Date: Sun, 10 Mar 2002 15:42:00 -0600
From: J
Subject: Changing My Mind, Chapter 1

I stopped humping, spent and out of breath.  My girlfriend, Sarah, clung to
my sweaty shoulders and pulled herself close to my face, her breasts pushing
against my bare chest.  "You cum yet?" she asked in as pleasant a voice as
possible.  She felt me shake my head in the dark, and then she asked, "Lost
cause?" to which I nodded.  We went to sleep, then.  Sarah drifted off
happily, in the arms of the boyfriend she'd apparently been eyeing for most
of college.  But I couldn't rest.  Why was I having such difficulty getting
an orgasm from fucking my girlfriend?

The next day was a weekend and Sarah had a squash match away somewhere, so I
spent the afternoon low-key, surfing the internet on my computer.  I'm not
sure how I even ended up in the erotic chat forum, but I'd brought my
what-the-hell attitude with me that day, so I signed on as `mr. Ious.'
Clever, huh?  I was barraged by a list of usernames on the right side of the
screen.  Names like `hungman' and `ate-inches' and `sammy_21.'  "What goes
on in here?" I wrote.  I was given the usual spiel by the room's operators
and discovered that it was a forum for gay men.  I'm not homophobic and I
needed something to do, someone to talk to, so I hung out.  I laughed a
little at the rude fantasies that were being written.  It was like these men
had known each other for years; a community of strangers.  "So what's your
fantasy?" one of them asked me.  I decided to play along.  "I'd like to get
turned gay."

"What do you mean by that?" asked one user, `tiptop_19.'

Ummm.  "I'm a straight guy -- hope that's okay in here -- and my fantasy is to
become so turned on by a man that I have no choice but to fall in love with
him," I wrote back.

"Everyone is welcome here," wrote hungman, a system op.

tiptop_19, who seemed to be taking a sudden interest in me, wrote, "Are you
Ser Ious, Mr. Ious?"

I don't know why, but I answered, "Sure."

"Cause I can help u with that," he wrote back.

So we started talking, tiptop_19 and I.  We chatted for three hours that
afternoon, and then two more late that night.  He was an interesting guy --
his name was Ryan, I found out -- had a boyfriend of two years, but liked to
get out and play the field a little.

"And your boyfriend lets you do this?" I asked, intrigued.

"My boyfriend doesn't tell me what to do," he wrote back.  "He knows I'll
always come home to him."

There was something very appealing about what Ryan said, the way he talked.
He had this presence online, which would have sounded ridiculous to me
before that day, but now I understood.  I felt like talking to him all the
time, and pretty soon, I was.  I started hanging out less and less with
college friends and with Sarah.  I'd make some lame excuse, and then rush
back to my room, lock the door, and get online with Ryan.

It didn't take too long for the conversation to lead to sex.  "So why u keep
showing up here?" Ryan wrote.

"I dunno," I said honestly.  "I just like the company, I guess."

"r u gay?"

"No!" I said.  Of course, that was basically the truth.  A friend of mine
and I had sucked each other off back in high school.  No big deal, just
fooling around...though I had asked to suck him off even after he refused to
reciprocate the last two times we'd done it.  "I mean," I continued, "I love
women.  I've had a blowjob from a guy friend, but to me, gay sex is about
power."

Ryan was persistent, though not pushy.  After two months of talking like
this, he was convinced I was gay and he wouldn't let it go.  I continued to
insist that I wasn't, or at least, I was bi.

One night, he wrote, "Take off your clothes."  And I didn't even think about
it, I just did it.  Ryan was in some completely different place in the
country, wouldn't have been able to tell if I was naked or wearing three
layers, but I did what he said.

"OK, naked," I replied.

"Look at ur cock."  I did.  "U hard?"  I was.  I told him.  "What are u hard
about?"

"I don't know," I wrote back.

That night, we had our first scene.  He had me slobbering all over my cock,
rubbing it slowly at first, then more until he ordered me to cum, and gobs
and gobs shot out of my rock hard cock.  It was the best orgasm I'd had in
weeks.

"You need more stuff, boy," Ryan wrote to me.  I found I liked being called
boy.  It seemed like an affectionate term.

"What kind of stuff, sir?"  Slowly, we accumulated a list.  At first, he
only intended me to buy some baby oil, but I kept on asking what else he
wanted me to get, just to see what ideas he had.  But then he'd tell me what
else he wanted me to get -- a dildo, a butt plug, a cock ring, posing trunks
-- and I'd have to buy them.  It's okay; I was good to try anything once, and
this wasn't going to hurt any, as long as I didn't run into anyone I knew.

I did some research and found a sex shop that would have those items two
towns over.  I drove there, parked around the corner -- I didn't want anyone
recognizing my car.  I mean, I wasn't gay.  I was just doing this with a
friend online.  Just trying stuff out.  There were a few people in the
store, browsing.  A quick check revealed I didn't know any of them.  I found
the dildos quickly and browsed through them.  There were monstrous ones, and
I figured it wasn't worth it to get one of those.  I chose one that looked
like it was about the size of my own cock: six inches long, about four
inches around.  Grabbed the butt plug, too, and a leather cock ring with
straps, but couldn't find the posing briefs anywhere.  Then I realized they
were behind the counter.  I'd have to ask for them.

Sitting by the register was a gorgeous woman -- busty, blonde, pouty lips.
When she saw me with the equipment I had in my hands, she looked at me as a
gay man, didn't even consider whether I was attractive or not because what
was the point for her?  "Can I help you?" she asked me.  I told her I needed
a pair of posing briefs.  She looked behind her where there were several
pairs on display.  She was much nicer than I had imagined a sex shop clerk
would be; together, we decided on a tight, electric blue, high cut, bikini
brief.  "That'll look really good for your boyfriend," she said.  I blushed
profusely.

Ryan seemed thrilled at my experience.  After beginning our session with the
usual warm-ups to nudity and erection, Ryan asked me what I wanted to do.  I
told him I wanted to try out the toys, I guess.  "So u want to get fucked in
the ass?" he said.

"No, it's different.  I just want to try the dildo."

"OK, whatev," Ryan wrote back.  He got me to slime the dildo and my ass with
lube and I sat back in my chair, my legs up on my desk, my computer right in
front of me.  I started to shove the dildo in my hole.  It took a while, and
there was a point right around three inches that took my breath away.  Then
it was intense pleasure and pain from there on.  Once it was all the way in,
Ryan ordered me to fuck my ass with the dildo.  There I was, naked and alone
in my dorm room, fucking my ass for the first time all because someone I'd
never met had told me to.  It felt incredible.  I loved getting fucked.

But before I could cum, Ryan told me I could not.  "u can't cum until u do
something for me."

Breathlessly, dildo half in my ass, I reached to the keyboard and wrote,
"Anything.  I'll do anything, sir."

"Anything?"  I was told to put on my cock ring and tight, light-colored
pants, plus a comfortable shirt.  Then I needed to drive to Wal-Mart the
next day, a Saturday, when it was really busy, and go to the dressing room.
That was the only place I was allowed to cum, but I couldn't use anything to
clean up but what I had on.  After cumming, I had to go buy a jockstrap,
some nylon rope, and a bucket, and come back home.  "I'll be waiting," Ryan
wrote.

I drove up to the Wal-Mart and entered.  I was so hard, and I knew that
anyone looking at me would be able to tell that my pants were straining with
lust.  Luckily, most of the customers were occupied with their kids or
spouses.  I grabbed a pair of pants -- any pair, didn't matter -- and walked
to the dressing room.  Once inside, I whipped out my rock-hard cock and
thought about Ryan.  I imagined his defined chest and abs, his confident
gaze luring me to do these ridiculous things.  I mean, I was about to
embarrass myself in front of a store full of people.  I didn't care.  I
wanted this.

I worked my left hand up and down my throbbing cock and in less than thirty
seconds, I exploded all over my pants.  It sprayed up and down my pant legs
like mud splashing a car.  Cum coated my legs .  Suddenly, I got scared.
Before just now, this had been an exciting idea that made me hard to think
about, but now there was no escape from my fate.  I tried to wait for a few
minutes to see if the cum stains would dry and fade, but there was no hope.
I gathered my courage and broke out of the dressing room.  I hadn't thought
to look where the items I needed were before blowing my wad, so now I had to
speedwalk up and down the aisles of this gigantic Wal-Mart, searching in
vain for the bucket, rope, and jockstrap.  I felt like everyone in the store
was looking at me now, whispering.  It was obvious I hadn't peed in my pants
-- there wasn't a soaking that ran down one leg.  It was more of a splatter,
like a Jackson Pollock painting.  I was bright red with shame.  Ryan had
really put me in my place.

I found the equipment I was to buy and endured the disgusted look of the
cashier's face as she rung me out.  But I also noticed that my erection was
back in full force as I walked outside to my car.

Ryan made me take the rope and wrap it around my ballsac just above my nuts
so that they stretched out a bit.  Then I had to tie the other end to a
bucket so that it banged against my shins.  I was to get naked and drink
plenty of water.  Ryan chatted with me about how I'd felt in the store.  "I
was so embarrassed, master," I wrote.  I'd started calling him master just
for kicks.  I thought again about what he'd made me do and realized that my
name for him was apt.  "Hold on a sec, sir.  I just have to go to the
bathroom."

"Wait," he wrote back instantly.  I sat waiting for his further
instructions.  "Pee in the bucket," he said.

I did what he said and filled the bottom of the bucket.  There was a little
more weight hanging off my balls.  I saw what he was doing to me.  My penis
was stiffer than I'd ever remembered.  I was so hot for Ryan; I felt like I
would do anything he asked me to.

"Drink more water," Ryan wrote.  Over the next several hours, he had me jack
slowly and tantalizingly, barely touching my cock, or allowing me just a few
strokes.  I peed three more times, and my master had me walk around, jump a
little bit.  I was really feeling it.  Ryan made me pinch my nipples until
they were extra sensitive, pulling the nubs away from my body, twisting them
to hardness.  He had me fuck my ass more with the dildo.  I did everything
he said.

That night, at three am, after over twelve hours of this, Ryan finally let
me cum.  It was mind-blowing.  All over my desk, my hands, my wall.  It was
as though my orgasm was lasting for whole minutes.  I couldn't help but
moan.  I knew my roommates could probably hear me, but I was starting not to
care.  I hadn't admitted it yet, but I was becoming gay for Ryan, and I was
becoming his slave.  Little did I know that this was only the tip of the
iceberg of what I would be willing to do for my master.


Thanks for reading.  Thanks, H.E., for the inspiration.