Date: Fri, 7 May 2010 17:59:34 -0700 (PDT)
From: Thoby Andover <thobyandover@y7mail.com>
Subject: Costumed Superheroes part 6

Copyright 2010 by the author
thobyandover@y7mail.com

www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com


***COSTUMED SUPERHEROES #7***

Captain Von Heckle squinted through his glinting monocle and pursed his
evil lips.  With his leather riding-crop under one arm, he reached with the
other to a rope pulley.  He drew slowly on the thick twine.  Wood creaked.
The machine of old, sweat-stained Taiwanese Teak was large enough to fill
most of the floor-space in the room, and its three sets of ropes and
pulleys extended to crude windlasses at the extremities of the stone
dungeon.  Near the centre, three revolving platters were set upon bearings
of antique wood, hewn from the rainforests of Taiwan in the
seventeen-hundreds.  As the rope moved through its heavy conveyors, one
platter squeaked and rotated.

"Still working.  Still an effective device," he intoned slowly, evilly.
"Not used since 1799 when King Apichart punished the son of his most senior
general, Boon-Me-Nam, for congressing with the King's daughter, Princess
Chao-Fah, after Royal Soup!"

A wooden-shuttered door flew open and a breathless underling entered.

"What is the meaning of this interruption?!" the Captain snapped, turning
to face the wretched minion.

"Captain Von Heckle, Sir..." the wrinkle-faced crook uttered, before his
eyes widened at the sight of the dark, Taiwanese wood, the strange network
of ropes and pulleys, and the three raised platters arranged in a line.
With a gulp, he looked in horror at the devilishly-designed apparatus.

"Well, man?!  What is it?!  Spit it out I say!" said the Captain.

"Captain, Sir!  We've just received a message from Whipper an' Trusty Joe
on the two-way-radio mobile phone!  They've captured Kid Buck!"

"Whaat?!!!"

"They've captured Kid Buck, Sir!  They're on their way here now!"

Von Heckle's eyes narrowed with wicked intent, and a repulsive smile drew
itself on his thick face.

"Kid... *Buck*..." he said thoughtfully.  And then after a pause; "Prepare
the display-cage."

"Y, yessir!" the quivering minion said as he departed.

Captain Von Heckle laid his riding-crop across his leather-gloved hand.  He
turned again to face two other occupants of the room.  Indistinguishable
from each other and clad only in loincloths, a pair of slim young Thai boys
stood side by side, expressionless.

"Wasan!  Wasi!  Oil the machine!... And oil *yourselves*!  Soon, my
pretties, you will be presented with a subject for your remarkable skills!"

Unhurried and still without expression, the twins left the room, leaving
Von Heckle to himself and his antique contraption.

"Excellent!... *Eeeeeeexcellent!*" he said as he sensuously fingered the
rope.  "Superhero sidekick Kid Buck -- now you are *mine*!"


***** Dear reader, this is not good.  It may be prudent at this juncture
-- as another chapter of the Superheroes opens -- to issue a warning.
The following account will contain depictions of a most explicit nature.
Hardened followers of the crook-catching crusaders -- get ready!!!  *****


COSTUMED SUPERHEROES #6!!!

***** Special author's note: Because no disrespect is intended toward the
Thai culture of Taiwan, historical aspects of that country's history used
in this story are completely true, and taken from the history books!  *****

"Yes, yes.  Do come in, Nocturnal Intruder," said Mayor Vilkinsword.  "I've
been expecting you."

"Thank you Mayor," the massive Intruder said as he ducked his head past the
oak doorframe and entered the book-lined office.  His mighty boots made the
polished floorboards creak and his bright, chromium codpiece shone under
the light from the old-fashioned green desk-lamp."

"I've been looking forward to this meeting.  Crime in Century City is a
rising tide.  Cigar?"

A box was offered.  The Intruder noticed the fine nail polish the Mayor
wore, and the cultured, graceful hands.

"Yes.  Thank you, Ma'am."

"I have these shipped from Japan.  That's where the finest cigars are made,
of course."

"Yes, of course."

"Nothing else seems to satisfy my urge for a good cloud of smoke.  One of
my weaknesses I'm afraid.  You'll have to forgive my breaking the
no-smoking indoors rule, extent in all council buildings.  Here, take a
seat."  Mayor Vilkinsword flicked a silver lighter shaped like a large
penis.  A long flame erupted from the eye.

"You'll have to forgive the rather vulgar tastes of the gift-giving clergy.
Bishop Cartwright brought it back from Rome.  When he saw it in the Vatican
souvenir-shop, he said he couldn't resist.  It's taken from a mould of
Valerio Rigodo, one of the major porn-stars over there.  Good Catholic boy,
of course.  Schooled by the Brothers of Saint Darren...

"Mayor, should we get down to business?"

"Yes, of course.  By the way, where's Kid Buck?"

"Oh, he's following along behind.  He won't be long.  Look.  I can track
him on my mobile phone."  The Nocturnal Intruder reached for one of the
pouches on his leather harness and retrieved his advanced communications
device.  "The Don of Doom invented a very small GPS, disguised as a
cock-ring.  It's pierced through the head."

"Nice," said the Mayor.

"That's odd," the Intruder said as he peered at the phone's screen,
puzzled.  "According to this, Kid Buck is heading away.  A *long* way
away."

"Well, surely he's chasing a crook," suggested Mayor Vilkinsword.

"Yes.  That's bound to be the case."  Nocturnal Intruder snapped his phone
shut and replaced in its pouch at his gigantic chest.

***** At this juncture it would be prudent to acquaint the reader with one
of Century City's outer destinations.  Quagmire-Downs Hamlet is a
picturesque little settlement, not yet engulfed by the sprawl of the
Century suburbs.  Established in the 1830s by prospectors eager for the
profits of the local shit-bogs which supplied a Victorian-era Century
City's methane market, it was eventually bypassed by the main railhead when
natural-gas reserves replaced sewerage and effluent-derived fuel for the
city's gas-candles.  Now, it is a tourist-spot, inhabited by jam-sellers
and financially driven by a few boutique turd-mines still supplying
old-timers and good-ol'-boys who refuse to convert their corrugated-iron
shanties to the new technologies.  You see, Quagmire-Downs lies atop the
main sewerage vein driven underground from the centre of Century City.
Little wonder, then, that visitors are welcomed with the signpost: "Welcome
to Quagmire-Downs Hamlet -- Shit-farming capital of the Century
Provinces."

Furthermore:

Five miles from this charming village, there lies a certain disused
methane-farm -- one of many around Quagmire-Downs -- with uprising
belch-stacks like silent fingers pointing to the sky, and clay-brick ovens,
their gaping mouths no longer fed with the effluent and bum-eggs of a
city's population.  Abandoned stool-wagons lie hither, their wheels broken.
Dear reader, here is to where a metropolis's craps came to generate
methane-power.  If Sir Walter Hobbe coiled off a bristling length of fudge
into his water-closet, it came here.  Similarly, old Gaspard the
shoe-tinker may have laid a cable in his outdoor dunny-can while reading
his Daily.  It also ended at this industrious place, bobbing alongside Sir
Hobbe's gruff-nut.  Aristocracy and pauper -- rich and poor --
rabbit-tods and rusty water -- hard, constipated butt-nuggets and brown
arse-slush -- there were no distinctions nor class barriers.  And it was
very advanced technology for the time!  If Mrs. Clegg took five minutes
from her busy schedule to pinch off a tortoise-head... anyway, look.  Why
are we visiting this deserted place?  Ah yes!  That's right!  A white van
has pulled up to the gates of the out-of-the-way methane-farm!  Observe!
*****

Kid Buck lay hog-tied in the rear, on his front, on the metal surface.  His
wrists and ankles were handcuffed together behind him and he "mmmfed"
angrily into a rag shoved into his mouth.  His tight, narrow rump-cheeks
clenched hard around the twisted cord of Speedo as he struggled.

"Nearly there, Kid-Buckeroo!" said Whipper, turning from the front seat.
"Ha!  Ha!  Capt'n Von Heckle's waitin' ter see ya!  Ahhh ha ha!"

"Mmmf!  Mmmf!" went the superhero Kid.  His head turned and a fiercely
angry glint shone from behind his stick-on eye-mask.  His yellow cape was
wrapped around his neck.

"Say, Whipper," said Trusty Joe.  "Sure is clever of Captain Von Heckle to
base his operations at this `ol shit-farm!  Nobody ever comes near here to
find his torture dungeon."

"Except it stinks!" Joe said.

"That's why nobody comes here," replied Whipper.

The vehicle halted, and the tressed-up Kid was carried by the two
evil-doing felons to an open mine-shaft.  Joe wrapped the cape about his
hand and Whipper grasped the rearward component of the superhero's Speedo,
pulling it hard and tight.

"Ooof!  This superhero shore is a heavy spunk-boy!"

With wrenching and straining and some struggling and wriggling from the
captured superhero, Kid Buck was hoisted on a small mechanical crane, slung
by chains at his cape and Speedo.  He swayed over the mine-shaft, dangling,
facing down into the dark lair, with his arms and legs folded behind him.

"Get ready, below!  Lowerin' away!" shouted Trusty Joe into the hole.

Clinking and clanking, the chain ran through its runners, dropping its
live, wiggling load into the blackness.  The rough, stone walls of the
shaft disappeared below, and a breeze of cool but foul-smelling air came
upwards.  Down and down, the suspended, swaying sidekick was lowered, his
neck stretched backwards by his tied-off cape, and his tortured Speedo at
breaking-point, knotted and elongated on its chain-hook and pulling hard
with every jerk and bounce.

Finally, there was dim light.  The Kid came to rest on a stone floor, front
down and with a pair of incredibly glossy black boots inches from his nose.
He twisted his head sideways to see upwards, the rag propping his mouth
wide open.

"Aha!" said a thick, guttural voice.  "The famous, do-gooding Kid Buck!
Well, young Master Buck - ***welcome to my secret torture dungeon!!!***"

*

"Where the fuck is Buck!?" Nocturnal Intruder asked angrily at Superheroes
Headquarters.

"Wasn't he with you?" said Titan Man.

"He was supposed to follow me to the Mayor's office.  I've got no idea
where he's got to!"

"Why don't you check his whereabouts on the miniature GPS in his cock?"

"I've already tried that," the Intruder said, exasperated.  "But it appears
to be *out of range*!"

"Hmmmmmmm..." said the Titan, a massive, gauntleted hand to his chin.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." said Teen Ranger.

"Any ideas, Teen Ranger?  You're his buddy.  Where's he got to?" Titan Man
asked.

"Yes," said Nocturnal Intruder.  "He's supposed to be grounded.  If you
incorrigible teenaged sidekicks have cooked-up some ridiculous scheme and
he's off somewhere at a video-game parlour, I'll whip both your backsides!"

"Perhaps he's been captured by Von Captain Heckle," said the Teen.  "And
he's tied-up in a secret underground chamber..."

"Oh *do* try to be sensible, Teen Ranger!" Titan Man said.  But Nocturnal
Intruder looked concerned.  In fact, he felt a small sensation of disquiet.

*

"Turn him over!" Von Heckle ordered, and Kid Buck was roughly inverted,
kneeling, his wrists and ankles locked under him at his back and his knees
spread wide.

Von Heckle's monocle glinted, and a very large hunting knife gleamed in the
low, electric light.  The yellow cape was sawn from its silver-soldered
chain, leaving a small, fluttering rag of silk.  The knife's point was
drawn -- slowly -- down the prickling skin of the Kid's rounded breast
muscle -- across the inked blue-and-yellow "KB" logo.  He stared
ferociously into the pudgy eyes of Von Heckle and tried to grunt as he felt
its sharp point twiddle his small, brown nipple which formed the dot
between the "K" and the "B."  It traced lower, and tingled the miniature
dog-tags at his ring-pierced belly-button.

"A colourfully and attractively adorned superhero!" Von Heckle sneered.
"And a handsome one!"

"Mmmf!!!"  said the Kid.

The silver knife flashed and was inserted under his Speedo brief at the
hip.  Ultra-sharp, it parted the nylon and a fine, meaty cock flopped
forward, its shiny ring silver and bright in the dim light.

"*Mmmmfff!!!*"

"I believe, young Kid Buck," Von Heckle said.  "That you are no longer
costumed -- and not anymore a superhero, particularly!  I see your
Nocturnal Intruder friend has had you be-jewelled through the head of your
rather obvious appendage!  A nice touch.  But not useful to you here, I'm
afraid."

Now, the Captain's riding-crop swizzled in the Kid's mop of yellow-and-blue
hair.  "Certainly, a fine young fellow.  A worthy guest of my commodious
facilities!"

The leather flap of the crop stroked the puffed cheeks, it brushed down the
surface of a rippling stomach, into the pelvis, and lifted the hefty
meat-schlong, testing its weight, bouncing it, and allowing it to flop
sideways to a straining thigh.

"Ludwig!  Strip away his eye-mask!"

The little black masked was ripped away, and two brown eyes glared
violently.

"Why, Captain!" said one of the crooks.  "You've just unmasked Kid Buck!"

"Yes, of course I have, you dolt!"

"He looks just the same as when he had the mask on!" another crook
observed.

"You fool!" the Captain snapped.  "Century City superheroes are not
backgrounded with secret identities!  It's immaterial!"

"Why not?" asked another.  "Aren't all superheroes supposed to have..."

"SILENCE!!!"

The riding crop was smacked with a sharp *crack* onto the Captain's
breeches.

"Get the pliers!  Cut away the neck-chain!"  (*snip*).  "Cut off those
things in his navel!"  (*snip*).  "And snip off that penis ring!... No
wait!  Leave it!  It's a convenient place for a dog-leash!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!  Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!"

The evil villain giggled and chortled.

"Take him to the display-cage!"

*

Excerpt from the City Hub News -- twenty-four hours later:

KID BUCK CAPTURED!!!

SUPERHERO TAKEN IN UNKNOWN CIRCUMSTANCES!!!

By-line: Clarence Charmichael.

It can now be conformed that earlier speculation that Century City
superhero KID BUCK was a prisoner of a criminal mastermind is true!!!  The
Speedo-wearing, law-enforcing crook-catcher and member of the COSTUMED
SUPERHEROES is hostage to a CRIMINAL GANG in an unknown location!!!  The
daring, dashing superhero youth was captured yesterday, somehow, and
information is scarce!

However, the offices of this newspaper have received undisputable evidence
that the courageous KID BUCK is now a captive, unbelievable as it may
sound!!!  A grimy, stained envelope was delivered, containing a sliced pair
of blue, slinky Speedo-briefs!!!  This is now the second broken example of
a Speedo plucked from the smooth, trim waist of the superhero Kid to make
its way to the desk of a reporter -- to be sniffed furtively when no one
else is looking!!!  The envelope also contained a FIENDISH note in
glued-on, haphazard font!  It said: "IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR KID BUCK, HE IS
NOW IN THE HANDS OF CAPTAIN VON HECKLE!!!  AND HE WON'T BE RETURNED UNLESS
ALL OF CENTURY CITY BENDS TO MY DEMANDS!!!  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA!!!"

Mayor Vilkinsword was asked for comment.  "This is undeniably an occasion
of great concern for all citizens of Century City," she said.  "We all hope
for the Kid Buck's safe return, and the Superheroes, myself, and the Police
Department are all working to get him back.  Speaking personally, I've had
Kid Buck in my office many times, his tight ass practically bouncing on the
polished surface of my oak desk, his fabulous abs flexing like rows of
billiard-balls in a bag, and his bulging front-pack sagging deliciously.
As we are all aware, Kid Buck continued to win the Mayor's Prize for Thighs
year after year -- where the most graceful and lithesome legs were
paraded and tested by me personally, and I felt those hard bands of muscle
as I slid my hands up and down over that warm, soft skin, judging them,
considering them, *tickling* them..."

And we'll have to stop you there, Mrs. Mayor.

Being captured is considered among the most well-known traditions of
superheroes everywhere, particularly among sidekicks.  Professor Edel Gold
of Century City University was asked to explain:

"The captured sidekick is considered, in narrative terms, to represent the
`damsel in distress,' if you will, who must be rescued in a modern
transformation of the mythological tradition.  It is also said to introduce
a form of underlying but titillating `bondage' to a sequential series of
events, which may or may not be depicted in literature, television, or film
-- or, in this case, real-life itself.  The evil villain, of course,
symbolises our own, inner dark-side, who wishes to be titillated, and who
personally *inflicts* the oppressive control -- perhaps with torture,
perhaps with nipple-clamps squeezed tightly, or perhaps with hot, dripping
candle-wax, dripped right onto the sidekick's cock-head.  We, the audience,
share in the horror, the fascination, but also the sinful *delight* in
hearing the howls of pain..."

Yeah.  Sure, Professor.

The other superheroes are said to be distraught.

*

NOCTURNAL INTRUDER slapped the newspaper to the table angrily.

"Damn!!!" he hissed icily.  "I've myself to blame for this!  Completely!"

"Ease yourself, Intruder," said TITAN MAN.  "It wasn't your fault!"

"What do you mean it wasn't my fault?!"  Nocturnal Intruder's pain was
palpable.  "It was me who recruited Kid Buck to the superhero business!  It
was me who made him follow along behind the Vehicle Intruder instead of
riding with me!"  The mighty Intruder held his head in his hands

"How were you to know?" Titan Man said.

Presently, the Intruder lifted a half-hooded but obviously sorrowful face.
"Where's Teen Ranger?"

"He's coming along shortly.  The Don of Doom is fitting him with a GPS."

"*Good!*" said the Intruder with some force and a mighty thump of his fist
on the table.  "We cannot allow any more sidekicks to fall into the
clutches of Von Heckle!  Why!  When I think of that villainous
wretch...!!!" his face now screwed in anger.  "How's the Ranger taking the
news?"

"Terribly.  He's beside himself.  Here he comes now."

Both massive superheroes turned to face the purple-suited sidekick in the
doorway.  The Teen's face was a picture of misery and anger.

"It's not fair!  It's not fair!  It's not fair!  It's not fair!  It's not
fair!  It's not fair!  It's not..."

"Easy, Ranger.  We know."

"But Kid Buck gets to be in the news *again*!  And Kid Buck gets captured
by the evilous villain and I *don't*!  And Kid Buck is probably tied-up in
the villainous *lair*!  And Kid Buck had his ass whipped just the other
*day*!  And I'm the one who has to stay here and polish rubber!  And it's
not fair!  And when am I going to get captured?  Huh?  And why won't a evil
villain mastermind catch *me* in a mastermind plan and make *me* the
hostage of a villainous evil villain!?"

Nocturnal Intruder's phone beeped.  "Take it easy, boy.  We know it's
hard," he said as he reached for his advanced communications device.

"Yes?  Nocturnal Intruder here."

"Ah.  Mayor Vilkinsword."

"Yes.  It's tough, but we're formulating a plan."

"Yes?"

"Yes.  The Kid would appreciate your concern."

"Yes.  He does have a fine, bouncy ass."

"What?  Yes.  His pectorals are firmly-formed and upstanding... and not too
prominent like a big muscle-man... and yes, like round little melons... and
yes, Mrs. Mayor.  I'm aware of the fine shape of Kid Buck's handsome
thighs..."

"It's just not *fair*!" Teen Ranger pouted, banging the table with his
white, latex glove.

"Where's your GPS, boy?" Titan Man asked.

"In my *nipple*!  And even that hurt!  And I wanted to be captured by Von
Captain *Heckle*!  Instead of having my nipple pierced by the Don!  Oh
yeah!"  Teen Ranger continued in a whiny, sing-song voice.  "I'm *Kid
Buck*!  And I've got my cock pierced with my *superhero* GPS!  And I've
been *captured*!  And everyone's paying attention to *me*!  And I've been
in the news *twice*!  And Nocturnal Intruder whips my *ass*!  And..."

"Shh!" said Nocturnal Intruder.  "Yes, Mrs. Mayor.  What was that?"

"A call?  To police headquarters?  Patched through to you?"

"You're patching it through here?  Okay.  Fine."

"Hello?  What?  Yes.  This is the Superheroes."

"What?  Who's this?"

"What?  Two what?  Two college-jocks?"

"What?  Cody Swingpop?"

"And what?  Mathew Cack?  Yes, yes!  You're two college-jocks!  Go on!"

"What?  *Who* was awoken with the sharp buzz of their alarm clock...?"

"........... "

"So you checked yourself out in the bathroom mirror?  Wait!  *Who* is the
one with the swimmer's bod?... Right!... So your buddy is the one with the
8" cock.  Right."

".... And then what?  Wait a minute.  Who's this Coach Evans?"

"Right."

"Right."

"Right."

"Yes.  Okay.  Right.  So this Coach Evans humiliated you by the pool with
some kind of bet."

"............ The bet was *what*?  You had to swim naked with your cock
dangling in the water..."

"Ahh!  Right!  So this was last week!  And your buddies... what?"

"Yes.  I see."

"Yes.  Thanks for the call."

"Yes... Yes... Yes.  I see.  Yes.  Thanks.  Yes.  Okay then.  Yes.  Thanks.
Goodbye."

Nocturnal Intruder snapped his phone shut.

"Gentlemen," he said to the silently expectant Titan Man and Teen Ranger.
"We have two witnesses to the capture of Kid Buck!"

*

"Aha!" said Captain Von Heckle, striding into the stone-walled,
electric-lit room, swishing his riding-crop with sharp `swooshes' through
the air.  "I see you are now somewhat acquainted with my display-cage!"

"You'll pay for your villainy, Von Heckle!  There's no doubt about that!"
said the Kid Buck, for indeed, he was now familiar with the cage.  He stood
outstretched on his toes, spreadeagled widely behind the silver bars,
secured by ankles and wrists.  His ribs and overlapping bands of
flank-muscles were outlined beneath his skin, and his belly sucked in and
out.  Limbs extended to the fullest, his thighs were strained to take his
weight on his toes -- and between, his silver-ringed meat dangled in a
forward-going arch.

"Ah!" chortled the Captain.  "Unfortunately, the universe -- this one, at
least -- is not nearly so justice-prone as you would wish.  For you see,
the evil mastermind is freely swishing his riding-crop and gloating, while
the poor young superhero -- the essence of all that is good and wholesome
-- is confined behind bars!  And my men here have no intention of making
you comfortable.  *My* only regret is that your ridiculous companion, Teen
Ranger, is not here with you!"

"Why, you rotten fiend!" said Kid Buck.  "Don't you mention Teen Ranger's
name!  He's worth a *hundred* crooks like you!"

"So it may be, my young Kid Buck.  So it may be.  Our discussions could
very well carry on in this vein for quite some time, but I have a desire to
hear you make other utterances."

"Why, you...!!!"  The Kid's brow furrowed inwards with anger.

"Yak!  Yak!" one of the grinning crooks laughed.  "I canna' believe we
caught the Kid fuckin' Buck!  It's a fuckin' beauty!  Lookee at `im!  We
nailed `im fellers!"  There was a small flurry of congratulatory high-fives
and back-slaps as the happy gang celebrated their catch.  A hand reached
through the front of the cage and went up a toned, inner thigh.  It quickly
felt into the rear crack and then rudely handled the suspended balls.  The
Kid struggled in his bonds.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"My men are looking forward to accommodating you here," said Von Heckle.
"But you haven't quite been introduced to *all* my subordinates!"

He turned and snapped his fingers.

"Wasi!  Wasan!"

The twins ran on their toes into the room with short steps, and stood
side-by-side.  Their brown, slim bodies gleamed with a high gloss.  Kid
Buck's eyes widened.

"...oh..." he breathed to himself.

A drawstring bag made from a tanned bull's scrotum swung in the Captain's
hand.  It held something heavy.  Meanwhile, Kid Buck's brown eyes were on
the twins, bright with surprise.  His pendulous member twitched --
straightened -- and rose.

"Haw!  Haw!  Haw!" the crooks guffawed.  "Lookee at the Kid Buck!  He's so
happy to be here!"

The Captain drew from the bag a device of black iron and hefted it in his
hand.  It was about the size of two men's fists, one atop the other, and
comprised ornate loops and rings, and small padlocks.  "Wang Soc!" he said
as he held it toward the twins.  One ran forward to collect it, and they
moved to the cage.

A slide-bolt clanked and the Thai boys entered.  Inside the cage, they
moved slickly and gracefully, and Kid Buck felt the warmth from their
smooth, glistening skin.  His cock bowed upwards and back, and flattened
hard into his belly.

"...*Ah*..." he said as the slippery, oiled hands were upon him.

A small finger was inserted into the GPS ring, then it tugged down.
Sharply.

"...Ah...!... Ah!...Ah!!!... **Ah!!!**"

"You will have to be made soft before the Wang Soc can be applied," said
the Captain.  "Difficult, I know..."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" the Kid cried loudly as his wang was wrenched against
its upward naturalness.  "FUCK!"

An iron ring was shuttered into place about the base of his scrotum and
shaft.  A small padlock snapped shut.  Oily, dexterous hands worked
quickly.  A rigid band of metal and more rings rattled as the device's
purpose became clear.  "Aaaah!!!  No!!!"

"You are now being fitted with `Wang Soc,' the Captain explained.  "Once it
is applied, you won't get it off.  This particular example was forged in
Ming-Dynasty Upper-Mongolia by the hill-tribes there."

"...Ugh!... Fuck it!..."

"Patience, my superhero Buck.  It was known as the `Special
Disappointment,' and it works slowly."

The spreadeagled prisoner's organ was now encaged in a heavy lacework of
metal.  He looked down and flicked his hips frantically, making the small
padlocks clatter.  His egg-shaped balls hung from underneath and swung with
his desperate movements.

"You are unable to complete an erection," said the Captain.  And indeed,
this was true.  The Kid's blue-veined flesh was swelling inside its locked
enclosure, and as it lurched upwards, the structure of the strange,
cage-like device lifted his testicles from behind and put impossible
pressure on these most vital parts.

"...Aaaaaaaargh!!!...Fuck!!!..."

"In time," continued Von Heckle.  "The `Special Disappointment becomes a
thing of utmost despair for its wearer.  Especially for a vital *young*
wearer in prime condition!"

"...Oh!... Fuck!... Von Heckle!... You Bastard!..."

"Devices of similar design can be found on the Inter-Net.  There are, for
example, plastic versions used by sports coaches..."

Kid Buck grunted as the heavy, ornately-decorated and ancient thing swung
from his male-organ.  Inside it, his purple flesh rose and strained --
and lowered in abject frustration.  The end of it was embellished with the
iron-forged head of a dragon shedding tears.

*

"Our website, `www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com,' is completely
inundated with traffic," the Don of Doom said.  "The bandwidth of
`www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com' is stretched to breaking point.  I'm
not sure whether any other crisis has stimulated such a response.  Of
course, there's the usual sordid messages from unsavoury quarters, not
worthy of mention.  But even that's increased, straining our servers."  The
Don of Doom hunched over a glowing computer-monitor in Superhero
Headquarters.

"We're not worried about `www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com' right now,"
said Nocturnal Intruder.  "The website is the least of our worries.  We've
just received vital information from two college-jocks about Kid Buck!"

"But my special page was just about to go up on
www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com!"  Teen Ranger wailed.  "With pictures
of me!  And how I busted the gang of video-game pirates!"

"Teen Ranger!  Take a break, will you!?"  Titan Man growled.  "Kid Buck's
everyone's concern now!"

"Oh *fuck* Kid Buck!"  The flouncing Teen sulked, kicking the table-leg.

"Shush!  Listen!" Nocturnal Intruder impatiently snapped.  "The
college-jocks were able to note-down the licence-plate number of the
vehicle with which the Buck was captured.  We've run that number through
the central database connecting the Century City news services with
www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com.  Darken the lights, professor!
Everybody, look!"

A special, highly advanced presentation was projected onto a screen.

*** "CITY HUB NEWS (Twelve months previous) By-line: Clarence Charmichael

MUSEUM HEIST BAFFLES CITY DETECTIVES!

INEXPLICABLE ROBBERY FOILS SECURITY, POLICE, SUPERHEROES!

The CENTURY CITY MUSEUM of EROTIC TORTURE was ROBBED last night of some of
its most SIGNIFICANT EXHIBITS!!!  The POLICE and the COSTUMED SUPERHEROES
have been UNABLE to determine the IDENTITY of who the thieves WERE!!!  The
CULTURED CIRCLES of Century City's TOP 400 citizens is said to be
DISTRAUGHT at the loss!!!

Said Museum Curator Doctor Tristram Tickletouch; "This is a dreadful
deficit.  Century City's contribution to the preservation of culture and
history has been irreparably damaged!  Unless the valuable artefacts can be
returned!"  ***

"I remember this!" said Lady Lassoo.  "No one ever found out who robbed the
Century City Museum of Erotic Torture!"

"The only museum of its kind in the land," said Electro Man.

"Keep reading," said Nocturnal Intruder.  All eyes returned to the screen.

*** "Among the stolen relics was a priceless, Ming-Dynasty, Upper-Mongolian
cocklock, the only known example recovered from the ancient, Hill-Tribe
civilizations.  Also, a set of 1970s Electro-Stim devices -- highly
advanced for the time -- still complete and still in its original foam
and slide-box cardboard-packing with pictures of wild-eyed female models
with fluffy, Farah Fawcett hair and turtle-neck sweaters, as if the only
thing they wanted for Christmas was a vibrating Electro-Stim and not a
hard, pumping cock from a real man and a tit-jiggling good time!"  ***

"Hmmmm..." said Electro Man.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm..." said Lady Lassoo.


*** "But most notably of all," continued the City Hub News on the screen.
"There is missing the Museum's centrepiece of historical erotic torture
-- a sixteenth-century Taiwanese dancing-rack, stolen from its Perspex
security enclosure, its motion-sensing alarm-system disabled!  Hordes of
visiting schoolchildren to the Museum will now be tragically disappointed
not to be able to activate the antique dancing-rack with Doctor
Tickletouch's newly installed interactive and educational system of
motor-driven pulleys.  `Horace,' the flexible dancing mannequin with
universal-jointed knees and waist was left sprawled in the otherwise empty
display case.  Nine-year-old Trixie Jones was one of the disheartened
schoolchildren to arrive at the Museum today -- only to find crime-scene
tape and broken glass in place of the antique Taiwanese dancing-rack!

"We were supposed to be doing a project on erotic Oriental tortures," said
Trixie, in pigtails and with a Justin Bieber lunchbox.  "And Miss
Winterbottom had given us a question-and-answer sheet all about the
dancing-rack!  It's fucked!"

The antique Taiwanese dancing-rack was commissioned by King Apichart of the
Middle-Dynasty for the amusements of his Royal Court, and made its way to
Century City in 1921 when respected anthropologist Sir Wendel Smallwood..."
***

"Just what is the point of all this?" asked Titan Man.

"The point is," said Nocturnal Intruder.  "The only clue to that crime one
year ago was a sighting of a vehicle at the scene -- and a licence-plate
number!"

"A licence plate-number?  You don't say...!?"

"Yes!  The same licence-plate number that was seen in the Kid Buck
kidnapping!"

"Von Heckle!" exclaimed Electro Man.

"It makes sense!" said Titan Man, slapping a fist into an open palm.  "The
Mongolian cocklock!  The 1970s Vibra-Stim collection!  The antique
Taiwanese dancing-rack!  And Kid Buck!"

"Right now," intoned Nocturnal Intruder.  "Von Heckle could be shackling
the Kid's genitals into the cocklock -- tingulating him with Vibra-Stim
technology -- and tying his testicles to the dancing-rack!"

"Oh golly!" said Teen Ranger.  He quickly adjusted his Speedo.

***** It may be prudent at this juncture to leave-off from the tribulations
and focus of the main part of the Superheroes, for surely the reader has
heard enough of the torture of Kid Buck, and there will be plenty of that
left over for the next episode.  And no doubt it will be documented in full
at www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com.  Consider now a delicate and
intimate interaction between two lesser-known superheroes.  Read on!  *****

"This is a Wifi spot!" said SPARKY.  "I can feel my fingers tingling.
Quick.  Get out your Inter-Net computer and download the latest hits from
pop-sensation Justin Bieber!"

"Fantastic!" said GOGO GIRL.  The two young superheroes sat close together
on the steps of MacBeachBallBurger, peering intently at GoGo Girl's pink
laptop as a data-intensive musical feast spiralled from the airwaves into
the wireless-enabled machine.

"GoGo Girl," said Sparky as they waited for the little line to go across.
"It's been so strange lately with the Superheroes.  This business of Kid
Buck being captured has everyone on edge.  Electro Man's been acting
funny."

"He's bound to be worried, Sparky.  It might have been you who was
captured."

"No.  I mean he's been acting *funny* funny.  You know?"

"GoGo Girl sighed.  "I think I know what you mean.  Lady Lassoo's been all
kind of... *weird*."

"What do you think could be going on?"

"I don't know, Sparky."

There was a pause.  Then Sparky said; "I've always looked up to Kid Buck.
But he spends so much time with Teen Ranger.  And Teen Ranger can be
so... oh I don't know..."

"He's so *annoying*!" said GoGo Girl.

"Yes!"

There was another pause.

"GoGo Girl?"

"What, Sparky?"

"I've never told anyone this before, but..."

"What?"

"I think I might be into... *girls*"

"Oh, *Sparky*!"

The two consent-aged super-kids met each other with their eyes.

*****

Dear reader!  The Costumed Superheroes Club of Century City has broken
controversial new ground again!  A *heterosexual* superhero!  Is *that* was
this is about?  As Sparky -- in his shiny green hotpants and vest --
and GoGo Girl -- in her red, thong-backed one-piece -- stare
sickeningly at each other on the steps of MacBeachBallBurger, it is time to
think about whether the series has `jumped-shark,' as it were.  Is Sparky
the `Scrappy-Doo' of the Costumed Superheroes?  The `Cousin Oliver?'  We
hope the producers get back to the traditional sexual tensions of Teen
Ranger and Kid Buck soon!  We *hope*!

*****

thobyandover@y7mail.com

www.costumedsuperheroes.blogspot.com