GARETH 13 -- STARTING OVER
John Courtney
After breakfast we went into the city on the bus. I was highly conscious of wearing his boxers. It was like being branded as his or something. In my twenty-six years I think I have changed my underwear everyday until then. But somehow I felt that this was erotic, not a degradation, it marked me as his! But I decided that I would ask him why he made me wear them. He smiled and looked me in the eye.
"Did you notice what I was wearing?"
I had to be honest I was so stunned at what he had expected me to do that I hadn't bothered to look at what he was wearing. He looked around coyly. The bus stop was almost deserted so he took the chance to expose the waistband of the boxers he was wearing. They were mine!
"So what are we getting in town?" I asked.
"Stuff!" he replied.
"Yeah but what stuff?"
"Stuff for us!"
Obviously he wasn't going to be drawn on this so I changed subject and asked him about whether spanking and soccer kit was to be a part of our life. He blushed a deep crimson.
"Would you like it to be like that?" he asked quietly.
"As long as you don't use the belt or the paddle and the spanking is only for fun I would love it!" I declared boldly.
"Do you think the hidings were a mistake?" he asked clumsily.
The weeks apart had given both of us a chance to think about the relationship. Whilst I had clearly spent the time looking for the stability he provided he was also asking questions. But the questions were different! Our relationship had started calmly but had wandered off the rails as soon as the belt came into it. I had accepted the belt as the price I had to pay to have sex with this man.
"I think the way we did it was a mistake!" I said softly.
I had deliberately said 'we' because I wanted him to know that I was as much at fault as he was. Before Gareth nobody had ever struck me, whipped me or slapped me as foreplay. Sure there were chaps that had gleaned all their ideas of sex from Western movies and they would slap your hip when riding you and shout nonsense like you were a horse. Sometimes I found that quite hot but I honestly cannot say that I found a burning arse to be hot in a positive sense.
"And when did you start thinking like that?" he asked.
"The day I was stupid enough to hand you an instrument that could wound me!"
"Do you mean the paddle you made?"
I nodded.
"Why did you let me do this to you?" he asked with some pain written across his face.
I wasn't too sure if we should talk like this in a public place but I decided I would answer him anyway.
"I did it because I thought it was what you expected in a relationship and I didn't want to lose you!"
"You mean you're saying that you let me flay you simply because you thought I would go if I couldn't?"
I nodded.
"Shit!" Gareth sighed, "Look man I'm sorry!"
"I told you it was us!" I replied flatly.
"No Mark! It was me!"
"But I enjoyed the OTK stuff with your hand!"
"So you want us to continue?" Gareth was quite surprised.
"No!" I said definitely, "I do not have any desire to return to getting ALPs from you!"
"Ever?"
"NEVER!" I don't think I had ever been assertive with him before this but I was glad to be doing it now. I had developed a lot as a person since I met Gareth. I thought it was because of the way he directed me in fear and punishment but now I knew what was really driving me. I was in love! Yes! I was in love with Gareth Smith and I would do anything for him. I smiled at him, "but I would enjoy the occasional slap on the bum during sex!"
He laughed quietly, "So you would like a bit of kink in our relationship still?"
I nodded enthusiastically.
"And the soccer kit?"
"Love the stuff!"
Gareth beamed a huge smile at me. "You're not just saying that to keep me happy are you?"
"Listen mate, I would rather three stripes on me shorts than across me fucking arse!"
The bus appeared and we got on laughing. The driver must have thought we were both mad.
"So that's the stuff then is it?" I laughed as we sat at the back of the bus.
He looked at me as if I had ten heads.
"We're getting stuff for soccer sex and spanking aren't we?"
He shook his head. "It wasn't what I had planned but we could get some stuff if you like!"
"What had you planned?"
"A surprise!" he replied and closed his lips tightly to indicate that he would say no more.
Our first stop was and unscheduled one to a sport shop where we spent a fortune on replica kits. Newcastle United has its kits made by Adidas and their away strips are particularly sexy. I chose the silvery blue away strip over the black and white stripes of home. Gareth chose the white Spurs home colours.
"Blue for a little boy!" he said as I made my choice.
"Shouldn't you be buying a Leeds kit?" I asked.
"This one's almost the same colour!"
That was true; Leeds' home strip was white as well.
We bought a few pairs of shiny Adidas, Umbro and Nike workout shorts as well. My credit card almost melted when it came to paying for the stuff. But it was Gareth who paid dearly for the surprise that he wanted to get for us.
When we left the sports shop we walked along together. I wanted to hold his hand as we walked but that would be too risqué in Newcastle-upon-Tyne! We arrived at a jeweller's and he stopped.
"I have to collect something in here first!" he said.
I was going to wait for him outside but he asked me to come in so I followed him into the shop.
"Hello Mister Smith!" the tall young man in the shop sang his greeting, "have you come to..." and he stopped mid sentence.
By now Gareth was standing before him at the counter with me just behind his left shoulder.
"Sorry about that Mister Smith!" the tall jeweller muttered, "I thought that you were arriving today with your fiancée for a fitting!"
"I am!" Gareth proclaimed loudly, "this is him!" and he pointed at me with his thumb over his shoulder.
The jeweller was stunned, shocked, sickened and stared at us in horror. I think I might have been making the same expression into the back of his neck. There was something different about Gareth this time. Hitherto he had always been discreet and cautious and suddenly he was proclaiming our relationship to a total stranger who would know our names and get our address for the receipt! But at the same time I was proud of what he said. He had acknowledged me as something more than a sexual partner. I was his fiancé (note only one e!) and we were buying rings together.
"Can we use one of the fitting rooms?" Gareth asked the embarrassed jeweller.
"Well, eh! Well you know, I eh..." The young man could hardly answer. He stood there, a comical studious looking type with heavy glasses, a neck marked by bad shaving practices and a complexion that any pineapple would have been proud of.
"Is there a problem?" Gareth asked.
"Eh! No sir! It's just that well; we normally sort of use the fitting rooms for engagements and weddings only!" the lad stuttered nervously.
"But we are an engaged couple!" he protested.
"But you see sir the selection of engagement and wedding rings is different from the signet rings ..."
The jeweller's voice trailed off as Gareth leaned forward and whispered something in his ear. I don't know what he said but the lad's eyes popped wide open and he nodded nervously. I was taken aback hoping that Gareth hadn't threatened him. But the lad opened the counter and beckoned me inside through the flap door.
"Could you come this way please sir?" he asked as he directed me through a small door into a comfortable room with a green baize covered table and a set of three comfortable chairs. There were catalogues, mirrors and flowers on the table. I took a seat and the jeweller excused himself.
"Mr Smith and I will be with you in a minute sir!" he said as he backed out of the room, "we simply must select the rings he was interested in you choosing from and we will b back again immediately!"
As I sat there on my own I thought it a bit strange that the rings were being selected without my being present. I wondered was Gareth up to something but as they were less than a minute I dropped my growing reservation as I admired the rings that Gareth had chosen.
Gareth kept directing me towards an awful looking onyx stone ring. I didn't like it as I think that the black stone rings look naff. I wanted a simple gold signet with no stone. It was strange as both of us politely insisted on what we wanted with veiled language that expressed our preference but didn't offend the other. The presence of the jeweller made it easier for me. The independent witness is such a help!
"What one would you recommend?" Gareth asked Simon (the jeweller's name)
Simon was young enough and innocent enough not to realise that Gareth expected him to choose the onyx crap. He looked at me and smiled.
"Well sirs! I suppose the ordinary gold is more popular than the onyx and I would personally regard them as a nicer ring!"
Gareth glared at him.
"I could go plain gold and you could have onyx!" I suggested.
"I want us to have the same!" he muttered churlishly.
"It's too hard to engrave initials on the onyx ring," I said.
Gareth stopped and the row ended there. He liked the black but hadn't considered the engraving possibility.
"Let's get the plain ones!" he suggested as Simon showed us tray after tray of gold signets.
We settled for two very simple gold bands with square facades. We agreed that we wouldn't get them engraved just yet and Simon put them together in a heart shaped ring box. I laughed at this. It was a bit tacky but Gareth just smiled and handed me the box. He went outside the room with his wallet to pay Simon. They were gone for a few minutes and I sat there admiring the rings. This was something that I had never seen myself doing as a gay man. I know that my lover had a heterosexual (sort of) past but I was amazed at how nice I found it to be treated like this! I was lost in my thoughts when he poked his head round the door and called me out. Simon stood there looking flushed by his experience with us and he politely shook hands with both of us as we left the shop.
"He was one uptight kid!" I remarked as we walked towards the High Street.
Gareth made no reply. This confused me. Then I suspected that something might have happened when I was waiting in the fitting room.
"What did you say to him that time?" I asked.
"What time?"
"The time you whispered to him!"
"Oh!" Gareth laughed, "I told him I'd let him grope me if he let us use the fitting room!"
"YOU SLUT!" I roared even though I was clearly not annoyed, "I am so insulted! How could you do something like that?"
"I had a good teacher!" he said and he patted my arse.
"How did you know he was bent?"
"I didn't know but I saw the way he was staring at me balls so I guessed!"
"You think he fancied you?"
"Of course he fucking fancied me!"
"You're so fucking vain mate!"
"I've plenty to be vain about!"
"Really?"
We were outside the newsagent where we had met first and Gareth stopped and pulled me back.
"You fancy me to don't you?"
"Uhm!" I grunted affirmatively.
"Go on Mark say it! Please!!"
I looked at him with his crooked smile, sparkling eyes, dark looks, decent body -- he was beautiful and he knew it but he was mine.
"Gareth! I fancy the fucking arse of you and have done so since the first day we met here!"
"Well!" Gareth replied fumbling in his pocket, "I didn't love you when I first spoke with you and didn't even love you when we were together but here..." he reached into his pocket and took out the rings; he took my hand in his and put it on my engagement finger. I was aghast! We were in the middle of the main street and although there weren't throngs of people there this was a bit public. He then placed the other one on his finger and looked at me, I was choking back tears! I couldn't believe it; underneath it all over all the years of bed hopping I was a sentimental cock-hound!
"... but what I see now is what I know I love and only learnt that when we split last month!"
I almost cried as we sat for coffee a few minutes later. I admired my ring and was choking with emotion as I realised that it was a potent symbol of us starting out together. He had been cruel in the past but he was a romantic at heart and the rings made us like any normal couple. The day was the fifteenth of October and the year was 1996. That was the day that we exchanged rings and would be forever our anniversary!
When we got home Gareth led me to straight the bedroom. He smiled as he lowered his trousers and my boxers (which he was wearing) and drew his shirt and jersey off over his head in a single stroke. Next he lay face down on the bed with his arse in the air. I looked at him in total confusion.
"Come on then!" he goaded me, "why not seize the opportunity when it arises?"
It wasn't only an opportunity that was arising! I quickly shucked my trousers and crawled between his legs with a major horn pointing at my lover's arse. This would be my first time on top and his first time to be on the receiving end of what was no longer sex but making love!
It was great!
There are many things that one can imagine to be beautiful in life. But the feel of your lover's arse wrapped around your dick as you gently slide in and out of his warm moist hole cannot be surpassed. The sexual act between two men can be such a powerful sense of acceptance and togetherness. We were both performing outside what would be our usual roles but there was a togetherness and understanding beginning to evolve between us, a togetherness that would see us through hard times ahead -- our roles matured and settled but never became boring. It's amazing what a small amount of fetish and kink can do to spice up a sex-life!