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Damn Those Killer Dimples
The next morning, found us rudely awakened by a loud noise--it sounded like gunfire. We both jumped from our bed, and looked out the window of our motor home. We saw nothing, so we decided to get dressed, although we were rather skimpily clad. Since we were going jogging once again, we saw no need in dressing to the hilt. We opened the motor home door to leave, and found a very brisk 34 degrees meeting us. We closed the door and decided we'd better dress somewhat differently. We both put on sweat pants and long sleeve sweatshirts--his was light blue, it really looked good on him. Mine was a light tan. We once again opened the door and started our warm-ups. After about five minutes, we took off. The pain in my chest had subsided, and I was feeling better. We never did find out what had caused that loud noise earlier.
After about an hour, I was really getting tired--Matthew it seemed could go on and on and on--like the energizer bunny. He ran circles around me as I slowed my pace. Finally, I just stopped, as he continued around me in circles. He was egging me on, but I was too pooped. I just walked back to the motor home. He continued circling me for a few minutes, and then walked with me. I was breathing abnormally heavy, as I was gasping for breath. Matthew looked really concerned, so he picked me up and carried me almost half a mile back to the motor home. He then drove me to a nearby minor emergency clinic. Once they found out the nature of the call, they pushed me to the top of the waiting list--they were concerned too.
Matthew had told them that my breathing had not slowed to normal for more than forty-five minutes. They put me on oxygen, and my breathing slowly returned to an acceptable level after a few minutes. They did some blood work, which would be analyzed in their own laboratory--the results would be known quickly. After checking my heart rate, they put electronic leads on me in strategic areas of my body and had me jogging on a treadmill. They were monitoring everything. I once again started breathing heavily, but the machines showed nothing abnormal. They were puzzled, as they slowed the treadmill back to a normal walking pace. I was placed once again on oxygen.
Matthew had been at my side during the entire time, and I could see the worry on his face, although, he tried not to show it. I was worried too, but the doctors reassured both of us that I was in capable hands. My breathing soon returned to normal once again, just as the lab reports had been completed. The doctors milled over them, and concluded that I did indeed have a mild heart attack. They gave me a mild sedative, and started me on some blood thinner medications. They told me, I should be attended by my own physician and strongly issued a warning to the same. We finally agreed that it would be all right to continue on to San Antonio. It was there, I would be thoroughly examined, as San Antonio was a medical mecca, and had an excellent cardio-clinic--it was world-renowned.
Matthew wheeled me out of the emergency clinic, and carried me to the awaiting motor home. He laid me on our bed, and then drove us back to the RV Park where we were staying. Once there, he came back and laid on his back beside me--he motioned for me to crawl upon him, and I did. He held me in place, as I slept for hours. This really had him concerned, for I normally wouldn't take an afternoon nap. As I awoke, I played with him, but he wasn't grinning or smiling--he was adamantly concerned--he was worried, although he tried to hide it. But I could read him like a book. "Don't worry love. I'll be alright." But my next statement really upset him. "Look, if it's God's will that I'm no longer around, I want you to promise me that you won't do anything drastic. I want you to find another, and be as happy and loving with him, as you've been with me. You can grieve, but don't go overboard with it. I want you to be happy. You won't have to fret about money, I've changed my will, and with the exception of taking care of Evan financially, you get everything."
Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was uncontrollably sobbing. It pained me to see him like that, but he had to let it out. I hugged him with all my strength, and cried too. We were a huddled together for a good two hours, as sleep had taken us both. He woke up first and lightly rubbed my naked body. It felt so good waking up with his ministering love to me as he was.
"I promise, I'll be good if what you say does happen. I won't do anything drastic--I promise, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to find another you. They broke the mold after you were born." I chuckled at the thought, and suddenly, my chest erupted in fierce pain. I clutched my chest, and blackness came. Apparently, 911 had been called as I was revived, and I found myself still in our motor home with a very upset and crying Matthew nearby. They rushed me to the hospital, and the doctors decided to have me airlifted to San Antonio as soon as I had recovered sufficiently.
Matthew attended to my every need and want, as he stood near me. I just smiled at him and then said, "Whatever the Lord wants, he will do. Don't worry, I'm in his hands and the good doctors as well." He erupted once again with tears, but I reached up and took his hand and stroked his ever so strong forearm and smiled. Soon his tears subsided, and wiped his face with his other hand. My hunk was trying to be brave, but wasn't handling it very well. I was beginning to worry about him. If I passed on, I didn't want him to hurt himself. Even though I did relish the thought of him joining me in paradise, I wanted him to take his sweet time before it happened to him. I asked him to go do some errands for me, and that cheered him up a little. Once he left I buzzed the nurses station. I asked for my cell phone, but they said I couldn't use it in the hospital with all the sensitive electronic devices. I told them I needed to make a phone call to a cruise ship. They said it could be done through their phone service. I gave the male nurse the number and he dialed it.
Evan was put through immediately. "This is Evan, I faintly heard." I asked him to speak up as I could barely hear him. "Is this CJ?" he asked. "Yes, I can't talk loud. I'm in the hospital in El Paso with a heart attack." My chest was beginning to ache once again, so I tried to calm down and not worry about it. "A heart attack," he yelled. "Yeah, it's pretty bad too. They'll be airlifting me to San Antonio tomorrow," I said as I took a deep breath. "It's that bad huh?" he asked. "Yeah, they say I may not make it, and Matthew's taking it really hard. I'm worried about him if something was to happen to me. Do you think, maybe you and Curt could return and you fly to San Antonio, we both need you." I was hoping Evan would agree, and boy did he agree. "We'll be on the next planes out--Curt to Phoenix, and me to San Antonio. You have your cell phone with you?" he asked. "Yeah, but they won't let them be used in hospitals, with all the sensitive electronics and all." "Well, how do I get in touch with you?" "Call a friend of mine, his name is Steve. He'll know where I'll be. Let me get his number for you." The male nurse handed me my address book and I read off the address and phone number for Evan. "Ok, don't worry, I'll be in San Antonio as soon as possible. Tell Matthew to hold in there, ok?" "Yeah, I will, and I promise I'll make it up to both you and Curt. You deserve some time together," I said, as I took another deep breath. "Don't you worry your sweet ass about us. We'll handle it alright." "Ok, see you soon Evan, and thanks."
With that, I hung up the phone and told the nurse about my chest pain. He got hold of the doctor right away, and pills were soon at my disposal. Matthew walked in as I was taking them. Panic was written all over his face. The doctor ushered him out of the room, and then I began to worry even more. The male nurse saw through me and approached. He reached out his hand and stroked my forearm in a reassuring manner. I felt better.
Matthew came into the room once again, and he didn't seem so upset. "Looks like we'll be leaving here pretty soon. You up for a plane ride?" he asked. "Well, I guess so if you're going with me." The look on his face was priceless. "I'd like to see `em keep me from it," he said it with a smile. Damn those Dimples of his.
A few hours later, I found myself sedated, and woke up in San Antonio, with Matthew at my side. "Hey there stud." "Hey there yourself," Matthew responded. "I see they let you come on the flight, huh?" I asked. "Well there was a bit of an argument, but they finally conceded to the fact that I was going along for the ride."
"Well, I'm glad they saw it your way," I chuckled. "Well, do I have a doctor here yet?" I asked. "Not really, you have a whole team of `em." he remarked with a huge grin on his face. "Well, I see. You probably put the fear of God Almighty in them didn't you?" I asked. "Yeah, guess I did." "Hey, Bubba, will you do me a huge favor and phone a friend of mine who live here. Let him know where I am and tell him to be expecting a phone call from Evan when he arrives." The look on his face was of surprise to say the least. "Evan's on his way?" he asked. "Yeah, after I sent you on your errands yesterday, I phoned him and asked that he put his trip on hold and meet us here in San Antonio." Matthew looked so hurt so I asked him what was up.
He looked as if I had spat in his face. "It's nothing, I guess I'm not good enough to help you." he remarked. He was really upset that I had phoned Evan and asked him to come. "Bubba, come here you big lug." He came over to the side of the bed and I reached for his hand. I cupped it strongly with both hands, and then continued on. "I wanted him to be here with you if something were to happen to me. I need him here just in case. I have a feeling that everything will be all right, but if it doesn't he needs to be here for you. You understand don't you?" The look of concern and love was so evident upon my used-to-be-rent boy. I then started tearing up. "I understand. He's been with you a long time, and he needs to be here too. If something bad does happen, he'll need me as much as I will him. We'll support each other.."
"Well nothing's going to happen, so get over it." Just as I said that, I clenched my chest in pain. Soon I was out like a light.
Bubba's (Matthews) perspective.
I quickly buzzed the nurse's station and got a quick response from both nurses and doctors. The monitors were blaring the squealing and pulsating with noise. I looked up and saw the horizontal line going steadily across it and of course I panicked. I ran out of the room to let the doctors do their thing to try to revive my CJ. Evan appeared just as I had ran out. He saw the look on my face, and hugged me for what seemed an eternity. I told him what had just happened, and he too was in a state of panic. After what seemed like hours, but actually only minutes, one of the doctors appeared. He said they had revived him, but they were going into surgery soon. The doctor explained that they had discovered one of his heart valves was leaking, and that there was a hole in another. He seemed confident of the surgical procedure, but warned both Evan and I that it could be bad. He wanted his safety net, just in case things went wrong.
Evan and I were on pins-and-needles. We were allowed to see him, just before they put him under with sedatives. Evan went first and briefly talked encouraging words to my CJ. He hugged and kissed him just before he left. CJ and I looked longingly at each other, smiled, and kissed passionately. We said nothing to each other, and then finally, I broke our embrace, and stroked his muscled chest. I gave him the tweak of his life on his nipples and then said: "I'll always love you. See ya soon." I left without looking back.
The procedure took what seemed like hours upon hours. Evan and I were there for each other as we both hugged and cried in each other's arms. Other's in the waiting room didn't understand what we were going through, but offered us their support. A doctor entered the waiting room, but it wasn't CJ's. Instead, he told the waiting people how sorry he was, but that their loved one hadn't made it through his surgical procedure. Evan and I hugged each other even more strongly. I broke down, and so did Evan. We were really upset with the news of the other patient, as we were waiting on news too.
Finally, our doctor arrived in the waiting room. He looked at us, but I couldn't make out whether he had good news or bad. I approached him. He nodded and told us to sit down. "Oh God, no!!!" I said." And with that I collapsed.
Thanks again to TG and Craigger. Words can't express how much you guys have done for me.