(© 2008, by author)
Dave L., ed.
When they got home and finally got to their playroom, Ryan told Kyle to get undressed as he was going to tie him down to the wooden table that they had placed in the room to replace the massage table. Once Kyle was naked, Ryan had him lay down on the table and placed a leather belt across his mid-section thus strapping him down to the table and then another across his chest. Kyle immediately began to harden at the prospect that Ryan was about to do something new, something unknown. The anticipation of the unknown helped to raise his anxiety level and thus become more sensitive to all the sensations he was feeling. Ryan then put a strap around his head and then cuffed each wrist to the table, slowly immobilizing him. He then placed ankle restrainers on his captive and bent his knees back until he had free access to Kyle's ass hole and genitals. Finally he placed a blindfold over Kyle's eyes, which helped to focus Kyle's attention more on how Ryan was touching him than on how he looked.
Ryan then played with Kyle's cock and balls, manipulating them and getting Kyle into a full-blown erection with his cock completely engorged and his balls ready to fire at the slightest stimulus. Ryan then began working on Kyle's butt hole, teasing it with his fingers and later his tongue.
Kyle moaned in delight at the feeling of Ryan's gentle teasing of his sexual organs and sphincter. When Ryan penetrated his butt hole with his tongue, Kyle was about to cum on his own face; then Ryan changed his tactics and began stimulating the captive young man in another way. Two or three times, Kyle was at the brink of a violent orgasm, but each time Ryan pulled away or just kept still. Then he would take Kyle's nipples between his thumb and first fingers and massage them gently while gradually increasing the pressure. As he neared the point that the massage could be called a pinch, he would stop and let Kyle exhale with a heave as he found relief but at the same time frustration from not cumming.
Ryan then put some KY gel on a plastic applicator and inserted the applicator into Kyle's ass hole. At first the sensation delighted Kyle as he was yearning to be taken by Ryan, but then he felt the liquid begin to invade his innards and could feel himself beginning to panic all over again. Ryan emptied as much as two bags of warm water into his entrails and Kyle was trying to fight the expansion of his intestines. Then Ryan replaced the applicator with a butt plug and lowered his boy's legs.
Kyle begged to be released so that he could go to the toilet and relieve himself, but Ryan ignored his pleas for several minutes. Finally when Kyle thought he would pass out, Ryan undid his bindings and led him into the shower where he made him squat and only then removed the butt plug.
The sense of relief that came over Kyle was so great that he immediately began to hug Ryan. Ryan returned the hug and pulled Kyle's naked body closer to his own naked torso. Then Kyle felt Ryan urinating as their two bodies were pressed together – the sensation was intoxicating. When Ryan turned on the water to shower off the stale urine, Kyle practically jumped out of his skin. Then Ryan fell to his knees before the naked Adonis that stood before him and took his penis down into his throat and began sucking. Kyle, who had lost his erection due to the unexpected enema, again became fully aroused while Ryan manipulated his balls with one hand and penetrated his butt hole with one finger of the other hand. When Kyle finally came, he couldn't help but scream since the release of his orgasm was so unexpectedly intense.
"Ry, I love, I love, No one else can do for me what you do for me. I love you. AAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
Ryan just kept sucking on Kyle's erect penis, savoring his white male honey as he emptied the young man of his youthful vigor. The two slept that night locked in each other's embrace and Kyle's nightmare was no more.
* * *
The next day, in the next session with Dr. Jim, both Ryan and Kyle worked to help the man both recover his past repressed memories and to process them into distinct mental categories. Gradually Ryan allowed him to confront his pain, but only to the degree that the doctor could cope.
Ryan explained to the medical doctor that we often try to forget traumatic experiences instead of working at integrating them into our mental maps. Unlike post-traumatic stress disorder, wherein the victim suffers flashbacks, the victim who has fled into his imagination never experiences or lives the trauma. The difficulty these people face is of a separation between the trauma and their feelings. Because they never processed their feelings, when something triggers similar feelings, they again use the tactic of escaping into fantasy. This then often prevents them from feeling empathy or of perceiving the pain of others and this lack of feeling can in some cases prepare the way for they themselves to become future abusers. Child abusers attempt to recover their loss of power by dominating others and have no awareness of the suffering of their victims. Rather they project their own newfound feelings of power and pleasure onto their victims.
"In your case, you are unable to recognize an abused child because you have not accepted the abused child that lives within yourself. Your mind avoids the perception of an abused child because its protecting itself from the memory you wish to leave in the past. You see, health professionals who work with children and have been abused themselves have an obligation to seek therapy or they make themselves incompetent. Working in a field where you are incompetent grates against professional ethics as well as one's own moral convictions." Ryan spoke very scientifically knowing that the client had the background to understand him.
"So, if I understand you correctly, if I do not deal with my past, then I can be held culpable for any victims that I fail to diagnose correctly?" Dr. Jim asked.
"Well, it may be hard to prove culpability to a board of professional ethics, but at the level of conscience, yes, you are correct." Kyle said, hoping to motivate the man to continue with the therapy not only for his own sake, but also for the countless victims he might come across in his medical practice.
"God, this is so new to me. I have never seen anything written up on this in the medical journals." Dr. Jim said.
"Actually, Dr. Loud has published on this very topic in a medical bulletin." Kyle said proudly.
"Would you two be willing to address this question at one of our upcoming medical association meetings?" Dr. Jim asked.
"Of course we would, but let's not get sidetracked off your immediate need to deal with these issues." Kyle said as he steered the doctor back onto the issue of himself.
* * *
About two weeks went by before Dr. Jim made his first referral to Dr. Kyle. It was a boy who had been abused by both his grandfather and his uncle. Both Kyle and Ryan agreed to see the parents together. Very often the parents of the victim go through the stages of those who mourn, and the first stage is often denial. In this case, the parents were textbook examples and kept insisting that a terrible mistake had been made by the social worker who had investigated the case. They insisted that nothing had occurred. This of course put the child in great danger, since by not believing him, they could not provide for his safety.
By this time Kyle had learned quite a bit about pedophilia and its negative effects on the victims. He explained to the parents that the human mind develops in stages. There are physical, emotional, intellectual and moral stages of growth which each develop on its own timetable and in spurts. He explained that in a normal child's brain different functions develop in spurts and that the intellectual development depends on the physical maturing of the brain. In turn the ability to distinguish between right and wrong follows the intellectual development. The part of the brain that controls our sexuality normally does not develop until around the time of puberty, but the brain of a child who is introduced into sex at an earlier stage has to deal with the sexual stimulation occurring without the aid of that part of the brain where moral decisions are made. One of the results of this reversal in timing is the inability of the victim to see any moral problem of adults engaging with children in sex. These individuals are more prone therefore to becoming child molesters themselves and so the cycle continues.
The parents were not sure that they understood Kyle fully, but what he said successfully scared them into accepting therapy for their boy. Unfortunately, before they had sufficient time to work with him, he had been caught in the boy's bathroom trying to persuade a classmate to have intercourse with him and the case became a huge legal mess. Both Ryan and Kyle realized that early childhood promiscuity was also one of the symptoms of childhood sexual abuse.
On the drive home, Kyle commented, "Ry, our three boys sure can be a challenge at times, but thank God, up to now we haven't had to deal with anything like this."
"Buckle your seat belt, Dr. Darling, I am afraid we are going to be seeing more and more sexually abused children. Parents today have abandoned the supervision of their kids precisely when they need it most. They leave the kids with Grandma, but the kids are fast to find whose house has no parents or guardians and that is were they tend to meet. Those sexually abused among them will introduce their friends into drinking, drugs, pornography and then take advantage of their ignorance and the cycle goes on." Ryan said somewhat solemnly.
"Ry, do you think we are doing enough for our boys?" Kyle questioned."
"I suppose we can never do enough, but as long as we keep asking ourselves that question, I suspect we will stay on track." Ryan said more optimistically. "I think the most important thing is that they each feel our love and that our affection is shown to them as something separate from sex. That way they will want both sex and love and not just settle for sex." Ryan said, reaching across the seat and putting his hand on top of Kyle's hand and caressing it. Kyle reciprocated and intertwined his fingers with Ryan's. Ryan pulled the two hands up to his lips and kissed Kyle's hand gently.
"Ry, have you ever thought how different our lives would have been if I hadn't answered your ad in the newspaper?" Kyle questioned.
"Yes, I have asked myself that many a time. I often thought what if I hadn't placed that ad that day. Where would I be today? It seems that so many really important things hang by a thin thread of either casuality or kismet." Ryan answered.
"Kismet?' Kyle said frowning.
"Fate or destiny." Ryan said and again kissed Kyle's hand. "I would probably be married to Anthony or Bill!" Ryan teased.
"Hahahahaha." Kyle laughed and then contemplated how sad his life would have been without Ryan, and all those he had come to know and love because of his relationship with him. The question seemed mind-boggling.
Once home, they seemed to find a reserve of energy as each made a special effort to connect with each of their sons. At dinner the topic came out into the open.
"What's with you two today? You're both acting funny." Mark said.
"Yeah, come to think of it you were both on me like you were getting to tell me something bad." Alex agreed with Mark.
"Nothing, its just that while we were driving home we realized how much we love each of you and how important you each have become to us." Kyle said sincerely.
"Does this mean you two will be listening to those Indian drums again tonight or will you be down in the playroom and screaming your head off like last night?" Manny asked.
Both Ryan and Kyle's faces turned beet red. Everyone began to giggle and then they all went into a laughing fit.
"Stop, my sides hurt from laughing." Kyle said.
"Yeah, that was something like what you yelled last night!" Alex said and everyone roared.
"You guys heard everything?" Ryan asked, mortified, but also laughing and holding his sides. Ryan put his hand on Manny's head and cupped it in his palm in a loving gesture. Alex and Mark were now up pretending to be Ryan and Kyle making love and screaming one to the other to stop, when the door bell rang.
To be continued.