© by The Lavender Quill, 2002
Warning: the following story contains graphic descriptions of male/male sex between consenting adults. If that sort of thing bothers you, or you are a minor, or it is illegal for you to read this type of content under the laws of your area, dont read any further.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual people or events is purely coincidental.
I love receiving emails. Accolades, encouragement, suggestions, comments, and corrections are welcome and gladly accepted. Flames will be utterly ignored. <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
Other work by The Lavender Quill can be found on the web at <http://lavenderquill.tripod.com/>.
Setting: Sacramento, California, 2002.
I ate a frozen pizza again. Then set out to thinking of what to wear. Ive always been a plain jeans and tee shirt kind of guy, unless I had to dress up for something, in which case I had one pair of khaki slacks and a couple of button down shirts. I wouldnt categorize either style as particularly sexy. I had enough time that I gave brief thought to running back out to the mall to see if I could find anything. The trouble was, I knew I really had no sense of style. I knew that pretty much anything went with jeans, so all I had to worry about was making sure my socks matched. I thought Robbys leather pants looked pretty damned hot, but I couldnt see myself wearing something like that. So I didnt think a quick trip to the mall would help.
I finally settled on a pair of jeans that were sort of tight, clean, and had no noticeable stains from work. Most of my tee shirts are oversized baggy ones. Again, not too sexy. I found a plain white tee shirt that was pretty tight, and hopefully vaguely sexy. I thought it was a little dull, so I threw another tee shirt over it. The second one was pretty close to Robbys shade of green, and I decided I liked the layered look.
I shaved. I fussed with my hair. I almost never pay much attention to my hair. It was pretty short, so there wasnt much fussing I could do anyway. In the end, I wasnt sure if I was sexy or not, but I was about as good as I was going to be able to get for that night. I felt like a nervous schoolgirl on her first date.
When Robby arrived, I let him in. He was wearing his leather pants. God, they looked even better in person than they did in his picture. He wore a tight cream colored ribbed tee, almost the same color as his skin. It looked like it was painted on.
You look good enough to eat, I said, and planted a big kiss on him. I hope I look okay. I dont have any clothes like that.
Im used to the guys dressing up and being a little outrageous. But you know, I think I like you better just like you are. He kissed me again, and we held the kiss for a minute. I like the way you kiss too. So we kissed for a couple more minutes. We better get going.
Once we were in the van and on the way, I sighed. We could have stayed at my place and kissed all night.
We can go the party and kiss all night if you want to, he said.
In front of other people?
He laughed. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Maybe I shouldnt take you. Im afraid you will be totally corrupted.
Let me just say that we will not be the only guys kissing at this party.
I guess this will not be like a high school party. I smiled.
He laughed again. Oh, Kevin, I think it will absolutely not be like any party you have ever been to. He turned serious. Kevin, I want this to be fun for you. I think youll have a good time. But if its too much for you or you really hate it, just tell me. We can leave any time. Okay?
Thanks, I said. Im sure it will be fun. Youll just have to put up with my backwoods ignorance.
Robby reached over and took my hand. He held it until we arrived at the mansion.
After he parked, he reached behind his seat and retrieved a six-pack of some kind of micro-brew beer Id never seen before. Im only going to have one or two if Im driving, he said. The rest are for you. Theyll have other stuff up there too.
At the front door, we were greeted by an effeminate young man wearing a flouncey shirt. Robby introduced us to each other. This was Jeremy. Since I had misjudged Robbys age by so much, I decided not to speculate on Jeremys age. The light in the entry way was kind of dim, but I think he was wearing makeup.
He gave my hand an exaggerated shake, and kissed Robby a peck on the lips. Keys? Jeremy said, holding out his hand. I raised an eyebrow as Robby handed over his keys. I cant bear the thought of any of these cute boys getting in a wreck and damaging their beautiful bodies, he explained to me. No one gets their keys back if I think theyre too drunk or high to drive. He winked. Of course, I can be bought, if the bribe is right.
I wasnt sure what to think of Jeremy. He seemed nice enough, but I guess I really didnt understand effeminate guys. It made me uncomfortable. I was attracted to guys who act like guys, not guys who act like girls. I realized there was more to my discomfort than that. There are lots of guys Ive been around that I wasnt attracted to, most of the construction crew, for example, but I wasnt uncomfortable around them. I remember when I was struggling with my sexual identity that I feared that if I admitted I liked boys that I would have to wear dresses and walk with a swish. It was completely contradictory to my nature, or what I thought of as my nature. Absurd, of course, but I was terrified I might turn out like that for a while. In a way, I resented them, effeminate gays, because they represented the most despised stereotype of a gay male. Why couldnt they just act more normal? It gave the rest of us a bad reputation. As soon as the thought passed through my mind, I realized how judgmental that was. I didnt want people to judge me for being gay, yet here I was judging Jeremy for being effeminate. How stupid is that? I felt guilty, faced with my own prejudices. Mentally, I tried to shove that aside, and determined I would try to get to know Jeremy better.
Robby gave me a nudge, breaking me from my reverie, and we walked to the middle of the grand entryway. Curious about the mansion, I looked around. Sorry, said Jeremy. Partys all the way to the top floor. He pointed to the huge staircase. No detours. We got to play by grandmas rules if we want to play again next time. Robby grabbed my hand and lead me to the stairs.
I could hear the music getting louder as we ascended each flight of stairs. The fourth floor was the dance hall. It was much as Robby had described it. There were four small rest rooms and a bar at one end. The rest of it was one enormous open space. The ceiling was pitched to the roof line, and there were windows dormered off along the two sides. It had the illusion of having kind of a low ceiling because the hall was so large, but it was over twenty feet high along the peak down the center. It was very dimly lit, and the far end was in almost complete darkness. Near the bar, a sound system was set up. Music with a dance beat seemed to be the theme--a mix of older disco and newer techno. It was loud, but not so loud you had to shout to be heard. There were a few flashing lights, but nothing terribly elaborate.
Robby walked behind the bar. He took out two beers and handed one to me, then put the rest in a refrigerator behind the bar. A big black girl came running up to us. Big, as in round. I guessed at least two hundred fifty pounds. Probably more. She was like a grinning freight train bearing down on us. I almost stepped back out of the way. Her immense breasts lunged alarmingly with each step.
Robby! she squealed. She gave him a big hug, lifting him clear of the ground and swinging him in a circle like he weighed no more than a doll.
Hey Nirasha! He kissed her on the cheek and they both laughed. She put him back down and turned to me.
Who is this cute boy you brought with you? she said.
This is Kevin. I like Kevin, so you have to promise not to crack any ribs.
Hi Kevin. She gave me a hug too, though she refrained from lifting me off the floor. Still, it was like being hugged by a giant marshmallow bear. I immediately liked her. I tentatively hugged her back, but wasnt able to reach all the way around her.
Nice to meet you, I said.
Cute, and polite, she said turning back to Robby. You must have been good lately.
Ive been too good for way too many months, Robby joked.
I was wondering if you been hiding. Havent seen you in, like, forever. Im so glad you came tonight. She beamed at him.
Is Alex around?
I had no idea who Alex was, but both Robby and Nirasha turned very somber. Either someone Robby didnt like, or who didnt like him, I guessed. Maybe an ex-boyfriend?
I havent seen him yet, said Nirasha. But I expect hell probly be here. Dont worry about him. You here with a cute polite boy, and Im happy to see you, so who cares about Alex. Just get down and have fun, she said, shaking her substantial hips suggestively. They both laughed. Then she waved at a tall Asian guy who had just appeared at the top of the stairs. Ill talk to you guys later. Have fun! she said, and pinched Robby on his ass before she dashed off toward the Asian guy. I stood, momentarily stupefied. She had amazing energy for a girl of her size.
Robby led me around and introduced me to some of his friends. Too many for me to keep track of names. Most seemed like decent enough guys. Robby seemed pretty popular. I suppose I shouldnt be too surprised. I couldnt be the only person who thought he was gorgeous.
The strangest thing for me to get used to was seeing guys openly checking me out. I mean, I look at guys all the time, at least since I was, like, twelve or thirteen. But Id always been subtle about it, always feared what might happen if someone noticed me looking. So I would only glance briefly, only really look when I was sure no one else around would notice. Furtive glances at bare torsos out in the sun or in gym classes. Hardly daring to even that in the showers. It dawned on me that since pretty much everyone at the party was gay, or at least bi, that they could let their guard down a little. Or a lot. A couple of guys were practically leering at me.
I found the open scrutiny a little overwhelming. I had occasionally noticed girls looking at me like that sometimes, but never paid the least attention to it. This seemed more intense, not quite predatory, but definitely sexual, needful. I found myself clinging to Robby a little, making sure they knew I was with someone. Not available.
When I finished my beer, I wiggled the empty bottle at Robby and headed for the bar. I was getting a little overloaded with too many introductions. Too many names. Too much information about who was with whom, for how long, and who they used to date. I was at the point where I was retaining nothing. I was having a good time, but I needed a breather. I walked around a few guys who were dancing in a group. I could see two guys kissing pretty heavy next to the bar. They disengaged as I approached. I tossed my empty and retrieved a new one from the refrigerator. When I turned back around, I noticed one of the guys pop a pill in his mouth and downed it with a swig of beer. He looked at me with a slightly sheepish expression.
Want one? he asked me. He seemed to think I knew what it was he had taken. I have no idea whether the guy had just popped an aspirin or heroin.
Um, no thanks. I think Ill just stick with this. I opened my beer. The guy shrugged and the two of them walked off.
I blinked. The Asian guy that Nirasha had dashed off to talk to appeared almost out of nowhere when I was watching the other two guys walk off. Oh, hi, I said. Im Kevin. I held out my hand.
Im Max, he said. He really was tall. Almost basketball player tall. He had taken off his shirt, and was wearing very baggy cargo pants that just barely clung to his narrow hips, showing several inches of boxer shorts. His hair was short and a little spikey. I thought he was kind of cute. He shook my hand. I dont remember seeing you at one of these before.
Nope, I said. First time. He raised his eyebrows suggestively. First time at one of these parties, I clarified, blushing a little.
He laughed. You still in school? He was definitely checking me out. I tried not to be defensive about it.
No. I graduated last year. I work for a construction company.
Oooooo, he cooed. He reached over and squeezed one of my biceps. These muscles are for real? Not gym muscles? I laughed. Be still, my heart. A for-real construction worker. He fanned his face. Wanna help me live out one of my construction worker fantasies? I have several.
I laughed again. Sorry. I came with Robby tonight. I pointed at Robby beyond the dancers. Robby waved at me and smiled.
Max looked at me with a sly grin. You dog! Ive been trying to get him to go out with me for over a year. I havent seen him since he broke up with Alex. I want you to know Im insanely jealous and I hate you. He grinned to let me know he was kidding. You wouldnt be willing to share, would you?
I... I dont think so. I could feel myself blush.
Well you better be nice to him then. Alex was an ass hole. I wondered more and more about this Alex guy. Hey, Kevin, is it true?
I looked him blankly. Is what true?
About Robby? Is he really hung like a horse?
I gaped at him open mouthed. I I stammered. I dont think Id ever met anyone so forward as Max. It seemed odd to me. He was extremely direct, but completely without malice. Just direct, like he had no inhibitions at all, nothing to hide. I wasnt bothered by it so much as unaccustomed to that kind of directness. I dont know. We havent I havent seen it. Yet. I blushed deeply.
Max laughed hard. Dude, you embarrass easy, you know that? Then a guy came up to us and dragged Max off to dance. Robby had introduced the guy to me, but I couldnt remember his name. Later Kevin, said Max, stumbling to the dance floor with a big grin.
Nirasha left the group of dancers and headed in my direction. Whew, I cant keep up with those boys, she panted. She reached into the refrigerator for a beer. She opened it and leaned on the bar next to me. So where you meet Robby at?
I met him last week at a construction site. Were working together, at least for a week or so.
You just start goin out then? more a statement than a question.
Yep. Ive known him less than a week. But I hope we will know each other for a long time to come. I gazed at Robby and smiled.
Nirasha laughed. Oh, Lord. I know that look. That be the look of a love struck gay boy.
Yeah, I admitted, still gazing at Robby. Finally I turned to her. How do you know Robby?
She chuckled to herself. His sister tried to set him up on a date with my girlfriend, Becky, when we were in high school. Can you believe me goin out with a white bread girl name Becky? I cant, and we still together. Six year now. Course nobody knew about us back then. We were about seventeen at the time. Becky didnt want anyone to know till we were outa school. So she agreed to go out on a date with Robby. I went along too--the chaperone. Nirasha made big eyes, and chuckled again. I had good gay-dar even back then, and knew right off that Robby was just tryin to be nice for appearances sake, and wasnt the least bit interested in Becky, any more than she was interested in him. I told him we should go out again, but next time Id bring him a nice boy to talk to. He about had a stroke, she laughed. But he calmed down once I told him about Becky an me. We been friends ever since.
That sounds so cool. I wish Id met somebody like that in high school. Would have made things easier.
Yeah. We used to double date in school. Every body would just see two girls and two guys and assume we were two straight couples.
So how come you havent seen him in a long time? I asked.
Alex, she said, simply.
So who is this Alex? I asked.
Thats him over there. See. With the goatee?
Yeah, I see him. He had come in late with a few other guys. What happened between him and Robby?
Well, both of them been coming to these parties for a couple years. Alex think he a big stud. And Robby has a reputation for being pretty big, if you know what I mean.
Max mentioned that, I said.
Nirasha smiled. I bet he did! He been trying to get some of that ever since he met Robby. So, anyway, some of the guys would compare the two of them, Robby and Alex. I think it was mostly just talk, cuz Robby dont really sleep around much. I suppose it was inevitable that they had to try each other out. Robby seems to have a masochistic attraction to macho types sometimes. It was a disaster, which I could have told you would happen. I dont think Alex hurt Robby physically, but Robby a sweet boy. Alex hurt his heart. I aint seen Robby around for about six months.
Im sorry, I said.
You aint got nothin to be sorry about. Least I hope you dont. She looked seriously at me for a minute. You seem like a nice guy, Kevin. I hope you are, cuz I dont want to see you hurtin Robbys heart again, you understand what Im saying?
Nirasha, I dont really even know him all that well yet. But already I feel like we might have something going. I dont know how to explain it. I just feel good when Im around him, and I want to make him happy too.
She smiled at me. Im glad to hear that, Kevin. Now if you want to make him happy, then we need to finish these beers and drag Robby out to dance. That boy know how to shake his thang! She laughed and downed the rest of her beer. I did the same, and we walked over to find Robby.
Robby, said Nirasha, you been standin around yackin too long. I want to see if yo friend here can move. She grabbed both of us by the arms, one in each hand, and dragged us out to dance. We could no more resist her than stop a hurricane.
You like to dance? Robby asked me.
I dont know. Ive never danced before.
Never? both Robby and Nirasha said in unison.
Well, I knew that if I wanted to dance with anyone, I wanted to dance with a guy, I explained. So I skipped all the dances in high school. Well, one guy was out, and he brought another guy to the senior prom, but I dont have the nerve for that.
No problemo, dance virgin, said Nirasha. Robby laughed.
If anyone can teach you how to dance, Nirasha can, said Robby.
Nirasha waded right in to the middle with both of us in tow.
Its easy, said Nirasha. Just move to the music, baby! Let it take you. She released us and raised her hands over her head. She began to gyrate her hips to the beat of the music. She was amazingly graceful, considering her massive form.
I watched Robby (how could I not?!), and some of the other dancers too. I was nervous, not wanting to make a fool of myself. I started to move, trying to imitate what others were doing. It wasnt easy, because once I started paying attention, everyone seemed to be moving differently. I thought I was doing alright after a couple of minutes, but I was still kind of hesitant.
How am I doing? I asked. They both smiled and glanced at each other.
Honey, I know you tryin, laughed Nirasha, but you dance like a scared straight boy. We all laughed. Nirasha shimmied around behind me, still moving to the beat. First you need to loosen up. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. Like a shake-the-stuffing-out-of-you kind of shake. Now stop watching all these cute guys like I know you want to. Close yo eyes. Now hold yo hands high over yo head No, not all stiff like that. She grabbed my arms and shook me again. Loosen up. Relax. Pretend like you a rubber band Thats better. Keep yo eyes closed. Now let yo hips sway to the beat. Dont jerk, just let em move with the music Like that, yeah you gettin it. Now just let the music flow through you. Keep yo eyes closed. Dont try to copy these other guys. Just let the music move you. Hear the music and let yo body do what it want to.
I tried to follow her instruction. Keeping my eyes closed seemed to help--less distracting. I started to relax and just move a little to the beat. It was working. I was feeling less tense, and kind of got into the flow.
Yeah, you gettin it. Now loosen up a little more. Let yo movement get a little bigger. Dont force it. Just let it happen. Just let go a little. Let yo feet move. Let yo arms move. Let yo body sway. Let yo hips sway. Go with the beat. Yeah, like dat. She laughed. Hey Robby. Your boy got rhythm. See? He didnt even know it.
I was getting into it then. It was fun. I opened my eyes and looked at Robby. I know I had a huge dorky smile on my face. This was great. He was smiling at me too. Nirasha had moved back around, and the three of us were now dancing in a small triangular group. One song ended, and another began.
Now close yo eyes again. The beat is a little different, but you dont want to just slow down or speed up. Listen. It aint just the beat, its the tone, the feel, the voice. Let yo body move different to the different feel of it, not just the beat.
Yes. I knew what she meant. The new song wasnt simply faster, it felt lighter, happier, less serious than the previous one. I started dancing a little different and opened my eyes again. Dancing like that was great, more fun than I ever imagined it would be, like something wild inside me was released. I got into a zone, kind of like what Id heard runners or other athletes do. I lost any sense of time. The music changed, and I switched my rhythm with it. It changed again, and I changed too. Now a little more intense, now a little silly. I was working up a sweat and my heart was pounding, but I felt like I could keep it up all night.
Nirasha winked at me. Now if you want Robby here to take you home with him tonight, there be just one more thing we got to do. We got to add a little spice, a little sen-su-ality. She gyrated suggestively. Yeah, honey, we got to turn up the heat. Now you movin pretty good, especially for a dance virgin. Now just block out every one else from yo mind. Look at Robby. Just Robby. Keep movin, keep the beat, keep lookin at Robby, and block out everything else. That was easy to do. I loved looking at Robby. I was getting into the music, and letting my body do its thing without really thinking about it.
Now make love to him with yo eyes. Keep the body moving, but let him know you crave him with yo eyes. Mmmmhmmm. I know I would if I liked boys. Now keep the beat, but move a little more gentle. Move like you would move if you was rubbin up against him. Let yo body send him signals.
I watched Robby. I could see he was doing just what Nirasha was saying. His movements became subtly more suggestive. He began to brush his hands against himself lightly. God he was hot! I started to mimic his movements a little.
Dont copy him, said Nirasha. You got to do your own thing. I closed my eyes again. Think sen-su-ous thoughts, and let your body respond naturally. How would you feel if he was touching you right now? Let your body answer him. Mmmhmmm, like that. Oh, yeah, I think we got us a natural here Robby.
I opened my eyes, and Robby was stripping his shirt off. I had noticed that many of the guys dancing had taken their shirts off, but it was sexy watching Robby peal his over his head. He was doing it for me, and knowing he was doing it for me made me feel desirable in a way I had not experienced before. I slowly pulled off my outer, oversized tee shirt. I pulled up my other tee shirt high enough to reveal a little skin and let it drop back down--a hint of what would come. Robby locked his hands behind his head and danced kind of like a belly dance for me. I wanted to run my hands down his ribcage.
The music changed again, and I let myself move into a new rhythm, like Nirasha had showed me. Then I peeled my other tee shirt off. I could tell Robby liked it. I was used to going without a shirt a lot, nearly all the time on a construction site. This was different. Robby was devouring me with his eyes. I could tell other people were watching too. I felt almost giddy sexual.
Oh, Lord, said Nirasha. You two are enough to make me get hot. She made exaggerated fanning motions as she moved.
Robby put his hands behind his back and started dancing really close to me, almost but not quite touching. I could see him matching my motions, moving closer yet. I could feel the heat coming off his body. He looked in my eyes and licked his lips, just inches from my face as we moved to the music. I knew he wanted to kiss me, and I oh so badly wanted to kiss him. He moved even closer, and his chest brushed my skin. It was like an electric jolt. I lunged in and locked my lips to his as we danced. He continued to match my movements, and I greedily sucked at his lower lip.
I could see myself tumbling down that path again. No one had ever made me so aroused just with a kiss. My lips crushed against his and our kiss intensified. Without realizing it, I had stopped moving, my whole being involved in the kiss. I grasped his arms and held him to me as our tongues began to snake around each other.
Nirasha grabbed us, breaking the kiss, and started dragging us to the bar. Okayyyy. I guess the dance lesson is over. I need a beer.
Damn, said Robby, smiling. I think he was just starting to get the hang of it.
Ohhhhh, I think he got well past starting, girlfriend. She laughed.
The moment broken, I realized what a scene we probably just created. I blushed furiously, and they both started to laugh. Sorry, I said sheepishly. I guess I got a little carried away. They just laughed harder.
Sorry? said Nirasha. Lordy, I think you made my night. She pulled three beers out and passed them around.
Dont worry, said Robby. A lot more than kissing happens at these parties.
Nirasha laughed. Yeah, but not usually in the middle of the dance floor. She pointed to the far end of the room. Thats what all the dark corners are for. Chuckling, she turned and wandered toward the restrooms.
Max slid up to the bar between us. Damn, dude, he said to Robby, get a room, would ya? He turned to me and ran his hand down my chest. Sure you wouldnt be willing to share? I stepped back, thinking maybe I should find my shirt and put it back on.
Robby smacked Maxs ass playfully. Go find your own. I found him first.
I think I hate you both, said Max with an exaggerated pout. He kissed Robby on the cheek, then scampered off. I watched him go, shaking my head.
You okay? Robby asked.
Uh huh, I said. It takes a bit of getting used to, but I like some of your friends. I can tell some of them care for you a great deal.
Good. He took my hand. Cmon. I want more of your kissing, but lets be a little more discrete. We walked past the dancers down the hall a ways. Robby pulled me on to a couch in a dimly lit dormer alcove. I landed on him, and my lips immediately sought his. My chest was rubbing against his, and I started to get hard. His fingers roamed between us and he teased my nipples. I started to do the same. His skin was so soft and smooth, so inviting.
I was hungry to taste him, not just caress with my fingers. I began to kiss my way down, beginning with his neck. He was a little sweaty from our dancing, and his skin tasted sort of salty, but that did not deter me in the least. I was so hungry for him. I ran my tongue down from just under his ear to the cleft at the base of his throat. His skin was so soft. I kissed there for a moment, but I wanted more. I shifted on the couch and brushed my lips across his chest till I reached a nipple. I swirled my tongue around it, and I heard Robby sigh. I licked it harder, and sucked on it. I could tell Robby liked it. He was grinding his crotch up against me and running the fingers of one hand through my hair. I released that nipple and brushed my face across his chest, stopping for a light kiss at the slight dip between his pectorals, tracing my lower lip along the curve of his muscle till I reached the other nipple. I nibbled it lightly with my teeth, relishing his quick intake of breath and the feel of his crotch thrusting against my stomach. We were both panting. I sucked on his nipple and ran my hand up the back of his tight leather pants, cupping his ass. My cock was fully hard, and I wished I had worn looser jeans.
I was so hot for him that I was nearly ready to tear his pants off right there and blow him right there, with thirty or so other people in the room. Our alcove was sort of dark and sort of private, but we would have had an audience nonetheless. I would never have imagined myself capable of doing something like that if you would have asked me a few hours earlier, but I could feel my inhibitions falling away as my desire for him grew. I think maybe he would have let me too, but I suddenly felt his whole body go tense, and he sat up. His ardor evaporated instantly. I looked around to see what was wrong, and saw Alex standing a few feet away glaring at us.
Dont mind me, girls, said Alex. His tone left no doubt that calling us girls was meant to be both insulting and emasculating. I grew angry, and I could almost sense Robby shrinking into the couch. Was he afraid? Robbys reaction made me even more angry at Alex, defensive of Robby.
I sat up with my legs spread and leaned back into Robby possessively, my raging erection clearly visible in my tight jeans. I felt like a feral animal displaying his masculinity, protecting its claim, challenging Alex just by the way I sat. Cant find anyone of your own to play with? I asked. Or do you just like to watch?
Alex turned his attention fully on me. If you get bored playing with boys, come see me. Ill show you what a real man can do.
Remembering Maxs and Nirashas hints as to Robbys endowment, I placed my hand on Robbys leg and started moving it up toward his crotch. I think Ive found all the man I need right here, I said with a forced smile.
I could tell Alex was getting angrier, but I couldnt seem to allow myself to back down. If we were smart, we would have just got up and walked away. Yet with every motion, I was subtly protecting Robby, challenging Alex, claiming my territory. I struggled with myself, knowing this could possibly lead to disastrous results. I am not a fighter. I am at heart a nonviolent person, which is why my own reactions surprised me. I cast about for a way out of this without one of us loosing face.
Thankfully, Max came to our rescue. The tall Asian boy with the baggy pants sauntered up to Alex. Youve had him, Max said to Alex. Dont waste your time with those two. Come dance with someone whos available. He took Alexs hand, held it over his head, and did a pirouette. Come on.
Finally Alex broke eye contact with me and allowed himself to be dragged away. Max turned his head and winked to me as he walked Alex away. When they were gone, I let out the breath Id been holding with a big sigh, and leaned back in the couch.
Nice guy, I said sarcastically.
That went rather well, didnt it? Robby said, matching my sarcasm. He shifted over and sat between my legs, leaning back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him. Sorry, he said, turning serious. I should have warned you about him. Maybe we shouldnt have come.
I couldnt think of an answer. Certainly Alex had spoiled our moment, but otherwise I had really enjoyed myself, meeting Max and Nirasha, learning to dance. I just held Robby silently and gave him a sympathetic kiss on the side of his neck. He was extremely tense, the muscles on his neck stood out like chords. I could feel him relax as we sat there, though. He held one of my hands against him, and his tension slowly melted away as I held him. I continued to hold him like that for quite a while.
You going to be okay? I asked.
Yeah. Thanks Kevin. Im sure this wasnt what you had in mind.
No, I admitted. But this is nice too. I kissed him on the neck again. We continued to sit like that. I thought of what Nirasha had said about Robby being attracted to macho types, about the mechanic, and about Alex. Robby? I asked. Am I a macho fantasy to you?
He turned his head a little to look back at me. No. He paused, thinking. Well maybe at first when I met you at the construction site with your shirt off and your tool belt. He made a growling sound. But really, I knew after Alex that that kind of thing was not working for me. The sex was hot, but it made me feel cheap. I was getting depressed. Thats why I havent been dating for a while. He was silent for a minute, then continued, When you kiss me, I dont feel cheap. When you hold me like this, I feel I dont know special, or something. I can feel your heartbeat against my back, did you know that? Thats so cool.
I squeezed him tighter and kissed his neck again. Keep talking like that, and Im going to fall for you bad, I said.
He turned in my arms and kissed me softly on the mouth. Keep holding me like this and I might fall for you too. He smiled.
I cant, I said. He arched an eyebrow at me. I cant hold you much longer. Ive had, like, four beers, and youre leaning against my bladder. We both laughed then, releasing the last bit of tension. We got up, and Robby took my hand and led me to the bathrooms. The four small single bathrooms were obviously built when they put in the dance floor, well maintained, but a good seventy or eighty years old. I was mildly fascinated by the old fixtures. Once I had relieved myself we went back to the bar.
Jeremy, our host, sauntered over and shimmied in between us. I saw you two dancing a while ago. He turned to me. Looks like youre having a good time?
Thanks for letting me come, I said. Ive never been to a party like this. Its fun.
Never? He turned to Robby. Hes absolutely precious. Where did you find him?
At a construction site.
Jeremy turned back to me. He rolled his eyes dramatically, held one hand on the bar and patted his chest rapidly with the other. Be still my heart. I laughed. I was getting the idea that these guys probably didnt meet too many gay construction workers. He stopped fluttering. You dance amazingly well for a construction worker whos never partied before.
Nirasha is a great teacher, and Robby is great inspiration.
Oh yes, he is that. Jeremy reached behind himself and pulled Robby to him. How does it feel to sleep with the boy with the biggest dick in Sacramento?
Its not that big, said Robby, smacking Jeremys butt playfully.
I havent slept with him yet, I said, not stammering as I had when asked nearly the same question by Max.
Really? Jeremys eyes grew wide in mock astonishment. But that means theres still a chance for me! He ground his ass back against Robbys crotch. Robby, honey, wont you please fuck me just once.
You wouldnt be able to walk in the morning.
Oooooh, I probably wouldnt be able to walk for a year. And I dont care! He rubbed his ass up and down against Robby. Oh, oh, oh! Do me Robby!
Robby laughed and gave him a little shove. I was starting to blush. Behave, said Robby. Dont scare off my date at his first party.
Jeremy grabbed us both by the hands. Ill behave if you two come out and dance with me.
I looked out at the dancers, but didnt see Alex. I turned back to Robby, and could see him checking for Alex too. We followed Jeremy. After a few jerky movements, I found that I settled easily back in to a rhythm again. It really was fun. Jeremy was extremely effeminate, which had bothered me at first. But he also seemed to be so joyful, the way he danced. I soon got over my discomfort with him, and the three of us had a good time dancing together for a while.
After a time, another boy pulled Jeremy away, and Max joined us. Wherever Alex had gone, apparently it wasnt with this skinny Asian boy. Max was a bit of a spastic dancer, and I decided there must be some kind of magic that kept his baggy pants from slipping off his slender hips.
I leaned toward him. Thanks, I said. Im not sure how that would have turned out if you hadnt dragged Alex away. I owe you one.
No problem, dude. He danced in a circle. Maybe youll reconsider sharing. He winked at me outrageously.
Robby moved around behind me and put his hands on my hips. Who says Im willing to share? We continued to dance like that for a while, Robby close behind me with his hands on my hips. Eventually Max moved off dancing with another boy. Robby hooked a thumb inside my pants and started pushing me off the dance floor.
We walked awkwardly toward the dark end of the hall. Robby was still behind me. His hands were all over my torso. I was not drunk, but certainly a bit buzzed. Robby stopped in his tracks, but for a second I didnt realize it. I stopped too, then. I could hear sounds in front of us. As my eyes adjusted to the near darkness, I could make out two guys rutting in the dark. One standing had the other bent over a couch. The standing guy had his pants pulled down just below his hips, and was pounding his cock ruthlessly into the others ass. It was Alex, I realized. He was not being gentle, taking out his frustrations on the boy bent over the couch, oblivious to our presence. The boy on the couch seemed to be a willing participant, though I couldnt imagine he was getting much pleasure out of the pounding he was receiving.
Far from being erotic, observing this little tryst actually made me a little queasy. I turned and lead Robby back the way we came.
When we neared the dancers, Nirasha came stumbling to the side, laughing. At first I thought she was drunk, but she was not. Hey boys, she said. I dont think I can dance another step. All you boys wear me out. I can hardly stand.
Robby kissed her on the cheek. I think were leaving, he said looking at me. I nodded. You need a ride?
Naw, she said. I got my own car since the last time I saw you. She kissed him back on the cheek. You go on and have a nice time with Kevin here. I approve.
Thanks mom, said Robby laughing.
She bussed my cheek too. You remember what I said about being nice, now, she said softly in my ear. The three of us walked hand in hand in search of Jeremy and the keys. When we found him, I left them to go retrieve our shirts. Then the three of us left together.
We split to go to our respective cars, and we gave Nirasha a big wave. I like her, I said as we got in the van. But why does she come to these parties? Why doesnt Becky come?
Becky doesnt like to dance, said Robby. Nirasha can dance all night with us, and she doesnt have to worry about getting hit on, and her girlfriend has no reason to get jealous.
Oh. I never thought of that. I guess that makes sense. Very practical, actually. I reached over and took his hand. I held it as we drove. That was about as romantic as I could manage with the engine housing sitting between us. I let go when we got to my apartment building so he could park.
You gonna invite me up? he asked.
Absolutely. He opened his door, and I reached over and grabbed his hand. Wait. Robby?
I took a deep breath. Um, I dont want you to come in unless youre willing to spend the night. He stared at me. I dont want this to be a quicky. I want to wake up in the morning with my arms around you. I wondered if I was pushing him. Was I acting like a romantic fool?
Kevin. I Ive never actually spent the night with a guy before. He looked down, apparently embarrassed by his admission. Its awkward, with me still living at home. He looked at me. Kinda cramps the sex life, you know?
I was a little surprised, but it fit when I thought about it. I squeezed his hand. Please Robby. Its what I really want. I think you do to. Please, please, say yes, I pleaded silently with my eyes, not at all certain how he would answer.
(to be continued.)
(sorry for the cliffhanger. I couldnt resist.)