Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002 09:43:35 +0100 From: "solark36@yahoo.co.uk" Subject: London Romance-2 Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and not intended for minors or those judged unable by law to read this material. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental. The author reserves all rights to this work. LONDON ROMANCE PART TWO WILL: A PULL OF THE HEART I was knackered. It wasn't my illness. I wasn't ill ... yet. It was my work. Since moving to London, I've been working non-stop. It didn't help that I was stuck in an office during my work hours. It wasn't a physical kind of fatigue, more the mental type. I treasured my lunch hour and spent all of it out of that 'box'. Though there were windows, I didn't have the luxury of looking out of them. I merely looked out of the windows at the park across the road to rest my eyes every once in a while. Work! It was not work; it was drudgery. What I was doing before was work; work that I liked: public relations. I can't blame the company, really. My condition did not permit me to be reliable enough to be running around at odd times. I had myself to blame. The risks I took ... I was a foolish bloke. I reached home at half past five. The traffic was horrific today. There was a broken-down van right in the middle of the main road. It caused such a jam! Normally, I get back by five. Thirty minutes wasted in the bus. I should've taken the underground today. Just to save me some walking, I decided to take the risk with the bus. It arrived on time today, but the traffic delayed it terribly. I open the door and I'm greeted with familiar surroundings. I'm thankful that Mrs. Lowry comes in to tidy up for me. I pay her a paltry sum, but I couldn't afford more. I tried to tell her that I couldn't afford to pay her more and that she should offer her services where the wages were higher. She said she didn't care about the wage. She had already three other homes to clean and that my flat was easy to manage any way. In realty, Mrs. Lowry didn't need to work anymore. Her children have finished school and are now supporting her. She lost her husband and youngest son when a drunk driver ran into them twenty years ago. Since then she has put four children through school. Three of them went to the university. Her oldest girl had to start working when she finished her O levels. She has since gotten married. Mrs. Lowry lives with her two sons and other daughter. They work during the day and Mrs. Lowry works to pass her time. I left my keys in the bowl next to the door. Then I kicked off my shoes and took off my socks. I was too late for a jog. I guess I'll have to get to the pub earlier today. I stripped and got into the shower. It was refreshing when the hot water hit my neck and cascaded down my body. The force of the water gave my neck the massage it needed and brought it relief. I wished that I was able to stay in the shower for a longer time, but the water bills would hit the roof and I didn't need the extra expense. I dried myself and changed into some clean clothes. I got to my little kitchen to prepare dinner. I was greeted with a little note form Mrs. Lowry on the door. She'd left me some chicken broth in the refrigerator. I smiled to myself. I'd told Mrs. Lowry many times that I wasn't her son, but she tends to dote on me. She said her youngest son was about my age. I had given up telling her in the end. Perhaps that was why she didn't mind the lower wages. I remind her of her son. I took out the broth and added some carrots and peas and made a soup. I also got out some ham and greens and made a simple salad. With a piece of bread, I got down to dinner. I looked forward to my daily routine of getting to Larry's Pub down by the corner after dinner. Well, it wasn't really my daily routine. I went only from Mondays to Thursdays. Sometimes I go down on Fridays but it is usually too crowded for me. It is even more crowded during the weekend and so I give Larry's a miss. I reach the pub and take the corner table as usual. There are not so many people here during the week at this time. I usually take a pint of dark ale and leave before the real drinkers arrive. The pub is an interesting place. People of all ages come in. There were few regulars like myself. Among them was an old couple. The man was in his late sixties and the wife was probably in her early or mid-sixties. Both of them were still quite strong and they obviously enjoyed each other's company. I'd taken the courage to talk to them once and found that they'd been married for over forty years. It's evident that they were still deeply in love and still very romantic towards each other. The attraction for me, though, was the variety of people that came in. I finished my pint and headed back to my flat. I usually catch the news after Larry's. Because I came back earlier from Larry's I watched the last half an hour of a drama on TV before the news. There was nothing much on the news. It was the same bad news regarding war, bomb scares and crime. There was also the usual trival bits about fashion and the latest gadgets. I wondered why good news was so hard to come by. After the news, I took my medicine and went to bed. ----- The alarm woke me the next morning. It was half past five. It took me about five minutes to stretch and to be fully awake. I staggerred to the toilet and released my bladder. I opened the medical box and take my neasea medicine. Because of my other medication, I have to contend with "morning sickness". The other side effect I have is the slight headache that can come up any time during the day. I've gotten used to them, but the "morning sickness" is quite severe. After my morning abultions, I put the kettle on, popped a tea-bag into my mug and made a ham on rye. I noticed that I was running low on tea, cold cuts and bread. I made a mental note to get some groceries. It was just like any other day. I had my breakfast and then popped in my pills and changed. I used to be quite careful about how I looked. That was when I was in public relations. Now, I'm cooped up in an office with five women and two men. Both men are married and I certainly don't need to look good for the women. Except for my manager, who is a man, none of the others know that I am gay. Now, I just get whatever was available and wear it. I do make sure that the colours don't clash. I may not be too concerned about looking my best, but I still make sure that I don't look too much like a spectacle. The journey to the office was always an adventure. I had to take risks on the mode of transport. Sometimes I am lucky and I make it to the office early. Other times, I manage to make it right on time. There were a few times that I was actually late. This particular morning, I was not so lucky. I hopped on a bus, seeing that I had plenty of time on my hands. There was a small accident between two cars on the way and the bus was stuck in traffic for a while. I had to walk very quickly to the office and made it about a minute before time. I knew that the manager was upstairs and so it didn't matter even if I was five minutes late. My colleagues would've covered for me. "Punctual as always," Rose, the receptionist remarked. "You're not going to tell your boss that I made it just on time, are you?" I asked in a pleading voice. "Oh stop it, Will!" she laughed. She knew that I was just teasing her. "You're still on time. What damage would that do?" I smiled. I was about to move into the office when she called after me. "Hey, Will! I know that you're not attached yet, I know a girl, a blonde, who'd like to go out sometime ..." I groaned. "No blind dates, Rose. I've had all that I can take with blind dates for the moment." In reality, I've not gone out on a single blind date with a girl since I was transferred here eight years ago. I'd made up stories just to keep the ladies at bay." "I was just trying to help." "I know, Rose." I admitted. "But don't do anything like this because I wouldn't like to be reminded of my mother when I meet you," I said with a grin. "Oh! Keep quiet!" I laughed to myself as I continued into the office. I called out when I opened the door to the main office, "Good morning ladies and gentleman." There was only Johnny the only other man, besides my manager and myself. There was a chorus of greetings and then everyone went back to work. It was close to the end of the month and everyone wanted to make sure they got their figures correct. It was not easy to handle a case where there was a mistake in the salaries. I got into my own little office. At the back of the office was a door to the huge filing room. I had another person working with me. She joined the company four years ago. "Hi there Liz!" I greeted. "Just on time. How do you do it Will? Usually I fear for you when you're running late. I know Mr. Briar looks for every opportunity to get you. Yet almost all the time, you manage to come right on time. How do you do it?" "Luck, I guess," I shrugged as I answered. "I didn't worry today because I knew that Briar was going to be out for a meeting." "Liz, I try to make it on time whether Briar is here or not. It's a matter of principle." Liz scowled. She didn't like to talk about principles since she was in-between boyfriends at the moment. The last boyfriend couldn't take her often changing points of view and broke up with her saying that he wanted a girl with a stable sense of principle. I hung my coat and put my jacket around the back of my chair. Liz was in charge of filing accounts-related items. I handled everything else from complaints to maintenance reports. I went to the tray that received all the mail for my department. It was already half-filled. Most of them had come in after the branches closed the evening before. I collected the pile of envelopes and went to a side table to open up all the envelopes. I sorted the documents and then left what was Liz's on her desk. "That's a lot for you today!" she remarked. "I spent most of last evening preparing the files that Briar wanted. I had to make copies of every complaint regarding the Covent and Victoria branches. I left them on his desk yesterday at four. I couldn't possibly start on a batch at four and knock off at half past four, could I?" "Yes. Briar can be a pain in the arse." I smiled. Liz didn't know what she was talking about. I did. "Well, Briar is demanding, that's true, but I don't think he qualifies for that category." "How would you know? I don't understand you. He's always after your hide and you're defending him." I smiled again. "Liz, I'm trying to be objective here." "Like I would understand?" Liz said, more a statement than a question. We continued our work. There was another pile of papers to be filed that came at about quarter to ten. The filings seemed to be endless. I was happy when my watch beeped noon. It was lunch. Liz and I went out together. We met Rose as we were about to exit the main office. We talked and went off for lunch. The ladies needed to do some shopping and so I went back to the office. The manager was waiting for me. "You're here at last, Duncan!" my manager said. "I'm not late, am I?" I asked. My manager didn't quite like me. I wonder if it's because of my infection. "No, but I wanted to work on the Victoria and Covent branches today and I cannot find the files." "You told me yesterday that you wanted to work on them today, and so I left them on your desk before I left." "Well, they're not on my desk nor in the cabinets." I had the impression that he did not trust me. "I did leave them on your desk sir. I'm certain of it!" "Well, they're not here now. You were the last to see them. You're responsible." I bit my lip. He'd got me. I've been working very efficiently all these years and never had any problem until he came. He was transferred here two years ago and he immediately started giving me problems. Up to now, he'd no reason to give me the sack. I'd kept my cool and allowed him to ridicule my work. I needed to keep my job because the company bore the cost of my medicine. "I'll try to locate them, sir," I said quietly. "I saw him entering your office yesterday with some files, sir" said Johnny. "When he came out they were not in his hands." "Are you sure they are not in your office, sir?" asked Doris, an accounts' clerk. "Are you saying that I'm lying?" Briar demanded. I didn't want to get the others into trouble with Briar. "I'll try to locate them, sir." I restated loudly. Then I turned to the others and said, "I'll look again, don't worry." I could see the worried looks on Johnny's and Doris' faces. I walked to my office. "I need them in half an hour Duncan!" called out Briar. "Yes sir!" I said without even turning back. I got into my office and started to look through the pile of papers and files on my table. They weren't there. I knew I put them on his table. I got into the filing room and started looking through the cabinets. I knew that if they were misplaced it would take hours to look for them. I began to panic. Suddenly, I heard Briar's voice behind me. "Duncan, my office, now." I turned round and saw his back. He was already moving towards his office. As I got into my own office, I saw a bewildered Liz who signalled and mouthed to me, "What's happening?" I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. When I went into his office, he said, "Shut the door, won't you?" I shut the door and he asked me to take a seat. I sat down and waited for him to speak. Strangely, he did not look angry. "It looks as if I need to apologise to you." I just stared at him with a puzzled look. "Yesterday, I was out of the office when you came in with the files right?" I nodded my head. "Well, I was just finishing looking some forms for a loan I was thinking of taking. Anyway, when I came back, I simply put the files that were on my table and put them into my briefcase. When I reached home, I told my wife that all the files were in the briefcase and she took them. She just called me to tell me that there were some work files mixed with the files she took. I'm sorry for putting you through that just now." "I accept your apology. We all make mistakes sir." "Aren't you angry with me? I made you look like a fool in front of your colleagues." "No sir. In fact I'm glad the thing is sorted out. Don't worry. If anyone outside asks what happened, I'll just say that we managed to sort the missing files out. I won't say anything more." "You won't?" he asked. "No I won't. I'm not angry sir. Maybe a little disappointed over the fact that you didn't believe me but no, I'm not angry. We all have our little failings, sir. I'm also forgetful at times. We're not perfect people. Believe me. I won't make this little thing into something big. It's behind us." Briar was not happy. His frown became more intense. I didn't like this situation. However, I was not in control of the situation anymore. "You do know," he said, "that I've been making things difficult for you when I took over this office." "Yes sir, I know," I said truthfully. "Then you're not going to take sweet revenge using this incident?" "To what end, sir? Pardon me for saying this: Revenge will never achieve anything for me. We're still going to work together. I'd rather have a tense relationship than a hostile relationship." "I don't understand you, Duncan." "Do you want to understand me, sir?" "I ... I ..." Briar was looking uncertain at this point. "Answer me, sir. Why do you dislike me so?" "Uh ... uh ..." "You know about my medical condition and you don't like people like me to be near you. It angers you because there's is nothing you can do because of the company policy towards people like me." Briar nodded his head sheepishly. "Sir, if you've noticed, I don't go telling anyone about my ... " "One moment," Briar said suddenly, getting up. He moved to his door and opened it suddenly. Liz came tumbling in. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked a red-faced Liz. "Penny!" His secretary rushed in, also flushed. "Yes Mr. Briar." "When I'm having a private conference, I wish it to be private. I don't want anyone to be eavesdropping. I don't wish to have to state the consequences of eavesdropping on a private conference. Am I clear?" "Yes sir," Liz and Penny said in unison. Briar closed the door and I stood up. "Thank you Mr. Briar." "You don't have to thank me. You don't have to explain yourself either, Duncan. I know that you don't parade yourself. Except for me, no one here knows that you're ..." then he whispered, "gay." He looked towards the door and I knew that he was still afraid that someone would be eavesdropping. He sat down and I took my seat. "Eight years ago, I was a foolish boy. It has taken this ... this ..." Briar nodded his head, telling me that he understood. "I've grown a lot during the last eight years. I'm still who I am but I'm careful now because I don't want to cause grief to others." "I'm beginning to understand you a little more, Duncan." "Please call me Will, sir." "Thanks Will. I admit that I'm still afraid and uncomfortable but I'll try to change." "I understand. I won't be in your way too much, sir. Thank you. Can I go now?" I asked, getting up. "Yes. Thank you again." I simply nodded and began to walk towards the door. "Will," I heard Briar calling me. As soon as I faced him, he said, "I've never said this before: You're a good worker. Keep up the good work." I grinned and said, "Thank you, sir." I opened the door, but no one tumbled in. My colleagues started asking me what happened. I simply said that the issue with the files was settled. I didn't say anything more. Not even Liz had anything more from me. I left at the usual time, feeling a little more jolly than before. I got my groceries and reached home at five past five and went for my usual thirty minute jog. When I came back, I started doing some stretching exercises to cool down and then I was in the shower. I fixed myself some canned soup for dinner and went to Larry's as usual. Larry was a little more crowded than usual. There was a group of six celebrating something. I went to the counter and asked for a pint. The bartender was busy and did not talk much. I just handed him the money for the ale and I went towards my usual spot. I saw someone there and was disappointed. I saw him looking a little alarmed. I must have frowned. I put my mug in the next table and moved to him. "I normally sit here but no matter, I don't own the table," I said. I was about to turn to the next table when he said, "We could change tables, I didn't mean ..." I did alarm him. He was probably a tourist and I was not showing him any English hospitality at all. "No! Don't take it personally. I wasn't chasing you away. I was just explaining my frown just now. You don't have to get up on my account. As I said before, I don't own the place." "Well, you're welcome to join me. I'm alone and I see that you're alone as well," he said. "Thank you, but I think I'll sit by myself." I turned and then realised that I have just rejected this guy. What was I doing? I didn't want to start socialising again but this tourist was showing the hospitality that I was supposed to show him. How bad could I get? I decided to take him up on his offer. I grabbed my pint and moved towards him again and said, "I hope your offer still stands." "Yes, of course!" "My name's Will, Will Duncan." "I'm Philip Leung." I actually enjoyed our conversation though it was about superficial things like politics and the tourist sights. When I heard that he had gone to four places within one afternoon, I said, "I admire your stamina. I wouldn't be able to do all that within a day." "Surely you're joking. A man in his twenties shouldn't tire that easily." I laughed. "Do I look like I'm in my twenties? Maybe the light here isn't good. I'm already thirty-two." "Then how old do you think I am?" he asked. "I can't say because you're not English and I'm hopeless with Asian faces and ages. However, judging from the way you dress, I'd say you're in your early thirties yourself." "My dear Will," he said laughing, "I'm forty!" "Forty? Surely you're joking." "Like you said, I'm not an Englishman." "If you're forty, then I am even more impressed. You don't look like a forty year old man at all in English standards." "The light is dim. If it were brighter, you'd see the lines on my face and the flabby tummy I have. Young men don't have those." "Let me see." I took a step forward to look at his face a little more closely. His face did show some age lines, but he definitely didn't look like a forty year old man. Without warning, my eyes looked into his. I was surprised at what I felt when I looked into his eyes. I saw myself: loneliness, weariness and sadness. I don't know how long I looked into his eyes, but I shook myself away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It was very rude of me." Without waiting for a reply said, "I need to go back. I need to get to work tomorrow." "Bye! Nice to have met you. I had a good time talking with you," he said. I notice the awkwardness of his hand movement as he waved. I cursed myself. I shouldn't have looked into his eyes like that. It must have shocked him. I tried to show that there was nothing the matter as I said, "Nice to have met you too! Cheerio!" I hoped he wasn't too affected by what happened. I was not too sure about myself though. I felt my heart began to race. I wondered what it all meant. ----- to be continued.