From: "Ascaridta" Subject: My father's lover--http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/5631 Date: 10 Sep 1996 09:13:31 GMT Organization: Geocities My father's lover ************************************************************ This story may contain graphic material mature in nature. Reader's discretion is advised. Please send any questions and comments to ascaridata@geocities.com or visit http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/5631 for more details ************************************************************ Chapter 1 The room was very quiet and seemed to be very cold. There were quite a bit of furniture in this room and it seemed to be a bedroom. The sun still hadn't come up yet and it was so gloomy in the room. On the king size bed, there was a young guy, naked, trying to sleep. Joe had troubles sleeping lately, and he didn't know what should he blamed for. His ex, his dad, or himself. If you asked Joe about his family, he probably said he was from a broken family. His dad divorced his mom when he was 20. He never understood his dad but knew his dad didn't love his mom. He never looked upon to his dad except when he needed money to go to college. When he met his ex, he thought he was going to be lucky since he wanted to be loved by another male. Now his ex was going to leave him and marry a woman. He said it was so much pressure to be gay and he wanted to be normal, to have a family. Joe still loved Paul, his ex, deep down. Every time when it came to midnight, he would sleep on his bed thinking about Paul. Thinking about Paul always made Joe's cock became a hot iron. And then the heat would spread to all his body, especially his brain. Joe would think of how Paul touched him, the kiss, and he would never forget the first time he got a man's mouth encircled his penis. At this point, Joe would try to stop thinking about Paul. He knew, better than anyone, if he let his imagination go, he would realize he wouldn't have Paul anymore. Now Paul maybe doing the same thing he used to do to him but now to a woman. Joe still remembered the time he met Paul. They worked together in a company. They didn't know each other well only after they had a project together. They also sometime came across each other in the company's gym. He remembered once he was taking shower in the locker's room and a guy came to him and asked for some body shampoo. He remembered what a beautiful smile that guy had. "Probably you don't know me. We are on the same project this month. I am Paul." Paul reached out his hand in the shower. It was so weird to shake hands in the shower, Joe thought. "I am Joe. So how's the project goes?" "Not too good. Part of the data we have found out is incorrect." "Which part?" "The part that is about the machine code for instruction cx4000." "You must be kidding. That is the part I am responsible for." "You can wait for tomorrow to see it for yourself. But it will be too late then since the project costs 2 million dollars, and the guy who fuck it up will be really fucked up." Joe didn't say anything. He never knew he would make such a mistake. Paul was watching him, smiling. "You are not gay, aren't you?" "Not I am not." "That's good. I can take you to the office and we can fix it tonight. I only do this because you are not gay." They got out of the shower and headed to the office. It was very late and no one was in the office. Paul pointed out the mistake and Joe fixed it immediately. "How can I thank you, Paul. You save my life." "It is good you are not gay." Paul said as he put his hand on Joe's face, caressing slowly. Joe felt so embarrassed. Not because it was the first time he had a guys' hand on his face, but also part of his body reacted to this very fast and he didn't wear his underwear after the shower. Paul easily spotted out the bulge. "I guess that means yes." Paul turned around, looking at Joe directly eye to eye. Never had a man looking at him before, Joe was blushed. "You look so cute when you are nervous." He said as he kissed him. A woman's kiss and a man's kiss are different to Joe. When he kissed a woman, he had to be a good kisser. He would try to impress her. When a man kissed him, he just be himself, so relaxed. Never been so closed to another man. Never feel so good to be with a man. Paul's hands reached to Joe's zipper. When Paul felt him, Joe almost came. He felt weird but also good. he remember the time when he let a woman felt him. He didn't like it. Her hands were cold and she rub him very hard, not to mention those nails, that it actually hurt him. Paul was different. Perhaps a guy knows how to handle another guy. Paul took off Joe's pant, with some help from Joe. Joe's male symbol sprang out, pointing to Paul's face. It was so beautiful. It was so big, but not ridiculously big, round, long, uniformly cylindrical, and pink. It looked as if a fresh mushroom waiting to be harvested, so fresh, still a bit wet from the shower but already smell, just a bit, like a real one. "May I?" Paul asked. Before Joe understood what Paul really meant, Paul took the mushroom to his mouth and he decided to savor the taste of Joe's mushroom till the last drop.... After the "mushroom tasting" incident, Joe and Paul spent quite a lot of time together. They soon found out they had many common interests. They both like to work out and it always claim their minds. They both like going to movies, and stuffs like that. Sure, there were time they would argue or want to spend some time alone. They didn't discuss about commitment but they both knew they would only see each other exclusively. What is love? No one knows. Could this be love? One thing they knew was that they wanted to be with each other, either physically or mentally. Time pass and now they were living together. They didn't as aggressive for sex as before. They would be content even they watched TV together. Well, you never know what's going on under the blanket with the hands there. Several months living together and they only had oral sex. They both new to anal sex and they didn't really want to experiment it. They both wanted to play it safe. One day, it was a very hot summer day. The telephone rang and it was for Paul. The phone call was about his uncle. Paul's parents had died already and he was very closed to his uncle. Knowing how important to Paul, they went to the hospital. Despite the heat of the summer, the hospital was very cold. Ominously quiet, his uncle lying almost deadly on the bed. There was no on there except Paul and Joe since his uncle had no children. He is gay, Paul explained to Joe. Paul didn't talk much the whole day and Joe didn't know what to say neither. Joe didn't what was in Paul's mind but he sure had been shocked by his uncle sudden death. Sitting together, quite a while, silent, Paul finally spoke. "Fuck me." "What?" "I said fuck me!" "Paul, you don't mean it. You are only upset because of your uncle." "Please don't ask. I just want to feel you inside of me. You are the only one I want to be inside of me." Joe knew some time men would use sex as outlet of their anguish and frustration. He knew he loved the man now more than ever. He knew how making sex, penetrating him meant much to him. It would be their first time. Joe didn't move but Paul already took out the lube. "Where's the condoms?" Joe asked without much enthusiasm. He didn't really want to make love to Paul when sex was used to release anguish, although he had tried it once or several times. "We both tested HIV negative and we together for over 9 months now. You are not going to tell me you have been with other guys?" "Paul, you know me now, do you? How could I cheat on you? I only think we should have safe sex." "Joe, I want to feel you. The real you, totally." Paul bent down to kiss Joe. They could kiss for hours if they want to. This time Paul only kissed him for a while and then he began to unbutton Joe shirt. Joe's nipples were like roses, sprang out on his chest and waiting for the rain. Paul carefully licked each of them, bite them softly until Joe made some strange noise in his throat. It was not really strange noise since Paul had heard it many time already. The first time they made love, Paul thought Joe made too much noise, now he thought Joe's too quiet. Knowing Joe was really, Paul took off Joe's pants and began to suck on the Joe. Joe responded with morning rain on the mushroom. You know, that kind of water droplet you find on plant if you wake up very early. Paul began to unfasten his cloth. Joe reached out, kissing Paul's ears, asked, "You sure?" "Yes, I am sure." "You know we can always do this later." "I want it tonight." Not yet finished the talking Paul put his hand on Joe's most sensitive part of the body and squeezed very hard. "Stop!" Joe tried to pull himself away but Paul was squeezing him very hard. "I will stop only if you shut up and do what I said." "Fuck the hell of you." "That's what I want" Paul grimed. Paul lubed Joe up very well that Joe almost came. Then he carefully rolled up a condom on Joe. They looked at each other for a while. What's next? They didn't know except they had heard about it or watched form those movie. Paul put some lube on Joe's hand and pull Joe hand to his ass. "Paul, I don't know...." "What, I didn't squeeze you hard enough?" "Take it, ha.." Joe put his finger into Paul unexpectedly and Paul whole body shake a bit. "You SOB." "I love you more than anyone. don't call me that." "You know I don't mean it. "I know." That night, Joe finally penetrated Paul. He was surprised how good it felt also he felt sorry for Paul. After Joe had finished his load inside Paul. Paul pulled out and went to bathroom. Joe wanted to ask Paul how he felt but he knew Paul wanted to be alone. They didn't talked the whole night. Chapter 2 Morning came, Joe waked up. Facing the half empty house, he felt even more emptier. Paul left already, for another woman. They were going to engaged next month. Joe wanted to go, to go somewhere he could find out why, to find out reason, to hide, to rest or just be no body at all. Nothing came to his mind except home. Home? What a funny concept! Where's home? Suddenly came to his mind was his father's house. His mother died last year and now his father lived by himself. He already packed up and he was ready to go. TO go without the old memory. One thing he should do but he didn't do was he should called his dad first. Oh well. What the hack. If his father wouldn't let his only child stay for a few days, he only always lived in a motel. He decided to take the morning train. He went to the station early and there was no one there. He went to the bathroom and saw there was a man doing something not supposed to do in public. Normally Joe would just walked away, but this time he just walked to the urinal and started to relieve himself. That guy starred at him. Joe knew he had a beautiful cock, at least that's what Paul told him. "Want a blow job, buddy?" The stranger asked. Joe was not interested at all. That guy lean over and tried to kissed Joe's cock but Joe averted him. While Joe was trying to left, he suddenly thinking Paul with another woman. Probably Paul had a woman blow him off. Probably Paul would kiss that woman the way he used to kiss him and said the same thing when they made love. He changed his idea. "OK, you can only suck me but nothing else." That guy didn't hesitate and took that nice piece of equipment in his mouth. Joe tried to imagine it was Paul. Joe knew many guys or women would like to serve him since he was told he had a beautiful cock; however, he couldn't have Paul. While still trying to imagine Paul, he felt a hand was moving on his thigh, moving closer to his balls, then his ass. His ass. He thought of the time he penetrated Paul. That time he only got the head inside of Paul but obviously Paul was hurt. "Do you want me to stop?" "No, sat where you are." "Paul, I don't really want to hurt you. We don't need this." He was trying to pull out but Paul suddenly pull himself to Joe and the mushroom entirely planted inside of Paul. Surprised and hurt, Joe asked, "What you want to hurt yourself? I had enough. If that is what you want, take it." He started to push in and out. He was surprised how good it felt but also how quiet Paul was. He tried to concentrate the feeling of his dick but he was hurt to see Paul hurt himself like that. The worst was he couldn't do anything to help Paul. Now, that stranger's finger tried to penetrated Joe. "You fucking bastard. I said you can only suck but nothing else." "What's your problem? Everyone likes it." "Everyone likes it but no everyone can do it." Joe left the bathroom and the train came not too long after. He step in and thought of what was going on. He remembered he wanted Paul do the same to him the next day. That day, he cooked some very good dinner and prepared some expensive condom and lube. He was waiting for Paul to come home but Paul was late. It was almost night and Paul still hadn't been home. He started to panic. It had never happened to him before. He tried to figure who to call , then Paul opened the door. "Oh, I was worried about you." "So what?" "What?" "You are not my family. I don't need you." "You are drunk, Paul." "No, I am not. I want a family and you are not." "You are only a faggot. Faggot has no family. I want to have kids and a wife." "What are you talking about?" "See my uncle. He is gay and he has a lover, but what? Now he died lonely in the hospital and I don't want to be like him." "I am your family." "Not you are not. I mean normal family. Kids, wife, you know." "You crazy. Normal family? Me abnormal? I have got some thing maybe after you have fun with me you will forget it. I know you have been stressed lately." Paul looked at the table and the condoms and he understood what Joe meant. Joe reached out his hand and felt Paul. He tried to turn him on by rubbing it and Paul began to grow in Joe's hands. Paul took his hand away. "I ain't going to score with you faggot. I am leaving now." "Where you are going? What's wrong with being in home?" "Bye now." Paul left and he never came back. Only a few days ago he received the invitation to his engagement party. His eyes were wet and he didn't know what to do. He knew Paul was hurt and confused and he wanted to help but he didn't know how to help. He was so powerless. Would Paul be happier with a woman than with him? What happen if Paul was right about family? Too much thinking he didn't realize the train had come to the station. He got off and looked around. Nothing had changed much. It was still a small town with only a few hundred people. His house was not far away form the station. Joe decided to walk home. While walking, he thought the way his dad treated his family. He was not nice but he never hit him or anything. He was only very cold to his family. Joe never understood why. His mother was a very beautiful woman and he himself was a very good student. The house looked as if it was yesterday. Joe peeped at the windows and found out nothing much had changed except he didn't see any of his mother's picture. He still got the key but he didn't know would it still work or not. Well, why not try it. The key worked and he stepped into slowly. He could hear some snoring from the bedroom. The familiar voice was like an old friend. He remembered how hard time he had when he tried to sleep when he was young because of his dad's snoring. HE almost could smell the old memory. He stepped into the bedroom and saw his dad, an old man, half naked, sleeping on the bed. He still looked the same except he had more white hairs. He looked so content. It was hard to imagine how would a man so innocent would divorce his mom. Something beside his dad had caught his attention. There was another person, sleeping half naked. Totally there were two person in the bed. One was his parent and the other was not. To his surprise, he was a guy about his dad's age. The idea that his dad was gay never came to his mind. How came? Isn't gay people can tell who's gay and who's not? He closed the door slowly and went to the neighbor house to borrow the telephone. His dad answered the phone. "Who's this?" "It's me, Joe." "Where are you? What the hell you call so early?" "It is 9:30 am already." "I thought you won't call me long distance." "I am not. It is a local call." "Where are you? "I am right outside the house." "Why don't you come on in?" "I don't have the key." Joe decided a little lie was not going to be a big deal. Chapter 3 He walked in and the house seemed to be quiet. "This is my roomie, Pat. Oh, I mean Patrick." Joe's dad said with a bit hesitation. "HI, Patrick, how are you?" Patrick had just woke up and he said very slowly, "Nice to meet you, Joe. I have heard a lot about you from your dad." "Funny, my dad never tell any one about his family." "Joe, come to the living room and have a seat. I have something to tell you." All three of them walked to the living room. The time they walked form the door to the living room seemed to be longer than it was. "You are right. Your dad never talk about family to other people except to family." Joe's dad put his hand on Patrick's thigh, and Joe's dad said, "We are lovers." Joe didn't say anything, just be very quiet. "I have no problems with that. Could I still have my room?" "Your room is now the guest room. It is still early. Why don't we have breakfast.?" "No thanks, dad. I want to walk around." "OK, if you wish." Joe didn't wait his father had finished and he walked outside. HE never thought of his dad being gay. If they could talked about it a few years ago, things would be a lot better, he thought. He came to a pond where he used to come often when he was young. He remembered once his dad accused of him doing thing he didn't really do. His dad hit him and he ran to the pond until his dad came and apologized. Every time when he felt depressed or angry, he would come to this pond. Looking at the unlimited, all the anguish seemed to be washed away. If I was as "wide- minded" as the sky, I would have no trouble, he told himself. He noticed there was a reflection of another guy on the water. It was his dad. "Hi, young man. What's going on?" Joe didn't said anything. He just starred at the water for a about an minute. He finally spoke, "Dad, why didn't you tell me you are gay?" "You didn't tell me either." Joe was shocked. He thought no one in his family knew. "I knew you were gay when you were very young. Gay men always have a way to tell if another man is gay or not. They call it GAYDAR, right? Ha..." "Why did you say anything about it, dad?" "I was very frustrated when I realized you were gay. I thought it was my fault that you are gay because you are my son. I kept thinking where has gone wrong. Then I told myself it must be my sin. I tried to cover my past by marrying your mother. I thought a good woman is all it takes for a gay man to be straight. I felt so guilty every time I found you looking at other guys." "Dad...." "I was going to give up my straight life since it was totally a failure. Your mother is a nice woman but I could never be closed t her. I haven't hurt your mother, and Patrick." Joe lift up his head and looked at his dad. He noticed his dad's eyes were wet. "I met Patrick before your mom. We were love at first sight. We had stayed together for about 5 yrs. Then there was a promotion in my company but the company only expected married people to be promoted. I was desperate. I thought I had no future being gay. All my friends and co-workers have kids and wives. I told myself I wanted to be liked everybody else. I left Pat and I then I married your mom. It was a big mistake in my life." Joe began to find himself see things very blurry. His eyes were wet too. "Dad, I have to tell you something. About a few years ago, I met a wonderful guy named Paul. We were very closed together...." "What do you mean by `We were'?" "He left me for another woman." "Son, I am sorry." "I want to go some where but I have no idea in my mind except home." "You know you can always come back if you want to." His dad reached out his arms and hugged Joe. It was the first time Joe felt so closed to another man. It was nothing sexual but emotional. He suddenly understood his dad. Joe lay his head on his dad's chest and his head brushed Joe's hair with his hands. "I guess I know what should I do." "....." "I love Paul and I at least have to let him know I love him." Joe stood up. "We'd better go or Patrick may get jealous. He may think we have those gay father-son scene." "Ha...." His dad pinched Joe's butt suddenly. "Dad!" "just kidding. Paul is a lucky man." "And so is Patrick." They walked back to the house. Patrick was standing by the door. "Hey, breakfast is ready. Mr. and Mr. Green." "Thanks Mr. green" Joe said. "Hey, I am not Mr. Green I am Mr. Johnson-Green." "OK. But I guess I am not going to have breakfast." "Where you are going now, son?" "I want to catch the next train back to where I live. I have something to tell Paul." "Go, son. Do what you need to do. I am proud of you." "Thanks dad. And nice meeting you, Patrick. Oh, don't let this old man need any young guy. He may touch their butts!" "What do you mean?" "Like this" Joe said as he pinched his Dad's butt. "Ha... Got you. I have to go." "Bye." Both Patrick and Joe's dad standing by the door, looking at Joe until they couldn't see Joe anymore. They both knew Joe was going to face something very hard. Chapter 4 It was about 6 PM the time he got home. There were many good looking guys in their suit walking everywhere but he didn't pay much attention. He was thinking what should he told Paul but he decided he would say anything that came to his mind when he saw Paul. He took a shower and then took off. It was now almost 8pm and he was now standing at the door of Paul's apartment. He rang the bell. "Who's this?" A familiar voice yelled out from the apartment. "It's me, Joe." "Go away." "I have to talk to you." He waited for a awhile then Paul opened the door, only larger enough to talk but not large enough for Joe to come in. "I have guest here. Go home." Paul had changed a lot. He remembered how happy Paul would when Paul saw him. He already made up his mind. "I have just visited my dad." "Is he doing OK?" Paul knew about Joe's family. His voice softened. "He is doing very well. I found out he and gay today." "What? Your mean daddy is gay." "He is not mean after all. I understand now. He is now living with a guy named Patrick. They used to be lovers and my dad had left him and married my mom. He had regretted all his life and now he is doing what he likes the best: be himself." "Joe you don't understand. I am not your dad. I know what I want and you can't give me." "Paul, I can't borne you kids and I know you are too shameful to talk about me with your co-workers. I just want you to know I love you." "I love you too but life is not easy. I..ah... I am going to get marry next month." "I know and that's why I try to stop you. You will regret." "No I don't." "You are hurting you, me and your wife-to-be. Three persons at the same time. Do you know that?" Paul didn't answered. Then he looked into Joe. He kissed Joe. "Sorry, I am too chicken. I can't be gay." "You are who you are. No one is perfect but we sure can make each other happier." "I just want to settle down." "You can never settle down if you don't have what your heart really wants." "I know what I want." A voice yelled out from the apartment. It was a female voice, "What's going on, Paul?" "Nothing, Pat. Nothing." "Could I at least come in and see Pat?" "No, you can't" "Please..." Pat at time was walking to the door. "Who's he, Paul?" "It is my friend, Joe." "Why don't you let him in?" Joe looked at Pat for a while. She was a very beautiful woman. Joe then looked at Paul. His eyes were so watery. he knew he had to go or he would cry before Pat and Paul. "You are a luck man" Joe said and he left. Sleeping on his bed alone again. He kept thinking about his dad, Patrick, and Paul. There was nothing he could do. The telephone rang and it was his dad. He didn't pick up the telephone and let the answering machine talk to his dad. Tired, he wanted to sleep but he couldn't. He remembered there was some sine in the kitchen. He normally didn't drink since he was very allergic to alcohol. Anyway, he got up to the kitchen and open the cabinet looking for the wine but it had disappeared. "Don't drink if you can't drink." a voice came from the living room. There was a man sitting by the TV drinking from the bottle. It was Paul. "What are you doing here?" "It Pat. She left me" "Why?" "She said she can't trust me anymore." "Why?" " She said when she saw me looking at you. She said she had never seen me looking at any one, even her, like that before. She said she knew I would regret." "So what are you doing here? She dumped you and now you tried to get back to me?" "No." He weep. "Sorry, I am so weak. I really don't want to be gay. I love you but I am so weak that I can't face other people." "Yes, you are a weak bitch." Joe took away the bottle and started to drink some. "Neither Pat nor I know why we wanted to get married. She wants to get married because she wants to settle down and she thinks I have a nice job. I want to get married because I thought it is what a man should do." "Not always. We are different." "Forgive me, Joe. I do love you and I know you are the world to me. Pat is right. You are right. I don't know what I really want and I try to make myself happy with something I don't really want to." Paul said as he laid his head on Joe's chest. "It is all right. I was weak, too. I thought I could not give you what a woman could give you and I wanted to quit. I didn't think of the real you. I should know you were struggling with yourself." "No, you are not weak." Paul kissed on Joe's lips softly. "Don't say it again." "The time when I was inside you. I didn't really want to do that. But I can tell you I was inside you not just physically but not spiritually. I know you from the heart." "I want to know you ,too. "What do you mean?" "I hope the alcohol makes you more relaxed.".... [Next morning] "Morning honey. How are you?" Paul said as he kissed Joe's forehead softly. "It hurt." "Tell me about it." "I guess we are even." "Ha...." there were laughter in the house and the sun came up again. They still didn't know what love is but they knew it didn't matter as long as they had each other.