Date: Thu, 08 Jan 2004 01:55:34 +0100
From: Warren Mason <sweetbottom@eudoramail.com>
Subject: in.florida.jail, Installment #5

after that night with Bill Washington I never had any more sexual contact
with Nelson or Torres. I have to admit that when they didn't come for me
the next night I thought it was Bill and as a result I gave myself
completely to him. I felt so relieved that I wanted to mark my gratitude in
the eyes of others. I know that some of this can take on an unreal
texture...but if you don't think this and much much more happens, then you
have never been in one of these places.  It is especially so in some states
and during certain periods of time. Later when I was with this lawyer who
got me out he told me some interesting tales which I will share as I go
along. In any case, all of this happened pretty much as I say. I have left
out some sex and I have missed defining the emotional and physical pleasure
and release, the personality transformation and other things because words
have their limitations. People have asked me for greater detail. They have
asked to hear certain elements. Some like it rough and some rough is coming
but I can only tell what was. It is important to me not to make anything
up. this is intended as a catharsis. I've gone some long years now without
this and it is returning on me now because I never followed it all the way
out. I am hoping that writing this will inspire me, while my body is still
pretty nice and while I still have some youth in my heart and my eyes, to
find someone who will make her dance that dance complete inside of me.

I know some things about what happens to a man when his female nature
awakens. Mine has done so due to reincarnative movement through time and
through drugs and through the vacilations of the kundalini. the kiss of the
spider woman is a real thing. And in this world in which we live, the
reverse kundalini, which turns the anal region into an active pussy is also
a real thing. Due to the pull of materialism it is a real challenge for
those of us who, through effort, through aspiration, through yoga, through
whatever, have awakened her within and who must then tame her...in order to
dance in the higher realms. this often necessitates getting fucked in the
lower regions. So be it. Enough with my philosophizing....though it is
deadly pertinent...on with the story.

The next day I woke up and my ass did hurt. It wasn't grevious. It was just
very sore. I made a solution of soap and cocaine and pushed it with my
finger as far into my ass as I could get. I did this several times to get
all areas. I may have taken too much this way and I got really high,
suffice to say, there was no pain either.

In the afternoon Nelson came by to tell me that I had a visitor. I followed
him through the various halls into a private room. A black man in a suit
waited for me. He looked a great deal like Martin Luther King, strangely
enough, quite tall, fit...he was perhaps 50 years old. I never did
ask. Carl had contacted him and he needed to talk to me about my
situation. Very quickly he assimilated the information and told me that I
was going to walk out of there due to illegal search and seizure. He said
to give it a few days. I said, "great!" he asked me how I was getting on. I
said i didn't want to talk about it. He said he knew all about the place
and that I didn't have to. He said he would make some efforts for me in
that regard. Later, when I found out what really went on in there and how
it reached into the community on a variety of levels I was less surprised
about everything that happened.

while walking back to my cell Nelson chatted me up in a comradely
fashion. He wanted me to know that it was just some kind of initiation
thing and I shouldn't worry about followups. There were wheels and wheels
going on but I knew nothing. later I found out that this lawyer was a
serious player. It was enough for most people just to see him to want to
act more reasonably.

I told Nelson it was okay. I said that there was a lot I enjoyed about
men. I hadn't really done any of these things much. (I hadn't even had much
sex with Don..or anyone else) "But" I told him, "I don't like the brutal
shit...but I can handle that too if I'm high. it's later when I turn to
shit inside my mind."

"Not to worry." he said, "we're done with you." I felt a real sense of
relief and I thought about Bill. If I was going to get out I wanted to be
with him as much as I could.

Well, things happened and things didn't happen...but that's life.

That night I got all made up in my cell and waited on Bill. When he came by
with his flashlight I was sitting back in the bottom bunk, all dressed up
and all made up, my knees drawn up, sipping on scotch and smoking. i'd made
a ribbon for my hair out of a strip of magazine and I was stoned and
drunk. Bill came into my cell that night, three times, and we fucked in
every position. I won't spend much time on this because Bill fucked me
every night I was there. We must have had sex twenty times before I left in
the five days that we engaged. But that night was perfect as all of them
were. I really became his girl. Other things happened in this four days
following the first night and I was a man in some of them...but once it got
dark I started to think of Bill. I've still got two photos of his cock from
when I visited him on the way back, one hard and one soft. I have looked at
them over the years.

I remember the taste of his cum in my mouth. I remember how much of it
there was. I've never come in such copious quantities. It is what I imagine
a horse produces. And whenever he came in my ass I made sure to lock my ass
and rest in a certain position so that no part of it would escape
me. Because of the drugs and because it was so new and I was so young and
willing and because my perception of reality was so confined and controlled
by my environment I became something I have never been again. But it is
intersting to note that when I went and stayed at his home for a few days
on my way back from The Keys...it was still wonderful. I attribute that in
part to the drugs I brought with me and the drugs he had (yeah, I didn't
learn a fucking thing. I went right back to carrying them in my car with
me...but I slid by that time). I didn't take drugs for ten years after
that. Now I do again and maybe that is part of this feeling again.

Anyway, I woke up the next day, encrusted with sweat and cum, fucked,
coming into consciousness as a girl, thinking about my man, wishing he was
near so that I could do it again. I was a real slut at the time. you'll
see.

I cleaned up and after lunch my cell door opened and the guard ushered two
boys into my cell, Patrick and Bobby. Patrick was about 5'6" and Bobby was
maybe aninch taller. Patrick had red hair and green eyes and very fair skin
with freckles. Bobby I cannot remember so well now, except to say he was
dark and very slender. I think he had dark eyes and black hair. They were
both handsome and they were both very jailhouse pretty.

When I first saw them I thought, immediately, that Nelson was lying when he
said I was the finest 'bitch' he had ever seen. Both of these two were
beautiful, in the way that youth and energy will make you and in the way
that vulnerability speaks for beauty and so very often has a say. But most
of us diminish our own assets and wish to avoid those who make too much of
their own..so, who the fuck knows?

They had both been raped in population and cried for help. Patrick still
had the remnants of a black eye. They'd been at the infirmary,
healing. They looked shell-shocked.

We talked for awhile and I could not tell them they were okay now. That
would have been a lie. I knew that too well. I did turn them on to some
cocaine and scotch so that by evening we were all in a merry mood. I should
mention here that the lawyer, Bennett Mellon (not his name, but real close)
had asked me about my 'amenities'. Even though I had yet 2.5 grams (give or
take) of coke and a full bottle of scotch, I told him I was out. More came.

That night nothing happened, except we got high. I went with Bill that
night, taking all my stash with me, leaving them a gram on the plate and
some scotch. I came back around 3:00am and they were still up. I kissed
Bill at the door. I hadn't worn my outfit.

After a pause of time and snorting some lines Patrick asked me what was
going on. I told him, or rather them. I said he was fucking me and I liked
it and he was protecting me from far worse. I showed them my clothes and
told them I liked being a girl for him. I told them they might be in for
some things too. I had to. I said I liked girls but I didn't mind being one
either, especially when I was high. Bobby was not impressed, though he had
the good sense not to say anything to me. After all, I controlled the
drugs. Patrick on the other hand seemed to understand and kept asking me
what he could do to seem willing so as to avoid more of the brutality that
he ahd already received. I was candid. I don't like bullshit. At that time
I was just expressing the native honesty of my being. Across the reach of
the years, I must say...I just don't like bullshit. Bobby was playing
tough..but the thing is, I knew he'd been knocked down and fucked..tough is
only good when tough can play the house...otherwise, either wisdom or
practicality should monitor your fate.

I said to him, "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you will figure it
out."

We went to bed. I in the bottom bunk, Bobby up top, Patrick in my old
place. Patrick woke me up late in the night and begged me to help him not
get fucked. He did this in whispers and he clutched at me and grabbed me as
if holding on to me was going to save his ass. I told him I would do what I
could but he needed to make the best of it.

The next day was another day. Confidence seemed to be restored with the
sun...and I had the coke...I had had to tell them that the scotch was mine
though. I would give them a portion...but in the back of my head was the
thought that it could run out...and I WAS NOT GOING TO RUN OUT IN 'HERE!"

That evening though, Nelson came by. he made Patrick suck his cock at the
bars, just like me. Truthfully, I asked him to let the boy go. he told me
to shut the fuck up, my influence covered only me and if I wanted my
'amenities' to be clean and strong I would mark his words. I did. He told
Bobby to come down and suck him too. Bobby said he wasn't going to. Nelson
nodded his head and raised his hand. the celldoor opened. he walked in and
jerked Bobby off on his bed to the floor and kicked him twice. Bobby cried
for help and Nelson kicked him again. Patrick scrambled back during this
and crawled with all the emulated power of a snake- behind me on the bottm
bunk where I sat.

"You want to suck me now Bitch!" Nelson said. Bobby nodded. He sat on the
bed, pressing my ass out of the way and pulled Bobby into his crotch. Bobby
gagged and coughed...but had no choice and Nelson shot his wad into his
mouth and when Bobby started to vomit from it Nelson immediately forced him
on to the floor and puched him in the stomach which immediately caused
Bobby to swallow the whole load. Bobby then began to retch uncontrollably
and Nelson walked out. Bobby puked for some time in the toilet.

Later Nelson returned and took both of them away. During that time Bill
came to my cell. We didn't do anything because they were too much on my
mind. An hour later they returned...really beaten...not physically so much,
at least from what I could see...but cowed. freaked. I then thanked
whatever God's protected me that I had had drugs. They weren't given
anything.

I immediately set out to heal as I could. I made them pull down their pants
and I rubbed coke into their asses. Both of them were bleeding, bleeding
worse than I had been. I make it a point to open myself when life forces
itself upon me. It's an inate thing I think. Here I had living proof that
surrender on some occasions beats passive/aggressive resistence all down
the line.

I spoke softy, i got them drunk and high. When Bill came by I went to the
bars and asked him if he would do something for me. All he asked was, "are
you sure?"

I asked, "will you." "Absolutely Sugar. But I can't protect them."

"But seeing this might help." I said.

And then he said to me something I will always carry in my heart. He said,
"until now I just thought you were beautiful, beautiful to look at. Now I
know you are beautiful inside and out."

He went away and I said, to my wounded and drunken cohorts. "You only have
to watch now. I want you both on this bunk on either side of me. You have
to endure. Remember, you won't be in here forever..maybe you like this and
maybe you don't...maybe you don't know. I don't know who I am. I know I'm
high and this is what I'm doing while I wait to get free."

I took off all of my clothes and Patrick whimpered. "Relax" I said. "This
isn't about you." Then I put on my clothes, which Bill had had laundered
for me that day. I slipped on my thong. Then I snorted some lines. I drank
some scotch and I smiled at Patrick. I said, "You don't have to do this and
you don't have to feel like I do...but it is all the difference between
Heaven and Hell."

Then I put on my stockings and tied the skirt around my waist. I pressed
coke into my ass then, just to feel it. Both of them watched me in horror
and amazement. I said, " a girls got to do what a girls got to do." I
looked at their open mouths as I said this and then I said. "Wake up and
smell your body burning."

Bill had brought me fake tits, good ones. The piece wrapped wide from
stomach to armpit so that the tits, small champagne glass like would hang
right. He had asked me what he could bring me and I said, this. Then I put
my top over.

I went to the mirror and applied my make-up. Now I had eye shadow and
glitter too. Bill had suggested this. When I was done I turned around and
asked. "What do you think?"

Patrick replied, "you're beautiful." Bobby said nothing. he was crying. I
would have gone to him but I had no hope to give.

I sat down between them and I said, "You're just going to watch. If you
want to be part of this, that's okay too. But you need to see how you might
get out of here without it hurting more than it has to"

As I read back over my words, these twenty years later, I'm amazed at the
wisdom in them. I never thought that then. If truth be told, I was into
this. I couldn't imagine anything better than a huge cock going in and out
of my ass, or pulsing in my mouth. Later I wound up eating the pussies of
teenage girls and I have to say...it's a dead tie. Since i went on to be a
fairly famous rock musician, I had an enormous amount of physical attention
from the 13 to 17 year old teenage girl spectrum. maybe it was payback. I
don't know.

Bill came into the cell a little while later and I glided up to meet
him. We kissed there for awhile and then he undressed. I sat back down
between these boys and I sucked him for some time. Then I turned over on my
back and let my head dangle over the bunk while Bill buried his cock in my
mouth. I do not doubt those boys were impressed that I took the whole of it
down my throat. Bill pulled me up and kissed me again. Then he pressed me
down into the bunk. "Sugar, you are as good as gold." he said. "Fuck me." I
replied. Bill came forward and very slowly buried his whole cock in my
ass. I reached out with either hand to the crotches of these boys. They
both hardened under my touch...no lie here by the way....I moaned and spoke
words of love to Bill. I turned to the boys and told them to put their
heads close to see Bill's cock disappear into my ass and they both did. I
said, "see, it doesn't have to hurt."

Then I got lost in the sheer joy of being fucked and being fucked by a
master. I did my one hundred percent, young girl, giving herself to a big
man. I cried out for him to fuck me and fuck me harder and harder and Bill
did. The most amazing thing about that evening, except for Bill's cock in
my ass was when I reached for Patrick as I was about to come and pulled his
head down upon my cock. He took my cock into his mouth and drained me while
I came...exquisite...just...just...no words.

After that Bill pulled from my ass. he had not cum...he only did it in my
ass half the time as I remember it now. He washed his cock and I chopped
out major lines for everyone. It was dark in the cell, but we could see
each others faces. I can still remember the difference between Patricks and
Bobby's faces. I knew then too, whether intuitively, or by grace, what I
had to do.

I began to suck Bill. I sucked him as deep and as outrageously slobber
filled and greedy as I could manage. When I knew he was close to coming I
pulled Patrick down by me and When Bill came we shared the cum. Once he was
done I went to Bobby and I made him snowball with me. His protestations
were only surface anyway. Then I freed his cock and I blew him until he
came. here, with Patrick and Bobby were the smaller cocks I spoke of
earlier. It was nothing to me at this time to keep Bobby completely and
entirely in my mouth until he shot. Then I went and snowballed Patrick.

Bill left. We spent some long time at the door. he said some wonderful
things to me that I don't have to repeat now.

I sat back with some scotch and a cigarette. Bobby went up, Patrick sat by
me. We fell asleep.