My flight was scheduled for eight forty-five but would likely be delayed for at least another hour. Great, that meant another hour of sitting in the gate lounge , trying to calm my nerves, with nothing more than commercial TV for distraction. I tried the Sheraton again, surely he would have checked in by now! He had promised to call me the moment he landed, but I had quite absent-mindedly forgotten to switch my mobile back on after the concert.
My arch-enemy had played relatively well for a change. I had never missed a concert of his, as much as I hated the fact that he had played more often with the orchestra than the rest of us pianists put together. Passion, he always played with passion, feeling, immense sensitivity, almost enough to be forgiven for playing too slowly and making wrong notes. Notice, I said almost , not quite , -especially not when it was the very same piece I had slaved to render note-perfect. Did he reduce everyone to such helpless desire?
The receptionist put me on hold while she checked the computer. So I'm landed with listening to that Mozart concerto that the bastard had stolen from me last January. I could have played it so much better, but even that was not so frustrating as the fact that I could no longer deny my attraction to him. I'd always considered myself straight, never even thought about-
"Yes, he checked in at 8:30, would you like me to put you through."
"Yes, please"
Well, of course I'd thought about it, but never with anyone in mind -come on, where are you, pick up the phone! ,
I told him I'd be late. He said it was fine and to call for him when I arrived, he would meet me down in the foyer and we'd find some place to go. We continued to chat, as I made my way around the corner to the airport bar. I didn't usually drink, but I had to make an exception, if only for tonight. How else was I to relax and be my cool and confident self, when my body was charged with all the anxiety -panic of every performance I'd ever been faced with, in one?
The liquor went straight to my head, so much so, I almost fell asleep on the plane, thinking about my enemy, the way his face transformed as he played, with the agony and ecstasy of an obsessive lover...........if he would hunger for me as he did for music! But it was hopeless, he was probably straight - far be it from me to arrogantly assume!
After that concert (the Mozart concerto) , I had tried to distract myself on the Internet -only to finish up, of all places, on some triple X gay porn site. That's where I'd seen him, the lithe dancer's body I had wanted to suck off the screen and a face so much like the enemy....I had lost myself and written to him. He quickly replied, wanting to know what I looked like, saying how he liked to have "fun in Australia". Now I was on my way to meet him, about to "lose it" for the second time, if neither of us backed out. It had better be worth those email disasters, PHUCK!
PHUCK, in case you're wondering, is "net-speak" for Particularly Humiliating (and) Undesirable Computer Kock-up. Yes, I can spell, but cock-up or fuck, spelt the usual way would be both too fraught with double entendre. One was quite enough -or should have been enough for me.
I did have one, right here in Melbourne. I can picture her now, her violet eyes, the beautiful smile she always had to welcome me. I was supposed to marry her after I graduated, me the eternal perfectionist, yet there was one great scar of imperfection, me. I was about to cheat on her and then what? Go right back to Tasmania, as if nothing had happened, I couldn't. I was going to have to tell her, but as it was, I couldn't even bring myself to think about how.
Quarter to eleven, find myself a cab, driver studies map for what seems like ages, trying to locate what is one of the most talked about motels in Victoria. Finally arrive, check in, find my room on the second floor from the top, collapse on the bed, oh how I would dearly love to sleep right now! Not tonight! Jump in the shower, change my mind again of what I'm going to wear, stare at my reflection, think with such treacherous delight that he has already seen me without these clothes. Lusts so dark and delicious he had expressed in such graphic detail, via email. Email I had been careless enough to leave on the server. But nothing lasts for ever, not even the fear that someone has the means with which to destroy you!
The Sheraton wasn't far, another cab ride, but this driver knew where he was going. My net-boy seemed somehow more appealing in the flesh. Though incredibly sexy, he had almost seemed too perfect in photographs. But this man was real and his gaze was warm and inviting. Neither of us knew what to say, so we did what Internet friends do, we hugged. My hands explored his finely muscled back through his shirt, I wanted to slip them inside.....Reluctantly, I pulled away, noticing the concierge was looking at me strangely.
We went to a club in the centre of Melbourne and sat in the far corner, where conversation wasn't made impossible by loud dance music. I watched a group of women sitting on each others laps, men openly kissing each other. Net-boy was talking to me about the porn industry, how he had chosen a modelling contract over university and been "seduced" by the money and what it could buy. I told him what I liked most about having money was being able to travel and study music. I didn't mention my fear of everything else I loved being lost, pity was not what I wanted from him.
"Is this your first time in a place like this?", he wanted to know.
"Yes," I replied.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"No, just thinking -", I caught my breath as his hand touched my leg. The next thing I knew we were kissing and he was rubbing steadily at my crotch. "That's more like it", he whispered, lingering with his tongue on the side of my neck, before returning to my hungry mouth. I couldn't believe how much I wanted him! My hands pressed into his buttocks, just touching his balls with my fingertips. I had spent so many sleepless nights in anticipation of this moment, now I was about to make it happen.
"My room or yours?", I asked tentatively. His was closer.
We hardly made it in through the door, before he grabbed my ass and we were on the floor and tearing at each other"s clothes. I had no time to think about how beautiful he was, whether he thought me good enough or even if he cared. He drew my throbbing cock into his mouth and I wanted to scream. Pleasure, so intense and I knew it could only get better. Locking his ardent mouth around my head, he moved position bringing his 8" beauty almost up to my lips.
Reaching out with my tongue, I took his waiting cock-head very slowly, just as he had done for me. He let out a stifled moan of pleasure and I sucked even harder, bringing my hand up fondle his balls. His salty juices spilled in my mouth, as I explored the sensitive organ with my tongue. I found his pleasure points almost instinctively and was able to lead him to mine -or was he leading me? I didn't know how much more I could take of this.
As if he knew I were about to come, he rolled slowly onto his back, bringing me with him, taking me deeper and deeper down his throat , gripping tightly, my balls deliciously warm in his mouth. Afraid of hurting him, I tried desperately hard to keep still, as I came in violent waves and convulsions, drowning the back of his throat in floods. I thought I would pass-out; I had to finish him off.
Crouching between his legs, I enveloped his ballsac with my tongue. He moaned softly, fingertips. stroking the nape of my neck "mmmm, that's right, lick my balls, that's so good, oh........" He picked up one of my hands and curved it around his shaft. "You have such lovely hands", he breathed, "so strong, so soft, I want them all over me......oh.....!"
I thought of the enemy's hands -now they were beautiful- how often I wished he would stop playing wrong notes and play with me instead. Sucking with all my lust and passion on his sopping head, I rolled the shaft between my palms. This sent him over the edge and he spilt his seed copiously into my mouth. Exhausted, I relaxed with my head against his washboard stomach. He gently stroked my closely cropped hair as we lay there quiet and still.
"What do you say we hop in the spa and recover?"
"Oh, I'd love that", I sighed.
Warm, my skin caressed by jets of effervescence, leaning back against him, his strong arms around me, I felt very safe. I closed my eyes. His fingers teased my sensitive nipples, pinching them ever so gently, awakening my guilty pleasure. I felt his cock begin to swell against the small of my back, as he sucked on my long, pianist's fingers. Does he really have a fetish for my hands?, I wondered. I was slowly growing hard again myself, encouraged by his hand as it travelled slowly downwards. The heat of the spa had me exquisitely sensitive and his skilled hands were driving me into another orgasmic arrest, letting it all out with my vocal chords as I spurted hot cum all over my stomach and chest.
I took him again in my mouth, kneeling on the tiled floor, water dripping from our bodies. I was addicted. My hands stroked his rock-hard ass, fingering the crack between-"Oh, please!", he begged, "put your fingers inside me!" With alacrity, I slipped my wet index finger into his hole, exploring the velvety sensations along the sides of it's opening. His legs began to tremble, as I pressed on his hard little gland. I wrapped an arm around his taught waste to steady him, drawing his delicious cock even further into my mouth. I had three fingers inside him before I realised I was still wearing my engagement ring! Too late now!
His hips thrust in my face as my fingers fucked his ass in a steady rhythm. Suddenly his sphincter muscles clenched and in shock I let his cock slip out of my mouth as he erupted, spurting hot lava over me. We held each other as he massaged his luxuriant cream into my overheated skin. "My first impulse when I saw that one of you face down on the bed".
Why me?
"What else did you want to do to me?", I asked provocatively.
He wrapped his arms around me from behind and lead me to the huge king-size bed. Laying me down, his hands began to work on my trembling body, to loosen me up and -no doubt- give himself time. I couldn't believe his staying power -nor mine for that matter. As I relaxed and began to sink into the bed, he lightened his touch to a tingling feather-light caress. I shivered and he kissed my neck and licked his way down to the bass of my spine.
His kisses were electric, but the thought of letting him inside me was somewhat scary. I wasn't so much afraid of the pain as how vulnerable I felt right now. His hands, his mouth, his tongue all lavishing attention on my twin gates of entry, I savoured the intemperance. Then his tongue began to trace the cleft between, snaking in and out for a teasing moment. Sick with pleasure, I opened my legs even wider, giving him access, which he warmly rewarded.
His finger was to follow -my cock was growing hard and pressing into the bed-, probing me gently, suffusing me liberally with KY jelly .I tried not to panic. Two fingers, he was stretching me, surely his cock must be bigger! I could feel the tremor of his lust, the intensity of his fingers.
"Give it to me!", I beseeched through gritted teeth.
I held my breath, he pushed......the pain was excruciating, I gripped the wrought -iron bedhead fast, determined not to scream. Tears stung my eyes as he inched his way inside and I was overcome with thoughts of being violated. I buried my face deep in the pillow, this wasn't happening, yet at the same time, I wanted it. Agony and ecstasy, how close they are, slowly bleeding into one, coursing through my burning body as I writhed and pushed back against him. Parts of me I barely knew existed were stirred into vibrant consciousness. Soon he was drenching my insides in a hot cascade and I was somewhat disappointed.
"You know", he was telling me between kisses, "I don't usually do this for free."
"Yes, I know", I replied in a hoarse whisper. As a matter of fact I hadn't been sure, but neither was I surprised. "How much do you charge?"
"No, no, that's not it. I wanted you. ", he was kissing his way down towards my still--hard cock. "I never charge for what I want -and besides, I've never done a musician before."
"Seriously-" Whatever I might have said was silenced by the tide of his lingual caresses...........
All passion spent, we lay sharing the cream of my essence in a deep, languorous kiss. How easy it was to melt into the temporal sense of security, offered to me by the circle of his arms. "Come and stay with me", he was saying, "if you're ever lost in Southern California, you know where to find me."
The guilty get no sleep, but I could have slept forever.

If the sky cries over Melbourne, we complain.
I had very little to complain about, or so it would have seemed.
I was glad for once to hear her voice on the answering machine.
It was so much easier to address than the woman I loved,
telling her I really had to see her,
that it wasn't going to be easy-
hang-up quickly!

My eyes were swollen red from crying,
with plenty more to come.
Falling prostrate on the bed,
I let a fresh flood of tears soak the quilt.
I could still feel the touch of him all over me,
chilled with remorse, I still craved it.
I had found out what I had known from the outset
and more than I had wanted to know.
And I had no one but myself to blame.
I feared I was about to lose everything, all over again.