Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:36:49 -0800 (PST) From: firehose Joe Subject: To Thine Own Self Chapter 21 "This above all: To thine own self be true, for it must follow as dost the night the day, that canst not be false to any man." Shakespeare (Hamlet) Though the theme of wrestling will be a key component in the early chapters and a continuing theme, the story is about relationships. Thanks to TalonRider for assistance proofing the story. All of this is fiction and based only on my imagination, not any person past or present. Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com From the previous chapter: Pushing against the door, he entered the room. A pall of smoke hung in the air. It was hot. Alejandro immediately pealed off his flannel shirt and carried it as he made his way to the bar. Pushing against the door, he entered the room. A pall of smoke hung in the air. It was hot. Alejandro immediately unbuttoned his flannel shirt. Ordering a beer, he noticed the barkeep giving him close but friendly scrutiny. "Your first time, am I right? Just here to watch or you gonna work out?" "I'm planning to watch tonight." Alejandro said as he paid for the beer and looked for a place to sit. The room was full. Men crowded the bar two deep. Dressed in all manner of garb from leather to jeans, the guys were, for the most part, putting their muscles and bulges out there for anyone who wanted to look. There were some older men with young studs at their elbows but most men there seemed to be in play. Chapter 21 Alejandro tried not to stare. It was tough. These men seemed to exude testosterone. He could only begin to imagine what it might be like to be tied up with any of them. He headed for the side of the room and leaned against the wall where he had a decent view of the action, both on the mats and in the bar area. He was new. He was fresh meat. As he looked across the room he caught the eyes of several men giving him the once over. The shirt had to go. Setting his beer down, Alejandro hung it on one of the dozens of coat hooks screwed in a piece of wood mounted to the block wall. Looking at all the other garments, he removed it and hung it inside out, tying the sleeves around it. It was too cold outside to lose his shirt by someone making a mistake. Picking up his beer he leaned again. His black T was knit raw silk and clung tightly to his body. The neck was cut full and an inch of chest fur was visible. He noticed a couple of smiles with some raised eyebrows expressing appreciation for what they saw. Scanning the room, he spotted a man in a black leather vest and jeans working the crowd. He stopped at tables, at the bar and greeted men standing nearby. A buzzer sounded that caught Alejandro's attention. There was sporadic applause mixed with some catcalls tossed to a couple of guys who had gotten soundly beaten. Surprised, he saw the mats immediately cleared of wrestlers. Three men with what appeared to be dry mops, moved back and forth across the mats evidently to absorb sweat. When finished, they each took a spray bottle from their belt and began to spritz the mat with, what Alejandro guessed was, a cleaning or sanitizing solution. Out came the mops again to wipe the mats down a second time. All of this was done fast. The buzzer sounded again and guys were on the mats seconds later locked up and going at it. There were three regulation mats arranged as a stubby T. Two were side by side near the bar area, separated by a ledge for observers. Centered behind the two was the third. Along the three sides surrounding it were padded walls of hallways that led to the back. Only a portion of the building seemed to be used by the area visible to Alejandro. Idly he wondered what was behind the hallways and doors. The crowd seemed to shift as some guys left to dress out for their match and others returned from their shower. Alejandro noticed the leather vest man was talking to someone again. Much closer now, Alejandro could see the molded denim surrounding a generously proportioned basket and what he imagined were tight hard buttocks. His chest was a mass of dark curly hair. As he bent over Alejandro got a view of his defined pec with its dark nip and nub. His eyes glanced back up and Alejandro saw a smile playing on the leather vest man's face. He'd been caught. Alejandro could feel himself flush immediately. He looked away but could see in his peripheral vision that the man had moved to another table. Alejandro inwardly felt himself sigh with some relief. Action was hot and heavy on the mats. On the mat closest to Alejandro, two well built, jock strap clad men were wrestling. Their skill level was impressive. It seemed their movements never stopped. Each time Alejandro thought one was going to dominate; the other somehow reversed and escaped. Their jocks were full but didn't give indication of an erection for either of them. Alejandro was intent on their match, feeling himself tense and release his abs and pecs as he mentally wrestled through their various moves. He sensed rather than saw a man's presence behind him. Before he could turn a slightly accented voice said "They are good aren't they, and nice to look at as well." Alejandro turned and found he was standing only a few inches from his leather vest man. The rich smell of leather, sweat, and man musk filled his nostrils and made his cock lurch. The face was olive, a Mediterranean coloring. Was he Italian, North African? No the accent was neither. Perhaps Greek, Alejandro couldn't tell immediately. "There have been several good matches." Alejandro's voice seemed in his mind to trail off as he studied the man's face. Crinkled with lines in all the right places, his skin was two-toned. His heavy beard, close shaved, was blue-black in contrast to the golden olive complexion elsewhere. His eyes hooded by heavy black brows that nearly joined over his aquiline nose were black pools that danced and sparkled with mischief and something else that Alejandro couldn't determine. "Yes, fortunately we've been able to attract some wrestlers who are as serious about their sport as their bodies. Of course there are a wide variety of styles you will see over a period of time but most of it is not posturing. Its hard wrestling and often I wish there were many more minutes to some matches I see. "Forgive me, I'm being rude. May I introduce myself? I am Nicholas Santos but everyone calls me Nicco as I hope you will. Is this your first visit to Bears Den?" Alejandro noticed the brilliant smile against the dark skin. Smiling in return he said, "I'm Alejandro Algara. Yes this is my first visit. It was recommended by a friend with whom I wrestle and train." Nicco's eyes slightly widened as his head cocked to the side a bit. "You are a professional perhaps, with your own trainer?" Alejandro smiled and laughed quickly, "No, but thanks for the compliment. I've only wrestled for the past couple of years but find I like it. My school and work schedules prohibit normal team activities so I pay a man to work with me one-on-one. Or paid, I should say. That's why I'm here." "Very curious circumstance, I must say. So you are in school, graduate or undergraduate if you don't mind my asking." Nicco said. "Undergraduate. I'm in my senior year at the University." Alejandro said. "Please don't be offended by my curiosity, but it is unusual for a young man to have a private trainer, at least one who is not planning to compete at a national level or become a pro. And perhaps I'm adding insult to injury when I ask why you've stopped your training and how you came to know about the Bears Den?" Nicco prompted. Alejandro sensed a possible need for more caution. Nicco made him feel comfortable in addition to being very handsome and sexually exciting. "The man who's been training me is going to become a father soon and needed additional money so took another job. I've worked with him for a year or more and was at a loss to know how to find another coach. He said a friend of his had wrestled here some time back in exhibition or competition. Something like that, he said it offered a cash prize for winners. "He was concerned at what I might think about him for suggesting this place." Alejandro immediately regretted his choice of words. Nicco's eyebrows raised and he turned his head slightly and inquired, "`This place' what do you mean?" The question neither indicated challenge nor offence. Alejandro watched Nicco's face carefully. "That came out badly. I apologize if I offended. You see, he's straight." Nicco immediately knew where this might be heading and decided to have some fun with this young, attractive stranger. "You mean you're not!?" Alejandro immediately flushed and looked at Nicco with confusion. "Why, um, well," he stumbled inarticulately. Nicco threw his head back with a laugh. "If you were, you'd be one of five or fewer." His laughter continued but soon abated. "So tell me what do you hope to find now that you're here?" Alejandro felt like he'd been caught in the cross hairs of a scope. "Mr. Santos, I came here for two reasons. If Jase and Steve, his friend, were concerned that I might be offended by what I saw, I was more than willing to take the chance to experience something beyond the small circle of school and work. Secondly, Jase, he's the man I trained with, said I might find someone who was willing to work with me to continue my training." Alejandro answered. With a probing look, Nicco asked, "What kind of training do you seek?" Alejandro blushed at the answer he wanted to give. Nicco noted it but said nothing. "I want to find someone who wants to wrestle with me. Like I said, I enjoy the workout, the mental and physical contest." As he finished he involuntarily looked over his shoulder at the match on the mat closest to them. One of the wrestlers was clearly dominating the other and yet both seemed to be enjoying the struggle. Alejandro quietly groaned. Nicco had followed his gaze and noted the quiet groan. Correctly interpreting, he quietly asked, "Which of those two men would you like to be?" Alejandro heard the question but in the midst of his lust fogged imagination he couldn't answer immediately. `Both' was the word that came to mind but he fought against it. The taller of the men had secured a pin pressing his opponent's shoulders to the mat with his knees. With one hand on the mat, he grabbed a hand full of hair and pulled the other man's face into his protruding jock strap. The buzzer sounded and Alejandro watched as the winner quickly got to his feet and offered his hand to his opponent. Alejandro turned slowly and faced Nicco again. "To have a chance to wrestle like that, it wouldn't matter." He held Nicco's gaze and watched for a reaction. There was no immediate change in his expression but Alejandro sensed that something shifted, though he didn't know what. Someone called for Nicco from the bar. He turned and waved turning immediately back to Alejandro. "Sorry, I must leave you for a moment. May I bring you another beer when I return?" Alejandro smiled and nodded yes as he removed his wallet. Nicco's hand reached up and rested firmly squeezing Alejandro's shoulder. "Allow me; I'm one of the owners." With that, he smiled another dazzling smile and turned his attention toward the problem and walked away. Alejandro watched his retreating back. Broad shouldered with a tapered waist he filled his jeans as well from the back as from the front. He noticed the ropes of muscles radiating from the back of his neck leading to bands of muscle covering his shoulders. Nicco's arms were long and heavily muscled. Alejandro felt his cock throb as he wondered what it might be like to be tied up with such a man. Letting his eyes wander the room, he caught a look and smile from a young man clad in a Speedo, sandals and a towel thrown around his shoulders. He was at a table with two older men who were talking. The young wrestler licked his lips and raised his eyebrows in a semblance of erotic greeting and cum-on. He tilted his head a couple of times toward the mats. Alejandro thought that he was asking if he wrestled. Alejandro nodded a tentative yes when he saw one of the older men whose back was to Alejandro look at his young companion to say something. Suddenly the young man's attention was solely directed to his companion. Not knowing what to think Alejandro let his eyes gaze across the bar area. As before there were several questioning looks but no one made any attempt to speak. Alejandro determined early on that it was not his intention to `work the room' and meet people. He was here to watch. Of course Nicco presented a different element in the mix that would, he hoped, continue. The buzzer sounded. Alejandro's focus was once again on the mats. A bottle of beer came into view. He took it and met Nicco's smile with his own as he mouthed his thanks amidst the raucous din of cheering and jeering. He could feel the breath on his neck and back of his ear as he heard Nicco ask, "Have you picked out your champion from among these three?" Alejandro's muscle pulsed with the presence of this man. He was almost afraid to turn around. He pointed to the rear mat where two hairy, muscled men, dressed in singlets were tied up on the mats. It appeared to Alejandro that little progress was being made by either. Their bodies were a writhing knot of muscles. Each seemed to have a punishing hold on the other. The wrestler on top suddenly tapped the mat and they released each other only to spring to their feet as if conscious of the time. Facing off they slammed into each other with a ferocity that was intensely stimulating for Alejandro. He'd never seen wrestling like this before. It was the sheer latent power ready to crush the other that held Alejandro's attention. It seemed as if it could be a dangerous contest if they hadn't tapped out. Alejandro thought of the dominance rituals of creatures in nature. One of these men could crush the other if the one faltered or refused to submit. The power of the potential in their muscles caused Alejandro's cock to surge and press against its confines. Unconsciously he groaned and pulled his hand across his swollen groin. Nicco, watching closely, guessed at the pent up passion and desire to fight, to feel, to conquer or be conquered that Alejandro was surely experiencing as he watched. "I know them both. If one makes a mistake, the outcome may become rather violent if the other doesn't submit quickly. It is a contest they enter willingly with each other. I've seen it numerous times and both are capable, if given the opportunity, of taking the other and crushing him. "Is this the kind of contest you seek, one where you pit your strength and skill against another man not knowing the outcome? Or do you prefer knowing how it will end? Tell me what it is you have come here for, Alejandro." The last question came as more of an invitation than question. Tearing his eyes away from the contest he looked at Nicco. Nicco caught his breath at the drive and passion in Alejandro's eyes as he said "That is what I want to learn how to do." With that Alejandro turned his rapt attention back to the mat for the remaining few minutes. Nicco considered the many men he'd met and wrestled over the years. This young one was somehow different. After the match was over, Alejandro turned to Nicco and said with passion and fire in his eyes that touched Nicco and reminded him of his own youthful passion. "I've come here to learn. All my wrestling has been a test of training and strength. I don't know what it is that I'm seeing here but there's an elemental desire, maybe primal is too strong a word, but with the last match it seemed they were willing to test each other `till one lay at the other's feet. "Can you help me find someone who will teach me to wrestle like that, someone who will push me, make me work, make me fight `till I'm drained. I only imagined this kind of wrestling before. How do I start? Do I simply ask men here to wrestle with me? What do I do Nicco?" Alejandro cut himself off abruptly seeing a smile on Nicco's face and imagined that he'd, once again, embarrassed himself with his enthusiasm and desire. The change of expression on Alejandro's face confused Nicco momentarily until Alejandro spoke. "I've amused you. Perhaps it was a mistake coming here. Thank you for the beer." Alejandro said as he pushed the unfinished beer toward Nicco and reached for his shirt. Someone called to Nicco from the bar. He waved them off but they called again. "Alejandro, forgive me if I appeared to be amused with you. Nothing could be further from the truth. I want to continue our conversation but," the man at the bar called again, louder with some irritation in his voice. "Please don't leave right away. Let me see what the problem is and I'll be back. I am reasonably sure I have an answer for your question. We simply need to talk more." Alejandro quickly searched Nicco's eyes and saw the sincerity. "Perhaps I misunderstood. Yes, I'll wait." Nicco nodded to the beer bottle, offering another. "No, but thank you. I've had enough this evening." Nicco turned and shouted across the din of the room to the barkeep. Turning back quickly to Alejandro he smiled then left. Again Alejandro watched mesmerized as Nicco walked away from him. He was powerfully built. Alejandro could feel a wave of lust rise in him. Damn, he didn't want to go home tonight to an empty bed and masturbate. Damn and damn, he thought as he grabbed his crotch to rearrange the swollen flesh! Matches had started again. Alejandro turned his attention to the mats. Two caught his attention immediately. One pair of grapplers was overt in their erotic intent. Reasonably competent in their game, their crotch grabbing and humping each other seemed to Alejandro both humorous and exciting. The other match up was a blend of gymnastic skill and street fight. Both were dressed in Speedos and were barefooted. The mismatch of sizes piqued Alejandro's curiosity. The smaller of the men, nearly 6 inches shorter than his opponent, who obviously out weighed him, had an acrobatic style of aggression that was exciting to watch. Landing a double footed kick to his opponent's chest sent the man flying back against the wall. The acrobat fell to the mat and quickly rolled to his feet, rushing his opponent who was trying to recover from the blow. Hitting him mid chest with an elbow the man bent forward. The acrobat grabbed his head and flipped him, moved quickly to his side and jumped to gain more momentum and landed another elbow in his gut. The acrobat tried it again but his opponent rolled out at the last second and grabbed the acrobat's wrist putting him in a painful armbar. Controlling the bar, the opponent twisted the arm rotating the acrobat as he stood. Stepping across the acrobat he stomped a foot between his shoulders. Alejandro heard the opponent shout for the acrobat's submission. Hearing his refusal, the opponent knelt on the acrobat's back and capturing his other arm pulled him into a surfboard hold. Alejandro's attention was drawn away as someone touched his elbow. One of the Speedo clad boys he'd seen earlier with an older man handed him a cold bottle of water. "Nicco said to bring you this. I'm Jeff, by the way." Alejandro couldn't help himself. The man was golden tanned with a blue Speedo which matched his eyes. His unbuttoned shirt revealed a sculpted torso devoid of hair. Alejandro tore his eyes away and looked back at Jeff. Alejandro took the bottle. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. Thank you for the water. It is hot in here. My name is Alejandro; I'm glad to meet you." "Al, Ale, sorry. Can you say it again?" "Alejandro, but please, call me Alex." He said as he let his eyes wander down to the golden skinned chest. Pulling the shirt back, Jeff tucked his thumbs in the band of his Speedos as he rested his hands on his hips. Alejandro quickly losing some of his shyness looked up and smiled and then let his gaze fall again taking in the muscled pecs, eight pac abs and the bulging crotch. "Nicco said you wrestled but didn't bring any gear with you tonight. I've got a spare pair of speeds if you want to give it a go. We've got enough time to change and stretch. My mat time is in 20 minutes. What do you say?" "If you've got a mat time, who were you planning to wrestle with," Alejandro asked, a bit confused? "With Tommy," he said as he nodded to the table where the red Speedo guy had been eying him. "He and I usually wrestle a few matches. We enjoy it and it keeps our, uh, friends happy." Jeff said looking uncomfortable for a split second before his smile returned. "No offence Jeff and I hope you'll give me the opportunity again if I come back. Tonight I'm watching, getting an idea of how the place works. Thanks though." Alejandro smiled tipping the opened water toward Jeff in a gesture of thanks. Jeff shrugged his shoulders a little and with a cock of his head he smiled, nodded, and turned toward his friends. Alejandro watched him walk away, sorry that the tail of the shirt hid the back of Jeff's suit. He leaned against the wall enjoying the cold water. What a feast for his eyes, he mused. He'd been so tempted when Jeff had offered but knew prudence was the wise choice. Nothing had given him any concern thus far but he was very alone here and if trouble came looking for him he'd be hard pressed for someone to watch his back. Yes, it was better to wait and watch. He saw Nicco at the bar looking in his direction. He lifted the water and mouthed thanks. Nicco raised his finger indicating that Alejandro should wait. Alejandro watched as Nicco said something to the barkeep and raising both hands in a gesture of frustration, turned and started making his way toward Alejandro through the pressing crowd. A shout from the bar followed. Alejandro could see the barkeep gesturing rudely to Nicco's back and had to smile at the impotence of the gesture. "I have but a minute. Tonight is very busy and I must help at the bar." Nicco hesitated for a moment then continued "In answer to your question, I am sure I can help you find a wrestling partner. We need to talk further about details and arrangements and now is impossible. Can you perhaps meet me for breakfast tomorrow morning, you name the time." Alejandro was nonplussed for a moment. He had come here to find another wrestling coach. He had seen wrestling that he'd been unable to imagine. Yes. If Nicco could help him, breakfast was a small price to pay. "Where should I meet you?" "Three doors down from here on the other side of the street there is a small diner that serves great food, home cooked. We will meet there. Will 9 a.m. suit you?" Nicco asked. Alejandro again was captured momentarily by the intensity emanating from the man. If nothing more, the ability to talk without shouting would be reason enough to meet him for breakfast. Alejandro nodded, "Yes. I'll see you then. Thank you again for the water." With that Nicco turned and answered the most recent shout from the barkeep and made his way back to the bar. Alejandro grabbed his shirt, suddenly tired of the noise and the smoke. Making his way toward the door, he passed the table where Jeff was standing and nodded his thanks and goodbye. Outside the din of the noise behind the door was muffled. The air was cold and clean. Alejandro let the chill cool him down as he walked to his car finally putting on his shirt. Before he drove home, he drove by the restaurant Nicco had mentioned. It looked like the typical `mom and pop' establishment with its fresh coat of paint and careful lettering on the door. Tomorrow would tell its own story he thought as he drove north. He took the lake front route letting his mind wander. He was in no rush to get home. Noticing that he was hungry, he laughed to himself. It had been hours since his last meal. Certainly there would be an Italian restaurant open this late offering pizza and other entrées. Spying one he pulled into the lot. Soon he was seated, enjoying the smells of tomato and garlic as he sipped on a glass of red wine while waiting for his lasagna. The restaurant was busy enough to promise good food, but cleared out from the Saturday night crush to allow Alejandro not to feel rushed. Across from him at a nearby table a man sat reading and sipping coffee. His thick dark hair and coloring reminded Alejandro of Nicco. The man's sleeves were folded in on themselves and revealed bare, hairy, muscular forearms. The crew collar of his thick sweater revealed a ring of chest hair. Alejandro suddenly realized he'd been lost in thought and brought his eyes up. His met those of the man who was now returning his gaze with both a question and a smile. In the very recent past, Alejandro would have busied himself with a menu or something to avoid the direct glance of a handsome stranger. Tonight was different. The last hours had been cathartic. In a mental flash, Alejandro remembered the looks exchanged, the `eye fucking' as he'd come to think of it. The bulges in jeans and Speedos, the exposed muscled chests along with the inviting and challenging looks he'd seen from others gave him a sense of confident self awareness. Instead of looking away, Alejandro met the man's gaze and smiled slightly. It was a small gesture but was a crossing of the line of sorts for Alejandro. He wouldn't avoid the eye contact. He would meet it straight on. Let the other think what he may, Alejandro found him masculine and attractive. A bit of eye contact was not something he'd shirk again. To his bewilderment, Alejandro saw the other man dog-ear the page of his book and close it and continue to look at him. Suddenly Alejandro wished he'd looked away from the first but this was now a challenge of sorts. Not with the stranger, it was a challenge within himself. The stranger smiled with his eyebrow slightly raised. Cocking his head a bit he continued to study Alejandro's face and chest. Alejandro noticed that the stranger wasn't avoiding his eyes; rather he was taking in the details of Alejandro's face. With no seeming self-consciousness, the stranger reached his hand below the table and from the movement; Alejandro could only guess he was shifting the material of his trousers for greater comfort. Alejandro felt his cock try to stretch but it was caught in the thick denim. He twisted in his chair trying to ease the constriction. He saw the man laugh quietly to himself as if he understood exactly what was happening. A waiter approached the area and headed toward Alejandro. The stranger, still smiling broadly, picked up his book, again reached beneath the table to adjust himself and stood, pulling his sweater down slightly obscuring the bulge that was obvious to Alejandro looking at him in profile. He nodded to Alejandro and walked out the door. Alejandro could feel the heat rise in him. The waiter somehow noticed. He looked at the departing back then back at Alejandro and smiled. With a slight shake of his head, the waiter checked to see if all was satisfactory then left. Lasagna was a favorite and was delicious. Two glasses of wine was one too many though Alejandro was far from drunk. The brief encounter with the fellow diner left him thinking about Nicco. Perhaps that's why he'd stared; he thought but then smiled to himself. The man had been dark and handsome. Alejandro could feel his balls churning as he drove home. He needed release. As always, when he'd been out late, he checked in on his father. The nurse greeted him and showed him the latest record of blood pressure and pulse. All was as it had been for months. Thanking her, he said his good night and went to his room. He stripped and lay on his back on his bed and let the evening's events play once again through his mind. Letting himself relax, he began to recall minute details. It had been sensory overload for him to a degree. Suddenly his imagination was filled with images of men in all states of dress, wrestling, jostling each other, walking around nearly naked in open shirts and Speedos. As he let the `film' run in his mind, his cock strained in its hardness. With each involuntary thrust prompted by memories his abs contracted with the growing ache for satisfaction. His cock oozed precum. He let the nails of his upturned fingers lightly trace his pecs, nips and abs. The feeling caused his torso to spasm as the muscles involuntarily tightened with the stimulation. Alejandro lay on his bed, he head pressed back into the pillow, his muscles flexing not only in his chest but legs as well. At times his heels dug into the mattress as the lust driven tremors shook him. His cock throbbed. The hardness almost hurt. Wanting to touch himself he restrained afraid the evening might vanish as a mirage. Slowly it began to happen. The shudders increased. He could feel his abs shaking with deep convulsions as his muscles further tightened in response to his need for release. His muffled guttural groans and sighs accompanied the burning he felt in his balls and cock. His face was hot. Hands gripped the sheets grabbing fists full of cloth. With a silent cry, his face contorted as his neck bridged back lifting his body as the eruption enveloped him. Cum came in spurts landing on his pecs and abs. Finally the paroxysm eased. The convulsions in his gut slowed to fits of shuddering. He could feel the muscles in his body begin to release from the involuntary flexing. He lay there both lost in the moment and yet letting his mind record the ebb and flow of the event. It was over. Drawing in a deep cleansing breath he felt the oxygen once again flood his lungs as the muscle tensions released. A final shudder and sigh escaped his chest yet he did not move. His mind returned to the Bears Den. It was real, not imagined. His memory was not an illusion that would not shatter like crystal. He would return and find it waiting for him. Exploration, he knew, came with risk. Tomorrow would begin a new chapter. Grabbing some tissues from his bedside table, he roughly wiped the semen from his chest, turned down the covers and slept. A writer's peculiar food and drink are the comments of his reader. Feel free to share your thoughts with me. firehosejoe@yahoo.com Ps. I am in need of a beta reader for subsequent chapters. If you have interest please contact me.