From: romanticiser@geocities.com (romanticiser) Subject: New Story: Love Song (M/M) Date: Sun, 04 Jan 1998 07:10:35 GMT Approved: moderated.stories@bigfoot.com This story is complete and utter fiction - 100% fantasy. All main characters, environments and locations are fictitious. Any resemblance to people alive or dead is purely coincidental. All famous names are added for the story line and provide no assurances of approval or condemnation to the subject of gay sex. That over with this story is a love story between two men of consenting age and contains sex descriptions of a gratuitous nature. If this story, or your reading it, is illegal or offensive then you are directed to delete it immediately. If you got this far then either your persistent and on your own or this just might be 'right up your street'. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Acknowledgements, critiques, flames or any other email can be written directly to romanticiser@geocities.com. Love Song Romanticiser 1997. Part 1 of ? In the world you sometimes wonder how and why things happen. A silly coincidence or an extremely minor occurrence and something big is sparked off, the flap of an insect's wing causing a hurricane in the Atlantic. This story is about one little occurrence, just a minor mistake that ended up with me having a career - I'd never thought about, leaving home, discovering my sexuality and .... (well why not read it) Before we start I should tell you a little about myself. My name is David and when this all started I was 19, living at home with my parents on a farm just outside of Worrel, a backwater village in the Cheshire countryside in England. Childhood on a farm is one of the greatest ways to grow up even though at the time I moaned about my chores, my homework, getting up at 5 in the morning. The one hour journey to school, the fact I lived no where near any of my school friends. In all things I was probably a normal teenager, self centred, over active, loud mouthed and shy. By the age of 16, I had mostly sorted out that girls didn't really interest me, but to be honest men didn't either. Like all teenagers, sex or more the thought of sex appealed but I had no jack off fantasies of either sex, it was more a biological function, cold and scientific. I enjoyed climaxing but then doesn't everybody. You could say I was asexual. Chapter 1: Morning has broken. I remember that day so clearly, I don't receive many letters and never one as odd as this one. I was just coming out of the cow shed and heading back to the house for my second shower of the day. I had just hand milked one of our ailing fresians, we couldn't use the machine, because of possible contamination, but she had to be milked or it could kill her. I don't quite know what had disturbed her but I had ended up flat on my back lying in - well let's just say I was desperate for a shower. The bright red Post Office van was parked as usual by the kitchen door. Harry, our postman always made sure we were last on his morning round so that he could join us for breakfast at 7:30. I think it was my mum's scotch pancakes that he loved because he'd usually end up having half of the stack she'd put in the centre of the table. Stripping to my underpants in the wash room I made a mad dash through the kitchen and up the stairs to the shower. It wasn't that I was embarrassed by my body, farm life had given me muscles and a shape that I was pleased with. It was more to do with wearing an old pair of underpants that had definitely seen better days. I like things loose, but these let it all hang out, back and front. Getting back down to breakfast I found a letter sat on my plate. The penmanship had run a bit with rain but the address was just intelligible. To D squiggle at Conniston smudge, Kin - run & splat, Worrel, Cheshi... and the rest was illegible. The envelope looked like a Rorschach test, one of those psychologist's ink blot tests. I opened the letter and found a simple 5 line note: 'God, I wish you were here, we really need you badly. On Saturday we'll just die without your help. Please, please, please call me. My new number is 01244-509666. Tony.' I didn't know a Tony, there used to be an Anthony at school but we weren't really friends. I must have had a puzzled look on my face. "What's up, dear?" I looked up to my mum and handed her the letter and she read it out aloud. By the end we all were just staring at each other for ideas and then we all started to speak together. "Who's Tony?" came from my dad. "Weird!" from Harry. "I don't know a Tony" My mum finished the questions off with "I think you should ring this number and tell them you received their letter. Even if it isn't for you it is still important that this Tony knows the right person didn't get it." I started going for the phone and was called back by my dad. "Leave it 'til lunch, it's too early to go ringing somebody up now." I checked my watch - just gone 8:00. I put the letter aside and started digging into breakfast. The conversation settled back to the normal ebb and flow of local news and work. .............. The phone rang several times before it was answered I kept checking my watch as it rang. There was a click and a couple of seconds later. "Five-oh-nine-triple-six" a sleepy mid-range masculine voice, I guessed late teens maybe early twenties. "Oh - hi, ur .. is there a Tony there." "You got him, for all the good it's going to do you. God! what time is it?" I rechecked my watch again forgetting I had done it only a moment ago. "It's 11:30" "11:30" this was followed by a long drawn out groan. "Please excuse me, but I just received a letter I believe you wrote." "Huh, who are you?" "Oh I'm sorry, my name is David Tremain." "David Tremain, sorry, don't remember the name..." The voice trailed off and there was a muffled noise. The voice then continued as if he was talking to somebody else "God! you stink, go take a shower, I'll join you as soon as I can." There was more muffled noise a kiss and then a giggle." Followed by silence... "I'm sorry to disturb you, it's just that this letter seems important and I don't think it was meant for me." "Sorry, I got distracted for a moment - can you read me this letter?" "Oh yeah, I'll go get it I left it on the table..." When I got back I could here muffled voices and some more giggles. The phone was then picked up and another male voice then spoke. Deeper, older. "It's John here, I'm sorry but Tony can't come to the phone. he's just......Oh that's it suck right there..." this was interrupted by the phone obviously being dropped. "Oooh ...... Ooooh ..... Don't stop .... I'm nearly there ........ Urghhhhhhhhhh!" The sounds and voices hypnotised me, were they doing what I thought they were doing. My imagination had got the better of me and I was hard as a rock. My ear glued to the phone, trying to imagine what it felt like. OK, I'll admit it, 19 and still a virgin - definitely not by choice but more because of opportunity. Worrel is such a small place that if anybody farts, everyone can smell it. Nobody does anything indiscreet, the entire village would know before you'd finished. Another reason is that farm life puts a damper on all things sociable. You can't go clubbing if you're milking cows at five in the morning. The noises on the phone got more muffled and quieter and then the sound of a slap and "Now go and get in that shower!" The phone was picked up again. "Now where were we?" "I received this letter" "Oh yes, can you read it to me?" "Yeah, it says 'God, I wish you were here, we really need you badly. On Saturday we'll just die with out your help." "How did you get that? What's your address?" "Conniston Farm, Kingsmoor Lane, Worrel, Cheshire. The address on the envelope has run and all you can read is the letter D and the words Conniston, Kin, Worrel and Cheshire." "It should read 'Daniel, Conniston House, King Lear Drive, Wirral, Cheshire'." "Do you want me to re-address it and bung it back in the post." "Yes - wait a mo, what day is it - Wednesday, No don't bother I'll go see Daniel and see if he can play bass at Friday afternoon's Rehearsal." "You play in a band?" "Yeah, 'Kielhouse Razz', I'm a drummer. We're playing lead warm up for George Michael at the Roxy on Saturday." "Oh, you must be good." "Yeah pretty good, we'd be better if we could find a vocalist." "Any chance of coming and listening to you?" "We generally don't have an audience but whatever floats your boat. Your welcome if you want to, but I warn you there may be lots of stopping and starting, until we get it right." "That's OK, I'd love to come." "OK - we're at Mafeking Hall on Back Wall Gate in Chester. We run from about 1 till 5." "I'll be there." "Bye - got to go." "See you." Love Song Copyright Romanticiser 1997 Part 2 of ? Chapter 2: Love must be the reason Mafeking Hall was a pig to find. Why don't A-Z maps tell you about one way streets? Once I'd found it, finding somewhere to park was even worse. It was gone 2 by the time I walked up to the doors. The building was a large, late Victorian church hall, blackened stone arches and small stained glass windows. A terraced street either side of the corner plot, the hall occupied, was a classic 1930's picture even with a group of kid's kicking a football around at the bottom end of one of the streets. A set of dark brown pitted double doors stood open; from within the sound of the band playing wafted out inviting all to listen. Pan pipes playing the lead against what you would almost describe as South American ethnic meets Rock, they were good. Very good. Two large stone steps led into the entrance hall, scouting flags mounted by each door moved in the breeze. A large notice board, mounted on the left hand wall, was covered with little messages pinned to it. Scratched and worn parquet flooring led into a large open area about 10 feet from the main doors. As I entered the main hall the sound increasing in volume as they went into the end of the number. The coolness of the hall beckoning all from the heat of the sun. Benches and chairs stacked against a wall with a few scattered about. A couple of people sat and listened to the music. The band was playing on a stage at one end of the hall. There were seven of them. Two drummers, three guitarists, one on keyboards and one playing the pan pipes. They were all about twenty to twenty-five years old, except for one of the drummers who looked more like thirty. The music ended with just the pan pipe playing a complex little riff whilst the sound of the guitars and keyboard faded away to nothing. The audience of three, myself included clapped. One of the guitarists took off his guitar and said "Let's take a break, I'm parched.". The murmurs of general agreement coincided with the temporary break up of the band. They all dismounted from the stage and wandered over to a small room at the bottom end. "Tony, you going to be mother again?" "I'm always mother!" One of them laughed. Short dark curly brown hair framing an almost cherubic face lit up in amusement. He was slim, about 5' 6" tall, the shortest of the group, and apparently the loudest as you could hear him throughout the conversations going on. He served drinks through a serving hatch, apparently knowing what each of them drank and comfortable with the ribbing and general fun that took place. I walked over as the last of the group moved away from in front of serving hatch. Looking at me and stunning me speechless, he said with a smile on his face "And what would you like, gorgeous." "Tony, stop that, I've told you before about scaring the natives." The thirty year old came over and offered me his hand. As I shook it he continued. "Hi my name's John, you've got to forgive Tony, he plays the dizzy queen to the hilt." I looked up into a smiling face about my height 6' light mouse brown hair and piercing blue eyes. "Oh hi my name is David, I believe we spoke on the phone." "Ah yes, the curious case of the misplaced letter, it sound's sort of Sherlock Holmes-ish doesn't it?" He was poking fun at the circumstances and I laughed agreeing with him. Tony interrupted us with "David would you like anything - tea, coffee?" And with a sigh he added "me?" John rolled his eyes and shrugged as if to say what can I do about him. I decided to play it back "I'd like a cup of coffee first, we'll see about the other later." The look on Tony's face was priceless and I couldn't help but smile and John laughed. Tony poured me a cup of coffee from a large stainless steel teapot and handed it over with a bag of sugar with a teaspoon pushed into it. "Come and meet the band" said John and I followed him, drinking the coffee, as he led me over the group sitting against one wall. "This is Craig, he's our keyboard man." A blond thin man, tall maybe 6' 4", square-ish face, slightly pock marked looked up from a book he was reading. I offered him my hand and smiled "Hi my name's David" He didn't take my hand but he winked and nodded back. His voice was deep and raspy. "HellO." "Don't mind Craig, he's big into Pratchett. This is Martin and Michael our lead guitarists. Forget trying to work out which is which, They mix it up so much that nobody can tell them apart." I looked into two identical angular faces surrounded by light brown straight hair, thin lips and hazel almost grey eyes. "Hi, I'm David." "I'm Michael" said the closest, lifting his hand to shake. "Don't believe a bloody word. I've seen one of them give the other a love bite just to confuse their girlfriend." I looked up at John in surprise, he shrugged "Just don't ask!" I shook hands with both of them. "Our pipes man coming back from the loo. David meet Yan, spelt with a J, he's an ex-Swede." I looked into a clear skinned pale face fringed by almost white hair. "He has ceased to pee." Was Jan's response and burst out laughing as I shook his hand. Walking over to the stage to where a slim red haired man faced away from us, replacing a string on his guitar "And our last member, Daniel our base player." He turned and offered his hand as I stretched out mine. I looked in to two green eyes like pools of jade. I couldn't move or breathe I seemed to be sinking and then contact. Electricity running up my arm, scaring me, enthralling me, I couldn't, wouldn't look away from those eyes. My thoughts slowing, stopping until only feelings were left. A hand on my shoulder jolted me and I turned breaking contact. Tony was beside me and was speaking."....your turn, everybody we meet has to." "Huh .... Sorry." He took one look at my face, scanned me up and down and grabbed me by the elbow, marching me back over to the doors and set me down on one of the benches. I couldn't help myself I turned to look at the stage. "Yep! You got it bad." He pulled me up and propelled me out of the doors with his hand in the small of my back. "Snap out of it! ... Get a grip!" My brain started functioning again. Tony was speaking again. "I've seen it once, never felt it all at one go but boy did it hit you!" "Huh! What hit me?" "Love or lust, you idiot - you and Daniel! You poor bugger." His name was like a shock and I could see his eyes again. "You can't go back in there, not now, not yet. Where's your car?" "Ur - Princess Street - but why...." "Got to get you off the street" He turned into the hall and called John. "Why off the street?" "Because of this!" And he patted my groin. I looked down I was hard, very hard and there was a growing wet patch. "Oh shit!" "Dead right, Oh..." John came walking out. "What's up Tony." "Have you got the car keys I need to get him off the street - Now!" He turned me around. "Christ. What happened." He said as he searched his pockets and started leading off to a blue van." "Daniel - he fell in lust or love on first sight, that's what, the kid never stood a chance." "Poor bastard." There was something going on, my thoughts wouldn't straighten out 'Why poor bastard, I don't know what happened but it can't be love, he's a man!' John opened up the back and Tony pushed me inside and climbed in after me. Turning round he said "Give us 10 minutes." Shutting the door John said "OK, I'll think up something." I sat on the floor wondering what had happened, I had shot in my jeans that was certain but I couldn't even remember getting hard or cumming at all. I couldn't be in love, I'm not gay .... I'm Not gay! ... "I'm NOT gay!" I said out loud. "OK you may not be gay but what has that got to do with love?" "But he's a man, I'm a man, it just can't happen." "Think of Daniel, his red hair, his green eyes, his lips." The words evoked a face in my mind, strong and gentle, a slightly amused expression. Freckles peppering his face, I didn't remember them before, they crossed over the bridge of his nose. "Yep you're in love, blank staring face but you're smiling." "What am I going to do, this can't be happening," "Come on strip out of the jeans we've got to get you cleaned up." That woke me up. "I can't strip ... I mean what am I going to wear." "I've got John's laundry here, you're about the same size, you can use a pair of his jeans. Are you going to start stripping or what?" He laughed at my blushing face "Don't worry you're not my type." "I'm not wearing anything underneath - I can't strip here" "Do you want to do it outside - here use these tissues to clean yourself up." He chucked a box of tissues and a pair of jeans at me as he opened the door and got out. Checking that he wasn't looking in, I carefully stripped out of my jeans and started to wipe myself clean. I blushed again when I heard Tony from outside saying "Nice." I looked up to see his grinning face peeking in the rear windows. Embarrassment at least had one compensation, I lost my wood. Skinning up the jeans I found them tighter than I'm used to. The creases around the crotch didn't match my form and were a bit uncomfortable but at least they were dry. The fly buttons were hard to do up and I ended up opening the jeans and doing each button in order. Getting out of the van Tony patted me on my butt and said "Nice buns!" I couldn't help it I blushed again. Tony smirked "Lighten up will you, you're with friends. Now come on you've got to sing." He locked the door and led me back into the hall "Me sing, you've got to be kidding?" "No - everybody tries out, it's the rule. The band all agrees we need a singer but until we find one everybody tries out." "If I sing I won't be tried out, I'll be thrown out!" "Maybe. but everyone sings one song and I know just the one." "I don't know any songs, I can't sing." We had got back into the hall and the band were back on the stage waiting for us, for me. John asked what song as Tony headed for a briefcase at the back. "Show me Heaven - I think he's got the range to do it." "Great choice!" said John with a smile. "I can't sing." I said but without much conviction Daniel was facing me and he mouthed just one word - sing. That was it I was doomed. Tony came back over to me wearing a pair of headphones flipping the buttons on a Walkman. "Put these on and when I nod press play. Here's the music." turning around he said "Show me Heaven - four, four with a three measure lead." He went over to his drum kit and sat down. I stood there, dreading and yet resigned to sing. He started to drum and then nodded to me and I pressed play. The tape kicked in but with a two second lead on what the band was playing and I got confused on where to start and missed it. The band petered out. Tony looked at me. "Dave you got to do this." "OK, just let me just listen to it once and then I'll sing." I grabbed the phones off my head. "I can't handle it with these, OK." "All right go in the kitchen and listen to it, we'll try another piece first." I walked into the kitchen and sat down. I put on the phones and rewound back to the start of the song. I then pressed play. I mouthed the words and listened to the rhythm and beat, I was going to kill it, I just knew it. I even turned up my car tape player so I couldn't hear myself sing the words. I remembered the choir at school and being thrown out by the music teacher. God help me! God help them! The song finished and I walked back out with my shoulders slumped, unready and nervous. The band finished their piece and I was called out to the stage. I left my phones on at least I wouldn't have to listen to my singing. "Stand in the centre and face the band. remember to finish the song irrespective of what were doing. OK?" I nodded and stood in front of the centre guitarist, Daniel, who was looking down at his guitar, and then I dropped my eyes to the music sheet in my hand. The band started playing. I read the words and started singing. 'There you go, flashing fever from your eyes." Daniel's face rose to meet mine and I knew I'd lose it so I turned around facing the hall and carried on. 'Hey babe, come over here and shove down tight. I'm not denying, we're flying above the dawn. Hold my hand, don't let me fall. You've such amazing grace, I've never felt this way. Oh! Show me Heaven.' Something started niggling in my mind - nobody was playing. I turned and stopped. Tony was out of his seat and was standing right behind me grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Daniel was staring at me wide eyed and open mouthed. Tony broke the silence "God you were unbelievable!" "That bad Huh!" "No, you moron that good. Well it's up to a vote." Stupefied I watched each of them nod at Tony until he turned to me and said "That's it, unanimous, we've found our singer." Love Song Copyright Romanticiser 1997 Part 3 of ? The band decided to have another break whilst they all discussed what they should change in their normal program as they now had a singer, me. I can't say I did anything to help them, I spent most of my time opening and closing my mouth, like a goldfish, trying to assimilate what had happened. Daniel came to me and offered me another cup of coffee and I followed him to the kitchen area, bemused. Not so totally befuddled that I didn't notice the width of his shoulders, the V shape of his torso and that ponytail of red hair that hung a third of the way down his back. "You sing well, did you have training?" I stopped in the middle of the hall. "Huh!" I had to get my thoughts under control "Ur .. I don't understand any of this, my voice is awful, I can't sing" "You could have fooled me, you just sang like a pro, you even got the high notes. I had thought Tony had set you up with a bastard of a song, It goes higher than most men can reach." "But I can't sing." "Will you take it from us? You can, you sing wonderfully." They had to be insane, out of their 'friggin' trees'. I decided to show what damage I could really do with my voice. "Just listen to this and tell me if I can sing." Closing my eyes and concentrating on the track, from the tape that was always playing in my car, it took me a few moments to straighten my mind and ready the fast reggae beat in my head. 'If you want to leave baby, I won't beg you to stay. And if you want to go, darlin' maybe - it's better that way. I'm gonna' be strong, I'm gonna be fine. Don't tell me about this heart of mine. Walk out of this door, see if I care. Go on and go now but Don't Turn Around. Coz your gonna see my heart breaking. Don't Turn Around ....' Somebody started playing a guitar and I lost it, the rhythm failed me and I opened my eyes. Michael, or was it Martin, had their guitar around his neck and was grinning at me. Daniel still stood there, silent. "Well, still think I can sing?". He smiled, grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face the doors. The hall had an extra 10 or 15 people in it. Stepping up behind me he whispered into my ear "You did that, you pulled them in, with out us! On your own. Think, what all of us could do." The heat from his body so close to mine drained all resistance and I felt that I could stand there forever. Leaving me stood there he walked off towards the kitchen, "Don't you want a coffee?" Looking around and realising where I was. I turned and followed him in silence. When we got back to the band, they had pretty much settled what I was going to do. I was too numb with the impact of the last hour to have any sane thoughts or opinions. It was Tony who told me that they wanted me to sing one song at the gig, the next day. I was too new and their wasn't enough time to practice more than one number. Show me Heaven was the number they wanted me to sing, I had proved I could handle it (not in my own mind, though). The break came to a hasty end. The band was all fired up and wanted to do the number with full intro. and complete. We spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening until gone 7:00 practising. By the end of the session I was comfortable with the words and music but still thought it was going to be a disaster. As the band started to pack up Tony had me moving parts of the drum kits into their van. When we were alone he asked me to stay at his house tonight, instead of driving home, being such a newcomer to the band he'd have to arrange clearance for me at the Roxy early the next day, get photographs for the passes, so on. He actually didn't stop giving reasons until I'd agreed. Then he also added that he had my jeans and I would have to get them anyway. The band left the hall and Craig locked the doors. With a wave they all separated to various cars and drove off leaving Tony, John and me getting into their blue van. "I need to get my car and ring home or they'll get worried." "No problem." Chapter 3: Let there be love. I rolled over in my sleep and felt someone behind me, groggily I opened my eyes and twisting my head I looked up into burning jade green eyes. The yellow of the streetlights outside, shining through the curtainless windows, giving them an almost luminescent quality, his green silk shirt bright and electric in the sodium glare. "It's OK, baby. It's just me." he said as he gently pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around my chest. My heart beating a tattoo at the feel of his warmth along my body and his lips on my neck as he whispered. "I know you've got questions - but I felt it too, this is meant to be." My shock and resistance melted away brick by brick as he kissed and licked down my neck and along my shoulder. I couldn't help but moan as I felt him start to suck at the base of my of neck. His hands rubbing around my chest as he licked and sucked those spots that I never knew were so sensitive. Lifting his face and brushing my ear with his cheek he cooed into my ear "Your mine now forever as I'm yours." One hand settled over one of my nipples and started rubbing and teasing it gently as the other wandered slowly down my ribs. Lower and lower rubbing from side to side, finding my navel and exploring it thoroughly sending incredible feelings to my brain. I moaned at the feeling of his hand as he ran his fingers through my pubic hair nudging past my hardness with the back of his hand. "Quiet, my love - we don't want to wake everyone up." His words heating me up as much as his hands, I wanted to feel his skin against mine, to taste his love with mine. Rolling over in his arms and looking into his smiling face as his hands ran around my sides and followed the muscles on my back like a sculptor checking his work. Looking into his eyes, I slowly lowered my lips to his. Parting slightly on the delicious contact and then his tongue was caressing mine. Getting tingles from my head to my toes and with the taste of ambrosia - my Daniel, I wanted more contact, deeper. Raising my hands until I could feel his fine hair slip though my fingers I rolled him onto his back and hunched over him kissing him harder, deeper, With passion and love oozing from every pore and our lips pressed tightly together our tongues wrestled from mouth to mouth and back again. An eternity spent in one kiss, Gabriel could have blown his horn for all that I knew or cared. The separation when it came was partial, we would always be a part of the other from now on. I wasn't sure what I needed from him but I definitely wanted him naked in my arms, to feel his skin against mine to be as close as physically possible and God I wanted it - Now. Raising up, lying half over Daniel I went for the silk shirt, my hands trembling with desire, the small shiny buttons seemed to slip through my fingers. He spoke as his hand raised and cupped my chin lifting my eyes to his. "Slowly, my love. I'm not going anywhere." He raised his head and pecked on my lips. "We have all the time in the world." More calmly than I thought possible he opened the top button and then the next, moving down button after button until he reached his jeans. Released from the spectacle of him undressing for me I was instantly in motion, my hands exploring and revealing more of his exposed chest as I opened his shirt. Daniel, his eyes closed and arching up slightly to improve the sensation, breathed huskily "Oh God, yes!" The shapely torso below me shifted and thinned as the faint lines of his ribs became more pronounced. His pale skin, ghostlike in the wash of street light, seemed without hair or blemish. Two darker circles, highlighting the location of nipples, enticing me to pleasure him. One shaded hollow in his stomach with a sexy trail of fine hair widening towards the darkness of his jeans. I dropped my lips to his chest, tasting his skin and the light sheen of sweat that excited me further than I had ever been before. Ravenous for more I licked over to his left nipple, feeling it harden and stand proud as my tongue flicked it. Daniel gasped and placed his hands on my head guiding my mouth to cover his nipple again and again until it was like a small bullet surrounded by goose flesh. Eager to suckle on his other nipple I resisted his guiding until he realised my destination and then he forcefully urged me faster twisting his body to speed my tongue on its way. Daniel was slowly going crazy with his hips raising and lowering in slow humping actions with soft gasps and moans. His hands suddenly pulling my head up for a deep loving kiss. Pulling him up to a sitting position, I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, our tongues still duelling. Arms caressing each other and holding us together tightly. Lowering slightly I kissed his chin and then tilting his head back further I kissed down to his adam's apple causing it to bounce as he gulped in air. Moving to his side I licked his neck and followed his collar bone to the shoulder. Licking and kissing up his neck to his ear, the earlobe joined to the side of his face for its full length. Fascinated, I couldn't resist it and I sucked it into my lips, gently chewing and licking it. I could feel Daniel groan and tremble, his hands stopping their aimless wandering around my back. He started to pull me off him, reluctantly I released his ear and looked into his bright eyes as he spoke "You're making me so hard it hurts, I've got to get out of these jeans." Sliding my hands down his chest and onto his flat stomach, running my fingers through his trail of hair, I slowly reached for the top button of his jeans where his erection formed a large bulge over to one hip. Daniel sucked in his breath and gave a hoarse groan as my hands entered at the waist. Feeling the coarse cloth move with the throbbing contained within I struggled with the top button - the sudden release in tension in the jeans and Daniel as I started to unzip the fly. Pale skin showed and then his pubic hair started to appear, no underwear just a magnificent view of silky pubic hair and the base of a large throbbing cock. I couldn't handle it anymore I was hotter than hell and the sight was too much, Daniel with his eyes closed and his chest arched from the bed with me sat between his legs. His cock coming into view as I slowly pulled his jeans down. I came in my boxers, the passion and love built up over minutes released in a fraction of a second. Spasm's shook me as I came, my cock constricted in my boxers was becoming painful, almost agonising and then the relief of intense pressure through eruption. I awoke still coming with spasms shooting through my lower back in my hardest orgasm ever. The shock of finding it all a dream offset by the release. Turning over I went back to sleep exhausted and disgusted with myself but incredibly aroused by the fantasy. Love Song Copyright Romanticiser 1997 Part 4 of ? Waking up at 8:00 was odd, lying on a sofa flat on my back was odd. As my thoughts started with 'where was I' and 'why', Tony passed by me on the way to the kitchen area of their apartment. "Morning, want some breakfast?" I sat up and stretched with a yawn that came from somewhere so deep it took me a few seconds to speak. "Please." "Sleep well?" "OK but weird dreams." "Must have been sexy, Daniel?" he said pointing to the front of my jeans. A circular stain marked where I had cum in my jeans. "Oh shit." Tony laughed. "You definitely got it bad. Or good, depends on your point of view I suppose." Rattling through a draw he pulled out a knife. "Toast, one slice or two?" I couldn't handle much more of this. I had been seeing Daniel in my mind's eye all night and he had guessed right about my dream. The turmoil I could feel was building. "Tony, can we talk for a minute? Please." He looked over sharply, judging my mood I supposed and then sighed. "I knew it was going to come, sometime." He turned off the grill and walked over to me and sat down beside me. "Ask away." I took a deep breath and then looking straight ahead I said "Please don't take any offence I know you're gay, but I'm having trouble with these feelings. They just aren't right. I can't be gay, I just can't!" "David, can I ask you a couple of questions? They'll need honest answers." He waited for some acceptance and when I didn't respond he continued "Are you a virgin? Do you want to have Daniel make love to you?" I thought of lying, of being evasive but I had my suspicions that he already knew. The thought of Daniel excited and aroused me. My face and neck felt hot, I stuttered trying to answer but in the end just nodded and then it got too much. I burst into tears. Tony hugged me and pulled me so that I was lying on him, my head resting on his shoulder. I grabbed hold and held on tight, tears blurring my vision. Tony never stopped talking to me, telling me that things would work out, being gay wasn't the end of the world. The tears ran, I couldn't seem to stop and in the end I let it all out and accept it. I had to know, was Daniel gay too, did I have a chance. "Is Daniel gay." "I don't think so. Maybe ... I don't really know. I've never seen him with anybody." I don't know how long we were there with Tony holding me but when I pulled away there were two mugs of coffee on the table and John was sat in one of the chairs watching us, a slight smile coming to his face when he saw me look at him. The silence was oppressive, almost malign. I had to break it. "I'm sorry...." John answered. "Forget it, Tony went through the same sort of thing a couple of years ago. You have to accept what you are, who you are or you'll end up hurting yourself and others more." "I don't know what I am, women don't turn me on but then again men don't either. Now there's Daniel. Oh God! I'm so mixed up." "Let things lie, everybody needs time to mature. Your confusion and your emotions will sort themselves out." "Thanks ... you sound like a shrink." He smiled and Tony laughed. "He's got you in one." At my perplexed look Tony continued. "He's a psychologist at Chester Memorial, that's how I met him." "Oh - I thought you were a professional band?" "Well we are and we aren't. We do get paid, but we haven't yet made enough to drop our normal jobs yet." "What do you all do?" "I work at MFI the furniture store, John at the hospital, Craig - he works as a draughtsman at K.E.K. The twins are electricians and Jan's doing his PhD in Computers." "What about Daniel, what does he do?" "He's a model, well sort of ... anyway you'll have to get the truth from him." Tony got up "Why don't you take a shower whilst I get breakfast ready." As I stood up to go he continued "There's a new toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet. Oh you'd better chuck out those jeans and I'll get you another pair of John's." Chapter 4: Unchained melody. It was quite a morning, first we went to a local chemist where we used a photo booth. Then off to the Roxy to get my stage pass. Whilst I filled the forms Tony and John unloaded the drum kits, amplifiers and guitars for the stage hands to set up. Then it was off to town for a wander around the shops. At least I managed to get some new jeans and T-shirt at C & A, John and Tony insisted that I get tight stretch jeans, they both said that I looked really good in them. Then it was back to their apartment. Most of the afternoon was spent resting quietly, absorbed in our own thoughts. To say that I was nervous would be an understatement, I had seen the stage at the Roxy and it scared the hell out of me. John went back to the Roxy to carry out a final check of the equipment whilst Tony cooked a light meal. I didn't feel hungry, the thought of food made me feel slightly nauseous. After John had returned and they had eaten he sat down and played solitaire. Tony had gone to take a nap. My nerves were really getting to me and I paced the room. "David, will you please calm down? We're going to be good, you will be great." At my look he continued "You really don't think you can sing, do you?" I shook my head. He got up and headed off for the bedroom. "I know how to convince you." A few seconds later he returned with a tape recorder. "Now somewhere I've got a blank tape." He searched a few drawers and then rattled through some used ones. "This one will do, I never really liked this album." After rewinding the tape he pressed record. "Sing anything you want, don't worry if I'll like it, just be comfortable with what you choose." The tape was running and my mind went blank. I tried to think of the songs on the tape in my car. The words eluded me as I ran through each track in my head. Then I had one, it was a woman's song but the beat was slow and easy. 'You can reach me by railway. You can reach me by trailway. You can reach me on an airplane. You can reach me with your mind. You can reach me by caravan. Cross the desert like an arabman. I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can.' John clicked the tape off and I stopped singing. "Don't stop, it's beautiful." I turned, Tony was stood in the doorway. "Please go on." I recreated the beat and continued. 'You can reach me by sailboat. You can climb a tree and swing rope to rope. Take a sled and slide down slope, into these arms of mine....' I stopped and could feel my face getting hot. "I'm sorry, I couldn't remember the next line." Tony came up to me and embraced me. "Where did you get that one from, it's beautiful, I've never heard it before but we're going to get the music for that, I want to hear you finish the song." "It's by Oleta Adams, it's on the 'Love Album', no the 'Love album 2'. I've got the tape in my car, I'll get it. It's a woman's song and she sings it far better than I could." "I doubt that." I grabbed my car keys and went down for the tape. Tony was lying on the sofa when I returned. I passed the cassette to John. "It's around the middle of side 2." John swapped the tapes and pressed fast forward, looking down into the tape player. A couple of clicks and the sounds of 'Walk on by' came out. "It's right after this." John held fast forward down and the speeded up song quickly came to an end. He let go and turned the volume up. The music started and I waited for that tiny bell like an old friend. Then the sultry voice of Oleta filled the room. I tried to get the line that had stumped me but I couldn't make it out. As the tones faded John swapped the tapes and pressed play. A smooth mellow masculine voice started the same song. It was my voice and it wasn't. I sat down surprised at the voice as it rose to the high notes without effort or quaver. The voice seemed right for the song although the words weren't. My heart said it wasn't my voice but my mind knew it was nobody else's. The verse ended and heavy metal blared out. John hit the stop button fast. John was smiling and Tony grinned at me "You were wrong, your better." Love Song Copyright Romanticiser 1997 Part 5 of ? After 5:00 things got a little hectic and to be honest I hardly remember the next couple of hours. The final getting ready and the drive to the Roxy. Getting in through the doors and waiting for the rest of the band. Fleeting introductions to people at the gig, making sure all the equipment was set up to each players liking. The wait seemed like an eternity, I was now resigned to the 'disaster to come'. I couldn't get out of it. Around 7:00 there was a sound of people, the crowd and as it grew so did my anxiety. The band had decided that out of their five songs mine would be last and I would come out during the fourth number to the back of the stage then the lights would be dropped. As the last song started the spotlight would slowly brighten on me as I sang and walked forward. The light would then slowly come up on the rest of the band a few seconds later. I don't remember who ran off to set the lighting up, I had my eyes closed, breathing deeply, trying to stop the feeling of nausea from making me throw up. A tap on the door with a call for positions nearly finished me off. I couldn't do this - I just couldn't. Then I was being manoeuvred almost like an automaton I was helped to the wings of the stage. The crowd noise was tremendous. Daniel, Craig, Michael and Martin, Jan and John all went on stage and got into position. Tony stood on his tiptoes and pulling my head down kissed me on the forehead "Relax and enjoy it. I'll come and get you after Lady Luck." He then ran for his drum kit as the announcer started to introduce the band. "Ladies and Gentlemen - 'Kielhouse Razz'." The band started playing a number I didn't know as the curtains went up and the roar of the crowd raised and then almost vanished. Jan was playing up a storm with Michael and Martin both playing counterpoint. I started to relax and get into the flow of the event. My adrenaline and mood rising with the music. At the end of the first number the crowd applause was like a cascade quiet at the start but building. Then the band started the second. the third, the fourth and then Tony was pulling me onto the stage. The heat and noise of the crowd had been muted in the wings against what was out on the stage. It hit me like a wave almost knocking me back. Centred between the drummers, I stood there almost in an hypnotic trance and then Tony said the words that will always be burned into me. "Sing your heart out, Sing it for Daniel." He then handed me a mic, the weight surprised me. As he started to settle back into his drum seat, the lights went out. After three or four seconds I heard the lead intro. into the song and I sang. To say it was an emotional release would be an understatement - I had never before experienced anything like it. It was like a rush, a drug that raised me higher than I've ever been. The crowd didn't exist, The noise was silent - all I could see was a face surrounded by red hair and a pair of jade green eyes staring back and I sang my love - It was love, I was in love with Daniel and I was happy. Then it was over and the face vanished, the audience and the noise was back, everyone was going wild. The band appeared around me and I was pressed into a bow and then we were all rushing off stage. Grins were plastered on everybody's face. "God, what a trip." "Unbelievable!" "Jesus Christ!" Tony grabbed me and hugged me. "You were absolutely, fucking fantastic!" A voice pulled us from our self congratulations. "Guys that was one hell of a show you put on out there." George Michael, with his close cropped hair and goatee beard, smiled at us. "I don't know how I'm going to follow that!" He shook each of our hands and then floored us completely. "I'm in the States on a tour in the new year and I want you on it." Looking at me he then continued "With his pipes and your voice their not going to know what hit them. Call Frank next month and we'll see about firming it up more." Then he strode off leaving us all open mouthed and stunned. Chapter 5: Tears of a clown. We all walked quietly back to our room and grabbed our coats. Tony said "Let's go celebrate." And then we were off and out of the Roxy and into the cars. We all ended back at Tony and John's flat drinking until the small hours. I learned more about life in those few hours than I ever did at school. I'll have to admit I listened more and took more notice of Daniel than any of the others. I didn't say much to start off with as the others all knew each other well and I was an outsider. Tony and John both tried to drag me into the conversations, I did take part in some but I mostly kept my ears open and learned about them. The horror stories of broken homes and abuse that peeked through the conversation made me think I'd lived in an Enid Blyton novel all my life. By the early hours we were all well past merry and heading for insensibility. Michael or Martin - I can never tell which, asked if I had a girlfriend and I replied carefully "not at the moment." I got to ask Daniel what he did for a living and nearly died when he told me that he was porn model and usually ended up with his dick stuffed up some woman, "shagging the arse off'em." The pain I felt wasn't in his words but in his grin. It was gone two in the morning when the adrenaline had started to peter out and the booze had kicked in. Drooping eyelids and the odd yawn told us all to pack it in. Tony offered all of us space on their floor but Michael and Martin left for home saying they lived "just around the corner". Blankets were passed out and we all settled ourselves for the night with Tony and John in their bedroom, Jan on the couch and Daniel, Craig and myself on the floor. My thoughts turned to Daniel as they had been doing for the last couple of days. He was straight, his job proved that. I was doomed to love someone who would never love me. I started to feel depressed and could feel tears come to my eyes but I was determined I wasn't going to cry. Jan's quiet whisper for me to sing them a goodnight song broke me from my sad reverie and I decided not to argue but to sing a song that I had been listening to and singing to in the car. It fitted my mood. Rising to a sitting position and looking over to Craig shrouded in darkness near the wall and Daniel half lit by the yellow street light outside. I centred myself on the beat and hope in the voice even though I didn't feel it. I started. 'Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating. Do you understand. Do you feel the same. Am I only dreaming. Is this burning an eternal flame? I believe it's meant to be, darling. I watch you when you are sleeping. You belong with me. Do you feel the same. Am I only dreaming. but is this burning an eternal flame? Say my name, sunshines through the rain. Oh oh, Life so lonely and then come and ease the pain. I don't want to lose this feeling. Ohhhhhh! Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating. Do you understand. Do you feel the same. Am I only dreaming. Is this burning an eternal flame?' With the end of the song the flood gates opened and I couldn't control it any more I started to cry silently. The pain I felt was almost physical, a tightening in my chest that wouldn't go away. I rolled away from the others and hid myself sobbing silently into the darkness, wanting the ground to open up and swallow me. I woke up, with a dead arm from lying on it all night. I got up rubbing my lifeless limb awaiting the pain of the pins and needles shooting up it. Bleary eyed, hungover with the need to piss like the very devil I looked around and saw that Daniel had gone, his blanket exactly where he'd used it the previous night. Coming back from the toilet I saw John moving about in the kitchen area. I whispered "Morning John." He replied with a smile and mouthed "Hi, Coffee". I nodded and sat at the table. as John made two mugs of coffee. Drinking in silence, I tried to piece together my feelings and soothe my head. A bang as the front door slammed shut followed by a shouted "Good Morning All." made me cringe and groan. Daniel appeared beside me carrying a box with the smell of fresh baked bread about it. His smiles and loud, cheerful voice were enough to make me wince but with my mouth watering to the tantalising smell. Grabbing me by the shoulders he pulled me out of the chair and pushed me off to the bathroom. "You go shower, you need one." as I walked across the room he continued with "and don't lock the door the others are going to be up and about" followed with a shouted "Soon." The shower was relaxing and helped me to clear my head. There was a constant stream of people coming in and out of the bathroom as the opaque curtain would blow in towards me on the breeze from the open door. Tony was last and he told me to leave some water for everybody else. Whilst I got dried, dressed and cleaned my teeth, the smell of bacon frying reached my nose, urging me back to the kitchen. The apartment was full of smiles, grins and bright faces. Michael and Martin had returned and were all reading papers. Daniel passed me one and said "Page two column 4" When I turned the page there it was: "Razz-le Dazzle." Last night at the Chester Roxy, in their first debut performance on the big stage a small fairly unknown local instrumental band, with the name of Kielhouse Razz shocked critics and public alike by stealing the show away from the other stars, the Lighthouse family and George Michael. Given the five song lead-in warm up, the band proceeded to rock the foundations of the music industry. Four instrumental tracks with the lead on panpipes. A music mix of South American and modern rock. A sort of 'Rock the Andes' grabbing the audience with some real foot stompers. The final song and I mean song was sung by their newest member who only joined the band the day before. Their cover version of "Show me Heaven" was better than the original with the male voice and panpipes working together with the counterpoint played on twin lead guitars. They brought the house down. Two drummers, one keyboard, one base, two lead, pan pipes and a honeyed tenor voice that was stunning in it's range are guaranteeing them their own place centre stage and a death knell to the traditional belief that more than one lead will fail." Martin and Michael were jumping around jubilantly and shouting "We've made it." Love Song Copyright Romanticiser 1997 Part 6 of ? Muddled with wild thoughts of success, America and Daniel and how I was going to tell my family. I got out of the car. The smell of fresh air and the Sunday roast mixing in my nostrils. Home again and `time to pay the piper'. My dad and I had this agreement that for every feeding or milking that we missed we would have to take the other's shift as well. From Friday afternoon until now dad had covered for me, now it was my turn to give him two days off. Mum smiled at me as I entered. "Hi dear, `Cutting it fine' again there's only 15 minutes until dinner." "Hi Mum, where's Dad?" Smiling she replied "Getting his golf clubs ready? " increasing her voice "I don't know why he spent so much on that set of clubs, it's not as if he can play!" A shouted "I heard that!" came from the family room, followed by some low muttering. Grinning my mum turned around and started to make the gravy. I wandered into the family room. A medium sized room plush with thick maroon carpet. Old comfy chairs and a large entertainment system built into one wall were the only furniture. To a twin shout of "Shoes!" I made a hasty detour to the `clean' room and removed my shoes and put them below the rack of waterproofs next to the wellington boots. "Dad, I think we've got a problem." "We? You maybe - not me. I'm due on the course in two hours and I don't have a care in the world." "No, it's not the work, well it is...." He stopped his polishing of the clubs and looked up at me, shocked. "We have an agreement." "No - you can go golfing, you get your time off. It's just that ..." I didn't know quite how to say it. Dad put his polishing cloth down and sat back on the old sofa, reaching for his cigars. "just what" "Well.." His face blanched, half shouting "You not got a girl pregnant, have you?" "NO!" "Thank god, then what is it?" "I think, In a few months, I may have to leave the farm." "Why? What have you done? You haven't got yourself in trouble with the Police?" "No - it's nothing like that." The shout of "Dinner" from the kitchen was just like the bell at the end of a round, I had a little time to work out how I was going to tell them." During dinner, I finally gave them the story, excluding my problem with Daniel, about how I was now a singer. What happened at the show and what George Michael had said. When I showed them the review Mum was beaming and insisted that she could get it framed. Later that night we had a far more deep discussion of how we'd have to hire someone to help while I wasn't there. All based on an if. .............. Early Monday afternoon I was lying on my bead relaxing. Thinking about Daniel again when the phone rang. Mum shouted up "David! It's for you." "Thanks Mum." I rolled off the bed and ran down the stairs, taking the phone from her, I said "Hello." "Hi David, it's John. We need you in town this afternoon." "Why? - what's up" "Just something you need to be in on. Only that Chrysalis Records wants to sign us up." "You're kidding." "No - straight up." "This afternoon." "No no no, not this afternoon." Pausing for a breath he continued "They want to see us at their studios in London on Friday. But we've only got one song and we need more." "I can make it this afternoon, mornings are definitely right out but afternoons are fine as long as I'm home before dark. I have to bring the cows in for milking." "Great - Mafeking at 2:00." "I'll be there." Putting the phone down I went into the kitchen where Mum was drinking a mug of tea and reading the paper. "Mum, I've got to go into Chester." "OK dear, but remember your dad wont be back until 8:00 and the cows will need milking." "Don't worry, I'll be back." I kissed her cheek, grabbed my shoes and was on my way. .............. The fluorescent lights were driving back the dark shadows of the hall to their furthest reaches as we planned. Sat crossed legged in a rough circle we discussed what we were going to do. Craig and Jan were the writers of the band but they admitted that they were stumped when it came to lyrics. The idea of writing songs had only entered their minds when I had joined the group and they hadn't yet tried. If I was going to sing for the record producers it would be other peoples songs. The discussion ranged over lots of styles of music and although the band was suited to medium to light instrumental rock, my voice was far more suited to ballads or light rock. Daniel brought the conversation around to love songs. "Why not do rock love songs with the odd ballad then, they're light even the heavy metal groups lighten up when doing love songs. I love a good thrash session as much as anyone but we aren't that good at heavy rock." Tony caught on to Daniel's enthusiasm "Yeah. All the songs I've heard Dave sing have been love songs. He's great at them." John wasn't sure. "We don't have many arrangements for love songs, all of our stuff is instrumental." Martin or Michael said "We don't need to do much arranging, not if we do classic love songs." The other then picked it up "We all know them so well, all we have to do is work out the counterpoints." Jan broke in with "How many songs do we need for Chrysalis." Everyone looked at John "Well they want to meet with us at 10 on Friday, but they did say it wouldn't be for more than an hour." "OK, given that it's under an hour, plus we'll be talking as well, then we wont be playing for more than half an hour. So with our instrumental stuff five songs should be enough." "We've already done `Show me Heaven' so we only need four. Four days and four songs - one each day." Tony looked at me "Dave you've got a love song album in your car, let's see what you've got and whether we need music." "OK, but there are others I've got - I'll bring them all." I left to get my tapes. Tony was plugging his Walkman in to one of the amps, when I got back "Here they are." Passing one to him "Try this one it's my favourite." Tony started playing each track and after about thirty seconds looked at each of us for a reaction. `Wet Wet Wet' with `Goodnight girl' was first and Craig shook his head before the intro. was finished. `Foreigner' and "I want to know what love is' was second it played for a couple of verses before Jan shook his head. John said "No way" to `Frankie goes to Hollywood's The power of love'. Then in quick succession we turned down `Without you', 'True', `Unchained Melody', `I got you babe', `Don't turn around', `Please don't go', `He ain't heavy' and `I'm not in love'. I was beginning to lose heart, none of these songs were suitable. The sound of the bands and the arrangement of the music was synonymous with the songs. We were going no where fast and then with the next song we started to exchange looks of interest. Tony sitting hunched over his Walkman looked up smiling and I grinned. We'd found song number two. It was gone 5 when we finished, but we all left the hall smiling. .............. When I got back home it wasn't quite dark but it was twilight. Mum had started to panic and scolded me for being late even though there was still 10 minutes before normal milking time. The cows seemed to take it far more serenely, the herd had pulled together by the gate ready to go. It was gone seven thirty before I sat down for my supper, Hardened potatoes, dried pork chops and crispy sprouts all served with baked on glue for gravy. Not forgetting my mum watching me eat it with comments about arriving home on time. Night time was Heaven and Hell for me. Dreams of Daniel plagued me, intense pleasurable feelings and emotions tied to a loss that I couldn't bear .............. For comments, constructive criticism and so on you can email me. Romanticiser@geocities.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Approved for posting - Mykkhal - ASSGM Moderator ASSGM Guidelines/FAQ: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/8885 ASSGM Archive: http://members.tripod.com/~assgm In the words of an ASSGM subscriber: "Hopefully jacking off is healthy. If not, I'll die soon." -------------------------------------------------------------------------