Date: Sat, 9 Jun 2012 11:59:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: J M <jm08nyc@yahoo.com>
Subject: Everything Goes Awry: Chapter Three

Thanks for taking the time to read this story. It's my second posted on
this site.  This is just the start, and based on your feedback will
continue to develop it.  Any/all thoughts are
appreciated. Thanks. jm08nyc@yahoo.com.

CHAPTER THREE

I saw Thomas sitting a table outside the bar as I walked up the street, and
a huge sense of relief washed over me. I had known Thomas probably longer
than anyone else who lived in Paris, and he was my best friend, business
partner and confidant. He kept me sane on those days when no one else or
nothing else could. This summer was the longest I had ever gone without
seeing him in person, and it felt so good to come back to something that I
could label as normal, the same, whatever.

When he saw me, Thomas hopped up from the table and came running up to
me. Giving me a huge hug. God it felt good to see him.

"Hey, bud, it's so good to see you," he practically screamed.

"I missed you, too," I laughed back. It felt good to laugh. "How's the
family?"  Thomas had gotten married about five years ago and was raising
two little girls with his wife, a Parisian woman who was just incredibly
lovely.

"Good, good. Everyone's good. They're looking forward to seeing you. You're
coming for dinner on Friday night. No ifs, ands or buts about it."

I laughed. Again. Feeling good. A bright spot in a low day. "Of course, I'd
love to."

We sat down and the conversation flowed naturally. Focused on work. Thomas
getting me ready for what I'd be walking into.

***

Hours later, in the dark of the Paris night, I slipped into the
house. Feeling the quiet envelope me. Spending some time with Thomas had
been good for me. While we had talked all summer, it was different sitting
across a table from him.

I didn't switch on the lights as I moved through the hall. Despite how long
I'd been away, I could still navigate the house like the back of my hand. I
moved down the left side of the hall passed the stairs, passed my bedroom
and stopped before the living room, just outside the study. I pushed open
the door and made my way inside. The wall of books just as I had
remembered, glowing in the moonlight streaming through the windows.

This was my space. Cooper had left his mark on virtually every other room
in the house, and the studio upstairs was all his, but this was mine. It
was as though he always enjoyed a room that was mine, slipping inside and
feeling enveloped inside me and my world.

I sat down on the couch in the study. This was my single favorite piece of
furniture in the world. It's odd to have a favorite piece of furniture I
suppose, but I did. I had the couch custom-built years ago, after I
successfully landed my first client when I started my agency. It was extra
deep, extra thick, and perfect for lounging to read a book or watch a
movie.

I lay down. And rested my head on the arm of the sofa, pulling a blanket
over me and praying for that a deep, dreamless sleep would come to me.

***

I awoke with a start. Momentarily unable to place myself. My sleep. My
night. My world. Out of context. I could smell coffee. Sophie was in the
house. I rolled over and saw the first rays of sun streaming through the
windows. I stretched my long frame out, filling the couch and feeling that
momentary flinch of being alive. I looked down at myself. Still dressed in
my clothes from the night before.

I wrapped the blanket around me and went in search of coffee.

***

Today was Wednesday.

I watched the landscape of the city glide by my window as Emile deftly
weaved in and out of the early morning Paris traffic, knowing just when to
switch lanes, when to speed up or slow down, and which left turn would get
us there on time.  I breathed deeply. Relying on relaxation techniques I
had learned a lifetime ago to help steel myself for the day ahead.

I hit the button and the window slid down, my hand dropping outside, being
pushed back by the wind, but pushing forward in response. Relentless.

Another deep breath.

We'd arrived. I leaned out the window and looked up at the building. The
building which had helped to make so many parts of my life a reality. The
building that Thomas had managed all summer long. The building that I must
now enter.

***

The lift doors opened silently on the twelfth floor, exposing me to the
site of the floor before me. One hundred and forty-five employees worked
here. Laughed here. Cried here. Created here. Made great progress together
here.

Everyone knew I was returning today, of course. Just as they had all known
when Cooper left. When I left. Thomas had attempted to keep office
chit-chat to a minimum, but it was partly just human nature to be curious.

"Bonjour, Andrew," I heard softly from my right, pulling me out of my
reflection on the scene before me. It was Stephanie, my assistant.

"Bonjour, Stephanie, comment etes-vous?"

"Very well, thank you, it's wonderful to have you back in the building. If
you'll allow me to say."

"Of course. Thank you. Should we get on with the day? Will you lead the
way?"

And she did, taking the reins, as she was so capable of doing, leading me
around the outside of the floor and up the glass staircase at the far end
to the offices upstairs. To my office. Talking the entire time. I kept my
smile on as we walked throughout the office, making eye contact, nodding my
head and saying "bonjour" as staffers stopped in their routine to welcome
me back. My only response to Stephanie as she chattered was the occasional
"yes" or "oui." I must start focusing on what she's actually saying. I felt
like I was in a fog.  The buzz of the office softened, distanced by the
long summer. The clack of Stephanie's heels against the glass stairs
brought me momentarily back. "Merci, Stephanie, merci. Thank you so much
for taking care of so much while I've been gone."

"You're most welcome, Andrew, that's what I'm here for."

We had arrived at my office. It seemed to be just as I had left it. I took
a few minutes to get my bearings. Take stock of things. Something was
different. The flowers on the table, yes. That must've been Stephanie. I
walked along the windows, overlooking Paris. The books on the cases below
all looking in order.  And then I noticed, the pictures. About a third of
them were missing, and the rest had been re-arranged to cover their
absence.

I didn't need to look closer to know which ones were gone. Cooper. He had
been carefully edited from my life, just like the copywriters downstairs
edited commas and quotations. Cooper. Gone.

I sat down at my desk. And threw myself into my work.

***

It had been an unusually productive day, I thought to myself as the sun set
outside my windows. I got up from the conference table and padded over to
my desk, having shucked my shoes hours ago and spent the day in updates
with my senior staff. Fortunately, Stephanie had stacked the day with
meetings, leaving me little time to think about the missing pictures, or
missing man, in my life.

Hearing each team update on their progress over the last three month,
accomplishments, new projects, even a few awards they had won felt
good. Surrounded by the team who had become my family over the last few
years, Thomas and the rest, felt good.

I sunk into my desk chair, just as the phone started to
ring. Daniel. Caller ID must be one of the greatest inventions of the last
twenty years. I hadn't spoken to Daniel in a few days, and after having
gone the entire summer with our daily chats, I was reminded of everything
that had changed in my life since May.

"Hello, brother," I said, picking up the phone. "I've missed our daily
updates."

"Yoooooooooooooo!"

I laughed. If nothing else, Daniel could always make me laugh. I put my
feet up on the desk, watching my team starting to leave the office for the
evening, through the glass walls of my office, as I settled in for a
brotherly chat.  "What's the word?"

"Well, you tell me! You've finally left that shack you spent the summer
wallowing in, you're back in the city, you're back at work. I think there's
more going on with you than going on with me. So spill the beans."

Daniel was a couple of years younger and was still living in New York
City. He was a corporate lawyer, who had just gotten engaged to his high
school sweetheart. He was sort of your typical all American guy. And one of
my closest friends, in addition to being my brother.

"Uh," where to begin... I stalled. "It's been weird being home. Sophie's
almost being nice to me, which I feel like is a sure sign that I must be
far worse off than I had imagined. It's incredibly hard being in the
house. There are signs of Cooper everywhere. I can't escape him. But, at
the same time, I don't know that I want to escape him. I mean, it's been
four months, but it feels like yesterday, and seeing the life that we
shared together, almost as if it was someone else's has been really
weird..."

It was coming out of me now.

"...so I don't know. I feel like I've been saying that all summer, I
know. But I don't really know what's next. It was actually amazing to be
back at work today. I feel like I'm being productive. Back in my
element. Back in something that makes sense. Something that gives me
purpose. Fuck, Daniel, I really don't know what's next."

"Andrew, just take it one day at time. Things will start to fall into
place, and you'll begin to figure out what's next. And, I really wish you'd
come visit New York.  It's been almost a year since you've been home."

"Maybe later this fall," I said slowly in response. Not ready to face the
rest of the family. But knowing that I should.

"Don't worry, no reason to rush anything. Listen, I've got to run into a
meeting, but I'm going to check-in with you tomorrow morning. Make sure you
get some sleep tonight. You need it."

"Thanks, Danny, have a good day. Love you."

"Love you too, be good."

I let the phone fall back on the receiver and dropped my feet from the
desk, getting up to find my shoes. This was the toughest, dinnertime
alone. Nighttime alone. I shook the thought from my head as Thomas and
Stephanie walked into the office.

"So..."  Thomas started.

I stared.

Stephanie picked up, "...did you have an okay day? Would you like one of us
to drive you home?"

Their worry was palpable. And appreciated.

I laughed and shook my head, "no, no, guys. I'll be ok. Emile is waiting
downstairs, I'm going to head home, and just try and get some sleep or
something. Thank you both for making today an amazing first day back. And
thank you both for all your hard work over the summer. I haven't figured
out yet how to repay you for taking the lead while I've been gone, but I'm
going to do something special for you."

"No need to do anything, boss," Thomas said slowly. He only called me
"boss" when he was worried about me, being extra kind. "That's what we're
here for--well, if you don't need anything else, we'll head home as well."

"Yes, yes, please do. I'll see you both in the morning."

Thomas left me with a long stare and then turned and walked out of the
office.  Stephanie followed a few seconds later with a quick, "bonsoir" she
was gone.

And I was alone. Again.

***

As night settled over the city, Emile pulled the car up in front of the
house on Rue Charlot. "Tout ce que je peux faire pour vous, ce soir,
monsieur?"  I heard from the front.

"Merci, no, Emile. Bonsoir." I replied stepping out of the
back. "Rendez-vous dans la matinée."

Back to the big, empty house.

Up the stairs. To the front door. It was late, Sophie would be gone, but
some sort of dinner would be waiting for me. But, I had no appetite. I put
the key in the lock, as I noticed something taped to the front door. A
note?

Yes.  A note. All it had was a letter "A" written on the front.

Written in a very familiar handwriting.

Fuck.

TO BE CONTINUED.