Indulgence ©

By Jack Llawayllynn


Chapter 15: Pushing it

Matt jerked awake from a nightmare that he could not recall. Sweat beaded and rolled down his forehead. He reached to wipe it away and nearly fell out of bed. He was laying on the very edge, on his side, facing the clock. The illuminated digital numbers read 4:26 a.m. Slowly he sat up and twisted around to make out Sin's dark form in the dim light cast through the window from the streetlights below. Neither of them had thought to draw the curtains closed and Matt suddenly worried that someone in an adjacent building could have seen them having sex earlier. Matt frowned and let his eyes travel over Sin's form. Sin lay sprawled out across the bed, snoring softly, one arm flung wide, the other laying limp across his chest. Matt frowned and turned away, leaving the bed quietly. He fumbled in the dark for clean clothes and carried them with him into the bathroom to take a shower to cool his heated and sweaty flesh. As he stood under the tepid spray his thoughts turned to Trish, to memories of her both sweet and sour. Matt braced a hand against the wall and sagged, the tears coming hard and fast. Guilt flooded him and he moaned aloud. He knew he had been the cause of her death. He knew that he should have come clean with her, told her that Sin was his lover. He never should have left her hurt and alone, unsure as to why he had so cruelly turned on her and walked away.

Matt balled up his fist and slammed it into the tiled wall. Sin was as much to blame as he was. It was Sin's vindictiveness that had opened the door to true danger for Trish. Sin and his never ending thirst for inflicting pain. Matt slammed his fist into the wall again, wishing it were Sin's face. He remembered how Sin had goaded him to say the words he swore to himself he would never say and than what had he done? He had laughed.Laughed! Matt took a deep steadying breath. It was his own fault. He had allowed himself to be entangled in the web. He would just have to cut himself free.

Matt finished showering and got dressed quietly. He was going to parent's house. There he could have the time he needed to grieve for Trish and to sort out his feelings for Sin without Sin right there to control him, influence him. Did he really love the man? No, of course not, Sin had just caught him in a moment of extreme weakness and had forced him to say such nonsense. The sex had been intense, an extreme release of physical and emotional need all at once, that was all there was to it. It was thrilling, new and intense. Nothing more. Now Matt just needed time to think, alone.

In the bedroom Sin was still peacefully snoring away, now sprawled over the entire bed. Very quietly Matt removed the money he kept hidden in the lockbox under the bed, found his shoes and carried them with him to the living room and sat down to put them on in the dark, not wanting to risk turning on a light that might wake Sin. He would walk down to the corner and call his father from there and ask him to pick him up at the all night diner a few blocks away. He wasn't even going to leave a note for Sin. Let the bastard wonder. Even as he thought about it though his heart started to pound, to race, and he started shaking.

Matt finished tying his shoes then rested his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He wasn't sure if he was just leaving for a few days or if he was running away forever. There were no possessions in the apartment that he couldn't replace or do without. There was nothing that was chaining him here. Sin could rot in hell.

With a shaky sigh Matt stood and turned toward the door. Sin was a solid wall right in front of him. Matt let out a startled yelp and fell back onto the sofa.

"Going somewhere Matt?" Sin asked dangerously in the darkness. "It's not even dawn yet."

"Yeah, uh, I know." Matt stuttered lamely. "I just thought I'd get some fresh air."

"Is that so? Well, you could open a window."

"No, I...I wanted to walk, and to think."

"It's dangerous out this time of night in the city. You could get mugged."

"I have gone out alone before Sin. Quite a few times actually. I don't need you to hold my hand."

" you normally go out walking with more than a thousand bucks in your pocket?"

"You weren't asleep, you bastard."

"Exactly where were you going Matt?"

"It's none of your damned business Sin! You don't own me!" Matt snarled.

Sin's fist shot out so fast that Matt never saw it coming. His head snapped back and pain exploded along the line of his jaw. He could taste the bitter tang of blood in his mouth where his teeth had cut the inside of his cheek. With a muttered curse Matt curled away from Sin, his hand cupping his throbbing jaw.

"Don't ever try to leave in the night again Matt. You want to leave you just fucking tell me so. Don't sneak off like some pussy ass cunt whore." Sin jerked Matt's head back by his hair and Matt glared up at him. "And by the way, I do own you. One day you'll get that fact into your thick skull. Now go back to bed."

"Fuck you!" Matt snarled and tried to wrench his hair free. Sin tightened his grip and slapped Matt with an open palm across his cheek.

"Fuck you!" Matt said again and swung at Sin but Sin deftly stepped away, releasing Matt's hair as he went.

Matt could see the pale flash of Sin's teeth in the darkness. Was he laughing, Matt wondered. He couldn't tell for sure. He sat for a long time staring at Sin but the man didn't move again, nor speak, just stood there, smiling in the darkness. No, Matt realized suddenly, he wasn't smiling, he was snarling, grimacing down at Matt like a maddened wolf.

"Why do you treat me like shit Sin? Do you hate me? Despise me? Think I'm just a pussy piece of shit?" Matt demanded, his fists clenched but he remained seated, head tilted up sharply.

Sin made an odd strangled sound and suddenly lunged forward and caught Matt's shirt, hauling him up and into an embrace that squeezed the breath from him in a startled whoosh.

"I don't hate you Matt, I need you. I'm terrified of you. I don't know how to respond to you. The more I have of you the more I want of you. I feel like I'll never get enough, like you'll drift away and I'll die of need. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing before. I don't know how to. I think that if I don't brand you to your soul as mine that you will just vanish into the night. That is what you were doing wasn't it Matt? Trying to vanish into the night?"

"No, I don't know, maybe," Matt wheezed out, trying to ease out of Sin's embrace enough to catch a full breath. Sin released him so quickly that Matt nearly stumbled.

"You're right to go of course. No, no that isn't right. This is your home, not mine. I'm the one who should be going. You don't have to run from me Matt. I'll go."

"No!" Matt reached for Sin and pulled him into the same sort of embrace that Sin had held him in. "I don't want you to go. I don't want to go either. I just...Sin you grind me to dust. You force me to do things, to say things I never dreamed I was capable of and then belittle me for it."

Sin twisted and brought his hands up to cup Matt's face. His lips brushed Matt's gently. "I shouldn't have belittled you Matt. I wanted you to say you loved me but when you did it scared the hell out of me. You did mean it, didn't you Matt?" Sin's lips still hovered over Matt's so that he felt the breath of each word on his lips. Matt felt a sudden roaring desire to slip his tongue between Sin's lips and taste the venom that was Sin.

"I...shit!" Matt tore away from Sin and strode back toward the bedroom, tearing his clothes off as he went and leaving a trail of them down the hall. Naked he climbed into bed and slammed his eyes shut. Sin followed and slid into the bed behind him, sliding his long lean body against Matt's, spooning Matt's body to his. They said nothing, only lay in the darkness and listened to other breath until they both fell back to sleep.

* * * *

The ringing of the telephone woke them only two hours later. Sin rolled over and hooked the phone carelessly, bringing it to his ear and muttering a sleepy "Who the fuck is this?" into the phone. Matt sat bolt upright with horror. What if the caller was one of his parents? He balled his hands into fists to keep himself from wresting the phone from Sin's grasp and beating him with it.

"What!" Sin yelled into the phone, sitting bolt upright himself. "When?" His face had taken on an awful fierceness that made Matt shutter in dread of more horrible news. "Yeah, yeah, we'll be there. Don't worry Esty, we'll get the bastard. Yeah, I'll tell Matt. We'll see you in a few hours."

Matt clenched his teeth as Sin slammed the phone back onto its hook and turned toward him. "Ruben went to feed Esty's cats right after he got off shift at Chico's. They were dead Matt. Chopped up in little pieces and scattered all over the apartment just like my cat was done three years ago. Esty is a wreck. Drift is trying to calm him down but Esty is ready to do murder. So am I. He loved those cats."

"I know. Miss Silvia gave them to him." Matt said, his heart pounding in his chest. "Esty and Drift are still at the cabin right? They haven't let anyone know where they are have they?"

"They're still there. Only Ruben has a contact number for them. That's three hits in two days. Trish, the photograph to tip off the cops about Drift and now Esty's cats. I guess it pissed them off when the photo didn't work."

"Jesus, Esty must be crushed by this."

"He sounded really bad on the phone Matt. He wants us to get out there so we can talk. I couldn't tell him no. This happened because of me."

"You think that's safe Sin? What if we are followed?"

"We won't be. Get up and dress warmly, leather if you have it, heavy denim if you don't."

"Where are we going?" Matt asked later as he stood with his hands in the pockets of his fleece lined denim jacket while Sin hailed a cab. "Surely we aren't taking a cab all the way out there."

"Hell no," Sin said as he opened the door to a cab that pulled to the curb. "Just wait and see." Sin leaned forward and gave the driver an address that Matt didn't recognize.

The cab pulled to a stop twenty minutes later in front of a motorcycle dealership. Sin paid the cabby and steered Matt into the shop. A large tattooed man behind the counter looked up and grinned evilly at the sight of Sin.

"Come to take your baby out early did you?" he asked in a booming bass voice.

"Yeap, gonna take my pet here out for ride. Set him up with a helmet Stan, full faced, sun shield."

"Yes sir," the man said with a mock salute and came around the counter to grab Matt's arm in an iron grip and steer him toward an assortment of helmets on display. Without asking Matt's opinion the man selected a black helmet, swung Matt around and squashed the helmet over his head. Matt muttered a little under his breath but kept his comments mostly to himself because despite the man's apparent carelessness in choosing a helmet the one he had placed on Matt's head not only fit Sin's request to a tee it also fit Matt's head perfectly.

"Feel right?" Stan asked, leaning down to flip the face shield up and peer into Matt's face.

Matt nodded and Stan snatched the helmet back off his head and strode away leaving Matt to try to smooth his ruffled hair down with his hands. Matt glanced around for Sin but he had disappeared into the back of the shop.

"That jacket is okay but it ain't gonna keep you all that warm in this cutting wind and will shred on the pavement if yall wreck. You need a real jacket." Stan advanced on Matt once more and spun him around to face a rack of leather jackets. Again without hardly glancing at them at all he pulled one off the rack and thrust it at Matt. "Try that baby on. You'll love it. You'll never wear denim again."

Matt suppressed a sigh and shrugged out of his denim, slipping his arms into the black leather jacket as Stan held it up for him. Again it was a perfect fit. Stan clapped Matt on the shoulder hard enough to nearly stagger him then spun him around to face a mirror on the wall.

"See man, that there is what you need! The liner is removable for warmer weather and it has been treated against rain damage. Here, try these with it." Stan shoved a pair of leather gloves into Matt's hands and this time Matt didn't feel the slightest surprise that Stan had sized him up and chosen the right size.

"I'll take all of it Stan. Put it on my bill will ya?" Sin said as he came striding back in from the back. "I got her out of the storage bay but where the hell are my keys?"

"You sure you want me to put all that stuff on your bill Sin? Hell man I just loaded that boy down in over a thousand dollars worth of gear."

Sin laughed, flashing his beautiful white teeth. "Come on Stan, are you worried you won't get the money out of me just because I'm buying for one of my pets?"

Stan chuckled deeply and Matt turned away with a flushed face. Sin had told him that he wasn't going to out him as gay to the world but so far Sin had told everyone they had come across exactly where he stood with Matt. Matt ground his teeth and tried to control the flush he felt rising in his face.

"Don't worry Matt, Stan here knows how things are with me. And yes Stan, I'm sure, put it all on my bill. Matt, grab your denim jacket, we'll stick in the saddle bags. Come on, I want to get on the road. We'll have to do some circle backs to make sure we aren't followed."

Sin reached over and snatched the price tag off of the jacket that Matt wore and shoved the new helmet into Matt's hand. Sin took him by the arm forcefully and steered him to the back of the shop where a long lines of motorcycles stood in rows. Sin stopped by an open bay along one wall where a large black Harley stood, gleaming under the fluorescent lights. "Stan! My keys!"

Sin turned in time to snatch the keys out of the air when Stan tossed them across through the doorway. Matt watched as Stan crossed to open an outside bay door then sighed and pulled the helmet on. When he reached up to cinch the helmet under his chin Sin brushed his hands away and did the straps himself then slapped the side of Matt's helmet affectionately before snagging his own helmet off the seat of the bike and shoving it down on his head. He carefully tucked his long braid down the back of his jacket before zipping it up and pulling on a pair of gloves much like Matt's new ones.

"Ready?" Sin asked, bouncing excitedly on his toes. Matt nodded doubtfully but obediently clambered onto the back of the bike after Sin fired it up. Sin revved it up a few times to deafening levels before steering it casually through the maze of other bikes and out onto the pavement. Matt tried to sit casually behind Sin, not to seem to be in need of clinging to him but once Sin got the big bike out onto the road Matt found he had no compunction against wrapping his arms around Sin's waist after all. He drove like a madman and besides, no one could see Matt's face behind the dark face shield. It didn't take him long to become extremely grateful for the leather gifts either. He had no doubt that without the gloves and in his old denim jacket he would have felt like an ice cube. Sin took his time to make sure they were not being followed. He circled blocks or would turn suddenly up narrow alleys then zip out into traffic and weave among the cars. Matt held on for dear life. Finally Sin was satisfied that no one could possibly be on their tail and took a ramp onto the expressway. Once on the open road he gunned the big Harley hard, ignoring both safety and speed laws. It wasn't long before Matt's level of terror lessened and finally seeped away enough for him to loosen his grip and begin to enjoy the ride. Not only was he beginning to enjoy the view around him as they left the city but he was beginning to develop a very strong appreciation of the feel of Sin sitting between his thighs while maneuvering the monster machine. Matt's dick began to stiffen against Sin's ass. Sin dropped a hand from the handlebars to Matt's knee and squeezed it firmly letting Matt know that Sin was quite aware of Matt's growing arousal.

They traveled steadily for nearly two hours before Sin swerved onto an off ramp and onto a smaller rural highway. Just off the exit he pulled into a gas station.

"I need a drink and a piss," he told Matt offhandedly as he dismounted the bike. Matt trailed him into the store with his helmet in his hand. Both bought a soda and took a turn in the pisser before heading back out to the bike.

"You seem to have been enjoying yourself back there," Sin said, standing beside the motorcycle and turning up his soda to kill half of it in one long swig.

"Yeah, it's growing on me. The bike suits you. How long have you had it?"

"Several years. I don't take it out much anymore. For a while I think McKenna was tracing me by the license tag but I haven't used the bike in the last three states that I lived in so I think by now he thinks its been sold or has figured out I am storing it and rarely using it."

"How much further do we have to go do you think?" Matt asked as he finished his own soda and tossed the bottle into a nearby wastebasket.

"According to the directions your Mr. Silverman gave me the other night we still have a good way to go." Sin killed his soda and tossed the bottle in the basket after Matt's. He moved in very close to Matt and his hand snaked out to tweak Matt's dick through his jeans. "Got happy in there didn't ya?" He asked laughing as Matt leapt away and cast around frantically to see if anyone had seen the gesture. Sin laughed again as Matt's face flushed red. "I didn't know you had been lusting after my ass Matt. You never said anything but your cock sure was doing a lot of whispering against the back of my jeans for the last few miles."

Matt's eyebrow rose in surprise. "Do I have any chance of getting a piece of your ass Sin?" He asked, his voice dropping an octave in hopeful question as he moved closer to Sin.

Sin slanted a truly wicked smile his way. "I'm sure you get plenty of it in your dreams pet but what good are dreams if you can't turn them into hope huh?" Sin winked at him before pulling the helmet over his head and turning to mount the motorcycle. Matt pulled his own helmet on more slowly trying to figure out if there had been some kind of tangible answer in Sin's response. As soon as he mounted behind Sin and his thighs clamped around Sin's ass Matt's dick sprang up again. Sin slid back hard as he kicked the kickstand back and Matt knew that he had done it with more than necessary force. Sin's laughter floating back confirmed it beyond a doubt before the bike roared to life and drowned out all other sounds. Matt braced his feet on the pegs, pushed his hips forward against Sin's ass and leaned back, enjoying the warmth of Sin sitting ahead of him between his legs. He doubted that Sin would ever let him get any closer to his ass than this.

They reached the cabin around noon and both Sin and Matt sat on the bike and gawked at it a moment before shaking their heads and dismounting the bike. What Mr. Silverman referred to as his hunting cabin was a two story log cabin snuggled into foothills that were heavily wooded and alive with wildlife. Drift met them at the door and led them into a masculine interior complete with deer head over an oak mantel and pictures of English pointers flushing birds decorating the walls.

"Esty is in the bed," Drift said quietly. "He's awake but he won't get up. He hasn't stopped crying since Ruben called."

Sin tossed his helmet onto a small table and strode through the house as he unzipped his leather. Matt crowded in behind him as they entered the bedroom and was confronted with a heaving mass of blankets on the bed. Sin and Matt exchanged a look before Sin approached the bed.

"Esty?" Sin said quietly as he neared. Estaban threw back the covers and glared at them through red rimmed eyes, his nose runny.

"They killed my kitties," Estaban said flatly.

"I know Esty. I'm so sorry."

Estaban dissolved into tears again and Drift hurried forward to push a box of tissues at him. Estaban jerked four free and wadded them up and howled into their depths. Matt and Sin exchanged another glance, Sin shaking his head silently. Matt glanced back over at Estaban and shifted his feet uncomfortably. Guilt rolled over Matt in a sudden wave. Here Estaban was grieving his heart out for a pair of cats but other than a few tears shed here and there not a one of them had cried like that for Trish. Yeah, they had all felt bad about her death and both Matt and Sin felt a deep measure of guilt but had either of them really grieved her? No. Not to the extent of Estaban's grief over his cats. Their grieving had been more about the guilt they felt, feeling sorry for themselves, not grieving the loss of Trish for who she had been or what she had meant to them. Neither of them truly missed her, they just felt bad that she had died. Matt looked away and swallowed hard.

Sin moved closer to the bed and placed a gentle hand on Estaban's shoulder. "Esty, I'm so sorry. I..."

Whatever else he had intended to say was cut off by Estaban's sudden movement. He literally leapt up in the bed and began to flail with both fists at Sin's head and chest, striking out blindly.

"It's all your fault you bastard!" Estaban screamed wildly. "They killed my babies because of you! You piece of shit! You bastard! You sorry dog fucker! I hate you!" Estaban continued all the while to swing blindly until Drift vaulted up onto the bed, caught Estaban around the waist and body slammed him onto the mattress where Esty just lay in a heap of tears and broken words muffled by the blankets floating back out in Spanish.

Sin was pale but stood still, only reaching up to wipe a small trickle of blood from a fat lip. Matt retrieved the tissue box and took it to Sin, pulling two out and handing them to him to blot at the bloody lip. Finally Sin wadded the tissue up in his fist, stuffed them in his pocket and turned. "Let's go Matt. Nothing we can do here."

Matt followed him out of the bedroom with a shocked numbness, Drift bringing up the rear and closing the bedroom door behind him.

"No, you can't leave yet," Drift said firmly as they entered the living room area. "Sit down. We need to talk."

Sin shrugged and threw himself into a brown leather chair. It creaked and groaned against his weight.

"Esty is right you know," Drift said, seating himself on the arm of a sofa while Matt turned a wooden chair around backwards and straddled it, facing the other two.

"I didn't deny it," Sin said, his voice a tired sigh.

"So what are you going to do about it and when?" Drift asked, sounding like a much older man than he was.

"What do you want me to do? Buy him new cats? It wouldn't be the same and you know it."

Drift shook his bald head. "You know I don't mean that. You said you were going to kill this McKenna. It's time to get it done Sin. When are you going to because I'm coming along, and so is Estaban. We want to make sure the job gets done."

"Because of two damn cats?" Matt demanded hotly.

Drift's head whipped around toward Matt, his eyes blazing with a light that Matt had never seen in him before, an iron band of anger that Matt was surprised to be confronted with from such a young man.

"Watch it Matt," Drift said in a dangerous tone, pointing an admonishing finger at him. "Esty is real sensitive right now and you will keep your voice down about those cats. And no, it's not just about the cats. Did you forget that someone had to have tipped off the cops about where I was? It's not very likely that anyone else would have had an interest in me. Estaban had a private investigator do some snooping about and it turns out that not only were my parents tipped off but they were offered five thousand dollars if they could force me to go back home with them. Now why would anyone do that if not to hurt me and Esty in an effort to hurt Sin? So much has been going on lately between all of us, with Trish thrown in, that I think they aren't really sure which target would get to Sin the most. When Trish's death didn't send him running they hit again and again. We all know this is just the beginning. The attacks are escalating according to what I know of your story Sin. Not just a hit here and there but several bunched together. He's out to break you this time. I won't let him break Esty first just to get to you. It's time you got your business taken care of Sin. Stop sitting on your ass or running away. It has to stop. Now."

The color rose up in Sin's face and Matt wasn't sure if it was pure rage or total humiliation for being called down by a boy child. Matt tensed to spring in case he needed to move fast to stop Sin from launching himself at the boy. Sin sat silently though, staring daggers at Drift. Finally though his shoulders slumped and he leaned his head back against the chair. Matt and Drift watched him silently, waiting for him to respond. They waited a long while with Sin just sitting there. The silence was interrupted by the sound of Estaban leaving the bedroom and shuffling down the hall towards them. He came into the room like an old man, head bowed, shoulders slumped, feet shambling. Drift rose and went to him, took his hand and led him to a recliner where he pulled Estaban into his lap and cradled him there as if Esty were the child and Drift the man.

"I haven't been sitting on my ass Drift," Sin said at long last, his eyes softening as he took in the scene of Drift cradling Esty, trying to comfort him with touch. "I've been doing my research. Some of my Chains fans are rather, shall we say, lower class citizens and they have been scouting out the layout of the good Senator's home. Both of his homes actually. I have blueprints and security codes for his alarm systems. I have his schedule and his wife's. I know what kind of canned dog food his dog likes best. We'll get it done this weekend. If you and Estaban want to come to see to it that I get the job done fine but we have to plan it all out carefully first."

Matt gaped over at Sin. He couldn't believe that Sin would agree to let a sixteen year old kid come along on a mission of murder. Estaban could take care of himself and even be an asset, so long as he could ever stop sobbing, but Drift was raw off the streets and too young to keep a cool head. He opened his mouth to protest but Sin shot him a look of such exasperation that Matt closed his mouth. Hell, Sin was running this show. Matt was just a tag along too and he realized he could do it Sin's way or sit on the sidelines because all Sin had to do to shut him out was withhold vital information of where, when and how.

"Was that your plan all along Sin? To do it this weekend or have you moved up your timetable on a whim?" Matt demanded.

"It was my plan all along."

"And when were you going to cut me in on the deal?" Matt demanded hotly.

Sin stared at him silently and that silence said louder than any words that Sin had intended to go alone. Matt seethed and glared but Sin was unaffected and looked away.

"I won't go back to that apartment," Estaban said into the silence, sniffling. "Not ever again. Ruben has hired a moving crew to pack my things."

"Where are you going to go?" Matt asked gently.

"We're going to Madrid." It was Drift who answered and both Matt and Sin sat up straighter in surprise.

"As in Spain?" Matt asked shocked.

Estaban nodded against Drift's chest. "It's all arranged. My things will be put into storage in case we ever decide to return but for now I want to go home."

"And I'll be safe there. They can't find me if I'm not in the country." Drift said, smoothing Esty's hair with his tattooed fingers.

"How the hell are you going to get a passport and visa Drift? You do realize you have to have all that to leave the country, right?"

Drift nodded. "Yeah, we got it covered. There is a man that Julio knows that is in debt to a loan shark. He has a son my age who doesn't look exactly like me but close enough. I doubt anyone will look at the pictures too closely. They will just assume the difference is in the fact that in the picture the guy has hair. They'll assume the shaved head is the difference. Anyway, I'll fly down with this guy and his family in place of their son. Estaban in exchange for their help will pay off the debt. They already have all the paperwork and some contacts at the airport too to help us out. Estaban will fly down two days later and meet me there."

"Are you sure that is what you want Drift? To leave America behind? Have you ever been out of the country before?" Matt asked, awed by the thought of the kid just walking away from the land of his birth, maybe not to return.

Drift shrugged. "My home is with Estaban, where ever that may be. I'd go or do whatever he desired me to. I'd die if he asked it of me."

Estaban burst into another loud round of tears and threw his arms around Drift. Drift held him close and stared at Matt and Sin defiantly.

"First though I want to see McKenna dead," Drift said coldly. "No one hurts Esty like that and lives. Sin, if I didn't know you had no idea this would happen I might would be inclined to hold you solely responsible but I do know it's not entirely your fault. As soon as McKenna is dead me and Esty are out of here."

"Looks like you've found a keeper Esty," Sin said with a smile playing around his mouth.

"I have," Estaban said through his sniffles. "You and Matt were never good enough for me but Drift is. He loves me."

"Glad you finally realized it," Sin said seriously. Matt wondered if he was the only one in the room who had noticed that Estaban hadn't said he loved Drift as well. Not that it really mattered he supposed. It was obvious that Estaban had finally made his choice and was voicing it. He was no longer the least bit wishy washy about it.

"Alright, we all agree on what has to be done and that we are all four going to make sure it gets done. I have a plan drawn up already, all the logistics laid out and emergency backups in case of a major fuck up. Me and Matt will ride back out here on Friday night and stay over so we can all go over the plan, memorize the layout of the house, all that shit. Saturday night McKenna will be in his mansion, not the smaller house he owns in Virginia. The mansion is not only a state closer but easier to enter the grounds unnoticed because it's more secluded and that's where we will hit him. He has an office on the first floor and according to my sources spends a lot of his late nights there fucking his maid while his wife is asleep. The security system is pretty good but as I said earlier I have the codes."

"Don't try to sneak off and do this without us," Drift said, eyeing Sin suspiciously. Sin nodded gravely and heaved himself to his feet.

"Don't worry, I'm resigned to this," Sin said flatly. He crossed the room, slowing to snatch a handful of tissues from a box on a side table. He knelt before Drift and Estaban and used the wad of tissue to gently dry Esty's face then shoved the wad in his jacket pocket. "We'll get this bastard Esty. I promise. I am so sorry about your cats. I know you loved them." Sin leaned in and kissed Estaban gently on the mouth. His long elegant hand reached down to rub Drift's head as he stood. "We'll be back on Friday. Do you two have wheels?"

Estaban nodded. "Yeah, Ruben and Julio are driving out tomorrow to drop a car off, one of Julio's. I was afraid someone might spot mine and follow if they tried to bring it out."

"Probably would," Sin nodded then turned to sweep his helmet up off a table. "Come on kid, let's hit the road. We have a long way to go and a lot to do."

Matt stood and spun the chair back around to face forward before replacing it near the wall. He gave Estaban a sympathetic look before following Sin out of the house. As Matt closed the door behind them Sin surprised him by taking his hand leading him to the motorcycle. When they reached it Sin turned Matt around and waved for him to sit on the bike sideways so they could talk. Matt perched on the seat and looked up at Sin.

"What if I get one of you killed doing this Matt?" Sin asked, his eyes dark and troubled.

"It could happen. I'm not going to deny that it is a possibility but really Sin, I think we've got this covered. Those two know what they are about. Drift is young but he's street savvy. He's comfortable with a gun and usually has a level head on his shoulders. They are willing to face the risks and so am I."

Sin sighed, turning partly away and his hands came up to clutch the sides of his head as if he suddenly had a searing headache. Matt's brows furrowed in concern.

"I'm not sure I can take this," Sin groaned.

"You mean you can't go through with it?" Matt asked shocked.

Sin dropped his hands and gave Matt a despairing glare. "Oh, I'm going through with it. That isn't what I meant. I mean I'm not sure I can take the worry over one of you three getting hurt, killed or caught. Especially you."

Matt's brows shot up. Sin grimaced at Matt's show of surprise. "What?" Sin demanded. "I can't care?"

Matt shrugged uncomfortably. "I just didn't think you did. Not really, or rather, not much."

Sin lunged forward, caught Matt's head in an iron grip between his hands to hold him still and kissed him roughly. Matt felt heat spread from his head to his groin as Sin slipped his tongue between Matt's lips and deepened the kiss. Matt reached out and snagged Sin around the waist and hauled Sin's hips up hard between his thighs so he could feel Sin pressed against him. Sin lifted his mouth and stared down into Matt's eyes, both of them panting. Matt wished he could read what he saw within the depths but as was so often the case Sin had his soul shuttered and hidden away behind a mask of fire that blazed in his pupils like liquid lust. Abruptly Sin pulled away and tugged his helmet over his head, reaching up to buckle the strap under his chin. Matt sighed, turned forward on the bike and put on his own helmet. When Sin mounted in front of him Matt scooted forward a little to press his erection against Sin's ass. Sin's only response was to fire up the bike and take off with a spray of gravel and a skewing of the bike that left Matt's heart in his mouth and his arms clutching Sin's chest tightly.

Matt was puzzled when twenty minutes later Sin turned onto a small road with a sign that announced they were entering a state park. Matt remembered passing the sign on the way in to the cabin. Sin drove deeper and deeper into the park until they were well beyond the areas used by causal picnickers and day trippers. Only the most die hard hikers entered the depths of the park. Sin slowed near an embankment, turned the bike off the narrow road and gunned it up among the trees. Matt clung on desperately as Sin took them between trees and into a sheltered glen. Finally he brought the motorcycle to a halt and turned it off. He stayed seated so Matt did too, the two of them like giant insects in their helmets. Finally Sin stood and flipped up the face guard on his helmet as he turned toward Matt. When Matt reached to loosen the straps on his own helmet Sin brushed his hands away.

"Don't do that," Sin said sternly and instead flipped up the face shield on Matt's helmet too. "Can I trust you Matt?"

"Damn it Sin, you should know the answer to that by now!"

"Can I trust you to obey me?"

Matt cocked his head to the side. "Yeah I guess, I mean when it comes to getting the job done with McKenna..."

"I'm not just talking about that. Will you obey me? Right now. Can I trust you? Because I want to be able to trust you Matt."

"Uh, sure Sin. You can trust me."

Sin reached out and slapped the side of Matt's helmet hard enough to tilt his head. "You don't sound certain Matt."

"Yes Sin," Matt amended. "You can trust me. I will obey you."

Sin eyed him a moment then nodded slightly. "Alright. Here's what you will do. When I lower your face shield you will leave it lowered. You will not lift it again or attempt to remove your helmet until I say you can. You will follow me, you will not speak, not a word Matt, and you will do exactly as I tell you. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sin," Matt said, his heart starting to race. Sin was up to something and usually when Sin was up to something it meant sex.

"Good boy," Sin said and slapped the shield down over Matt's eyes so that he was once again looking at the world through a tinted visor. Sin lowered his own shield and stood looming over Matt, his eyes hidden by the tint of the sun shield. He held out a gloved hand to Matt and Matt took it, dismounting the bike without ever turning his head away from Sin's hidden gaze. Sin led him deeper into the trees, his head turning this way and that as if seeking something. They hiked a while that way before Sin seemed to find what he was looking for, a small hollow densely ringed by trees and brush. Releasing Matt's hand Sin walked to a stump, sat on it and removed one of his boots and his sock. Only one. Then he raised his right hand up and jerking the glove off finger by finger removed it as well and tossed it down on top of his boot. Matt stood watching curiously, dying to ask questions but Sin had said no talking after the shield was lowered and by god he'd prove he could obey.

Sin's head tilted up. Matt knew he was looking at him though he could not see Sin's face at all through the shield. It was strangely uncomfortable to not be able to Sin's face, to read his expression for clues. Matt shifted nervously. Was Sin in a violent mood? A quiet one? Was he just pulling a trick on Matt, finding yet another way to belittle him?

Matt had no idea and could glean no clue from the body language of the leather clad helmeted man in from of him. He had to nearly bite his tongue to keep from asking "what now?" Sin left him standing in uncertainty for what seemed an eternity, the two of them staring at one another but unable to see the other's face. Finally Sin rose and approached. He moved in close, then closer, until his body was pressed hard against Matt's, until Matt was forced to back away or be knocked over. Sin forced him back in that way until Matt's back came up against the trunk of a tree. Sin's gloved left hand rose, traveled up the front of Matt's jacket and hooked roughly under the collar. The hand fisted in the leather harshly enough to force Matt's head back. Sin's bare right hand eased the zipper down then jerked it loose at the bottom. Matt realized his breathing was too heavy and forced himself to breath through his nose to keep from getting light headed. Sin's gloved left hand remained fisted in Matt's collar but the right hand had slipped wickedly up under Matt's t-shirt and began traveling over his torso. Finally Sin released his hold on Matt's jacket and the gloved hand slipped up inside Matt's shirt too, the contrast of warm palm and cold leather tantalizing on his chest, his sides, his nipples. Matt tilted his head back against the tree reveling in the feel of Sin's hands on his skin. Then Sin just stepped away, backed up several steps and beckoned Matt forward.

No, don't tell me he intends to stop! Matt's mind shrieked as Matt stepped forward shakily. Surely Sin wouldn't leave him hanging!

When Matt stood directly before Sin once more Sin reached out and roughly undid the button on Matt's fly, then eased the zipper down. His hands slipped under the waist band of both jeans and briefs and pushed them both down, working them over Matt's straining cock and past his hips, then down passed his knees to pool around his ankles. Sin went to his knees as he did this, lowering himself as he lowered Matt's pants. Matt's mind went immediately to having Sin's mouth on his cock but that couldn't happen, not with Sin wearing his helmet with the face shield down. To Matt's shock Sin suddenly leaned against his leg, an arm coming up around Matt's waist, Sin's head turned to the side, his helmet pressed against Matt's stomach. It was a definite and unmistakably submissive posture. Matt stared down at the top of Sin's helmet, gaping. His hand rose without thought and rested on the bent head. His mind raged in frustration. How he wanted to be able to smooth his fingers through Sin's hair! How he wanted to feel Sin's cheek against his stomach, to be flesh to flesh in this impossibly improbably moment. Whatever turmoil had weakened Sin to this need for a moment's comfort he could only guess but he knew that Sin would never do this again. For this Matt would give up on any hope of sex today if only he could feel Sin flesh to flesh like this, pressed childlike against his leg, his head bowed, his emotions raw. But, Matt realized, even in this moment of apparent weakness Sin was still in control. He was fully dressed except for a single bare foot and a single bare hand while Matt was bare assed and trapped at the ankles by his own jeans. Still he was deeply moved by the gesture. It touched something inside him that made him ache and groan Sin's name.

Matt regretted letting that groan slip. Sin immediately released him and stood then gave Matt a hard shove on the shoulders. Instinctively he tried to step back to retain his balance but his pants constrained his ankles and Matt toppled backwards, only barely able to catch himself on his elbows enough to prevent the wind from being knocked out of him. Sin stood over him, his helmeted head tilted at a cocky angle. The moment of weakness was past. Sin stepped over Matt, straddling him at the hips and the booted toe of his left boot came down threateningly on Matt's fingers. The pressure was painful but not hard enough to cause injury. Matt resisted the urge to jerk his hand out from under Sin's boot. It was punishment for the slip up of saying Sin's name and he knew it. Matt stared up at the figure towering over him and sighed silently to himself. Sin owned him and could play him like an instrument, make him sigh and groan and sing to any tune Sin desired. Matt lowered his head and Sin lifted his boot.

The movement of Sin's hands brought Matt's head back up. Matt watched as Sin slowly undid the button on his own jeans then teased the zipper down. Matt watched with interest, enjoying the show, liking the contrast of Sin's darkly leathered left hand with his pale long fingered bare right hand. Sin pushed the jeans down and Matt felt puzzled surprise when Sin stepped out of the right leg of his pants, leaving the jeans bunched around the top of his left boot around his ankle. Matt's eyes were drawn upward again when Sin's hand lifted, entered a pocket of his leather jacket and came out with a packet of lubricant. Matt's mind immediately conjured up an image of Sin suddenly flipping him over onto his stomach, jerking him up by the hips and fucking him like a dog. Matt shivered.

Sin didn't flip him over though. He slowly lowered himself so that he straddled Matt at the thighs, their cocks nearly touching. Matt watched as Sin ripped open the packet and poured its entire contents into his bare palm. Slowly the hand lowered, not to Sin's cock but to Matt's. Matt gasped in shuttery pleasure as Sin smoothed the icy cold lubricant over his cock, stroking with long sweeps as he carefully slicked up its entire length. Once again Matt raged against his inability to see Sin's face, to watch his eyes. When Sin took Matt by the shoulders and made him readjust himself into the hollow on the ground Matt's heart began to pound harder but when Sin moved up and reached back to guide Matt's cock to the entrance of his hole Matt felt for sure his heart had stopped. As Sin eased himself down inch by delectable inch onto Matt's cock Matt felt his heart start again but it skipped around like a rabbit on acid.

It hadn't been the seclusion of the location alone that Sin had been looking for. It had been the shape of the ground, the perfect hollow in which to lay Matt down then ride him like a bronco. Grinding his teeth to keep from groaning aloud again Matt leaned forward, hooked his hands around the backs of Sin's thighs and bucked. He was limited and awkward and he knew Sin had intended for it to be that way. No matter how he looked at it Matt knew Sin was still in full control. Why Sin was letting him get in his hole Matt didn't know but he damn sure wasn't going to question it. He was going to enjoy the hell out of it.

It didn't take long for Matt to become frustrated. The position was strained, he had no leverage, his legs were trapped together by his pants and Sin wasn't cooperating, in fact Sin was just teasing him. Matt could hear the thunder of his pulse pounding in his ears and his helmet was becoming stifling hot and fogging over inside. He longed to reach up and flip open the shield so he could breath. Sin was being stubborn, only moving with him part of the time. Matt's lips craved the taste of flesh and he longed to lay eyes on Sin's delectable ass. He knew every contour of each of Sin's ass cheeks; he had stared at them for months, every time the man had been naked. With Sin astride him now and disturbing his every rhythm Matt couldn't take the torture, and torture it was!

With lust pulsing through him like lava and the constant boom of his heartbeat deafening him to all else Matt lost his head. After thrashing and twisting like a rabid beast he'd had enough. There was no way for him to get a taste of Sin but a sight of him was only a position shift away. With a rare display of the true strength he possessed Matt bucked Sin off, grabbed him and flipped him over. He got his hands on Sin's hips, jerked them up and plunged his cock into Sin's beautiful ass. Sin's jeans had gotten twisted up around Matt's leg and he tugged them loose forcefully even as he set a satisfying pace. Mat suddenly noticed that Sin's braid had come untucked from his jacket and was hanging out of the back of his helmet. Without hesitation he reached for it, twisted it around his fist and used it to pull Sin's head back. Sin was growling under him but he was also rocking back, meeting Matt thrust for thrust. Matt's helmet had finally fogged up entirely and he was fucking blind but it didn't matter. He was lost now to all sensation other than the ones in his cock and balls. He came with gushing force, shouting out his triumph and pounding in to Sin's hole one more time as his cock twitched and spat. Drained of all energy his cock, now going soft, slipped from Sin's ass and Matt collapsed onto his side, dragging Sin down with him. They both lay in the leaves, panting.

Matt was not sure how long it was before Sin finally stirred. It must have been a while because his sun shield had finally cleared enough from the fogginess for him to see Sin stagger to his feet and also to notice that Sin's pale bare hand was sticky with cum. Matt was relieved suddenly to know that Sin had cum too...he had been enjoying himself too much to think about Sin getting off too. Sin didn't look back at Matt, only moved away dragging the long length of his denim jeans from one ankle as he pulled the wad of tissues from his pocket that he had crammed there while at the cabin, several spilling out and fluttering across the ground. Matt would have laughed at the sight if he'd had the energy. Instead he just lay there marveling at the memory of one hell of a great fuck.

Suddenly Matt was very thankful that Sin had stopped him from leaving in the night. He wouldn't have missed this for the world. Matt's mouth twitched down into a frown as he realized that his near leaving was probably the reason Sin had allowed this. When Sin had told Matt to go back to bed he had. This was his reward. A taste of things that could be if he hung around long enough. If he stayed wrapped around Sin's little finger.

Matt was still laying there when Sin reappeared. Matt hadn't even bothered to pull up his pants, he had just fished a cigarette from his pocket and lounged enjoying it while Sin was in the bushes tidying himself up. Now Sin stood over him, fully dressed including both boots and both gloves. Matt had lifted his face shield but only halfway so that he could smoke but not so that his eyes were visible. Sin kicked him harshly in the ribs and strode away. Suddenly Matt realized that Sin was very capable of leaving him stranded there in the middle of nowhere. Panicked he threw down the cigarette and stomped on it even as he struggled to pull up his pants. He broke into a jog before he was all the way zipped up and broke into the clearing where the bike was as Sin fired it up. Matt had to throw himself foot first at the bike to catch it before Sin pulled away. He threw them off balance and Sin nearly dropped it but got a foot down, steadied them and headed down the embankment with Matt whispering a litany of "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" under his breath.

Matt was relieved when they turned back on to the main paved roads and Sin set a more reasonable pace. He still clung tightly to him though and Matt could feel that Sin's body was tense, nearly vibrating with suppressed emotions and Matt wasn't sure what they were. The closer they got to home the more anxiety Matt felt. Was Sin pissed off at him? And if so why? Maybe Matt shouldn't have taken the upper hand by flipping Sin over but Sin hadn't fought him and had damned sure seemed to enjoy it as much as Matt had. No, he didn't think Sin was mad about that. What was he mad about? Matt's mind raced. He had obeyed Sin. Hadn't he? Well no, he hadn't. He had fucked up twice, well, three times really but he didn't think Sin could hear him the third time. The first time was when he had groaned Sin's name aloud. Sin had punished him for that by stepping on his fingers. The second time was when Matt had lifted his face shield part way up to smoke his cigarette. Sin had not given him permission to do that and Matt had agreed not to without permission. True, Sin had given him a kick to the ribs but that hadn't been very hard and Matt was fairly sure it had nothing to do with his sun shield, it had only been to get him up and moving. The third time had been the muttered "oh shit" under his breath as they went down the embankment and Matt was sure Sin couldn't hear that over the roar of the motorcycle. So, it had to be the face mask incident. Matt began to fear that he had punishment coming for that.

When Sin pulled the bike back into the bay of the shop Matt dismounted after Sin did but he did not reach up to remove his helmet, he just stood there, waiting. Sin pulled his own off and turned to give Matt a furious glare but when he found Matt standing still and silent his brow rose, then he nodded his head. "Take your helmet off kid," Sin said, some of the tension seeming to ease out of his limbs. Relieved Matt hurried to comply.

Stan appeared in the doorway near Matt and took the keys from Sin. He looked from one of them to other. "Please tell me you didn't drop that baby," Stan said nodding toward the bike.

"Of course not," Sin growled. "Why?"

"You're both covered in dirt," Stan said, staring at Sin's pants. And indeed they both were. They had done a pretty damn good job of grinding their jeans in the dirt while in the woods. Suddenly Stan's eyes lit up as if the scene was obvious. "Been fucking in the dirt have you?" his laughter was loud and echoed around the shop in booming waves. "I tell you what Sin, this one's pretty. Looks like you've started training him up well too. When are you going to bring him over so I see how smooth he rides?" Stan reached out with an enormous hand and grabbed Matt's ass, giving it a hard squeeze. Matt jumped away and drew back a fist.

"Whoa, whoa kid! Stan would kill you!" Sin said leaping forward and grabbing Matt's arm. "He isn't trained at all yet Stan. He's not even broken in to a collar. Next time ask before you touch or you may get shot."

Stan's brow jumped as he swung his massive head towards Sin. "By who, you or him?"

Sin showed Stan his teeth in what Matt thought might be smile but he wasn't sure. "Let's not argue Stan. You know you're my pal. How bout you put my baby to bed for me? I have practice with the band tonight and I need to get home and cleaned up. What do you say?"

Stan shrugged his beefy shoulders and reached out to shake Sin's hand. "No hard feelings then?" he asked.

"None," Sin assured him but there was something in Sin's eye that made Matt shift his weight more to his toes in case he needed to be able to spring into action. Stan turned away and the tension was broken. "Go wave down a cab Matt, I'll be out in a minute."

Matt went, only glancing back once to see Sin talking quietly to Stan. In the cab Matt wanted to ask if he was allowed to talk now but he waited patiently for Sin to let him know what to do. They rode back to the apartment in silence and Matt grew more and more impatient but kept his mouth shut. He began to wonder if maybe Sin had forgotten his order for Matt not to speak. Once inside Sin headed straight for the shower. Frustrated Matt followed him and when Sin stripped and stepped inside Matt did same.

"Why didn't you tell me you had practice tonight Sin? I might want to tag along," Matt said at last, tired of the silent treatment and convinced that Sin had forgotten the order he had given.

Without a change of expression Sin grabbed Matt's hair and struck out with his knee, catching Matt behind his own knee and causing his legs to buckle. Matt went down heavily onto the tile floor. Sin obviously had not forgotten.

"Since you can't seem to keep your mouth shut Matt you may as well open it wide," Sin growled and squeezed Matt's jaws with a hard hand. Matt's teeth sprang open even as he tried to turn his head away from the pain but Sin yanked back on his hair. Quickly Sin released Matt's hair, the other hand still on Matt's jaws and reached down, grabbed his dick, pointed it at Matt's open mouth and started to piss. Matt tried desperately to reel away but Sin held him in a vice like grip. Piss poured into Matt's mouth and gushed down his chin. It was swallow or drown and Matt swallowed even as he tried to pry Sin's hand away. Finally Sin released him but continued to piss on him, the hot stream running over Matt's neck and chest only to be washed away immediately by the shower water. Finally Sin's stream ran dry. Matt was huddled against the shower wall, a hand up to protect his face. He could taste the salty bitterness of Sin's piss on his tongue but what he wanted most was to hide the fact that his dick had leapt up hard as rock. Matt wished he could understand why Sin's abuse and humiliation of him turned him on so hot, like a flash fire uncontrolled but Matt couldn't understand it, only try to hide it. Sin's sudden laughter said that Sin had seen it and was amused.

"Damn kid," Sin said smirking. "I should have pissed on you ages ago. Look how straight and stiff your cock is standing. Beautiful. If I had time I'd make you wank off for me so I could watch but I'm late already." Sin stepped out of the shower and left Matt hunched against the wet wall burning with humiliation but secretly savoring the taste on his tongue.