Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:35:15 -0500 From: Retta Michaels Subject: Can You Catch My Heart - Buckets Of Blessings - Chapter 011 Can You Catch My Heart Book One Buckets Of Blessings Chapter Eleven By Retta Michaels Disclaimer: If your laws do not allow you to read this story, then don't. All the rest of you people who read it, if you think it's true, boy, have I investment opportunities for you! Notes From Retta: I really appreciate the emails everyone has sent. They mean a lot to me. I am excited a story such as this has garnered such a following. Starting in April, I'll be posting the first chapter of "Dead Air" and alternating with the first chapter of "Chains of Love" since they follow the same story line. I will save "Prayers of Thanks" until the end. The love story is so beautiful, I think it needs it's own release. Be sure to look for my new story "With This Ring" starting in April. I'm still undecided what section I'll post it on Nifty. Read and enjoy. Chapter 11: The sun was just coming up when I got the last article loaded. Ben loaded the bodies and what was interesting was Ben was backing out of the yard when the first neighbor materialized and asked what happened. "The man went berserk, killed a son, and beat his other son and wife ruthlessly. Then, he had a heart attack." "The raised eyebrows of the neighbors believed every syllable. One person who looked familiar walked away muttering, "I knew it would come to this." I went over and closed the door. The splintered frame needed repaired, but not by me. I went over and put the truck into gear. I flipped the phone open and dialed as I drove. He answered I said, "Where you at?" "His mom is in the hospital and he's here with me" "Where are you at?" "We just pulled up to the house." "Tell him I need to speak with him, but there's no time. Ask him if the name "Buddy" rings a bell and ask him if a house on Paris Avenue that was gray tar paper brick reminds him of a memory." Ty asked the question and said, "Lance?" "Yeah." "He's curled up in a little ball crying." "Tell him it's ok that his dad's not going to get him." I heard Ty tell him and Chance mutter back, "He wasn't my dad. The man at that house Lance referred to was my dad." "Yeah, tell him Buddy won't bother him anymore. Tell him I'm his cousin." "What!" "Yeah, Chance's real dad was my uncle." "Oh my God!" "Yeah." "What about Chance's dad? Is he in jail?" "No, he died of a heart attack. His brother committed suicide while strapped on the gurney." "How!" "He cut through his femoral artery with that knife he tried killing you with." "Serves that fucker right." "Well, both are going to be cremated. I want them both to burn." Ty stopped and said, "Lance, what we're doing isn't right. Let's let Chance make that decision." "Ok, but tell him it doesn't matter which he decides because the feds are taking care of it." "How?" "They were arrested by Ben on federal charges." "Were they really?" "I don't know. I was downstairs packing up Chance's room and one time I saw Ben in holding his law book standing over the body like he was reading last rites or some sort of thing so he could have read the charges to him;." Ty chuckled ands aid, "Babe, I love you. Promise me tonight I'll get to sleep with you?" "I promise." "Good." When I got to the funeral home, I pulled the flower truck up to the side of the garage and backed in. One thing I hate is trying to look at mirrors as I back up. Either things are too close or they're too far apart. This time. The truck jarred to a stop and I saw the eave trough dented flat. Who would of thought that thing would be so low? I was looking at the wall and still had plenty of space. Oh well, a call to seamless guttering and it'd get taken care of if I couldn't get up there with a four by six to pound it out." When I went in, I heard voices everywhere and not one of them were in the garage concerned about a body or two laying around. I called Gregg in and as soon as he came in, he took a look at the bodies and said, "They just left them here!" "Well yeah, they were in a hurry." "Oh man, we've been having people coming by for an early viewing by people on their way to work." "I knew I needed to put in a drive thru window." "No, mom wouldn't have liked that." "She didn't do drive thrus?" "No, she was strictly a sit down sort of person." "Oh, well, she's getting that now." He smiled and said, "Even if a few extra dead bodies decided to show up and crash her funeral." "Yeah, we've got to get these things downstairs." "How'd things go over there?" "It was a mess. I need to have you look at my elbow later, but right now I've got to get these bodies moved. And see if the one's are put away in the basement." "How bad do you mean things were messed up." 'Well, this time, Heather did show up in time to be of help. I had the dad laying out in the front yard and Glad disabled in the hallway. I told Ty to watch the dad while I went to find Chance. Sometime, Ty went in and the dad and the brother got loose. Heather put the dad back out in the front yard and I took the brother down and was about to take him out when Chance told me no. Then after Chance talked with the brother, he got told some really hateful stuff and then Chance ok'd taking the brother out. By then, I was ready for him to be arrested so we strapped him to a gurney while Chance and the mom got taken to the hospital Then, the dad came and we had words when he found out I knew who his lover was." "Who? What lover?" "The father's." "Huh?" "Yeah, ancient history. It turns out my uncle was the dad's lover." "Oh man!" "Yeah, but the one that will blow everyone out of the water is Chance is my cousin." "WHAT!" "Yeah, I had a cousin that disappeared and for the life of me, I never knew where he went. What I always supposed was he got put in foster care. Maybe I'm putting one and one together and getting something wrong, but when I asked him about it, he said he was" "Oh man, what a heckuva thing!" "Yeah, who would want to be that!" "No, You know what I mean ya goof! I mean what are the odds of you and your cousin being gay and having the same tastes in guys. Both of you wanted Ty!" "Well, it just proves we've got good tastes." "Sorry Charley! Gregg wants Tuna that tastes good!" "Ooh, I'm telling!" "Don't you dare!" "Love ya Gregg! You're still my bro even in my house is filling with family today." "Well, it's good because you're world's coming together and it couldn't happen to a better person." "Thanks." "Wow, Look at this mess down here!" "Yeah, Ty was in a hurry." "Yeah, but I hope he can make sense out of this mess." "He will." "Hon, you have no clue how blond your brother is, do you?" "What'd he do now?" "You know how we refer to the bodies as Jane Doe and John Doe?" "Yeah, and occasionally, I'll see a Mary Jane Doe" "Well, he thought those were the people's actual names. Then, when the plane landed, there's a guy on the plane that Chance is going to meet who was hot for both Chance and Ty." "Oh, he likes twinks." "Yeah, but Ty asked him his name after he notice one of the body's was John Doe and remarked it was another member of the family." "Oh man!" "Yeah, so Ty asked Jim his name and Jim said, "Jim, Jim Doe"!" "And, don't tell me Ty walked into that one." "Deep ended he did!" "Oh man just like the Nestea plunge." "Jim laughed and said basicly that the lights were off so nobody must be home." Finally. After a while, Ty caught on." "My brother! What we need to do sometime is get those name tags and put everyone in the family as having the our first name and then the last name Doe!" "Yeah, that'd be funny." "Yeah, Ty wouldn't think it would be funny but we would." "No, what he'd do is he'd get even and get me a Pillsbury dough boy and tell me he likes my doe nuts." "Let's do that at your wedding. We'd have everyone put on the name tags and get the preacher to announce you Mr and Mr Doe." "He'd die of embarrassment." "Yeah, but it'd be good for the rehearsal." "I'm not sure if I can wait that long." "Well, we'll find you a police officer's uniform and have you arresting him for his doe nuts." I laughed real loud and Mark came in. "Mark, how are you today?" "I'm ok, I was told you wanted to speak to me." "Yeah, it's about Jeremy." "Ok What about him?" "Stay away from him. He's bad news." "In which way?" "Let's just say he likes to pull wings of insects and things like that." "Oh." "Yeah, but we've got another prospect lined up if you're interested." "Really!" "Yeah, I have no idea who the guy is, but I do know he's a helluva pilot. You should have seen that man fly a plane this morning." Both he and Gregg got told about how the guy landed the plane and Mark was all ears. I said, "When Chance gets here, have him call Jim and see what the pilot's name is and set you two up." "Ok, How's Chance doing?" "It's going to be rough. He lost both his dad and his brother this morning." "Oh man, poor guy." "Yeah, I'm not sure if we're having a funeral, or what, but I do know it's just he and his mom now." Gregg's eyebrows shot up. Really!" "Yeah, his mom was beaten up bad." "Oh man. What's she look like?" "She looks like Chance. I thought she was him when she was laying on the floor getting beaten up." "You think she'd be interested in Dad?" "I don't know. But we could see. Heather and Ty will have them with them, I'm sure." We got the bodies sorted by numbers and put them in the morgue in numerical order. I pulled the one that needed to go up to the crematorium and put it over into our short term morgue. Somewhere in all of my activities, I hadn't noticed that in order to have a viewing, you had to have a body. Yeah, I was in sore need of sleep, but to say I was startled when I looked for her casket in the short term morgue was unsettling. Gregg noticed my reaction and said, "Bro, you need to get in and sleep. I imagine Ty does too, but the sleep deprivation is getting to you." "Yeah, but there's so much that needs to be done. Sometime, those television crews are going to show and we've got to go pull the tarps off the sidewalks." Mark said, "Let me go get Jake and then Gregg and us will go get that done. Jake knows where everything else is and we'll need to do that. You can lay down for a short nap and then, you'll have that bit of rest." "Ok Everything else should be fine, but I need to order a bunch of food from the catering part of County Market." Gregg said, "Aunt Joan's already got that lined up." "Ok, then, what else needs done?" "Nothing. Everyone else is pulling together." "Good. Then, I'll go lay down." I went in and laid down. No sooner had I gotten my eyes closed, my cellphone went off. I woke and answered it to find it was Chance calling. "Hi hon" "Lance, tell them to come back and get me." "Where you at?" "They kept me at the hospital for observation." "And, where'd they go?" "They are going back to the funeral home." "Where's your mom?" "She's with them." "They left you by yourself?" "Yeah, I don't want to be here." "Chance, I'll be right there. Stay put." I got up and when I stepped out into the hall, I saw Joan. She said, "Hon, you need to get sleep." "Them dumb asses left Chance at the hospital by himself." "They said he was supposed to be admitted for observation." "And, how would you feel if you were suddenly left alone after everything he's been through. He wants to come home. I'm going to get him." "Lance, Don't." "What!" "Honey, he needs to be there. They can't figure out where the blood was coming from." "What sort of hospital cant figure out where blood comes from!" "No, they don't know if he has a torn trachea or if it's a bronchial tube, but something is bleeding there and the doctor can't tell without putting a scope down. They're going to do that just as soon as a doctor can get to him." "Then, someone should have stayed with him. I'll go." "You need sleep. How about if someone here in the family goes and they get him to stay." "Ok, but explain that to him. He feels all alone." "I know." "And Joan, tell them he needs rest just as bad as the rest of us if not more." She took a look at me and said, "Take off your suit jacket." "Why?" "Why weren't you checked out by a doctor?" "Hon, there wasn't time." "Oh bull. That elbow looks terrible what happened to it?" "It got hit with a baseball bat." "Oh my! Is it broken?" "No, bruised as all get out, but not broken." "Ok, come in here and I'll put ice on it. You need to change out of that outfit anyways because there's blood all over it and you really need a shower. You're smelling the place up good." "Thanks, but if I go take a shower, I'll fall asleep. What I'd die for right now is a sit down in a jacuzzi." "Wouldn't we all." "How about after we have the funeral, the family go to the Y and take over theirs!" "That'd be wonderful, but it might be shut due to the weather." "Oh. It's a shame we don't know someone with a key." "I do hon. Ronnie will let me have it." "Then talk to him!" She smiled and said, "The things I do for this family!" I laughed and said, "Oh, I understand." She said, "Come in here and let me put some ice on that elbow. Now, you sit down and I want to hear what really went on over there." "We sat down and I said, You want the long version or the short." "I want the truth and I don't want some shuck and jive you'll give a stranger." "It's not nice." "Hon, sometimes justice isn't nice, but just the same it's justice and she wears a blindfold." I told her the story and the only question she asked was, "Did someone check that boy's pockets to be sure there was a pocket knife there?" "I didn't" "Well, in case inquiring minds want to know, you need to be sure there's one there. I do admit it was resourceful of him to know where his femoral artery was located." "Yeah, but stranger things have happened." "True, but everything worked for a good cause." "Do you know Chance's mom?" "No, but I want to know the woman. Lord knows she's lived with the devil. She had to have wings." "True Gregg's interested if she's single." "It's entirely too soon." "True, but one way of healing is to share the burden of the pain." "Maybe, but two drunks staggering down the street could be sharing that burden or they could be two drunks staggering down the street." "Well, let's wait and see." "Ok" Ty came into the office and I said, "What's going on?" "We've got a lot to do, but someone's got to go back to the hospital to sit with Chance before he realizes he's alone!" he said with urgency in his voice." "Too late, I've already received the phone call to come get him." "You can't! They don't know where he's bleeding." "Well, why didn't one of you stay?" "It took Heather and I both to handle the mother. She's a basket case." "What!" "Emotionally, she's gone." "I understand. What have you done about her?" "She wanted to go back home, so we dropped her off." "Tell me you didn't." "Yeah, we did." "Ty, get me my clothes. We'll be lucky if she's alive when we get over there." "Huh!" "Yeah, let's see... your ship gets hit by a torpedo and your life raft gets strafed. Your best mate just got ate by sharks and you're alone in the water and nothing around you. Do you sink or do you swim?" "Swim" "Wrong. To someone who's just lost what they know, they choose to sink." "I didn't know!" "You will in time. Let's hope she's over there and is more than what I've given her credit for." "I don't know how I'll explain this to Chance if I've caused this." "Hon, let's go, but don't do it ever again. Ok? Also, sometime today, you've got to call those people over there and get over to see them. They're going to think we left them high and dry on that funeral." "Ok, I sure don't know how you do it." "I manage and I've got good people around me now." "I've got the phone ringing." "Good keep her on the phone." "No one's answering." "Ty, she's going to be in shock. Look at how that house looked before we left and I basicly took a whole bedroom out of there." "even the water bed!" "no, but the headboard and the dresser is in the flower truck." "How'd you carry it?" "It's not hard if you take it apart and end over end the thing." "Ok, I'm glad you know these things." "huh- hello! Yeah, it's me Ty." "Good, I'm sorry we left you there by yourself. Yeah, Lance is worried and says you shouldn't be there by yourself." "Yeah, I know it's a mess, but you don't need to clean it up by yourself. Yeah, I've got a maid here that will be over. No, she's real great and trustworthy. Yeah, we'll be over there to get you. Get yourself a bath and then, we'll get back to the hospital because he's already called. Ok, just get your bath and we'll be there. Ok bye now." "Good take charge attitude, but bad news on that maid. I'm not sure our maid will want to do Crime Scene Cleanup and I couldn't even begin paying her what those people charge." "What do they make?" "Oh my God...let's just say a lawyer makes less an hour than they make. Usually it starts out at like seven fifty an hour." "What!" "Yeah, but for situations where someone's lost an arm or a leg or a head, then they're sure to charge the arm and a leg that's for sure...but some of what they do is totally gross hon. Those people deserve it." "I never thought of that. We could offer that service and put people in there that could do it." "Hon, it takes special equipment and lots of time and air masks." "Which you have." "We'd need a professional steam cleaner rug shampoo machine." "Ok, so that's an investment" "Yeah and those on even the government auctions are expensive and worn out." "Then, let's get one that's better than good and a professional shopvac that can put things into trash bags." "Not just trash bags hon, but bio hazard bags which cost a lot more than others." "Ok, so we take them to the incinerator." "Or the crematorium....hmmm.....that might just work." He smiled and said, "We need to talk to our maid and see if she'd be interested in making some huge money!" "Yeah, but this one's on us. I created the mess, so I need to pay for it." "Yeah, but you were sure in form over there. Even Heather said she was proud of how you handled it. She said she saw what you did and you used your skills to the best of your abilities." "True, but it's never fun. I'm thankful Chance saved me otherwise my head would have been creased with a ball bat." "Oh, I'm sorry. I should have stayed." "Yeah, if you'd been in that house when Ben got there doing his Dirty Harry routine, you could have easily been shot. You were told to stay outside." "I know. I learned a lesson." "Yeah, and if you'd been in that house when I was doing my clean up sweep, you'd been history." "Well, hopefully, that won't happen again." "I understand. What I can say is things work out for the best." "That's what Chance's mom kept saying." "True. The woman knew what living in hell was like, that's for sure. Did she explain how Chance came to being there?" "No, she didn't, but Chance knows it wasn't his dad." "I know that. I told him." "What did he say?" "It's not what he said. I told him what I remembered and he started really crying." "oh" "Yeah, but what I need with you babe is for you to be there just as I would be for anyone in your family. I'm not saying to give him special treatment, I'm just saying be there for him." "I am hon. After being there in that house and after experiencing what I did, I know it wasn't all his fault. There was a lot of pain in that house." "Yeah, what's bad is I'm not sure who it was, but I'd say his dad was molested." "How do you know?" "With my uncle, he told me at one point. I can't remember who it was a grandpa or an uncle, or maybe an uncle that molested by his grandpa, but it seems to me it's a chain thing. Where I am is I want the chain to break and a large part of that is telling you what happened and dissolving the secrets. I'm not saying this for a pity party, what I'm doing is getting this all out so there aren't any secrets and if some day in the future, there's something that doesn't look right to you, you can't front me on it." "I'll do that, but one thing I want you to do is to think to yourself, "Does this person love me and has he loved me like Ty does?" When you get that answer, then I'm sure you'll back away from a situation." "No, if I'm that far into thinking about it, then I'm too far in. It can't ever make it that far." "Hon, we're sexual beings. Heck, I look at people and think what they'd be like as a lover. It doesn't mean I act on it. What it means is I think it and then I make that decision to not pursue it. As sick as it seems, I've even thought about Chance again." "I understand. It changed things when you found out he had all those feelings for you and didn't know how to act on it correctly." "Yeah, and I know things between us will have the familiarity that he and I had together, but there's little bonds we have and I think of those and think, "Man, if he'd just known how to say it, we'd be together." "Yeah, that hurts doesn't it." "Yeah, yeah it does." He looked down and said, "But, what I'm thankful for is it took you to pull me out of my shell and to give me direction. Most people can't think about doing this job and ever enjoying it. For me, I think that's what I'm liking best is the fact that not everyone wants this job and not everyone is good at it like you are. Now, you're training me and what I like is you guide me in it and don't do it like someone with a riding crop." "I won't ever do that hon. What you'll see is if I mention it the first time...it's a mention. The second time is a question of, "Don't you think you need to?...but the third time is when I step in and say, "Since you're not going to do that, I'll go do this." "Ok, I know I've got to get over there with that family, but hon, there's no time!" "There's time, we've got to make it. Right now, it's hard because we've got so many things pulling at us, but what you see is right now, I should be laying down, but I'm up making time thinking to myself, "I've got to take a nap, but I'll sleep tonight. " What I wish is we had someone that was already trained here, or we were training that would do this." He nodded and said, "I think Chance will and I'm going to say something but Jake up there is at a turning point. You don't know it but I think Jake would follow you off a cliff just to get the directions of which way is down. You've done something to him that's turned him on and it's really neat." "I listened." "No, you listened and believed in him. Then, you acted. Believe me, he's had people listen to him." "Maybe, but hon, maybe it's position. I don't know." "What do you mean?" "Ok, take a look at two similarities and then you'll see how people are psychologically. Situation one is you walk down a street and you sit at a bus stop. A bum comes along and says, "Go East Young Man, Go East." You walk away and say, "what a wacko!". Situation two is a man in a suite outside a thriving business come out and says, "Go East Young Man, Go East." You walk away thinking, 'man that man must know something I don't know. I think I'll go east!" He smiled and said, "I get what you mean. You're saying you didn't say anything none of us said, he's just seeing your position and thinking it makes a difference." "Yeah, and he saw someone in my position take the time to listen to him, and not be afraid to lift a jacket sleeve and get dirty. By the way, I've got to get in there and change this suit. I've got blood on it and I'm stinking to high get out." "You say you're stinking and everyone else is thinking you put on cologne extra heavy this morning. Me, I smell you and want to take that shower with you, you're turning me on so much." I smiled and said, "come on, let's make it a quickie and get this day going." "Can't, I've got to take his mom back by the hospital and then, I'm going to pop over by that family's house." "Good plan. By the time you get back, I'll have showered, changed and slept. Then, we've got to concentrate on getting some food around here." "Aunt Joan headed out to get some. She should be back." "Oh, ok. My stomach's telling me it's time to eat." "Your stomach doesn't know it's only supposed to eat three meals." "No, the way it goes is an average person is up sixteen hours at the longest. Most are up around fourteen. In that time period, they eat three meals. Me, I'm up around twenty to twenty two hours and I eat four meals. It's the same. Based upon time and I think I'm active enough to break it down. If I start getting pudgy let me know." "If your butt starts getting pudgy, I'll be getting a pudgy!" He winked. "Why? You don't like my butt?" "No, it's not that. It's that I have bruises from your hip bones." "Oh, sorry." "Don't worry, I still find you sexy as all get out, but I know when I'm making love to you, I've got to be more gentle." "No you don't. You've just got to not give yourself bruises." I smiled. "Yeah, you might like it, but I'll be gentle until the bruises heal." "Well, go get your do done and get home, I'll be here." He came over and gave me a kiss and then I went up to get a suit out and go take a shower. Then, I lay down for a quick nap. When I got through taking my nap, I felt years younger. I went out through the funeral home and I saw a news camera sitting in the chapel plugged into an outlet. I unplugged it, picked it up, and then went to the front door. I took it out and set it out on the front sidewalk aiming at the front door. I looked through the viewfinder and saw it was black. I figured it must only work when it's got power. When I got inside, Gregg was watching me and said, "I told them you'd be pissed. They said they had permission. I asked Ty and he said you hadn't spoken to anyone. I told the guy and he said it was there and if we wanted the service televised that was our option." "It's not my option, so which crew is it?" "Channel Seven" "I'll go call them and tell them to come get their equipment." I went to the office and looked up their number. I called and when the receptionist answered, I asked for the station manager. She said he wasn't available. I said, "Well, you've got a piece of sixty thousand dollar equipment that just got put out on the front sidewalk of my funeral home. I'd suggest he give me a call." "One moment sir, I'll patch you through." "Hello, This is Brook Daniels station manager." "Oh hello, Ms Daniels. This is Lance Green. You're slated to televise a funeral service from my funeral home this afternoon. I'm calling to notify you to tell you crew to come down and pick up the equipment. It's been placed on the front sidewalk." "What!" "Yeah, First of all, no one bothered to ask. Second of all, no one bothered to check with the owner whether he wanted it. I was told. Third of all, I specifically told everyone to notify me if anyone showed up as I had an insurance waiver I wanted signed before any equipment got hook into my power grid. The man lied when he said he'd gotten permission because no one here has spoken to me, nor have they signed a waiver. So, your equipment is out front." "I'll have you know that's a sixty thousand dollar camera!" "I'll have you know the security system in this funeral home is over two million. If a single flaw is detected in it, you'll get a bill. Good day." "Hold up, what sort of waiver do you want?" "I want a waiver that says you come in and the camera gets set up at the back. No closer, only there. If the service is small, you can go forward with it with my permission, but I doubt that will happen. Then, you hook it to your own power source, not mine. I will not have a brown out affect the security of the body, or of the family in this funeral. If that's acceptable, then you come down and you get a different person here because this person does not enter my home. Is that understood." "We only have one technician." "Then, he can come down and pick up that camera from the sidewalk. As I said, Good Day." I hung up the phone and Ty was standing there smiling. The guy is standing out front cussing a blue streak with his cell phone in his hand. I picked up the phone and called 9-1-1. "Yes, we have someone here who is not wanted. His news station has been told to leave and he's now out in front causing a disturbance. Please come escort him from the premises." "We'll have someone right there sir." "I certainly hope so because I'd hate to make an announcement to the other new crew the police were slow about responding." I hung up and then went to the door. "The police have been notified, please leave." "You can't do this!" "Yes, I can and I have." "I've spoken to the owner!" "Oh really and what might his name be.?" "Ummm Ummm" He took a look at the sign and said, "It's Mr. Green, Go get him. He'll tell you I spoke to him!" I fished out my billfold and handed him my driver's license. "That motherfucker was your station's last option. Get off my property before the police get here. Tell you station manager she won't have the option of returning." "I'll....I'll.....She'll sue!" "I'll sue your balls off if you fucked up my security system in there dude, now leave!" I went back inside and I said, "Ty, be prepared for a lock down, we've got to test the system." He looked at me and smiled. "What happens if it's got a flaw?" "IF it's got a flaw, the next phone call will be to the attorney." He went to the back and said, "Ok, give it a shot." I pressed the button and the shot rang out. The panel fell and a flower got crushed. "Who moved that fucking flower!" "I don't know. They were the right way a moment ago!" "Let me guess, before the dude arrived." "Yeah" "Well, he'll pay for someone's arrangement" I pushed the all clear button and began initiating unlocks. The panel lifted and Ty brought the card back. "It's the one from the church." "I'll speak to the pastor." He smiled and said, "I'll go check doors. They should all be unlocked, right?" "Yeah." The woman who was the maid came downstairs and said, "Everything all right! I heard a gun shot!" "It's fine. We were testing the security system." "You test it by firing a shotgun!" "Yeah, sometimes it's a shotgun, other times, it's rifle or a machine gun." "Well show me the rooms where those are kept because I won't clean those." I smiled and said, "Some day, when I'm not here, have Ty show you the security system. I don't want to be shot." Gregg heard me and said, "You will be." "I don't know, I'm a fast runner." He laughed and said, "The police just pulled up out front. You didn't have that for live call did you?" "No" "Well, they're coming up to the door. It's unlocked, I checked. "The police officer came in and said, "We had two calls the first one about removing someone from the premises and the second one said there was an armed intruder and shots fired." "No, we just tested the security system and it malfunctioned. I'll be calling my attorney, I'd like to have that man out there arrested for damaging my property." "What was damaged?" "My security system." "How can I be sure it was damaged?" "Well, here's how it goes, come in here. Ma'am come in and you'll see how I test the system. " I yelled, "Everyone ready!" Gregg said, "I am." And, I heard a series of "we're readys". I told the police officer, "If it's not malfunctioning, you shouldn't get a call. That keypad up there is the one that phones the station. This one is locked out, however, that man standing out there plugged that camera into that socket. I'll have it on video too." He nodded and I said, "You'll hear a gun shot. Don't draw your weapon, but that's what sets the alarm in motion and all the security locks this place down. The gunshot is recorded and I've not a clue which it will be." He nodded and the maid said, "That's what that sound was!" I smiled. "Man, that sounded real!" "It is recordings of real gun shots." I pressed the button and a tommy gun let loose with a rip. The police officer grabbed his weapon and ducked. The panel fell and all the doors closed and locked. I said, "That's what happens." He stood up and said, "Holy Cow! That thing is huge!" "Thanks, it's eight hundred grand of bullet proof acrylic. The rest of the security system closes the doors, but this panel isn't supposed to call the police." Suddenly I heard on his walkie talkie, "Shots fired! Officer needs assistance" The dispatcher gave the funeral home's address and I winced. "He got on his walkie talkie and said, " 10-25, malfunctioning security system." The voice said, "Status Check" "10-1" The dispatcher said, "All units 10-25." He smiled and said, "Quite a set up, can you get me out of here now?" "Yeah, and there will be video proof of everything in my office. You can have a printed dvd so your case can stick." "I'll need that. It'll be great." "Thanks," I pressed the all clear and then unlocked doors. "So, the doors lock and unless a code is given, whomever fired the shot is locked in?" "Yeah, and you guys come and get him." "How do you keep the perp from killing more?" "You see that body up there?" "Yeah" "That's my concern. The family is up there too, so only one bullet gets in there if it's aimed that way. Because the codes unlock only one door at a time, we can press the code for that door and escape while the gunman is locked in with the crowd." "No knock out gases?" "Would love too and actually checked it out, but that's administering medication without a license and it would be multiple counts for how many were in the room." "Oh, but we'd probably over look that." "Yeah, but all the people suing my ass off wouldn't." "Yeah, that's true." We went down the chapel and into the office. Ty had the video cams pulled up and I saw three all knocked black. All were on the back wall of the chapel. "Add three video cameras on the back wall of the chapel to whatever else is malfunctioned. Ty pull up the video and I want it from the moment I went to take my shower to show the man didn't speak to me and then told several in here he did. That makes it burglary and trespass too." The officer said, "I'll get it with criminal intent too. That knocks it up a notch. I hope he brought bail money." Ty played the video and it showed all the screens up until the man plugged in the camera. " "The man deliberately did that!" "Yeah, he was told not to and he was told he couldn't without permission." "Oh man, let me go outside and take him in. The studio will shit when they find out I'm taking that camera in for evidence." "Be sure to call them and tell them I'm on the phone with my attorney." He smiled and said, "I can't do that, but I can imply and infer. " I nodded and said, "Tell the Chief I'll be expecting him at our Kiwanis meeting." "He'll be at the funeral. All the brass are going to be here. Has he seen the security set up here?" "Yeah, he comes in and each time he's got someone different and wants to show them what it does." "I bet he does, that's some set up." "Yeah, when it works right. Now, I can't test it without calling you guys." "Let us know before hand. If someone's on that doesn't know, tell them to patch you through to the chief and he'll notify them of the case number. This will be willful and malicious destruction of property. How much is that worth? Each camera is twelve grand and that panel back there is another seventy five. There's destruction to a pot of flowers valued at one hundred dollars too. With the First Church of the Nazarene as the injured party." "How'd he do that?" "He moved it so it was under the panel. It might have looked good for his shot, but it wasn't when that panel crushed them. " "Oh man, I bet there wasn't much left. That thing has to weigh a lot." "It does. This building had to have special structural members up there with a gantry above to lift it." "Ok, anything else damaged?" "Not that I know, but I'll let you know." "Ok" He left and Ty said, "Hon, I'm sorry." "No, the damned fool took it upon himself to lie and do what he pleased." "Is the other news crew coming?" "I've no clue and once again, all bets are off until they sign a form, but I'll be sure to note on there the system being damaged prior to signature. This sucks." The maid came over and said, "Mr Green, I'm sorry for getting so excited earlier." I looked behind me and said, "Oh you scared me for a second, I thought my dad came back to life. My name's Lance. Lance Green. Please don't call me Mr Green. I'm not that old. What's your name." "Vickie Martin." "Hi Vickie, glad to have you aboard. Just give me your hours you work and I'll get you paid. Did Ty speak with you about his idea?" "I haven't yet" Ty said. She looked at him and he said, "First of all, how do you like to be called, Vickie? Ms Martin?" "Call me Molly." "Ok, then Molly it is." We went out into the hallway and Gregg said, "The other news crew is here and they're filming the other news guy getting cuffed and stuffed!" "Good, I'll go handle this one." He smiled and said, "I tried Boss...I tried!" "I know you tried hon, sometimes some people are hell bent for getting their way." The other news guy came in and said, "What's went on out there?" "The other guy came in and set up without permission. He damaged my security system and he's now put his station up for a lawsuit. What I'll need is a waiver of liability form filled out and I'll note on it the damage to the system which has been done. You can set up, but I'd prefer if you didn't tag into my power grid." "That's ok, Flagship all has handhelds and the batteries we've got will shoot for a long while. That with the satellite feed truck, we'll get it shot." "Ok, let me show you where you can set up." I took them in and they asked if they could set up two more cameras to show the front of the chapel better. I shook my head no and said, "You can shoot anywhere from back here, but nothing goes forward unless there's no crowd and then, you can go to the back line of the crowd so you can make it look full." The guy nodded and said, "He tagged into your power and ruined how much equipment." "Those video cameras up there are toast and my alarm panel back there is fried. I've got a video head above the casket that's going to be thrown into the charges." He nodded and said, "How much damage?" "Over a hundred grand." "Man, what a dumb ass. And he didn't ask?" "No, he lied and told others he's spoken to me, but as our video showed, he didn't." "You've got this place wired for sound and video." "Yeah, we've had situations which have occurred." "Well, I've got a friend that's into the alarm systems. He could probably help you." "What's his name?" "Ed Byrne" "Really! That's who did this?" "Well, he's tops around here." "Yeah, he knows his stuff and what he didn't know, I supplied." "So, you're the guy he said knew the ups and downs of security that he put in the system." "Yeah, but I don't know it. I just know what I want and then studied it." "He said you could have installed it yourself. He's going to be upset about this." "He's not the only one. I'm glad you're so accommodating." "No problem. In situations like this, I do what I can to respect people's privacy. You're not going to see a lot of close ups of people crying here. I might show notables entering, but that's it." "Get their permission first." "I will." He set up and no cord meant no worries from me. His tripods weren't out where people could trip and seeing his set up, I said, "What's your name?" "Randy Lowe." "Randy, take a camera up there and put it behind that curtain. Looking at the way you do it, I'll let you go that far up. You think of others and I'm not going to penalize you for being smart." He nodded and said, "Thanks" with a smile. "Randy?" "Yeah." "Do you do commercials?" "Yeah, you wanting one done?" "No, but my father in law is the widower here and he's going to need some commercials. Also, I know a woman that runs a puppy rescue mission. If you'll film her, I'll pay for the commercials so she can get word out about her place." "Let me film it and we'll run it as a community piece where we promote various places like that. We even do a promo where we promote ourselves promoting her so it stays free." "Ok, I'll speak with her. She's most likely going to be here." "Ok" He went about his work and it was a relief I didn't have to stand over him to protect my stuff. I took a look at the grandfather clock on my way through the rotunda and gave myself a moment to wind it. Gregg saw me and said, "That's an awesome clock." "Yeah, I got it for two hundred dollars." "Man, let me in on some of those deals! Would ya?" "Yeah, this one is a special find. I drove out to San Diego to see my cousin La Don and he turned me onto an antique store there. I went in and found this one. The owner was an elderly lady that was heartbroken because she bought a condo and had it hauled out from her place in the northeast. Her ceilings were tall there and this measures a little over nine feet tall. Her ceilings were eight in her condo. She had to sell it because she had no storage. We struck up a deal and I told her about the funeral home and told her it would get special location. Someplace I'm sure she's smiling at the thought because I took a photo of it and sent it to her." "That's nice, how'd you get it back?" "The Escalade." "I thought you didn't take vacations!" "I don't. That visit saw me at a conference and saw me on the docks buying for this place. If it was a vacation, it was a working one." He nodded and said, "You sure find the nice things." "I'll give you a hint and that's a big one. Go to Alton, Illinois with Heather some weekend and walk through all the antique shops. On the way, stop at the huge one down at Ellsberry. You won't be sorry you went unless you don't take the flower truck to haul all the finds." "Why don't we make it a couple's weekend." "Nah, when I go with Ty, we're taking one of the convertibles and taking the Illinois side down so we can see all the deer in the fields." "A lot of them?" "Yeah, the last trip I went, I counted ninety eight of them. The least amount I've counted was over thirty." "Man!" "Yeah, but be careful, they know no such thing as brakes when they come off those steep hills. " He smiled, "You mean you've been driving for how long and you 've not hit one?" "No, but a pickup truck in front of me got broadsided. The guy was pretty happy. The deer came off the hill, hit the side of the truck, and did a back flip on into the bed of the truck...deader than hell. He pulled over at that rest area and I followed him in to tell him I'd witnessed it so he could report it to his insurance. As it turned out, he was an insurance man! I ended up buying my insurance from him for the funeral home and all those vehicles out there." "Man, I bet you made his day!" "Yeah, he was happy. He got the deer meat and my business. You hit one before?" "Yeah, I hit one about the third month I had my driver's license. That's how my truck got that neat paint job. Ty's hit one too." "Really!" "Yeah, but with his little rust trap, who could tell?! He paused and said, "I can't believe how cruel she was to him. When I hit mine, she helped me and made all the calls. When he hit his, he got told to park the car and to ask dad to help him with it. I ended up helping him. She didn't even have full coverage on his." "Gregg, don't get down on her. She was human." "Yes, but some things weren't right." "No they weren't and I'm sure wherever she is, she's probably got a lot of regrets and would do everything over the right way." "Yeah, she hated getting a sun tan, so I imagine she's got a nice red glow about her." "Don't say that. Remember, judge not lest thee be judged." "Ok, you're too nice, but what else is there to do down at Alton." "My advice is to go down on a Summer afternoon and go antiquing. Then, take a trip down a few blocks to Fast Eddie's BonAire. " "What's that?" "It's a bar/tavern restaurant that's probably the only straight one I'll go in. The food is awesome. Now, here's the pointer...the Fat Eddie burger is a solid half pound hamburger. Get it with cheese. It's a dollar nine. Get two. You might not think you'll eat it, but I'll tell you what. Everyone I go with thinks they won't eat it, but they end up doing it. They're amazed at how good they are." "How come I've never heard of it?" "They don't advertise. It's strictly word of mouth. And believe me, if you get there after seven pm on a weekend night, you've gotten there too late. It's standing room only and you'll be standing in there tighter than at Spring break." "So you're telling me to take Heather to a bar?" "No, I'm telling you to take her because once she gets to Alton, she'll drag you there. I took her once and now, if she's within twenty five miles of the place, she thinks all roads lead to Alton. That's why I'm trying to give you the heads up of the place." He laughed and said, "So, my loveliness loves Fast Eddies." "Yup, and thank you so kindly for calling me that. I'm sure Heather loves it too the way she acts." "You!" "Yeah, as full of it as a Christmas goose, I know." He smiled and said, "That guy in there with the cameras sure knows his stuff. If you looked close, you'd see he has them all set up so he doesn't even have to be in the place. He can sit out there in that truck and run a class act." "Yeah, it's a shame the other guy couldn't." "Well, maybe he's desperate for a story." "He'll have one from the jail, that's for sure." We went into the chapel and I saw Mitch up by the casket. Gregg saw his dad and said, "Lance, he's been up there for an hour." "It's going to be tough on him. He did love her." "Yeah, but the way she treated him...." "Was forgiven. You'll learn that about love. You'll take a mountain of shit and when someone else sees it, they'll think you've taken too much. When they say something to you about it, you'll ignore their remark because you know it's true, but when it comes to that person you love, you'll cross that mountain and be willing to take another. Right now, I bet if you asked him if he could have her back, he'd tell you "in a heartbeat." "Yeah, all I really hope is he finds someone that loves him a hundred times more than mom loved him because that's still too little." "Hon, you know, there was a time when they did love each other equally. You kids came from that love." "Yeah, I think about that and I wonder where it went." "It went into that thing called life, Gregg. Remember the bucket and remember the cherished memories because there wasn't one in your house." "Do you have one in your house?" "Not yet, but that's because I've not had someone to help me fill it. Now I do and believe me, I'm going to have a brass one. I know they make them. " "You want a brass bucket, I'll get you one." "Thanks." "No problem, you just didn't look hard enough out at the distributorship." "They have them there?" "Yeah, I think that's what I'll get everyone for Christmas. I'll give them the bucket and then, I'll put all sorts of things I think people will need for the upcoming year in it like a year of cell phone coverage, car insurance, a beef bundle, a hog bundle, and about a hundred chickens as well as a few turkeys and hams for the holidays." "Gregg, you turning domestic on me?" "Yeah, the way I figure it, if I do this all year long, then when Christmas comes, I'll have a good idea of what to get everyone." He smiled. "Do me a favor and get your brother and I a Mr & Mr Johns Doe name plac. He'll appreciate it." He laughed and said, "My brother. I love him, but sometimes, he's a little slow." "No, he's just no experienced in some things, but believe me when I tell you that when he gets experienced at something, man oh man is he the best." "Oh man, I've got to go upstairs now. I've got my own that's at the best of her game." He walked off and I went up to stand beside Mitch. "You doing ok?" "Yeah, just standing here going through memories. Telling her all of the one's she's going to miss." "She'll be there with everyone in spirit. " "I think she will. She's already told me she's not wearing dress clothes anymore and her hair is the way she liked it. " "Yeah, it's amazing how we'd allow ourselves to look if we had that body for eternity." "Yeah, I understand. I'd be built like Arnold." "No, that's too short and fat." He looked at me and said, "What?" "You're referring to the Green Acres Arnold, right?" "Oh boy are you ever in for it!" He stopped and said, "I just heard her laugh. Man, I miss that laugh. She didn't do it enough." Tears sprung in his eyes and he said, "This is going to be hard. My boys don't understand. The look on her face when I asked her out. So expectant and hopeful. Then, the look on her face when I pulled that ring out of my pocket. So, excited and screaming 'Yes!' before I got the question popped. Then, the look on her face the night I got home from falling through a septic tank to tell me "that's ok babe, we're going to have a baby you'll be waist deep in diapers soon". And then, the look on her face when Gregg took his first steps and said, 'mama!' She sat down and cried she was so happy. Then, the night she took me out to dinner to tell me she was pregnant again with Ty and no matter what, when we had him, his name was going to be Ty. Tyson for a boy and Tyra if it was a girl. I agreed because just the name of his name rolling from her lips had me so hopeful. We'd sit with Gregg on our laps watching television and feeling the baby kick. And then, the night that Gregg told me, "Daddy, no matter what, I'm going to love the baby with all my heart." He teared up again and said, "She said, "Mommy will too." He began to cry and said, "I know she did down deep in her heart. That's why I know she likes you. She knows you'll love him with all your heart too." "I do, am, and will." He smiled and said, "You know, she said that once about me. That's what I held onto the times she screamed what a disappointment I was to her." "Mitch, let's come over here and I'll tell you a story." He smiled and said, "I've heard the Doe story. I can't believe my son never knew." He chuckled and said, "I heard her laugh again. She says you two are making those special memories we had." "True" He walked over to the pew with me and sat. "I'm not supposed to bring up anything about my first love, but I'm going to about this." I pulled off my ring and said, "That ring there is seventeen stones. The pink diamonds are perfect and come from the same stone Burton gave Liz. None of the rest of them in the world have that clarity and none of them have flaws. The jeweler that sold them to us did so because he held onto the hope that they'd get back together. When Burton died, he saw us in his shop up there on Fifth Avenue. Tony came in with this design to be his trademark ring. Friends got rubies, acquaintances got emeralds, moms got sapphires, and dad's got garnets. I got the diamonds, and the ones you see in the middle there are diamonds Liz traded me so she could have ear rings that matched her necklace. I did that because I knew Tony would have wanted it. " I paused and said, "That ring there symbolizes a love that wasn't, but was, and can't be anymore. It's a bad memory that for me holds hope of a future. Some day, Bridgett will get married and she'll get three of them. My brothers will get three each and then, Bub and Biff will get two of the pink with one diamond in the middle. When those are gone, good memories will be. " I paused and said, "Mitch, there are bad memories and there are good ones. Hold precious the good ones because they are perfect like those stones. Together as a package, they mean something to you, but what's behind them wasn't so good. Take it apart and give things away to those you love so they might hold dear what's in your heart and not what was in hers. Build your future on knowing you took apart what was bad and rebuilt it into new that's beautiful." He looked down and said, "You know, I've seen that ring on your hand and never realized what it meant." "Yeah, everyone was given those rings the day he came out to them. They disowned him and they threw him away. What's uncanny is his cousin knew the story as he put it in with everyone's ring. They knew there was only one that got the diamonds. When Kim saw that ring on my hand, she knew. She knew some of the story, but she didn't know it all. That's what got me the trust fund from his family." "Huh?" "Yeah, there's a trust fund that I can't even begin to tell you how many millions of dollars is in it. What I know is I get bank statements once a year with requests from the people that look over the account asking me what I want from it. They asked me this year and once again I told them nothing. I'd just as soon as die than to take that money. It was meant to be for a good life and not a life that led to turmoil and pain. I'm not going to share in it under those pretenses. " I stood up and looked at the flowers and said, "But, in on my desk is the form. I've not sent it in. This time, I think I'm going to have them set up five trust funds from that money. Two for my brothers, and three for Gregg and Heather's future children. Then, it's divided up and hopefully, when the family receives word I did take the money and I divided it up and didn't take a dime, they'll leave the battles behind. What I want to do is see to it that future generations can go on with good memories and know happiness." He looked at me for a moment and said, "So, what you're telling me is to let go of the pain and remember the good times." "Let go of all the times and take away only the good memories. When a bad one rears it's ugly little head, chop it off with a good memory. Say to yourself at that time, "I refuse to let a bad memory cloud the memory of someone that was a beautiful soul." He stood and said, "This funeral is for you burying him too, isn't it." "Yes, in a lot of ways it is. Take a look at all the pink roses. They're beautiful. They're perfect. They can't be dyed and they can't be tinted. They have to be what they were and that's it. Take a look around you Mitch and think to yourself. All this perfection in this room, there's got to be a God that gave her to me for that time that it was perfect. I'll let her go be with Him because that's what happens to blessings when they're meant to be. We ask for them, they're given. We appreciate them, and give prayers of thanks. When they are no longer, we give them back." He grabbed me into the tightest hug I'd ever felt and really began to weep. I stood there and hugged him and the tears flowed too. I never knew her, but I knew we'd made peace. After a while, he said, "Tell me about the buckets. Gregg said to ask you about the buckets." "Mitch, in each life, you're given blessings. You know you've had them and you've enjoyed them immensely. What I do is I think of a lesson that I've learned in life and I take what I learned from it and I put it into a bucket. My parents had a bucket in their kitchen. It stood in the corner and each year, at Thanksgiving, my dad would sit us all down before our huge feast and say, "Here's the blessings I've been given this year." He'd take out slips of paper, and he'd read them. I can't tell you how many skinned knees, learning to ride a bike, learning to play a game, and report cards he pulled out. Each was given a term of being a blessing. As us kids grew up, we really hated that time. What we saw were failings. He viewed them as blessings. He looked at a skinned knee and said, "But, my kid could walk." He'd look at a report card and say, "But my kid could go to school." He'd go through them all and there'd always be crumbs in it I think from where he'd hidden cookies back for himself through the year. We'd all laugh and he'd say, "The mice send us their regards. They say they're thankful we have enough to eat, there are crumbs.!" Mitch laughed and said, "You're really looking forward to getting your brothers aren't you?" "Yeah, because I know I got to spend all that time with mom and dad they didn't. They were little and I had memories. Now, it's time to share so they can be vital members of the community." "They'll be good for the community. With you and Ty as role models, and with everyone in our family being supportive, I can't help but to think they're going to being good quality individuals." Just then, the buzzing of my cell phone began to ring in my pocket. I took a look at the number and it didn't register. I excused myself from Mitch and went out into the hallway walking towards my office "Hello." "I'll have you know that if you piss off enough media around these parts, you'll never run a business." "Let's see, the number registers Quincy, so it's not my favorite newspaper lady, so it must be my new favorite television woman." "You got that right." "Well Ms Daniels, let me state we've got over a hundred grand worth of damage. Your boy did a bang up job on my security system." "Who the hell has a security system that costs more than that!" "I do." "Well, you can't prove it." "I have and have. Your boy was spotted on surveillance and he's facing multiple counts. All I can say Ms. Daniels is your lawyer and mine will hash it out. I'll be giving my lawyer the dvd showing the damage occurring. Please don't ever ring my phone again. It would have been nice if you would have had the smarts to apologize. I guess that's not the way you do business. So I won't apologize when there won't be a haggle to reach a settlement. By the way, my lines are recorded. You really should hope he messed those up too." She hung up with a stream of curses. I was happy to get off the phone with her. I got back on the phone and called to see when the boys would be ready. All I got was voice mail I left a message to have her call me as soon as possible. I got off the phone and went to walk out into the hallway when the door filled with Chance's body looking like it was propelled from behind. I caught him and was about to ask what what was wrong when I was hit from the side. "You son of a bitch, you killed my brother!" I stepped back from the blow and lashed out blindly. It landed on pec muscle. All it did was stun him. "I'd take it you're Rick." "You got that right motherfucker! And, you're a dead man." "Sorry Rick, that remains to be seen. What I see is you trying to assault me with an obscene amount of video surveillance on you right now." "That doesn't matter, when I leave here today, I'll be up on murder charges." "Oh, so it was you that killed her!" "WHAT!" "You know stabbed her. I knew it had to be someone and you were at the top of the list. I mean with the double books and all." "I didn't kill her!" He lunged at me and I did a judo throw that put him over the desk." "Chance, go get Ty and tell him to lock everyone in the chapel." Chance moved and then turned back. "CHANCE MOVE! " He staggered out. "Dude, you have about five seconds to get out before we're locked in together. I'd suggest you use that side door." "Fuck you. You fucking my nephew now?!" "No, sir, I'm not. If you'd care to mind your own business, you'd find it a lot simpler who your nephew has or doesn't have as a partner. We know what bed you warmed." "It doesn't matter now." "Oh yes it does. You come in begging for a murder charge, I'll give you one. I'd like to know where you did it." "I didn't do it. How do you know it wasn't her family that did it?" "If you loved her and then she dumped you, then I'd say there's motive. Then, you've been keeping a set of double books. So, that stacks against you. If there's money involved, then you'll be in a whole lot of trouble." Just then, the gun went off and the alarm sounded and the doors flew shut. "That bell's the sound of Round 1 dumb ass. I gave you the option to leave. Now, it's a cage match." "You talk tough." He came towards me and I hit fight stance. "Oh, a gook fighter!" "Your brother said that right before he died." "Right before you killed him is more like it." "I'll think you'll find the cause of death to be natural causes." "I bet if I had an autopsy done on the body, we'd find he died from your hand." "Considering he was under arrest for federal charges, his body became federal property when he died. I'd say you'll have a helluva time getting that autopsy ordered." "His son can order it." "His son is dead." "Chance is out in that hall." "Chance isn't his son." "You'd say that. You probably know his mother was a slut." "I know his mom didn't have a thing to do with Chance." "How the hell did you know?" "Let's just say I remember history very well." "You speak in riddles like you know something." "Apparently more than you. I know who his father was and I know who the mother was. I know who the father's boyfriend was and the only thing I can think is you're here because you're jealous in some twisted way." He lunged forward and I cracked his eye. He stepped back and hit boxer's stance. "Dude, you're going to have to be faster on your feet for boxer's stance. Each time you lunge in, I'll dot your eye." He stepped in and kept his eye on my right fist. Out of nowhere, my left dotted his other eye. He stepped back and I teased him with my right fist like a hand puppet. "Watch the birdy. It'll fuck you up." I said in Elmo's voice. He stepped forward again and I flashed with my right and then gave a judo kick. The surprise on his face was evident." "Told you to watch the birdy. You're going to be fucked up. My suggestion is you go into redneck fighting mode because boxing isn't your suit." "It does me well when I need it to." "Like when you're pushing around eighteen year old kids?" "Well dude, you're taking on someone a bit closer to your age, but you're getting your ass kicked." "Fight a fair fight and I won't. " "Now, getting philosophical on your dumb ass, is there such a thing as a fair fight? I mean, you use the tools you have at your disposal and if you don't, you're rather dumb, don't you think?" "Speaking of making it a fair fight, then, I guess I'll have to bring my weaponry out." He pulled out a pistol looking a lot like the one in the drawer, out at the distributorship. "Dude, either use it or wish you'd never brought it." "You talk a lot of shit for a dead man." "You talk a lot of it yourself, for someone that's about to die." "I think not, you're fast but not fast enough." I did a roundhouse kick and kicked the gun out of his hand. It went flying, but discharged before before it left his hand. I felt the heat of the bullet, but not the sting. From what I imagined, it was over in the books behind me on the bookshelves by the door." "Your gun's over in the corner. If you can make it there alive, you can kill me. As I said, alive." He made a move back and I knew he thought he could feint behind the desk to go for the gun. His problem was he depended to much on it. A gun is a good thing in an arsenal when it's not the only thing to be relied upon. He made his move and thought he'd play his ace in the hole. He played too soon and told me he didn't have a thing. "Dude, if you want, you can leave. The police will be here and once they're here, you're really going to have a problem." "Sounds like you're not feeling so brave now." "No, I'm trying to give you options so you don't die here this morning." Suddenly a thought went through my mind and I'd check to see if I could draw any blood with it. "Your brother kept the secret for you, didn't he." "What do you mean?" "You'd been about the age my uncle wrote about in the letters. The one he fell in love with." "Who's your uncle?" Now, that question there told me volumes. If there wasn't anyone, he'd not asked the question. He would have told me I was fishing or I was full of shit." "Buddy." He lowered his hands and looked at me. "Your uncle was a sadistic freak." "And, he was Chance's dad. You know he's a freak and I know he's a freak, but I can't say a thing about him in front of Chance. So, what did he do to you?" "I wanted to do it. I just didn't want to do it as rough as he wanted to do it." "You mean the slam fuck sessions? Or the giving head and getting choked until you aspirated your own vomit because he choked you with it." "You were molested too." "Yeah, but you don't see me in there holding a pistol at you. You see me taking matters and giving you options. You still have a few minutes before they get here if you choose to leave." "I can't. You know too much." "That I do. I know you're most likely the father of Glad." "How do you know?" "My uncle told me about your brother's wound. He told me about him not being able to have kids and writing to him to tell him he was going to marry his brother's girl." "He didn't know her before he got back." "You think that, I've got the letters. My uncle told him you had her pregnant and you didn't want her. You were in love with someone you couldn't have." "Wendy" "She was married." "Yes, she was married and I realized too late she was what I needed." "So, you had her. She cheated with you. And, then you killed her?" "Why do you insist I killed her?" "It's a hunch I have. If you can't have something, and it moves on, then I figured, you got pissed and killed her." "You're wrong. She was long gone from me by then. I don't know what happened to her, but she became the most hateful person I ever have known." "She had everything she wanted. She got what she wanted and not one person put a block in her way by saying, No, except her son." "So he killed her." "No, he fought her and she left. She tried to come here to get him to stop seeing me, but I don't live here, I live someplace else. Then, she went home to get him to stop calling me by smashing his phone. They say she went up there to drive off the cliff, but I think that's too perfect. No one else has motives except you." "You're forgetting Randy, the new love. The one that she proposed to publicly and for whom she said she'd leave her husband. The one that said he'd kill her if she ever left him." "Oh, so you're trying to get me to believe you come barreling in here with a pistol because Randy killed her." "I came in here because you killed my brother and my brother's son." "Your brother died of a heart attack. YOUR son committed suicide because he learned about his dad having a boyfriend. The same son, I might add, that pretended he was gay so he could take his brother's boyfriend from him. I'll admit I fought them with martial arts, but there's not one bit of proof I killed them. The Coroner ruled otherwise, and an investigation proved everything founded." "What happened there?" "I received a phone call from Chance calling for help. He was going back home to pack his things and to leave. Glad discovered Chance was moving out from the scheming boyfriend and he told the father. The father beat Chance, but Chance had learned some self defensive moves from me. He used them in return and most likely saved his own life. The father then turned on the mother and that's when I got there. I thought she was Chance laying on that floor. He was beating her and I chose to intervene and beat up on him. " "Glad came in and thought he could attack me from behind and I took him out with one kick. He got knocked out and I think I broke his jaw. Then, I fought the father again and took him outside to wait for the police. Ty held him while I went in to get Chance. While I was in there, Glad chose to attack me with a baseball bat. Only split second timing saved me from a cracked skull. It didn't save Glad from the beating he took. So, Glad went outside and onto a gurney so he couldn't be a problem to anyone...or so we thought. Who knew he had a pocket knife in his pocket and would take the father's having a homosexual past so tragically?" "When we were outside, I asked about the letters. The father and Glad got read their rights and I went in to retrieve the letters. That's when the father came back in and I confronted him about them and told him how I knew who wrote the letters." "How did you know?" "Those letters were written right after my uncle would rape me. I was there. Those portions he thought were sick fantasies were what the man had just done to me. They were real." "Oh man, how old were you?" "Five, Six, Seven...It started when I was four. I do remember that." "He was a cruel bastard and you were so little. Heck, when he would do things to me, I was that young, but he was the same age." "Well, apparently both of you loved him, but couldn't love him the way he needed. That's what he did to me." The door popped and he dove for the gun. I kicked out and he went through the door glass to the outside. The police officer that came through the door went out with to meet the police officer in the back yard. They cuffed him and arrested him. The cop that was there earlier said, "I nearly didn't come because I thought it was a malfunction. Then, something told me to come just to check it out. The one greeting said you were locked with the man who had a gun, but everyone else was locked in the chapel. "Yeah, the gun is in on the floor by that bookcase. He dove for it and I kicked him through the door. I'm getting my money back from Anderson for that door." "You broke the window by putting someone through it." "Yeah, if it was really bulletproof, he'd not gone through it. He'd have massive internal injuries." The cop smiled and said, "I don't suppose you have this one on dvd too." "Yeah, complete with sound. He got told it was being recorded and offered repeatedly to leave. He chose neither. So, he took me hostage, I'd say, and it all occurred with a weapon. Run with it as I really felt in fear for my life." "I can see you were scared." "No, just pissed me off. Now I've got to have another shower before this funeral." "As soon as I get him booked, I'm coming back down and sit in on the funeral. Anyone else starts something else, we're going to have enough police presence, they'll wish they'd never done it. The brass haven't laid charges thick on anyone in a long time. I'd hate to see it when they get one and have a creative writing class on the charges." "There's a bullet hole someplace in the wall over by the door from that pistol. He thought he'd bring out the pistol when he was getting his butt kicked. All it did was make me madder." "What'd you do then?" "What's worse than a punch in the face? I'll tell you, a word in the ear. I told him some family history. Now, he's got plenty to think about. By the way, ignore a question I kept asking him on the tape. " "What was that?" "I kept asking him why he killed her." "Was she killed?" "No, but there's enough evidence to suggest it could be suicide, or it could be an accident. He had motive and I thought I'd throw the question out there to see if he took the bait. He didn't." "Why'd you throw it out there if you thought otherwise?" "Dude, a man comes in waving a pistol demanding to know why I killed his brother and you want to ask me if he was thinking rationally? The dude was a nut case and I figured if he'd do that, he could do a little thing like murder which he threatened to have those charges by the time he left here today." "So, you threw the question out there thinking the guy had nothing left to lose, so he'd confess." "Yeah, he didn't, but murder sure was on his mind. He had me killing everyone after I put up a fight against him and even had Ty killing his mom at one moment." "What a dumb ass. " "Yeah, now between you and I, the woman had a hole in her chest that a tree limb went through the windshield and pierced it. I don't know if word got out, or someone on the inside saw the photos and went running to tell everyone, but because the woman had a hole in her chest, everyone wants to say it was murder. It wasn't. You can ask the deputy and the Coroner. Both were there and both say it was a believable accident scene." "But you say it wasn't totally believable." "I could get up on a witness stand and give enough doubts to push a case either way for suicide, or it being an accident. I guess if I needed, I could probably push it for murder too. It'd be a heckuva reach, and I doubt it that would be as slam dunk as a case for suicide or accident, but that's the third time I've been confronted about murder." "Who are the other two." "Between you and I, the woman had boyfriendzzzz besides her husband. Not one but two and a third that might cause troubles today yet. " "And the husband knew this?" "No, that guy loved her and believed the marriage would still be able to be put back together. He has a fairytale complex with her thinking she was perfect rather than the person she really was." "Now, this guy here was boyfriend number one. He said some things that would point the finger at boyfriend number two. Then, there's the guy in Quincy whom she screwed out of half his beer distributorship." "Oh man, and he let her do it?" "She was a saleswoman and she had that guy believing she was exactly what his place needed. I'll tell you, the man needed her about as much as an airplane pilot needs a terrorist on board. The horror stories I've already heard are enough to make me not want to sell her product." "So, you're telling me to watch the DVD and come to my own conclusions for the charges, but to do it with a grain of salt on some of the topics discussed." "That's exactly what I'm saying." "Ok, I'll do that. " "I've got a funeral to run. Today's becoming a bad day. I need to see what I can do to turn it around." He laughed and said, "It'll get better." "Yeah, all I've got to do is put the smile on my face and pretend." "No, you don't know what's waiting out there. I think it will make you smile." "He makes me smile all the time." "It's two he's." "Oh man, they're here!" "Yeah." I took off at a jog and ran back through the broken door. When I got to the hall, I saw the most precious sight I could imagine. They looked so different from the last time I saw them, and yet, they still looked the same. I ran to hug them and said, "Oh man, I've missed you so much!" The hug we gave each other was a down home corn bread type of hug that will warm you up and melt the butter in your eyes. Lonny said, "All this yours?" "Well, mine and Ty's, but it's ours." "Who's Ty?" "Ty's locked behind that door over there." "Why's he locked in there?" "Well, I had a guy in the office with me that thought he needed to bring a pistol in and try to scare me." "You whipped him!" "Yeah, you know how we used to play. I did it for real this time." "Oh that man was stupid!" "Yeah, he just had his brother die, so he was heartbroken. He thought he could blame me and make it all better." "Oh man, I know how he must have felt because I sure did miss you." "I missed you guys too." "You could have come seen us." "Oh honeys, I wanted to, but after that first time, I was scared you guys would hate me." "Lance, we understand. The therapist explained it to us why you couldn't have us. He said you were a baby too and it'd be better if we let grown ups raise us." "Well, that too, but to be honest, I knew you had a good place to live and the finances were so tight here, I didn't know if I was going to lose all this. On top of that, it wouldn't have been the best for you guys to not have me at home, but now, I've got an apartment upstairs that you can bring your homework and study in and I've got the house out there that each of you both get your own bedroom." "Do we gotta?" Fear immediately went through me. "Gotta what?" "Do we gotta have our own bedroom?" "Oh, no, you can do it however you want. I just thought you might want your own space." "No, not yet. Lenny's there for me when I get scared." "Oh, well, I'll be there for you too. You know Ty will be there for you also. Let me go get him. He's going to like you guys because I've told him so much about you." I went over and knocked on the door. It never opened. So, I went to the front patch panel and typed in two and they opened. Everyone came flooding out and Ty came running up to me. I said, "Ty Ty Ty Ty....don't worry about what happened there, I've got a couple of fellas for you to meet. Meet, my brothers. The taller one over there is the quiet one. He's Lenny. Lonny there with the darker hair looking all like that race car driver you like is you youngest." Both of them immediately got shy. Ty came over and said, "Man, you guys sure you related to him over there?" Lonny said, "Yeah" in the smallest quietest voice I think he ever possessed. "You sure! Because that one over there talks non-stop about you two and I can't get one word out of you guys." Lonny said, "What'd did he say?" "He said if there's a soccer ball field or a baseball field around, I'll know where to find you." "Well, that's me. If you see someone trying to break his neck, that's Lenny on that skateboard." Lenny smiled shyly and then Ty said, "Guys, go stand together so I can see you three together." The boys both came to stand by me and I hugged them to my sides. Ty said, "Guys, I know I'm partial to Lance, but you three are the best looking guys I think I've ever seen." Lenny said, "Ohhh" and Lonny said, "No, I'm better looking. Those two are the way you look at me when you don't get it right. This one here is all right. They stopped after me!" He laughed and Ty came over and gave him a hug. "So, you're telling me I'm supposed to dump him and get with you." "No, I like girls." Ty caught the silent answer to that question about as loudly as I did. He wisely didn't ask it. Lenny's secret continued to stay safe. I looked at the DFS woman and said, "Things are really hectic. I'd tell you to go in my office, but it's a crime scene. So, what we'll do is go upstairs and the boys can see the apartment." We went upstairs and when we entered the apartment, Heather and Joan were in there talking. The boys saw Heather and took off running for her to tackle her on the sofa. She gave them great big hugs and kisses and said, "Man, I missed you guys so much!" The DFS woman came over and said, "You caught that about Lennie." "Yeah, has he came out yet?" "No, but it's a secret between them two that Lonny keeps trying to out him to get him to admit it and Lenny refuses to do it. I'm thinking Lenny's failure to admit it might be with associating you coming out with all the bad things that went on in your lives." "Ok, I'll talk with him about it. He might not want anyone to know because he might think because he doesn't have a boyfriend, he's not worthy." "What?" "Some gay guys think they're only worthy of living a decent life if they're with someone. It's the same as a straight guy that goes from woman to woman directly from his mom's house. He has to have a woman and really, he has lost his own identity in those relationships like that. It's like he thinks or the gay guy thinks that if they're not in a relationship, it's not worth mentioning." "Oh, I'm getting it now." "I'm not saying that's what it is with him because I don't know. I'll have to talk with him and show him what a good relationship has in it." "Well, don't be sexist about it." "What do you mean?" "There are people out there that have girls and have boys and they get fiercely protective over the daughter, but the boy can run and do as he pleases. The girl gets locked away and that's ok with them." "No, that's not the way I'll be. Lonny is going to have guidelines too and we're going to sit down and have goal sessions. What each of us wants and how we're going to achieve them. And, how the family can help." "That sounds healthy. How many of you are involved?" "Oh man, probably twenty? It's a whole lot of people. Joan, Mark, and their family, Mitch, Ty, Gregg, and theirs and now me and mine. " "So you guys get together and discuss your goal and problems." "Yes, on Sunday, we had a meeting and on Monday, we had a meeting. Tomorrow is a meeting day and it will include everything for the boys getting furniture, to making sure things are going to be alright. Then, add Chance to that and we've got several additions to the family!" "Who's Chance?" "Chance. Chance Brewer. He's supposed to not be related, but he's my uncle's son, so therefore, he's my cousin." "And he's moving in?" "I'm not sure. His brother and father died this morning, but I do know he's coming to work for us. He's already made enough he could easily afford an apartment or put a down payment on a house." "He's gay?" "Yeah, that's what caused the big problem at their house. If I told you what went on over there, you'd really think it was awful." "I will need to speak with you about that because someone did make a report." "Well, Chance is above the age, so your job's nothing, but I'll tell you just the same. Why his family slipped through the net, I'll never know." "Hon, they slip through the net because no one reports it. Everyone sees it, but no one reports it. To them, it's not their business. More and more people are reporting things now, but now, it's our problem as there aren't enough credible witnesses to do more than a cursory glance. If it were you, or I, we could go into a house and have an accurate depiction of what's going on in no time at all. For others, they could be given clue after clue and either they don't want to see them, or they don't want to do the paperwork, but both are enough to make you want to scream when you see them." "No, because the difference between you and me is I'd stand over the person and say, "A person's life hangs in the balance here. You screw up again and I'll have your butt out of here." "Yeah, and then, you do that and you just put a lot more cases onto someone else's load. It's a robbing Peter to Pay Paul situation there. " "Well, the system's broke." "Yeah, and all it takes is money to fix it. All it takes is a lot of people who are going through the motions because they're so burned out on trying to care and not getting someplace for it to even begin to get fixed. It's a vicious cycle of self flagrant abuse in this system. It's ironic because the system is abusing the ones that are supposed to be helping the abused." "What would you do if you could do it to make it better?" "I'd give the one's that are burned out a ticket to the door. They could have a part of that retirement, all they have to do is not come back to work. Then, that would open up positions for people that want to work and who aren't wanting to hear negative reactions each and every day they come to work. Then, what I'd do is I'd cut through half the paperwork here and have those computers do it. The system is broke when it comes to paperwork. It has us do a form on the computer, and then has us do it so it can be filed in longhand." "So twice the work." "Yeah, for some of the most mundane things. If you must know, it takes me four forms to get paper clips into my office. It's so insane that I said that the other day and one woman said she didn't fill out four forms. I told her, no you fill out one and you take it over to your section manager that fills out another form and staples your request to her. Then it comes to the office manager that fills out a form to bring it to me. Then, I've got to read all four forms and then initial them and then fill out my own to send to Jeff City. Can you imagine? Two hundred and sixty towns in this state that have offices and each has the same routine. That's over a thousand request forms just for staples a week." "That's nuts. All those man hours that could have been spent doing something else and a box of staples per week just on staple request forms. Then, four boxes of request forms." "Now get this because this will have you pulling out your hair more. Those staples have to be bought from Jeff City. The box from them costs about three dollars and ninety cents when I could go to Wal-Mart and get the same staples for eighty nine cents. And, it's not just that, but that way for every office supply I have." "Well, when you're ready to buck the system and make changes, I'll go with you to Jeff City and scream loud for you." "I don't think it'd do any good. Those people are so off into each other's back pockets, they don't know reality from fiction anymore. The system is broke and when you ask why things are done this way, they look at you like a petulant child and say, "This is the way things are done. If you try doing it the way that makes sense, you won't get it at all." What's so messed up is I used to think pockets were getting lined with the profits or kickbacks, but now I just think it's someone down there that doesn't have any incentive to see the employees of the state get their money's worth. The way that person sees it, he gets an order with x amount of items and none of the items are broken down as to what each costs. He doesn't care to figure it out, and he doesn't care to even begin to care. He's there to make x amount of dollars for x amount of hours worked. No more and no less." As we talked, more am more of the funeral goers were coming in downstairs. I told the boys to watch television and I'd be up to get them. They wanted to know why I couldn't have them in the funeral. I smiled and said, "You can come if you want to, but you don't know her and any preacher that says she was a nice lady probably will be mistaken for telling a joke." "You mean Ty's mom wasn't nice?" "No hon, she wasn't. She was hateful and downright mean, but I can't say that to everyone." "Ty's nice, isn't he?" "Yeah, Ty's nice as is his whole family. Only his mom was mean." "Why didn't you talk to her?" "I didn't know her. She died before I met him." "And you're just now burying her? How long you two been together?" "We've been together since last Saturday night, but we feel like we've known each other forever." "My math class feels like that. I look at the clock and it seems to never move." "No hon, you know how you can be out at recess and it goes really fast?" "Yeah" "Well, Ty and I live like that, but at the same time, we know an awful lot about each other normal people don't." "Oh" "Yeah, but we love each other and he'll be around forever. " "Good, did you and Tony break up for what he did to Lenny?" Fear coursed through me. "What did he do to Lenny?" "You know." "No, I don't know. Come over here and tell me. But, the answer to your question is Tony died. He killed himself." "Well, it serves him right for what he did to Lenny." I looked over at her and she said, "Lenny had some issues with Tony putting his hands upon him in an inappropriate manner." To describe what it feels like to have something like that said to you is overwhelming. To know it happened and the person involved most likely did it and you can't kill them is beyond what words can convey. Angry, scared, and confused. It's like someone throwing you into a beehive and jolting you with a million volts of electricity all at once. She put her arm on me and said, "Hon, the kids know you aren't to blame and you couldn't have stopped it." "I could have if I had known! Oh man, I want to kill a damned dead man!" "Yes, I understand. Now, you've got to channel that anger because it's like shaking the shit out of a volcano and then putting a cork on it. You can see it's going to blow, and the best way would be to take it out and let it blow in the countryside where not another soul resides. You don't have that luxury and today isn't the day that would have been best to tell you." "I've got to talk to Lenny." She nodded and said, "I'll be here." I went over and said, "Lenny, would you come with me." He nodded and we went in the other room. I sat on the edge of the bed and said ,"Hon, I never knew about what happened with Tony." He looked at me and said, "I know. He said not to tell you. I wanted it." "Honey, I wanted everything with him too. Now I know it wasn't right. I'm so sorry I didn't know. Please don't keep me in the dark in the future ok?" "You want me to tell you when I'm having sexual contact with someone?" "Well, not exactly, but let's make a deal. If my boyfr.....no, make that, if an adult .....Ummm...I'll tell you what. You tell me when you're going to have sexual contact with anyone and when you're in a relationship with someone. If you're in a relationship with them, then I don't expect to be told, Ok?" He smiled and said, "So you're not going to mind?" "If it's something that unhealthy for you and it's something like that, oh yeah I'm going to mind. BUT, if you meet anyone and you build up a relationship and you want to have sex and make love with them, then I'll be there and be supportive of you two. It doesn't matter who it is. " "Then, you probably should know I'm gay." "That's two of us." He smiled and said, "Is Mark seeing anyone?" I don't know, but I'll tell you what, he's a babe isn't he." "Oh man, those eyes. He looks at me and I just feel like I'm the only one in the room and he's a tiger." "Well, let me see if he'd be interested. I do know he's not seeing anyone and he's had problems with a boyfriend that's too possessive." "Oh, I'd never be possessive. I know he's got to have space." "Well, the advantage you have is he's your age and he's gay. He just came out to his parents and his boyfriend didn't want to come out to them." "That's dumb. Coming out to those you love is the hardest thing, but if they love you, then it's great." "I love you." "Well, it was hard telling Lon because we sleep together." "Well, he probably knew. You two are close." "Yeah, he's been there for me." "I know and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you too." "It wasn't your fault. You did what you needed to do to make things right so we could get back together. " "I was so afraid you guys wouldn't want me anymore." "OH shush! We love you. And this place is beautiful!" "Thanks, we're building another one in Quincy that's going to be bigger. What I've got in mind for it is going to really make it beautiful. " He smiled and said, "You took that after mama. She sure knew how to make something from nothing and make it nice. " "Yeah, but one thing we'll never eat in my house is pancakes." "Why not? I like pancakes." "You don't remember eating all those pancakes?" "Yeah, but I liked them, so I thought it was great. You liked cheeseburgers, so if you ate them all the time you'd think it was neat." "I do eat them all the time." I laughed "See." "Ok, we'll take you someplace to eat them. You can have them any way you like." "Oh man, remember the one's mama used to make that tastes like lemons?" "Yeah, she used lemon extract." "Those were my favorite." "Lenny, I'm so sorry." "Don't apologize to me anymore. I know you are and I know there's nothing to be sorry for. We're back together now and we had a good life up there. It was hard because neither Lon and I would allow ourselves to get close to people because we knew there'd be a day when you'd get us back." "Well, that day happened and I'm so thankful." "Us too. There were times when we thought you'd never get us back and then, I was afraid they wouldn't let you have us back because you were gay." "Me too. That woman in there made it really easy. I did her a funeral of her grand baby and didn't even know her. She says I'm in her heart now because of how nice I made things. You know, I didn't do it any different than I did any of them." "Do you like doing this?" "Honey, I love my job. Not many people can say they get up in the middle of the night to go do their job and still enjoy it. For me, I'd rather be doing this than a lot of other things." "Doesn't it bother you with all the dead people?" "Look at it how I do and you'll see what makes me more at ease with it. First of all, those people liked the way I do things here, that they chose me to do their funeral. That to me is an honor because they picked me when they could have picked anyone else. Second of all, I have a whole lot more problems with live people than I do those dead ones. Dead people haven't done a thing to me. If it was just me and the dead people, and people I love, then it'd be a great world. I'd share it with them because I know they're not going to do anything." "Do the guys peckers get big?" "Lenny, I'd answer that, but it'd be disrespecting them. How would you feel if someone asked me if you got a hard on in the morning when you woke up and then asked if it was big." "I wouldn't mind if he was cute!" "Well, what if it was an ugly old woman named Cora and she winked at you." "Then, I'm sorry but Miss White will have to get someone else." "How do you know her last name is White?" "She's sitting in that chapel down there and came over to check her hose. When she stood up, she said, "you must be related to Lance." I chuckled and said, "So, you took after me with that huh?" "Yeah, and Lance, why does all the guys think it's so neat to have one this big and they not know how awful it is." "I don't know hon. What I do know is there's special underwear they make and we'll get you some." "Really?" "Yeah, it keeps you from sitting on it and it keeps it from falling down when you're walking." "Oh man, that hurts just me thinking about it. Don't you hate it when you're in a hurry to go to the bathroom and you sit and sit on it?" "Yeah, and it hangs down and touches the water. " "Yeah, but Lonnie's bigger than me. He makes jokes about it and says the fish are biting good at the river and he can tell when a tow boat's going by." "Lonny's funny." "Yeah, he likes Heather." "Well, she's taken." "Yeah, but he fantasizes about her a lot." "Oh" "Yeah, a lot." "Len...I don't want to hear this." "You should sleep with him when he's having a dream about her....man." "Oh man, does it bug you?" "No, because I think about when I meet someone that's going to love me like that and then, I'll be woke up like that and it'll be on!" I laughed and said, "Then, you sure don't want anyone in that family because you'll be like bunnies." "Really!" "Yeah, you're going to love being in that family. And, I'll tell you now, Mitch is going to spoil you guys." "Mitch is Ty and Gregg's dad, right?" "Yeah. You'll love him." "Well, he's a babe for an older guy." "What! You like them older?" "Yeah, I mean I don't like to push over wheelchairs in nursing homes, but if there's gray on top, I ain't gonna stop." "oh. Wow." "You crack me up. You sit there like the church lady and you taught me most of what I know." "Really?" "Who do you think watched you and Tony sitting out in that car. You know if you didn't want it to be known what you were doing, you shouldn't have turned on those interior lights. " "If I'd known we had an audience." "you would have bowed, but all that would have had me doing was asking for a curtain call." "Oh man, " Suddenly, I remembered I was indeed running a funeral home. I said, "Len, I've got to get the show on the road for this funeral. If you want to go down and be a part of it, you can. If you want to stay up here, you can." "I'll go down there. I know Lon's going to be down there scoping out the girls." "Let's get him a girl before he put his eye out with that thing." "No, when that things gets to going, everyone else has to duck and cover. " "Do you guys have suits?" "Yeah, they made us get them for church. " ' "Ok, well, I'll go get Lon and you guys get dressed in them. We'll take you two to Quincy and you can get a whole set of them." "Do we have to?" "Get dressed today? Or, get whole new sets of suits?" "Get new suits." "You'll love the guy, he knows how to cut clothes for guys like us. That's the guy that told me about the underwear." "Oh" "Yeah, you'll love him and everyone out there went up and got their suits cut by him, so you'll look like the odd dude out if you don't." "Ok, I guess I can dress in a suit." "You don't have to do it all the time, but I'd really appreciate it if you could help around here." "Nope, I don't wanna be involved in no dead bodies." "No, this is greeting at the door and stuff like that. It's not even in the chapel. You could drive the car and I'd really appreciate it. Besides, the pays real decent." "You'd pay me to work here?" "Hon, everyone gets paid." "What do I have to do for it? Do I have to pay rent?" "Leonard, you know better than that!" He got tears in his eyes and said, "You sounded just like mom." "I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or a put down" "Both you big oaf. She used to ride us like that, but you sounded just like her. " "Well thanks, kind of..." He hugged me and I said, "Well, I seriously got to go run a funeral home." "Ok, Lon and I'll be down soon." I left the bedroom and said, "Lon, you and he need to put on suits, unless you aren't going to attend the funeral downstairs." "I'll be down. You want me in a suit?" "Yeah, I'd appreciate it. And Lon?" "Yeah" "I love you dude." "I love you too. I missed you so much." "I know. It nearly ripped my heart out to be away from you guys, but we can afford it now and I know we're not ever going to be broke." "We wouldn't ever be broke even if we didn't have any money." "Well hon, if I was raising you kids with no money, they'd take you away." "They better not! Besides, there's six hundred a month for each of us to raise us." "Well, what I'll do is put it back for you guys to have for college." "I'm not going to college." "What are you going to do?" "I'll lay around, get big and fat, and pimp me some hoes." "Yeah, you think that and them hoes have you out working a corner, but I tell you what. When that thing gets big enough you can trip a car with it, I'll keep you off the corner. Ok?" He looked at me and said, "How can you tell what I got?" "A little bird told me. " "Did he tell you about him?" "Yeah, so that don't matter, but you put an eye out thinking about Heather and I'll tell her." "Good, tell her to dress in a nurse's costume before she enters the room." "Why?" "Oh nothing. I'll be a blind man but I'll be happy if she does that!" He said walking with his hands out." "You nut, she'd whip you to death. You ever see her in that leather costume she has?" "Oooh, she's got one?" "Yeah, how do you think she met Gregg?" "Oh, Gregg. Now, there's how to ruin a fantasy." "I don't know. He's cute, but not as cute as Ty." "You love him, don't you?" "Yeah." "Good because he loves you a whole lot more than shit for brains that put his hands down my brother's pants." "If I knew he did that Lon, he wouldn't have had a hand to touch anyone with. I've got to go downstairs, I'll see you down there." He smiled and said, "I'm glad I'm back. I know you ain't had anyone that's gave you a speck of trouble." "Oh yeah, it seemed you disappeared and they lined up. If you keep them at bay, then I'll have a lighter job." "I didn't disappear. The TOOK us." "I know, hon, and I know who was responsible for making that phone call that did it. I've been biding my time, but there'll come a day I can return the favor." "You and me both brother. " "I've got to go. This funeral means a lot to show everyone my business. If I get enough people liking it, then it will make things easier." "You mean people come in and shop for a funeral while they're at a funeral!" "No, but what they'll do is they'll take a look at the place and they'll think, "Man, this is nice. And, he does a bang up job on the service too." "Well, it is beautiful." "Yeah, but you know it didn't cost nearly what it did. Mom taught us how to stretch that penny." He grimaced and said, "Lance, Lon loves pancakes. As far as I'm concerned, don't ever feed us a bean again. You can pancakes because he loves them, but beans, I don't want 'em." "They're not in my cupboard and I've already told Lon we'll be eating out enough he can get pancakes somewhere besides the house." Lonny smiled and said, "I knew you'd not have a pancake. The way you used to grimace to eat them was terrible." "It got to the point I had mom making them so thin they were like those waffle cones. She'd say, "There's no nutrition in it."" "There wasn't any nutrition in anything we ate. When we got put into the system, they had us on vitamins for the deficiencies we had. From what I hear, they took a look at their incomes and we could've been getting food stamps." "Yeah, the day after hell froze. You know mom and dad wouldn't have done that." "I know. That's what I thought. My big fear is I'm going to forget what they look like." "No, you won't. There's photo albums in my office. We'll get them out. I don't look at them because there's pictures of him in there." "Which one? Tony or Uncle Buddy?" "Both, but Uncle Buddy is in nearly every picture where us kids were and in every one, his eyes are red." "We'll have to take them to Wal-Greens and have him cropped out of them. They can do that now." "Ok, I'll pay for it. I've got to go downstairs now." He smiled, "You keep saying that." "From My Keyboard To Your Heart", Retta RettaMichaels@Gmail.com Copyright Notice - Copyright (c) 2008 by RettaMichaels The author, RettaMichaels copyrights this story and retains all rights. This work may not be edited, changed, or duplicated in any form, media [ known or unknown ], without the author's expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. RettaMichaels does NOT give editorial consent in order for this to be published. If it is deemed unpublishable in it's context, permission much be granted before publication or changes occur. "From My Keyboard To Your Heart", "'Retta","RettaMichaels"."Retta","Rhett", and "Rhette" are all trademarks of RettaVonnMichaels LLC. None of these trademarks may be used, or authorized without consent. Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons, locations, or incidents is purely coincidental. -- >From My Keyboard To Your Heart Rhett Here is a list of stories I've written and where to find them: With Love - Nifty - Beginnings Section Rural Love - DeweyWriter.com Write Me A Love Story - DeweyWriter.com To Love Him - DeweyWriter.com Military Zone - Nifty - Military Section Evan - Nifty - Beginnings Section Jordan - Nifty - Beginnings Section Can You Catch My Heart Buckets of Blessings Chains of Love (Completed & Coming April 2008) Dead Air (Completed & Coming Soon!) Prayers of Thanks (Completed & Coming Soon!) With This Ring (Coming Soon!) Tree Trim Man (Coming Soon!) All On http://www.DeweyWriter.com or http://www.Nifty.org