Date: Sun, 4 Apr 2010 18:42:10 -0700 (PDT) From: Thoby Andover Subject: Costumed Superheroes 04 Copyright 2010 by the author. thobyandover@y7mail.com Author's note: In the alternate universe of Century City, superheroes are an everyday part of life. And so is explicit male-to-male sex. If you happen to not like explicit male-to-male sex between costumed superheroes, then hit your *back* button and check out all the other stories on Nifty which feature plenty of cock-grinding, butt-pounding action between explicitly sex-having males who are *not* superheroes. Author's note: Thanks for the messages. Let me know of any ideas you might have. Unfortunately I have a habit of making promises to people and then taking far too long to get around to using their ideas. Nevertheless, I do appreciate your support. Author's note: Remember when you were a kid, right? And certain superheroes would appear on the television. In your formative and slightly confused sexuality, you thought to yourself; there are overt, homoerotic allusions here which are causing an unexpected hormonal charge within me. The way those two stand so close together -- touching, almost -- in the Commissioner's office, in their tight costumes. It's difficult to take it seriously on one hand, but on the other, there is a deep personal fascination with the unstated aspects of their relationship. The danger and fantasy, and the regular interspersal of BDSM scenes, are also factors with which I have no previous familiarity. Perhaps one day there will be reams of scholarly discourse on the societal and sexuo-political commentary contained within the popular-culture phenomenon of the Costumed Superhero. You turned to the colourful pages of the jaggedly-panelled comic-book, and considered Wonder Woman's whip. Here is an arch-typical figure of dominance and punishment, you thought. Sensually coiled and wielded with fluid, precise sensitivity, it represented a further, intense physical aspect of the dynamism and tacit libidinal energy of the superhero. Perhaps, you thought, one day there will be a new generation of superheroes, belonging to a more enlightened universe -- their relationships and desires woven with explicit but delicate skill into a hard-hitting and expertly constructed action story of Good verses Evil. Then again... PERHAPS NOT..! Mature audiences... we present: ***COSTUMED SUPERHEROES*** #4!!! All similarities between any characters, living or dead, is meant to be purely accidental and unintentional! ***** At the conclusion of the previous issue, several costumed superheroes were hurriedly making their way toward MacBeachBallBurger, for here, apparently, there is a felony in progress! Let us join TITAN MAN and TEEN RANGER as they race toward the scene of the crime in the powerful T-MOBILE! ***** Four cylinders *rrrmmmmed* painfully behind the rear axle as the humming, flat-mounted 1600cc engine drove the Volkswagen Karmann Ghia along on its painstaking, veering path through Parkway traffic. "The normal Volkswagen 1600 fastback is a better car for handling," advised Teen Ranger from the passenger seat. "The engine's upright and the whole vehicle is more suitably balanced, even though the weight is still behind the rear axle." "But this car has the Ghia body design," replied the determined, concentrating TITAN MAN as he floored the accelerator to get past a bus. "And although the superhero must posses fast reflexes and upmost physical strength, the very *appearance* of menace plays its part too!" "Hmm. Whatever," said the Teen with his elbow on the sill. "Personally, I think the fastback looks better too." ***** The bright, ever-alert TEEN RANGER is relaying lightning-quick snippets of advice to the TITAN MAN as the T-MOBILE negotiates the lanes! Meanwhile though, other superheroes are speeding toward the target! ***** "Do you think this thing will ever be firing on all twelve cylinders?" asked KID BUCK as he reclined in the low, leather passenger seat of the black Jaguar XJS -- the VEHICLE INTRUDER. "I can hear at least three cylinders missing. You're blowing blue smoke. You think maybe the spark-plugs need changing?" "You forget, Kid Buck," said Nocturnal Intruder. "Under the bonnet... No. I mean under the hood there lies a coiled monster of British engineering! It's never supposed to be firing twelve cylinders all at once. That's why there's twelve." "How come it's called MacBeachBallBurger?" the inquiring Kid asked. Nocturnal Intruder intoned darkly in reply. "Because if you go there enough, you end up looking like a beach ball." The T-Mobile screeched to a stop in a cloud, in front of the very dignified entrance to that same establishment. A colourful pile of faux Spanish rendered in fibreglass rose two stories high, and a giant inflated beach ball thrust upwards further on the summit of a pole, as would a brilliant gothic spire. The red-and white globe rotated slowly. "Well, this is MacBeachBallBurger," was the short comment uttered just before the doors of the VEHICLE INTRUDER slammed. Now was the time for action! The dark figure of leather and chrome, with the speedy sidekick of blue and yellow beside, raced across the kerb and swept through the entrance to MacBeachBallBurger. Just at that moment, a grey Volkswagen Karmann Ghia pulled over, and out leapt two more superheroes! They sped toward the crime-scene as well! This response of the Costumed Superheroes would surely overwhelm any sort of illegal activity, for an orange Ford F100 came roaring into the frame, containing the mighty WRANGLER -- and BOY RYDER -- hog-tied in the open rear tray (see previous issue). Inside MacBeachBallBurger, Nocturnal Intruder, Titan Man, The Wrangler, Kid Buck, and Teen Ranger were confronted with a distressing scene, for there were approximately one hundred crooks on the premises! "Jeeping Willakers!" Teen Ranger exclaimed, momentarily stopped in his tracks. "Look at all those crims!" "Not to mention fraudsters and con-artists!" Titan Man added. "Also, felons and lawbreakers!" said Nocturnal Intruder. "And also, villains and scoundrels and persons of disreputable character!" Kid Buck said. "Damn cattle rustlers!" said The Wrangler. "I think cattle rustling may be excluded from the general collection of crimes being carried out in this place at this time," observed Nocturnal Intruder. "Oh yeah?" said The Wrangler. "What do you think they put on their burgers? These varmints ain't here for the DrippyWhip!" "That's a good point!" said Teen Ranger. ***** Dear reader, it is time to make a pause and to take stock of the situation. Just what are all these crooks doing at MacBeachBallBurger while the Superheroes are having this conversation? And how long `till a sex scene occurs? Observe closely. We hope that all will be revealed! ***** "Well, they're all obviously criminals," said Nocturnal Intruder. "We can tell that from their ugly, scowling expressions and their beady eyes, and their long black trench-coats and dark hats." "But there's something strange," said a puzzled Titan Man. "Why has this dastardly army of social-enemies formed a long but orderly queue at the counter?" "I don't know, Titan Man," the Intruder said with a hand to his powerful jaw. "But whatever this evil caper, something tells me CAPTAIN VON HECKLE is behind it!!!" Just at that moment, the manager of the Sheertown MacBeachBallBurger franchise came hurrying toward the Costumed Superheroes. "Ah! The Superheroes! Thank God you're here! I don't know what to do! This is an outrageous crime!" "What on earth do you mean?" Nocturnal Intruder asked. "I could really go four Beach-Ball Burgers, large fries, twelve nuggets, large Fanta, and a Curly-Wurly." said Teen Ranger. "Take it easy, TR," Kid Buck said. "We are *going* to get freebies out of this! I'll be fucked if we don't!" "What seems to be the problem, exactly?" the Intruder asked the manager. In reply, the manager uncurled his chubby fist to reveal a small, crumpled, grubby piece of paper. "What's this?" Nocturnal Intruder whisked the paper into his own grasp. With lightning-fast reflexes, he had unfolded it in a flash and began a careful study. "Hmm. Why. It's a coupon... or voucher, if you will, for a free Beach-Ball Burger. What...?" "That's the thing!" exclaimed the manager. "Every single one of these... erm... gentlemen has a coupon exactly the same! And they're queuing-up to take advantage of a recent special offer!" "Well?" "There can't possibly be that many free coupons! We don't have enough Beach-Ball Burgers!" Nocturnal Intruder sniffed the voucher, and under his hood, his brow creased with concern. "This free burger coupon is a forgery, very probably! What do you think, Titan Man?" he said as he passed it over. "It looks like a cheap, tricked-up job on a dot-matrix," Titan Man said soberly. "A forgery all-right! A swindle! To illicitly obtain free goods by way of deceit! In this case -- Burgers!" A mighty, leather-gauntleted fist smacked hard into an open leather palm. "Von Heckle!!! I knew it!!!" cursed the Nocturnal Intruder. "Of all the foul schemes!!!" A white-latexed fist smacked into a similarly latexed palm. "Of all the foul schemes!!!" said Teen Ranger. "Superheroes!!! Swing into action!!!" came the call from NOCTURNAL INTRUDER! And the fray began! Five costumed superheroes dashed toward their enemy, capes billowing. They spread out to engage their evil foe. "Look out! It's the superheroes!" Two darkly-clothed crooks charged at NOCTURNAL INTRUDER, one from each side. With one hand for each, the Intruder hoisted them simultaneously over his shoulders and sent them flying into the wall where they crumpled to the floor, unconscious. The horde of attacking crooks subsequently learned their lesson, and only confronted any particular superhero one at a time. TITAN MAN threw a massive, sidewinding punch to the head of an assailant, and the crook slumped to the floor, unconscious. Next, he delivered a bone-crushing karate-kick and felled another felon, who flew through the air and landed metres away, unconscious. Meanwhile, THE WRANGLER took on another black-cloaked attacker. A craggy, evilly formed face collided with his boulder-sized fist, creating shock-waves. The crook was hurled backwards over the counter of MacBeachBallBurger and into the DrippyWhip machine where he lay sprawled, small birds tweeting and circling about his head, and a stream of strawberry DrippyWhip pouring into the slack mouth of the unconscious felon. KID BUCK and TEEN RANGER were similarly engaged! "LOOK OUT, TR!!!" yelled the Kid as he spiral-kicked an oncoming crim. Another crook rushed Teen Ranger from the side, and was met with the rubbery sole of a basketball-boot in the chest... ***** Unless the reader is an aficionado of this sort of action scene, then the reader will be growing bored, for the reader may find many similar events occurring within the pages of a number of similarly themed articles of literature. But our COSTUMED SUPERHEROES seek to provide slightly different entertainments and the reader is now familiar enough with their physical exploits in the face of evil -- as they twirl and kick, creating mayhem and chaos, with a KAPOW here and a CRUNCH there, and an intricately drawn and tightly-muscled thigh at full strain... Anyway, let the reader now drift omnipotently outside to the street, where other vehicles are assembling. Read on! ***** Clarence Charmichael, reporter for the *City Hub News*, jumped out from his beaten-up old Toyota. "Holy Cow! There's one mighty kerfuffle going on in there!" He thought to himself as he eagerly surveyed the array of dash-lines and block-lettered `thumps' emerging from the fibreglass-wrought facade of MacBeachBallBurger. "I must get my pencil and notebook! There's a story here! Aha! There's the VEHICLE INTRUDER! The T-MOBILE! And the WRANGLE-TRUCK! The Superheroes! Great! Front page! Lucky I heard all about it on my police radio scanner," he thoughtfully explained in his head. He dashed inside licking his pencil, notebook at the ready, just in time to see KID BUCK sliding in his winged, bright-polished yellow boots across the floor. The reporter had arrived just at the point when the colourfully-attired young superhero had become overwhelmed by crooks. A greasy fist had grabbed the small, blue Speedo worn by the Kid, scrunching it and jerking it into his ass-crack, pulling the scrabbling superhero forward. Another crook had grasped a handful of the Kid Buck's blue-and-yellow dyed hair, dragging him the other way. Overcome, the Buck went down, and landed on the hard cheeks of his tight rump. "Oh!" thought Clarence Charmichael. "I can see the story now! CROOKS PUT KID BUCK ON BUTT! COSTUMED SUPERHERO LANDS WITH THUMP ON RUMP!" Just then, the Speedo snapped, and the blue nylon article was whisked away. But the intrepid young superhero was not to be defeated! The winged yellow boots kicked out from the floor and rendered two crooks immediately unconscious! Springing to his feet in a single, flowing movement, Kid Buck punched another, and with teeth gritted and unleashed cock swinging, he tightened his fists. The yellow PVC gauntlets, with streamers flying, searched for another chin to crack. "Fantastic!" Clarence Charmichael thought to himself as he scribbled furiously. "SUPERHERO SPEEDO SNATCHED FROM SIDEKICK'S HAUNCH! A Century City hero was today `unmasked' in a villainous act! The meagre costume of KID BUCK was ripped from the superhero's lithe waist by an unknown assailant, and the fine young crime-buster was left only with his cute little eye-mask, his silken cape, and his yellow boots and ridiculous gloves with plastic streamers! Kid Buck's cock was seen to be TEN INCHES LONG, although his length and girth had long been visible anyway, due to the TIGHT BREVITY of his superhero bikini -- which had previously FOLDED and GATHERED about the slippery loin of the active, teenaged superhero sidekick! The light Speedo Racer has so far not been recovered, and many citizens of Century City will miss the ADROIT SWIFTNESS with which the nippy little brief slipped into that hard-clenched cleft -- although other citizens are already welcoming the innovation of a NAKED SUPERHERO -- an attraction of which no other city can boast..." "Hang on," thought Clarence Charmichael. "I may be getting ahead of myself." By now, the MacBeachBallBurger melee was subsiding, and the few crooks who were not lying about unconscious were making their escape. Kid Buck bounded over the counter and past the DrippyWhip, giving chase to a fleeing, darkly-cloaked figure who still angrily clutched an unused burger-coupon forgery. "This one won't get away!" he thought as he swept through the stainless-steel kitchen. Pimply-faced employees in their MacBeachBallBurger uniforms saw only a flash of yellow-blue cape as the speedy superhero flew past. Huddled on the floor in fear, their eyes widened in surprise as the various crooks scattered and the determined Kid Buck disappeared through the back entrance. "Did you see his dick!?" said one pasty-faced youth. "I got it on my camera-phone!" said another. Winged yellow boots hit the dirty asphalt of the back lane outside MacBeachBallBurger. The stink of fast-food rose from a nearby DumpMaster, and the tail of a black trench-coat vanished around a corner. With his eyes narrowed in concentration and breathing hard, Kid Buck gave chase. His weighty male-meat slapped against well-muscled thighs, flaying side to side with the smooth rhythm of the outstretched legs. The rampaging teenaged typhoon zoomed off in a blur, his cape fluttering straight out behind. Within moments he had followed the fleeing, fleet-footed felon around several shadowy corners and onto the busy Parkway. The crook was fast. He had obviously tried to blend into the crowded sidewalk, but was crash-tackled by the young superhero who whizzed through the air horizontally, cape snapping and flapping. The evil doer was slammed to the ground right in front of the MacBeachBallBurger entrance -- the very establishment he had tried to swindle with his faked coupon! "Here's another one who won't be taking part in any more con-tricks!" the puffing Kid Buck said as he hauled the grimacing crook to his feet by the scruff of his neck. The police had arrived. Nocturnal Intruder, Titan Man and the other superheroes were debriefing on the sidewalk. Flashbulbs popped. "Awesome!" Teen Ranger exclaimed, the glare of numerous camera-flashes momentarily lighting the sheen of his sweat-slick bare skin. "Now, where's our free fuckin' burgers!?" "Well done, boy!" Nocturnal Intruder said to an out-of-breath but pleased Kid Buck. "You can add him to the pile!" The Intruder indicated a heap of unconscious baddies stacked on the steps of MacBeachBallBurger. "No doubt he'll enjoy the hospitality of his new hosts -- *the police*!" Clarence Charmichael, reporter for the *City Hub News,* scribbled furiously in his notebook. "Nocturnal Intruder, Sir?" he shouted, gesturing with his pencil. "Was this a co-ordinated attack on the integrity of Century City's hamburger franchises?" "Is this the work of a criminal mastermind?" yelled another reporter. "Will the Costumed Superheroes Club now consider reinforcing all sidekicks' superhero bikini briefs with tensile elastic?" shouted Sally Siddlespoon from the *Daily Cool.* "Miss Siddlespoon... ladies... gentlemen..." The Intruder said, making calming motions with his leather-gloved hands. "The Superheroes will analyse all data from the aftermath of this heinous crime. Until then, we will not have all the facts at our disposal. For the moment, kindly direct all your enquiries to the SpinMeister, our public relations manager, if you can get him on the phone. I never can." ***** Dear reader, can things be getting out of hand for the Costumed Superheroes? Will the SpinMeister be able to field all these frantic inquiries? Now, let it be known that the "SpinMeister" is actually a clever ruse to throw the Century City press corps off the scent of the secret work of the Superheroes. No "SpinMeister" actually exists! Or if he does, he is nothing but a lonely fax-machine in the basement of Superheroes Headquarters. "When will Kid Buck be tailored with a new superhero-Speedo?" will be among the questions buzzing through the wires. One clever reporter, however, has neatly obtained an exclusive article pertaining to this most interesting subject! Now read on! ***** Clarence Charmichael fingered the small piece of ruined nylon in his pocket. It slithered and zipped through his fingers with a fine, electric tingle. The sweat-stained and bare-butted Kid Buck, when questioned as to its whereabouts, had made several attempts at a stuttering reply before retreating reluctantly to the front seat of the VEHICLE INTRUDER. Charmichael drew short, shallow breaths with the knowledge of his most newsworthy secret! *snip* "BUCK MISPLACES BIKINI IN MACBEACHBALLBURGER BUST! "EXCLUSIVE PICTURES OF FAMOUS KID BUCK SPEEDO! "The massive co-ordinated swindle of the Sheertown MacBeachBallBurger franchise today was notable not only for its audacity and unprecedented scale, but also for the rude theft of the Kid Buck Speedo! The brave superhero, whilst battling legions of crooks on the MacBeachBallBurger premises, had the single costume-article containing his modesty RIPPED from his WHIP-THIN LOIN! The courageous Kid continued to ker-bash crooks without the benefit of his small superhero pant! "Now, the *City Hub News* offers exclusive pictures of the renowned race-swimmer worn by superhero KID BUCK! Placed beside a normal office ruler, readers can see for themselves the distinctive smallness of its cut. Notice also, the snapped waistband and the stretched, twisted blue nylon which formerly encircled the wiggling hips of one of Century City's most popular superheroes. The *City Hub News* engaged a series of forensic experts to advise its readers of every aspect of the tiny Speedo! "It's two sizes too small for a lad such as Kid Buck," said Doctor Scott Dillon of Century City University as he held the busted bikini up to a light-bulb. "One can clearly see how the fabric is coiled and screwed about the sides and ass-section, a result, no doubt, of the many active exploits engaged upon by its most vigorous wearer. And if one examines closely, one can make out a concave distortion -- a distendation, if you will -- on the stitched letters `K I D B U C K' across the front-packet." "Yes," Doctor Dillon added thoughtfully. "This Speedo exhibits the typical distress of a garment habitually hiked-up between two tight butt-cheeks, and Kid Buck clearly carried his penis to the left. This can be determined by the splayed micro-fibres about the slightly more delineated word `BUCK.' "But Doctor Dillon was not the only authority employed by the *City Hub News* to study this rare item! "I'm an expert in vapour technology," said Professor Edel Gold. "Specialising in odours and fragrances -- from the Century City University's Faculty of Jock-Sniffing. I specialise in synthetic-based athletic garments worn by young males. What's unusual and very interesting about this article is that unlike most nylon-based Speedo swimmers, it is not neutralised by its chemical environment. That is to say, it has not been subjected to fluid-chlorine, and worn by the mostly land-based superhero, it retains a full bouquet of the juices and emissions of the functioning young stud. In my particular field, it is very difficult indeed to obtain such a specimen outside the cotton and lycra departments and the general locker-room sciences." "Holding the blue-and-yellow garment closely to his be-spectacled face, Professor Gold continued; "firstly, there is seen a number of subtle stains about the pouch. This is normal. Undoubtedly there will be a salt-based infusion of cock-dribble, and possibly, a full ejaculation of the healthy young stud into his athletic garment -- a spouting gush of cum... yes! There it is! A strong, dank, musky smell! Unmistakable! The young buck came fully! And recently, too! "Now, let us turn to the rearward component, where we find a somewhat unusual and exiting discovery! This section has clearly been pulled hard into the tightest of crevices -- a place most interesting to scientists such as myself -- and the textile structures exhibit all the signs of being pinched and compressed between the hard rump-muscles of a firm young athlete! Fascinating! Fully inculcated with a maturity of jock-sweat, the perfume is a perfect symphony -- a finely balanced crescendo featuring all the bodily emissions of the prime, tensed ass-crack!" "And we think we'll leave you there, Professor. Readers of the *City Hub News* will be interested to know that the Kid Buck Speedo made the rounds of the office and also made its inevitable way to the photocopier. "The blue Speedo worn by Kid Buck carries on a tradition of bare-legged superheroes. For some unknown reason, tight hot-pants or bikini briefs are the costume-of-choice for many tough, crime-fighting comic-book do-gooders -- and especially the nimble sidekick. However, no superhero has thus far been known to wear such a revealing costume as Century City's own Kid Buck, who helps keep our streets safe and our houses and businesses secure. Citizens of Century City can slumber in ease, in the knowledge that KID BUCK -- with cock bouncing and butt-cheeks rippling -- is diligently pounding the streets wearing a Speedo or not -- along with the other members of the COSTUMED SUPERHEROES! Clarence Charmichael *snip* "Nice going, Kid!" said NOCTURNAL INTRUDER as he folded the paper. "You're the star of that little MacBeachBallBurger exploit. Have you seen the photos? There's some here from the scene. And Mayor Vilkinsword has made a special comment about your bravery on page two!" "Aw, shit!" said Kid Buck, sulkingly. "I wish it didn't turn out the way it did! If only my jock didn't snap off! There'd be photos of me with Mayor Vilkinsword and the Chief of Police!" "Best you wear a bright, clean Speedo on every patrol from now on!" intoned the Intruder darkly. "The press will be taking special notice, and I don't want to feed their interest by applying any sharp, red whip-stripes across the tight little rump of my famous young sidekick!" "Mmph..." said Teen Ranger as the uncomfortably shifting Kid Buck huffed. "I knocked out just as many baddies as KB, almost, and *my* picture didn't get in the paper! From now on, I'm hoiking my Speedo right up! Hey, Titan Man! I *told* you I wanted my belly-button pierced! Just like Kid Buck!" "Quit whining, boy," said the Titan cheerfully. "You should be proud of yourself. Just remember it was you who was featured in *Teen Girly Style* last month. Are you sure you want your racer ripped off in front of all those teenage girls? Right now, everybody from Mayor Vilkinsword to the Parkway winos -- even Captain Von Heckle himself -- will be perusing those pictures of Kid Buck's..." "At least you weren't hog-tied the whole time in the back of the WRANGLE-TRUCK," said Boy Ryder to the sniffling Ranger. "And miss the whole thing like I did! I would have gladly busted off my tight, denim cut-offs for a piece of the action! Those baddies better beware of Boy Ryder next time!" "How come *I* never get to be tied-up in the back of the Wrangle-Truck?" Teen Ranger continued to bleat. "*He* gets to be tied-up! And Kid Buck gets his picture taken and loses his Speedo and chases a crook right in front of Mayor Vilkinsword and he can't help everyone seeing his cock and..." "Ahem. That's probably quite enough," Nocturnal Intruder said. "The subject of the Kid's cock should only be further pursued in a scene where that instrument is a primary operative character. Wouldn't you agree, Kid Buckeroo?" The Intruder reached over and prodded the Kid's belly. The sidekick sniffed the air sharply and jerked. His brand-new blue Speedo slipped into his crack as it bended and strained. ***** Here, the discerning reader will flick forward a few pages, for he is interested in plot progression, and this is something in short supply. But for the reader curious of the subtleties of character development... well, know that later on, Kid Buck bends over, as ordered, legs wide apart, and grips his ankles. His feet are widely placed and his mop of yellow-blue hair flops to the floor. His winking hole is presented and he sees the Intruder's boots. The much-discussed Speedo is discarded. The Nocturnal Intruder is, in truth, a little pissed-off, for the public, naked shenanigans of the sidekick have diverted the story from its intended path. He is not resentful of the press attention -- just the causal silliness. Read on! ***** Nocturnal Intruder unsheathed a hand from its leather gauntlet, and swiped the glove hard against the Kid Buck's upstanding buttock with a loud, playful *smack*. "Yeeoow!!!" went the Kid in surprise. The bent-over sidekick shuddered and swayed, but remained obediently folded, firmly gripping his ankles. "Good job today, boy. You ran like a gazelle, chasing down that crook." "All part of the job description, Sir." A hand slathered in cool grease wiped liberally in the crack, and the Kid sucked sharply as a finger found his hole and penetrated. It wiggled in deep, probing. "Here's the other part of your job description, lad." "Aaaah...!" "Steady, boy." The Intruder ran a lube-smeared hand over one of the finely-toned cheeks and felt the small backside squirm slightly as the boy-sidekick settled his hardened cock against his belly. The wet finger still wormed and explored. "Aaaah...! Aaaah...!" "After this, I want the vehicle washed, sparkle-arkle-arkling, boy." "Aaaah...!" "Understand?" "Yes, Sir..." "How?" "Sparkle-arkle-arkling, Sir!" Kid Buck gulped. He felt a nudge of hard flesh against his hole. Then, it pushed. His puckering rim parted and the massive pole of meat slowly, smoothly made its first thrust. He made a series of open-mouthed, quavering *Ahs*, trilling softly and sweetly. The Intruder withdrew and gently moved again, sliding and plunging slowly. The Buck removed a hand from his ankle and encircled his own throbbing cock with his fingers. "*Leave it, Boy*!" "Ah!... Yes, Sir!... Ah!..." "You'll come when it's good and healthy to do so!" "... Ah...! Ah...! Ah...! Y...y...y...yessir!" The warbling sidekick jerked and straightened, working his waggling backside onto the monster superhero meat-pole. The metal dog-tags at his belly-piercing jingled, and he reached around, clutching behind at the colossal form of the Nocturnal Intruder, drawing-up his knees and allowing the impaling super-cock to carry his weight entirely. "Oh God!... Nocturnal Intruder...! I'm gonna come!..." With a slippery hand, the Nocturnal One tweaked the pert nipple which formed a punctuation-point between the colourfully inked letters `K' and `B' on the Kid's rounded breast-muscle, and sure enough, the panting sidekick spurted to the ceiling. At the same time, the Intruder himself flowed with a mighty, draining burst into the warm, oily cavity which squirmed and gripped him. Together, groaning, they slumped. The Buck's greasy naked body slithered and turned, and the Nocturnal Intruder parted a long fringe of matted, blue-yellow hair, and gently kissed soft, trembling lips. * CAPTAIN VON HECKLE delivered a swingeing blow to the table-top with his leather riding-crop. "THIS IS A CONFOUNDED FAILURE OF NO UNCERTAIN TYPE!" he shouted in fury. The other crooks in the grimy den recoiled in fear. "I masterminded almost the perfect crime! Forged hamburger coupons! Downloaded straight from the World-Wide-Inter-Web! And what do you worthless legions of gutter-trash deliver me!? Twelve lousy MacBeachBallBurgers!!! Not even enough for a MacBeachBallMacFamilyJumboMeal!!!" "Jiming Jumpjacks!" said the crook, Whipper. "Kid Buck and Teen Ranger ate more than that in free giveaways after they helped foil the caper!" "TEEN RANGER!!!" shrieked the enraged Captain as he brought his whip down hard again. "That infuriating jumping-bean is the most irritating of all the Costumed Superheroes!!! Followed closely by the insufferable wholesomeness of KID BUCK!!! I don't know what it is about that idiotic crime-busting delinquent, but the thought of my carefully masterminded plan being thwarted by the likes of the pink-suited punker is INTOLERABLE!!!" The whip came down again. THWACK! "Those stupid pink basketball shoes...!!!" THWACK! "Those pink socks...!!!" THWACK! "And that glazed, vacant expression he always has!!! It's enough to drive one APOPLECTIC!!!" "I think it's supposed to be electric-purple," said one criminal, referring to the costume of Teen Ranger. "Really?" said another. "I always thought lavender." "Salmon." "ENOUGH!!!" the Captain screeched. "It's obvious that no further criminal activity can be masterminded in Century City without first obtaining the secrets of the Costumed Superheroes! I won't be satisfied until a sidekick is hostage in my torture dungeon -- with his balls tied to my antique Taiwanese dancing-rack!!! Now listen carefully you gang of useless sluggards and dumb-sculls! Here is my plan..." ***** Dear reader; one can only gasp in trepidation at the thought of Captain Von Heckle's secret torture dungeon, featuring an antique Taiwanese dancing-rack! What would this evil device look like if one were to cast eyes upon it? Further, you the reader are allowed to know that the malevolent Captain also harbours a wicked team of experts in the use of the horrible device -- a duo of young Thai Twins, oiled and ready, and steeped in the ancient knowledge of *Shak Wao,* or `Expert Manipulation' -- a slow, exquisite practice useful for extracting secrets from the Oriental warrior-knights of the Thirteenth Century. The beastly tradition is complemented by *Sing Hi,* or `The Wailing of Extreme Misery,' favoured in the middle ages by quarrelsome warlords who wished to subject their prisoners to utmost distress and profound feelings of personal dissatisfaction. The repertoire of dreadful torture-rituals employed by the Captain and his team of Thai Twins also includes the vile *Wang Soc,* or `The Special Disappointment,' utilising a small, iron instrument of ornate but evil design, forged in the fire-pits of Ming-Dynasty Mongolia by the cruel Hill-Tribes. All of these arts, fearsome in their time, have survived in upmost secrecy and are available to the Evil Captain by *singular suggestions* made to him -- from devilishly-minded quarters! Meanwhile, the talented Teen Ranger -- with a belly full of MacBeachBallBurgers -- is making an intellectual study of an episode of `Thunderbirds.' Read on! ***** "Hey! Kid Buck! Have you ever noticed these are *puppets* on this show!? You can see their strings!" "It's nearly over! I want to watch `Dr. Who!'" A lightning-quick thrust was made for the remote-control -- but Teen Ranger tarried with a sizzling counter-strike. The black, plastic control twirled in the air as if in slow-motion. Millimetres from the ceiling of Superheroes HQ it spun, turning and turning, tumbling down to bounce off... the rubber hooded head of NOCTURNAL INTRUDER! Two sidekicks gasped in unison! "If it wasn't for the size of your respective man-packs in Speedos, I'd never believe you two fuckers were over eighteen!" the hooded one intoned darkly. "Turn it over to the news! *Now*!" said Titan Man. "Yeah, well," Teen Ranger sulked. "Maybe there's something in the news about Kid Buck and his cock!" ***** Well, well, well. And well, well, well, well, well! What next for the Costumed Superheroes? As we draw near the closure of this episode, it may be instructive to view one more scene. Now read on! It is exactly twelve hours later! ***** Teen Ranger rolled over, yawning. "Jumping Willikers!" he thought. "My head *kills*! I'm so thirsty!" A soft-skinned, warm body snoozed beside him in the bed. Kid Buck. He rolled the other way and bumped his nose into an unexpected shoulder-blade belonging to a third person. Not GoGo Girl, surely! He saw a shimmery green lace-up suit lying on the floor. SPARKY! "Yikes! A threesome! That must have been fun! If only I could remember any of it!" "Ohhhhh...!" he groaned. Where had they gone last night? Slowly, details formed in his aching brain. He remembered the Terrific Trio going to the basement nightclub *Cell-Block H,* where they had consumed unknown quantities of beer and multicoloured Lolly-Swizzle shots. There had been a celebration of some sort. Oh. That's right. All those crooks caught at the BallBeachBurger. He had been dancing on a 44-gallon drum. He remembered that. The brightly-coloured costumes had attracted much attention from the throng of leather cowboys and hairy studs in denim. Kid Buck had smoked a joint in the toilets. Teen Ranger could recall the feel of a meaty hand grappling with his balls through his Speedo. They had decided to show Sparky the town. Sidekick to ELECTRO MAN, SPARKY was one of the few Costumed Superheroes of Century City to actually posses a super-power. Accidentally exposed to a hand-generator in a prank-gone-wrong during his childhood, Sparky now had the ability to emit electric rays from his fingertips, and make zappy electric sparks and noises. "Well," thought Teen Ranger. "Sparky has his electric rays. Kid Buck has his common sense. What super-power do *I* have? Maybe I should connect a hand-generator to my cock!" At that thought, Teen Ranger became aware of the rigid state of that preoccupying organ. He began rubbing it on the sheets in a gentle rhythm. Then he remembered more. Sparky had jump-started the VEHICLE INTRUDER with his electrical power, and the threesome had used the Nocturnal One's Jaguar to transport them to their frolics. The Ranger stopped his penis-rubbing. What time was it? Somewhere, deep in the bowels of Superhero Headquarters, a door slammed. Hard. The booming voice of the NOCTURNAL INTRUDER rocked the concrete foundations. "BUCK!!! FRONT AND CENTRE!!! ***NOW, YOU FUCKER!!!***" thobyandover@y7mail.com