© by The Lavender Quill, 2002
Warning: the following story contains graphic descriptions of male/male sex between consenting adults. If that sort of thing bothers you, or you are a minor, or it is illegal for you to read this type of content under the laws of your area, dont read any further.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual people or events is purely coincidental.
Setting: Sacramento, California, 2002.
After coming out to my parents and one of the most stressful days of my life, I was numbed when Robby told me he loved me. It was almost too much for my poor brain to handle. I nearly didnt believe him.
Yes, I mean it, Kevin, said Robby. I I love you.
Oh, God. He said it again. I nearly started crying again.
Thats what I was talking about with Nirasha on the phone when you came in, Robby continued. I got here quite a while ago. I didnt really have anything to do while I waited. I figured I could either snoop through your stuff or call Nirasha. He grinned, and I punched him playfully on the arm. Anyway, she told me I was already in love with you, but was too afraid to admit it.
Shes a pretty smart girl, I said, smiling.
Shes not very subtle though. She told me if I didnt wake up, youd dump my ass. She asked me how Id feel about that. Just thinking about losing you made me feel sick. I told her how hard this all is for me. She knows about my parents and some of the things Ive done in the past, though not all the details. She just said to deal with it.
Very subtle, I said sarcastically.
Shes right, in a way though. Its kind of like coming to terms with the fact that Im gay. I didnt want to be. I wish I wasnt. I tried not to be. But I am. I cant do anything about it, so I just have to deal with it. He looked at me. Ive fallen in love with you. I didnt mean to. It scares the hell out of me. I dont trust myself. And it is going to cause lots of complications for me that I havent wanted to face yet. But I am in love with you, so I just have to deal with it.
You dont make it sound very pleasant.
Oh, Kevin. I dont mean to sound so awful. Its the best thing thats ever happened to me.
He pulled me to him and we kissed. His lips were so soft, so sweet. I grinned at him like a big dope.
I dont know what Im going to do, said Robby. I dont know how Im going to handle it. I just know I dont want to do it without you. I, I love you, and I want us to be together, you know, like, for the long haul.
Do you really mean it? I wasnt questioning his word. I was just so overwhelmed.
Of course, silly. He kissed me softly again. How can I show you I mean it? He kissed me again.
You can keep doing that, I suggested, smiling.
He kissed me again, this time with more intensity. His hands cupped my face and he gently delved his tongue into my mouth. My whole body felt like it turned to jelly and I moaned as his tongue explored the inside of my mouth. I stroked my hands up and down his back, then slid them under his shirt. We came up for air briefly.
Oh, Robby, I sighed. More, I begged.
With a swift graceful movement, he shucked his tee shirt off and dropped it on the floor. I pulled him to me and crushed my lips to his again. He began to quickly undo the buttons of my shirt as he pushed me on to my back on the couch. This made it more awkward to get my shirt off, but eventually we managed to remove both my shirts and Robby crawled on top of me. For a few minutes we continued to kiss deeply. Our naked chests were pressed together, and I trailed my hands aimlessly on the bare skin of his back as I held him close.
He broke from my lips and kissed his way down my jaw to my neck. He grazed there for a minute while I moaned, and I felt his fingers playing with my left nipple. He pulled off of my neck and moved down. He sucked on my right nipple, his hand leaving my other nipple and snaking down my stomach. He unfastened my jeans and then I felt his fingers slip under the waistband of my underwear.
Ohhh! I moaned.
He firmly grasped my already hard prick and stroked it a couple of times.
Somebodys horny, said Robby.
Maybe a little, I admitted.
Only a little? he asked as he licked his way lower.
It wasnt one of those questions that really required an answer. I lifted my hips a little, and slipped both my jeans and my underwear down past my hips. They ended up down around my knees somewhere when I felt Robbys tongue lick up the underside of my cock. I gasped involuntarily. He licked around the head briefly before taking my cock into his mouth. His tongue flicked up and down on the sensitive area just behind and below the head of my dick and I almost lost it right there.
He started blowing me in earnest then. I rapidly approached the point of no return. I had enough awareness to know that he knew this. He showed no signs of slowing down.
Oh, God, Robby!
This spurred him plunge up and down even faster. I ran my fingers through his hair and stroked the back of his neck. I was unable to hold off for more than a minute or so before I erupted into his mouth. Robby kept going until I stopped pumping my juices into his mouth. He licked me clean and crawled up on top of me again.
Oh, God, Robby, I said again, though less desperately, more of a sigh.
He looked at me with a wicked satisfied grin. Panting, I smiled back at him.
Let me catch my breath, I said, then its your turn.
I meant it when I said it, but it didnt happen quite like that. We kissed softly for a few minutes. I held him like I didnt want him ever to leave. He felt so soft and warm in my arms. I was emotionally wrung out from the ordeal of coming out to my parents and elated over Robbys pronouncement of love and physically spent from my orgasm. My mind shut down, and without really intending to, I drifted into a comfortable sleep.
I woke up some time later. I didnt really know what time it was, only that it was dark. I didnt know whether I had slept five minutes or five hours. I felt somewhat refreshed for my nap, however long it was. I felt around me and discovered that I was alone. At some point I had completely lost my jeans and underwear, though I couldnt recall if it was before I fell asleep or after.
I was feeling a little sheepish, having not returned Robbys affections. Now it appeared he had gone home, and I was a little saddened by that thought. I heard the shower running, and realized I had been mistaken. Soon the shower stopped, and a few minutes later light spilled out from the bathroom and Robby was walking, naked, toward me. He carried his towel, but didnt have it wrapped around him. I smiled.
Hey, sleepy, he said.
He stopped in front of me and I reached my hands out to him. He dropped the towel on the couch next to me, took my hands in his and crawled astride me. In the dim light from the bathroom I could see him smile, and I smiled back at him.
Dont be, he said. You looked pretty whacked. Feel better now?
Much, I said. How long did I sleep? When do you have to go home?
You slept for about three hours. Im staying for the nightunless you want me to go, he said coyly.
I pulled him to me and we kissed softly.
I dont ever want you to go.
Our kisses intensified. I held him closely, pressing our bodies together, creating as much skin contact as was possible, wrapping my arms around him, cherishing even that extra bit of contact. I felt like I wanted to merge with him, if that were possible. Robbys kisses took on a new tone. We had from the beginning been extremely passionate kissers, but there was now something more than the raw passion. Something more emotional. I realized he must have held back a little until he committed to me that night. Now he held nothing back.
Neither did I. Perhaps I, too, had been worried that we might not work out. I let that go, and let myself become utterly consumed kissing him. I completely lost track of any sense of time. After nearly kissing ourselves raw, Robby dropped his head to my shoulder. He kissed me softly on the neck.
I love you so much, he whispered. I want you inside me. Make love to me.
He leaned over to grab something off the lamp table next to the couch. It was a bottle of hand lotion Id bought a couple days after Id bought the gloves. He flipped the top open and poured some into his hand. He reached down and applied it to my cock, which had been hard as steel for quite some time. He poured some lotion onto my fingers, and I knew without a word what he wanted me to do with it. He knelt up and I kissed his soft stomach as I slid a finger into his ass. He leaned into me, his big cock coming to rest on my shoulder. I wanted to suck it, but I could tell Robby was already very aroused, and if I started that, the whole thing would end before we started. I continued to lick and suck at the smooth flesh of his tummy as I worked a second finger into his ass and rubbed the lotion in and around his pucker. I love the taste of his skin, and would have been happy to continue as I was for quite some time. Robby had other plans, though.
Oh, Kevin, he moaned.
He reached back for my cock and guided it where he wanted it as he sat down. I withdrew my fingers and licked my way up to his chest as he lowered himself onto my cock.
I know we had said before that we would discuss the topic of when we would do away with condoms. That had been my intention, really. But it was me that was holding back on that decision; Robby had been ready to dispense with them as soon as wed got our HIV tests back. And my hesitation was from fear that he might not be able to love me, that this might be a short lived thing. I felt we had turned that corner, however, and Robby was telling me the same thing in more ways than one. Suddenly the whole condom thing became a non-issue; a discussion was moot.
It was strange for me, this position. I was about to fuck Robby, but he was in control. I could do little more than sit there as he did all the work. He would control how fast we proceeded. This left me free to do other things. I latched on to his right nipple with my mouth as I felt my cock breach his sphincter muscle. He gasped and hesitated briefly before continuing. I gently stroked his back with my hands, pulling him close to me. I released his nipple as he sank lower, and I licked my way up to his neck and collarbone.
When he hit bottom, I looked up into his face. He was more beautiful than ever to me.
God I love you Robby, I said.
I pulled him to me for another kiss. For a while we kissed slowly but deeply with my cock buried completely in his ass, his cock pressed between our stomachs. This was exactly that merged feeling I was seeking earlier. Robby rocked and squirmed a little on my cock, but did not slide up and down. I rocked with him as we continued to kiss. Robbys kissing became more intense, more frenzied. Suddenly, he broke from our kiss and buried his head in the crook of my neck. I could feel his sphincter contract on my cock and he came, his ass clutching with each spurt. If he hadnt blown me a little earlier, I probably would have come too. I held him tightly to me. I pressed my lips to his neck, and could feel his pulse hammering beneath his skin.
When his breathing slowed somewhat, he leaned back a little and wiped us both off with the towel, but he never got off of me. I was beginning to learn that he seemed to be in no hurry to remove me from inside of him immediately after sex. He leaned back in to me and kissed me again.
I wanna keep going, Robby said softly in my ear.
You dont have to, I said.
I want to. It feels so good.
He rose up a few inches and slid back down. Then he rose again, a little higher this time. The feeling was quite exquisite. He began a rhythm of slow long deep plunges, impaling himself down to my root each time. It felt altogether different. Perhaps it was the position, perhaps our newly declared love, perhaps the fact we no longer used a condom. Maybe it was a combination of all of those things. It felt so much more intimate than ever before. Both of us having come already recently, there was no urgency well, not much, and we were able to maintain some self control. We managed to make love like that for longer than we ever had before.
As he slid up and down on me, I stoked his nipples, his back, his cock. For a while we laced our fingers together, but I still couldnt help myself. I used my tongue instead of my hands to feel his skin. He laughed warmly at me as I licked anyplace I could reach. I wished I could suck his cock while he rode my shaft, but I was incapable of that kind of contortion.
We were both breathing heavy, and Robbys plunges began to increase in speed.
Robby, I gasped. Robby, Im not gonna last much longer.
God, I hope not. Im gonna come again too.
He leaned over. His lips sought mine, and he kissed me fiercely. His movements became erratic; he was losing control. I wrapped my arms around him and grasped him by the shoulders. I pulled him down on me, bucking my hips up to meet him. I held him to me and thrust up into him, submitting to his hungry kiss.
Oh, yes, he trembled.
I could feel him clamp down on me and begin to spasm. My own orgasm overtook me then. I reared up and shuddered, crushing him to me, thrusting myself as deeply into him as was possible. I could feel his hot jism washing over my chest and stomach as I emptied my load deep within him, coating his insides.
Finally, completely spent, I released my grip on Robby and collapsed back against the cushions. I held his hands as I gasped for breath, not yet wanting to relinquish all contact. For several minutes neither of us said anything; neither of us moved. We stared into each others eyes, panting.
Wow, I finally managed to say. Robby laughed, and I smiled at him. It was not the most intelligent thing Ive ever uttered.
At last, he gingerly lifted off of me and stood up. We were still holding hands and he pulled me up with him. We were both covered with sweat and drying come, but I hugged him close anyway.
Come on, stud boy, said Robby. We gotta go to work tomorrow.
He led me to the bathroom. We had a quick shower together, then climbed, exhausted, in to bed. Robby spooned his back against my front, and I wrapped an arm around him.
I love you, Robby, I said.
Um, are you going for round three?
I was growing erect again, and in our position, it was pressing between his ass cheeks. I smiled.
Sorry. Involuntary response. I inhaled his soapy fragrance. Im not even sure how I can do that. I can barely keep my eyes open.
Kind of a pleasant way to fall asleep, though, said Robby.
Mmm hmm I mumbled, and we drifted off to sleep.
When I woke in the morning, bright light spilled in to the room through the slats in the mini-blinds. Robby had rolled and lay sleeping on his stomach. I smiled at him. I find that position too uncomfortable, and can not sleep like that. He looked beautiful, though, no matter the position. I pulled the sheets down and gazed at the inviting twin mounds of his ass.
I crawled astride him, but did not press down on him. I softly kissed the back of his neck, and he stirred slightly.
Mmm, said Robby. Can you wake me up like that every morning?
Nothing would make me happier.
I kissed my way down his back. I did not stop when I reached the base of his spine. I slid my tongue down the crack of his ass. He moaned and spread his legs.
Round three? he asked, coyly.
I parted his cheeks with my thumbs. Oh, yeah.
We didnt talk much after that.
* * * * *
It was almost noon when we arrived at the construction site. For a construction crew, this is well past half the day.
We, uh, had to get some equipment repaired, I lied to my uncle. I couldnt quite pull it off, however, couldnt quite keep a smile off my face.
Uh, huh, said my uncle, trying, but not completely succeeding, in looking stern. He gets to set his own schedule, so long as he gets done on time, he said, pointing at Robby. You owe me five hours, he said, pointing to me.
Sorry Uncle Don.
He smiled at me. Im just kidding. I know you had a rough day yesterday. I was there, remember. I nodded. Just dont make a habit of it, okay?
Okay, I said, properly chastised.
Are you all right? Uncle Don asked Robby. Youre walking kind of funny.
Robby turned his back to my uncle, blushing furiously. Im fine, he said.
Hes very fine, I confirmed.
My uncle smirked, then walked away, shaking his head.
Could we please not advertise that you fucked me silly half the night and half the morning too, said Robby quietly as he pulled equipment out of his van.
Im not the one whos walking funny.
He scowled at me.
Sorry, I said. Did I get carried away last night?
Did you hear me complaining?
Did you hear me ask you to stop?
Uh, no, I said. I get the picture. I just I just dont know what it feels like. It feels great from my side, but I dont want it to hurt you. Does it hurt now?
Not really. I told you before, its just kind of sore, but not in a bad way. He leered at me. It feels kinda good, actually. It reminds me of how much fun we had. Makes me sort of half hard all the time, just thinking about it.
Oh, jeez, Robby. I dont want to think about that right here. We got work to do.
I cant help it. I cant not think about it. Every time I take a step I get a reminder.
Youre too much, I said.
Youll get your turn, he said.
That gave me something to think about.
We hauled all the testing equipment to the underground parking garage. We had finished installing all the cable on Friday. All we had left to do was to test all the lines, and replace any of the cable that got damaged during the installation. I was concerned about it, but Robby assured me that it was all but impossible to do a job this size and not damage at least some of the sensitive cable. He fully expected a ten or twenty percent failure rate.
Helping Robby with this job turned out to be somewhat boringat least the job part of it. Robby did most of the interesting stuff, the complicated connections and so on. I just fed cable through, or sat at the dumb end of the testing terminal. This gave me plenty of time to think, and with the help of the two-way radios, time to talk.
We started with me in the panel room. Once we finished testing the lines going up the access shaft, I would go up the shaft, and Robby would go into the individual condo units to test the lines that fed out from the shaft.
You know, I said into the radio, weve never tried it the other way around.
Thats because you dont know how to run the testing sequences. It would take me at least a week to teach it to you. Not very practical for a two week job.
Um, Im not talking about testing equipment, you goof. Im talking about sex.
I heard him laugh.
Ive pretty much enjoyed what weve been doing so far, he said, and I could almost hear the grin he must have on his face.
Well, yeah. Me too. I felt like a bit of a dork. But I want to try other things too, though Im a little afraid that if we do try it the other way around, Im not going to be able to walk at all afterward.
Kevin, will you stop obsessing over that. You dont ever have to be the bottom if you dont want to. There is no obligation here. If you want to try it, fine. But dont feel rushed. Well do it whenever you feel like youre ready, whether its tomorrow or five years from now.
We moved on to test the next cable. I thought about what hed said, and the part I decided I liked the most was that he implied that he thought wed still be together five years from now. We had our whole lives to try different things, to decide what we liked and didnt like. I smiled as we worked.
By the time the rest of the crew was finished for the day, we had discovered two damaged pieces of cable, and replaced them. I was feeling guilty about coming in so late, and Robby did have a deadline, so we both stayed for another few hours. One reason construction crews start so early and knock off by mid afternoon is because it can get pretty damned hot, especially if you are working out in the sun. But we were working in the basement and in an enclosed access shaft, so it stayed reasonably cool, even during the hottest part of the day. We decided to work right through till seven oclock, figuring that if we left any earlier, wed probably get stuck in rush hour traffic anyway.
When we were packing up his equipment, I asked him, Robby, are you going to finish on time? I knew he had a deadline, and would get a bonus if he finished the job on time.
Yep, I think so. Thanks for staying and helping me this afternoon. Unless we find a lot of bad cable, we should be fine I think. I should be done on Wednesday.
Oh, I said. We walked back to the stairwell so I could lock up.
You dont sound happy.
Im glad youll make your bonus, but, to be honest, Ill be sad to see you go. Most of the time that weve spent together has been here at the construction site. We wont get to see each other very much until we can move in together. Im Im gonna miss you.
Robby pushed me in to the stairwell and closed the door.
Im gonna miss you too. He kissed me. Well spend as much time as we can together. I think I can probably manage to come up with enough excuses to spend at least one night a week at your place. More than that, and I know theyd get suspicious.
Could we get together after work for dinner sometimes too?
Sure. But not too often. Theyre used to me coming home for dinner most of the time.
Part of me wanted to scream. The situation with his parents was going to make me crazy. I knew that was one of the major stumbling blocks hed had to overcome to admit he loved me, and I felt like I had to be careful not to make him feel like he had to choose between us. I rested my forehead against his forehead.
Its okay, I forced myself to say. Ill take whatever time you can make for me.
Kevin, I wish we could spend every minute of every day together, but that just isnt going to happen. Not yet. Itll get better when we can move in together. Its just three months. Then we have the rest of our lives.
Three months, I said, like a mantra.
Three months. Actually, less now. More like two and a half.
I love you Robby.
How about if we go out for dinner on Wednesday? We can celebrate the end of my job here. Make it a party instead of something to be sad about. We can blow some of my bonus money. We could invite a few friends.
I like it, I said. Maybe we could invite my uncle. And Brian, as long as he keeps his hands off you. Robby snickered at that. It would be nice if Nirasha could come. I feel like I owe her for talking some sense in to you. I smiled at him affectionately.
He smiled back. Me too. Her partner, Becky would probably come. Theyre such an odd couple.
I dont know anything about her. Nirasha just described her as white bread, but I guess it works for them. Anybody else? Max, that tall Asian guy? Or Jeremy? Those are the only guys I really remember from the party, other than Alex.
I think we can scratch Alex from the list.
Youre sure? I asked sarcastically.
Very sure. Why dont you call Brian and your uncle. Ill check with the rest of them.
I kissed him.
I love you too, Kevin.
We kissed again, soft and lovingly for a minute. Then I let him go. I didnt want to cause him to be home too late. I locked up the construction site and stashed the keys where my uncle had showed me. I drove home, thinking three more months, three more months.
When I got back to my apartment, I checked my email, but found nothing important. I checked the voice mail for my phone. There was one message.
Hi Kevin. Its Mom
(To be continued.)
I love receiving emails. Accolades, encouragement, suggestions, comments, and corrections are welcome and gladly accepted. <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
Other work by The Lavender Quill can be found on the web at <http://lavenderquill.tripod.com/>.