OF LOVE AND CHANCE
Chapter One: A Chance Encounter
a story by:
Solace Lenity
©2003-2004
This is a story about, well,
love and chance. It is for the most part, a work of pure fiction,
though some of the situations discussed are drawn from life experiences
(particularly the romantic ones). Though not in the beginning,
this story will eventually contain sexual acts between consenting
adults. Gay characters have gay sex, so if this bothers you, or
if it is illegal to read such materials due to your age or where you
live, then please do not read further. All copy rights are held
by the author, so please do not duplicate, print, alter, or resubmit (or
anything else I may have missed ) this story without first obtaining written
permission from the author.
Further notes: This story will address several social issues in a
perspective in which you may or may not agree. It is also a story
centered around life and love between friends, family, and partners,
along with romance, and it is not intended to be a jerk-off
story. There are spiritual and paranormal themes which affect the
lives of the characters. Finally, the story is told in the
various points of view of the characters involved. (To make this
process easier, each character's story is distinguished by a specific
color and font style dedicated to that charactger.)
This is my first attempt at writing fiction of any kind. If you
have any comments, ideas, suggestions, etc., I would love to hear
them. Please contact me via solacelenity@yahoo.com
Kanawha
I
was having that dream again. The same one I have been having
since as far back as I can remember. I was fighting my way
through a dense thicket of woods. Thorns were piercing my flesh,
leaving small trails of blood dribbling down from the many wounds on my
body. With a strong push, I broke several branches and found
myself in a clearing. There in the distance, I saw a small red fox
crouched in front of another area of underbrush surrounding the
clearing.
The
fox was not afraid of me whatsoever. In fact, he came right up to
me and rubbed against my legs with his head and body as he encircled
them. I knelt down and pat his head. He looked up at me
with his emerald green eyes with such love and compassion. He
gently licked my cheek, and miraculously all of the wounds I had
incurred from the thorns were healed completely, leaving not one single
sign that the injuries had ever existed.
Suddenly,
something wrestled within the chaparral were the fox had been when I
entered the clearing. The fox and I both edged quietly towards
the moving shrubbery. I began to panic when a badger sprang
forth, snarling viciously. I stepped in front of the fox to
protect him, but he came quickly around my legs and approached the
badger cautiously. The fox made a whimpering plea which seemed to calm
the badger. It was then that I could see the badger had been
severely wounded. The badger edged its way towards me, and
then let out a loud growl. Just as it gnarled though, I picked
the injured animal up and cuddled it close to my chest. It was as
if I could feel all of its pain coursing through my body. But
slowly, the anguish subsided. As I was releasing the badger, it
began to glow and then transformed into a golden eagle. The eagle
then flew high above, screeching as it encircled the clearing.
As
always, I then awoke in a cold sweat, disoriented and confused. I
looked over at the clock. Its glowing red numbers told me it was
much to early to be awake, but I knew it was useless to try to go back
to sleep. 'Damn! I hate
it when this happens.' I thought to myself. 'It's bad enough to be awake at 5:30 in
the morning, but being roused by some stupid ass dream that makes
absolutely no sense is just pathetic!' I growled and threw
my pillow across the room. Reluctantly, I got up from my bed and
headed into the bathroom. After a long piss, I took a hot shower
and then brushed my teeth. I dressed in my sweats, running shoes,
and an old t-shirt. Despite the overwhelming urge to be a total
dick, I decided not to wake my roommates, Jena and Ethan. Though
I must admit, the very thoughts of pouncing on them both and startling
them awake did put a huge smile on my face. As you might
have guessed, I am not exactly a nice person. My friends lovingly
refer to me with endearing terms such as asshole, bastard, prick, and
many other colorful phrases. Actually, saying my friends sounds
like more than it really is. Jena and Ethan are my only
friends. I'm really not sure which it is more, that I am so
abrasive and offend people, or the fact that I just genuinely dislike
others, that dwindles my friend list down to two. I guess you can
judge that for yourself as you read the story. After all,
why should I have been the only one deprived of sleep today?
Those two probably would have deserved it anyway. You don't know
them like I do. Hehehe! Anyway, I decided to be nice for a
change
and went on about my running, leaving my roommates in their peaceful
slumber.
I
ran down a few blocks towards the university. There I jogged down
the back alley behind the bookstore and the corner café, where I
yet again saw some homeless kid digging food out of the garbage.
The thoughts of this kid digging through garbage for food just sickened
me. I mean, how gross is that?! Yea, you
probably were thinking, 'That poor kid!' Well, I just thought it
was gross to eat from the garbage. The way I look at it is this:
it is not my business to meddle in the lives of others, not my
responsibility to give the homeless money, and it is just not my
problem; I have enough problems of my own to worry about, ya'
know? Shocked? You shouldn't be. Like I said before, I am
not exactly a nice person. Anyway, after gagging about the
garbage eater, I continued my jog across campus and up into town.
I jogged by this big old house my roommates and I dream about buying
one of these days. It looks like an old fashioned inn, surrounded
by a beautiful estate. But that was not the only thing of beauty
it had to offer this morning. I saw the most gorgeous ass on
display as this guy was bending over to pick up the morning
paper. 'M-m-m' I
thought to myself as I ogled his fine attributes. I then jogged
another two and a half miles until I was back at the townhouse.
As
I entered, my nose was assaulted with the smells of fresh coffee, eggs,
biscuits, gravy, grits, and bacon. Yea, grits. We
are from the south after all. I knew then that Jena and
Ethan were doing their thing in the kitchen. 'Hmm, good thing I decided not to scare
the shit out of them this morning. Otherwise, I would have missed
a wonderful breakfast.' I surmised to myself. I took off
my shoes and placed them neatly inside the foyer closet. I then
strolled into the kitchen and fixed myself a cup of coffee.
"Morning." I said.
"That is about all it is."
Jena replied. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow
questioningly. "You were up
awfully early. I was shocked as shit to find you had left without
pouncing on us like you usually do when you wake up so early.
What happened? Did the wizard give you a heart or something Tin
Man?"
"What, you think I would wake you up,
knowing it would mean I'd miss out on such a wonderful breakfast?"
I slyly responded.
Ethan
laughed and shook his head. "Well,
sis and I decided that since you were kind enough not to scare the shit
out of us with your usual stealth attack, we would fix breakfast in
honor of your growing a heart... no matter how small it may be!"
"I think you have been hanging out with
your twin for too long, Eth. You are starting to be a bigger
asshole than she is." I shot back.
"Well, little shit! If you know what
is good for you, and you really want this breakfast, then I suggest you
start sucking up to me. And calling me names such as asshole is
no way to get on my good side." Jena growled.
"You are just so beautiful when you are
angry... and when you first wake up in the mornings. Yep, I don't
think there is anything sexier than when one side of your hair is
sticking out all over the place while the other side is matted to your
head and you look at me with those beady, swollen, blood shot eyes...
It just gets my hormones all in an uproar." I jested.
Jena
swatted me as she laughed. "You
are such a bastard sometimes Kanawha. Ha-ha-ha! But I have
to admit, I at first was falling for that one!"
"Hey! I'm cooking too. I need
some sucking up to as well." Ethan pouted playfully.
"I think what you really need is some
sucking on, but I wouldn't touch it with even Jena's mouth!"
I retorted. Ethan turned bright red, and then we all burst out
laughing. I walked over and hugged him, then grabbed both of his
ass cheeks in my hands. "Who
knows? One of these days you may just wear me down."
"EEWE God! You stink!"
Ethan said pushing me away and pinching his nose closed. "Either hose yourself down outside, or go
take a shower. Your pits reek, big guy!"
"S-O-R-R-Y! See how good you smell
after you run 7 miles." I said, somewhat perturbed.
Then I gave them my best pity look. "Can't I eat first."
"Fine! But only if you sit down wind."
Ethan stated coldly.
With
that, I sat at one end of the dining room table, and the twins sat way
over on the far side of the room at the other end of the table.
We exchanged small talk and insults for a while. Then we
discussed our plans for the day. I told them I needed to go by
the bookstore to get the essentials for the upcoming semester.
Ethan was going to go swim laps at the pool, and Jena had to attend a
meeting for her paid practicum position at the university-funded
preschool. After clearing the table and helping clean up the
kitchen, I took a shower, dressed, and headed towards the bookstore.
Killian
I awoke
from the dream again. I was in a meadow that was surrounded by
woods. I heard something rummaging in the bushes and had bent
down to see what it was. Just then, a black grizzly bear burst
through the woods behind me. He was injured, I could tell for
some reason, and I knew he would not hurt me. So, I walked over
to the grizzly bear and took his paw into my hands and rubbed them
gently, calming him. I then stroked his face and his wounds were
healed instantly. He looked at me, and I just stared into his
sapphire blue eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Then, the
bear nuzzled his head against my cheek and rubbed it gently. The
bushes behind me began to rattle again, so I turned to see what it was
again. But, the grizzly pushed me back behind it as it stood to
protect me. I placed my hand on its shoulder and walked around
it. I then knelt down and out jumped this tiny little
bunny. The bunny had been mangled by something and was near
death. I began to sob as I stroked the rabbit's ears, fearing it
would die. The bunny hopped itself towards the bear, which picked
up the bunny and held it gently to its bosom. Amazingly, the
rabbit was healed. Then the bear held the bunny in it's
outstretched paws, and the rabbit turned into a white dove, fluttering
about the meadow, cooing peacefully.
'Such a tranquil dream.' I thought
as I roused from my slumber. I looked at the clock and it was
5:30. 'Well, might as well get
a jump-start on the day.' I mused happily, as I reached out to
find my glasses on the nearby night stand. I relieved myself and
then took a nice long shower. I then shaved and brushed my
teeth. I then slowly crept down the stairs and into the kitchen,
trying my best not to disturb my sleeping roommates. I decided to
fix a large breakfast for all of us, so I began mixing the
biscuits. I cut up several different fruits and put them on a
platter, placing it in the fridge to chill. I mixed up some eggs
for my special puffy omelets, and diced up some ham, green peppers,
onions, and cheese. I also peeled some potatoes and diced them up
for hash browns. After the first step of cooking the omelet in a
large cast iron skillet on the range, I placed it in the oven to bake
for 30 minutes. The biscuits were already placed neatly on the
baking dish, so I just had to wait till time to put them in.
I decided to go and get the morning paper. As I bent to
pick up the paper, I saw the most beautiful man jog by my front
lawn. 'My heavens is he hot!'
I thought. I could not be certain, but I thought that the guy was
checking me out. Lord knows I was checking him as he jogged on by
my lawn and down the lane. ‘Need
to save that image for my own
private fantasies.' I mused to myself.
I then
went into the house and put on some coffee. I scanned the paper
for a few minutes, then put on the hash browns and put the biscuits in
the oven. I then busied myself making some gravy. Just as I
was putting everything out on the table, the crew came scampering into
the kitchen. "Oh. I hope I did not wake you
guys."
"Oh,
love, with food like that cooking, who could sleep?" Mic
chimed.
"M-M-M.
Smells good Kal. And it looks even better. Man, am I
hungry." Jason commented.
Just so you know, my friends and I
call Jason Jew, from his initials Jason Edward
Wilson (and NO, we are not anti-semantic or anything like that.).
They call me Kal for the same reason Killian
Anderson Lord. Mic is short for Michelle. There are also Hela, who is Helaina, but we call her Hela after the
Norris Goddess of Hell - that is an easy one to figure out.
Finishing out the female roommates is Cole (Gabriella Nicole) . Carmine is Cole's twin brother, but we
call him Shaft; first it was Mine, then Mineshaft, but that dwindled down to just Shaft after a while. Finally,
there is Roe, Alexander Monroe. Seven of us in all.
"Now,
Kal, it is things like this that keep the bitch in me locked away."
Hela stated.
"I
don't know what street you are living on, Hela, but perhaps you should
move from the Land of Make-believe back to the reality in which the
rest of us live. The only part there is to your personality is
Bitch, so I don't know who you are trying to kid about something being
locked away." Roe shot.
"Well,
Queen of the Butt Plugs, I wasn't talking to you!" Hela
growled. "OK, I a may be a bitch to most of you, but I am
not to Kal. This little fella knows the way to keep me
happy. In fact, I do not recall ever having a cross word with
Kal, well, once we became friends anyway." she stated
flatly. Then, she ran her hand softly across my cheek.
This was true. From the day Hela and I mutually formed our
bonds of friendship, she was always kind to me. Her wicked tongue
never lashed its painful razor-sharp stabs at me. And God have
mercy on anyone who ever said anything out of the way towards me.
Hela had my back, and she was one person I was glad to have watching it.
"Butt
plugs, huh. I'll show you butt plugs!" Roe playfully
threatened.
"Told
ya before babe, I don't have any desire what so ever to see your toy
collection. Besides, that is about all you would know what to do
with a woman. You would never know what to do with my beautiful
pu...."
"Oh,
please! Don't go there. The mental image of the two of you
doing that... stuff... is enough to make me hurl." Shaft
interrupted.
"Amen
to that!" Cole added. "Let's just have a quiet,
peaceful breakfast, OK?" she stated more than
asked.
Everyone
agreed with that, and we set down to a relatively peaceful
breakfast. We traded the usual pleasantries, and discussed the
plans for our day. I needed to get to the bookstore to buy needed
supplies for classes this coming semester. Roe, Shaft, and Cole
had not purchased their books either, but they had to work this
morning, so they planned on going by there later in the day. Jew,
like usual, had to make schedule changes, so he asked if I would drop
him by to see his adviser. Mic was going to the gym for her
aerobics class, and Hela, believe it or not, had a date, and it would
take her the greater part of the morning to get ready. Who in there right mind has a date
at 10:00 in the morning?
We made
quick work of cleaning up the kitchen once everyone finished
eating. With seven people working together, it does not take too
long to really clean up the entire house, regardless of how big it may
be. We lived in an old hotel that was built in the 1800's.
It was in rather rough shape when we had first moved in, but there were
a few reasons why we jumped at taking it. For one, it was a great
deal. Second, it was the only place big enough to house all seven
of us under one roof. Mostly, though, we all fell in love with it
the moment we first saw it. Through the years of living here, we
have restored it into a rather nice home, if I do say so myself.
We have lived in the old hotel for going on six years, through
undergraduate studies, and we were now attending graduate classes
around our work schedules. Once the house was all spic-and-span,
I got dressed, and Jew and I headed to the university.
Kanawha
From
the instant I saw him, I was drawn to him. There was a sense of
great goodness and peace that emanated from him, filling my soul, yet
leaving me longing for more. There was no rationality to it, I
just knew I had to meet him. Every fiber of my being yearned for
this, compelling my mind to conform to its wishes.
He
was crouched down on the floor, looking at text books in the business
section of the Raven Cliff University Bookstore. His hair, deep
brown with a slight auburn hue, was shortly cropped and pasted down
close to his head. His shoulders were broad, and he definitely
possessed a gorgeous ass. However, because of his
loose-fitting clothes, I could not tell what the rest of his body
looked like. I just had to get a better look.
Nonchalantly,
I edged my way around to the English Arts section, lying on the other
side of the business section shelves. I removed some books from
the row above, but all I could see was the top of his head. I
waited a few moments to see if he would look up, but he was completely
engrossed in the task at hand. With a sigh, I put the books back
as they were. I knew I would have to resort to a more direct
approach.
Casually,
I rounded the corner. From the profile, he was quite
striking. He had the cutest button nose with a few freckles that
adorned it. Otherwise, his skin was flawlessly smooth and had the
slightest tinge of tan to it. He also wore the cutest pair of
‘John-boy Walton’ glasses. OK, so my Grams
made me watch THE WALTON’S 1 reruns on
television growing up. Truth
be told, it is a good show, and I always thought John-boy was kind of
cute. He was clean shaven, which was no surprise seeing
that he dressed so conservatively. He sported a pair of tan
casual dress pants with a blue and tan checkered polo shirt, buttoned
completely to the top.
Again,
he did not look up, so I edged closer to the shelves. Alas, still
there was no response. A strong flash of urgency from my carnal
nature flowed freely, and I stepped directly in his line of sight and
obliviously began searching the shelf above. I then proceeded to
notice my rudeness and excused myself.
“It’s not a problem, really.”
He said in his soft, sexy voice. “In
fact, it is probably my fault. I tend to zone out at times.”
“No,” I rebutted, “Me and my big ass feet are a danger to
anyone in a ten foot radius. ‘Sides, it was just plane damned
rude. I should have paid better attention to were I was walking.”
“Don’t be silly!” he chimed.
Looking up and smiling, he revealed his perfect white teeth, full lips,
and adorable dimples. Then, I noticed his eyes.
It
was at that moment that I knew I loved him. Something happened in
that instant that changed my entire world. I still cannot fully
describe it. One look in those deep, soulful green eyes and I
knew him, as if for my entire lifetime. All that he was could be
seen in his eyes. I was enthralled by the beauty and virtue
of his very essence. I was enraptured in his kind and gentle
nature while entranced by his humble and trusting temperament.
Truly, he was beautiful, both outwardly and inwardly.
“ The name’s Killian, by the way.
Killian Lord.” he stated as he reached out his strong yet
slender hand.
“Kanawha.” I said. “Kanawha Darkstorm.” I then
took his hand, matching his grip in a firm handshake. At the
instant of physical contact, I sprouted goose-flesh and tingled deep
within my spine. I began to shutter and tremble. I felt as
if I were going to faint.
“Oh my gosh!” he exclaimed, jumping
to his feet and steadying me in his arms. “Are you alright?”
“I guess skipping breakfast was not such a
good idea, huh?” I said in a panic. Afterwards, I thought,
‘You Goof-ball! That was so lame.’
But, I could not think of anything else to say besides ‘I am now that you are holding me!’
Killian
stood about 5'11", a few inches shorter than myself. I could tell
that beneath his clothes lied a rock-solid formation of well-toned
muscles. As he held me firmly, I felt myself throwing a major
bone.
“Let’s get you to a chair.” he
calmly suggested.
“No,
that’s OK. Really, I’m fine, and I believe I have troubled you
enough already today.”
“Nonsense.” he replied. “And it is no trouble at all. Now
come with me.” Gently, he wrapped my left arm around his
neck and his right around my back, gripping my side. Killian then
led me through the bookstore to the reading tables. Still
supporting me, he pulled out a chair for me and helped me to a sitting
position. Taking my hand in a firm cuddle, he said, “Now breath deeply and slowly.”
I obeyed as he slowly caressed my hand.
I
thought about all that was happening, and I had to smile. He was
just so damned adorable. Here he was helping me, a much larger
guy, over to a seat, patting my hand and attending to my health when
there was really nothing wrong with me to begin with... Well, other
than Mr. Playful throbbing in
my undershorts at the time. So, I tried to make light of the
whole situation. “And to think, my
Grams told me to never talk to strangers. You always this nice to
people you don’t even know?” I jested, really exaggerating
my prominent southern accent.
“Only when they practically throw
themselves into my awaiting arms.” he smiled. “It seems you are feeling a tad better?”
“Quite. Thank you ever so much for
your help.” I said with heartfelt words.
“Like I said, its not a problem. Now,
do you feel up to walking?” he asked.
“I think so, why?” I replied.
“I believe we need to get you something to
eat. I would not want you to faint and hurt yourself.” he
said, showing the earnestness of his statement in his facial expression
and his eyes. “Now, come with
me.”
‘I’d
follow you to the ends of the earth.’ I admitted to myself.
Lifting
me to my feet, he continued to hold my hand as he lead me out the
bookstore and down the street to the café. Never letting
go, Killian opened the door and seated me at a table by the bay
window. He then seated himself across from me, still yet holding
and gently stroking my hand. After a few minutes of gazing into
one another’s eyes, he suddenly noticed he was still holding my hand
and broke the silence.
“
I suppose I should let go of your hand now. You might want it
back.”
“I’m not complaining. But mind you,
when I do give my hand to someone, it will be forever.” I
blurted before I realized I was actually saying what I was
thinking. “Oh, Shit! I
did not just say that out loud!” I blushed a deep red and
my cheeks grew hot. ‘Nice job,
motor-mouth!’ I thought. ‘How
embarrassing is that!’
Killian
deeply chuckled and blushed himself. “Well, that answers two of my questions.”
he said, flashing a devilish grin.
“What do you mean by that?!?” I
exclaimed.
Killian’s
response was but a raise of his left eyebrow and an ever-widening
grin. I knew exactly what he meant. He now knew not only
that I was gay, but that I was also definitely into him.
I
turned my gaze to his hand, still caressing mine, and slyly said, “I believe this answers a few of my own,
smart ass.”
Sheepishly,
he grinned at me, blushing even more. We sat there for a few more
minutes, holding hands, gazing into one another’s eyes, and
smiling. Then, the waitress came by to take our order.
Seeing
our hands, she said with a smile, “I
assume this will be on one check.” looking at each of us. “ Now what can I get you two lovebirds?”
I
was deeply embarrassed and was at a loss for words. I mean, I
had never been openly affectionate to any man in public. In
fact, I had not ever been openly affectionate to anyone, whether in
public or in private. I’m just not a touchy-feely kind of
person. However, for reasons that still evade my mind to this
day, I made no attempt to let go of Killian’s hand.
After
a glance, Killian began to speak. “I would like the chicken cordon bleu lunch
platter and an unsweetened iced tea with lemon.”
“I suppose you have all the sweetness you
need, don’t you dear.” the waitress said as she gently squeezed
the tip of Killian’s nose. “And
what about you darling.” she smiled as she turned her attention
to me.
“I
believe I will have the same.”
“Somehow, I thought you would.”
she retorted with a laugh. “I’ll
have them out in a few minutes. Is house dressing OK for your
salads?” We both nodded in agreement. “Then I’ll leave you two alone so you can
have some privacy.” With that, she glided off to the
kitchen.
“I have never been so embarrassed.”
I laughed.
“Why would you be embarrassed?”
Killian asked with a look of confusion and a sense of hurt on his
face. Then he smiled, “There is
nothing wrong with being with the person you love, you know.”
I
was shocked and was trying to decide if he really just said he loved
me. It must have been apparent on my face, because Killian
quickly responded.
“I’m
confused. Are you even remotely interested in me? ‘Cause if
your not, then I just made a complete ass out of myself by telling you
that I love you.”
In
total surprise from hearing his declaration of love, I was
speechless. That was a first – me, the motor-mouth that I am,
being rendered completely inarticulate. Finally, my mouth began
to work again, and I muttered out “Really?”
“Well, I don’t find it hard to believe at
all that someone can fall in love with someone else at first glance,
especially with someone as beautiful as you.” he stated
matter-of-factly. Then, still yet holding my hand, Killian looked
away. “Call me a die-hard
romantic, I don’t know. It does not happen all the time I’m sure,
but I know it does happen.” Then, as tears began to form,
he looked directly into my eyes. “At
least, it happened to me.”
“I
– I just don’t know what to say.”
Killian’s
face turned red, and more tears began to flood his eyes. “I – I am so sorry!” he began.
“I did not mean to put you on the spot
like that. How terribly rude I must seem. And crazy for
that matter. I guess I just read things wrong... thought you
were feeling the same way I was feeling. It never occurred to me
that you had no interest in me. Now I’m the one who’s
embarrassed. I guess I will just leave now.” With
that, Killian began to get up and started to let go of my hand.
Quickly,
I grabbed his hand with both of my own. “No! Please!” I
exclaimed. “Please don’t
go. Sit back down.”
“Really,
it’s OK. I wanted many things, but the last thing I wanted was
for you to pity me. I’ve caused you enough trouble for today, and
for that I cannot begin to express how sorry I am.”
“But you are wrong!” I
interrupted. “For one thing, I
– and you can ask anyone who knows me – am not the kind of person who
offers anyone pity. That is just so not
me... Now, please, sit back down and listen to me.”
Killian
sat down and looked at me, completely focusing his concentration on
what I was about to say. “OK,
I’m listening.”
“Where do I begin?!? Honestly... Oh,
dear God! I cannot believe I am saying this... You gotta realize,
I am just not a mushy, touchy-feely kind of guy... But here it goes...
I
think – No, I know – the very moment I saw you, I was attracted to
you. The moment I looked into your eyes, I knew you and loved
you. And the moment we first touched, I was certain I loved you.”
I replied. “Then, of course, I
almost fainted from the intensity of what I was feeling.”
Killian
smiled broadly as I spoke and then chuckled at my last statement.
Then, all the sudden, he looked away, down at the table and closed his
eyes. I was perplexed at first, but then I realized that he
was... praying! I was completely and utterly amazed by this. OK, in all
honesty, it kind of freaked me out. I mean, what gay guy
prays. None that I knew, that was for sure. Then, after a
few moments, he looked up with tears in his eyes. “I just wanted to thank the good Lord for
answering my long awaited prayer.” He said softly.
Moved
to tears by this response, I finally understood and wholeheartedly
agreed. “Yea, I know exactly
what you mean.”
Killian
There I
was, huddled like a hermit in the bookstore floor when, all the
sudden, this golden calf appeared before my eyes... No, not the
kind of golden calf the Hebrews made when Moses was up on the
mountain... but a muscular, well-defined, golden-brown calf... you
know, the bottom half of a leg. At any rate, this golden
calf appeared before my eyes, and I was mesmerized by it. It had
a soft coating of black hair all around it. Not real thick and
hairy like a grizzly, but a light, masculine coating of hair. I
then fought really hard this strong urge to just reach out and touch
it. I looked down and noticed a rather large, well tanned,
sandaled foot was attached to it. There was also a light dusting
of black hair on the top of the foot and toes. Then, I
noticed the object of my desire had a friend, for an identical calf and
foot rested in front of it.
I was
brought out of my trance by a voice that was as deep as a rolling
thunder, yet as gentle as a soft spring rain. The voice had a
very sexy southern accent I have always fancied.
“What
the hell!? Oh, God, buddy. I did not see you
there. I didn’t hurt ya did I? Oh, man, I am so sorry.”
“It’s
not a problem, really.” I said. “In fact, it is
probably my fault. I tend to zone out at
times.” I wanted to look up, but I just could
not get
my eyes to quit staring at his legs.
“No,”
he stated, “Me and my big ass feet are a danger to anyone in a
ten foot radius. ‘Sides, it was just plane damned rude. I
should have paid better attention to were I was walking.”
“Don’t
be silly!” I replied. ‘Now
get a hold of yourself.’ I
mentally cautioned. Slowly, I turned my gaze upwards and beheld
the body of Adonis. He was wearing a tight pair of blue jean
shorts. His quads were well defined and led to two perfectly
formed, rounded orbs. As he was turning to face me, I could see
that he had a nice package squeezed in these shorts. Further
raising my stare, I beheld his rock hard abs and pecs. He was
wearing a white wife-beater that clung in all the right places, really
setting off his well defined body. His arms were well
proportioned and nicely formed. I could not help but smile, for I
was elated with his beautiful form. And he was tall! ‘Wow!’
I thought, ‘He has to be about
six-foot-four.’
His
face was truly a work of art. He had those soft, full,
pouty lips that you knew made him a great kisser. He had a
strong square jawline with a thick five o’clock shadow that was
probably definite right after shaving. His neck was broad, his
cheekbones strong, and his nose like a Roman sculpture. (I did notice
that he oddly enough had a few really cute freckles on his nose and
cheeks.) His curly raven hair was cut short with a sexy messy
style. Even his ears were cute. His brows were nice arches
and his thick lashes were an inch long or better. Then, I beheld
his eyes.
They
were the deepest blue, unlike anything I have ever seen. As
strange as it may seem, as I looked into those deep pools, I could see
his very soul. All that he was, is, and could ever be was there
to behold. I could feel the love he buried deep inside him coming
to surface. I could sense both his kind, gentle nature and a rage
he had within him that he fought hard to suppress. I could feel
that he had been deeply hurt in his past, and despite his efforts, it
was hard for him to trust fully in others. Most
importantly, I could feel a longing and loneliness that plagued his
existence.
It was
at that very moment that I knew I loved him. I knew he was
the one I was destined to be with for my lifetime. All I wanted
to do was to grab him in my arms and feel the lonely void with
love. I longed to kiss him deeply and take away his pain. I
yearned to shelter him and teach him how to trust again.
“The
name’s Killian, by the way. Killian Lord.” I stated,
reaching out my hand. He smiled at this, and let me tell you, his
smile was like a supernova, making me feel so warm inside.
“Kanawha.”
he said. “Kanawha Darkstorm.” I then took his
massive hand in a firm handshake. As soon as we touched, I began
to tingle all over, and my spine raced with an electrical charge.
He must have felt it as well, because I could feel him tremble.
Suddenly,
he began to collapse, and I sprang to my feet and caught him
in my arms. His head rested on my shoulder, and I could feel his
hot breath against my neck. Our bodies were pressed tightly
together. I wanted to hold him like this forever, but the unruly
alter ego of mine that lives in my underwear began to act up and grow.
Afraid
he would feel my impending erection, I carefully raised him back
to his feet and asked if he were OK. He said something about
skipping breakfast, so I thought his blood sugar levels must have
dropped. I escorted him to a chair at a reading table along the
side of the bookstore. I held his hand and patted it gently.
“And
to think, my Grams told me to never talk to strangers. You
always this nice to people you don’t even know?” He stated,
laying his
southern accent on thickly.
“Only
when they practically throw themselves into my awaiting arms.” I
quipped and smiled at my cleverness. “It seems you are
feeling a
tad better?”
“Quite.
Thank you ever so much for your help.” he said in earnest.
“Like
I said, its not a problem. Now, do you feel up to
walking?” I inquired.
“I
think so, why?” He responded.
“I
believe we need to get you something to eat. I would not want
you to faint and hurt yourself.” I replied, hoping this day would
never
end. “Now, come with me.”
I
escorted him out of the bookstore and into the corner
café. There, we sat at a table by the bay window up
front. We then just set there for a while and kind of stared at
each other. Suddenly, I realized that I was holding and caressing
his hand. Not that I was ashamed to do so in a public place, but
I was not sure at that point how he felt about me. So, I
said, “ I suppose I should let go of your hand now. You
might
want it back.”
“I’m
not complaining.” he said. “But mind you, when I do
give my
hand to someone, it will be forever.” Kanawha then blushed
a
strong shade of red. “Oh, Shit! I did not
just
say that out loud!”
This
brought out both a laugh and a blushing from me. “Well,
that
answers two of my questions.” I quipped, again proud of my
quick
wittedness today.
“What
do you mean by that?!?” he protested.
My
response was my trademark reaction where I raise my left eyebrow and
flash my evil, toothy grin. He knew exactly what I meant, or so I
thought. I was thinking that he was not only gay, but he was
kinda liking me and flirting a bit. As he blushed even more, I
beamed with the strength and speed of my banter. ‘Man! Am I on
the game or what?’ I thought proudly.
My
triumph, however, was shortly lived, for Kanawha just glanced at my
hand, which of course still caressed his, and stated, “ I believe
this
answers a few of my own, smart ass.” Oh, he was good at
this. I had to give him that!
I just
smiled in defeat, blushing even more. We sat there for a
few more minutes, holding hands, gazing into one another’s eyes, and
smiling. Then, the waitress came by to take our order.
Looking
at our hands, she smiled and quipped, “I
assume this will be on
one check.” looking at each of us. “ Now what can I
get you to
lovebirds?”
‘Man, she is quick too,’ I thought,
‘I need to pick up some witty jibes
from Hela to keep up!’
I
looked at Kanawha who was glowing with his blushing. Then I
looked at Valerie, the waitress, and ordered “I would like
the
chicken cordon bleu lunch platter and an unsweetened iced tea with
lemon.”
“I
suppose you have all the sweetness you need, don’t you dear.” she
said, gently squeezing the tip of my nose. “And what about
you
darling.” Valerie said as she looked at Kanawha.
“I
believe I will have the same.” he said softly... ‘Lord help
me!’ I thought, but I loved his voice... It turned me on
so much.
“Somehow,
I thought you would.” she retorted with a laugh.
“I’ll have them out in a few minutes. Is house dressing OK
for
your salads?” We both just shook our heads yes. “Then
I’ll
leave you two alone so you can have some privacy.” And she
was
off to the kitchen.
“I
have never been so embarrassed.” Kanawha laughed.
“Why
would you be embarrassed?” I asked. I must admit, I
was a bit confused at this, for expressing love to someone should never
be embarrassing. Then, I thought, ‘Maybe he is embarrassed to be
seen with me.’ and I felt kind of hurt. Then I thought,
‘Na! He is just shy and not
used to opening up to others.’ Seeing
hope in this explanation, I smiled. “There is nothing wrong
with
being with the person you love, you know.” I was hoping
that by
being honest and open with my feelings about him, he would open up in
return... boy, was I wrong!
He
looked shocked and almost terrified, so I quickly responded.
“I’m confused. Are you even remotely interested in me?
‘Cause if your not, then I just made a complete ass out of myself by
telling you that I love you.”
Again,
he was in shock. Finally, he responded “Really?”
Not
quite what I was hoping for, so I thought, ‘Maybe if I am
completely open, he will be too.’ So I looked him in the
eyes and
said, “Well, I don’t find it hard to believe at all that someone
can
fall in love with someone else at first glance, especially with someone
as beautiful as you.” I became teary-eyed, so I
looked
away. “Call me a die-hard romantic, I don’t know. It
does
not happen all the time I’m sure, but I know it does happen.”
Then, again, I looked into his eyes. “At least, it happened
to
me.”
“I
– I just don’t know what to say.”
I was
so embarrassed and let down, tears began to whelp up in my
eyes. “I – I am so sorry! I did not mean to put you on the
spot
like that. How terribly rude I must seem. And crazy for
that matter. I guess I just read things wrong... thought you
were feeling the same way I was feeling. It never occurred to me
that you had no interest in me. Now I’m the one who’s
embarrassed. I guess I will just leave now.” I
realized
that I still was holding his hand, so I stood up and was letting it go,
when Killian grabbed my hand with both of his own.
“No!
Please!” He exclaimed. “Please don’t go.
Sit back down.”
“Really,
it’s OK. I wanted many things, but the last thing I
wanted was for you to pity me.” I responded in honesty. “
I’ve
caused you enough trouble for today, and for that I cannot begin to
express how sorry I am.”
“But
you are wrong!” He yelled. “For one thing, I –
and you
can ask anyone who knows me – am not the kind of person who offers
anyone pity. That is just so not me... Now, please, sit back
down and listen to me.”
I sat
back down and focused all my concentration on him. “OK, I’m
listening.”
“Where
do I begin?!? Honestly... Oh, dear God! I cannot
believe I am saying this... You gotta realize, I am just not a mushy,
touchy-feely kind of guy... But here it goes... I think – No, I know –
the very moment I saw you, I was attracted to you. The moment I
looked into your eyes, I knew you and loved you. And the moment
we first touched, I was certain I loved you.” He told
me.
“Then, of course, I almost fainted from the intensity of what I
was
feeling.”
I
smiled so much it hurt when he said he loved me. I laughed
as he admitted that it was his feelings and the energy between us that
brought upon the collapse, not his blood sugar.
I was
so overjoyed, and then I felt a deep need to pray to God in
thanks for blessing me so much. I know I was crying when I
looked back up at Kanawha and said “I just wanted to thank
the
good Lord for answering my long awaited prayer.”
Kanawha
looked as if he were ready to cry and said, “Yea, I know
exactly what you mean.” I knew then for sure, 100% all the
way,
that Kanawha Darkstorm was my Godsend. Though I was sure he still
had issues in many areas of his life (we all do), but particularly with
God and with faith, his response assured me that he respected my
beliefs and that in time he would come to terms with his
own. Needless to say, I was in seventh heaven.
Valerie
came back shortly with our food. We both – well, I did
and Kanawha at least showed reverence – prayed over our food and for
God’s blessings. Valerie even bowed her head and said amen as her
own prayer ended, a bit later than my own. She then just smiled
and twigged at her hair a bit.
Valerie
was an attractive woman. Even if you are gay, you could
see that. In conversation, she told us that she was 37, but I
would have thought 28 at the most. She had strawberry blond hair
with gold highlights... fair skin with a few freckles here and
there.... a nice figure... and puppy-dog brown eyes, like those a
cocker
spaniel has. She had a smile that would brighten up anyone’s
day. She checked on us frequently during our meal and
exchanged a bit of chit-chat. I was proud of Kanawha when
he got her a seat and asked her to please join us for coffee after our
meal was through. Since she had a break coming, Valerie agreed.
We
talked for some time, and her boss did not seem to mind Valerie
talking with us, for we were now the only ones in the
café. She asked about what church I went to, and I told
her about my church and the mission I worked at during my time away
from classes. Killian did not say much during this time; he just
listened. I invited her to come to church with me and told her
how we could use her help at the mission if she was interested in
volunteering. She agreed to meet me at the mission on Monday
afternoon of next week and seemed excited to be volunteering.
Valerie looked at both of us, took our holding hands in between each of
her own, and said this:
“You
know, God gives us each many things... blessings, strength, love,
support.... and most importantly, he gives us gifts. Besides the
gift of gab, he tells me things or lets me see things. My pastor
calls this the gift of knowing... it is like you can see things about
people or sometimes even events that are yet to happen. It is
much more than being a worldly psychic, for this is a direct gift from
God.”
“Anyway,
what I am getting at is this. During our prayer earlier,
my prayer was for the two of you. I know that you two have a long
road ahead of you. Walk it
hand-in-hand. It is not always
the easiest way to go, but it is the way that God wants you to walk
your path. And, if you keep your faith in God and keep him the center
of your relationship, you will prevail and live such blessed lives.”
“Now
remember, his blessings on your life are in many ways, not just in
money... but somehow, I know that money will never be an obstacle
for you, not as a couple anyway. The two of you will touch
so many lives, believe me, and your lives will be filled with love,
friends, and family.”
“Now, I
know both of you do not really have any family to speak of
right now (looking at Kanawha) You only having your
grandmother
(looking at me) and you having only a long-trusted
family friend and no
blood relatives at all, (looking at us both) but trust
me, God will
bless you with a great family, beginning very soon.”
(Looking
at me) “You have been blessed with many great gifts, one quite
similar to my own. That gift has protected your life before, and
it will do so again, just have faith in it and what you perceive.”
(Looking
at Kanawha) “And you, I want you to realize that God loves
you. I know most so-called Christians say that being gay is an
abomination or that your loving one another is an abomination.
Actually, these so-called Christians... setting in judgment over
others rather than being on their knees... asking God to open their
hearts and give them the wisdom and courage to overcome their
prejudices... and learn to love unconditionally like God does... that
is the ABOMINATION... not you precious. Well, God has given you
many gifts as well, and they will develop more as does your faith. I
cannot say much about it now, but in time, I will explain your gifts
more to you when He tells me it is OK to do so. But I will tell
you this, for God tells me to. Your
greatest strength is found in
silence and stillness, not in words or rash actions. Faith and
trust are far greater than brute strength and sheer will.
Remember that.”
(Looking
at us both) “God brought you two together, and he has a great
purpose for you both. Your gifts complement each other
completely. Now kittens, listen to this closely... for
when the time is right, and it will be much sooner than you know, you
will understand this message. As God is giving your love a
chance, so shall he give you both a chance to love.”
With
that being said, she leaned over and gave Kanawha a kiss on the
cheek and said, “Honey, you can trust this one whole-heartedly,
so
don’t hold back. He is definitely a keeper.”
She then
kissed me on the cheek as well and said, “Be patient as you begin
to
lead him down the path. In time, he will walk with you as your
equal. Baby, you may be the guide, but he is the one who holds
the map. You are the luckiest man on earth, because with him at
your side, your lives are gonna truly change forever.”
Both
Kanawha and I looked at each other and then to her. Both
puzzled, we asked in complete unison, “But how did you...”
Valerie
raised her hand and we fell silent, again in unison, “See, you
are already learning to act as one.
Then you will need to
learn to act as three, then four
– and in time you will understand that
too. As to your questions, like I said, it is a gift... just
like your meal... it is on me... my treat to the lovely couple.
Oh, and before you scamper off, don’t forget your books. You
never bought them because of the whole collapse thing.”
Looking
at our shocked faces, she said, “Again, it is a gift. Now
get
going and get your books, or you will miss your chance. And I’ll
see you all at the mission on Monday afternoon.”
With
that we said our goodbyes and went, hand-in-hand, into the
bookstore to get our books. Neither of us said much, for we were
both utterly dumbfounded as to how Valerie knew so much about our
lives... I mean details neither of us had even mentioned
before. I did bring up, however, that Kanawha did not get
his book he was looking for when he literally ran into me. That
is when he confessed that he had seen me there and, in an attempt to
get me to notice him, had stepped in front of me. He also said
that he was drawn to me from the instant he had first seen
me. I was beaming, and I knew I had this goofy, toothy
smile all over my face – because I had him with that one. Then it
hit me that I really had him,
for life,
and that made me smile all the
more.
After
getting our books, we walked down the sidewalk to my car. I
popped open the trunk and put in my books. I did not want the day
to end, so I suggested we go for a walk. Killian put his books in
my trunk as well, and after securing the alarm again, we walked around
campus, hand-in-hand.
Kanawha
Our
meal went well. As Valerie brought it, I, for some reason
felt a need to pray over it and for God blessing me with
Killian. Now, I will
admit it had been a long time since I
had prayed. I, for one, was just not that religious. After
all, most churches and Christians teach against gay’s and view gay
relationships as the work of the devil. Most say that God does
not approve of us, which translates to God does not love us. Thus, I
did not know any gay people who prayed, that is until now. I just
felt that if Killian believed this strongly about it, then there must
be something more to it than I had thought. Anyhow, as I
began to
pray, I knew Killian was doing the same thing, but I also felt that
there was someone else praying as well. When Valerie said “Amen.”
I knew who that other person was. She was very attentive,
and we exchanged chit-chat with her throughout our meal. Boy it
was strange eating our meal and drinking with one hand, for Killian and
I held hands throughout the entire meal... in fact, he had still never
actually let go of my hand since he first took it back in the bookstore.
We
were having such a good time talking with Valerie, I asked her to
join us for coffee and got her a chair. By the way, I
never had
to let go of Killian’s hand to do this. I just turned around and
grabbed the chair with my free hand. We talked a while,
and then
Valerie took our hands and told us many things about God and our
lives. She said that we were blessed, and that we should walk
hand-in-hand
down our path of life. It would not always be the
easiest way, but it was the way God wanted us to walk our path.
She also stressed keeping our faith in God and him as the center of our
relationship. She said that we would overcome and be blessed with
love, friends, and family. She then shocked both of us by telling
us both about our lack of families. How did she know
that we were
both orphans and I only had one living relative, my grams, and Killian
only had a surrogate family member? I didn’t even know he was an
orphan, but that in itself is wild too... Imagine, my life companion is
also an orphan. She then told Killian that he had many
gifts and
one of his gifts had protected his life in the past and would do so
again, just to trust in his gift and his perception.
I
was blown away when she assured me that God loves me, regardless of
my being gay, and that neither we nor our love was an abomination; it
was bigotry and judgment of others disguised as a holy crusade that was
the abomination. Then, she told me my gifts would develop in time
as my faith grew, and that she would one day explain them to me when
God told her to do so. Then she gave me a cryptic message from
God saying “Your greatest strength is found in silence
and stillness,
not in words or rash actions. Faith and trust are far greater
than brute strength and sheer will. Remember that.”
She
then told us both that God fashioned us for one another, as our
gifts were designed complementary to each other for completeness.
Then, she gave us another cryptic message from God, by saying “As God
is giving your love a chance, so shall he give you both a chance to
love.” assuring us that at the right time, we would
understand
all. Valerie kissed me on the cheek and told me I could trust
Killian with all my heart and not to hold back because he was a
keeper. She then kissed Killian and told him to be patient,
because although he lead me for now, we would soon walk as equals and
that he might be the guide, but that I had the map – whatever that was
supposed to mean. I guessed we would figure it out in time.
Shocked
by it all, we, in unison, began to ask how she knew, but she
stopped us with a wave of her hand and said yet another cryptic message
we would later understand, “See, you
are already learning to act as
one. Then you will need to learn to act as three, then
four.” She then said it was her gift and so was our
meal.
She told us to get our books at the bookstore because we had forgotten
to get them because of the whole collapsing thing earlier. Again,
we were both in complete shock. She then responded with, “Again,
it is a gift. Now get going and get your books, or you will miss
your chance. And I’ll see you all at the mission on Monday
afternoon.”
After
saying our goodbyes and thanking her, we went hand-in-hand to the
bookstore. I got my books, then Killian got his, holding hands
the whole time, even while paying for them.
Then
it happened. Killian noticed I did not get a book from the
business section where I ran him over. I was had BIG time.
So,
I did what any one would do. I told Killian, “You know,
according to Valerie, my strength lies in silence and stillness, and I
guess there is no time like the present to practice this.”
“Oh, no you don’t. Not that easily.”
He was reveling in the fact
that he had me. Truth is, I was reveling in the fact that he had
me, and that I had him,
and that we both finally had each other.
So,
I guess that is why I gave in so easily and humbly admitted the
truth. “Look, the truth is, and
I am trusting in you like
Valerie
said to (‘Lord, please let
the trusting make this whole
eating crow
thing taste better’ I prayed to myself), but As soon as I walked into
the bookstore, I glanced over and saw you there, crouched down on the
floor. I cannot explain it, but I just had to meet
you. So after several attempts to get your attention, I stepped
in front of you and pretended to be looking for a book
Then, noticing you were there, I apologized and got your attention.”
Killian
was grinning ear to ear with my confession. “Why, you
little schemer, you!” he exclaimed, pinching my arm as he did
so. “Face it. You wanted
me! You wanted me BAD!” he
taunted.
“First, toothy boy, it is badly... as
in ‘you
wanted me badly’.... and... Well, it worked didn’t it? And don’t
get such a big head about it. Yes, I might have wanted you then,
but after getting to know you... Well, I want you even more so, truth
be told....Anyway, what are you complaining about. After all you
are ‘the luckiest man on earth!’”
I quipped.
Killian
smiled even more, if that were possible. “That I am,
Kanawha. That I am......Toothy boy.......hmm.....I was always
told I had a delightful smile.”
“Breathtaking, honestly.” I said
looking at him in the eyes and
caressing his cheek with my free hand. “OK. That is enough
of the trust thing for now. All this honesty is going to make
your head so big, it will never fit through the door and we will miss
our chance. Whatever that means.”
“God, help me. But I love you.”
Killian said as we turned and walked out the bookstore.
Hand-in-hand,
as we had been since he helped me to the table, we
strolled to his car. I was kind of sad, because I did not
want the day to end. Killian opened the trunk of his car and
placed his books in there. Then, with that devilish grin of his,
he suggested that we take a walk. I put my books in his trunk and
whole-heartedly agreed. Killian set the alarm after closing the
trunk and off we went around the campus, still hand-in-hand.
We
walked around for a good hour, talking about our majors, our lives,
our friends, how we both became orphans, and everything else we could
think of. There were even times that we just walked in quiet,
just staring at each other, smiling and enjoying the experience of
being together and not alone. We ended up in the university
garden, when we heard it.
“Faggots! Hey Faggots!” yelled
this young man from across the
garden. “Yea. I am
talking to you, you God-forsaken
Faggots! We don’t tolerate your kind here, so I recommend
you leave.”
I
was outraged, but Killian urged me, “Just
ignore him. He is
just an ignorant kid who doesn’t even know what he is saying.”
Killian
has such an effect on me, because I was relaxing and going
along with him when I felt rather paranoid. I turned around
swiftly, just in time to block the young man’s punch.
Reflexively, I grabbed the young man by the shirt, and with one hand
lifted him off the ground. I then exclaimed, “We might be FAGGOTS,
but this FAGGOT is going to kick your ass, little man!” I
then
drew back my other hand to make a fist, but I could not do so. I
was still holding Killian’s hand. For whatever reason, I turned
to him, looking for his guidance as to what to do.
“Kanawha,
he is just a kid. Look at him. He doesn’t even
know what he is doing or what he is really saying. He is just
acting out on what he has been told. Please, love, let him go.”
“But
I was just trying to defend us both from this bigot, regardless of
his age. And he tried to attack me.”
“Violence is not the way Kanawha.
There is many ways to defend
ourselves against hate and bigotry, but violence just perpetuates hate
and bigotry. It proves nothing, really, except who was physically
stronger or more cunning, or even more ruthless. But in the end,
does it make it right?” He looked at me with those soulful
green
eyes and I melted.
I
set the young man back down and turned to him. He looked pretty
shaken up and startled by my reaction. I wasn’t moved to let up
on that factor. As I studied him, Killian was right. He
looked to be maybe 14-15 years of age. Just a kid. His
clothing was disheveled and really worn. As was his hair. He even
looked dirty and really thin. ‘Poor
kid, I bet his life is
awful.’ I thought. Then I wondered, ‘Where the hell did that come
from? It must be Killian. I guess my wizard has really
given me a heart.’ “Very
well, then, kid. Today is your
lucky day. You owe your life to my love here...hey you called me
love,” I noted softly turning towards Killian. Then I
turned my
gaze back to the young boy. “You
should be more careful of who you pick
a fight with kid, because the next time, kind ole Killian may not be
there to get you out of the ass whipping you are asking for. Now
go. And behave yourself.” I said, turning the boy
loose. He ran away quickly. I think he was
crying, which made me feel just awful. ‘Man, Killian has such an
effect on me. Now I’m getting all touchy-feely about
things. I don’t know if I am going to like having a heart, but I
guess it is worth it if I have him.’ I realized.
Killian
caressed my cheek and said, “Well, my
big strong man, thanks
for not hurting him. I know that was hard for you, but you did
the right thing. Trust me. And I, for one, am very proud of
you... and grateful too.”
“Really?” I sulked. “HMM. Just HOW grateful?” I
asked with
a devilish smile of my own.
Killian
laughed. “Don’t press your
luck, tiger.”
“Alright.” I said, pretending to be
wounded by his words. Then it
hit me again, “Hey, you called me
love!” I softly cooed.
“Yes,
my love, I did.”
With
that, we continued our walk through the garden. Then, from
out of nowhere came a huge rain storm.
Killian
Our
walk around campus was quite nice,
really. Although, I must confess, we did draw a bit of attention
walking around hand-in-hand. It was just such a lovely time of
day. The sky was blue as windshield washer fluid, with just a few
puffy white clouds here and there. The sun was shining, and a
gentle breeze was blowing, providing a comfortable temperature.
The humidity was low, so it honestly was a great day for a walk.
Kanawha
showed me the dorms he had stayed in
while he was an undergraduate. I explained to him that my friends
and I never lived in the dorms for a number of reasons. "For
one,
the seven of us wanted to be together, but none of the dorms were
coed. Secondly, my connections at the mission had led to this old
hotel with a very reasonable rent given to us in exchange for the
work we seven did at the mission. Also, Roe, one of my friends,
had been through a great battle with drugs during high school, and he
feared he would get into the wrong crowd at the dorms. Most
importantly,” I said, “for me anyway, was that I just had,
and still
have, this phobia about using a bathroom and shower that someone else I
don’t know has used.”
Kanawha just laughed, “So, my little man is
shy, is he?”
“In
honesty,” I replied, “yes. I don’t
know. I guess I am just a very modest person. The
thoughts of being in a herd of naked men awaiting a turn at the shower
or the commode just did not appeal to me. But in truth, the very
idea of getting a foot fungus or worse from someone’s uncleanliness
scared me much worse than baring it all in front of a large group of
men.”
Kanawha
laughed a lot at this. “I have
to admit that I carried a can of disinfectant spray or bleach cleaner
with me for that very reason! But as far as being modest about my
body and all, I don’t think I have ever had a problem with
that. I guess I just gave up caring what other people
thought of me when I was young.” His bright smile quickly
faded
and a look of concentration weighed heavily on his face. After
some time, he spoke. “Life was just really hard for me when
I was
young.”
I
brought us to a stop, turned to Kanawha, and
looked him straight in the eye. I wanted to give him my undivided
attention. I gave his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He
raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. I know I blushed
a lot, because my cheeks suddenly felt very hot. Kanawha just
smiled that winner smile at me and chuckled lightly.
Then he
continued his story. “On the
reservation, I was not really accepted. See, my father was half
white and half Shawnee. My mother was all Shawnee, and my
grandfather was our tribal chief. He was not thrilled with her
relationship with my father, but, with the persistence of my
grandmother, he consented to their union. To look at my father,
one would never know he was not completely Shawnee. But when I
was born, my linage was especially obvious to everyone. After
all, how many TRUE Shawnee’s have blue eyes and freckles? As I
got older, the body hair appeared, which is another give away.”
He paused a
minute and looked to the
ground. With tear-filled eyes, he went on with his story.
“The other kids used to laugh at me and call me half-breed or pale
face. I spent so many days and nights crying in my room because
the other children shunned me and would not play with me. I had
no cousins, for both my father and mother were only children from only
children. Grams told me that my parents tried many times to have
another child, but miscarriages plagued my mother. Then, when I
was turning six, we were all going on a vacation to Florida – both sets
of my
grandparents, my parents, and I – to
celebrate my birthday.”
“Well,
during our stay, I came down with a
fever. Grams stayed with me, urging my parents and remaining
grandparents to go on with their plans. That is when the accident
happened. Their car was struck by a semi, and no one
survived. All that I had from that day on was my Grams... Some
birthday.”
Kanawha began to weep. I caressed his cheeks and kissed his
tears. He looked at me, letting me know he was alright, and then
continued. “I inherited my grandmother Darkstorm’s estate,
which
included her family home in Georgia. I hated life on the
reservation, and after Grandpa Brightmoon’s demise, Grams no longer
wanted to be there either. So, we left Kansas and moved to
Georgia in search of a better life. That is where I developed the
southern drawl, in case you were wondering how a boy from the Shawnee
reservation spoke with a southern accent.”
“Well,
it really was not much better.
The kids there called me Injun and made fun of me just as much as the
children on the reservation. Later in my first school year,
however, things began to look up for me. We got two new children
in my class, a set of twins, Jena and Ethan Lafferty. They, for
some reason, did not care what the other children thought. They
sat with me at lunch, played with me on the playground, and quickly
became my very best friends. Hmm. To be honest, they were
really my only friends, that is until today.” His
tear-filled
eyes seemed to twinkle as he said this, and Kanawha gave me a half
grin. “I am so happy I met you. I have been so, so
lonely
for my entire life.”
I began
to just flat out cry with this.
I raised his hand I was still holding to my lips and kissed it
gently. “I had a few more friends than you, but I was every
bit
as lonely as you until today.” I smiled. “You just
don’t know how
fortunate I feel that you stepped in front of me at that
bookstore. See, I don’t know if I would have been so
courageous. Thank God you have such strength and resolve about
you.”
“I
cannot wait for you to meet Jena and
Ethan!” Killian enthused. “See, we all came to
school here
together. In our Sophomore year, we decided to get an apartment,
well a townhouse, really. Ethan and I just missed Jena too much,
and she always felt lonely when we were not there. After
graduation, we all decided to remain here and continue through graduate
school, vowing to each earn our Ph. D’s in our respective fields.
Jena is working on her Master’s in Education k-12, and Ethan is working
on his Master’s in Psychology. I am working on my Master’s in
both Commercial Art and Engineering, with a focus on Design.
Anyway, sorry I got off the subject there, but I just know you would
like them. I know for sure they will love you just as much as I
do... Well, no one can love you as much as I do, but they can sure
try!” Then, his award-winning smile returned.
“Well,
you are gonna have to meet my crew of
friends as well!” I replied. “We all met in grade
school, well
that is except for Cole and Carmine. They moved to my home town
during seventh grade in middle school – Hey! They are brother/sister
twins too! See, Cole is a girl, Gabriella Nicole Romero, so we
call her Cole from Nicole. We call Carmine Shaft – at first, we called
him Mine, then Mineshaft, and it just dwindled down eventually to
Shaft. There is also Helaina, which we call Hela – you know, the
Norse goddess of Hell – because she is such a sarcastic one. Then
there is Roe, his name is really Ryan Alexander Monroe. We call
Michelle Mic, and then we call Jason Jew from his initials – Jason
Edward Wilson. Oh, and just so you know, they call me Kal, my
initials, Killian Anderson Lord.” I then explained to him
that we
were all in graduate school as well, and our fields of study, mine
being Human Resource Development, a blend of technical education,
organizational psychology, training and development, and business
management.
As we
walked, we talked a little bit more
about school, and ended up in the university gardens. Then
Killian paused and, looking sympathetically into my eyes, he asked,
“So, if you don’t mind my asking, how old were you when you became
an
orphan?”
“It
was the night of my sixth birthday.”
I said. “And, please don’t feel you have offended me,
because I
have dealt with this and learned to talk openly about it quite a long
time ago... Hey, what are the chances that we are both orphans, much
less that we each lost our parents on our sixth birthdays?”
“Anyway,
my parents called from work. – They had
been missionaries until about a month before I was born, and then had
moved back to Ohio. There, they worked for the department of
education, teaching Adult Basic Education, Remedial English, and
Reading for the literacy program. – They told me that they were
stopping to pick up my birthday present, but would be home soon.
Both of them told me how much they loved me and how much God had
blessed them six years before with a wonderful son. Then, they
spoke with Nana – Nanna was my mother’s caretaker when she was a young
girl. Mom came from a fairly well-to-do family, and I guess
having a nanny was the thing to do. – Well, I had no grandparents
still alive by the time I was born, but Mom was always close to Nanna,
as if Nanna were her own mother. In fact, Nanna traveled with my
parents doing missionary work until they moved back to Ohio, bringing
her with them.”
“I had
been excited and had asked many times
when they would be home, and I could tell Nanna had began to
worry. It was 8:37 that evening when the Sheriff arrived.
The sheriff told Nanna about the accident. Their car had slid on
the wet roads and went off a cliff. From the looks of the
accident, my parents had been killed instantly. The car had
caught fire and exploded, so there was not much of my parents left to
bury.”
“In
their will, my parents left my care and
custody to Nanna. She has been my only family since that
day... I had no cousins, aunts, or uncles either. Nanna
raised me, just as she raised my mother. She told me lots of
stories about my parents, so, although I was young, I know a lot about
them.” I paused a moment, then looked into Kanawha’s eyes
again. “You know, what is funny is that sometimes I have to
look at
pictures to remember what they looked like, but I can still remember
how both of them smelled, and how their voices and especially their
laughter sounded.”
Kanawha
was beginning to say something, when
we were interrupted by the bigotry callings of a young boy.
“Faggots! Hey Faggots! Yea. I am talking
to you,
you God-forsaken Faggots! We don’t tolerate your kind here,
so I recommend you leave.”
I could
tell Killian was becoming very upset
by this. I looked at the bigot, and realized he was just a young
kid, probably no older than 14 or 15. So, I urged Kanawha, “Just
ignore him. He is just an ignorant kid who doesn"t’t even know
what he is saying.”
Kanawha
seemed to relax a little, but then he
turned around quickly, just in time to block the young man’s
punch. Instinctively, he grabbed the young man by the shirt, and
with one hand lifted him off the ground. Then, his rage began to
take over. I don’t think he even realized it was just a kid, but
he began yelling back at him. “We might be FAGGOTS, but this
FAGGOT is
going to kick your ass, little man!” I was still holding
his hand
– oddly enough, I had been doing so ever since I first took his hand
back in the bookstore. Kanawha drew back to punch the kid, but he
could not make a fist without letting go of my hand. He looked
back at me, starting to regain control of his anger, as if he wanted me
to tell him what he should do.
“Kanawha,
he is just a kid. Look at
him. He doesn’t even know what he is doing or what he is really
saying. He is just acting out on what he has been told.
Please, love, let him go.”
He
looked saddened, sensing my disapproval of
his actions. Then, he tried to explain himself. “But
I was just trying to defend us both from this
bigot, regardless of his age. And he tried to attack me.”
“Violence
is not the way Kanawha. There
is many ways to defend ourselves against hate and bigotry, but violence
just perpetuates hate and bigotry. It proves nothing, really,
except who was physically stronger or more cunning, or even more
ruthless. But in the end, does it make it right?” I
looked
deep into his eyes hoping I would reach him, and finally, I did.
Setting
the young man back down, he began to
look at the boy. I think he realized that it was just a young boy
at that point. The boy was petrified. He looked
malnourished an unkempt. I knew in my heart that there was a lot
going on in this poor kids life, and my heart went out to him.
“Very
well, then, kid. Today is your
lucky day. You owe your life to my love here...hey you called me
love,” Kanawha said meekly, turning towards me. Then he
looked
back to the young boy. “You should be more careful of who you
pick a
fight with kid, because the next time, kind ole Killian may not be
there to get you out of the ass whipping you are asking for. Now
go. And behave yourself.” He then turned the boy
loose, who
ran away like a frightened rabbit. The kid was crying, and I knew
Kanawha regretted his actions. I also knew he felt terrible for
scaring the poor child.
I
caressed his cheek and said, “Well, my big
strong man, thanks for not hurting him. I know that was hard for
you, but you did the right thing. Trust me. And I, for one,
am very proud of you...and grateful too.”
“Really?”
he pouted. Then, he seemed to
lighten up a little. “HMM. Just HOW grateful?” and he
flashed me
this really mischievous smile.
“Don’t
press your luck, tiger.” I retorted
laughing
“Alright.”
he mocked, as if wounded by my
words. He smiled again and gently said, “Hey, you called me
love!”
I could
tell that he really liked me saying
this, because he seemed fixated on the fact that I called him
love. So, I did it again. “Yes, my love, I did.”
I
knew that he was only trying to protect us both, and in so doing, he
was trying to please me. He then did what I asked and let the boy
go, again trying to please me. The simple act of calling him love
really seemed to please him, so I just wanted to return the
favor. To be honest, I
couldn’t help but smile when I heard him
refer to me as my love when talking to the boy.
Kanawha
just beamed at my saying this, and we
continued our walk through the garden. Suddenly, from out of
nowhere, it began to poor the rain. At first, we ran for shelter,
but we were drenched within moments. It was pointless to run at
that time, so we just strolled on in the rain, laughing, twirling
around in the downpour, and splashing each other in the pools of water
on the ground. I honestly have never had a better time in my
life.
Kanawha
We
had a great time walking in the sunshine,
but we had an even greater time playing in the rain. I don’t know
what it was, but I felt like I was a kid again. Maybe it was the
rain, but I really think it was the effect Killian has on me. We
twirled and splashed and looked like utter fools, but we were having
fun. Who cared what other people thought about us. I did
notice in the rain that Killian had one fine body! His wet
clothes clung tightly to him, revealing his well defined torso, arms,
legs, and that awesome ass!
We
slowly made our way back to Killian’s
car. I, only living a few blocks from the bookstore, did not
drive
over. Killian offered me a ride home, which I graciously
accepted. He opened the door for me, but then he said, “I guess I
will have to let your hand go now, but I really don’t want to. Do
you realize I have been holding it this whole time.”
“Well, actually, I have noticed, and I don’t
want to let go of your hand either. Hmm. I have an idea!”
I
exclaimed. Then, I shut the car door and led him to the other
side. He opened the door, and I climbed in over the center
console leading him into the car. “There, that is better.”
Killian
just smiled. He ran his hand
through his hair to get rid of the dripping water. “Wow!” I
said. “I really like your hair
all messed up like that. You
look as sexy as can be!”
Killian
just flashed his devilish smile and
looked in the mirror. “Do you
really think?”
“Yes, I really like it that way”
“No, not that. Do you really think
I look as sexy as can be?” he asked, in a big toothy grin.
“Toothy, if you cannot behave yourself, I
am
going to quit this whole honesty thing.” With that, he
laughed. His glasses began to fog over, so he took them off, and
cleaned them on his shirt with his free hand. ‘Oh my dear God in
heaven!’ I thought. I believed he was cute when I first
seen him,
but when he took off his glasses, I realized he was not cute at
all... He was drop-dead gorgeous. Before my very eyes, he
transformed from mild-mannered cutie-pie to SUPER STUD. I
made a mental note to never let him get contacts, for it was going to
be hard enough to keep other men off of him with him being so
cute. But if other guys saw him without the glasses, I
would have to beat them off with a baseball bat!
“What?” He asked, noticing I
was staring
at him.
“You look... breathtaking.” I
admitted. Killian radiated with this remark.
“Well, I guess we should get moving.
Here.” He said, handing me his keys. “If you will
please... my hand seems to be rather occupied, and I cannot reach to
put them in or start the car with my left hand.” I smiled,
inserted the key, and turned the ignition. “Now, if you could
just put the car in drive.” I did just that.
I
gave Killian directions as we drove.
He explained to me how to get to his place, and I was surprised that he
lived in the home my roommates and I admired so much on our trips to
the shopping center and on my morning runs. I realized then that it was
his ass that I was ogling this morning during my run. I mentioned
this with selective wording to him.
He laughed at the fact that during all our
time at the same university – and that I even knew his home – we had
never met before today. He also smiled and said that he had noticed me
while I was jogging by his house today and asked if I had noticed him
this morning. I turned so red with this question. But
Killian just laughed and said not to worry, for he was checking me out
just as much as I was him.
In no time, we were in front of my
townhouse. We climbed back out the driver’s side of the car, not
letting go of one another’s hands. I got my books from the trunk,
and Killian walked me to my door. We stared in silence for some
time. Then slowly, we both leaned forward and our lips met.
His soft lips caressed my own, and I began to tingle. Slowly, my
lips parted, and his tongue entered my mouth. Somewhere in the
passion, we finally let go of our hand hold, as our hands began to
explore one another’s bodies. The passion was intense, and I
trembled from all the tingling sensations. One of my hands rubbed
his neck, the other his butt, pulling him closely into my body.
His hands were in the same position on me. My erection was
grinding against him, and I was at the point of exploding. I
believe he was too, for we both calmed things down and slowly backed up
a bit and broke the kiss.
“WOW!” We both said in
unison. We
then laughed. Killian asked if I had plans for tonight and wanted
to know if I would maybe want to go see a musical with him and maybe
get dinner afterwards. I eagerly accepted. He said he would
call and reserve the tickets. I told him I would take care of the
dinner arrangements. I would be at his place at 6:00 to pick him
up. Before leaving, we exchanged home, work, and cell phone
numbers. I watched him drive off, and then went
inside. This was the best day of my life, and it wasn’t
over yet!
Killian
We made our way to my car, and I offered
Kanawha a ride home. He had a brilliant idea as to how we could
keep holding hands and get ourselves in the car. At one point, I
wiped the rain out my hair and he really liked my hair messed up.
In fact, he told me I looked as sexy as can be. Boy was I shining
like a star when he said that! Then, he told me I was
breathtaking! God,
thank you so much for this wonderful man!
We made it back to his house. He knew
where my home was as I explained it to him. It is just so weird
that during all our time in school together, he and I have never met –
and he even knew where my house was. In fact, it was he that I
was checking out as he jogged by my front lawn this morning!
Anyway, I walked him to his door. Then,
that magic moment happened. It was my first kiss, and boy was it
the most fantastic experience I have had. We were just
gazing at one another and slowly moved together. My lips grazed
his, and then, his slowly parted. My tongue roamed in his mouth,
exploring while he gently sucked on it. Then, he returned the
favor. Lord, he tasted so sweet, like nothing I have tasted
before. Our hands began roaming, as we finally let go of holding
one another’s hands. He had one hand exploring my back, the
other exploring my butt. I was doing the same. Our bodies
were pressed closely together, and our engorged members slowly ground
into one another. The electricity was beyond words – I
swear the heat between us was making my clothes dry! Then, I
could feel myself beginning to go over the edge, and he must have been
close as well, because we both began to calm the kissing down and pull
apart.
“WOW!” was all either of us could
mutter, and we did so in unison. I got a sudden burst of bravery
and asked him out on a date for that evening, and he accepted. I
asked him to a musical that was in town, and maybe dinner
afterwards. It was agreed that I would arrange for the tickets,
he would arrange for dinner. Kanawha said he would pick me up at
my home around 6:00. We exchanged all our numbers, and I headed
home. It is funny, but I missed him as soon as I turned
around to leave.
Valerie
Was
I surprised to see two fine-looking young
men enter the café holding one another’s hands? Not in the
least. After all, I had dreamed about the two of them for years
now, just as I knew they had been continually dreaming about each other
since shortly after their birth. They just had not connected one
another to the
dreams at the time. But they would, and very soon. All too
quickly, there lives would collide with the other, just as I had
dreamed. Then, everything would be completely set into motion.
Their
past, present, and future was so well
known to me... the pain and sorrow... the great tragedy and
loss... so many hardships to overcome... yet, so much joy and
love... so many blessings to be counted... so many lives to
touch. I awaited for the right time and then conveyed the
message, just as I was told. The look of shock and surprise on
their faces was truly priceless. Lord, they’re truly a lovely
couple.
“Again, it is a gift. Now get going
and
get your books, or you will miss your chance. And I’ll see you
all at the mission on Monday afternoon.” I told them at
the last,
‘But much sooner in the scheme of
things.’ I thought to myself.
They
had left about a half hour before.
I took a sip of coffee as I looked out the window. The sun was
still shining brightly. They should just be getting ready to walk
around campus.
I
knew I should go and make preparations soon,
so I turned to the kitchen and yelled at Ed. “Ed, darling.
I am going to run to the market and pick up a few things. Oh, and
plan on working late tonight. We will be having a special dinner
party.”
“What
are you talking about? What
dinner party?”
“After
all these years, you still doubt me?”
“Well...no.
As annoying as that can be,
I have never known you to be wrong about anything. That is why I never
question when you have me fix breakfasts and dinners only to have you
box and bag them, then take them out back and throw them in the garbage
can. I figure you have your reasons, and that is good enough for
me. Even though everyone else thinks you are some crazy coot.”
“Hehehe....Such
a silver-tongued devil.
Perhaps that is why I married you?”
“HA! You are just so funny! I
know
that is why I married you.” Ed jibed, coming out of the
kitchen
and leaning against the counter next to me.
I
grabbed Ed by the apron and pulled him close
to me. Sliding my arms around his neck, I looked into his
eyes. “You know, seeing those
two young fella’s in here, they
reminded me of what it was like when we first met.”
“I
was such an awkward idiot, totally smitten
by your beauty. But, despite my being a bumbling boob, you loved
me anyway. I have never understood why, but I thank God everyday
that you gave me a chance to just stand in your radiance.”
“Why Ed, if it weren’t the middle of the
day
and we were not out here in the open, I would pick up where we left off
this morning!” I said, kissing the man I have loved since
I was
sixteen. “Mmm. After twenty-one
years, I still feel all tingly
when we kiss.”
“Well, though I am more coordinated in your
presence now, I still get weak in the knees every time you smile.
I still get goose flesh every time I smell your scent. And I
still tremble with just the slightest touch of your flesh.”
Ed
said, embracing me in a passionate kiss that curled my toes up in my
shoes. “Mmm.” he said breaking
the kiss. “As much as I hate to
leave things at this, we have a customer getting ready to come in the
door.”
“I
need to get to the market anyway. I
want to be back before the big storm hits.”
“Though
the sun is shining and there is few
clouds in the sky, if you say a storm is coming, I have no
doubts. You’d best get going, then. Your timing is always
on the mark.”
“I am such a lucky woman! And after
our
dinner guests leave, believe me, you are going to be one lucky man, Ed
Chambers.” I then turned to exit the café.
“How
many guests are we expecting tonight
anyway?”
“Three.
And don’t worry. I already
know what they will want to eat.”
“Hehehe.
I don’t know why we even bother
taking orders. You could just tell me what to cook and we could
have it ready for the customers and on the table when they walk in!”
“You know, that could work. Except I
think most of them would have a heart attack or just be too weirded out
by it all!” I laughed. Then I went to the market to get a
few
needed items for tonight.
Well, that is it for chapter
one. Please let me know what you think, and thanks for
reading.
FOOTNOTE:
1 The Waltons was created by Earl Hamner, Jr. and
began airing on CBS as a series on September 14, 1972 and the last
episode aired on June 4, 1981. Richard Thomas starred as John Boy
Walton. Lee Rich was the executive producer.