Master and the Mate



Dave L. ed.

Chapter 56

Recovered Memories

The next day Kyle had his second session with Dr. Downing. The doctor was ten minutes late for his appointment and Kyle began to think he wasn't coming when he finally arrived.

"Sorry I'm late, but I had to stop by the hospital before coming and there were complications with one of my patients." Dr. Downing said as he knocked and hurriedly entered without waiting for Kyle's response.

"That's understandable, but we still need to end on time, since I have another commitment today. Have you given any thought to our last session?" Kyle replied.

"Yes, actually, quite a bit of thought. You seem to think that I may have been abused myself, but I have no recollection of anything. How could I forget something so important, if it were true?"

"Well, the mind, as you know, has some very powerful defense mechanisms. Sometimes during a traumatic experience, we escape the reality and imagine ourselves somewhere else. So, although the body experiences the abuse, the mind disconnects and saves it for later when we have developed the skills and emotional maturity to cope with the event." Kyle explained.

"So you really think that I was abused?" Dr. Jim asked.

"Well, there are signs of abuse in some of the things that you say about yourself, but I can't be sure without doing a full evaluation." Kyle suggested. "My associate is an expert in hypnosis, would you mind if I invite him in here to help us delve into your past?"

"Hypnosis? Isn't that just a bunch of hokey pokey?" The doctor said mockingly.

"Actually, no, it can be a very powerful tool in the therapeutic process. My associate has not needed anesthesia for years when he goes to the dentist, so I doubt that it is hokey pokey as you say or he'd come running out of the dentist's office screaming." Kyle shared with Jim trying to instill confidence in him.

"Well, OK, if you really think that it will help." Jim said.

Kyle buzzed Ryan who was alone and came right over. Short introductions were made, and Ryan continued to chat with the doctor about his own experience with cancer in order to gain the man's trust.

"So are you ready to begin or would you prefer to use the bathroom first?" Ryan said in order to help Jim understand that he was very much in charge of the process.

"I'm ready. Go for it." Dr. Jim replied.

"Fine, Jim. Would you mind holding up your arm like mine?" Ryan said, extending his arm straight out from his body to one side. "Just close your eyes and imagine yourself in a place where you felt very safe in your childhood and then lower your arm as you begin to find yourself there."

* * *
WARNING: hypnosis should only be practised by a trained professional who has high ethical standards. Using hypnosis for entertainment is unethical, having the negative effect of causing people to fear it. The description of Ryan hypnotizing his client is incomplete so please do not attempt hypnosis which is potentially life threatening in the hands of the untrained.
* * *

Within seconds, Jim's arm was completely down and Ryan began to explore his past life. He took him to various birthday celebrations which Jim was able to recall with remarkable accuracy. When he arrived at his ninth birthday, there was a clear change in his demeanor.

"Were you as happy at your ninth birthday as you were on your eighth?" Ryan asked.

"No, I wasn't as happy." Jim said.

"Can you tell me why you weren't as happy?" Ryan asked.

"I'm not sure, somehow I felt different." Jim responded.

"What's changed?" Ryan asked.

Immediately Jim began to cry. "It hurts so bad. Please stop. It hurts!" Jim said, obviously very upset about something.

"Jim. I am Dr. Ryan and Dr. Kyle is here too. I am going to count to three and when I get to three you will find that all the hurting stops. You will continue to remember what's happening to you, but you will be numb and feel no discomfort. One, two, three!"

Dr. Jim's body began to relax immediately as his mind separated the memory from the pain he was feeling. Ryan continued to explore until it became very clear that Dr Jim's uncle, who was only about 14-years-old, had raped Jim. Ryan gave him some post-hypnotic suggestions that would allow Jim to recall the incidents without the pain. His plan was to help Jim cope with the pain little by little in further sessions.

From that day Ryan and Kyle became co-therapists for the doctor. They spent some extra time with him debriefing him in order to make sure that he was not overly depressed by the revelations found through the hypnotherapy.

"Actually, I feel somewhat relieved, like a heavy burden has been taken off my shoulders, but I still can't understand fully why I had no recollection, and then when I remembered, how vivid the memory was." Jim said.

Due to the extra time that both Ryan and Kyle spent with Dr. Jim, they were late getting to Central Park, where the gay pride parade was being assembled. When they finally arrived, the organizers were somewhat uptight, thinking that Ryan had backed out on them. There was a small podium on a raised platform from which Ryan could speak to those who would be marching in his segment of the demonstration. Kyle was awed by the number of professionals that had shown up – there had to be well over 100.

Ryan took the podium and was applauded by those waiting to be orientated. Ryan explained to which side they would be moving and said that each group would walk behind a banner indicating their profession. They would go in alphabetical order: Accountants, Actors, Architects, Dentists, Doctors, Editors, Engineers followed in turn by Lawyers, Nurses, Office Workers, Psychologists, Social Workers, Teachers and Writers and then every other smaller group. [ED: as you can see, we come much higher up the pecking order than Writers!]

"Where do the Hairdressers go?" Someone called out.

"Oh, they are all up a head in the blatant section!" Punned Ryan, quoting his editor.

"Before we leave to join the main parade, I just want to thank you for CUMMING OUT today." Many laughed. "Today we parade and demonstrate in order to demand our rights, but let us not forget those who made this possible, especially those at the Stonewall bar who stood up to police brutality and intolerance for Gay minorities. Only those who are willing to stand in the defense of their rights are worthy of them! (Applause). Human dignity does not depend on our sexual preference. We are all made in the image and likeness of God. (Applause). Those who would reject us as Children of God reject God himself! (More Applause). But let us not make the mistake of following their poor example: let us not reject our straight brothers and sisters! (Less enthusiastic applause). Let us proclaim what all peoples should defend: we are all sons and daughters of the One Lord! (Enthusiastic Applause). We walk, but it is extremely important for our message to be heard that we avoid any violence or name-calling. If they insult us, respond with a smile and say, 'God loves all his Children; (Applause) even the intolerant ones!' Remember, if something violent happens, just walk away and don't get drawn into it. There may be plants among us who will try to make us look bad and violent. Keep your calm at all times and know that God loves all his children equally deeply!" (More applause.)

The parade was a huge success, but it hurt Ryan that when they went past St. Patrick's Cathedral, there was no sign of pastoral love. He was determined to help change that the following year: 'How can my church turn its back on me, just because of my sexual orientation? I've got to confront the homophobes in the hierarchy,' he thought to himself.

Kyle and Ryan went for a drink in the village after the parade. They wanted to go to Stonewall, but it was already wall to wall with people, so they found someplace a bit quieter afew blocks away and had a couple of cold beers.

"Kyle, this isn't the best place to talk, but at home the kids are always around. Would you like to talk about that dream you had the other night?" Ryan enquired.

"Oh, that? Ry, it really had me scared there for a while. I kept getting flashbacks all during the next day. At one point, I thought I was losing it. But then in an instant the whole memory popped into my head. I hadn't thought about it for years. Can you imagine what it was?" Kyle asked.

"Were you molested as a child?" Ryan said hesitatingly.

"I thought so, as I could only recall small fragments but then the pieces began to fit together. In a flash, I remembered that before I went into the hospital to have my tonsils taken out, my Mom and Dad had to give me an enema! Shit, it was an awful experience. I was crying and asking them not to do it. They had lowered my pants, laid me down on the kitchen table and raised my legs up. I felt so defiled and embarrassed. But it had to be done. As I remembered the various segments, I began to relive the experience and would break out in sweats. But damn, was I relieved when I realized that it was only an enema and not my father raping me."

Ryan didn't say anything, he just nodded his head and placed his hand on top of Kyle's and internally breathed a sigh of relief.

"You know, I think recalling that experience is going to help me work with Dr. Jim. It gives me an insight into what he must be going through." Kyle added.

To be continued.
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