Here's another piece of white bread in
the middle of the
sandwich. No sex in this chapter, but it bumps the story along. Be
patient.
If you're a minor, don't
tell me. You shouldn't be here. If you don't like gay sex,
I can't imagine what you're doing here. Leave.
Tumbleweed Connections, Chapter
Three
The Benson Cougars did a number on your head from the time they stepped
onto the field.
It was the uniform. Black pants, black jerseys, white numbers,
white helmet. Whoever chose those colors had nailed it.
You'd watch three of our boys walk onto the field for the pre-game coin
toss and you'd get a chill.
All that black. It said to opponents, "We are gonna fuck you up
seriously."
And of course, over the years, they had the record to back up that
claim, which was the main part of the intimidation factor. The black
uniform merely announced the
oncoming doom that the historical record had suggested the Cougars were
bringing any given Friday night.
Not that they were invincible; in fact, the last ten years had
tarnished the image somewhat. The rest of the programs in the
area had pretty much adopted the Benson Cougar system, and it had
raised the level of competition all around. Friday would be our
third game, and Coach Dickson already had some apprehensions about the
season. We'd lost the first game, 14-17. The boys looked
sloppy and unprepared. We won the second, 21-14, but didn't look
much better. And the real competition was still to be faced.
That meant it was going to be a long, tense season.
Of course, I had an additional stress on my mind. I'd just had
sex with one of the boys it was my responsibility to coach. It
might not have been immoral, but it was definitely unethical.
"Let's add illegal," my guilty conscience added, as I reflected on the
previous night. Serving alcohol to an eighteen-year-old.
Damn.
I tried to put Jared's spin on it: If we'd met at a bar and hit
it off, well, that might have been gay, but it wouldn't have been this
awful thing. Thinking about it that way wasn't really working for
me, but it was the best I could do, and I tried to drop it. I had
other shit to worry about.
The rest of the week proved that Jared was true to his promise.
He worked hard on the field and remained friendly in the locker
room. It was as if the previous night had never happened.
Friday night came, and when all was said and done, Game Three went a
long way to make us all relax a little. We won it 21-0 against a
tough opponent. The
boys looked superb. Plays were tightly executed, no major
coverages were blown, and above all else, the team as a whole seemed to
get a
little of that Cougar swagger going. The Darth Vader black of the
uniform definitely fit them that night. And the crowd, for the
first time this season, got into it with the traditional Cougar
Roar. Sometimes I thought our fans were as intimidating as the
players. Hearing twenty thousand fans growl in unison is a little
disturbing to the opposition.
After the game ball had been awarded,, and the final words spoken, and
everybody was getting ready to go out and raise some hell, Jared walked
up to me and said, "Give me a lift home, Coach?"
I hesitated. "Aren't you gonna go out and celebrate, Watts?"
He said, "I don't think so. I'm kinda tired. Bobby and Zane
and Alex wanted me to hang with them. We were gonna pick up some
girls. But Zane's with my last girlfriend, and I don't wanna be
around her. And, I don't know, I just don't feel like making
small talk with some girl tonight, feeling up some tit just because I'm
supposed to."
Just then, Josh Daniels passed by, on his way out the door. "Bad ass tonight, Watts," he grinned,
high-fiving Jared.
Jared high-fived him back and said, "We still on for watching the game
at your place Sunday?"
"Absolutely," Josh said. "The Cowboys on big screen, in High
Definition! Hope they're worth it." He laughed and walked
out
the door.
Jared turned to me and sighed. His face confirmed for me the
story he'd told me the other night; he had it bad for Daniels.
After a pause, he said, "Well, Coach,
how about it? My pickup's in the shop and my house is on your
way."
I looked at him and said quietly, "I'm wondering if you were thinking
maybe about something more than a lift home."
He blushed, but didn't flinch. "Well...yeah, I guess I was."
Shaking my head, I began to launch into my well-thought-out argument
about how totally insane that was. "Jared..."
He interrupted me. "I need it so
much, Coach. I've thought about it for so long, and, well,
there's no way I can go out and do much of that shit in this town."
"Let's head on out to my car," I said. "We shouldn't be talking
about this in here." I pushed the door open and he stepped
through. As we walked, I said, "Jared, this whole thing is a bad
idea. It sets up stuff between us that shouldn't oughta be."
"Maybe," he said. "But I always felt like there was a connection
between us even before the other night. Don't you think?"
I had to admit there was.
"It's like I said,," he said as we walked. " I'm so confused
right now about myself. There's this girl I've been dating.
We're not together--I mean she's not my girlfriend or
anything--but I know if I want it from her I can get it if I'll work at
it a little. And I'm gonna do that."
We reached my car. I unlocked the passenger door and let him in.
I got in, started the engine, and he kept talking. "But I got
this ache in my gut for Josh. God, I don't know; sometimes the
way he treats me, I almost think he feels the same way. Other
times..." He stared out the window, leaving the thought unspoken.
"Anyway," he said, "I need to be with a guy more times before I can
know what it is I really want. You're...well, you treat me like
I'm not some stupid kid, and you're the only safe person I can think of
to do this with; you know, learn about how to do it, shit like that."
"Didn't you say you had a friend you'd done stuff with?" I asked.
"Yeah, he said. "But it's weird, you know. We've been
friends for a while and I don't really like him in that way. I
just think it would mess things up a little between us. It's a
long story. And he's not pushing for it so much. I think
he's got some other friends he does stuff with. Guys I don't
really hang with.
I don't really get much chance with him anymore."
I was quiet the whole time as I listened to him. My dick was as
hard as steel. Yeah, I wanted another go with him. But this
was just wrong. I
wrestled inside my head, and I'm sure he could see it.
"Look," he said finally. "Let me say this and then you gotta make
a
decision, Coach. Whatever decision you make, that'll be okay with
me. I think we could help each other out. You're pretty
young still. You got nobody up here. We got something of a
connection. And we had one amazing hookup. There's so much
I wanna ask you and learn from you. I think you could help me
understand myself. I think you could show me how to do stuff."
I could feel his eyes drilling into me. "I'm not saying I want
some big relationship. Now that
would be really fucked up. But I sure would like to be able to do
more stuff with you. If you say yes, we can stop playing this
stupid game where you're going 'should I or shouldn't I?' If you
say no, I'll drop this shit and we won't talk about it any more.
He paused. My eyes left the road for a second, as I turned to
look at him. His face was anxious and concerned. "I hope you
don't say no," he said finally. "I really need this. But if
you do say no,
I'll understand. And either way, I promise, things will be fine
between us. And I'll never out you. You're my coach."
He looked around quickly at where we were. "My street's coming
up. Am I going to my house or yours?"
I sighed and giving him a weak smile, said, "Ya little bastard."
I drove
past his street, straight on toward danger and scandal.