Date: Sat, 17 Jun 2017 20:50:49 +0000 From: Max Dowling Subject: Aydens Eyes 16 Ayden's Eyes 16 Donations to Nifty are gratefully accepted. 16 We were all over the place in the morning and the sheet was wrapped so tightly around my legs I had to virtually peel it off me, Evan of course was showing all his glory and Ayden was calling, "Da da dah." "Coming," I said, Evan stirred. "What time is it?" "Seven bubs, got to go, get Ayden." "Okay, bring him in here with us." "You got it." I changed bubs who smiled for days then he was interested in his feet again. I placed him down on our bed with Evan and went to our small kitchenette and made coffee. When I got back they both were asleep again so I left them to it. I will sort through my paintings today and put thirty aside, it didn't leave me with much stock left, but it is winter. I don't expect to sell much because there is no one around. There were a few backpackers on the beach but I suppose they will dwindle down to nothing over the coming weeks. I started packing them while making sure they were all signed and finished. I had my lounge room full of crates, it was overtaken by them. I hadn't told Evan yet but I had to get them to Tony's shop by the following weekend. I could do the trip in one-day, maybe a three-hour round trip if I leave here early. I can be back by the time Ayden's finished his afternoon nap. "What's with all the crates Den?" Horse asked when I went outside to sit with them. "I'm shipping them to London, there's a dealer there who sells them for me. I have to drop them at Tony's shop by next weekend, we will share a small container because he's got furniture to send." "Oh, is his shop big?" "It's more of a warehouse Horse, his art is everywhere and yes, it's big." I smiled. "Den, why don't you get dad to drop them off, he's got to go into town sometime over the next few weeks?" It was Blue who was suggesting it. "That's true, I do have to go into town so just chuck them on the back of the ute and I'll drop them off." Horse sounded eager. "You could maybe take Tony out to dinner while you're there dad, maybe stay a few nights'?" Blue was grinning. Horse went bright red and Blue was letting him know that he knows Tony and he have a connection. I was proud of that boy and shook my head. "You never cease to amaze me Blue," I said to him later on. "Well I have known about dad for a long time, mum used to call him the bum bandit but don't tell him that Den, he would be hurt. I did catch him screwing a guy on the beach in WA but he didn't see me, I guess like father, like son." He smiled. "Well for what it's worth I think you both are amazing human beings, if someone had told me two years ago I would fall in love with Evan I would have laughed at them. The most beautiful man in the world walked into my life and changed it forever when my wife died, so anything's possible Blue, Tony's a lovely man and suits your dad perfectly." "How does Tony feel Den?" I thought about it for a minute then said, "He's in love." "Good, so is dad, I can tell. Maybe I will get him to stay a few nights, maybe buy some theatre tickets so he has to hang around a couple of days." He grinned at me. "You do that but don't be surprised if Tony moves here and opens a second outlet." "I'll look forward to it. I want dad to be as happy as I am, if it involves Tony then I'm happy with that. I will never forgive mum for what she did to us." "Is she still alive Blue?" I hadn't asked either of them and was curious. "Yeah and still in the same house in Sale although I haven't seen her in four years, I really don't think I want to Den, I'm afraid of what I will say now." "As long as you feel no guilt Blue it's good but if you need to clear the air with her then go for it." "Nah, you know Den, she did change overnight. I found she was doing my washing and my meals got better, she even gave me a small allowance. I suppose that was after dad attacked her." "You know why he had to do that, don't you?" "Yes Den, she was a real pain before that. I remember she got a check from dad every month without fail, there are a lot of things I had forgotten but it's all coming back now. I love my dad and I want him to be happy Den, so I'm certainly not going to stand in his way with Tony." "Have you told him that?" "No Den." "I suggest you tell him; he's agonizing over it because he doesn't want to lose you again." "Well I had better go, he's waiting on the beach, thanks Den." "Have fun." I watched as his powerful legs carried him and his board down the track. Ayden was playing in the beanbag and I had put a top on him because it was cool today, the t-shirt looked out of place. I painted away to my heart's content as his singing brought those butterflies out to play in my stomach. I had an urge to paint him so I got a large canvas out and started drawing. Another family painting, alas the urge was too great. I drew him on the beach in his shorts, no nappy this time. The bright truck, bucket and spade were there but forgotten. I drew him with his big toe in his mouth and he was looking like he had won the lottery. It was so cute, his floppy hat had half fallen off and was tethered on his shoulder, and his eyes squinted in the sun but not too much, I wanted his blues in it too. Two hours later I was putting the paint on and as an extra touch I put Evan in the distance surfing a wave, he looked a little animated but it worked. The shadow from Ayden's body was long, indicating it was late afternoon. When I looked at him again he had that foot in his mouth but had gone to sleep sucking on his big toe. I took a photo for Evan. "Look, look, he did it at last bubs, look at the photo." I showed Evan when he came in. "Den he's been doing that for the past two weeks." He laughed. "Why didn't I ever see him do it?" "Because you're not looking at the right time." "Did you shower?" "Yes." "Come on I'll lotion you up." "Groan." I loaded Horse's truck then he covered it with a tarpaulin. The build was coming along beautifully, his men didn't turn up every day but when they were there they worked hard, the frame was up and the roof on. It will start raining soon and they were hoping to do the walls before it came. Not much work will be done during winter. Evan and I had made a list of things to buy and Horse gave it the okay. Tiny told us to go to The Electrical Store in Sale; his brother in law owned it so he will see we get a good discount. "How many brother in laws have you got Tiny?" "I had five sisters so do the math Den." He grinned. We decided to store the stuff in the garage with Evan's extra stock, it was watertight. Evan, Ayden and I dressed and headed for Sale. Tiny's brother in law was great and was so funny. Ayden was passed around by the shop girls but his eyes never left us. We ordered the fridges and air cons and he looked at our list and said, "My brother in law owns the hardware shop, I'll just give him a ring." What the fuck? We dropped some serious cash at both shops and after loading up Evan's SUV we headed for home. There was a small camper van parked in the driveway with Trip leaning over the engine. "Three grand boys, it's in great shape and everything works, even has an outdoor shower." The perfect surf van with a pop-top so he can stand up in it and plenty of room for Evan's boards, because now he had three of them. He was all over it and the excitement on his face was priceless. I took Ayden inside and left him with Alex then I went to find some cash. "I'll pay for it Den." "No it's a present for you bub, from me and your son." He let it go as I handed the cash over to Trip, who reassured us it was a good buy and we were staggered it was so cheap. Of course when the boys saw it they all wanted to book a bed but unfortunately it only slept three. I told the boys that they could borrow it but only when Evan's not going to use it, so Blue and Alex booked it for two weeks, they wanted to go to Phillip Island for a while. When it was run past Evan and okayed, they almost jumped for joy. There were storm clouds coming over the horizon so we put it in the oversized garage with the rest of the stuff we had bought. Tomorrow Trip and Evan will go through the features, get the gas bottles and fresh water organized then it should be ready to go. The storm hit quickly and was thunderously loud as the fierce winds battered the coast, it was a freak storm that disappeared nearly as quickly as it had appeared. Evan had just put Ayden down then he came back to the porch to make sure everything was tied down. I was sitting with Horse and Evan just storm watching as the loose tin on the roof rattled, then I heard an almighty crash of twisted metal, the sound was deafening. "Ayden!!" I jumped up and ran for his bedroom where the wind had taken the back part of the roof off and Ayden's ceiling had collapsed. I could hear him screaming and stood there and silently screamed. Horse and Evan worked on clearing the debris away and when they got to his cot he was still screaming; it had frightened him but thank God he was unharmed. I took him in my arms and sobbed into his frail little body. The boys gathered from nowhere, someone had brought a tarpaulin and they worked for the next two hours in the wind to secure the gaping hole the roof. The twisted metal had landed on our vacant block next door. Thank god Rita was staying with her family because her bedroom ceiling had come down too and her room was a mess. I sat with Ayden in my arms and when Evan tried to take him but I held fast, the shaking had returned and I just wasn't thinking. Ayden let out a sob every now and then and was dog-tired so I took a blanket from our bed and walked him down to the garage. When I crawled into the van I held his head and made sure he was safe. In my arms he finally settled down and went back to dreamland. I woke when Evan crawled in and moved behind me and held me, it brought back so many sad memories. I checked Ayden was comfortable before I went back to sleep. The next morning it was like it never happened, the tarpaulin flapped in the gentle breeze as Horse assessed the damage. "How bad is it?" "Nothing that can't be fixed Den, I suggest a new roof though. Your insurance will pay for that." He grinned so I left it to him. While the boys cleared away all the debris, a truck full of volunteers arrived to help. I dressed Ayden in his shorts and took him down to the beach. The swell was big so we lay in the shade I nestled him on my shoulder. Occasionally he would hit me, I didn't care because he was unscathed and I gave him many, many kisses and hugs. The crying started not long after we settled in. It began with a sniff and ended with full on sobbing, it had scared me and my internal pain was back as I tightly held my son. "Den please, this is not good, see it as it is, there was no harm done and he's safe." Evan found me. "What if next time we aren't so lucky, what if he was taken from us? I worry all the time about it and you, the rocks, the sharks, the undercurrent." I sniffled. "Den I promise you, I'm as safe as houses, you can't do this to yourself anymore." "I know, I just got scared that's all, I'm sorry." Ayden had gone off to sleep and I still held him close and could feel his short breaths on my neck. Evan's light kissing had calmed me down a little and I was so grateful nobody was harmed. "I'm sorry, I try to be so strong for you both but I'm terrified underneath." "Shush, shush Den, just breathe deeply and try to have a nap, I'll be here when you wake up." I did what he told me to do and the quick beat of Ayden's breath and Evan's kisses sent me off to sleep. We had been there for almost two hours Evan had dropped off to sleep too. I noticed the twine was tied around Ayden's ankle and to his wrist. He is always looking out for us so I should have manned up and shouldn't have been so weak. Only Evan knows how I'm feeling all the time, he lived through it with me. He stirred just as Ayden decided to wake up. "Da da dah." He got me fair and square on the nose this time, I moaned. "Den I haven't even started on you and you're already moaning," Evan groaned into my ear. His eyes were still closed but that didn't stop his son. "Da." Slap, I guess if ones up then all are up. I started tickling him and his laugh was straight from heaven, I loved hearing it. Evan hauled himself up on one arm and with the other he gave Ayden the truck we leave down here in a sort of toy box. That made him squeal. "I can make you squeal like that bub." "You sure can Den, you feeling better?" "Yes thanks to you, a lot better." I jumped up because I wanted a pee so I headed for the bushes and let go. I was listening to Ayden trying to make engine noises but Evan did it better. "How far did they get with the clean up?" "Almost all done by the time I came to look for you. The tarp will be just fine until we can get the insurance assessor out, but Den I think we should put a new roof on all of it just to be safe." "I agree bub; I would feel a lot better with it all done." "Well our bedroom ceiling has been deemed safe so we can all sleep in there, unfortunately Rita's ceiling came down so she can stay in one of our spare rooms or at Riley's." "How long before it will be done?" "A couple of weeks, they usually put a priority on natural disasters. Horse will do the new roof and he's already making a calculation on what stuff he will need." "Is the house safe Evan?" "Yes, the SES had an engineer with them and he said it's as solid as a rock, it was just the loose iron that caught the draught and lifted it." "Okay, I'll take your word for it." And I did because I trusted Evan more than anyone else in this world. My little breakdown was put aside and we collected our stuff then walked back to the house. The volunteers had already left leaving a big pile of rubbish out front for their rubbish collector to pick up. Rita ran over and checked us out, she had heard about the freak accident on the radio and immediately came to our aid. Her flat was okay, just no roof in her bedroom. She didn't mind because being with the grand kids was keeping her busy, so she just gathered some clothes she would need. I looked into her cafe kitchen and it was untouched. The boys had finished what they had to do to secure the place then Rita turned the cook top on to make some hamburgers, I didn't know what stock she had but she seemed to pull stuff out of nowhere. I sat with them in the usual place up our end of the porch and Horse stared at me while Tiny tried to make conversation with Evan. Ayden had been placed beside me on a bean bag; again his toes were again the focus of his attention and my hand was never far from him. Horse went to help Rita and after half an hour came back with a tray stacked with hamburgers. He passed them around and this time Rita sat with us. After five minutes Horse spoke between bites. "Evan I'm going to strengthen the roof with galvanized steel so it won't rust, then I'm going to put reinforcement across the back part above the bedroom ceilings." "That's a bit extreme isn't it Horse?" Tiny was saying. "Not really, if I do it that way it could get hit by a flying tank and not come down. I think it's safer that way, especially with the weather around these parts." "Yeah, but reinforcement? You use that for driveways and concreting," Tiny went on. "Tiny, you do it your way, I'll do it mine, I want to strengthen the ceilings and the roof." "Have it your way then but I don't think it's necessary." "I will," Horse said gruffly then went back to his chips and burger. Rita said farewell while I washed up and cleaned down the table and I offered coffee which was a big mistake, I had to make eight cups but they only got instant, the cafe's espresso machine was turned off. We sat there into the night as Evan handed beer around, I didn't have any and I didn't put Ayden to bed either. I wanted to sleep in the van again; somehow the thick brick walls of the garage seemed welcoming. "Den why don't you go and have a shower, Ayden's fine with us?" Evan was trying to get me moving again so I checked my boy and went to the bathroom. It was intact so I turned the water on and stripped off. I had been getting flashbacks all afternoon and when I stepped into the shower I saw a picture of Ayden's broken body with black eyes. I felt electric shocks gripping my body, the worst shocks were in my brain. It was so real and full on I started screaming at the top of my lungs, I didn't even know I was doing it until Evan burst into the room followed by six burly surfers. I had slipped onto the bathroom floor and was holding myself and weeping into my forearms, that image of Ayden's broken body didn't leave me for at least another twenty-four hours, and it lingered in the back of my mind for weeks after. The guys took one look at me and thought they had better leave Evan to deal with it, he gently spoke to me then stroked my face. I tried to look him in the eye but I knew all I would see would be Ayden's and I didn't want that image to come back, not ever. Broken kids, broken bodies, twisted legs and smashed skulls, it was all in there and at the center was Ayden. "Come on Den, let's get you to bed." "No." "Den, you need to sleep." He caressed my mind. "No, where's Ayden?" "He's with Horse." I pulled myself up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my waist I walked out to the porch. "Sorry guys," was all I said then I gently took Ayden and walked around to the garage. Evan wasn't far behind me, he made me take a pill Tiny had provided and that's all I remember, I do remember feeling safe. In the morning Ayden and Evan weren't there, I didn't panic and last nights' visions were gone, even though deep down I still felt them. I walked into the kitchen and made a coffee and could see through the shop where Horse had Ayden on his lap. I moved to the back porch mainly out of embarrassment and wished the boys would go away and leave Evan and me on our own. I wanted so much for him to hold me. After twenty minutes Horse sat next to me and still had Ayden in his arms. "It scared all of us Den, you know we think the world of Ayden, you and Evan. When my ex was beating up on my beautiful son I dragged her into an alleyway and strangled her within an inch of her life. So I know how you feel, how protective you are of him. I know what you went through with your wife, no Evan didn't tell me, I had to beat it out of Rita. So I want you to understand that while we are around nothing is going to happen to you all." He placed his hand on mine. "I will strengthen the roof and put cage wire across the ceilings so nothing will make them fall down. I will make this house as safe as a bunker. What I want you to do is forgive yourself; you couldn't help your dear wife and you didn't foresee the ceiling falling in, so they were accidents. Ayden wasn't hurt, but you were deeply and if you want to cry or scream around us boys then you go right ahead because we all have our secrets, we all cry; and when it gets too painful we all scream." "I'm sorry Horse, I suppose I'm just feeling a little stupid at the moment." "Donk's wife has been fucking around on him for a few years. She was his best friend once but he now accepts that someone else holds her heart so he has to go off and surf to get some peace and quiet, he screams in the surf." "Nut's wife and baby died in the black Friday bushfires, she couldn't get off the property and he couldn't get to her, from the side road he watched her run from the house burning alive, their baby daughter in her arms. He screams Den, he screams when he thinks we can't hear him, when the waves are big and loud; we all hear him because we are all screaming along with him." "Trip's fiancé died in a road accident, I will spare you the details Den but that's why we are all here, we are connected, we all grieve, we all scream." He passed Ayden over to me and I heard, "Da da." I couldn't even imagine what these guys are going through, my god, but maybe I do, yet they don't have Evan to fall back on, just themselves. I played with my son for a moment then joined them, awful images were plaguing my head but I fought them off. Later on I joined the boys, there were no eyes staring at me and no comments made, the only one that spoke was Tiny who asked Evan to break out the beers. I asked him to boil the kettle on his way back. The boys got very merry, it was a different night tonight, I showered and it felt good, I then put Ayden in his cot beside our bed. I crawled in after saying good night to some true friends and Evan was beside me within half an hour. He had showered and smelt wonderful and instead of him holding me, I turned him around and tightly held him. My dick was nudging his crack but somehow it wasn't the right moment. My hands ran up and down his perfect body then rested on his ample chest, my favorite place to be, hidden under his now longish hair and lightly kissing his long neck. He moved back in to me so I nudged his leg up and placed my member between his thighs. I moved back and forward a few times but sleep found me and called me to it's peaceful embrace. In the morning everything was so different, there were no boys on the porch to greet us and Evan said they had gone surfing early. "Why didn't you go with them?" "I wanted to make sure you were okay first Den, and I need to talk to you about something." "Oh I'll make coffee then we can talk bubs, can you grab Ayden?" "Sure Den." He picked our son up and kissed him on the cheek and Ayden was saying over and over, "Ups dada, ups." I felt good as I made us some toast then piled up my tray and went to join them. Ayden was on the floor doing some gymnastic moves but I have no idea what he was trying to do. "Now what's up?" "Not a lot Den, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go into the city for a few days, like maybe different surroundings for awhile, we can do some shopping, things like that?" "Are you trying to get rid of me?" "No, of course not, I just thought you might like a change of scenery that's all, I'll come with you." "No thanks, I'm happy right here where I should be, but why don't we take a run down to Phillip Island on the weekend, you know, test the van out?" "Sounds good to me Den, we could stay a couple of nights, just the three of us." "Good now finish your coffee and we will escort you down to the beach." As soon as I said that Ayden stopped doing his morning exercises and pulled himself up. He held onto the chairs and I took his hand as he clumsily made his way over to me laughing, I placed him on my knee and put a little bit of toast in his mouth. He will be walking soon I think. I quickly got milk and juice for him then packed my pencils and a couple of blank canvasses and by this time Evan had his wet suit on and his board under his arm. He took my backpack as I scooped Ayden up then we walked down the path. I set myself up under the shady tree then tied the twine onto Ayden's ankle and my wrist and it was long enough to give him some freedom, then I unfolded the blanket and shoved his milk into his gob. His toes got another workout as he sucked on his drink. As I sketched straight onto the canvas I was trying to capture the seven bodies that were at various stages of surfing. I did Evan's first, he was easy, I had him on top of this huge wave grinning from ear to ear and the other boys I placed either wiping out or waiting for the next wave. I put Blue in the forefront, he had just finished a run and was heading out again. Mind you it was hard to imagine that scene because the waves were not as big as the ones I drew. Evan told me later on that they were okay waves and something about them being almost ankle busters. God knows what that means. Ayden had nodded off again so I placed a blanket over him; god this kid spends three quarters of his life asleep. I stood back and admired my work; I will paint that one first. I prepared the other canvas and looked at Ayden again, I had to resist painting yet another one of him so I settled for a photo on my phone. I sat and looked at it for ages with my pencil at the ready; that's when I saw it out of the corner of my eye, I knew that I had to paint it so I put the phone away. A Yacht came around the point in full sail, it was really moving so I quickly drew it's brightly colored sails then I did a silly thing, I put a ski line behind it and attached an animated surfer on his board being dragged behind. It looked silly but surprisingly it worked. By the time I had it set, Ayden was rousing from his nap. The sun had gone behind some clouds and it got quite chilly all of a sudden so I put his little sweater on and some cool track pants. It was too cold for him to go for a swim so I started packing up, I needed to paint. I waved to the boys and walked my boy up to the house. While I stood momentarily in the back yard it looked like a bomb had hit it. With the new build and the roof gone our lovely home was a mess but Horse had assured us that everything will be done by mid winter. I made bubs some lunch and sat on the porch to feed him with his high chair at the ready, but he wanted to eat on my knee. We played airplanes and I made a lot of silly noises to distract him while I shoved spoon after spoon into his mouth. He had nearly eaten it all by the time he realized he had been had, then he started shaking his head from side to side. The juice came next and he sucked away on it while lying on his beanbag. I set my easel up and started painting while he talked away to himself. Rita had been here because I found her note saying she was still at Riley's for the next couple of days, she had left plenty of food in her freezer for us to help ourselves. The day was getting blustery so I moved into the lounge room and lit the fire. I could hear some of the boys in the back yard and when I looked out Evan was with them. "The waves have picked up Den, but the boys were hungry, is Rita back yet?" "No but she must have come by because she left a note." Five of them came in and warmed themselves by the fire then someone had an idea. They went out to the porch and carried my table inside. "Now whose cooking burgers?" They all looked at me, I shrugged and went back to my work. "Okay come on Blue, Alex, show me where it all is," Horse said. He will leave tomorrow to go into town and I hope it doesn't rain, but my stuff should be water tight, hopefully. Blue and Alex turned the griddle on then got the makings out of the fridge, they turned the coffee machine on and the deep fryer. I think they will cook up a storm tonight, I told them to write everything down they used and I will replace it when I go into town next. After forty minutes my table was covered in food and I was feeling a little hungry myself so I put my brush down and moved over to the table. Ayden's high chair had found a spot and he happily sat there playing with his toy cars. Evan and the boys sorted through the food, they had to make up their own burgers from the fare that was presented. I made a smaller one for me but when I had taken three bites I thought I probably could do with more so I started adding stuff. I was so full after, I almost couldn't move, so Blue decided he would make the coffees for everyone and Alex helped. The fire roared into life after Tiny put a big log on it and our medium sized room was heating up beautifully, in fact I opened the bedroom and bathroom doors to let the heat flow through. Horse said he would be away for three days and his builders would get onto doing the roof when he gets back. "It won't take long Den, only a few days, it's all being pre fabricated." "Great thanks Horse, I wish it hadn't happened but I'm glad we've got you to rely on." "It's my pleasure boys, just don't forget our deal." "Oh we won't, that's for sure." They started talking about going out and looking at the surf and I could tell it was rough because I could hear it pounding on the shore. "It's too choppy for surfing Donk, you will do yourself an injury in that." Horse was on to it. The night was late and as I passed around blankets and keys to the stays, I bid my bodyguards a good night. Ayden was fast asleep on his rug and Evan had nodded off in a beanbag. I got Ayden settled in first and then went to get Evan. I made sure the fire screen was safely in its place but before I did, I threw another big log on the fire. I might price a slow burning wood heater when I'm in town next, they are safer; and with my paintings hanging around they would be kept clean from all the smoke. Evan crawled into bed and I spooned him. My dick was getting happy but he needed to sleep; such a tiring life he leads. I tossed and turned all night and woke early and was so randy that I would have fucked anything. I played with Evan's body for a while then heard, "Den get the lube, for fucks sake." That was my cue; I was onto that ass within seconds and I thoroughly enjoyed using it.