Newsgroups: gay-net.erotic-storys,alt.sex.stories From: man2man@netcom.com (Daedalus) Subject: The New Condo (mansex) Message-ID: Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest) X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL1] Date: Sat, 18 Mar 1995 05:19:56 GMT Lines: 514 New Condo It took me a week to do all the unpacking and have everything in place. My new condo was a dream come true. There was a view of the city that was unbeleivable. The glittering lights at night, the early morning sunrises to the evening sunsets gave a constant change to the aura of the rooms. With all the work done, I decided it was time to see some of the night life is West Hollywood. Not being too familiar with the area, I picked up an EDGE and started browsing. With so many places to choose from, I decided to bounce from place to place. It was a warm nihgt, so I put on a pair of nylon shorts and a tanktop. As I walked around, I managed to get a few smiles and looks. Being 28, blond, blue eyed, 6'2", 210 lbs, and a large cock bouncing in my shorts, I always managed to get a few second looks. I found the bars fun and very diverse. I hit a CW bar, a leather bar and a few others. Needless to say, seeing all those hot bodies gave me a few hardons. A few times I was bought a beer and asked what I was doing later. Even though the offers were interesting, I was tired and thinking about calling it a night. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a real handsome man in a business suit. "Hi, my name's Rich. "I'm Ed," I replied. He sat down and started talking. He was a salesman from out of town and was on his way back to his hotel from a meeting. "Must have been some meeting, it's almost 11:00." "Yeah," he replied. I really needed a beer to unwind. Having had a few beers, I excused myself and headed for the t-room. When I returned, Rich was still there. As I sat down, I got a good look at his crotch. There was an obvious hard dick pressing against the loose pants leg. I looked deep in his eyes and smiled. "Looks like you have a problem there," I grined. I reached over and ran my hand over his pulsing dick. It jumped as I gently gave it a squeeze. "I think we should get out of here," Rich suggested. I found out he was staying at the Century Plaza. "Too far," I told him. "I live just around the corner, we can go to my place." I felt safer this way and I guess I just wanted to show off my new condo. "Make yourself comfortable," I told him. He took off his jacket and tie and opened his shirt. "Want another beer?" I asked. When I handed it to him, I again saw the outline of his hard dick. I set down the beer, leaned over and kissed him as my hand grabbed his cock. I stroked it, feeling its thickness. His hand slid in the leg of my nylon shorts. His firm grip wrapped around my hard dick. I stood up as my dick sprang from my shorts. I took a step forward, guiding my 9" cock to Rich's waiting mouth. I moaned as his tongue slid up and down my hard shaft. I felt his lips sliding over the head, pausing for a moment. I thrust forward as inch by inch slid down his throat. "Oh fuck, suck it," I muttered. Noone has ever been able to take my cock on the first try. His throat relaxed and then tightened as my thrusts increased. I pulled off his shirt as he was pulling off his pants. I grabbed his dick and stroked it as I fucked his face with long, deep jabs. I could feel my nuts churning as my load was building. I pulled from his mouth, leaned over and we kissed. I licked down his neck, his chest, his belly. He spread his legs wide apart as I got on my knees, holding his dick. It was about 6.5", but quite thick. I stroked it and watched the foreskin encase the head. My tongue darted as I pulled the loose skin. I tugged gently with my teeth, stretching it over my tongue. "OH FUCK," Rick moaned as he thrust his hips upward. I opened my lips and pushed the foreskin down over the head, feeling the meaty flesh enter my throat. I pumped up and down faster and harder. It had been two weeks without sex and I was really hot. I felt Rich's hands on my head as he fed me his throbbing cock. The loose foreskin was toying with my throat and tongue every time I pulled back. "Yeah, suck me, suck that fuckin' dick," Rich moaned. He slid forward more on the edge of the chair, spread his legs wider apart. I grabbed his balls and pulled on them, stretching them up the underside of his dick. I opened my mouth wide. With a little effort, I took his nuts and dick in my mouth and sucked. "Ahhhhh," Rich grunted. With one hand I pinched his nipples. With the other, I toyed with his puckering asshole. My finger slid in as his ass muscles tightened. I worked it deep inside his hot chute. Then I put in a second finger, shoving and twisting as I kept sucking his hot dick. "Ohhhhh FUCK, I'm gonna shoot," Rich yelled. His body thrust up as I felt the gushers of his hot juice hit my throat. I swallowed and choked from the force of his load. His warm cum dripped from my chin. I pushed his nuts from my mouth with my tongue, but kept sucking his prick, wanting every drop of that salty load. As his body relaxed, I pulled off his dick, my figners still in his twitching asshole. "FUCK ME," Rich pleaded. "I want that hot dick up my ass." I spit his cum on my hand and lubed his hole, then my shaft. I pushed his legs back. His ass was ready for my hard cock. I shoved, stretching his hole over my thick dick. "YEAH, HARD MAN, RAM MY ASS WITH THAT HOT MANDICK," Rich begged. I thrust and buried my shaft in his fuckhole, ramming it like there was no tomorrow. "Take that dick man... tighten that fuckin' asshole," I moaned. I rammed his ass with long deep strokes. My nuts were grinding into his crack as his hole tightened around my prick. I thrust harder and faster as I felt my load working its way out of my nuts and up my shaft. "Ohhhh SHIT MAN, I'M CUMMIN'......" His muscle control milked my dick as the juice flowed deep in his ass. The sweat was dripping from my body and I was breathing deep and fast. As I began to relax, I slowly pulled my dick from his cum-filled asshole. "OH SHIT, that was the best fuck I've ever had," Rick commented. "And your ass was what I really needed," I responded. I gave him my phone number since he makes several trips a year to LA. A quick shower and off to bed. Sunday was a day to relax and really enjoy my new home. It was a clear day as I decided to have a late breakfast on the balcony. The view was spectacular. I could even see Catalina, since I was on the 15th floor of the building. I didn't start my new job for another two weeks, so I had lots of free time to explore the city. When I returned home, I decided to hit the jacuzzi. I slid in the hot water and hit the airjet button. No response! I hit it a few more times. "FUCK, a new place and the damn thing doesn't work," I muttered to myself. I called building maintenance, which luckly has 24hr service. "Shit, an answering machine," I growled as I left a message. About an hour later the doorbell rang. I flicked my tv to channel 99 to see who was at the door. Two men carrying toolboxes were standing there. "It's the fixit twins," I jokingly thought to myslef. When I opened the door, I was surprized to see young guys. "Here to fix the jacuzzi man." "I'm Jose and this is my younger brother Alex." I couldn't help but notice the young firm bodies. Both were wearing tight faded jeans and tanktops. I showed them to the jacuzzi, all the time watching Jose. I caught a glimpse of an extremely big basket. I waited as he tried the switch a few times. "No power man....where's the electrical box?" Jose asked. "Ah, I think it's in the pantry off the kitchen area," I relpied. I followed Jose, watching the tight denim form over his round butt as he walked. "Here's the problem man," as he turned back on the circuit breaker. "Oh fuck, I never gave that a thought," I responded. Having on a pair of spandex shosrts, I could feel my own electricity as my dick started to harden. As he turned around, I was so close he bumped into me. My now hard dick was in perfect alignment with his hand. I stopped as he stood there, staring into my eyes. He smiled as his fingers slowly slid over my hard shaft. I pulled his head forward and our tongues darted over each other, kissing deep and wet. Jose was about 5'7 and 150lbs of firm muscle. I reached for his cock. Sliding my hand down the shaft, I thought I'd never reach the end. I looked down to see an enormous length of thick cock that was almost to his knee. "Where the fuck are you guys?" Alex yelled. We turned around and he was standing in the doorway. "Oh fuck," I muttered. "Hey man, no problem, we're both gay," Alex said. Alex was about 5'6" and 130lbs. I guided both of them to the bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed as they stood in front of me. I had to see that huge meat. I ripped open the buttons as they popped one at a time. I slowly pulled down the tight denim, exposing the thickest cock base I had ever seen. I pushed his jeans down further as the shaft became more visable. Finally Jose's monster dick popped up right into my face. "DAMN, WHAT A FUCKIN' COCK," I said smiling. It was 11" of thick, uncut meat. I grabbed it and started licking it as my other hand popped the buttons on Alex's jeans. I soon had 8" of throbbing dick in my hand and about 5" of Jose's dick in my mouth. Alex grabbed my hard cock, which was already leaving a wet mark on my shorts. Alex tugged on one side as I pushed them down with my free hand. My cock jerked as it found its freedom from the tight confinement. Alex got on his knees and began sucking my prick like a pro. Jose grabbed my head and held it as he began thrusting, forcing my mouth open as wide as it would stretch. I choked and gagged, but wanted this beautiful dick so bad. My mind raced with the excitement. I glanced over and saw our refelctions in the full length wall mirror. "Shit, I'll never take it all," I thought to myself. I pulled back to catch my breath. I slid back to the middle of the bed. Alex went right back to sucking my throbbing dick. Jose put a pillow under my head as he sat on my chest. My throat was instantly filled again with his massive tool. "Suck me man," he groaned as I tried to swallow. I started thursting my hips as I felt Alex's lips pressed into my pubes. "This guy is good," I thought. He's taking all 9" down his throat and really working it. He pulled off my cock as I felt my legs being lifted. Jose reached under them and pulled them forward. I knew then these guys had done this before and I wanted all they had to offer. Alex's wet tongue pressed into my asshole. "Hmmm," was all I could mutter. "Hot ass," Alex said as he spread my butt wider apart. He licked over my crack, up to my nuts and sucked on them. Then back to my hole. Jose pulled from my mouth and turned in a 69 position. He sucked on my prick like a popcicle as Alex's figner slid into my hot puckering hole. My nuts were tightening as Jose sucked. Another finger slid into my ass. My body quivered from the pleasure. Jose slid off my meat and his tongue found my asscrack. He spit on Alex's fingers as they slid in and out. "Oh fuck yeah Alex, work my ass." I moaned louder. Jose jumped off the bed and ran to the other room. When he returned I saw he had packets of condoms. I watched as he opened a pack, pulled out the condom and slid it over Alex's hard cock. "OH MAN, FUCK ME...I want that hard dick up my ass," I pleaded. I felt the head stretching my tight opening. Alex shoved harder as his dick slid into my manhole. Jose sat back on my chest, reached back and pulled my legs toward my shoulders. His huge cock slappedg my face. I grabbed it and began sucking. More and more of his monster tool was filling my throat. My ass was on fire for more of Alex's cock. Jose slid forward and thrust. I was gagging, but the excitement was overpowering. I wanted every inch of his cock down my throat. With an unexpected thrust, I felt his balls resitng on my chin. "SUCK THAT FUCKIN'BIG COCK MAN," Jose grunted. Alex wrapped his hand around my cock and jerked it. I felt my load building. My muscles clamped down on his pulsing shaft. Alex let go of my cock and stopped fucking. Slowly he pulled out of my twitching hole. "Ok, he's all yours," Alex told Jose. In an instant Jose slid a condom over his cock. I watched as the latex stretched to what seemed to be its limit. He spread my legs apart, guided his dick to my hole and shoved. "Ahhhhhhhh, FUCK," I yelled. I thought I'd split in half. His cock made my Jeff Stryker dildo feel small. Jose was slammingmy ass hard as Alex positioned himself over my stomach. He took my dick and held it next to his. I felt his foreskin sliding over the head and down the shaft. I'd never been docked before and the sensation was driving my throbbig cock wild. The invasion in my fuckhole was severe. It gave me pain and pleasusre. I screamed, "HARDER.. FUCK ME.. FUCK MY ASS.. OH SHIT YEAH." Alex was stroking my dick with one hand and his with the other. I couldn't hold back any longer. "Ohhhhhhhhh shit, I'm gonna cum........ As my cum forced it's way out of my slit, it soon began to drip form the foreskin covering. Alex threw his head back, groaned and shot his load. Cum was dripping all over me as it oozed from our cocks. I don't know who had a bigger load as the warm juice covered my stomach. Jose went wild and drove his huge dick so deep I almost felt it in my throat. It swelled even more as his load exploded into the condom. I could feel the pressure expanding the condom like a balloon. "YEAH BABY RIDE IT," Jose moaned as his juices filled the latex. Alex slid over on his side and squeeezed out the last of my cum. I glanced over in the mirror again as Jose slowly pulled his donkey dick from my asshole. My mind raced. "Damn, I had all of that in my ass," I thought to myself. They both craweled up next to me and began kissing me. Then they slowly licked down over my neck, my chest and stomach. I never had a tongue back before and it was so relaxing after what I had just been through. "HOLY SHIT, you guys are something else," I commented. "Thanks," they replied at the same time. "Since we're all sweaty and sticky, let's see if the jacuzzi really works," I said leading the way. PRESTO, it worked. Realizing they still had some repairs to do, they dired off, dressed and left. "Hmmmmmmmm, what can I get repaired next," I thought as I rubbed my sore ass. The days flew by in a hurry and it was the first day at the new job. I was called into the president's office to meet the new vice president and my immediate boss. "Ed, I'd like you to meet Richard." "He just accepted the position and will be moving here from New York!" "Now that the jacuzzi is working I'lll have to have him back for an encore," I thought to myself as we shook hands and grinned! It was a Saturday morning and I decided to add some new touches to the condo. I had some new pictures to hang, plants to rearrange, and a few other things. The phone rang. Hi, it's Rich, doin' anything special?" "Just messin' around," I replied. "Thought you might want to go along apartment hunting," Rich said. "Sure, drop by and we'll see what we can find...see ya in a few," I said as I hung up the phone. Rich was there in about half an hour. I just got out of the shower as the doorbell rang. Wrapped in a towel, I opened the door. "Well, you always greet your guests that way?" Rich asked. "There's coffee in the kitchen, help yourself." I headed to the bedroom to get dressed. When I returned, Rich was spreadeagle on the floor readinng the aparment ads. "What an ass," I thought to myself. I recalled my first encounter with Rich. But, now that he was my boss, I was leery if I should make another move. We made a few calls, then set out to look at apartments. The first two were adequate, but not exactly what Rich wanted. When we arrived at the third place, wer were greeted by the manager. He had on a pair of speedos and a muscle shirt. He was about 6'6" and 250 pounds of solid muscle. "Hi, I'm Tom...just got in from the pool, so excuse the atire." We entered the apartment. "You guys look around, I'll wait here," Tom said as he lifted himself up on the kitchen counter. As we toured the place, Rich was mentally placing furniture. "Nope... might wowrk...maybe..." Rich muttered to himself. As we headed back to the kitchen, we saw Tom with his legs spread wide apart. He was rubbing his crotch with his eyes closed and his head thrown back. We snuck up on him. I grabbed his crotch as Rich began kissing him. I pulled the top of his speedos and his shaft popped out the top. I bent down and began licking the head. Tom moaned as Rich's tongue slid deep down his throat. He lifted his hips as I pulled off his speedos. He had a thick 7 inch cock. Slowly I slid down the shaft. Tom thrust up as my face was buried in his bush. Rich worked his way down over Tom's chest. He sucked on the hard nipples, as he pinched them between his teeth. Every inch of Tom's manhood was invading my throat as Rich then worked his way downward. His tongue licked the hard shaft as it moved in and out of my mouth."Oh fuck," Tom moaned. He lay back on the counter. Rich craweled up and sat on Tom's chest. Tom raised his head as Rich fed him his hard cock. I raised Tom's legs and ran my tongue down his crack. "Pull his legs up and hold them," I told Rich. He wrapped his arms under them and lifted. I quickly reached in my jeans and pulled out a condom. I watched Rich work his cock into Tom's throat as I unrolled the latex over my hard cock. Tom moaned as my prick slolwy opened his tight hole. I began pumping in and out, going deeper with each shove. "Yeah, fuck that ass," Rich grunted. Tom moaned as I incread my rhythm. Every inch of my dick was invading the tight asshole. Rich was groaning as he continued to shove his dick down Tom's throat. I grabbed Tom's throbbing dick and began strokiing it. The precum formed a droplet on the slit. I felt his shaft swelling in my hand as I rammed harder and faster. His nuts bounced as my thighs slammed into his butt. Rich began moaning louder as his hot load was about to shoot deep down Tom's throat. "Oh fuck, I'm cummin'," Rich yelled. At the same time I felt the shaft in my hand throb and gushers of juice hit Rich's back. As I watched it run down, I rammed harder. I felt the condom expand from the force of my load. It filled the tip and I could feel it working up the shaft. "Fuck yeah, oh shit," I grunted as my cock spasmed. Rich pulled his cock from from Tom's mouth and jumped back to the floor. Slowly I pulled from Tom's ass as his muscles tightened around my spent cock. We got dressed. "I'll think it over and give you a call," Rich told Tom as we left. As we drove back to the condo, Rich decided it was a long day and he better get back to the hotel. "Let's give it another try tomorrow," he said as I got out out of the car. "Fine with me," I replied. I was really sweaty and tired from the afternoon's events. I decided to hit the shower. As the warm water flowed over my body, all I could think about was Rich. I lathered my dick and began stroking it. Spreading my legs wide apart, I leaned against the wall. My ass and dick were on fire. I reached back and slid a figner up my hole. As I worked it, I imagined it was Rich's hard cock. With a few more strokes and a hard shove of the finger, my load blasted against the wall. The force was so great, not even the pressure of the spray kept it from flying everywhere. I decided it was time to hit the bed. Ring...Ring...Ring..."Hello," I mumbled, still half asleep. "Get your ass out of bed...I'm five minutes away in my car. Click... dial tone. "Good morning lazy bones," Rich said as I opened the door. I gave him a kiss and headed to the kitchen. "Coffee will be ready in a minute." As I turned around, Rich saw my dick hangin' out the leg of my nylon shorts. He walked over to me, got on his knees and gently guided it to his open mouth. He massaged my stomach as I felt my cock harden in his throat. "Fuck, what a way to start the morning," I moaned. He cupped my nuts as he deepthroated my hard cock. "Let's go to the bedroom," Rich said as he stood up. As I lay back on the bed, Rich covered me with kisses. His sensual touch drove me wild. His tongue gently stopped at my nipples. His hands were massaging my arms, down over my stomach to my thighs. "Relax and enjoy it,"Rich said softly. "I want to show you how much I care for you." he continued. "Oh shit," I thought to myself. Is there really something in the making here?...How could it work out?...What would happen if they found out at work? My mind was racing with many thoughts as my body savored the pleasures. To this point, Rich had not touched my throbbing dick. The precum was dripping down the shaft. My breathing increased as my body tensed. Rich sat up just as a gusher of cum shot over my chest. "Oh fuck yeah, Oh FUCK!" I moaned. He rubbed it all over me with a very gentle touch. Then he leaned down and kissed me. "I really don't want to look at apartments," Rich said as he looked deep into my eyes. "I want to live with you," he whispered in my ear. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tight against me. We kissed, hugged, rubbing each other with soft touches. We lay there for what seemed like hours. We decided it was time for a more indepth discussion about the situation. Knowing what happened the day before, we at this point were not sure if we could have a monogomous realtionship. There was the possibility of a limited open relationship. After all, we both enjoyed Tom. There was also the question of the finances. I had a sizable inheritence, so money was no problem for me. Rich was a VP, so his income was very adequate. We decided to go for it. "I'll call the moving company and give them this address," Rich informed me. "It's mostly personal items, since I was planning on buying new furniture after I found a place," he continued. "Before I call, just tell me you're really sure this is what your want, I know I do," Rich said. The mover arrived. There were only personal items. His TV, stereo, clothing, etc. Since it was a small move, there was only one mover. It was a hot day and after the third trip, he returned with his shirt off. His muscular body glistened from the sweat beads. He was about 5'11" and 200 pounds. It was obvious he worked out as well as all that lifting from the moves. He had dark hair and dark penetrating eyes. It only took Ned (that was his name) abuout two hours to unload the truck. When he was finished, we offered him a beer. "Thanks, it sure will taste good," Ned smiled. He asked if he could wash off the grime and sweat. "Sure," I said and showed him to the bathroom. "Glad this is my last delivery...just to fuckin' hot to be doin' this today," Ned said as he sat on the sofa. We began with the chit chat. Ned's jeans were worn and skin tight. With his legs spread apart, you could see the outline of what appeared to be a good sized cock. Rich and I had mentioned to each other if it might be worth going after. But, most of these moving guys are usually married and have three kids at home. "How long you guys been together?" Ned asked. The ice was broken. "Guess it depends on what you mean by together," Rich replied. My dick began to stir in my nylon shorts. I rubbed my crotch to see what response I'd get. Ned walked over to my chair and reached for my crotch. I stood up and kissed him as Rich got behind him and unbuttoned the tight jeans. Ned pulled my dick through the leg opening. He bent over and licked the shaft. Rich pushed down Ned's jeans, craweled between us and began sucking Ned's Šuncut cock. I held Ned's head and ran my figner through his thick wavy hair. He swallowed my cock with ease. The harder I thrust into his mouth, the more he wanted. He moaned as Rich worked his cock. I pulled from Ned's mouth and he stood up. Rich also stood up. I took Ned's cock, pressed the head against my cock and slid his foreskin over my prickhead. As we docked, Rich ran his tongue over our shafts, working the skin back and forth. It was a wonderful sensation. Rich took Ned's balls in his mouth and sucked on them. Tom moaned as he pressed his dick harder against mine. As Rich's tongue licked behind Ned's balls, he ground his butt into Rich's face. Rich wet a finger and worked it into Ned's asshole. Ned moaned, bent over and again started working on my throbbing dick. I fucked his face with long hard thrusts. He held my butt and pulled with each movement. Rich ran to the bedroom and returned with some condoms. He positioned himself behind Ned and pressed into the waiting hole. Ned moaned as his ass opened for Rich's hard cock. The deeper Rich slid, the faster Ned sucked up and down my shaft. "Fuck that ass." I told Rich. The thrusts increased, both into the hot asshole and the sucking mouth. Grunts and moans came from the muscular body between us. Again the sweat beads began to run down Rich's shoulders. Rich grabbed Ned's dick and began stroking it. He slid his figner under the foreskin and rubbed the head, now slippery with precum. Ned pulled off my dick and told Rich to lay on the floor. With his back toward Rich, he squatted and slid down the waiting cock. He bounced up and down as he reached for my cock. I shoved it back down his throat. He again pulled off my dick and lay back on Rich's chest. Pulling back his legs, he looked at me and said, "fuck me." "I want both your cocks in my ass man." I got on my knees and slid on a condom. I leaned forward, guiding my hard shaft to the already filled hole. I pressed harder... harder...until I felt the lips accept my cockhead. "FUCK ME," Ned moaned. He twisted his ass as more of my shaft slid in. I've never had a feeling like this before. With all of Ned's body weight on top of him, it was hard for Rich to make thrusts. I on the other hand had grat momentum. My dick slid on and out of the tight hole. Feeling Rich's cock next to mine was a sensa tion that was driving me wild. Harder and faster I rammed into that dark tunnel. Ned had his head turned to the side and was kissing Rich. I watched as Ned sucked Rich's tongue into his mouth. I was getting hotter by the minute. All three of us were moaning as the sweat ran from our bodies. The rubbing against Rich's cock was having an effect on him. He worked his dick in and out as best he could. His cock jerked and I knew he was ready to cum. Ned's hard prick was bouncing around as I slammed his ass. I grabbed it and began stroking. His moans grew louder as I felt his cock swell in my hand. With a loud yell, his load shot past his head. "Holy fuck," I screamed. I've never seen a load shoot Šthat far. Stream after stream of white liquid covered his body. I pulled out of his ass and stripped off the condom. I jerked my cock at a rapid pace. Rich began pumping harder into the well fucked hole. "FUCK HIM, FUCK THAT ASS MAN," I told Rich. Ned sat up and began bouncing on Rich's cock. Rich took a deep breath as his load filled the latex covering. His body thrust about as the spasms continued. I rubbed my dick against Ned's chest, still stroking. "Oh shit, I'm cummmmmming." My juice ran down Ned's chest and belly. Ned stood up, his legs were shaking from having them pulled back so long. "FUCK, you guys are really hot," he said with a big smile. "Mind if I take a shower?" "Help yourself...you earned it," Rich said. Rich paid the moving bill and Ned left. For a while we sat there in silence. "Well, that was something new," Rich said. "I've often wondered what it would be like to double-fuck someone," he continued. "Felt great to me," I laughed. We decided we were to tired to even think about any unpacking. We showered and called it a day. After a quiet dinner, we began talking. "I know enough about you so far to know I wanted you to move in with me, but, there's so much more I'd like to know," I said. Rich began telling me about his family. How he went to private schools, college and went to work in the family business. Rich continued on. "Shit....you mean?" "Yep, Rich replied. My grandfather started the company we work for. Mr. Anderson (the president) is my uncle." So, my love, you don't have to worry about management finding out about us....management already knows!"