Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 22:05:58 -0400 (EDT) From: Imal Writora Subject: couseling in canada ch. 2-3 Disclaimer stuff: This story is about homosexual relationships. Don't read if you don't want to. Don't read if its illegal. This story is completely fictional. It is not based on anything, anybody, or any situation. This is the second and third chapter in the series "Counseling in Canada". I hope you like it. I had someone edit it this time though, so the spelling should be pretty good (I think you know you're a real writer when you have an editor). Any errors are still mine. Edited by: Christian Chapeter 2: The next day, (Wednesday) I woke up to the annoying alarm clock. I got up turned it off and went to the bathroom. The door was slightly open so I just went in. Then I saw that Ryan must have just finished his shower and was drying himself off. He was turned away from me, but I caught a good view of his backside. Some people are really turned on by cocks. Cocks are great and everything but I am more of an 'Ass man'. I get really turned on by a nice ass. Ryan had an amazing ass. Of course while I was staring, he started to turn around. I tried to say something but all that intelligible was something like, "Um... sorry... door was open... leave now..." He pulled his towel up before I could see his front, then said, "Don't worry about it..." An awkward silence... "Okay, well how about you knock on my door when you're finished in here?" I asked. "Sounds good..." My cue to exit. I would have except that I was staring into his eyes. 'You could get lost in there,' I thought before I woke from my trance. We both laughed nervously, then I left. Back to my room to get my clothes ready. I felt stupid for standing there like an idiot. A few minutes later I heard him knock at my door, but by the time I opened it, he had left. I went to the bathroom, showered and everything, then went to my bike. I rode to work. Maria was at the desk as usual. "Hello, Adam. How are you?" she asked. "Good. Everything's the same. What about you?" I asked. "Well, actually, this guy that I met on the weekend called. It was nice. We talked, and stuff. We're going out tonight." "Well, good for you. Tell me how it goes." "Like I wouldn't. What about you? You seeing anyone lately?" That's a popular question. "Not really. This guy moved in next door. He seems nice. He's gay too. "Well what are you waiting for?" "I may have found out he's gay by maybe watching him and his boyfriend make out..." "Ouch. Well at least now you know. Who knows. They might breakup." "Its possible. Its not like it matters much. There are lots more people out there." "I was talking to a guy in a laundromat the other day, and he was saying how the best way to find something, is to go look." "Was he?" I said laughing. The "guy in the laundromat" is something I use. It is supposed to sort of change the truth into a story, the idea being that stories are less direct so are more easily accepted. The fact that I heard it from someone else is supposed to show that I listen to people. Of course she was right. The reason I am single, is because I stay at home. I don't go look. "That guy in the laundromat sure is wise." "Yup. Its okay though. You'll find someone." "And how are you so sure of this?" "I'm psychic. Didn't I tell you?" I shook my head laughing. "No, you failed to mention that on your resume. I'll keep it in mind though. When's the first appointment?" "An hour." "I'm gonna go get cleaned up then. Talk to you later." The day went on pretty much as it always does. Today at lunch we were talking about how the major determining factor of disease is poverty. I forget how exactly we got talking about that but we did. After that was more work and then I finally went home. The food was on the doorstep when I got there. I get my groceries delivered by SPUD (Small Potatoes Urban Delivery). I like it delivered better than going out to shop for it. Anyways, while I was taking it up the stairs I passed Ryan. "Whatcha got there?" he asked. "My groceries. I get them delivered." "Really?" So we talked about that for some time. He seemed interested. I won't bore you with the details, but I ended up offering to give him the web site. We headed up to my apartment, and went in. I put the groceries in the kitchen and got the web address. "Nice place," he said. "Thanks." I said. I'm absolutely brilliant at making conversation. "So... What do you do?" he asked. "You mean for a job?" I asked stupidly. He nodded. "I'm a family counselor." "That must be interesting. I bet you see a lot of problems. I think I would get depressed listening to cases of child abuse or drug addictions all day long." One can tell a lot of things by the questions people ask, or the statements they make. If someone says, 'Wow. a counselor eh? I bet you make a lot of money.' one can tell that money is high on their list of values. Statements like Ryan's say that he is a caring person. At least that's what I got from it. I could probably turn anything he says into something good. "You get used to it," I said. "Can you tell me about some of the people? I bet they're interesting," he asked. "I could, but I'd have to kill you," I said. Why do some things sound better in your head then when you say them? I decided then that I would stop trying to be funny. Then, trying to make him forget my pathetic attempt at amusement, I said, "I would but its confidential. Sorry." "Its fine. I guess you're the person I should come to if I have a problem then?" he asked, half serious. "Feel free. I might be able to get you a discount." He laughed. "I'll keep that in mind," he said. Then he kind of looked around appraising my place. I think it looks fine. I'm not any good at decorating, so its quite plain. The walls are white. No pictures. "You have nice furniture. I need to get some. Where'd you get it?" "Actually my dad made lots of it. That's why most of it looks the same. The other stuff I got from Ikea." I like Ikea because its not hard to make your place look the same throughout, its practical, and its fun to put together. It's like Lego for adults. "I'll have to go there sometime." "Ya. Its a great store." Then the silence came again. "I have to go," he said finally. "Of course. Thanks for coming over." "Thanks for the grocery thing..." "Ya. See you." Then he left. I was surprised at how much I hated him leaving. It actually kind of scared me. It wasn't 'Love at first sight'; I don't believe in that. Love is something people work at. I did like him the first time I saw him though. And now I hate it when he leaves. Oh well. 'This is probably something I can ignore,' I thought. Right. I made some dinner, (homemade pizza) then sat down on to do some research on some thing for work, while listening to the radio. Roger says he wonders how I can do anything while listening to "that modern noise they call music". I like Rock, Punk, and Alternative. Bands like Sum41, Blink 182, Trapt, Closure, Theory of a Dead Man, Our Lady Peace, and Linkin Park. Not what you might expect from a counselor, but I don't think I fit into many stereotypes. I Finished the stuff for work. I read Calvin and Hobbes for a bit (I told you I was boring) and listened to the radio play Finger Eleven. Eventually I went out for a run. I came back, had a quick shower, did all those night-time routine things, then went to bed. Chapter 3. I really should figure out how to change that alarm to the radio. I got up to turn it off. Its a good thing I like my work, because if I didn't, I would never get up. I went to see if Ryan was using the bathroom. He wasn't. I did my morning stuff, and got dressed. Then I went to work. When I got to work Maria was looking happy again. "How did your date thing go?" I asked her. "Fine," she said trying to look calm. She didn't pull it off. "Only fine?" "Okay, it was amazing!" Then she went of to tell me all the details. Apparently they just sat there staring at each other the whole time. She kept telling me how perfect he was. It was a little depressing. Lunch was fun. I made plans to eat with my mom. She's an amazing person. She was one of those "straight-A" kids. She went to university, and was a teachers assistant for logic. She met my dad there and they got marries and all that. She became the logic professor. Then she decided she didn't like that, so she went into law. Now she does patent law to pay the bills, and animal welfare law, for charity. "So... How's work?" She asked after we had settled down. "Fine. How's yours?" I asked. She laughed. "Its always 'fine'. How's school? 'fine'. How's was dinner? 'fine'. How was that movie? 'fine' How was being abducted by aliens? 'fine'. You're almost as bad as your father. "Well then you should be used to it," I said. "Yes I should be. Work is slow. Not many bright new inventions. You're dad says 'Hello'. My dad did something in high-tech until I left home, then he started renovating their house and building furniture. He loves it. He makes it for relatives, but recently has started to sell his stuff. "How is Pops?" I asked. I call him Pops because of some inside joke we had along time ago that I have now forgotten. I think I was trying to make him feel old. He thought it was funny, and started calling me 'Sonny Jim' back. Jim for short. We had some good times. "Good. He has started building a sailboat recently. Thinks boats might be fun to build." Then she proceeded to tell me about the things he was building, and my brother and his wife (my brother moved to Toronto with his wife. He is 27. He is fine, except for the fact that he is a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. Everyone knows the Canucks are WAY better than the leafs.) The conversation turned to the inevitable after our food was served. "So... have you found a girl yet?" She asked. Why does everyone need to ask this? I haven't come out to my family yet, not because of their reaction, but just because it complicates things. Its too hard. Plus I honestly think they know. At least my mom does. She has always been very perceptive and sometimes I think she can read minds. I think she just has fun trying to make me uncomfortable. "Nope. Have you?" I replied. She laughed. "Have I what? Found a girl yet, or found YOU a girl yet?" "Whichever is worse." "Well I've done neither. But I am starting to think I should start looking. For you, I mean. You know how you're so busy at work. That is the reason isn't it?" She asked the last question with a false innocent expression. See what I mean? She knows and is trying to get it out of me. She is kind enough not to ask me outright though. She probably knows I wouldn't lie about it. "You AREN'T going to try to find someone, because, knowing your tastes, it'll end up being some quadriplegic Mongolian nun, that can only turn left on her goat. [please don't take any offence if you are a quadriplegic Mongolian nun, or have a goat that can only turn left.] And no, Its not that I'm busy at work. "Well then what is it dear?" She asked with an interested, contemplating look on her face, after politely chuckling at my joke. "Bad genes?" I said. She laughed. "That's Calvin and Hobbes." "Yup. I was reading it the other night." "Calvin and Hobbes is great. My favorite was always the card he made for his mother on Mothers Day. the one that went, Dear Mom, I was going to buy you a card, With hearts of pink and red. But then I thought I'd rather, Spend the money on me instead. It's awfully hard to buy things, When ones allowance is so small, So I guess you're pretty lucky, I got you anything at all. Happy mothers day. There I said it. Now I'm, done. So how about getting up, And making breakfast for your son." We both laughed. "I was going to copy that for you one year, but then I didn't." I told her. "You should have. It would have been funny." And then we talked about more unimportant things like more Calvin and Hobbes, and Bill Bryson's new book (she was reading it) the restaraunt, the food, What she had bought on Granville Island, etc. We had a good time and it was good to talk to her. I finished work and went home. I was surprised to see Ryan at my door when I got there. He was pacing back and forth in front of my door. When he saw me, his eyes lit up. "I need to talk to you," He said. "You know when I said 'feel free' to talk to me anytime, I didn't mean right away," I said jokingly, trying to calm him down. He didn't laugh, either because it wasn't actually very funny, or because he was so worked up. I opened the door and let us in. "Um... I... caught my b... girlfriend cheating on me... what should I do?" He asked. "What?" I said stupidly. He repeated himself. 'His 'girlfriend' must be that guy I saw him with,' I thought. 'Do I let him know I know about him being gay?' I decided not to, at least yet. He would tell me in his own time if he wanted to. "Well did you to talk to hi... her?" I asked "I kinda walked in on them... she saw me looking at them. I just came home." "How do you feel about this?" I asked. "I don't know. We weren't like in love or anything... But I trusted him and then he went off and did this..." He looked at me to see if I caught his slip. I didn't show any signs of noticing it. Although privately I was very happy that he wasn't 'in love'. I had a chance! "Okay before we go any farther I would like you to know a few things. First, we are now in a counseling session which means that everything said, by either of us, is confidential, unless I get your permission, or someone is being abused, in which case I have to tell the authorities. Luckily I don't think that is a problem here. Secondly, I think we need to be totally truthful with each other. This is largely based on trust and so, it will not be nearly as effective if either of us are dishonest. Also, I would like you to know that I am (at least I feel I am) a pretty non-judgmental person and will try look at all situations with an open mind. Please tell me if you are uncomfortable with anything." "Wow. That was a lot. How do you remember all that?" "Practice. Lots and lots of practice. So... before we really start would you like anything? Some coffee or something?" "Coffee sounds wonderful." "So are you going to talk to her?" "Who?" "You're girlfriend." I'd pretend he had a girlfriend as long as he wanted to. "Oh, right. Eventually I guess. I don't want to right now." "It is possible this was a big misunderstanding." "I don't see how its possible to misunderstand his dick up..." He stopped in mid-sentence realizing he was saying too much. He followed up with, "I don't think so." "It may not seem very likely, but its possible. I'd also like to tell you again that it might help to be totally open. Trust me I can take pretty much anything. It would take a lot to surprise me." He looked up at me nervously then apparently saw something interesting on his hands. "I think I should tell you something... Um... I'm well... I'm gay." Then he looked back up at me to see my reaction. I smiled. It didn't seem to be what he was expecting. "I know. I saw you and you're 'girlfriend' In the hall the other night." "What? Why didn't you say anything?" He asked. He lost his nervousness and was now very surprised. "What's to say? 'Oh hello new neighbor. Isn't this crazy weather we've been having? Oh by the way I saw you feeling up you're lover the other night. So how's being gay working out for you?'. Plus, its better for both of us to hear it from you." "I guess..." I passed him his coffee. "So what's you're boyfriends name?" "Andrew." Well, Kronk was close. "How long have you been seeing each other? "About two months." "Was it very serious?" "Serious enough that he shouldn't have done this. Not serious enough to keep me from considering leaving him." Well that's perfect. "It would be hard to continue a relationship where you couldn't trust you're partner." "Ya..." He looked like he was thinking. We were both woken from thought by the sound of pounding at the door across the hall. We looked at each other. "Fuck," he said. Then added, "Sorry." "My poor virgin ears. Is that swearing?" I said sarcastically. "What do you want to do?" "I guess I should talk to him. I just don't want to do it right now." "Would you like me to talk to him?" "No... I wouldn't mind if you got him to leave though. I'd hate for him to dent my door." "I'll see what I can do." I went to the front door and opened it. Andrew was standing outside Ryan's door hammering on it with his fist. "Excuse me," I said, "but could you please stop that. Its rather irritating." "I need to talk to him." "That's wonderful. Could you leave please." I was a bit 'sharper' than I intended to be, but he'll get over it. He scowled at me, then left. "'Bye." I went back inside. Ryan was sitting on the couch when I got back. "He's gone," I said. "For now. He'll be calling all night." "You could stay here," I said hopefully. "That way you wouldn't be bothered by the phone. You could have the bed." I also thought of unhooking the phone, but didn't mention it. Anytime I got to spend with Ryan was good time, and the more, the better. "Are you sure? I couldn't take your bed but staying here might be nice." "Okay sounds good. But you WILL take the bed. You're my first guest to spend the night, so humor me?" "Fine," he said as if he were taking on some great burden. I laughed "Good. So what should we do now. Its almost six." "I just want to sit here and think... Sorry if I ruined your plans." "No I had nothing planned anyways. I am a very boring person. I don't usually do much in the evenings. I think I might go swimming though. You're welcome to come, but you probably don't want to. Make yourself at home." Actually I would have loved to stay, but he looked like he wanted to be alone so I thought I should leave. "Ya. Thanks." After I showed him where some food was and something to drink if he felt like it, I got my swimming stuff together and left. I went to the pool to swim for an hour and a half. On the way back I stopped at a store and got some chicken. When I got home, Ryan was asleep on the couch. He looked even more beautiful when he slept. I went to the kitchen to cook the chicken. I decided I was going to make fajitas. I made the sauce for the chicken. Then I cut up some tomatoes and lettuce, and grated some cheese. When the chicken was done I thought I'd go wake up Ryan, but it turned out he was already awake. "Something smells good," he said as he put his arms around me. I turned around and he pulled back quickly, muttering, "Sorry... forgot where I was... thought you were ..." "Its fine, I understand." I just wanted him to do it again. Then there was an awkward silence. I broke it by saying, "I think dinner is ready. Do you feel like eating?" "Yes I'm starving." I was too. I put all the stuff on the table and we ate. When we were done, I asked him what he would like to do. "Do you have any movies? I wouldn't mind watching one." "My movie collection isn't amazing. I started buying them when I moved in here. I only have a few." "That's fine. What have you got?" "Um... Stealing Harvard, Remember the Titans, Zoolander, Austin Powers, The Bone Collector, The Thomas Crown Affair, Blood Work, Don't Say a Word, Monsters Inc., Josie and the Pussycats , and X-men." "You have Josie and the Pussycats? Why?" "It's kind of an inside joke. My friend and I watched it and it reminded us of our friends, so we made it our 'favorite movie', even though it actually wasn't that good. It's pretty funny though." "And what are all the disney movies about?" "More jokes. We used to go home from school at lunch, change into our pajamas, and watch disney movies. Then we'd change back, and go back to school. It was great fun. Of course we'd have to take turns buying the movies. These are the ones I got stuck with." "Oh, I see. Sounds like you had fun. What's Zoolander about?" "Its pretty funny also. Ben Stiller is this really stupid male model and he's been brainwashed to kill the prime minister of Malaysia. My dad thinks it is hilarious." "Lets watch that" "Okay." So we did. Ryan liked it a lot, and it was good to see him laughing. I loved his laugh. When the movie ended an hour and a half later we started quoting our favorite parts. "You know I think I should start a center like he did. I could call it the "Ryan Smith center of kids who can't read good (and want to learn to do other things good too)" He said laughing. "Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty" He laughed again. "Mer-man," Then did that weird little cough from the movie, "MER-MAN!" We both laughed. "Good times, good times." I said. "Well I'm gonna go to bed soon," he said, "So good night." "Ya me too. 'Night. Oh wait... Remember how I said it was all confidential unless I got your permission?" "Yes," he said slowly. "Well, I wanted to talk about it with the counselor I share the building with. Is that okay?" "I guess. Why though?" "Just because two heads are better than one." "Okay." he said shortly. I went to my room to get my pajamas (usually I just wear boxers but since someone was over I thought it best to wear pajamas) and then went to brush my teeth and all that stuff. I got a blanket and settled down on the couch. I didn't get to sleep right away though because I was thinking of the wonderful time I had with Ryan. 'Even if nothing happens between us,' I thought, 'at least we're friends.' End of Chapter 3. Well, what did you think? E-mail me and tell me. I thought the second chapter was a little short and boring, so I combined it with the third. The next story might be a while. I am getting busy with school, and the next chapter is only about half way done. I'll remind you again to e-mail me. I'll be very dissapointed in you if you don't. If for nothing else, you should e-mail me asking how I can be dissapointed in people who read my story and don't e-mail me, if I have no way of knowing who has read my story without them e-mailing me. You can also e-mail me to ask me to make more sense. Just for repititions sake: E-MAIL ME!!! imawriter00@yahoo.ca (Its .ca not .com)