Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2000 13:05:01 -0700 (PDT) From: shane macdonald Subject: Adam and I Chapter 1 Adam and I Chapter 1 "Welcome to my world" I sat there, as I have every night since he left, a cigarette burning in the ashtray in front of me, my fourth Bloody Mary almost finished. They know me here. I've been coming to Mike's Family bar for six weeks in a row, almost every day. The reason is simple - Adam. I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I am about 6'2". I have wavy brown hair, and deep blue eyes, or so people think. Contacts do wonders. For the most part I am usually in a suit of some sort. However one the day I am off, I prefer jeans and a t-shirt. Everyone tells me I have "the looks" to die for. I guess I am quite good looking, but not in comparison to Adam. I first met Adam five years ago. It was purely by accident. I was walking along the boardwalk, taking in the sights. It was the first warm day that year. Of course, I was wearing my three piece black business suit and trying to fit in. Adam approached me and asked for a cigarette. I obliged and we got to talking. I found him so attractive, I didn't say anything at first. He was just under six feet tall, with long blonde hair and deep green eyes. I could tell he worked out. His chest was muscular and tanned. Since he wasn't wearing a shirt, I noticed that his chest was also smooth. He had a certain way about him, very friendly and outgoing. We must have talked for hours that first day. He was so full of questions I could hardly keep up with him. "So, what brings you to the boardwalk?" He giggled. 'Great,' I thought, 'just what I need, a queen.' But I only said, "I needed to escape for a while." I knew I was being too serious for my own good, but Adam seemed to enjoy my company. "Why the suit?" "I was supposed to get married today." "I take it she left you at the altar." This conversation was taking a turn I didn't like. I had never told anyone I was gay, but somehow Sheila had figured out that I never really loved her. "She called off the wedding today." A single tear fell from my right eye. It was practiced and everyone else believed that it was real, everyone, that is, except Adam. "Be glad she did. A gay man marrying a woman is like a sheep marrying a mule. Neither will be happy." I couldn't help but laugh at his really bad but true statement. "I'm not out." "I know. And I know why." He gave me the look, the look that would eventually be my undoing. "And why is that?" I shouldn't have asked, but I did. "The same reason any closet fag isn't out. Fear. Fear of losing your nice job, your nice apartment. Fear of losing your friends, having your family turn against you." Adam took on a slightly bitter tone. I could tell this had all happened to him. I didn't know if I wanted to be so honest with a complete stranger, but I thought I would never see him again. "Care to get a beer?" I asked, wanting to get out of the heat. Black was definitely the wrong color for today. "I was wondering when you'd ask. Let's go to Kurt's. Nice family bar." He wandered away and I followed like a lust-filled fool. 'What are you doing?' I asked myself. 'You're 25 years old, the youngest executive your firm has ever had. If they find out about this, you're fired.' We arrived at the bar. It was a low lit, nicely decorated, clean bar, far from what I imagined a gay bar was like. The only way I knew it was a gay bar was the pride flags all over the place. We sat and drank our beers in silence for a while. All the time, my eyes were glued to Adam's smooth chest. I hadn't felt this way about anyone, let alone a guy. Funny how things work. This morning I wanted to become a monk. Now, all I wanted to do was hold Adam all night long. The afternoon turned into evening and Adam got quite drunk. Since I was driving, I switched to Coke after three beers. The bar filled up quickly after eight o'clock. My mouth dropped as a stunning and tall young lady came over to our table and hugged Adam. She then, in a very deep voice, introduced herself as Vivian, the hostess for the drag show. "Adam," she said, "did you remember to bring your dress for tonight?" "But of course, beautiful. Have I ever let you down?" Adam slurred his words. "Too many times to count, honey. Just be in costume by eleven, okay? OKAY." With that, she walked away. Turning to me, Adam smiled and looked at his watch. "Shit, it's ten thirty. Can you help me into my costume, Richard?" "Sure," I smiled back and we made our way to a dressing room. With the door closed, I thought Adam would simply want help getting his costume on, but I got a surprise when I turned to face him. He was less than two feet from me and he laid a kiss on me that I'll remember until my dying day. I was shocked into silence. I quickly got his costume ready and made no mention of the kiss. I was too embarrassed and turned-on to think or talk about it. Once I got him into costume, I had to get his makeup on for him. "Thank God for three sisters," I sighed as I applied his lipstick. Standing back to look at the transformation, I could only chuckle. "What's wrong, is my wig crooked?" He turned to the mirror, acting the total wreck. "Nothing's wrong, Adam. I was just thinking, with that outfit on, I could introduce you to my parents and they would never know you were a man." "MEN!" he screamed and kissed me again. This time I kissed him back. Unfortunately, it meant redoing his lipstick. But that was a small price to pay. The drag show was, for me, more fun than I'd had in years. Afterward, I asked Adam if he needed a lift home. "Of course I do, since I have no idea where you live." He batted his eyelashes and I melted. "Shall we, then?" I offered my arm. "Such a gentleman." He took the proffered arm and we left the bar. Half the night was spent strolling arm in arm along the boardwalk where we met. Finally, at four in the morning, we arrived back at my condo. Adam was flabbergasted that I lived in a three story, 3 bedroom condo alone. That night was the first time I had shared a bed with anyone. The most beautiful part was that nothing happened. Adam curled up next to me, kissed me good night, and fell asleep playing with the hair on my chest. I didn't fall asleep until almost six. I just wanted to lie there and listen to his gentle snoring. I played with his hair and thought about the day. The next morning I woke up around eleven. Bad habit, sleeping in on Saturdays. When I woke up, I was alone in the bedroom. I felt a twinge of loneliness for the first time. I wondered, as I showered, if Adam had left a note before departing, or not. As I made my way down to the kitchen to make coffee, I was greeted by the smell of bacon and eggs cooking. A smile came across my face. He was still here. The table was set for two. I walked into the kitchen and found Adam wearing one of my bathrobes. I, of course, was wearing the other. "Oh," he said, "you're finally up. Coffee?" "Please," I said, accepting the cup. I couldn't help myself. I kissed him gently on the cheek. "Thanks for last night." "No problem. I knew you weren't ready and I had no condoms anyway." I smiled. Whatever happens, I know at least that I have a friend. To be continued. . . This series is dedicated to my boyfriend Steve. Thank you for encouraging me to write in a new genre and for helping me polish this up. All my love, Shane. I also want to thank Ed for helping me with this story. This is my first experience at writing a story. Please feel free to email your comments to: shane_macdonald@excite.com