CBT: ...begun so many years ago, Pt. 2 Comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. Contribute to Nifty!
As I write this today, that first session of perverse play occurred about 23 to 24 years ago. Strangely, I cannot be certain of the exact date I first discovered the joys of this new means of self pleasure. After that first session of what much later became known as CBT to me, my cock ached and stung for about 2 hours after I'd cum. The ache wasn't so bad, but the stinging seemed more annoying in that it increased any time I peed. Once 2 hours passed, the stinging was but a slight memory. I planned to remember about the stinging and how long after the end of the 'perverse' (as I'd come to call it) session it would haunt me as a reminder of how I'd assaulted my cock.
The memory of what I'd done made me hot just thinking about it. I felt tremendously excited by the fact that I'd found a new way to play which was unknown to anyone else (it was silly of me to think this, but who knew otherwise at the time.) As excited as I was by what I'd done, I was a bit afraid and uncertain that it should be done again, at all, or if done again very soon. This perversity, in spite of the tremendous excitement and firing of nerve endings in parts theretofore unknown, was a bit intimidating and mysterious.
At the time, with no internet and cellphones in existence, I felt certain I was alone in my perverse play. Since I could find no one else into the same kind of 'kinky' play I was into that meant there was no one to ask about it. Questions like: how they came to discover it; how long they've been doing it; how long a typical session lasted; what were some of the objects used; and most importantly, did they suffer serious discomfort afterwards and for how long afterward, How did they feel about this kinky play? Did they feel guilty or ashamed afterwards? Did they plan to continue with this play consciously or were they driven to continue out of erotic need?
To many today, these questions might seem inconsequential. Remember though, that at the time of this first occurrence, there were no venues for pics and vids and chats and groups since the internet was in its infancy and used mainly for retail shopping. It was only through continued use of the internet through the years that I became aware of means to chat and trade pics and vids and compare experiences, but I am jumping ahead of myself.
Anyway, in spite of the after-effects of that first session, my mind kept returning to the idea of this type of kinky play. However, somehow I felt it wise not to indulge in this perverse play too frequently, for more than one reason. The first reason being the period of recovery from the discomfort of the play and the second being that doing it too often might cause it to become 'run of the mill' and lose some of it psychological attraction which added immensely to the physical eroticism. So, I decided I would do this kinky play again when I felt truly horny and could afford the time afterward for recovery. By this I meant that I would do this play on a weekly basis thereby building up my horniness and my cum load. Also, if it turned out I was overly enthusiastic with the objects, I could recover not only the rest of the evening but for the following day. Therefore, I would do this play on a Friday or Saturday night (when home.)
Because I felt this play was particularly nasty and perverse I kept it secret from my close gay friends and my partner. After all, once I recovered from my orgasm, I often felt ashamed and 'dirty' that I had done what I did. It was only after a few days after the session would I become horny enough to want to do it again. I don't think I ever told my partner and only one of my longtime gay friends about this kinky play. I had 'sanitized' my play to the one friend I'd told. In spite of him thinking it was 'weird" and that he'd never heard of anything like it, he said as long as I liked it that was all that mattered. In spite of his attitude, I did not tell him of subsequent sessions.
Well, of course, enough days passed when I once again thought of pleasuring myself in my newly found perverse, kinky way. It must have been around 8:30 that evening when I thought it time to make myself feel good. But it was different this time. I wanted to find other objects to use in my play this evening. I looked for various pens and pencils and other objects that inspired me to push them down my cock. Aside from some different pens and pencils, of varying thicknesses and lengths, I decided a Philips Head screwdriver would be hot, too. So, I collected these objects and went to settle down in the bedroom for an evening of hot, kinky play.
I again started with some different pens and pencils from my first session. Again, the stinging occurred but seemed less than at the first session. I wasn't sure if this was truly the case or if my heated excitement at doing this again relegated the stinging to inconsequential. After inserting several pens and pencils to the depth I'd achieved before, I decided to try the screwdriver. The good thing about the screwdriver was that it would descend of its own weight. It must have been about 8 inches long and would descend and stop at the 5 inch depth. I alternately played with various pens, pencils and the screwdriver pushing and pulling them out and basking in the hot feel of them as they filled my urethra. My cock was alive with the feeling of being stuffed. The head was full and hard and shiny from my excitement and the shaft hard and thick as I played.
All that existed at this moment was my cock and how it felt to be stuffed repeatedly with these various objects. The screwdriver interested me completely because my peetube had become naturally lubed after these various insertions and the look and feel of it as it sank into my cock by its own weight was a tremendous turn on. I was in heavenly ecstasy as I treated my cock to repeated stuffings of pen, pencil or screwdriver. I planned to do this for as long as I could until I felt I had to cum, but was looking to delay cumming to enjoy the kinkiness of this very hot play. I lay there with my legs spread, my cock hard and pointing upright, and the hot view of something embedded in my cock feeling it fill my urethra. Laying there spread-eagled was as if I were surrendering myself to my basest instincts and it felt fabulous. Suddenly, I became aware of a new object to use tonight that I hadn't planned on.
I had one of the early models of cordless telephone. The kind that was wireless between the base and the handset. These early models had antennas on the handset,. The antenna was thick, grey plastic and about 6 or 7 inches long. Although it seemed intimidating, I thought I'd try getting that antenna down my cock. The antenna was thicker than anything I'd tried before and I wasn't sure it would work.
I took the handset and pointed the tip of the antenna at my cock hole and slowly pushed it in. The hole spread open but the texture of the plastic felt a little rough. I got some cooking oil and coated the tip of the antenna and my cock head. More of the antenna went in deeper and a bit of a sting started at this point. I was amazed that the antenna seemed to fit in my peehole. I worked at this for the rest of the evening, pushing and pulling the antenna in and out of my cock. On each new push, I would go deeper. It felt fantastic having this thickness fill my cock. After playing like this for quite some time, I pulled the antenna all the way out of my cock. I decided to see what would happen if I let go of the antenna once it passed the peehole. I positioned the antenna, lay back and spread my legs. Once the tip of the antenna entered my peehole I let go of the handset and just guided it so that if fell of its own weight into my cock. Oooeee! The feeling of that thick antenna going down by itself was fantastic, I wanted more. I positioned the angle of the antenna and let it drop into my cock again. I felt it hit the resistance the other objects had hit, It made me so hot I maneuvered the embedded antenna and then before I knew it, I felt my cock thickly stuffed to a new, deeper level, It felt so good I knew I was gonna cum. My cock starting pulsing and I quickly pulled on the handset to remove the fully embedded antenna. My cum shot out in numerous thick streams of hot cum. Mmm, this was the best yet!