GARETH 09 -- FAR AWAY FIELDS ARE GREENER.
As James walked towards me I realised that I had been set-up by him. It had never crossed my mind for one small moment that James and Jimmy just happened to be the same name. The fact that nobody had ever called James anything other than James helped to disguise his identity. I was not at all impressed and my scowl made that obvious to both of them.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I screamed.
That took both of them by surprise. Their faces dropped.
"YOU HEARD ME -- NOW FUCK OFF! I NEVER WANT TO SEE EITHER OF YOU AGAIN!"
I ran up the stairs in floods of tears. Neither of them had a chance to speak. I threw myself on the bed and began to cry. For years I had always trusted James. He was my best mate. I didn't expect him to set me up for an event like what had happened. I felt like a real fool!
I spent the rest of the evening there on the bed. When night came I was too angry to sleep. I practiced conversations I wanted to have with James and Gareth if I ever saw either of them again. I hoped I wouldn't, and they I hoped I would - but only to give them a piece of my mind! They had deliberately tricked me into thinking that I had found Mr. Right and then set me up for the two of them to flog me. As far as I was concerned they were a pair of sick sadistic bastards and I never wanted a part of them again.
Everything I had learned from Gareth went out the window at that point. Commentators often remark on how fickle and shy of commitment homosexual men are. From that point I began to believe those awful writers who had made me angry in the past. I had trusted and confided in James that I was looking for something more than a one-night-stand with him and he had told me that he wasn't ready for that yet. Then the fucking little bastard had got some mate of his to lead me up the garden path, trick me into falling in love with him, allow him to degrade me and then set me up for this evening's debacle. James, or Jimmy as he is to his real friends, was a liar and a cheat -- he was certainly no friend of mine. I had no problem admitting that it was wrong for me to have been unfaithful to Gareth. After all my history was littered with stories of one-night-stands and it was only Gareth that had ever made me really want to commit to a monogamous relationship but what Gareth and James had done to me was sick!
At the same time part of me was angrier with James than I was with Gareth. James had clearly planned the whole episode by putting Gareth with me; it wasn't Gareth's fault at all! Gareth had allowed James to whip me but he didn't initiate a three-way. I was sure that James would have asked for one and Gareth didn't concede to his wishes. I knew James of old; there was no way that he would have played matchmaker for the two of us without getting something in return!
I stopped myself at that very moment. What a fool you are Mark! Gareth had willingly got involved with the whole game, he was no fool and he had taken advantage of my devotion to him in a worse why than my infidelity had been an affront to him! My world was falling apart. All those awful stories about betrayal among gay men were true and there was no way that I would ever find somebody special to share my life with. I had thought that Gareth would be it. I had felt guilty about my session with James but I didn't feel guilty now.
When I first met Gareth I thought I had met the man of my dreams. That day in the newsagent when I was drooling over him I thought about being with him much as I had always admired a handsome man in the past. When I discovered he was both gay and interested in having a pint with me I thought things would be good. When he refused to have sex with me before we moved in together I thought I had found perfection. I was so willing to make a go of this relationship that I had surrendered my dignity. I had even allowed the man to control my life, whack my arse and be in charge of me. I didn't really do it for the sex. I did it because I thought I loved him!
My mind howled at me as I thought about it, 'Fuck you Mark! You're a total fucking idiot and I hate you!'
The alarm woke me at half past seven. My eyes stung from all the crying, I didn't remember falling asleep but I knew I hadn't been asleep for very long. The room was cold and my feet were freezing. I sat on the edge of my bed shaking. I don't know if it was the cold or my anger. I didn't want to go to work; maybe I could call in sick! 'No!' I thought to myself, 'don't let these bastards ruin your life, get up and go to work!'
Work was a nightmare! I couldn't really concentrate on what I was doing and wanted to go home. But I stuck at it. The phone rang just after eleven. It was Jimmy or James or whatever his name is. As soon as I heard his voice I hung up.
When I got home there was another message from James on the answering machine. I deleted it without listening to it. My mind was made up there would be no further contact between us. I stayed in and drank a bottle of wine, the phone rang twice but I didn't bother to answer it. I had turned the answering machine off (something I never did before) and let the calls die out. At ten there was a knock on the door. I ignored it! Ignoring James made me feel good. He was a prick and I didn't want to have anything more to do with him, ever!
I felt a bit smug as I prepared for bed. My shaved body was already showing emerging signs of hairy growth. In a week or two my body hair should be back and there would be no physical reminder of my awful degradation at Gareth's hands. I picked up the lemon pyjamas and chucked them in the wastebasket. I pulled on a pair of navy silk boxers and pulled back the duvet to get into the bed. I stopped!
"Fuck it!" I said, "If I'm going to get rid of this stuff I'll get rid of it properly!"
I gathered the pyjamas and taking a scissors from my bedside drawer I cut them into shreds. I gathered them up and stuffed them into a plastic bag. I went into the bathroom and picked up the can of Lynx. I stuck the sharp end of the scissors into the metal. That was silly! The smell of the contents filed the room. I opened the window to clear the room. The cold North Sea air blew through the room and made it like a fridge.
I stuck the messy can in the bag with the shreds and marched towards the front door. My bin was outside. I opened the door and there was a bouquet of flowers and a letter on the porch. I laughed a caustic laugh, picked up the two items, tore the letter in four and stuck it in the bag. Then I placed the bag and the flowers in the bin. If James came by tomorrow the message would be clear.
When I got back to my room I stripped the bed and bundled the sheets into the washing machine. The smell of Gareth's Paco Rabanne was still on them! YEUCH!
I got clean sheets and made up a fresh bed for myself. Then I crawled in and smugly cuddled up to get some sleep. Gareth's book was on his bedside locker so I took it and read a bit more. It was incredibly erotic. It made me forget my anger and I had a good wank before I fell asleep.
The next day at work was far better than the previous one. I had often heard that people in love take years to get over it; even still, I suppose they don't get over it they just learn to keep going. I felt that I was over Gareth so I mustn't have been in love. But when I got home he was standing waiting at my door still dressed in his work clothes. I didn't see him until I reached the gate because the privet covers the view of the house from the road. He was holding the broken flowers in his hand. I couldn't just walk away and pretend I didn't see him. I had to speak to him. That wasn't really a problem though; I could simply ask him to go away.
"Hi Mark!" he said sheepishly.
"Why are you here?" I snapped, "I told you to leave me alone and I meant it!"
"I called you twice last night to apologise but you didn't answer," he said, "then I came by to drop you a card and a gift to let you know that I felt awful about what I did to you!"
"Did you now? Well did it ever occur to you Mr. High-and-Mighty that I have feelings as well?"
"May I come in and we could talk?" he suggested.
"I'd rather not! Now please leave!"
"Will you at least take the flowers?" he asked softly.
I was angry but I'm not a monster. It's wrong to exploit the upper hand so I accepted the flowers and thanked him for them.
"See you around!" he aid as he walked down the path toward the road.
"Yeah!" I replied. (But not if I see you first!")
I closed the door behind me and leaned back against it. My heart was beating but I congratulated myself on how well I had handled the situation. I breathed out and walked to the kitchen where I dumped his flowers back into the bin.
"Not a fairy?" I laughed, "Only fairies would give each other flowers!"
The rest of the week went quite well. I decided that my failure in relationship was because I had chosen the wrong role. Maybe I should be on top? I decided that it was time for a change of direction. I would go to the clubs and learn to be a top and then find a bloke, make love to him, build a relationship and care for him the way that I wanted Gareth to care for me. Yes! From now on I would take the lead role! I have a lot to offer and some lucky bloke was going to get it.
When Friday night came I dressed to go clubbing. I didn't care if James was there and I knew I wouldn't bump into Gareth either. I wasn't going to become a hermit. I picked up a cute nineteen-year-old closet case that was visiting from Leeds. I brought him home thinking to myself that this was the man I was going to top. If it worked we might even have a future together!
Anthony (his name) was a cute blonde with a 28-inch waist and an innocent little face. He assured me on the way home that he was experienced. I didn't believe him but didn't say that to him.
Once we were inside the door he grabbed me and kissed me forcibly. He was a strong little blighter! He grabbed my balls and gave them a playful squeeze.
"Eager little chap aren't you?" I said amused by his forceful kissing.
I pushed him away a bit and moved towards the sofa. He grabbed my arse and said; "eager to get into this I am!"
Maybe bringing Anthony home was a mistake! Of the hundred or so young men that were in the club I would pick the one that was a top!
"I had intended to be the one that gave you a load up the back door!" I said.
"Fuck off mate!" he sneered, "I can see you're the type of bloke that likes to take it up the arse!"
"Sorry Anthony! But this boy prefers to be the giver!" I replied
"We'll see!" he said, "come on mate, let's get our kit off!"
He lunged at me and began to remove my clothes. "Hey mate!" he laughed as he pulled my sweatshirt over my head, "you shave your pits you kinky bastard!"
As he removed his own I noticed the light dusting of fair hair in his own pits. "it doesn't look like you need to!" I said.
He reached over and opened my jeans. Once he had them loosened he slid them down over my hips in a single tug bringing my boxers with them as they dropped. He gasped when he saw my shaved crotch.
"What the fuck... did you do this or did your last boyfriend do it to you?"
I blushed! The kid had blown my cover. He walked behind me and looked at my arse. I knew there would still be marks there and hoped he wouldn't guess what had caused them.
He landed a hard slap on my quivering arse.
"Are you into kinky stuff then mate?" he asked.
I could feel his grin burning through me. I nodded in reply. Anthony placed his chin on my right shoulder and started to knead my left buttock with his hand.
"I've never spanked anybody before!" he whispered, "but I'd like to! Would you like me to spank you Mark?"
Needles to say I consented and was soon up in my bedroom with this nineteen-year-old about to face my first spanking in five days. Anthony sat on the bed and ordered me to get a belt for him
I took a belt from my wardrobe and laid it beside him on the bed.
"Okay, get over my knees."
I lay over his lap and he adjusted me so my butt was just over his slender right thigh. He was only wearing boxer shorts so I was actually lying across his bare skin.
"I'm really sorry I have to do this," he said and then he picked up the belt and started spanking me really hard with it.
WHACK! Ooh! WHACK! Ooh! WHACK! Ow! WHACK! Ow! Ow! WHACK! WHACK! IT hurts! WHACK! Oh WHACK! Oh WHACK! Please WHACK! Please WHACK!
At this point, I was starting to move around on his lap a bit so he told me to hold still and take my medicine I had coming. I gritted my teeth and tried to take it better.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
But it was too hard so I started begging him to let up. Of course, it didn't seem to do any good; he just kept spanking away with that belt. After twenty-five swats, I was promising all kinds of things, kicking my legs around, but Anthony had me in a firm grip and kept whaling away.
"Okay, get up!"
I was really happy to get up. I started to go back to bed, but he stopped me, "Go stand in the corner, face to the wall and wait a few minutes until I decide if you have had enough."
I did what he said; standing in the corner, butt really aching. I rubbed it and he didn't say anything.
Looking into his eyes I saw him measuring me, taking an inventory of his new toy. He smiled and beckoned me to come over and lie of the bed. I did so and he sat beside me. His hands travelled down my body to my crotch. I looked at his face again and saw how much he was enjoying himself. My dick remained hard. I couldn't very well tell him that I wasn't enjoying what he was doing, but decided I had nothing to lose.
"Hey Anthony. Enough of that." I said, trying to add some authority to my voice.
He just laughed. I looked at him with resignation, admitting immediate defeat. Apparently, that was what he had been waiting to see. He grinned at me again.
"Now it's time for you to take it up the arse!"
He grabbed his dick and thrust his slim hips forward, milking some precum onto the head.
"Get ready boy!" he ordered.
Nervously I spread my legs on the bed and waited for him.
He lifted my legs from behind my knees and put them on his shoulders. This was a position with which I was familiar. I felt his knob poking at my arse. Now, Anthony wasn't the biggest man I've ever been with, not by a long shot. In fact his dick was quite slender! But, after several days of sexual inactivity his knob felt like an arm.
"Yeah you lowlife faggot take my fucking dick!" he hissed as he rammed his hips forward and made me squeak involuntarily. "You're a worthless piece of shit man!"
I could feel my erection subside. This chap wasn't doing anything for me at all. Sure he thought he was hung like an elephant but he was much the same as any other man in reality.
"Yeah man I'm going to ride your fat faggoty arse!" he howled as he began to jab in and out with rapid-fire strokes.
His fucking hurt like hell. Anthony did not have much concept of style and each time he pulled back he dragged my stinging sphincter with it. I decided it was best to play along and get rid of him the next day.
"Yeah big boy!" I groaned, "stick it to me baby!"
This was all the encouragement he needed to proceed with his rough fucking. He panted and laughed at me as he pounded my hole with wild abandon. I groaned in agony and some bliss but I wasn't happy in my mind even though I encouraged him with my grunts. It took ten awful minutes of wild sex and meaningless groaning before the fucker managed to come. I sighed in joyful bliss when I felt his speed up and empty his load in rapid thrusts into the condom. My bliss arose from the fact that the ordeal was over.
After a few minutes, he got off me, stood up and told me to turn around. He was standing by the bed and he told me to come over and climb back over his lap. I did it. Then he said he wasn't sure I'd learned my lesson. I lay there waiting for the first stroke of his belt. It didn't come.
"You know, I can't get much force into the swats when you're over my knee. What other positions could you spank a bloke in?"
I thought about saying I didn't know but decided against it.
"Well, if you need some force behind it maybe I should bend over with my hands on the bed and my bum raised. That was one of Gareth's ways of doing it."
He told me to get up. He pointed at the bed with the doubled up belt.
"Assume the position." He said with mock severity.
Since I was not over his knee and he was able to take full swings, it hurt a lot more than anything Gareth had ever done to me.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
Young Anthony was laying into my arse with such vigour that I was too shocked to even cry out.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
My arse was on fire!
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
What awful spirit had Gareth awakened within me?
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
Why did I enjoy what this young man was doing to me?
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
I knew why destiny had delivered me into this young dominator's hands.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
It was a punishment for being too stubborn! I should never have let Gareth go!
The last blow sent me sprawling and my head hit the headboard.
"Okay bottom-boy!" Anthony said, "Time to suck on your master's cock!"
Anthony had quite a cute cock. It was long and thin with a curve to the left. It wasn't as beautiful as Gareth's or even James' but I began to suck on it; maybe because I was a cock-hound, maybe because I was afraid of another belting? One thing was obvious to me then. I was a natural bottom and no resolve could change that!
"Oh yeah suck that meat!" he moaned as I sucked on his member.
I imagined it was Gareth's and found myself getting hard again. "Yes!" I thought to myself, "I'll imagine it's Gareth that is here with me; I think I'd prefer to be chewing on his cock than on the pompous little shit I'd picked up."
It took a long time to bring him to orgasm. I felt somewhat relieved when I felt his dick spurt, I would never take anybody home on the first night again. This was an awful experience and I was sorry I had ever met Anthony at all. After he had filled my mouth with his spunk he made me suck on his balls and lick his arse until he was hard again. After that he fucked me and then fell asleep.
As I lay beside him I made up my mind to find Gareth and apologise for my behaviour. I had really enjoyed the time I spent with him and now that I had somebody else with me I realised that I wanted him back. Sure he had done something nasty but then, we all make mistakes and even I couldn't absolve myself from all blame. After all it was me who cheated on him! I cuddled up beside the nasty young man I had picked up, he could stay the night, but tomorrow he could have to go and I would look for Gareth. But I couldn't sleep! My arse was in agony. It stung and pounded with feelings like a herd of giant hedgehogs rolling all over it. Gareth had only ever warmed my arse when he spanked me and the sting in his discipline was like heat. Anthony caused pain and I didn't like this at all!
I tried to sleep again but there was only one thought running through my head -- Gareth! I longed for his commanding but gentle presence in my life. I wanted him to be there to guide and direct me, to teach me how to be a better person, to mould me into a partner fit for him but most of all to be loved by me as much as I now knew that I loved him!