Sorocco, Lorenzo Bressia, Dirty Face Jimmy Dequarto, Salvatore
“Sally Shields” Shillitani. They are the members of the
commission. They are the backbone of La Cosa Nostra. It's rare for
them to be together in a public place.”
We are parked behind the Sicilian. Carmine is warning me about these strange characters as we approach. They are titans of the mobster world and they all look like it. They were the law and order of La Cosa Nostra. As I walk up to them I'm seeing all these larger than life gangster characters. The four men set themselves aside from their soldiers.
“Should we trust them?” I whisper over to Carmine.
shakes his head, “No. But I know one thing. They are the only
people who want my father gone more than I do.”
The dons are standing up looking at me with these judgemental eyes when we approach.
“Charming Carmine---is this the one you were talking about,” one of the Commission guys asks.
“Yes. Regis. My father's awaiting him inside,” Carmine explains.
“Send him in the front,” another commission guy says, “You're father will be distracted with him and we'll hit the restaurant from the back.”
heart races. I didn't think I had anything to do with this. I was
just here to make sure Danny and Patricia got out of the Sicilian in
“That wasn't part of the plan,” Carmine explains.
The four men look at Carmine and for a second I swear I think Carmine is as crazy as his pops. I wasn't part of this world but I knew you don't just fucking argue with the commission. Carmine has some balls though. He stands there. He has his chest bucked up and he's not backing down.
interrupt, “I'll go in there.”
“Not alone you're not...” Carmine says.
gave you an order Carmine. I'm coming with you.”
“You want my father distracted. There is no one that will distract him more than me.”
The four commission members stand there for a minute. They think about it. Then after a few seconds they agree. I watch as their men go around back. The commission has brought 5 cars worth of men with them.
Even with all of these men with them I have to admit that I'm nervous as fuck as Carmine and I make our way to the front.
“You'll need this,” I tell them.
Commission members look at me, “What is it?”
“It's a way to the back of the restaurant,” I explain to them, “It's the heart of Snow White...”
The restaurant is quiet when we walk in. Crazy Leo Fontana is sitting at a table with Nicky. Fontana's men immediately point guns at us when we walk in there. Carmine and I don't even get halfway across the room before we are being patted down for weapons.
The look on Fontana's face is pure joy.
“I ask you to bring me back papers and you bring me back this?” Leo Fontana asks.
He's smiling. He doesn't even mention Kairo. At this moment Kairo couldn't have even existed to Leo Fontana. He's so excited that he's choking on wine at the table.
“Sit...” the guys say.
I'm forced to sit next to Patricia at the round table. Carmine is forced to sit next to Nicky. Nicky looks down at the table. He's too scared of his father to say anything but he's worried. At this point I think we all are. Fontana's hoarse and crazy laugh fills the room.
“What the hell happened...” Patricia whispers to me.
I look away. I can't answer her right now.
“You killed my mother, you piece of shit,” Carmine says to his father.
Fontana's laugh is sickening. He has no sense of responsibility when it comes to this. He doesn't care. He's a cold heartless killer.
Fontana smiles, “My father was a gangster. In Italy. His father before him was a gangster. Family is the most important thing when it comes to this.
“And you are about to kill your own son,” Carmine states.
“Pops don't do it,” Nicky finally urges.
He's crying. Tears are falling down his cheeks. I feel bad for him. I have to admit. Nicky is about to say something else but Fontana hits him across the face so hard that he falls to the ground. Carmine struggles seeing this. I am scared Carmine is going to do something.
It's so important. Cornbread. Do you now how the mafia
“What is this a history lesson?” I ask.
“Carmine is your son,” I argue with him, “Isabella was your wife.”
“Shut up,” Carmine warns me, “This man doesn't give a fuck about family.”
ass. Funny. The mafia began in Sicily. Sicily was invaded by the
Normans in the 11th century and its people were forced into labor and
oppression once again. Every invasion of Sicily, thereafter,
resulted in native tribes seeking refuge in the hills of the island.
The refugees eventually developed a secret society of unification
intended to create a sense of family, based on Sicilian heritage.
The structure of the organization was built on the idea of family and
had a strong hierarchical make up. The "dons" were the
family heads, in charge of the mafia in every village. They had to
report to the "don of dons", who lived in Palermo, the
capital of Sicily. The don had to maintain the family. No matter
what. So when I say that family is important I mean the other
The mafia was what was important to him.
ordered my father's death,” I explain, “I didn't ask for
this. I'm not in the Mafia. To me family is the man who raised you.
My father was my fucking family...”
Carmine lets me talk this time without stopping me. The anger I have is something that I can't control. I don't care if I die.
sucks that you have been involved. It sucks your father was
“It sucks?” I ask, “That's all you have to say.”
“Shit happens,” Crazy Fontana tells me.
It's the same thing that he said to Big Paulie before he killed him. Now he was saying it to me. He was saying it to me as though this was the explanation for everything that was fucked up in this world.
beyond mad, “You know what. You're right. Shit
It's just then when the Commissions men enter the restaurant. They storm the restaurant at that moment. Crazy Fontana's men are gunned down first.
grabs me pulling me under the table. We all duck under there. I
watch from underneath the table as Crazy Fontana is shooting back at
the Commission men who came
Shots ring out.
He's aiming at them. He keep shooting.
More and more bullets even when his men are down. Even when Crazy Fontana is cornered he shoots more and more bullets back at the Commission. I'm shocked when he's shot in his leg. Crazy Fontana lifts the gun up though and aims it. He aims it one last time at the Commission members ready to kill them.
But the gun doesn't go off.
“He's out of bullets,” Carmine states, pulling me up.
We come up from behind the table.
“Shoot these fucking people,” Crazy Fontana tells Nicky.
Nicky is just standing there. He has his hands up. He's not giving the Commission a fight. He looks away from his father at that moment.
They are about to kill Crazy Fontana but all of a sudden I stop them.
Carmine looks over at me, “What are you doing?”
“I want to do it. He killed my father... I want to do it,” I say.
Crazy Fontana starts laughing. The commission men look over at me. I feel like I'm out of my place even asking something like this. I'm surprised though when one of members gives me a nod. One of the soldiers walks over to me. He hands me a gun. I'm struggling with this gun in my hand. I walk over to Crazy Fontana.
Crazy Fontana is cornered. He's laughing. He must know that he's not leaving here alive either way. All of his shit has finally caught up to him. He should have seen this coming a mile away, before he killed my father, before he killed his wife, before he killed Big Paulie and before he attempted to have his own son killed.
I was going to pay him back for all those things.
don't have to do this,” Carmine tells me, “I can do it
I shake my head, “I want to.”
“He doesn't have the BALLS,” Crazy Fontana laughs out loud at me, “He doesn't have the balls to----”
He stops talking.
Crazy Fontana stops talking because I've put a bullet in his head.
I've killed someone. I'm looking down at his body and I'm shocked that I actually just killed him. I just fucking killed someone and this person deserved it. He deserved to die.
Commission member looks over at me, “You're free to go. We'll
be reaching out to you about the short sale of the Sicilian. No one
will bother you.”
I look over at Patricia and Danny.
“Are you guys alright?” I ask.
nods, “Let's get out of here.”
It was over.
It was really all over.
me out,” I ask Carmine.
Carmine doesn't hesitate to grab my hand.
“I said you were free to leave. The Fontanas stay...” one of the Commission members say.
Something is wrong! Something is very wrong here.
“What?” Carmine asks.
gonna kill us!” Nicky screams out of no where, “CARMINE,
Nicky doesn't really get a chance to let it out. All of a sudden Nicky is shot. A bullet lands right in the middle of his head. I'm shocked at that moment.
The gun turns to Carmine!
stand in front of Carmine. I raise my gun and point it at the men.
There are at least 20 guns pointed at me right now. The shooters
really want Carmine. I'm the only one standing in the middle of
them. Carmine is backed up in a corner.
I'm the only thing between Carmine and getting a bullet like his brother Nicky.
“What the hell is going on!” Carmine says.
He looks down at Nicky. For the first time ever I hear panic in his voice as he looks at our brother dead on the ground. I'm so fucking scared. I'm so fucking nervous.
your friends and leave,” one of the Commission members tell me,
“This is Mafia business...”
“I'm not going anywhere,” I state.
Fontanas must die. All of them,” another member of the
Commission says, “We won't risk anymore
of this civil disobedience in Staten Island. We'll rebuild this
They wanted to kill Carmine just because. They wanted to kill Carmine for the same reason probably that his own father wanted to kill him. Carmine was a threat to them. I can see it in their eyes. I didn't have to be a part of their lives to know that this smart, charismatic, handsome young Italian boy with an attitude problem was a threat to these old decrepit men who were way past their prime.
“Cornbread,” I hear Patricia state.
Carmine tells me, “This is La Cosa Nostra business. You have
nothing to do with it.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” I tell Carmine.
I turn slightly to look at him. He must be able to see it in my eyes. He must be able to look at me and know that I mean it. They'll have to kill me here. I'm not leaving him. He wanted someone who was loyal who would be down with him no matter what. I was that person.
“Then you'll die with him,” a member of the Commission states.
“No the fuck it's not fine,” Carmine says, “GO!”
Carmine attempts to step out of my shadow but I push him back so hard that he falls to the ground. My hands are shaking. I'm scared. I know there is no way I can shoot my way out of here! I can feel my life hanging in the balance.
Is this such a bad way to die though?
Dying for love.
least Patricia and Danny are by the door. They'll let them leave.
They weren't interested in them. It was OK. Patricia was in tears.
Carmine was confused.
Danny just had this cold stone face on as he stares on.
Then Danny looks over at me and says.
“Bread,” Danny says.
“I'm not going,” I tell him, “I love this boy.”
when I realize Danny isn't saying Bread at all. Danny lifts up his
shirt and starts screaming into a button on his shirt, “RED!
CODE RED! CODE RED!”
I'm confused as fuck at that moment.
All of a sudden police swarm into this fucking place! My heart is racing when it happens. No one expects it. The Commission's soldiers are so concerned with me that they don't see the cops until it is much too late. Come attempt to shoot with the cops but they fail...miserably. The members of the Commission give up to the police almost immediately.
I'm shocked when it happens. My mouth is just hung open.
That's when I see them taking Carmine in cuffs...
“WAIT!” I scream out.
“Let him go,” Danny says.
I watch as the cop lets Carmine go. He listens to Danny. My mouth drops open as I watch the Commission and their soldiers get taken away in handcuffs. The Sicilian looks a mess. It is destroyed with bullets. It looks like a disaster fucking zone. I can't believe it looks so bad and the truth is I don't even care.
just happy Carmine is alive.
“You're an undercover cop?” Patricia asks Danny.
smiles, “I've been at the Sicilian for almost a year hoping to
get more information on the Commission.”
I shake my head, “Oh my god...”
Danny was a fucking undercover cop. This guy had been fucking LIVING with me. I'm shocked by it to the point that my mouth just drops open.
“Your friend is a pig...” Carmine tells me.
“Watch it,” Danny says shaking my head.
I ask, “Why the fuck didn't you stop these people a long time ago? Crazy Fontana was gonna kill us.”
He didn't do things when countless people died. What the fuck was he waiting for? What the fuck was he waiting for until he got his people to act? How many times were our lives in danger? Danny did nothing. I was so confused by it. If he was undercover shouldn't he have called in his people for Crazy Fontana a while ago.
shakes his head, “The mission wasn't about Crazy Fontana.”
“He wanted the Commission,” Carmine states.
all makes sense. He was waiting to get the Commission out of hiding.
been staking out the Sicilian for a long time waiting for this
opportunity,” Danny explains before looking over at me,
“Because of Cornbread...we got it.”
“I noticed the strange van around the corner,” Patricia explains, “I didn't think anything of it.”
“The Commission was our target. I had to pretend to work here.”
“Are you even gay?” I ask.
shakes his head, “Actually no. I'm quite straight. I just
needed a way to relate to you. I needed to get as much info on the
inner workings of the Mafia as possible.”
I feel betrayed. First Kairo...now Danny.
used me to get closer to Carmine? To get closer to the Mafia.”
“I did my job,” Danny explains, “I had to pretend to be a lot of things that I wasn't. One thing I didn't pretend though is to be your friend Cornbread.”
Carmine gives him a funny look, “Pigs can't be people's friends.”
“Oh yeah. Well because of Cornbread I'm going to let you go---Carmine. I could send you to jail for years with all the information that I have with you. I'm going to turn the other cheek. Somehow I'll lose that information.”
Carmine and I look at one another.
I'm shocked that Danny is doing this for us.
“Thank you,” I state.
“Go. Get out of here now,” Danny explains.
I don't hesitate. I'm running out of there. Before I leave though Danny pulls Carmine back. He says something to Carmine. I'm not sure what it is.
“Thanks for walking me to my door,” I tell Carmine.
It's awkward to say the least.
“So you are leaving in the morning?” Carmine asks me.
“I'm giving the Sicilian to Patricia. She's always been much better with this world than I am. I'm going to leave. I'm going to disappear,” I explain to Carmine.
Carmine hangs at the door. He doesn't seem any good at goodbyes. It was clear he wasn't any good at them when he left me the first fucking time without saying goodbye. Now he just hangs out at the door. There is this strong sense of awkwardness.
So much shit has gone on today. Nicky was dead. Leo Crazy Fontana was dead. The Commission was arrested. Danny was a fucking COP.
There was a pause. It's awkward. A part of me just wants to say bye and slam the door in his face. Instead I just hold it open.
“What are you going to do?” I ask him.
“Go claim my brother's body. Probably head to Philly. We got some family down there. I want to give him a proper burial,” he explains to me.
I nod, “Then what?”
“The mafia has to be rebuilt. Joe Bananas is probably going to try to claim the title of Boss if I don't do something.”
“Don't fucking start with that face, Cornbread,” Carmine tells me, “You knew who I was before you met me.”
He has a point. I am so disappointed in him. He had just gone to war with his own father and now he was ready to go to war with Joe Bananas over whatever the fuck remained of the Moretti family. What the fuck was that even about? Why did it even fucking matter?
Leo Fontana was gone.
The Commission was gone.
was he fighting for?
I look at him and I just realize I have to come to the understanding that it's just him. It's just Carmine.
I'll see you around I guess,” I explain.
Carmine is surprised when I say that, “Are you going to miss me?”
“Of course,” I explain, “Isn't that what you do to dead men? You miss them.”
Carmine stayed in this life he was going to die. I knew it. He knew
it. I wanted to sit here and argue that point with Carmine but it
was pointless. He was a gangster. This is what he knew. This was
the life that he understood most. There was no point in teaching him
Carmine doesn't seem to get it. He takes a step back but them stop and peers at me, “Well then...”
“Goodbye Cornbread,” Carmine tells me.
“Goodbye Carmine,” I respond.
Awkward seconds pass. I start to close the door but it doesn't stop all the way. I look down to see why the door hasn't stopped.
Carmine's foot is in the door.
I open my mouth asking him what he's doing but as soon as I open my mouth Carmine kisses me. He picks me up at that moment.
His mouth is all over mine as he carries me into my apartment. He kisses my neck. He kisses my cheeks. He kisses all over me. I feel my heart racing as I feel his heart pressed up against me. His tongue enters my mouth over and over with this deep passion that I can't understand.
“I love you so fucking much,” I tell him as he lays me down my bed.
Carmine rips his shirt off. He takes his pants off. He takes off his underwear. He's standing in front of me completely hard. His dick is oozing precum. His dark eyes are undressing me. There is so much desire under them.
“I love you too.”
The words come out of his mouth and blow my fucking mind. I have never in my life taken my clothes off so fast. I'm naked underneath him and he climbs on top of me. His warm body is pressed up against me.
He lifts my legs over my head.
“Go slow,” I say.
“Fuck that...I need you now,” He responds.
He spits in the palm of his hand and jerks his dick a few times lubing it up. Then he enters me immediately. He's full of pressure. He's full of passion. His dick goes deep inside of me and I scream out in pain at first but it's such a good feeling pain. I love every moment of how rough he is. This isn't a guy whose going to seduce me. He's not going to romance me.
He loves me but his love is like this. It hurts. It's painful. It's exciting.
It scares the fuck out of me and I wouldn't rather it any other way.
I wake up in a cold sweat. It's morning. Good dick is able to put you to sleep I guess. I roll over at that moment smiling.
“That was amazing...” I state.
when I notice that he isn't there.
This isn't happening again.
This isn't FUCKING happening again.
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. He left me again. That disloyal motherfucker up and left me while I was sleeping again. I don't know why I expected anything different.
I walk out into the living room. I feel so much pain. I feel so much fucking disappointment. I can't believe I allowed this shit to happen to me yet again.
“Yo---keep your fucking voice down and stop screaming like a little pussy,” Carmine explains.
“You're still here.”
is in my living room. He went to his place and got some of his
stuff. I notice his suitcase there. Carmine has this look on his
face as he smiles knowing dam well I was panicking and enjoying every
moment of me looking back at him with relief.
“Of course I'm still here. I'm always going to be here for you,” Carmine tells me, “When you got that real loyalty, sometimes things stay the same. Sometimes shit doesn't happen...”
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