I walked back in the restaurant but noticed Morocco and his friend Idris walking out of the restaurant. For a minute I got a little scared and I don't know why. I guess I just figured Idris and Morocco were really good friends...but a part of me wondered if they could possibly be even more than that.
"Where are you guys?" I asked.
"We got a new story for the blog. The Ugandan government has gone on a witchhunt against gays. I think this is something that needs to be on our website..." Morocco stated.
"It's kind of late no?" I started, "I mean do you guys really just go to work alone?"
In the field that I worked in that wasn't the right sign. In the field I worked in when two people disappeared alone in the middle of the night they disappeared to go fuck. I could feel my heart racing. I shouldn't have felt jealous. I shouldn't have been questioning this. I wasn't here for Morocco. I couldn't hide the fact that I was suspicious and jealous though. Morocco and Idris both started to laugh at that moment as though I was wearing my feelings on my sleeves. Great...this was the last thing that I fucking needed.
Morocco stated, "Are you jealous?"
He was calling me out. This Morocco guy was so smart. He was so sexy too. His eyes were looking right at me as though looking through me. He was such an amazing fucking guy.
"No. No have fun with your....late shift..." I told him.
I rolled my eyes. I couldn't even pretend not to be upset about it. There was this dry feeling in my chest. What right did I have to be upset about this man knowing the kind of work I got into on a day to day basis? What right did I have to say anything at all to him? Still emotions didn't make sense.
I felt Morocco stop me and hold on tight. He had that look in his eyes. That look that made me want to give everything up. I could fall for him...I could fall for Morocco HARD!
"There is nothing going on between Idris and I," Morocco stated as though not wanting to play that jealous game at all.
Idris nodded next to him, "We're best friends."
I looked at Morocco and Idris. They weren't lying. There was nothing going on between them. It made me relieved to think that Morocco wasn't doing it.
"That's none of my business anyway," I stated shaking my head.
"Look why don't you come along," Morocco stated.
It was almost as though he was trying to prove that nothing was going on between him and Idris. It was almost like he cared. The fact that he was showing he cared kind of scared me. Men didn't show they cared unless they cared. The idea of this man caring about what I thought freaked me out.
"Are you asking me out again?" I asked.
"Only if you say yes," he smiled.
That smile was so white. It sparkled.
"That's not a good idea," I replied shaking my head.
"Burn..." Idris laughed.
I looked over at Idris. It was clear he was trying to embarrass Morocco. Morocco wasn't laughing with him though. I didn't mean to embarrass Morocco. He was such a nice fucking guy. It's just...it wasn't what I needed.
"Don't make me beg in front of my homie," Morocco told me, "I'll do it..."
Fuck. He was relentless.
"Fine, I guess just to see what you do for a living."
It was more because I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his friend Idris again. I liked Morocco probably more then I should have. I knew this was a bad idea. I should have been avoiding him. I should have been getting away from him but instead I was allowing him to pull me in. I kept trying to say no. I kept trying to avoid this situation but there was no way of doing that.
Morocco was more then relentless though. He opened the backseat of Idris's car to let me in. It was a very gentleman like thing to do. I gave him this look as he did it and he smiled as though playing a game with me. He knew how charming he was. I hopped into the backseat hoping.
A second later instead of jumping shotgun, he ended up going around the car to the other side.
"I'm big enough to sit in the backseat by myself," I told him as Idris started his car.
Morocco didn't seem to give two fucks that he had Idris driving us like we were in a taxicab or something. He wasn't paying attention to Idris at all. In Morocco's mind Idris barely seemed to exist. His eyes were glued onto me almost like I was hypnotizing him. Stop looking at me like that Morocco because I want so BADLY to stare back.
"I know. I just want to take every opportunity I can to be around you," he stated.
Fuck. My heart melted.
"I told Idris about you," Morocco told him, "How amazing you are..."
"He can't stop talking about you," Idris agreed from the front seat as he drove us away from the restaurant, "I can see why. Your pretty handsome..."
Idris was clearly flirting with me but Morocco was so into me that he didn't even seem to be noticing. I noticed everything though. I saw how Idris was looking at me in the rear view mirror. I didn't know whether it was the drinks at the restaurant or whether he was just a horrible friend but he knew Morocco had a thing for me. He didn't give a fuck.
"I'm not going to stop," Morocco told me with this determined look in his eyes, "Not until you give me a chance..."
"Morocco a guy like me...I'm no good for you."
I didn't know how else to explain it to him. I wasn't any good for him. I was an escort. It was the only thing that I was ever good at. I couldn't be good for him. That wasn't what this was about.
"Why do you think that?" he asked.
"Trust me Morocco."
"It seems like you don't trust yourself more then my stepsister. Khloe was at the table talking so much trash about how she didn't trust you."
That little bitch. She was going to be a problem. She was a problem that I had to deal with quickly. It was clear she was catching onto me and luckily the senator wasn't around to hear her. What if he was though. What would have happened then?
"I don't believe her. These people they are all about their politics but their lives are a lie. The little girl Khloe. How about she's a slut? One day I was in her room and I saw all these pics of her with huge dicks next to her fucking face."
"Was she sucking them?" I asked shocked.
"I mean she's a whore. Her father thinks she is just little miss precious though. He does whatever she says. Luckily he wasn't around to hear the trash she was spewing about you."
"The senator is running for president I heard..."
"Yes this upcoming term. Why do you think my mom got married to him? My grandfather is a famous captain and helping to fund the senator's campaign. It's all fucking politics."
A political marriage made sense. All of a sudden it made sense why Mrs. Patton didn't give a damn if I seduced her husband or not. She wasn't in this for love at all.
"Do you think he'll win?"
"Of course. He's famous. I'm going to be the black sheep of the family. The gay son of a Republican. I'll be an outcast."
"You aren't an outcast...you're amazing..."
I didn't know what I was saying until I had said it. I didn't know that my hand was on his hand when I said it. I quickly caught myself though and pulled back my hand. I turned towards the window and started looking out of it. It was a big fucking mistake me being here. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be around someone so physically attractive like Morocco. I was kicking myself.
The office was small, quaint little office. Idris had went straight to work on publishing a new blog but Morocco seemed to be...occupied. He didn't even log into his computer. There were little booths and Morocco walked me around as if he was a tour guide. . It was a shit hole really...hardly an office at all. Morocco didn't give a damn though. He was walking me around this place like it was some palace. He said he never asked his mom or his grandfather for a cent. He did it all on his own. He had so much pride. He was so comfortable talking about it. Before long I found my guard going down without even knowing it was.
"This is Method man," he stated.
We were at his desk. He picked up a little bobble head and showed it to me. I couldn't help but laugh at how much it looked like him. It was a light brown skin with beautiful eyes and black hair.
"My dad got it for me. He thought it was so hilarious that it looked like me," Morocco stated pushing the dolls head to make it bounce, "He couldn't really afford any real big gift though. He was never a rich man. My grandfather was pissed when my mother got with him. He was a black, nobody from the ghetto. It was everything my grandfather hated. I think everyone was kind of upset really in my family. When my mother had me it was the last straw. They completely blacklisted her. I never even grew up knowing my family."
I could feel my heart sink. Morocco and I slowly walked to a little break room. There was some privacy here but Idris wasn't far. The way he looked at me it said it all. There was pain there. I could feel it almost as though I was with him.
"They must have really loved each other at one point to go through all of that scrutiny," I offered trying so hard not to look in his eyes.
"They loved each other so much until my mother got sick."
"Cancer. My dad didn't have a job at the time. She had to do what she had to do. She had to go back to the family and get help. The only way they would help her is if she decided never to see my father again. At that point my mother's happiness was gone. By the time her cancer was in remission my father was long gone. I never saw him again."
That was deep. I could feel my lower lip shaking a little bit as he told me. I didn't want to feel the way that I was feeling now. He was opening up to me as though he had known me forever.
"My mother has since lived a lie. She does everything the family tells her to do including marrying for political reasons. As she decided to live in a lie, I decided to live my life exposing lies."
"The gossip site?"
He nodded, "Yup. It's my dream. It's not much. I'll probably never be rich but I'm living truthful. Do you have any dreams?"
"I promise I won't laugh," he said, "Tell me. I want to know more about you."
"I dream to be famous," I explained.
"Why would I laugh at that?"
"Because I have no talents. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't act. I have no skills. I'm horrible at public speaking and I'm not really smart. What is there to be famous from?" I asked, shaking my head. I stared at the ground.
I couldn't believe I was telling him this. This was what I kept so close to my heart. I didn't let anyone know about my dreams. I had told someone in the past and they laughed in my face. It didn't make sense. How the fuck does one just become famous from nothing.
He didn't laugh. He walked up to me and lifted my head. Our eyes connected. It was what I was trying to avoid this entire time.
"You can do whatever you put your mind to. If it was up to me you'd be famous just for existing..."
Our eyes locked. I could kiss him. I moved my head forward. I was giving into Morocco. Nothing seemed to matter now that he was here with me. I had just told him about my dream and he had no idea that he was the only thing standing between me and that dream. Morocco cupped the back of my head. He moved closer. He slid in between my legs. He separated them. I didn't stop him. I couldn't. My mind was screaming at me but my heart had completely given into him.
I could feel the cool scent of cinnamon as his lips paced just inches away from mine.
I could feel my heart stop as he pulled my face to his.
Our lips were just an inch apart.
"Hey..." we were interrupted by Idris.
I took in a deep breath of air. I was sweating. Morocco was intense AS FUCK. Being around him was driving me crazy day by day. I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't exist around him. The truth was I wasn't strong enough. I had to maintain my distance. Luckily Idris was there to break it up.
"Can we have a minute?" Morocco asked his friend, "We were in the middle of something..."
No...no we weren't. We were in the middle of kissing. He was in the middle of making me catch feelings for him. THAT COULD NOT HAPPEN.
"Your mother called...she's on the line. She wants to talk to you," Idris stated.
"Fuck. Ok...hey...can we finish this in a second?" Morocco asked me with these desperate eyes, "I'll just be a second I promise."
Morocco left all of a sudden and ran into the main room to grab the phone. I expected Idris to follow behind him but Idris just looked at me. His eyes were examining me from head to toe. It made me kind of uncomfortable. He was the least of my concerns though. My concerns were getting away from Morocco.
"You and Morocco pretty close I see," Idris said.
Why the fuck was he asking me this? He had clearly walked in on us only seconds from kissing. It was more then clear that there was some heavy tension between Morocco and I. I didn't need Idris or anyone else for that matter in my shit.
"We're cool," I told him, "Things just got...intense. I'm trying not to make things too serious..."
"Good because you're sexy as fuck..."
Was he serious?
"Um...well thanks um...," I immediately responded and would have been a lot ruder but I needed his help, "Listen Idris. I need to get out of here before Morocco comes back."
I couldn't take the heat in the kitchen anymore. I couldn't take being around Morocco.
"Here I'll write down a cab number," Idris stated.
He was quick. Clearly he didn't want me and Morocco to continue what was going on. I could tell this guy had a crush on me. It was annoying really to see someone so shady to their friend and clearly try to flirt with me behind his back.
I grabbed the piece of paper out of his hands and watched as Idris carried on my touch for a lot longer then he should have. He was so inappropriate. He was ok looking but did he really think for an instant that I would turn someone sexy like Morocco down for him? There was no way in HELL. Morocco was a 20 on a scale from 1-10. Idris was probably a 7 on a good day.
"Can you let go of my hand?" I asked him.
"Sorry about that."
I walked out of the room immediately and called the cab number that he had written down. I stormed out of the room making sure that Morocco wouldn't catch me to call me back in. Then as I looked at the very bottom of the paper that Idris had gave me I noticed he wrote down his number. Yeath there was nothing loyal about this fucking guy. He was shady and sneaky as fuck.
I had made it back to the senator's home. Truth was after all the stress from the night I just wanted to go into the guest house to rest. That wasn't going to be possible though. I had several texts and voicemails from Mrs. Patton wondering where the hell I was at. She kept blowing me up telling me to meet her in the back porch. I wanted to avoid her like the plague.
"Where have you been all night?" she asked me as soon as she saw me.
I didn't like her tone but I had to keep this professional. She was the one paying me this money. Instead of cursing her out like I wanted to do I just shook my head.
"Morocco wanted me to see his place."
"Morocco? Morocco!" Mrs. Patton said with strong eyes, "You should be seducing my husband and you are out here with my son."
"It takes time."
"I don't have time. Jose Santiago has his claws in my husband."
She still hadn't told me the senator was running for president. She was keeping things from me. The more I talked to Mrs. Patton the more I didn't trust her. I didn't trust anything about her. Why was she keeping this VITAL information away from me?
"I am trying my best."
"You don't have time. The senator's daughter Khloe doesn't trust you. She is convincing her father to let you go as we speak. He does EVERYTHING "
"You are letting them..."
"Go in there and do what you have to do. Beg him to let you stay here. If you fail, I'll be calling Mama Tea and telling her all about your crap."
"Are you threatening me?" I asked her.
"Yes," she said bluntly, "You fuck with me...I'll RUIN you. Let's get that clear. Now go in there and do your job."
"Fine..." I said faking a smile.
"Oh and Corbin?"
"Stay away from Morocco," Mrs. Patton stated.
I knocked on the senator's door. It was opened by none other then the little devil Khloe herself. She had this look on her eyes. Maybe it was because she was so fond of the Santiagos or maybe it was the fact that she really did see through me but there was malice here. She didn't seem to like me at all. The look on her face when she opened the door said it all.
"We were just talking about you," she stated.
"Khloe...why don't you give me and Corbin some time to discuss what we were talking about alone?" The senator asked.
Khloe nodded, "Of course Daddy."
She smiled at him with this sweet little smile but when she turned back to me I could almost see the devil in her eyes. She was teasing me almost making fun of me. She wanted me out of this house and it was so clear. I walked into the room when Khloe left not exactly sure how to talk about this. Mr. Patton had on his glasses and was looking up at the book at me. He seemed like he wasn't all too interested. I hated when men looked at me like that. I had Morocco falling all over me and Mr. Patton just seemed indifferent.
"Corbin, listen...we have to let you go," the senator stated.
I wasn't hearing this. It was almost like I was in a twilight zone. It was almost like the world was spinning. The most money I could ever make was being flushed down the toilet right in front of me and I couldn't do anything but watch it go. Mrs. Patton had no pull over this. It was clear she didn't. If she had pull over this decision she wouldn't have sent ME in here to beg. She had lost complete influence over her husband.
"Did I---do something wrong?"
My voice was breaking. I didn't know what to do. Everything was done.
"It's just that my daughter doesn't really trust you. She says that she sees you whispering around the house. She sees you sneaking around. Khloe doesn't trust you and to be honest...neither do I..."
"I have so much to offer, please sir...I can show you...I can show you what I can offer...if you give me the chance."
I was begging. This was so below me. Truth was he had no idea how much I wanted this. He had no idea how much I was willing to give up. I was trying to hold back the tears that were almost trying to get out of my eyes. I couldn't go back home. I couldn't go back to not knowing what I would eat that day. I couldn't go back to struggling on these streets. That wasn't the life that I needed. I had just got out of prison. No one hired a convicted felon.
"I'm sorry. I've made my choice. Please pack your things and leave by the night. I'll have a driver take you where you need to go.
One more job. One more job was all I needed. This job was all I needed.
"I have no where to go," I said crying all of a sudden, "This is it...this is ALL I have to look forward to."
Tears didn't effect him at all. The senator looked at me. The senator looked at me begging at that moment and he could care less. That was when I felt my first ounce of malice towards him. When he saw me sitting here basically begging and he had nothing to give me. He couldn't even give me kindness. He pulled out paperwork. PAPERWORK! He pulled out out right in front of me.
"See yourself out..." he stated.
He had started writing. My tears made no use to him. They were real tears too. I wasn't pretending. I wasn't faking. I was being real. This job meant the world to me. I couldn't let it go so easily. I had to pull out everything that I could.
"I work for your wife..."
I didn't know what I was doing. It just came out of no where.
"No you aren't understanding," I told the senator, "I work for your wife but not as her assistant. She hired me to seduce you."
He dropped his glasses on the table and his eyes turned back to me. He was clearly interested again. His eyes were piercing me.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"You said you don't trust me. I've given you the truth now."
I walked over to him. I was vulnerable at this moment but still so strong. I wouldn't take no for an answer. I started to undress at that moment. My shirt came off first. He seemed confused as he watched me but he didn't stop me. My pants came off next. I kicked my shoes across his office door. Before long I was naked in front of him and I laid on his desk.
He examined my body. His eyes looked over at me at my body but settled on my eyes.
"What do you want?"
If I lied at this moment he would be able to tell. I wouldn't lie.
"Is that so?"
He believed me. He had every right to. I wasn't lying. I wanted him...I wanted him to make me famous. This would be my greatest moment. I could tell by the way the senator smiled. I could tell by how his lips never met at that point on. His mouth was wet. There was a sparkle in the corner it. Could he smell my cologne? Yes...he was taking in slow...deep breaths. I was irresistible.
"She's offering you a lot of money. I'm sure of it."
"I don't want money. It was just a way for me to get close to you. I saw you on tv...I was obsessed with you. You are going to be the most powerful man in the world. I want to be your secret. I want to be your Marilyn Monroe. Right now I am proving where my loyalties lie."
He was a politician.
"How do I know you're telling the truth?"
He was strong. He wanted me so badly. I knew he did but he wouldn't allow himself to just be weak like this. I immediately jumped off his desk and started getting dressed. I saw him watching me, his eyes desperately trying to understand what I was doing.
"Where are you going?"
"I can go to her. I can quit tonight. Tell her I'm not interested in any money she has to give me. None of this was about her."
"Don't quit," he said, "Don't let her know you had this discussion with me. Next time you talk to her tell her I had a change of mind myself. Keep her in the dark..."
"You're letting me stay."
"Yes..." he stated, "Now come over here and show me what you have to offer..."
He unbelted his pants and let his dick out at that moment. I walked over my mouth wet. I made my way to the bottom and got on my knees before him. He was a man of power. He loved the idea of having another man on his knees begging and pleading to please him. He had no idea what he was in for.
I was about to take him on the ride of a lifetime and I wasn't talking about sexually.
I knew I had him by the time I was done. By the time I showed him what I was good at he was left his chair squirming. He was mine. I left him without saying a word. I knew he was looking at me the whole time wondering how it was I made him nut like that. He had never experienced it before. I could tell by how his hands kept gripping onto the seat when I sucked his dick. I had learned to deepthroat when I was twelve and I learned to vibrate my esophagus when I was 13. By the time I made his dick disappear he couldn't get his eyes off me.
As I left the room I took out my cellphone. There was one thing. There was one thread that had to be cut by the end of the night. It was something that if I didn't take care of now it would haunt me for the rest of my life.
It pained me to have to do this to Morocco but it was my job. It was what I had to do.
"Idris..." I said picking up the phone.
"I didn't expect you to call."
"I've been thinking about you all night, since I saw you," I told him, "I can't get you off my mind. I wish I could be with you."
"You do! Seriously? God I was thinking the same way. I can't stop thinking about you."
I wasn't surprised. I saw how he kept looking at me. Everything I was telling him was a fucking lie though. Some men were clueless and thankfully Idris just so happened to be one of them. "Why can't you?"
"I may be leaving."
"No please don't leave."
"I don't want to. I want to stay here and you know...get to know you more. It's just I have a little bit of an issue. I have a little bit of a problem..."
"Is there anything I can possibly do...to help?"
I had him right where I wanted him.
"Matter of fact...if you are asking..."
The senator actually invited me over to have dinner with the family the next day. I would like to have said I was surprised by it but I wasn't. I fully expected him to want to see me. Morocco wasn't at the table but Mrs. Patton and Khloe were. Khloe's face when she saw I was still around was more then priceless. She remained silent steaming at the table. Mrs. Patton tried to talk a little bit. They had an awkward conversation but sooner or later the senator completely turned all his attention to me. Mrs. Patton didn't seem bothered by it. She knew just as much as I did that the senator had no interest in her sexually, emotionally or in any other type of way.
"You know what moves me the most about you is your religion," he explained to me.
"Maybe we can pray together sometime," I told him.
"Absolutely. Why don't you come into my office a little later today and we can have a little prayer session. Just the two of us. I think that kind of thing is healthy."
"When I'm on my knees I usually find the most enlightening moments," I told him.
He had no idea how true that was.
Just at that moment Morocco came storming into the room. The look on his face said it all. He had his laptop in his hand. He looked super desperate. He threw the laptop on the table.
"What's the matter with you young man?" Mrs. Patton asked.
"I just got an email from Idris...we just got a lead from an anonymous source on a hot story. I thought it was kind of weird because Idris NEVER hesitates about publishing a story. When he said he didn't want to publish this I knew something weird was happening."
"What's your point?"
"I'm bringing this to you because I'm not spiteful and I want you to deal with this before someone else has the chance to."
Mr. Patton shook his head, "Morocco we could care less about your gossip blog. How many times do we have to tell you---"
"You'll care about this one. If we got this story others might as well. It's Khloe...she's...well...look for yourself."
Khloe looked at the pictures with her father. I could see both of their eyes getting weird. Mrs. Patton let out a scream when she saw what they were looking at. Morocco even looked horrified.
I didn't look. I just sat there acting like I was minding my business.
"Dad...I...those pictures were private!" she explained, "I have no idea how they got out."
"You're taking pictures of sexual acts?" her father asked, "You're sexually active! What if this wasn't sent to Morocco's blog. What if this was sent to another blog? Are you trying to RUIN my run for the white house? You are a minor!"
"Dad...I can deal with this."
"Mr. Patton don't be angryThe same thing happened to a reverend friend of mine back home," I butt into the conversation, "His daughter almost got caught with a bunch of horrible pictures. These kind of things...they happen."
They all turned to me. Khloe was crying. Mr. Patton was emotional. He looked like he was ready to snap at her.
"What did they do?" Mrs. Patton asked my opinion.
"They sent her away to this boarding school...in Seattle. I have the number. I think its this awesome boarding school."
"Boarding school!" Khloe asked.
Tears were running down out of her eyes. That's what she gets for playing a big folks game. I had found the pictures myself from what Morocco had told me. I had made sure that I sent them over to Idris. Idris was dumb enough to do anything I told him. What hurt the most about it was getting Morocco involved even in the slightest. Idris really walked him into coming to the house and revealing this though. Of course Morocco had no idea I had anything to do with it. He hadn't even known about the fact that Idris had given me his contact information.
"John I think you may want to consider that," Mrs. Patton explain, "I know you thought Khloe was your little angel but I don't know. We can't have any controversies during your campaign."
Mr. Patton wasn't listening to her though. Later that day as I sucked her father's dick dry he asked me what the name of the school was. Within the week Khloe was gone.
To read that chapter and join the discussion on the book please go to crushedcrown.com