This is a work of fiction and all the standard warnings & disclaimers apply. No intended resemblance to actual people. No minors should be reading this material. If you are offended by frank adult reading, leave now. etc.
I've been trying for a damn long time to put together another saga, but these queers just haven't opened themselves up to Me in My mind. As a result, everything just sounds forced and uninspired, and that does nobody any good.
So here's something a little different.
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO READ:
Awhile back, a guy I knew asked Me to help him put together an ad for Craigslist. He was leaving town (Chicago), and wanted an ad to place once he got settled in his new place. This is what we put together.
I'm assuming he used it, but have no idea. We weren't close friends or anything. I was thinking of writing a story around it, but realized it was a pretty good story all by itself.
This is where you cocksuckers come in. If you find this ad inspiring,answer it by emailing Me. However, just so we're clear, you are not writing this (and neither will I be reading this) to find a fag for Myself; this will be purely for entertainment value, good reading material. I'll resubmit the best responses to Nifty as new chapters in this series. I'll let the readers know it was sent to Me by some anonymous fag; no identifying info will be passed on to Nifty.
Now be a good fagslut and answer the ad just like it says to, including the title. If you wanna send photos to better self yourself, great, but they won't (can't) be published here.
Reach Me at not_your_typical_Master@yahoo.com. Have fun.
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LOOKING FOR FAG TO SERVE ME
OK, faggots. You know who you are.
Let Me tell you who I am. I'm a 37-year-old breeder with ex-wife and kids. I'm not looking to own a cocksucker, I just want to have a few available so I can call one whenever I want to take care of what I want taken care of. Maybe cook My dinner one night, clean My home some evening, do My laundry one weekend, mow My fucking lawn some afternoon, run some stupid errands for Me, all for the privilege of making a Man's day sweeter. Maybe I'll bother to acknowledge you, but probably not. This is nice and simple, fagbitch: do a bad job, and I'll never call you again. But...
Do a good job, and maybe next time I'll allow you the honor of worshipping My dirty & smelly feet after a long day on site. We both know fags like you love that kind of shit. And if you're really lucky, maybe I'll let you kiss My sweaty asshole while I'm resting after a good long run. Maybe, if I'm watching a game, I'll call you over to gulp down My piss so I don't have to get up. If you're really impressive, I might just wear the same socks day after day until they reek and I call you back; then you can clean them with your faggot mouth while you finger your hole to show Me (and maybe some of My buddies) what a fag you are. Wouldn't that be great, faggot? Of course it would. And just so we're clear, this isn't play; if My socks aren't wearable in an hour, you won't be coming back. After all, cuntface, if I you aren't serving a purpose for Me then you have no reason to be breathing My air, do you? Of course you don't.
So most days, once you have completed your task, I'll just kick your queer ass out the door until next time I got a reason for you to live. Maybe I'll have you come over one morning, make My bed where I fucked My girlfriend the night before, and send you back on your merry little way. That'll put a smile on My face.
I'm not some leatherfag, so if you're looking for some kind of "scene", move on. I'm not going to whip you or tie you up. But if you got a pretty little fagpussy, I'll enjoy spanking it once in a while to remind you who I am and what you are. Trust Me on this: you will quickly be begging Me to spank your faggot ass, cuz it's as close to intimate a fagbitch like you could ever dream of being with a Man like Me. This is the real deal: a Man and a fag. Come on, your stupid fagclit is all throbbing and drooling already, isn't it?
I'm never going to want to see or touch your ugly nads and not going to fuck your fagpussy. This is all about what I want. Wanna impress me? Don't try to be a woman with make-up and shit, but wear some pretty femme panties to peak out from your jeans while you bend over to clean up after me, displaying yourself as a bitch to be fucked. I enjoy laughing at queers, so it's in your best interest to give Me lots of reasons to laugh. Be the limp-wristed fairy you've been trying so hard not to be around other people, just to give me a chuckle. Be proud to be the pansy you really are; isn't that what this "pride" shit is all about?
I don't give a fuck what you look like. Why the fuck should I? I'm just looking for service and submission. Attitude is key. If you've got a talented throat, great. I like fags that live to worship cock and love to spend hours throating and coaxing My dick to feed them. If you use your hands on My cock, save us both the trouble and don't fucking bother. I get enough of that from the women I date.
After a few visits being useful to me without trying out your throat, I'll call you over sometime to test your talent while I watch a game. When I'm done, I send you home by flicking My thumb at the door. Not a word exchanged the entire time except Me telling you to fetch Me a beer once in a while. If I'm pleased, I'll call your throat back sometime. Remember, though, no faggot throat is as good as pussy. I'm straight. My first choice is always pussy. Your mouth and throat are merely an appliance I use to get off if I've got no better options. I RARELY have no better options. (Yes, faggots, that flesh and blood dildo in the photo is My magnificent cock. Over 8" of cut, thick, juicy dickmeat. I know you're drooling now.)
If you show promise as a fag-servant but don't suck cock worth a damn, maybe I'll still use you to take care of Me and My home. Maybe I'll tell you to find Me some decent throats to come by for My use while you're scrubbing My bathroom with your toothbrush. You try 'em out first on your own time, tell 'em you're auditioning them for Me, then send Me the best of the bunch when I tell you to. If I get some dimestore cocksucker trying to make Me happy with no fucking clue how, that's -your- failure, faggot. Been nice knowing you; I'll find a queer who's better at finding ways to provide pleasure for My meat.
So get to work, faggots, before you lose your nerve and the chance to finally find fulfillment by serving the Man of your fucking dreams. I'm 6'6, 240, blue-collar white guy with steel blue eyes fags are forbidden to look into and a trophy dick you'll only get to see in person if and when you prove yourself worthy. Let's see how good a fag you are. Give Me some idea of your experience in being useful to a Man, and some idea of your perverted cocksucker needs. What do you hope to get out of this besides the undeserved honor of being useful to a Man like Me? Photos showing yourself actually serving a purpose will help your chances. Prove to Me that you fucking get what it means for a fag to really have a function for a Man. Begging, not just asking but truly pleading a Man for His attention, is a good start.
If you call Me "Sir", you're already dragging Me into your stupid faggot games. Move along and let someone better have a try at Me. I got a name; good luck learning what it is. And we both already know what your name is, don't we, faggot?
You still just sitting there, homo? You just wasted My time. Don't fucking bother.