Date: Thu, 08 Jun 2000 06:50:26 GMT From: Paul Subject: New Beginning - Chapter 8 A new Beginning - Chapter Eight This is a fantasy story involving male to male relations. If reading stories like this is something you don't want to be doing, or it is illegal where you are, I'd suggest you leave. If not, then read on. This is a fantasy and condoms are not used. In the real world you should always practice safe sex. Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or in any other manner without the express, written consent of the author (But I'm likely to give permission if you ask). This is my first attempt at story writing, so I'd like some feedback. Email me at yvonneva@hotmail.com "Paul, are you there? Paul?" I tried to stay in the comfortable blackness but the voice persisted. "Come on Mate, you've got to wake up. Come back to me man." I was shaken gently and I tried feebly to push the hands away from me so I could return to my comfort. "He's coming around." There was jubilation in the voice and unexpected warmth. Then there was a commotion. "Let us through. Come on, make way." Another voice, unfamiliar, getting louder as it got closer, then more hands gently cradled me and a rapid discussion took place. As I gradually came back to awareness I realised that these must be Ambos (Ambulance paramedics) that had been called when I passed out. I struggled a little and tried to speak. "Just lie still, we're trying to work out what is wrong with you." Again an unfamiliar voice, this one female. The first voice I'd heard pleading for me to wake up I finally identified as Trevor's. He'd sounded pretty worried. I was surprised that he was here at all given the abuse I'd hurled at him. A cold cloth, placed across my forehead, was a blessed relief. I hadn't realised how hot I was until that moment. The cool was so delicious that I started to drift off again. "Oh no you don't, come back here." I was gently shaken awake again and it was clear that I was not going to be allowed to sleep. I gradually opened my eyes. It wasn't easy, the lids felt like they were made of concrete, but I managed. The first thing I focused on was Trevor's face, which was a foot in front of me. His eyes were huge and round, narrowly holding back tears. I realised he had a hold of my hand, rubbing my forearm until it was nearly hurting. I could also see that there was a crowd around us, watching to see what was happening. I think that if they hadn't been there Trevor would have been openly in tears. I managed a weak smile. "What happened?" "You passed out. Sorry I threw the bucket of water at you. I didn't mean to give you such a shock." There was entreaty in his voice; a barely supressed request for forgiveness. "Its OK Trev. Just took me by surprise that's all. Sorry to go off the deep end. I don't know what got into me." "Sunstroke, that's what got into you." The same gruff male voice I'd heard earlier intruded between us. "How long you been out here today? It's 2pm, what time did you come down here?" "Um, around 9am I think." "You drink anything while you were here?" "I don't think I remembered to. My mind was elsewhere." As I said that I had to look away from Trevor, who'd been holding my eyes all through this conversation with the ambulance man. When I looked back at him one of his eyebrows had risen in query. I mustered the energy and gave my head a little shake, hoping he'd realise that I meant I would talk to him later. "Well you aren't going to be lying down on your back for a while as your badly sunburnt, and you're also badly dehydrated. That, coupled with standing up quickly when you were drenched, was why you passed out. There shouldn't be anything longterm out of this, but you're going to have to treat that sunburn for a while." As he said this there was a wonderful cool sensation as something was smeared over my back. Another case of not realising how hot I was, the cool was so wonderful. I groaned softly as some of the heat and pain lessened. "This will help stop any further burning, but you'd better get home and take care of yourself for a few days." I looked over at the voice, finding a face that was somewhere near my own age. I thought to myself that he was quite cute, or at least would have been in other circumstances. A glass of water was placed in my hands and I was ordered to drink slowly. Again, blessed coolness. >From there I started to feel much better. The crowds started to disperse now that the show was over. Soon I was able to stand and the Ambos started to leave. I thanked them warmly for their help. As soon as they left I was just about pounced upon by Trevor. "You OK? What happened? I'm so sorry I surprised you like that. What were you doing sitting there for so long without a shirt? How are you feeling? Does your back hurt much? I was so worried." "Enough!" I said, holding up my hand, "I'll be fine, I just think I'd better get home ASAP. I'll explain everything when we get there. That OK?" With obvious reluctance Trevor settled down. It was obvious he was worried, in fact I think terrified might not have been too strong a word. I felt really bad for having worried him like this, but the need to get home drove me more strongly than the need to reassure him further. We slowly made our way off the beach. Trevor sat me down on a park bench and went briefly back to work to let them know what had happened. After a few minutes he returned and we made our way up the esplanade and home. I have to say that it was a relief to get to the apartment. I wasn't going to admit it, but my head was swimming by the time we struggled in. Trevor took me stright into my bedroom and made me lie down, then disappeared off to the chemist to get some of the antiseptic cream that the Ambos recommended. I lay for a while on the bed, trying to work out what I was going to say to Trevor. I decided that a shower would be a big help so I stripped off and headed for the shower. I still felt a little unsteady, but I was hoping that the shower might help that. As I turned on the water I heard the front door open and Trevor came in. He immediately came into the bathroom to check on me. After seeing how unsteady I was he quickly stripped off, telling me that I needed some help right at the moment and he'd join me. As I stepped in I was grateful for his support as the room started to spin for a moment. I ended up leaning on Trevor's chest and we stood in the falling water for a while. After a time I lifted my head. "Thanks." I said, looking him in the eye. "Sorry for what I said earlier, I wasn't myself." "Hey, Sunstroke is pretty nasty." he said softly "It must have been a shock with the water. I didn't realise how long you'd been sitting there, or the state you were in. I realise that something is going on, I saw it in your eyes back there at the beach. I won't push. Tell me when you can, not before." He looked up at the ceiling for a moment and took a deep breath. When he looked at me again there were tears in his eyes. "I was so scared when I saw you pass out. All I could think about was that the shock of the water must have been too great for you. I thought you might have had a heart attack or something. I felt so guilty for playing the prank. I don't want to lose you, you're the first person I've cared about since Brian." He held me then, as close to his chest as he could without touching my back. I was aware of the strong muscles against my chest and the deep hollow at the base of his neck that was right in front of my face. I nuzzled his neck, kissing along the line of his collarbone and out onto his shoulder. He shuddered a little at the sensation and a slight moan escaped him. "I'm going to be OK" I whispered, "Really I am. We need to talk about a few things, but I don't want to lose you either." I reached down to his groin, finding a fair handful there in the process of getting bigger. I nuzzled his neck a bit more, feeling him grow and stretch further in my hand. "What was that you said the other day about 'Can't keep a good man down'?" I chuckled, slowly stroking him and eliciting more groans. "Certainly can't keep THIS man down, now can we?" I gave him a couple more strokes, feeling him tremble as I did so. I reached my other hand down and cupped his balls, at the same time fastening my lips onto his left nipple. As I sped up my stroking he groaned loudly and I felt him swell in my hand. As he started cumming I stroked the spot behind his balls and kissed my way up his chest and onto his neck. As he started to come down I kissed him on the lips, feeling him return the kiss hungrily. He reached for my cock but I pushed his hand away. "No Babe, I wanted you to enjoy that. I know how worried you were. I don't think I could take it at the moment, much as I want to. That OK?" He nodded slowly, obviously still a little euphoric as his orgasm subsided. I grabbed the bar of soap, starting to wash down that wonderfully muscled broad chest of his, lovingly trailing my fingers over his skin as I did so. I worked over the rest of him slowly, taking my time and not overdoing it. The shower was definitely helping how I felt.... my head was almost completely clear again. By the time I'd nearly finished washing Trevor I was feeling great. I'd saved the best bit to wash last, figuring that it'd be a bit sensitive having just cum. By the time I got there though there was plenty to wash as he had a full erection again. I looked up at him and he looked a bit sheepish. "Hey, I can't help it. You turn me on, OK?" I had to laugh at that, and took extra care to make sure that I washed his cock thoroughly. By the time I finished he was breathing rather heavily again. I handed him the soap. "Your turn. Try not to hurt me TOO much." He looked mortified for a moment until I grinned at him. "Yes, I know you'll be careful, I was just teasing. Couldn't help myself!" Trevor took the soap and started to wash me down. It was so luxurious to have someone else washing me that in no time at all I was in an almost dreamlike state. Looks like the sunstroke was still affecting me. After Trevor has carefully washed my back, so carefully that I felt hardly anything, he turned off the water and led me out into the bathroom. He grabbed a couple of towels and started drying us off. "You OK?" he asked when I made no effort to grab the towel. "Not sure." I responded "Feeling really spaced out right now." "Lets get you dried off and into bed. I think you need to sleep some of this off." He dried me off and led me into the bedroom. I carefully lay facedown on the bed and Trevor started to smooth the antiseptic gel onto my back that he'd got from the chemist. Again it was such a wonderful relief. I assume it had anaesthetic qualities as well as the pain diminished rapidly. When he'd finished Trevor lay beside me, close enough to be in contact but not enough to be in any danger of hurting my burned back, and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. As I drifted off I felt so loved that I nearly ended up in tears. Where in the world had I managed to find someone like Trevor? I really couldn't give him up now; he meant so much to me. As I drifted off I also realised that I really must tell him that when I get the chance. I awoke slowly again, feeling refreshed. I stretched and rolled over onto my back, sitting bolt upright as my back hurt like hell when it came into contact with the sheets. I must have yelped as a naked Trevor came barrelling in through the doorway almost immediately. "You OK?" he said worriedly and as I nodded he continued. "I was hoping to be here when you woke up. You rolled onto your back didn't you?" I grimaced and nodded. "Well, you won't be on your back for a while" he said with a suggestive grin. "Guess we'll have to work something else out to relieve any tension you might have." He looked meaningfully down at my groin and I realised I was bone hard again. "Hey, it's to be expected isn't it? You're naked and you know what seeing your body does to me. And I did wash you down earlier and watched you cum in my hands. Or have you forgotten that already?" His cock gave a distinct twitch and I grinned. "Nope! Looks like you haven't forgotten. I think it helped you though didn't it? You really were worried about me weren't you?" He looked down at the floor and cleared his throat. "You mean so much to me now Paul, I don't know what I'd do without you." "I know! But before this goes any further we need to talk." "I guessed as much. I saw the look in your eyes down at the beach. You want me to take care of that *hard* problem of yours first?" I chuckled, fully aware that I was still sporting an erection. "No, I think we'd better talk first and then see whether you want to act out that thought. You may not like what you hear." Trevor looked apprehensive but nodded. I lay back down on the bed, trying to more or less lie on my side so that I could look at Trevor while we were speaking. It wasn't easy, but with a couple of pillows we managed to get me more or less comfortable without having to speak to the mattress. Before I started I took a good, long look at Trevor, my eyes sweeping once more over that gorgeous body of his, then cleared my throat abruptly. "OK. Most of this morning I've spent thinking, as you may have guessed. This morning I suppose it hit me just how much has happened in the last 6 weeks. Before that I was a happily married, heterosexual man. Yeah I know, I liked to look and read about men, but that was all part of a fantasy and never expected to be acted out." "Now, suddenly my life has been overturned. Everything has changed and I'm able to do whatever I want and act out any fantasies that I have. It is literally a dream come true, but I keep expecting to wake up. I miss my wife dearly but I've managed to find someone I care about deeply in such a short time. You! I'm scared that I'm just on the rebound and that this will all end when the novelty wears off. You with me so far?" Trevor nodded, trying to avoid eye contact. "Having said that I have to admit that I love you more than I thought possible. I really had never thought I would be able to LOVE a man. But I DO love you. I'm still coming to terms with that, and to be honest I didn't really accept that until I saw the concern in your eyes when I woke up down at the beach. I hurt so much to see you hurting for me. Does that make sense?" "Yes!" said Trevor with a smile "Perfectly! I was so worried that I'd lost you having only just found you. I..." His voice broke as tears threatened to overwhelm him. I reached for his hand to comfort him and felt him shaking as he continued. "I tried so hard not to fall, but as I got to know you I couldn't do anything about it. You mean so much to me now. It has been so long since I've known someone as genuine as you, someone so *worth* knowing. And today, down at the beach when you passed out, all the fears I had after Brian died returned. I thought I'd never find anyone else, or that it'd be doomed from the start." "When you attacked me like you did I just couldn't comprehend it and then I thought you were going to hit me. I just couldn't understand where all this anger came from and why it was directed towards me. Then, when you collapsed, it all flashed through my mind again and I just couldn't bear to think that you'd died and that I'd lost you so soon. Everything came crashing down on me and it was all that I could do to catch you as you fell and yell for someone to call an ambulance. You scared me so very much." As he finished he lost control of his tears and he broke down, his chest wracked by sob after sob as he let the emotional tension of the moment pour out of him. I reached out and pulled him down to me, putting my arm around him and hugging him as best I could. I realised how much of a shock my anger must have been. "My anger is something that doesn't surface very often." I said, "It hasn't really surfaced for many years. I think because of that it is fairly violent when it does. I suppressed a lot when I was in school, and if I lose it, it all comes bubbling out. I'm sorry you got the brunt of it, you just caught me at a weak moment." "I don't want to lose you either Trevor," I continued. "But at the same time I don't want to hurt you. As you can tell I'm having some problems coming to terms with all this. I've enjoyed doing what we've done so very much, but I'm apprehensive about what is to come." Trevor looked up at me questioningly. "I'll try to explain to you Trev, but it isn't easy. Bear with me while I ramble a bit. Just give me a moment." I stopped and took a deep breath, trying to work out how to say all I wanted to say. I really wasn't at all sure how he was going to take it. Throughout this Trevor watched my face intently, as if he were trying to guess what I was about to say. "Ok. One thing that I've read about repeatedly is "straights" sleeping with guys when they get drunk, horny, or their wife is away. It is something I've never been able to understand properly. Not so much fooling around, but the way they fool around. I suppose I can understand them trading blowjobs or jerking each other off, even kissing, but I can't understand them going the whole way. Does that make sense?" "I'm not sure what you mean by the 'Whole Way'?" Trevor said thoughtfully. "You mean anal sex don't you?" I winced a little at his statement. "You can't even say it, can you?" he continued, "I didn't realise how big a barrier it was for you. I can't say I've had that much to do with straight guys. Although I can't really think of you that way given how I feel about you." Trevor was all tenderness and concern. For one awful moment I'd thought he was making fun of me, but thankfully that was just my lack of confidence kicking in. I still felt bad for disappointing him though. "I'm sorry to let you down, but it seems like such a big act for me that I can't understand why it is portrayed as being such a straightforward thing to do. To me it is a big step, and something I'm not sure I'm comfortable with yet. I really enjoyed what we did this morning; it was a real eye-opener. I suppose that today I sat on the beach thinking about what had happened in the last few weeks and thought about your wanting to show me some things and I suppose I realised that you were going to want to go all the way sooner or later. It's just a natural progression, isn't it?" Trevor nodded. "I love you Trevor, but I need to slow down. Up until now I can "blame" it all on emotions getting out of hand, but if we go any further it has to be something special or it can't happen. As a heterosexual, there are all sorts of phobias that reading stories doesn't address. It took enough to let you slip a finger into me this morning. Psychologically it was really off-putting, but the pleasure was worth it, plus I knew that it was something you wanted to do. I must admit that I'm dying to return the favour, knowing now what it feels like. I want to give you the sort of mind-blowing orgasm that I had this morning." "I don't want to lose you Trevor. Seeing the look in your eyes down at the beach I really believe that you don't want to lose me either. I'm still accepting that. You asked me this morning whether I trusted you or not? I DO trust you, but that doesn't mean that I am comfortable with doing everything right now. Can YOU accept the fact that going the whole way has to be something that waits until I'm ready for it?" Trevor looked me straight in the eye. "I said earlier that if you wanted me to stop you had only to tell me. I have no intentions of stopping everything because of what you've said, but I DO understand where you're coming from. I've only ever wanted you to enjoy what we do. If you have reservations then ignoring them would be tantamount to rape and there is NO way I will ever commit that. Of course we'll slow down. If you're EVER concerned about something we're doing, or look like doing, then I will always honour that. You just have to tell me. That's what a trusting relationship is all about." "I don't mind that it might take a while. Of course I want to introduce you to that particular experience. It is just so different to anything you've been through, and it feels far more wonderful than you could believe. I know that because I've done it, and I want to be there when you experience it. When the time comes I want you to WANT to do it, otherwise there is no point." "I love you Paul. I had to finally accept that today. You've infiltrated my life so quickly and I've found something that I thought I had lost forever. Thank You!" As he said "Thank You" he leaned towards me and kissed me, leaving absolutely no doubt as to his honesty. I was swept away in that kiss, overcome by the emotion. It was so nice to be truely in love again. Again, I'd like to put a big thanks in here to my editor and swami Ray. You know who you are. Thanks Bud. As I've said all along, please let me (Paul) know what you think at yvonneva@hotmail.com. This is my first go at writing, so I need the feedback.