Indulgence ©

By Jack Llawayllynn

Chapter 5: Friends?

There was a terrible pain in his arm. Matt slowly opened his eyes and tried to assess where he was. Turning his head he encountered a mass of black hair. Matt sighed and tried to free his arm. Sin was laying on it, snoring quite loudly and contentedly. Slowly Matt inched it out from under Sin's back and tried to massage the feeling of pins and needles away. Finally it quit stinging and Matt raised his head and glanced down. Sin's legs were entwined with his in an amazing mass of hairy shins and knobby knees. Matt dropped his head back to the pillow. He hoped Miss Sylvia never saw scenes such as this in her dreams!

"Miss Sylvia!" Matt groaned aloud, smacking his forehead with the heel of his hand. He was supposed to have gone to see her yesterday and had forgotten all about it because of Sin's note. Sin snorted and rolled over, his arm snaking around Matt's chest. Matt pushed the arm away gently and rolled out of bed onto the floor. He crawled around until he located his underwear and jeans then staggered to the bathroom and took a hot shower. The water revived him and by the time he came out of the bathroom toweling his hair he felt almost human again. Sin was still snoring, his mouth open, his long limbs spread out across the bed. Matt rolled up the towel and snapped it against Sin's leg.

"Fuck!" Sin gasped as he bolted into a sitting position. He looked at Matt's grinning face blearily then flung himself back down with a groan. "What the hell time is it?"

Matt glanced around for a clock, found a digital alarm clock face down beside the bedside table and righted it. "It's eight thirty," Matt said cheerfully.

"Fuck you," Sin groaned and pulled his pillow over his head.

"Yeah, yeah," Matt said grinning. "I gotta get outta here. I told Miss Sylvia I wouldn't worry her anymore and then I forgot to even call her last night."

"Who's Miss Sylvia?" Sin asked, his voice muffled and small under the pillow.

"An elderly lady that I usually visit on Friday evenings. She's real nice, rambles a lot and reads people's auras. That sort, you know."

Sin grunted under his pillow.

"She warned me about you before I even met you. Warned Trish too about us splitting up but neither of us listened to Miss Sylvia. We thought she was full of shit."

Sin pushed the pillow aside. "You broke up with Trish?" he asked, lifting his head from the mattress. His hair stood up in an unholy black halo and hung in long tangles over his shoulders.

"Wednesday," Matt said with a shrug.

Sin put his hands on the mattress and pushed himself up. "Oh fucking hell!" he gasped and then ground his teeth audibly. Matt looked over at him, saw him clutching his injured hand, saw the new blood seeping through the bandage.

"Shit Sin! What the hell did you do?" Matt crossed to him and sat down on the edge of the bed and took Sin's hand in his, unwrapping the bandages carefully. "There's still a shard of glass in there I think. You'll have to go to the doctor."

"God dammit!" Sin spat out grumpily.

Matt wrapped the hand again and eyed Sin. "You will go, won't you?"

"I hate doctors."

"So? I hate them too but I had to go after you left me broken and bleeding in the bathtub."

Sin looked stricken. "I'm really sorry about that Matt."

"Sure you fucking are. See this scar?" Matt fingered the white line on his forehead. "You gave me that when you slammed my head into the wall after you broke two of my ribs and my arm. See this one?" Matt turned his head and lifted his hair to reveal another scar. "You gave me that one when you slammed into me and knocked me backwards into the tub. I nearly bled to fucking death."

"I did all that? I didn't know." Sin looked away, his brow furrowed.

"You didn't know `cause you didn't stick around and then you didn't see me again until I kicked your ass at The Red Table. Speaking of The Red Table, who was that pretty blonde you were with?"

Sin turned to look at him again and shrugged. "Her name is Liza, or so she says. She's a hooker that hangs out on 5th Street. Sometimes I pick her up and take her out to eat."

Matt raised an eyebrow and Sin raised his hands. "Just dinner, nothing more, I swear."

Matt laughed. "As if I'd care."

Now it was Sin who raised his brows. "Wouldn't you?"

"Of course not. This is just...just physical, you know."

Sin didn't answer.

"I've got to get to Miss Sylvia's. Oh shit, it's Saturday morning. She'll be sitting with Mrs. Paterson until ten thirty. I know, why don't you get dressed and I'll ride with you to the hospital."

Sin scowled. "I don't need a babysitter."

"That's not what I meant. I thought that after the doctor stitches that up we could go over to Miss Sylvia's together. I think you might like her. Unless you have other plans."

"No, I don't." Sin flopped back down on the bed. "Not since you woke me up anyway. I usually sleep late on Saturdays."

"Suit yourself," Matt said as he stood and headed for the living room. "Hey Sin," he called, "that squid is turning colors again."

"He wants to be fed," Sin yelled back. "Just ignore him. I'll feed him before we go."

Sin showered while Matt finished dressing. Sin came out of the bedroom with his hair slicked down his head, his hand dripping fresh blood. "I guess I need to skip the extras and just go on and get this over with," he grumbled.

"It's awfully cold to go out with that much wet hair," Matt said, eyeing the wet stain spreading down the back of Sin's T-shirt from his hair as he quickly rewrapped Sin's hand.

"Fuck it, I'll keep."

By the time they reached the emergency room Sin was shuttering from the cold, his teeth chattering loudly. The heater in the taxi had been a joke and there was a biting wind on the sidewalk that chapped the skin, reddened the nose, and creeped its way up inside even Sin's leather jacket. Matt sat down in a hard plastic chair while Sin filled out the necessary papers then came to sit by him. Luckily there were not a lot of people waiting, just a few old timers with hacking coughs and kids with earaches and hurt knees. After about an hour a nurse called Sin's name and he rose, then turned back when Matt didn't follow. "You coming?" he asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah," Sin turned to the nurse. "It's okay if my brother comes back isn't it?"

The nurse nodded and Matt cast Sin a sidelong glance as they followed her back to a small sterile room. "The doctor will be with you in a minute," she said as she left, leaving the door slightly ajar.

"Sure, more like an hour probably," Sin grumbled as he hopped up on the cot in the room and Matt sat down in yet another hard plastic chair.

"So just how old is this friend of yours that we're going to see?" Sin asked Matt.

"Eighty three. She's mostly blind but hears well."

"Ah." Sin nodded and looked around, bored.

"Katie," came a voice from the hall, "Which room is Mr. Synn in?"

Sin smiled and shook his head. "It's Dr. Jamison," he told Matt. Matt stiffened. Dr. Jamison had been the name of the lady doctor that had patched him up after Sin beat him.

"He's in 102 doctor," came the reply.

"How bad is he this time?" the doctor asked.

Sin laughed out loud and winked at Matt. "Knows me well, she does."

"Just a cut hand," came the reply from Katie. There was a snort, then a pause. "Oh, and doctor, he has his brother with him."

"I just bet he does," came the droll response. After another moment or two there were soft footsteps in the hall and the doctor entered. She cast an assessing eye over Sin who was grinning like the devil, then turned to face Matt. Her eyes widened slightly, and then narrowed. "I should have guessed," she muttered darkly.

"I need stitches Doc," Sin held up the bandaged hand.

The doctor put her clipboard down and went to him, unwrapping the hand deftly. She looked at it a long moment. "Yes Michael, you need stitches...and a lobotomy."

Sin barked a laugh. "Doc knows me rather well," he said to Matt.

"Inside and out I'd say," she grumbled.

Matt didn't say anything. He had seen the look in the doctor's eye, knew she recognized him right away. It was also plain that she knew exactly what kind of relationship existed between him and Sin. Apparently she knew quite a lot about Sin.

"Doc's patched me up more times than I can count," Sin said to Matt as the doctor rummaged around in the cabinets for supplies. "I have a tendency to end up here."

"That's an understatement," the doctor said as she turned back to the table. "Seems to me you get beat up an awful lot, the last time was pretty bad."

"Blame Matt," Sin said, waving a hand toward Matt and Matt wanted to jump up and strangle him.

Dr. Jamison glanced over at Matt and he flushed. "And am I to assume Michael," she asked, "that you are innocent of any blame?"

Sin grinned evilly. "I'm not responsible for any of my past behavior. I need a lobotomy, remember?"

The doctor snorted as she took out a long needle and began to fill it from a small vial. She injected into Sin's hand and showed no signs of pity when he winced.

"Besides," Sin continued absently. "Matt has forgiven me my past fits of temper, haven't you Matt?"

Matt's face paled then flushed again as the doctor's eyes bored into his. He looked away first, extremely uncomfortable with the unspoken thoughts written in the woman's keen eyes.

"Well?" Sin asked, turning to raise a brow at Matt. "You have forgiven me for breaking your arm, haven't you?"

"Shut up Sin!" Matt snapped, wishing like hell he had remained in the waiting room.

"Alright, I'm going to have to dig around in there a little to remove that shard of glass. You shouldn't feel anything but pressure now but you may not want to watch." Dr. Jamison pulled out a long pair of tweezers and bent over Sin's hand. Sin didn't look away but watched fascinated. Finally she was able to seize the sliver of glass and dropped it with a small tinkle into a metal bowl then she began to stitch up the larger gashes. "You should have come last night," she said scolding.

Sin shrugged "We were too busy."

Matt made a strangled sound and half stood to leave.

"Sit!" Dr. Jamison snapped and Matt dropped back down in the chair. "Stay," she ordered, "I'll be back in a minute," she added after the final stitch. She gave him a stern look as she left and returned shortly with a new file in her hand. She jerked her head toward the door. "Out Michael," she commanded. Sin opened his mouth as if he would protest but finally shrugged, hopped off the cot and went out into the hall, closing the door behind him. The doctor flipped through the pages in her hand then looked up at Matt as she laid the file aside and leaned her back against the counter along the wall, her arms crossing across her breasts.

"I see that you work for an attorney," she said quietly.

"Yes." Matt stared at her, wondering why she had sent Sin out.

"You would know a lot about doctor/patient confidentiality then."

"Some," Matt nodded.

"Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. I'm going to break some laws, okay? If you sue me I'll lose my license, my job. I'm a good doctor, I like what I do, but I believe in letting people know when they are risking their health. Michael Synn is trouble Mr. Darvins. You're playing with fire. I've seen him more times than I care to remember. He gets into a lot of fights. He's been shot before, did you know that?"

"No. He didn't tell me." Matt frowned and wondered why Sin had not told him.

"See, I'm putting my neck on the line here. If you tell Michael that I told you these things he could sue me blind. Thing is, I can see that you're in deep with this guy. Not two months ago you come in here beat all to hell and Michael just admitted he was the one who did it. One of these days one of you may end up killing the other, whether you mean to or not."

"I think we're past beating on each other now," Matt said, looking away, no longer even trying to pretend that the doctor didn't know they were sexually active.

"Are you using protection with this guy?"

Matt swallowed, his face flaming with mortification. He couldn't look at her, couldn't answer her. All he could manage was a slight shake of the head.

Dr. Jamison sighed deeply. "Surely you've heard of AIDS?"

Matt's head jerked up. "Sin...I mean Michael, isn't infected is he?"

"Not to my knowledge. I do know that he has himself tested every three months. That's often. It's good to know he tests but it's disturbing to me that he needs to test so often. Are you exclusive with him?"

"I...I..." Matt glanced around the room. "For the moment," he finished lamely.

"For the moment. Right. What about him? How many partners does he have?"

"I don't know," Matt admitted.

"Find out. If you are going to go about this affair you should at least know how much of a risk you are taking. This is serious Mr. Darvins. It could cost you your life." The doctor pushed away from the counter and turned to look down at his chart again. "You're young, healthy, good looking. Don't throw it away carelessly, especially on a hellion like Michael. I know he has a powerful personality but don't let it blind you to the facts of life. Use a condom, protect yourself. That's all I wanted to say."

Matt muttered a half-hearted thanks and escaped from the room as quickly as possible. He found Sin outside the hospital smoking a cigarette. Matt brushed past him and kept walking.

"Hey kid! Wait up!" Sin called, stretching his long legs to catch up to Matt and match his pace. "What did the Doc want?"

Matt turned and jabbed a fist into Sin's mouth, a short, sharp jab that whipped Sin's head back but didn't fell him. Sin put a hand to his mouth in utter amazement and drew away bloody fingers, his lip growing fat.

"She told me to use a condom, you worthless fuck!" Matt spat out.

Sin started to laugh, a deep rumbling that shook his shoulders. Matt scowled fiercely and turned to stalk away. Sin soon caught up with him, dabbing at his lip with a bandanna from his pocket.

"Good ole Doc, always trying to save the strays," Sin chuckled.

Matt stopped and turned on Sin. "Is that what I am Sin? A stray?"

Sin frowned and stared at him. "No," he said finally, his mirth gone. "You're not just another stray, though I wish you were."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sin shrugged. "I just..." Sin's eyes focused on something behind Matt and widened. He grabbed Matt's arm, turned him forcefully and dragged him back the way they had been coming from.

"What is it?" Matt asked, glancing back over his shoulder.

"Don't look!" Sin hissed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Estaban."


"Don't ask, just walk."

"Sin!" a strong voice called out and Sin stopped in his tracks muttering, "Shit!" Slowly he turned, bringing Matt around with him. A young man strode towards them through the crowd. Sin whispered, "Watch my back partner."

Matt laughed. "You afraid of him?" he asked eyeing the man. He was short, a good head shorter than Matt, and slim of build. He had a shock of straight black hair that fell over his forehead and brushed his glowering eyebrows. His eyes were black, narrowed angrily, and fringed with thick black lashes. Matt thought the ladies would find him handsome, if he weren't glaring so. Sin stepped slightly behind Matt's left shoulder.

"You're damn straight I'm afraid of him. He broke my leg in three places last time I saw him," Sin whispered.

Matt's eyes widened in disbelief but Estaban was nearly to them now so he didn't say anything.

"What do you want Estaban?" Sin asked warily.

"Thirty bucks," the man answered firmly.

"What?" Sin asked, shaking his head as if he hadn't heard right.

"Thirty dollars Sin. You owe me thirty dollars for the tab you ran up at Chico's and didn't pay. I had to pay it for you." Estaban glared at him hotly.

"I was carried off on a stretcher! I would have paid it if you hadn't karate kicked me in the leg half a dozen times."

"That's beside the point. It was your bill, you drank the booze, and you owe me for the bill."

"Fine," Sin said, holding up his hands. He nudged Matt's elbow. "Pay the man Matt, I don't have any cash on me."

Matt raised an eyebrow but then shrugged, pulled out his wallet and counted out the bills. He handed the money over to Estaban. Estaban eyed him head to toe, then toe to head.

"You're not too bad," Estaban said, giving Matt a crooked smile. "You should stop hanging out with this loser. Here, take my card. When you get tired of being pushed around you call me."

Matt took the card, speechless. Estaban started to turn away then turned back. "You give Sin that fat lip?" he asked Matt.

"Uh, yes, actually," Matt admitted.

"Good for you. Don't give him no quarter or he'll end up killing you. Don't lose that card though, eventually you'll want something a little less electric." Estaban flashed a perfectly charming smile then waved an elegant hand over his shoulder and strode off with arrogant strides. Matt watched after him in stunned amazement. Sin waited until Estaban disappeared into the crowd then jerked the card from Matt's hand and shredded it before tossing it into the gutter.

"Fucking little prick!" Sin hissed as he stomped away and Matt had to hurry to catch up.

"What was up with all that? He really break your leg?" Matt asked as he scurried in Sin's wake.

"He's a black belt in something, karate or judo or some such."

"And you pissed him off?"

"He led me on. He comes across as charming then turns into a wolf. He's a perfectly evil little man." Sin was scowling, his strides long and sulky. Matt laughed at him.

"So what did you do to make him want to kick your ass?" Matt asked, intentionally trying to provoke Sin.

"None of your damn business!"

"You didn't try the same type of stunt on him that you did on me did you?"

"I thought he was straight," Sin muttered, not answering the question.

"Wait, you thought he was straight, so you made a move on him?"


"And when you figured out that he actually was interested in you, you then lost interest in him?" Matt asked, shaking his head, perplexed.

"Pretty much. We saw each other for a while, he got on my nerves and I said some things...things I shouldn't have said. He already knew about me, from what source I do not know, but he knew my M.O. and was quick to teach me a lesson."

"Too bad for you. He looks like the type you'd go for."

Sin stopped and gave him a flat stare. "Like you'd know the type I'd go for?"

Matt shrugged. "He's got flare."

"Yes," Sin admitted, "he does. He's from Madrid, you know. Quite...tantalizing."

"Until he kicked your ass," Matt said as he started walking again.

"Fuck you. The guy's a jerk anyway. I can't believe he gave you his card, right in front of me, like as if he were taunting me." Sin matched his strides with Matt's.

"Miss Sylvia's place is right around the corner. You still up to going with me?"

"Yeah. Oh here..." Sin stopped, pulled out his wallet and handed Matt thirty dollars.

"I thought you said you didn't have any cash on you," Matt said accusingly as he took the money. "What's up with that?"

Sin just shrugged. They walked the rest of the way to Miss Sylvia's in silence, Matt thinking about the scene and wondering about Sin's strange behavior. He almost suspected Sin of being possessive and trying to show him off in front of Estaban. Why else would he ask Matt to hand out money when he could have paid his debt out of his own wallet if not to show Estaban that Matt jumped when Sin said jump? And why had he been so upset by Estaban giving him his card? Surely he knew Matt would never call the man. Matt looked over at Sin and saw him glowering, his lips moving slightly as if he were cussing to himself. He wondered if maybe he should end this thing with Sin, if maybe it were becoming a bit too much like a real relationship. After all, he was only in it to satisfy his lust, right?

"This is it," Matt said as he came out of his reverie. They climbed the two small steps out front and Matt pounded on the door. There was some shuffling inside before it opened to reveal Miss Sylvia, a half-grown kitten in her hands.

"Well, well, so my wayward son returns," she said smiling. "And with a demon in tow. Do come in."

Sin glanced at Matt doubtfully but Matt could only give him an uncertain grimace. Why Miss Sylvia referred to Sin as a demon he didn't know. They stepped into the dimness and Matt immediately began to switch on the lamps. Miss Sylvia waved a hand toward the sitting room and told them to sit while she went to fix tea.

"She doesn't like me," Sin said, his face puzzled.

"She didn't say that. Besides, she's had dreams about you," Matt said quietly.

"About me?" Sin whispered back.

"Yes. She warned me about you before we even met. Not specifically, of course, but she described you to me later."

A young black cat came tearing across the back of the couch with a tabby in hot pursuit. Sin and Matt both leaned forward to avoid the flying claws. The cats leapt from the couch to Miss Sylvia's chair then down to the floor where they rolled, clawing and biting before taking off towards the kitchen. "Quit that!" came Miss Sylvia's stern voice. "Bad kitties. Scat! Shoo!" The cats came barreling once more into the sitting room to chase each other around the furniture. Miss Sylvia came in carrying the tea tray. "They're horrible," she said as she set the tray down. "I don't get a moment's peace. I have three of the young ones left. I just can't find homes for them. You don't want one, do you young man?"

Sin shook his head, "No ma'am. I have a squid."

Miss Sylvia looked to Matt. "Did he say he had a squid?"

Matt laughed nodding. "It's in a big tank. It's really rather interesting."

Miss Sylvia shook her head as she poured the tea into three china cups then sat down. She peered at them both over the rim of her cup as she sipped. "So," she said at last, "this is your dark lover that keeps appearing in my dreams." Both Matt and Sin flinched as if they had suddenly been stung by hornets.

"I...uh..." Matt stuttered and cast his gaze about the room.

"And you were pissed about the doctor," Sin muttered darkly under his breath.

"This is Mike," Matt said, not able to meet the old woman's hazy eyes.

"That isn't the name you call him by though, is it?" Miss Sylvia asked quietly.

"No." Matt didn't elaborate even though he could tell that Miss Sylvia was waiting for him to. There was a long silence in which both Sin and Matt shifted uncomfortably.

"Alright," Miss Sylvia said with a sigh, "here is what I see. Matt, your aura is much calmer now. The confusion is still there, but not as great and certainly not as troubling. You have conquered the rage that was tormenting you but still you must watch your temper. There is danger in your future, for both you and your friend. There is death there too, though whose I do not know. I don't think it will be either of you, just someone you both know. Heck, could be me."

"Don't say that!" Matt gasped and she laughed lightly, teasingly.

"Now you," she said shifting her attention to Sin, "you are trouble, always have been. Your aura is shadowed and stained. That means that someone is following you and has been for a long time. They are out to destroy you. You must watch for signs of danger. You may be putting Matt in harm's way without meaning to. Your temper is your biggest downfall, followed closely by pride. You are a dangerous man but do not underestimate your lover. He is more likely to snap and kill than you are."

Sin looked over at Matt askance. Matt shrugged and sipped his tea.

"Why did you call me a demon?" Sin asked Miss Sylvia.

"Because you are trouble. You take stupid risks, you draw other people into your follies. You are a mischief maker, a demon. You're cute though, I'll give you that." She winked an old wrinkled eye at him and Matt sputtered in his tea. "Now," she said as she handed Matt a napkin, "tell me what the two of you have been up to."

Sin seemed vastly relieved when they left and hour later. "She's kind of spooky isn't she?"

"Miss Sylvia? No, I don't think she's spooky. I think she's a sweet old lady," Matt said as he stepped forward to wave down a taxi. A passing car zipped past too close to the curb and the tires sprayed Matt in gutter filth. "Ah fuck!" Matt cursed, shaking nasty water from his finger tips. Sin snickered and stepped up to open the door of a taxi that pulled to the curb for them. They climbed in and looked at each other. "Where to?" Matt asked, brushing at the brown stains down his chest.

"My place I guess," Sin said casually.

"My place is closer and I really need to go home and change clothes and get another shower."

"Yeah, you stink dude."

They made the ride in silence. The cab stopped in front of Matt's building and they both climbed out, Sin handing the cabby the required amount. They rode the elevator up, neither speaking, each comfortable in the other's silence.

"Know where your keys are this time?" Sin asked as they approached Matt's door. Matt shot him a dirty look and pulled the keys out of his pocket and opened the door. Inside Sin made himself at home, throwing his jacket across a chair and heading for the whiskey bottle as Matt went off to shower. For the first time in weeks Matt didn't lock the bathroom door. He was barely in the shower five minutes when the light went off.

"Damn it Sin, I can't see," Matt complained irritably.

"That is the point," Sin responded in the darkness.

"I hope you don't intend to try the same stunt as last time," Matt said, his voice holding a stern note of warning.

"Not at all," Sin assured him, stepping into the shower under the spray with Matt in the darkness.

"Sin..." Matt started, not at all sure he wanted Sin there with him. In fact he was on the verge of ordering Sin not only out of the shower, but out of his apartment entirely. Sin's hand found Matt's arm and he pulled him closer so that their naked bodies touched, slick and warm from the water. Matt stood impassive, still unsure. Sin began to run his fingers up and down Matt's chest.

"What's wrong Matt? Can't get it up without some violence?" Sin teased in the blackness.

"Come on, Sin, I'm trying to shower here," Matt said a little resentfully.

Sin chuckled in the darkness. His hand rested lightly on the back of Matt's neck then pulled him forward suddenly and forcefully. Matt felt Sin's teeth sink into his neck like a vampire come to drain his blood. Matt gasped and pulled back, jerked away from Sin and nearly fell. He steadied himself with a hand against the wall, his breath now coming quickly.

"Jesus!" Matt spat as he put a hand to his neck. He couldn't tell if he was bleeding or not. Sin advanced in the darkness, pressing Matt against the shower wall, his hand now wrapping around Matt's hard dick.

"Just as I thought," He chuckled in Matt's ear. "All it takes is a little pain."

"A little?" Matt asked, but he wasn't resisting now as Sin stroked him. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, the darkness behind his lids no deeper than the darkness of the bathroom. Suddenly Sin stepped away, removing all contact, all touch. Matt's eyes snapped open but he could see nothing. "Sin?"

"Yes Matt?"

"Why did you stop?"

"Give me your hand," Sin ordered and Matt reached out blindly. Sin caught his hand and guided it to his own cock, hard and throbbing under Matt's palm. Matt stepped in closer, his body once more touching Sin's. The shower poured water down over them, pounding against their scalps, wetting their lips as Matt leaned in to kiss Sin, to savor his hunger. Sin's hand found Matt's cock once more and they stood for a long while, each stroking the other, their mouths fused, tongues battling. Once again it was Sin who pulled away. Matt grunted in frustration as the petting ceased, the contact was broken.

"Sin?" this time Matt's voice was hoarse, breathless. His hand searched the darkness, found Sin's arm. Sin stepped aside, brushed by him and turned so that his back was now against the shower wall. Matt turned with him and leaned into him, pressing Sin against the wall, his teeth finding and gently raking Sin's neck, his shoulders, his chest. Suddenly Sin's hand was on top of Matt's head, gently pushing downward, silently guiding him, silently pleading. Matt allowed it, kneeling slowly, taking his time in working down Sin's body. Matt felt his flesh shiver as his tongue ran across Sin's hip bone, traced the hollow. Sin groaned above him, his hand still on Matt's head but no longer guiding, just resting there. Matt felt a rush of trepidation, of fear even, as he hovered with Sin's dick wrapped tightly in his hand. His own cock burned with the need to be touched, to be stroked and teased. Very slowly he leaned forward and touched his lips to the swollen tip of Sin's cock. He felt Sin begin to shiver, felt him lean back harder into the wall. Matt opened his mouth and took Sin past his lips, past his teeth, then pulled away. Sin's hand on his head was tensing, clutching into a fist in his hair.

Matt hovered again, still unsure. He was surprised to find that he could hardly taste Sin at all, the water running over them washed most away. Matt licked his lips, nervous. He felt Sin arch slightly away from the wall. Matt's own desire had not lessened, he still yearned for friction but still he hesitated. Suddenly Sin's hand wrenched painfully in his hair, pushing his head forward. Matt pulled back, feeling threatened and belittled. Sin hissed in vexation above him and released Matt's hair. Matt stood and took a step back. Sin followed, his hands touching Matt lightly, fingers on chest, then back, then thighs. Sin's fingertips brushed Matt's dick. His erection had started to fail when the fear came but now it sprang to life once more even though Matt willed it not to. Sin pulled him close, turned him so that Matt could once more lean into the wall. Sin did not hesitate but slid down Matt's body, his mouth sure and firm as he took in Matt's cock, sucking and teasing, swallowing and stroking. Matt's mouth fell open, his head lolled against the shower wall. He was dimly aware that the shower water was getting cold but it could not compare to the sensations that Sin was pulling forth. Matt groaned and pushed, Sin taking him all. Matt wanted to cum in his throat as he had done before, he wanted to feel that rush, that wonder, but suddenly Sin pulled away and left Matt hanging on the edge, weak and gasping. Matt ground his teeth, reaching. Sin grasped him and spun them, reversing their positions once more.

"Fair is fair," Sin whispered into his ear and licked the lobe then took it between his lips and sucked. Matt flinched and backed up a step. He was aching for release now, it was a throbbing pain in his balls, deep in his groin. He could finish himself he knew but he didn't want to. He wanted to press against the back of Sin's throat, wanted to feel the constriction of Sin's swallowing. He wanted to wrap his fist in Sin's long hair and force his head forward. Nearly blind with lust Matt dropped to his knees once more. He took Sin's cock in his fist, stroked, leaned forward and took as much as he could in his mouth, all the while thinking of Sin going down on him. He tired to immolate what he wanted Sin to do to him, tried to make Sin feel what he wanted to feel himself. Matt quickly learned that he could not swallow, did not know how. Sin put a hand to his hair, pulled a little, urged him not to try too much too quickly. Matt didn't want to stop, he wanted Sin to reach the peak that he wanted to reach himself. It was suddenly and obsessive goal, to make Sin cum and make him love it. Matt nibbled, sucked, licked, being careful all the while not to drag his teeth, not to cause unpleasant amounts of pain. Sin was shivering, groaning, but neither of them noticed the icy chill of the water that now ran over them. Sin pulled slightly at Matt's hair, warning him. Matt didn't stop at fist but suddenly the fear returned, the uncertainty and Matt pulled away as Sin began to cum, the warm sticky jism hitting Matt's chin and neck. Matt turned away, into the spray of the cold water, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed.

Sin reached down and caught Matt under the arms, hefting him to his feet. He leaned past Matt, fumbled with the faucet, got the water turned off and pressed Matt back against the wall, going down on him once more before Matt could flee as Sin could sense he wanted to do. He swallowed Matt hard, digging his fingers into Matt's thigh. Matt started to push him away but Sin tightened his grip, let his teeth drag slightly as if threatening to bite. Matt quivered, leaned back, wrapped his hand in Sin's wet hair, the strands clinging to his fingers, entwining his knuckles. Sin worked fast, bringing Matt to a heady climax that had his head rolling against the shower wall, his knees shaking. Sin swallowed, pulled back, slid his body up against Matt's as he rose, his hands firm on Matt's ribs as they traveled up. Sin leaned against him hard, sandwiching Matt against the wall as Matt gasped, ribs heaving, regaining his lost breath. In the darkness Sin placed his mouth near Matt's ear. "Tell me you liked it," he demanded.

Matt was silent, still not recovered, still seeking to still his pounding heart.

"Tell me!" Sin demanded, leaning harder against Matt, making it nearly impossible for Matt to expand his lungs.

"I..." Matt gasped then shook his head.

"Don't lie to me," Sin growled. "Tell me you liked sucking my dick. Tell me how much you liked it."

"Sin...I can't..." Matt was struggling to breath.

"Say it Matt," Sin whispered, still pressing, so hard, so close that Matt couldn't tell where his flesh ended and Sin's began.

"I liked it," Matt wheezed out reluctantly and Sin eased the pressure but did not back away.

"Good boy," Sin said gently, his hand stroking Matt's neck. Finally Sin stepped away and fumbled his way out of the shower. He didn't turn the light on but he left the door ajar so that a little light shone in from the hall. Matt remained leaning against the wall for a long moment before sliding down to sit on the cold tile. Shivering, teeth chattering, he listened as Sin dressed and left. Matt felt dirty again, used. Why did Sin always have to rub it in, toy with his emotions? Why couldn't he just let Matt have a little pleasure without reminding him that he had allowed himself to be bullied, degraded? It was a long time before he dragged himself out into the bathroom but still he did not turn on the light. He could not bear the thought of facing himself in a mirror.