Indulgence ©

By Jack Llawayllynn

Chapter 4: Turning Point

Matt spent the rest of the week cleaning his apartment. It had turned into a pig sty. Trish came by once but the silence was so thick and oppressive that she soon left. Matt was not sorry to see her go. She no longer held the appeal for him that she once had. Matt was sorry to see the pain in her eyes but had no idea of how to comfort her, how to explain his sudden withdrawal.

The weekend rolled by with no word from Sin and Matt wondered if perhaps he had decided he'd had his fun with Matt and moved on. Monday morning Matt returned to work, now much more at peace with himself. Silverman and Jill seemed nervous in the morning around him but by five o'clock they were much more relaxed and seemed pleased to find him pretty much back to normal.

By Wednesday Matt realized it was time to cut Trish loose. He couldn't keep trailing her along when there was no love there for her. He left work promptly at five and took a taxi to her apartment. She did not seem surprised to see him at her door unannounced.

"It's over, isn't it?" she asked, standing in the doorway, not even inviting him in.


"There's someone else," she stated flatly.

"Yes," Matt couldn't deny it. He knew she thought it was another woman but he let her believe it.

"Goodbye Matt." She closed the door in his face.

"Goodbye Trish," he said quietly to the door and walked away. He had not expected her to be so calm, so dry about it. Now though he realized that she'd felt him pulling away for weeks and had already mourned the loss of their relationship. Feeling guilty but free he went home and sat in front of the television until ten o'clock. He wondered if Sin would ever show back up in his life or if he was adrift now.

It was Friday before that question was answered for him. Jill called to him as he came through the door on his way back from lunch. "Darvins! You'll never guess who came by! That guy from the Red Table was here looking for you."

"What did he want?" Matt asked carefully.

"He said he needed to speak to you about a legal matter. Oh Darvins, I hope he isn't planning on suing you!"

Matt chuckled and shook his head. "Not likely. He'd have a hard time explaining why he denied knowing me at the restaurant. No, he probably has some problems with building inspectors that he needs me to look into."

Jill looked at him in horror. "You talk like the two of you are friends!"

Matt shrugged. "We are."

Jill opened her mouth then closed it again. "Well..."she said then stopped. She picked up a piece of paper and handed it to Matt. "He said he'd be at this address tonight."

Matt took the paper and glanced down at it. There was an address written in bold firm letters with eight o'clock written under it. Matt snorted and shoved the paper into his pocket. He wasn't sure if he was amused at Sin's gall or royally pissed off at his hypocrisy. When Matt had gone to Sin's job site Sin had nearly killed him but Sin thought nothing of marching into Matt's place of employment. Matt shrugged it off. He'd deal with it after work.

Matt arrived at the address at promptly eight o'clock, dressed in casual jeans and denim jacket. The building was in a rough area of the city, the street outside was littered and there was a man passed out near the entrance. The elevator was out of order so Matt climbed the stairs warily. Some of the doors he passed had excessive numbers of locks on them. Some had electronic locks but many of these looked like they were in disrepair. Up and up he went, panting by the time he reached the fifth floor. By the time he reached the eighth floor and found Sin's door he had broken a sweat and started to grumble. When he saw a note on the door with his name printed across the front he cursed and jerked it down.

"Matt," it read, "got a page from one of the foremen. There's been a collapse at the site and I have to look into it personally. I've reprogrammed the electric lock. Just punch in your birth date and make yourself at home. This shouldn't take long. Sin."

Matt scowled at the keypad then punched in his date of birth. The little red light that had been on in the left hand corner disappeared and a green light appeared in the right hand corner. Matt couldn't remember having ever told Sin what his birth date was. Unhappy with the whole situation Matt pushed the door open and stepped into Sin's apartment.

The first thing that hit Matt was the sweet, heavy odor of incense. It hovered in the air around him with a potency that spoke of endless hours of burning patchouli. Matt pushed the door closed behind himself and let his eyes adjust to the dimness within. The apartment was clean, if a little cluttered with odd statuettes and paintings. There was a pair of lava lamps, one each on opposite ends of the sofa, both blue, providing the only light other than a huge fish tank in the corner that glowed softly under florescent lights. Matt crossed to it and peered inside. There were no fish, only a single large squid that immediately pressed itself to the side of the glass as if trying to peer out at Matt. Fascinated Matt watched it a few moments before turning away to explore the apartment.

The living room was furnished mostly in black, black sofa, ebony coffee table, black side tables. There was an animal skin print throw blanket across the back of the sofa and Matt went to examine it curiously only to find that the fur wasn't a fake print, it was real. The paintings on the walls were disturbing, grotesque beasts and torture scenes, all bringing hell vividly to mind. Matt turned away from these to study the small statues that were scattered about on ornate stands. These were no less disturbing, depicting men and women tied or chained into impossibly tortured positions.

It was a relief to Matt to find that kitchen was absolutely boring and unremarkable. In fact, it was nearly bare. Matt opened cabinets to find them mostly empty except for several bottles of liquor and some glasses. The refrigerator too was sadly sparse in its contents; several kinds of beer, a take-away box from some restaurant and a gallon of milk.

Matt headed into the bedroom not knowing what to expect. Black satin - he should have guessed. In here the artwork was even more macabre, the sexual content disturbing and unnerving. Matt sat down on the edge of the unmade bed and bounced a little. Nice mattress, he thought. He pulled open the drawer in the bedside table and was shocked to find a 9mm handgun. He took it out, checked the clip and found it fully loaded. Matt was no stranger to guns. His uncle Frank had been an avid collector and had taught Matt to handle many kinds of weapons. Matt laid the gun back in the drawer and closed it.

The closet door was closed so Matt went to rummage in it just for the hell of it. Sin's clothes smelled of him, leather and ocean air. He didn't keep a lot of extras, just the basics. There was a box on the closet floor and Matt opened it. Inside he found three more handguns, each one different, and the ammunition needed by each. Matt closed the box and the closet door. He did not want to know why Sin thought he needed four guns.

Matt went back to the kitchen and poured himself a scotch on the rocks. There was a good stereo system in the corner so Matt hit the power button. The lights across the front indicated that there was a compact disk in the tray so he pushed the play button. A surprisingly exotic strain of music poured forth, a haunting and ghostly tune that had a shadow of distant African drums in the background. By the time Matt sat down on the couch a female voice had joined in the rhythm. She sang in another language, one Matt could not even begin to place but her voice was chilling and sweet, eerie and soft. He leaned back and listened, enjoying the strangely erotic melody.

Why, he wondered to himself, would Sin own so many guns? Did he just have fetish for them? Was it one of those macho power things? Matt didn't think so on either count. If Sin were out to prove something with those guns he would have left one out in plain sight, something to impress his guest. No, Matt didn't think Sin owned them for the sake of just owning guns. Matt had the distinct feeling that Sin owned them to use. But to what use did he put them?

Bored and starting to become irritable, Matt wandered over to the tank and watched the squid flowing softly back and forth over the sandy bottom. It couldn't entertain him for long so he wandered once more into the bedroom. The guns troubled him. Sin was certainly a violent man, with a terribly violent temper. Matt unconsciously touched a hand to his ribs, remembering how Sin had pounded his fist into them over and over. Matt frowned, anger rising within him. Sin had a lot of nerve coming to the office like he had done today. Obviously he thought himself superior, that he had the right to march all over Matt's life but if Matt stepped into Sin's uninvited he got the shit beat out of him. Matt sat down on the bed again and once more took the gun from the drawer. The metal was cool in his hand, comfortable. Matt flipped it over in his hand, checked the safety. It wasn't on.

I could kill him, Matt thought. It would be simple. Quick. A sure way to cure himself of his insane obsession with Sin. Matt shook his head. No, he didn't think that Sin's death would cure him, not now. Maybe if he had done it earlier, after the first night, or even the second. But not now.

Matt heard the door open in the living room and started to put the gun back but stopped. Suddenly he wanted to prove to Sin that he'd not be trampled on, that he'd never back down and be dominated. Carefully Matt slid the gun into his waistband behind his back. He heard Sin call to him from the living room.

"I'm here," Matt called back as walked towards Sin's voice. Sin was heading for the kitchen and turned on his heel to meet Matt in the living room. "What's up with the squid?" Matt asked, nodding toward the tank.

Sin shrugged. "Makes less mess than the cat did."

"What cat?"

"She's gone now. Died three years ago."

"Oh? How?"

Sin shrugged again and looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. How about we talk about why you came to my office." Matt smiled but his eyes were hard. "I assume that it didn't pertain to legal matters."

"No, it didn't." Sin showed him his white teeth and sauntered over to Matt, eyes sparkling. "I just wanted to..."

"Shut up Sin, I don't want to hear it," Matt ground out between his teeth, echoing the words that Sin had said to him at the Delaney Construction job site. Sin was close now, very close to him. Matt reached up with his left hand, snagged Sin's braid in his fist and pulled his head back. With his right hand he whipped the gun from his waistband and pressed it under Sin's chin. "I don't want to hear it. What excuse could you possibly give for coming to my office? That was stupid Sin."

Sin's eyes widened, his breath caught. "What the hell are you doing?" he whispered.

"You think you can walk over anyone, don't you Sin?" Matt hissed, pressing the gun harder against Sin's flesh. "One of these days you're going to learn the hard way that you can't do just as you please, that you can't always have things the way you want them."

Sin's breath was coming in short gasps, his body was stiff and rigid with tension. A thin film of sweat glistened on his brow. Matt's eyes widened in surprise. The man was terrified, truly afraid for his life. Matt smiled. He had expected Sin to get pissed off, not petrified. It gave Matt a sense of power, of control. He pulled Sin closer, the braid firmly wrapped in his fist.

"You're one of McKenna's men aren't you?" Sin whispered, his body now beginning to shiver.

"McKenna?" Matt's eyes narrowed. He had no idea who this McKenna was but it was quite plain that the man was someone dangerous to Sin, someone Sin thought would send a killer to take him out. "What if I am?" Matt asked quietly.

Sin eyed him warily, unsure. "Then you're here to kill me," he answered finally.

Matt held him suspended in uncertainty for a moment longer. Sin took a breath, closed his eyes, and then opened them slowly. They were now hard and cold as pebbles, boring into Matt's soul. Suddenly Matt felt the cold, hard muzzle of a gun pressed under his ribs. Sin had produced it from some pocket of his leather jacket and now pressed it against Matt unmercifully.

"Are you or are you not one of McKenna's men?" Sin growled.

Matt couldn't help it, he laughed. The whole situation was ludicrous. He released Sin's braid but did not move the gun. "What do you think?"

Sin's eyes changed once more, so suddenly that Matt frowned. The glare was no longer hate-filled. Now it seemed regretful, almost sad. Matt heard Sin cock the hammer.

"Shit!" Matt spat and lowered his weapon. "You're serious!"

Sin said nothing. Even though Matt no longer pressed the gun to Sin's flesh Sin did not lower his own weapon. His eyes were deep, searching Matt's face, his brows knitting. "Answer me Matt. Are you working for McKenna?"

"I have no idea who you're talking about," Matt said calmly, though his in his soul he was truly beginning to fear for his life.

"Swear it on your soul," Sin whispered, his eyes glinting.

"I swear on my soul that I have no idea who this McKenna is," Matt answered quickly.

"If you are lying..."

Matt held up his hands then realized that he still clutched Sin's 9mm. Carefully he lowered it to a nearby end table. "I was just fucking around Sin. Honest."

Sin stood a moment, eye to eye with Matt, the muzzle of the gun pressed hard against Matt's ribs. Matt held his breath. He could tell that Sin was trying to decide whether or not to believe him. Suddenly Sin's hand began to shake, the gun vibrating against Matt's side. Slowly Matt took a step back, hands still raised, eyes still on Sin's. With careful deliberate movements Matt reached out and took the gun from Sin's hand and laid it on the table beside the 9mm. Sin's whole body seemed to convulse lightly. They held the stare a moment longer before Sin melted down onto the floor, onto his knees, his face buried in his hands. "I could have killed you!" he growled.

Matt stared down at him in shock. Sin's shoulders heaved slightly. Sin suddenly drove a fist into the carpeted floor and Matt winced at the sound of the forceful impact. Finally Sin looked up, his eyes tortured, almost panicky. "I nearly killed you!" he said loudly.

Matt glanced back over at the guns and realized what a fool he'd been. He didn't know Sin, had no idea what drove him, what might push him over the edge. Matt shivered, realizing he had just been brushed by death's hand. He glanced back down at Sin who once again had is face buried in his hands. The knuckles of the right were scraped raw from the harsh blow to the carpet and bleeding slightly. Matt knelt and touched Sin's shoulder. "I'm sorry Sin," he muttered.

"Not as sorry as I would have been if I had shot you. God Matt!" Sin sat up and reached out, grasping Matt and pulling him forward to embrace him. His hold was so tight that Matt couldn't breathe. Finally Sin released him. "Don't ever do that to me again. Please."

"I won't!" Matt assured him vehemently.

"Jesus, I need a drink."

"I'll get it," Matt volunteered and rushed off to the kitchen. He poured them each a stiff whiskey and brought back the glasses and the bottle. Sin was up off the floor, sitting on the couch and staring at the squid in the tank that floated back and forth, back and forth restlessly. He did not look up at Matt as he took the glass, downed it, handed it back and waited for Matt to refill it. Matt sat as he handed the glass to Sin a second time, concerned with the tremble in Sin's hand, the deathly pale pallor of his flesh.

"So, who is this McKenna?" Matt asked as he took a healthy shot from his own glass.

Sin looked over at him, his eyes bleak. He gave a small shake of his head as if to say that he wasn't up to talking about it. Matt nodded slightly and settled back on the couch beside Sin, both of them now watching the squid swim back and forth. The compact disc in the stereo ended. Sin reached for the remote, pushed a button and the disc started once more. A long time passed before Sin sighed and relaxed back against the cushions alongside Matt.

"Remember when I told you my adopted father kicked me out of the house after he caught me with the neighbor's boy?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, I remember."

"The kid's name was Daniel. He committed suicide the next day."

Matt sat silently, thinking about the pain and confusion that Sin must have gone through following such traumatic experiences.

"McKenna is Daniel's dad. I went to the funeral. After the service McKenna came up to me and leaned down to whisper in my ear. He said, `Michael, don't ever think that you'll get away from me. Don't ever fall in love, don't ever cherish anything because I'll be there to take it away'. I thought he was just blowing off steam, threatening me, you know, just to scare me, to punish me for Daniel's death. He wasn't just making idle threats though. He's followed me throughout my life."

Matt turned to look at Sin, horrified. "What do you mean, followed you?"

"I had to pay my own way through college. I worked two jobs and still made my classes. I didn't think much about McKenna. Then I made friends with this girl named Linda, a lesbian who lived on campus. We used to hang out a lot. She was wild, outspoken, loud. She was a lot of fun. She used to drink a lot though. Her car overturned one night and she was thrown out. Two days later she died. When I returned from her funeral I found a note pinned to my door. It said, `I told you not to get attached.' I took it to the cops. They said it could have meant anything. They said Linda had been drinking and driving and that her car wreck as just an accident. They refused to investigate it further."

"And you think McKenna was somehow responsible?"

"At first I wasn't sure. I thought maybe he just knew that Linda and I were friends and took advantage of her death to throw a blow my way."

"You're convinced that she was murdered now though, aren't you?"

Sin nodded. "I moved out of state after I graduated. I met a guy named Greg and shacked up with him. He was found shot to death in his bed. They investigated me for it at first. I was at work, came home and found him dead. There was a large M carved into the wall over his body. Once more I told the cops about McKenna. They said that I was paranoid, that Greg had been involved in a gang, that rival members had come in and shot him down."

"Was he involved in a gang?" Matt asked, frowning into his glass.

"Yes, but that is beside the point. It was McKenna, I'm sure. Again I moved. This time I was more careful. I made no friends. I went to work, I came home. I rented a shitty little house in a poor black part of town. I found a beat up old dog and took it home. I had it three days. I came home to find it nailed to my door. The cops said it was a racial crime against me, that whites weren't welcome in that neighborhood. They ignored the note tucked in the dog's collar that said, `I'm still watching you."

"Shit!" Matt said, shaking his head. He took Sin's empty glass from his hand and refilled it, then handed it back.

"I moved again. This time I was so paranoid that I carried two pistols at all times. I had bars installed over my windows, police bars at the doors. I spoke to no one but my bosses. This Mexican guy started sitting with me at lunch. I didn't speak Spanish and he didn't speak English. I guess he thought I made good company. Twice we traded sandwiches. My boss found him beaten to death at the site one morning. He turned out to be an illegal alien and the cops wouldn't even investigate his murder. Two days later I received a letter. It was just a piece of paper with the letter M in red ink so I knew who had done the poor bastard in."

"Jesus Sin!" Matt was beginning to see why Sin had come so close to killing him.

"Of course I packed up and ran again. I got an apartment in a high security building. That place cost me a fortune. Most of my paycheck went toward rent alone. A couple of years went by and I started to feel safe. I made a few casual friends and nothing happened. I got a cat to keep me company at home. A few more months passed. Then I came home one night and immediately saw that the door had been jimmied. There were pieces of that poor cat all over my apartment. And I mean everywhere. In the refrigerator, the toilet, between the couch cushions, under my pillow, stuffed into my shoes, splattered over the paintings. Her head sat in the middle of my bed with a knife stuck up in her skull. I had given that knife to Daniel on his fifteenth birthday. I didn't even bother to call the cops."

"Fuck me!" Matt exclaimed. "So, you thought that maybe this time this McKenna dude had sent me to get under your skin and then kill you."

"Yeah, pretty much. It's been a long time since he's made a move. I keep waiting to find that poor squid stretched across my door or something but so far nothing."

"You're going to have to kill this guy, you know that don't you Sin?" Matt asked quietly.

Sin shook his head. "No. I already killed his son."

"I thought you said that Daniel committed suicide."

"He did."

"Then you didn't kill him."

"He killed himself because of me."

"Sin, how can you be sure of that? Besides, this McKenna sounds like a freak. It could be that he killed Daniel himself because he couldn't stand a fag anymore than your dad could."

Sin sat up straight, his eyes fixed and staring. The glass in his hand shattered. He didn't seem to notice.

"Jesus Sin!" Matt gasped and reached out to shake him slightly.

Sin looked over at Matt in a daze. "That never occurred to me. God damn it Matt! All these years I've been so steeped in my own guilt that I never really stopped to think about Daniel's death. They said he shot himself, that he had gotten a hold of his father's gun but those guns were kept under lock and key. McKenna wore the key around his neck."

Matt shrugged. "There you have it then."

Sin sat still, staring at nothing once more. Matt got up and went in search of a towel. Sin was still as he had left him when Matt returned and pried the pieces of glass from Sin's hand and wrapped the towel around it.

"I've got to kill that bastard," Sin said as if the thought had possessed him.

Matt frowned. "I shouldn't have said that earlier. I'm not even sure I was serious."

"No, you don't understand Matt. You'll be next if I don't find McKenna first."

Matt laughed. "I doubt you have to worry about that. Hell, we've nearly killed each other. I don't think anyone would mistake us for fast friends."

"You're wrong. That's why I was so mad when you showed up at the job site. I was so afraid that McKenna had a spy there, just waiting for someone to show up that I seemed friendly with. Hell, the second I saw you my dick sprang up like a jack in the box and I thought every guy there would notice it. It was a dangerous thing to do. It could have cost you your life."

"It nearly did anyway," Matt reminded him.

"No, I was mad but I wasn't out to hurt you like I did and I certainly wasn't out to kill you. If I wanted you dead I would have just put a bullet in you."

Matt snorted. "That's reassuring."

"Sorry kid, that's just the way of things. Look, I'm sorry I dumped all this shit on you. Maybe it's for the best though, at least now you know that you could be in danger. I really shouldn't have asked you to come here. That was stupid. I just wanted to see you." Sin leaned back and cradled his hand as if he were dimly aware of pain but not what caused it.

"Yeah, well, I shouldn't have pulled that gun on you. I was rather pissed off when I thought of it. As for me being in danger, you should know by now that I can take care of myself." Matt eyed the towel around Sin's hand. "Maybe we should run you up to the emergency room for stitches."


"Your hand dude. The blood is soaking through the towel." Matt nodded at Sin's hand.

Sin looked down at it surprised and gingerly unwrapped the towel. There were two deep cuts and numerous small ones on the palm. "Shit," Sin grumbled then heaved himself up off the couch and headed for the bathroom. Matt heard water running and then Sin banging around in the medicine cabinet.

"Need some help?" Matt called.

Sin came out with a box of gauze and some tape. "Yeah, wrap this for me." Sin handed him the first aid supplies and Matt wrapped is hand tightly then taped it.

"That needs stitches," Matt said as he finished wrapping and pressed the tape down firm.

"It'll keep. Look, why don't you go on home? I'm done in. That shit at the site was definitely not an accident. I don't know if it was random vandalism or if it's McKenna fucking with me again. Either way I'm too tired to think about it and since no one got hurt it doesn't matter." Sin sank back down on the couch and leaned his head back, eyes closed. Matt looked down at him a long time. Sin was pale, his face drawn, dark rings smudged his eyes and deep worry lines marred his forehead. Matt started to turn away, to leave, but Sin sighed deeply, wearily, and Matt stayed. Suddenly Sin wasn't so tough. He was worn and beaten, alone for so long in a lonely world. Matt reached out and smoothed back a long black strand of hair that had escaped Sin's braid. Sin opened his eyes and stared up at Matt. Slowly Matt leaned forward and placed a kiss upon Sin's lips.

"I don't want to go," he said quietly and Sin cocked his head to the side, studying him.

"You don't know what you're saying," Sin said finally and closed his eyes again.

Matt nudged Sin's knees apart and knelt between them slowly. Sin's eyes opened once more as Matt's head lowered toward Sin's crotch. Sin gasped and caught Matt's hair before he could make contact with the denim over Sin's dick. He pulled Matt's head back up and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Don't do that Matt. I don't want anything from you just because you're feeling sorry for me right now. I don't want your first attempt at that to be wasted on pity. If you aren't hot for it you won't like it, and if you offer it like that, tease me, then I will definitely want it." Sin released Matt's hair and pushed him away gently. "You should go."

Matt shrugged and stood but did not move toward the door. Instead he pulled his shirt off and threw it over a chair. Then he sat down in the chair, pulled off his shoes, socks and belt and tossed them to the floor. Standing once more he picked up the phone. "You hungry?" he asked casually. "I could order pizza."

"Fuck you," Sin growled, his eyes traveling over Matt's bare flesh. Matt shrugged and put the phone back down. Sin stood and turned away from Matt. "I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch if you want to stay."

Again Matt shrugged as if he didn't care. He sat in the spot vacated by Sin and reached for the remote to turn off the stereo and turn on the television. Sin cast him a dark look over his shoulder but Matt pretended not to notice. As Sin disappeared down the hall Matt smiled and glanced at the clock. He figured it would take Sin about twenty minutes before he came back.

There was nothing on the television that Matt wanted to watch so he turned it off and turned the stereo back on. Matt sat and stared at the squid, amazed to find that the thing was able to change colors at will. He leaned his head back and wondered what he had gotten himself into. A little while ago he really had been willing to try to pleasure Sin. He wanted to offer him release, to soothe his wounds. Now though as he thought about exactly what he had offered he realized Sin was right, he wasn't ready to do that. The thought of it turned his stomach. Matt wondered if should just dress and leave. He was just about to reach for his socks when he heard the bedroom door open and froze. He took a deep calming breath and leaned back again then glanced at the clock. Twenty one minutes had passed. Sin appeared in the shadows of the hallway and stopped. He put a hand to the back of his head as if unsure of what to do next, unsure what to say. Finally he shook his head and muttered, "Never mind," before turning away. Slowly Matt rose and followed him. Sin turned to close his door and jumped when he found Matt right behind him. Matt raised a brow at him then pushed passed Sin into the bedroom. The room was dark but Matt managed to stumble to the bed and sit down, his heart pounding in his throat. Sin came to stand over him in the darkness.

"I don't expect anything from you kid," Sin's voice said, deeply, from the shadows of the darkness. Matt nearly sighed in relief but managed to suppress it. "I just..."

"Get in bed and go to sleep Sin," Matt said as he stretched out on the silk sheets. Sin crossed to the other side of the bed rather than crawl over him and Matt felt the mattress shift as Sin laid down. A long length of bare flesh met Matt's arm. He shifted and pulled away a little. Sin said nothing. After a while Sin's breathing became even and slow. Matt carefully sat up, then stood. His jeans were uncomfortable and hot so he peeled them off and delicately lay back down. The sheets were cool on his legs and he sighed. He bunched the pillow up under his head and turned on his side. Before him in the darkness he could sense Sin's back turned toward him. Matt reached out tentatively and placed a palm flat on Sin's shoulder blade, his touch feather light. The flesh was cool and smooth. Matt let his hand trail lower, over ribs to the dip of the lower back, and then withdrew his hand. Matt breathed deeply and savored the scent that was Sin. Even his sheets held the scent of leather as if Sin wore the jacket so much that its oils had seeped into his very skin. Matt reached out again, touched the shoulder. Sin grasped Matt's hand and rolled over onto his back, keeping Matt's hand in contact with his flesh so that it came to rest on his chest. Matt stilled, surprised. Sin released his hand and lay silently. Matt took a calming breath and tentatively let his hand wander over Sin's flesh. He found a nipple, tiny and nearly flat, felt each rib as his fingers trailed lower, found the ridge of hip bone and the dip toward the thigh. Matt snatched his hand away, blushing in the darkness like a virgin


"Don't be afraid," Sin whispered.

"I'm not!" Matt denied too vehemently. Sin chuckled softly, bringing the blush higher in Matt's checks. Uncomfortable and embarrassed Matt turned his back to Sin. Sin's fingertips trailed down Matt's spine and Matt shuddered. Sin withdrew his hand and turned once more on his side. Matt lay staring at the darkness, still feeling the lingering sensation of Sin's fingers and wondering if Sin could feel the lingering tingle of his hand. He shifted a little, his cock hard and hurting. He wondered if Sin was just as hard. He lay there several more minutes, his curiosity eating at him. Finally he sighed in frustration and flipped onto his other side so he was once more facing Sin's back. This time Matt let his hand follow his curiosity, his fingers trailing slowly down the slick chest, the firm flat stomach, the tantalizing hollow of hip. His hand stopped. Sin groaned and ground his teeth and Matt realized that his touch was torture for Sin, driving him crazy. A flash of burning lust hit Matt hard, rolling over him in a torrent. His hand drifted over and his knuckles brushed Sin's erection, felt the silkiness of him, the soft throbbing. Sin lay utterly still, his breathing raspy. Matt gathered his courage and wrapped his hand around Sin's shaft. Sin gasped sharply and rolled his hips a little, encouraging Matt to do more. For a moment Matt's hand remained still, accustoming itself to the feel of a cock other than his own. It did not take long. He and Sin were nearly identical in length and thickness. Matt stroked once, felt Sin shiver, stroked again. Sin's breathing was harsh, his chest rising and falling sharply.

"Does it turn you on so much just to have me touch you?" Matt asked, fascinated.

"Yes!" Sin hissed, the word coming through his teeth as if he were in pain.

"Why?" Matt asked and stroked again, finding pleasure in Sin's discomposure.

"Because I've dreamed of you touching me like this since I first laid eyes on you in the bus, with your wet clothes clinging to you, showing every muscle, your wet hair plastered around your face, your teeth chattering just so that your lips...ah your lips..." Sin's words came almost dreamily with a deeper edge that sounded like a confession.

Matt smiled in the darkness. So, he wasn't the only one who was obsessed. Sin's hips rolled again as if he were begging for more. Matt released him and heard Sin make a sound that was suspiciously like a sob. Matted scooted closer so that his body pressed against Sin's, his cock digging into the side of Sin's thigh. Sin reached for him but Matt brushed his hand away and was answered with a grinding of teeth. Once more Matt reached out and grasped Sin's dick in his hand. He leaned forward and found Sin's mouth, his lips tasting of the whiskey that he had drank earlier. Matt pushed his tongue into Sin's mouth as he began to stroke once more and Sin moaned into his mouth. Matt liked the feeling of power he felt, the power to rock a man like Sin to the core of passion's desire. Sin was arching against him, straining, pleading with his body. Matt ground his hips against Sin's thigh in time the stroking of his hand. Matt broke the kiss, came up for air, lowered his head and nipped Sin lightly on the shoulder, on the neck. Sin's hand came up to trail light fingers through Matt's chest hair, up to his shoulder, then wrapped in Matt's hair, Sin's breathing hot and labored.

"Matt, don't stop..." Sin gasped between breaths but Matt already knew that Sin was near his peak. Matt added pressure, stroking Sin with the same strokes he would have used on himself. He covered Sin's mouth once more and swallowed his groans as he felt Sin cum in his hand. Sin's body shuddered, jerked, lay still at last, his breaths coming in heaving gulps. Matt lay pressed up against him a moment, his hand still cupping him, warm and wet. Sin shifted, Matt could feel him reaching out over the bed to somewhere in the darkness and then he relaxed back and pressed something toward Matt. "Here," Sin said, still a bit breathy and Matt found the feel of terry cloth pressed against his arm. He reached for the towel and used it to wipe his hand. His own dick was still hard and throbbing but he tried to ignore it as he tossed the towel to the floor and rolled onto his back, feeling unsatisfied but unwilling to ask for what he needed. Sin lay beside him a moment more, his breathing no longer sounding like a winded runner, and Matt could feel how his heartbeat was slowing through the ribs pressed against his arm. Then Matt felt him shift, felt Sin's hair slide across his body as Sin loomed over him, slid down and pulled away his underwear, found Matt's dick with his mouth. Matt squeezed his eyes shut as Sin quickly and expertly brought him to a groaning climax. Now it was Matt that panted and wheezed, waiting for the rush to subside. As his body relaxed he slowly slipped over into the edge of sleep. His last waking thoughts were of leather and sea salt.