© by The Lavender Quill, 2002
Warning: the following story contains graphic descriptions of male/male sex between consenting adults. If that sort of thing bothers you, or you are a minor, or it is illegal for you to read this type of content under the laws of your area, dont read any further.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual people or events is purely coincidental.
Setting: Sacramento, California, 2002.
It was one of the stranger messages Id ever received from my mother.
Im sorry. I behaved rather badly yesterday. I was just so so surprised. It wasnt what I expected. I mean youre There was a long pause. Well, never mind. I wont try to justify my behavior to an answering machine. Im not happy about this, Kevin, but youre still my son and I love you and I shouldnt have acted how I did yesterday.
Your uncle told us about a group called Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. PFLAG, I guess they call it. Anyway, were going to go to one of their meetings on Wednesday evening. Maybe they can help me understand this this, um, choice youve made
I groaned. Yeah, mom, I just woke up one morning and decided to become a fag. Oh, well. I didnt know a great deal about PFLAG, but everything Id heard about them was good. Hopefully theyd help mom adjust.
so Ill call later in the week and we can maybe talk once Ive thought about it for a bit, okay sweetie? I just wanted you to know that even though Im a little upset and confused by what youre doing right now, that I still love you. Okay? Bye sweetie.
I pushed the indicated button to save the message.
I guess my uncle was right. It wasnt the unconditional acceptance Id hoped forthat all gay people hope for, I suppose. Neither was it the rejection Id feared. She was just struggling with the shock as best she could. She said she still loved me, and I believed it. And she was getting help from one of the best sources I was aware of. I should have suggested PFLAG to her earlier if I had thought it through.
I thought for a moment. She hadnt asked me to call back, and I didnt feel like there was anything more I could add to what Id already said before. I decided it was probably better just to give her some space. Id wait for her call later in the week, or call her over the weekend if I hadnt heard from her by then.
* * * * *
We ended up having Robbys celebration diner at a place called Totos Grill. It was a popular gay restaurant that had a vaguely Wizard of Oz theme. I had first thought of one of the Olive Garden restaurants, but Brian had a thing about national chains and said hed rather eat at a local restaurant. Robby and I had heard of Totos, but neither of us had ever been there. Nirasha said shed eaten there before and liked it.
Robby picked me up at my apartment and we drove in his van. Everyone else met us there. I was a little surprised when I finally met Becky, Nirashas partner. She was the very personification of a middle class white bread girl. I would never in a hundred years have guessed she was a lesbian. She even wore a little bit of makeup. No wonder she and Robby had been able to fool his parents. Nirasha was the only lesbian Id met beforethat I knew of anywayso I guess I was still deluding myself with what a stereotypical lesbian ought to look like. To add to the mental disconnect, Becky and Nirasha were physical opposites. Nirasha was very large, outgoing, black, and very masculine in appearance with short cut hair. Becky was thin, demure and unquestionably feminine. Nirasha gave me a bone crushing hug. Becky gave me a slightly dainty handshake.
I was also a little surprised when Brian and my uncle showed up. Not by the fact that they came, but by how they were dressed. I shouldnt have been, I suppose, but Id never seen Brian other than at construction sites, never seen him in clean jeans and a button down shirt.
I was not surprised by Max and Jeremy. Max was wearing baggy pants that just barely clung to his hips, just as he had to the party. Jeremy wore a loud leopard print shirt and more makeup than Becky. I think he made my uncle a little nervous. To be honest, it made me a little nervous too. I think I would be embarrassed to death to dress like that in public. It occurred to me that maybe that made Jeremy braver than me in his own outrageous way.
We were shown to a table and given menus. We chatted amiably for a few minutes while we decided what to order. I found myself warming to Becky. That wasnt much of a surprise. I really liked Nirasha, so, by association, I was inclined to like Becky too.
The waiter took our orders and collected our menus. Several of us were still under age to order alcohol in California, so everyone ordered soft drinks or iced tea. When the waiter left, Uncle Don leaned toward the center of the table and pointed discretely to my left.
Dont everyone look at once, said Uncle Don, but there are two guys over there. Their hands keep touching while they talk to each other. I think they might be gay.
I had neglected to tell him Totos was a gay restaurant. It was obvious to me, but apparently not to him.
Nirasha gasped and her eyes grew huge in mock horror. She drew back and craned her neck around exaggeratedly. She leaned forward again toward my uncle, eyes still bugged out.
You mean there are other ho-mo-sex-uals here? she asked, dragging out the phrase outrageously.
There was a few seconds of dead silence at our table, then Nirasha burst out laughing. So did everyone except Brian and Uncle Don. My uncle blushed, and looked a little confused. I took pity on him.
Uncle Don, I said, this is a gay restaurant.
You and Brian are probably the only two straight people in here, said Robby.
Brian and my Uncle both looked surprised, and that sent Nirasha into another fit of laughter. After she calmed down a little, she reached over and pinched my uncles cheek.
How does it feel to be a minority, white boy? she asked, a mischievous smile on her face.
This was dual edged, both a joke, and a serious question. Brian and my uncle both looked around as it dawned on them that they were, in fact, minorities in that restaurant, even though theyd been unaware of it until just then. I could tell by their expressions that this was a new feeling for two middle class white guys whod taken the privilege of their ancestry for granted their whole lives.
Wow, man, said Brian. Its been years since someone turned the tables on me like that.
I never thought of it like that before, said Uncle Don.
Dont worry, sugar, said Nirasha, patting my uncles hand. You two can just pretend to be a gay couple, and nobody here will get upset. You can pass.
Brian sputtered, nearly shooting his soft drink out his nose. He grinned at Nirasha fiercely. Uncle Don still had a slightly stunned look.
Has anyone ever told you that you have a wicked sense of humor? Brian asked.
Yes, said Robby, Jeremy, and Becky simultaneously.
Nirasha sat back and chuckled to herself. I looked at her.
You can stop that now, I said with a smile. I did not invite you here so you could freak out my uncle the first time he met you.
Oh, dont you worry Kevin, said Nirasha. I believe Im done with them, then she winked hugely at me, for now.
The food arrived, and we all congratulated Robby on the completion of his portion of the condo project before we started to eat.
This is the first project where weve needed a wiring job like that, said Uncle Don. You did a great job. Do you know what youre doing next?
Uh huh, Robby nodded affirmatively. Theres a pretty high demand for this kind of thing right now, and not enough people trained to do it. Ive got half my schedule booked for the next six months, and the rest of this month is totally full. I start an office retrofit tomorrow.
Well, feel free to use me as a reference, said my uncle. And not just because youre my nephews boyfriend either. You really did good work.
Robby took my hand under the table and leaned on my shoulder, beaming. I liked hearing my uncle call Robby my boyfriend.
I really enjoyed the celebration. It was funny to watch Jeremy flirt with the waiter, and the waiter flirt with Max. Brian and Nirasha joked and traded barbs throughout the meal, and were fast friends by the time we left. I spent some time talking with and getting to know Becky.
Robby and I held hands most of the evening. In a public restaurant. Granted, most of the staff and customers were gay, but still, it was exhilarating to both of us to be able to show signs of affection toward each other without fear of reprisal, or even merely the fear of offending anyone. We had even kissed briefly at the end, just before everyone left.
Be still, my heart, teased Jeremy, eyes fluttering.
Awwww, Max chimed in. Isnt dat cuuuuuute?
You jess jealous, said Nirasha to Max.
That shut them up, and I realized that while Nirasha was just joking with him, it was probably true. I decided to say nothing.
As we were all saying our goodbyes outside the restaurant, Nirasha pulled me to her.
You done good, Kevin, she said to me. I aint never seen Robby so happy. You take good care a him. She gave me another bone crushing hug. You jess call me if he give you any trouble.
Yeah, said Robby with a grin. Shell kick my ass.
Nirasha transferred me to one arm and grabbed Robby with the other. She lifted us both and swung us all in a circle before setting us down.
Both of yall be good, she laughed. Or I kick both yo skinny white butts. She squeezed us again, and then released us.
Oh, Kevins very good, said Robby, almost with a straight face. I blushed.
TMI, TMI Jeremy wailed theatrically, eyes heavenward.
Uncle Don and Brian looked at me blankly.
To Much Information, Max explained. My uncle smiled and Brian smirked.
Max turned to us. Later. He waved and walked off with Jeremy.
The rest of us went our separate ways, and Robby and I were soon on our way back to my apartment.
That was a great idea, Robby, I said, holding his hand again as we drove.
Yeah. I had fun. Brian and your uncle are really pretty cool. Im glad they came.
Its nice to know that not all straight people are assholes, I said.
We pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building, and Robby stopped in a dark corner. I turned to him, wishing he would come in, but guessing he wouldnt. I was right.
I better go, said Robby. We both knew his parents would become suspicious if he stayed too late.
I know, I said, trying to hide my disappointment.
I understood why he had to go, while at the same time wishing he could stay. I pulled him to me for a long kiss. I could at least have that before I got out of the van. We got a little carried away, and by the time we parted I was breathing heavy and a trickle of saliva dribbled from the corner of my mouth.
When can I see you again? I said, still grasping the front of his shirt.
Um, Saturday, I think.
Saturday? I almost wailed. Three whole days without seeing him at all.
Im sorry, Kevin. I want to be with you too. He looked at me beseechingly. We can talk on the phone.
God, Im so pitiful, I smiled at him. Cant stand to be away from you for three days.
I pulled him to me and kissed him deeply again.
When we paused for air, Robby asked, What dyou want to do Saturday?
In response, I kissed him again. I used lots of tongue. He pulled away and giggled huskily.
I mean, besides that? he asked.
I dont care. I said. Anything. As long as you and I can do it together.
I cant think right now, he said. I could sympathize. Ill call you. Well figure something out, okay? Dont call me at home, but you can call my cell phone anytime.
Yeah, okay. I love you Robby.
I pulled him to me one last time, kissing him desperately and passionately. When I finally broke off, I almost stumbled getting out of the van. My mind was reeling, and my cock was uncomfortably hard. It took a real act of will to close the door of the van and walk away.
* * * * *
The next morning, I found an email from Robby before I left for the condo site.
U make me so FUCKING HORNEY!!!! U R so bad. my dick was so hard i almost couldnt drive home last night. hehehe. cant wait to see U Sat.
i LOVE you
Attached was another digital photo. This time he was laying on his bed facing the camera, naked and legs spread wide. The only thing covering him was a scrap of cloth draped over his obvious erection. It took me a moment to realize it was the pair of boxers hed borrowed from me after the first time wed slept together.
I laughed and wrote him back.
ack! stop teasing me, or ill never make it till Sat. i think maybe i wont tell my mother what happened to that pair of boxers. hehe
i love Love LOVE you too.
I drove to work it pretty good spirits. Most of the preliminary plumbing and electrical wiring had been done while Robby and I were installing the hi-tech cable, so my uncle put me to work with the sheet rocking crew. Sheet rocking is one of the messier jobs. Whenever you cut it or break it, clouds of chalk-like dust gets everywhere. I wore a dust mask and safety classes just to keep the stuff out of my eyes, nose and mouth. Taping and plastering the seams and joints is even messier. The plaster is about the consistency of pudding when its wet, and it gets everywhere, especially when youre working on ceilings. It is all but impossible not to get it all over my hands and clothes. Globs of it drop on the floor, and then it gets stepped on and tracked around. It is one of the few times when I keep my shirt on, no matter how hot I get. I just try to keep it out of my hair.
I did pretty good until lunch time. When I sat down to eat my lunch, however, Robbys absence sank in to my soul. My food was flavorless, my soda tasted flat, my coworkers jokes were not funny. Worse, the break seemed to last forever.
The afternoon improved only in that the labor helped occupy my hands and distract me from brooding.
At the end of the day, my uncle pulled me aside after wed had our one beer. We went in to the construction trailer, and we both sat down on a metal folding chairs.
You really miss him, dont you, said my uncle.
I gave him a rueful smile. How could you tell?
Maybe because you looked like you were floating out of that restaurant last night, and youre totally dragging ass this afternoon.
You noticed that? I asked, softly sarcastic. In retrospect, Im sure my mood was obvious to anyone who had any clue about Robby and me.
God, I miss him so much already. It hasnt even been a whole day since Ive seen him. I didnt realize that Id gotten so used to him being here every day. It isnt just sex, you know? Just being around him makes me happy. I sighed heavily. How am I gonna make it for three more months?
I wish your mother could see you right now.
I looked at him. What for? Im a basket case.
Because I think she just thinks of you being gay in the abstract. She doesnt know about Robby, and she sure doesnt know what he means to you. Maybe if she understood that, she wouldnt be so bothered by it.
Maybe. Either that or shed have an aneurysm or something.
Or that, he conceded with a chuckle. I sure dont think shes ready for Totos Grill.
Sorry. Did that freak you out too much?
Oh, no. It was a bit of a surprise, and I dont think Ive ever met anyone quite like your friend Nirasha. Or Jeremy. But I was okay with it. I dont think I wouldve been able to deal with it if youd taken me there right after you came out to me though.
I can understand that. Id actually never been in a place like that either. It was pretty nice not to have to worry about what people would think if they knew about us.
Yes. I imagine so. It would have caused quite a scene if youd kissed Robby at the Olive Garden.
I laughed. I would never dare to do it at the Olive Garden.
Thats kind of sad, in a way. You know, Ive never seen two guys kiss before.
I blushed a little. Sorry. I didnt mean to embarrass you.
No no, thats not what I meant. It just seems strange that here Im past middle age, and Ive never seen two guys do that. Its like theres a whole world that exists out there that I dont know anything about. He paused and shook his head. Sure, Ive known that gay people are out there, and I here about the big gay parade in San Francisco every year and all. But other than that, it all seems so, so out of sight from me.
* * * * *
When I got back to my apartment after stopping at the grocery store, there was a message on my voice mail.
Kevin, its mom, sweetie. Call us when you get home please.
I dialed the number with one hand while putting groceries away with the other.
My father answered. Hello?
Hi dad. Mom left me a message that I should call. Hows it going?
Better. I think the PFLAG meeting helped a lot.
Oh, good. I hear good things about them.
Your mother wants to have a family dinner. All of us, your brothers too. Wed like to meet this friend of yours
Robby, I said. His name is Robby.
Okay, wed like to meet Robby.
Sounds like quite a crowd. I was thinking of my brothers and their families. I dont know that either of us is up for that kind of inquisition, especially Robby.
Itll just be your brothers and us, not their families too. Well promise not to grill him too much.
I thought about what my uncle had said, about maybe my mother understanding better if she could see what Robby meant to me.
Okay, sure dad. That sounds okay. Ill ask Robby if hell come. Were supposed to get together on Saturday. Would that work?
Probably. Ill check with your mother and brothers to see if everyone can make it on Saturday.
One more thing, dad.
You have to promise that you wont say anything to Robbys parents. None of you.
Theyre very conservative, very religious. He still lives at home and hes terrified of coming out to them. I know he wont come if you dont promise.
Oh. I see. Well, that sounds, um, awkward for him. Im sorry to hear that. I promise, we wont say anything to his parents. Ill make sure David and John understand as well.
Thanks dad. Ill call you back and let you know if Robby will come with me.
We said goodbye and I hung up the phone. I finished putting the rest of the groceries away, then sat on the couch to call Robby.
Hey sexy, I said when he answered.
Hang on a second, he said. I could hear a TV on in the background. The sound grew softer, and then I heard a door close. There. I was with my family watching TV. I went to my room so I can talk.
I missed you today. Even my uncle noticed I was dragging ass.
Me too. I was getting used to working with you every day. It just doesnt seem the same without you. He sighed. I cant wait to see you on Saturday. Wanna go out for dinner or something?
Or something, I said. I just talked to my dad. They want to have a big family dinner at their house on Saturday. Guess who gets to be the guest of honor?
Way, I said. They want to meet the horny pervert that corrupted me.
That would be me.
Yep, you, I said. Itll be quite the interrogation. Thumb screws and hot pokers. Should be a good time.
You already poked me with your hot poker on Sunday night. Tell me more about the screwing part.
See? You are a perv, I laughed. Then I turned serious. So, will you go with me? I made dad promise they wouldnt out you to your parents.
Course. I told you Id come the last time if you wanted me to. You want me to meet you there?
No. Come pick me up here first. Well go in your van. I wanna go together. Is that okay?
Sure. Ill see you Saturday.
I love you Robby.
* * * * *
Friday was a chore to get through. I worked like a fiend to try to keep my mind off Robby. I talked with him on the phone, but that only served to make me miss him more. I wanted the real thing, not just a voice over the phone.
Saturday was better. I was a little nervous about dinner with my parents, but had no where near the anxiety I had suffered before coming out to them the previous weekend. I talked to Robby on the phone again, really just to hear his voice and tell him I loved him. Then I changed the oil in my truck. I was horny, and decided I liked making love by candlelight, so I went to the store and bought a few more candles. Just in case.
I was showered and dressed in clean clothes when Robby arrived.
I open the door and stood transfixed.
Oh my God, Robby, I said. You look fantastic!
And he did. Hed had his hair cut and re-dyed. It looked immaculate. He was wearing black pants and a burgundy button-down shirt that was sort of satiny. The pants really made his black eyelashes and eyebrows stand out, and the shirt was a perfect accent to his soft alabaster skin. I thought he was more beautiful than ever.
Ready to go? he asked, standing in the hallway.
I pulled him into my apartment and closed the door.
Not quite, I said. I need a kiss first.
I pulled him to me and crushed his lips in a hungry kiss.
God, I missed you, I gasped.
He eagerly returned my kiss. Youd think we hadnt seen each other in months, not just a few days. Christ! He even smelled incredible. I could feel the blood surge to my groin. I ran my hands down his back to his ass, and drew his body tightly against mine, our hips grinding together. He gyrated a little, and I could feel his erection against my thigh.
My heart began to race, and without breaking our kiss, I pushed him up against the wall, pinning him with my body. Robby groaned and started sucking on my neck.
I missed you too, he breathed in my ear.
I fumbled for the buttons on his shirt, nearly tearing it in my desperation to get it open.
Are you sure we have time for this? he asked.
I dont care, I said, reaching for his last button. They can wait.
Did I mention how I think Robby has beautiful skin? And did I mention that he smelled good too? I leaned over and latched on to his right nipple with my mouth, sucking greedily. Robby moaned. I wasted no time in attacking his belt buckle and it didnt take long before his pants dropped to the floor around his ankles.
Dont worry, I said. This wont take long.
I sank to my knees in front of him. I actually had to fight to get his boxers off. His big cock was so hard, it was difficult stretching the waistband enough to get past it. He was every bit as hot for this as I was.
I buried my nose in his black pubes, inhaling the clean intoxicating scent that is Robby, his cock pressed up against the side of my face. I wanted to linger there, but I could not. My need for Robby was too great. I grasped the base of his cock, opened my mouth wide, and plunged as much in as I could fit in one go. We both moaned, and that almost made me laugh. I was as turned on giving him head as he was receiving it. I slathered his cock and my lips in saliva and started to bob in and out. Robby moaned again and began to work his hips in time with my mouth. I pulled away and looked up at him. His eyes burned with desire.
Come in my mouth, Robby, I said. I wanna taste it so bad. I felt a little sluttish, saying something like that, kneeling on the floor in front of him, but I didnt care. I didnt care if I drowned in it, didnt care if he choked me. I just needed him. Needed to feel him get off in me.
I plunged back onto his cock with my mouth. I tried to deep throat him, but he was just too big for me. I wanted to so bad, wanted to feel him buried in my mouth right up to his pubes. Robby was moaning and thrashing now, and his cock lodged at the back of my throat, nearly making me gag. I willed it to go deeper, but I couldnt do it. Maybe with more patience and a different angle, I might manage it some day, but I didnt have the patience right then.
I went back to sucking his cock in and out, taking it as deep as I could manage, my pace quickening. Robby rubbed his leg against my crotch, nearly making me come in my pants. I moaned. I stroked his balls with one hand and rubbed his leg against my crotch with the other.
Ohhh, ohhh Kevin Im gonna come a little faster ohhh, yeaaaah ohhh, ohh, oh!
And I felt him erupt into my mouth. His semen flooded my tongue, and his hips rocked with each spurt. It is hard to describe the taste, but it doesnt matter. I was so hot for him that it could have tasted like kerosene and I would have eagerly swallowed it down. When his jism splashed across my tonsils, my orgasm overcame me too, and I came in my shorts, not having removed a stitch of clothing.
When we were both spent, I released him and flopped back onto my butt, too weak to remain on my knees. I looked up at Robby. He leaned against the wall, panting, his open shirt hanging from his shoulders, his pants and boxers tangled at his feet, his cheeks and chest flushed. I stared at him as his erection started to droop. He was still beautiful.
When I could breath half way normally, I knelt in front of him again and licked him clean. He giggled a little, and I knew he was sensitive after hed just come. Then I pulled his boxers back up. I pulled his pants up too, and stood.
God, Im such a whore, I said. I cant believe I just did that right before Im taking you to meet my mother.
Robby smirked. Then he pulled me to him for a quick kiss.
Ill just tell her you had a little appetizer before we left, said Robby.
Id say it was pretty big, actually.
Robby groaned and buttoned up his shirt.
Do you need anything else before we go? he asked.
Um, well I kinda need to go change my underwear. I blushed.
Did you come in your pants again?
I nodded sheepishly. Its totally your fault.
Youre so fuckin hot, Robby. Youll probably turn both my brothers queer.
Nope, he quipped. I only recruit one per family.
Im glad Im the one. I kissed him again.
His eyes softened. Me too.
Ill be right back.
I quickly cleaned up and changed, and we were out the door a few minutes later. I held his hand as I gave him directions to my parents house. Neither one of us talked. I could still taste the come in my mouth.
When he parked and turned the van off, we turned to each other.
Nervous? I asked.
Only a little. You?
Same. Im pretty sure itll be okay.
Hell, no, Im not totally sure, I laughed at him. I havent talked to my brothers at all since the rents told them. I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. But I doubt they would have invited you if anybody had a problem.
Okay. Lets go.
We locked the van and walked up to the house. I grabbed his hand and opened the door. My parents and brothers were sitting in the living room, and they all stood when we walked in.
Everyone, this is Robby, I said, beaming.
They all stared at my hand, which still held Robbys clenched tightly in my grasp.
(To be continued.)
If you are living under a rock, PFLAG is a real organization. They helped my parents a lot when I came out to them. Find them at <http://www.pflag.org/>
I love receiving emails. Accolades, encouragement, suggestions, comments, and corrections are welcome and gladly accepted. <email@example.com>.
Other work by The Lavender Quill can be found on the web at <http://lavenderquill.tripod.com/>.