OF LOVE AND CHANCE
Chapter Three: A Chance To LOVE
a story by:
This is a
story about, well,
love and chance. It is for the most part, a work of pure fiction,
though some of the situations discussed are drawn from life experiences
(particularly the romantic ones). Though not in the beginning,
this story will eventually contain sexual acts between consenting
adults. Gay characters have gay sex, so if this bothers you, or
if it is illegal to read such materials due to your age or where you
live, then please do not read further. All copy rights are held
by the author, so please do not duplicate, print, alter, or resubmit (or
anything else I may have missed ) this
story without first obtaining written
permission from the author.
Further notes: This
story will address several social issues in a
perspective in which you may or may not agree. It is also a story
centered around life and love between friends, family, and partners,
along with romance, and it is not intended to be a jerk-off
story. There are spiritual and paranormal themes which affect the
lives of the characters. Finally, the story is told in the
various points of view of the characters involved. (To make this
process easier, each character's story is distinguished by a specific
color and font style dedicated to that character.)
This is my first attempt at
writing fiction of any kind. If you
have any comments, ideas, suggestions, etc., I would love to hear
them. I have greatly enjoyed the comments I have received thus far and
wish to thank you all for taking the time to send them.
Please contact me via firstname.lastname@example.org
was really happy for Kal in finding love, but I knew that was not the
path for me, at least not now anyway. I am just not interested in
settling down, because I still have too much left in life to
live. Perhaps, someday, I will feel differently. But, for
this time in my life, I just want to experience the world, at least my
little part of it. I don't want to look back one day and
regret not doing something.
Sure, I made mistakes, and I will probably make a billion more before
my life has ended, but those mistakes are what makes me who I am.
And I like who I am. So, I can honestly say I have no
regrets. Like my delve into drugs. I was a pure mess, but
Kal and company helped me through it. I wondered what purpose it
served for a while. Now, I know it was for a good cause. I
am proud to say that I am a substance abuse peer counselor at the
mission. And with Mic's guidance, I lead three support
groups. I don't think our purpose in life is to avoid making
mistakes. I think it is to learn from our mistakes and help
others with this knowledge.
Kal and Kanawha, what a sexy combination they made. So help me, I
would gladly tango with either of those guys (let's not even mention
the thoughts of a three-way). I could tell,
however, that their dance card had been punched full by destiny, for
they would slowly waltz their lives only with one another. Hey, I
can spot a member of Club V from a mile away, and these boys were
definitely charter members. Hela had whacked me good for bringing
it up to Kal earlier, but I was honestly just trying to point out that
some guys, like me for one, are highly interested in getting it
on. I just wanted him to be prepared for the possibility that sex
could come up. I mean,
it is a natural course of action, after all.
Sure, Kal may not have sexed
with someone, but I knew he had thought about it. He is a man, ya
know. The fact that he was dating another man only made it all
the more important for him to be prepared, because his date had to have
thought about having sex at some point, too. It is not only
logical, but it is also natural, like I said... part of being a sexual
being. It relieved me a little
together, because I knew they had both saved themselves for just one
dance... the last dance... the one that would take them through this
life and into the here-after. In watching the two of them... the
way they responded to one another... the way Kal kept biting his lip...
the way Kanawha kept stroking Kal's hand... the look that was in both
their eyes... and the passion that was so evident in their kiss... and
the fact that they are both just so damned gorgeous... well, I knew it
was going to be one hell of a dance, once they got their asses out on
the dance floor, if ya know what I mean.
Kanawha's response to my question put me at complete ease, and I no
longer felt like Kal needed our protection as far as he was
concerned. He had even won Hela over to his side, which is a
miracle in itself. When the guys left, I was itching to get
hooked up for a little while. Those plans were shot, however, the
moment Hela gave me the look. Two glances, one towards Jew and
Shaft, the other towards our new set of twin friends, and I knew
exactly what she wanted to do. And she was asking for my help in
setting the stage, so what else could I do.
'Divide and conquer time.' I
thought, as I suggested we have a movie night. Knowing Mic's
intuitive abilities and her soft-spot for romance, I left her in Hela's
group... along with victims group one, Jena and Ethan. They were
to fix snacks. I took the remaining group, along with victims
group two upstairs to the movie room.
Being an old hotel, this place is huge. Upstairs on the second
floor, there is what was once a music salon, where people used to come
to listen to piano and other kinds of instrumentalists. We
decided to make it into a hub for our interactions with one
another. There are two things our group enjoys the most:
movies and music (my kind of movies are a little different from
everyone else, hehehe, as my definition of action and what a thrill is
seems to be a bit bolder than your average person in this house).
So, we utilized our resources and our
connections at the mission to create the movie room. There were a
bunch of lounge chairs and couches throughout the hotel. Shaft
and I are rather good with tools... and yea' I am good with more kinds
of tools than those found in a bedroom for any of you smart asses out
there (hehehe, you are my kind
of people)... so we fixed up the furniture and little by little
reupholstered them as we could afford it. We took several of the
loungers and couches, along with accent tables, for furniture in the
movie room. From the mission, which is funded by some kind of
private grant and located in an old elementary school, we scored a
projector and a movie screen. Later on, Jew bought us a laptop
projector, and when you hooked that up to a DVD player and surround
equipment, it made for one hell of a theater. So we call it the
movie room. There is also a lot of sound equipment and
instruments in there from Shaft and Cole's old garage band days, along
with a kick ass stereo Mic's husband had bought her for their
anniversary last year. There is also a baby grand we have
restored. Sometimes, we Karaoke... we all love to
sing, though some of us are much better than others.
We also did a lot of fixing up to the place... some of the
each of our bedrooms, the laundry, kitchen, the lobby(which is our
living room downstairs), and the movie room. Though we
still had much to do in completely restoring the old hotel, it was a
rather nice home, if I do say so myself. The founder, which is
the guy who started up the mission, purchased this hotel along with the
school. We get to live here, rent and utility free, in exchange
for our work at the mission and here at the hotel. Every few
months, we are allotted so much money to use towards refurbishing
her. We also each get a small spending allowance once a month,
which we use for food, books, and other essentials. It is a
great undertaking, and a lot of hard labor, but we all work together
and actually have fun doing it.
"Th-thank God!" Jew said as we
entered the room, breathing deeply to calm himself. "I can... uh... speak again." He began doing
his kata routine to help further calm himself.
Shaft chuckled, "I know what
there guy. I needed a break from gushing myself."
Putting two and two together, I figured out that Jew was battling his
stuttering problem again, no doubt due to his Jena-induced hormonal
high. "Oh, Jew, you poor
guy. Is it that bad?" I asked.
"Do you remember me... mmm... in kindergarten." he said slowly
and deliberately. When Jason is relaxed, he can concentrate and
form what he is trying to say in his mind. With a deliberate and
steady pace, he can overcome his stuttering (Sometimes he mmm's and uh's in the middle, but he does not
stutter. Most of the time, when it is just the seven of us, he
doesn't even do that. He had been doing really well all week, in
fact). In times of excitement and nervousness, however, his
calm is gone along with his concentration, and his stuttering returns
with a vengeance (He and I have been working on this, though, and he is
making great progress). I just smiled and shook my head yes.
"Well, it's like being... mmm... five all over again." he
said, and his expressions just added to that image as I pictured him as
he was the day we met. He was so cute back then, but he was a
doll baby now. A real looker, if you ask me.
God, I had such a crush
on him for
several years, but we ended up being really close friends, and I just
love him to death. I think if I ever had a soul mate, it would be
him. We just have that kind of relationship. We confide in
each other. Not that our whole group does not confide in one
another, it is just that Jew and I tend to turn to each other more so
than to anyone else. Maybe that is why I am studying to
be a Speech Pathologist. "Uh... hormonally, like in seventh grade."
he added, stopping his kata. Boy, did I remember those years.
"Oh, sweetness! I can only
imagine." I grabbed him into a hug and ran my fingers
through his hair. "We'll figure
out something. Just try and stay calm and focused. Believe
me, I know that is hard, 'cause I can't focus on much of anything other
than a good piece of ass." I said, as I lowered my hand and
pinched him on his ass cheek. "See
what I mean!"
Jew just laughed. "Maybe, you
can... mmm... I don't know, sit between us and keep me
laughing, s-so I don't have to... uh... you know, speak."
I smiled at his putting the 'I
know' and 'you
know' where he did. It was one of the things I
suggested he try to use. I love him no matter what, and I could
care less about him stuttering or not, as far as his worth as a person
goes that is. He wants to be as close to a 'normal' life as
possible, though, so it makes this a top concern for me. He
people judge him because of his stuttering, and as much as I hate it,
he is right. So, to make his conversation skills better, I
suggested that he say something like 'I don't know' after he mmm'd or uh'd to make the other person realize
that he was thinking about what he was saying. Most people do not
know just how much concentrated
effort it takes my Jew to speak as fluently as he does.
I was just radiating with pride as I kissed his cheek. He
and grinned ear to ear from having my approval.
"Well, darling, although I would love
to be in a two-way or thee-way with you any day," I started,
winking at him, "I think the presence
of a girl in that little triad would make my poor Willy wilt." He
chuckled and blushed a little more. "Of course I'll run interference for you,
if you need me too. We're tight, you and me. Just give me
"Thanks, Roe." he said, hugging
"I have a feeling, though, that Hela
has something up her sleeve... besides her ugly arm, that is. "
Cole looked up from consoling her brother. "That's what I gathered as well. Oh,
heaven help us. Hela is on a mission!" Silence then fell,
as we each contemplated the possibilities of the evening.
"Well, I guess we should get
everything set up." Shaft said, breaking the
silence. We all pitched in and got things ready.
Soon, Hela's group arrived with the snacks. I leaned into Jew and
whispered, "Remember, we are all here
for you, studly-dudly. You just give the signal." He
"Well group, I have an idea that I
think will be great fun, especially for Roe and Jew." Hela
"What's that?" I
Hela said slyly, and I totally understood. Jew sighed with relief
as, of course, he did too. For one thing, Jew had a great singing
voice, one that I knew would really impress Jena. But, the more
practical application of Grease
was that it was a musical, one which we all acted out the parts and
performed the numbers as the movie played. Hey, Don't knock it till you try
it. It is great fun and entertainment (too bad none of the guys
would act out any of my movies, if ya feel what I'm sayin').
was one of the therapies Jew used, both as a kid and an adult, to help
him with his stuttering. See,
when he sings, he does not stutter. When he doesn't stutter, he
doesn't worry about someone else, in this case Jena, laughing at him
or thinking he is a loser. When he doesn't worry, he can relax
and concentrate on what he is going to say, which means he does not
stutter. Yea, there are more technical aspects to it as well, but this
is the important part. I had to hand it to
one, she had a
brilliant plan in mind for Jew. I just wondered what she was
planning for Shaft.
"OK, I am game with that, but I get to
play Rizzo." I demanded. Ethan looked at me
questioningly, so I said, "We act out
the parts and sing the numbers
along with the movie... and we have three trunks full of props for this
shit. Riz is my favorite. She is a trashy
ho' bitch, just like me."
"I don't really know the movie well. Jena watches it a lot, but I
don't..." Ethan started, but I cut him off.
"Gurl, what do you mean? I
thought all fags loved Grease?"
"Well, this Fag doesn't know if he likes
it or not, cause he hasn't really watched it all the way through.
I SO love Moulin Rouge,
though." he shot back. 'Well,
I hope that Shaft is paying a bit of attention here, as his object of
affection just confirmed that he is indeed a member of our little
Fraternity' I thought, and I could see Hela's appreciation of my
manipulating the situation.
"Oh, thank God! Gurl, you had me
worried." I said, clutching my heart. "Moulin
Rouge, well, we will do that one next, but you have to play
Satine.. you sassy little bitch. As for Grease, don't you worry. I
have sheet music." I said, winking and handing him a folder with
all the songs from Grease in
it. He looked at me perplexedly. I smiled. "What kind of queen would I be if I weren't
is, I had the sheet music because Jew used it sometimes in his
Shaft or Cole played the piano while he sang.
Everyone laughed at that. Then, with Hela's help, everyone
chose or was given her or his part. Jew was Danny, of course, and
Jena was Sandy. Jena and Ethan were a little hesitant at first,
but they really got into it quickly. They even commented that
they thought Kanawha would love our interactive movie idea, and then
burst out laughing (I seriously wondered what that was all
was such a blast. I mean, hell, it is just so damned campy, how
could you not have fun.
I should mention that Mic and I cannot sing for
and Jew totally kick ass, while the
rest of our group sings rather well. They don't seem to mind our not
so tuneful accompaniment.
I have to tell you, though, that Jena can really belt out a
I cried when she sang Hopelessly
Devoted to You. It was beautiful, and, she
looked at Jew
awful lot while doing the number. Ethan had a nice voice, too,
but we'll talk about that one later. I think Jew really
communicated how he felt while singing some of the
songs, particularly Your the One
that I Want. The
way Jena stamped out her q-tip (she says she deplores smoking) was
when she grabbed his hands and placed them on her body, saying the
lines 'If your filled with affection your to shy to convey, meditate in
my direction. Feel you way', well, I thought his
pants were gonna pop open. I don't know if anyone else noticed
or not, but I am always checking to see what is in the basket... I
just cannot help it... and he had a really big basket that was hard to
resist checking. Well, needless to say, Grease ended well.
Now, as for Moulin Rouge.
It was apparent that Ethan should be Christian because his voice was
even better than Ewan McGregor's, something I never thought I
would live to say. But, for it to work, we needed to pair them
up, so we assigned Shaft as Christian and Ethan as Satine.
However, the two of them decided to change parts, seeing as their
voices were better suited that way (Shaft has a great voice, but it is
just a tad bit deeper and has a more airy
quality to it). I, of course, played the Duke, and we stuck Hela
with being Harold Zidler. Our
Like a Virgin was rather humerus
to say the least, though I thought for sure those big breasts of hers
were gonna strangle me. As for Ethan and Shaft, well, they were
motion, quite into the parts. I think that is why Shaft was bold
enough to grab Ethan's talent, so to say, just as Satine does to
Christian in the movie. They both blushed big time when it
happened, but I think Shaft was impressed by the size of his talent
regardless, hehehe. Ethan sang Your
Song flawlessly, and their rendition of Elephant Love Medley was fantastic,
but the best, by far was Come What
May (both versions presented in the movie). I just hoped
the words they sang from their hearts proved to be true for both their
Tired from singing, and still no arrival from Kal and Killian,
decided to watch a girly movie. Mic chose Dying Young, which really started
to get a reaction from Cole. However, before she could object,
Ethan enthused it
as being his favorite.
"Really?" Hela inquired.
"Oh, yea. I know it is sad and
all, but it is just so romantic. Hillary and Victor are both
looking for a reason to live, and they find it in each other...
At the beginning,
she took care of him
because it was her job, and that purpose gave her a reason to
live. But later, Hillary cared for him out of love, and
he was her reason for
had no guarantees at all, but she loved him anyway. I mean,
lord, she is a nurse. She knew he could get sick again, but she
took a chance and followed her heart. She saw him as
the man she loved, not as her patient or a guy with blood cancer.
Victor fought to get better because he loved Hillary. I know he
fooled her into thinking he was better, and he said he wanted her to
see him with hair, but it was so much deeper than that. He
to make sure that she loved him for being him, not for being a sick man
she felt obligated to love." He was so animated
when he said
this, so we all knew it came from his very soul. And the more he
talked, the more moved to tears we all became... Jena, maybe because of
the story, but the rest of us had our own reasons. "I could totally understand his
position. Was it really love, or was she only playing along with
it so that he would have a reason to fight and get better? He
just had to know the truth. And, yea, it ends tragically, but it
is still romantic. They took their chances on real love, and even
if it were for but a brief moment, they had real love. What more
could you ask for out of life? No one has any guarantee of
tomorrow. I could be hit by a car tonight. All you can do
is make the most of the moment, for you never know if you will have
another one. I just... um..."
Shaft stood to his feet and pulled the totally (but pleasantly)
surprised Ethan into one whopper of a passionate kiss. "M-m-m. Not that I'm complaining,
cause I have been just dying for you to do that all evening, but what
was that for?" Ethan said. He noticed Shaft's tears
and wiped them with the tip of his finger.
"Let's just say you inspired me to
live for the moment." Shaft softly replied as he kissed Ethan
again. "We'll talk about it
later. Right now, lets just cuddle up and watch your favorite
movie." He then took Ethan's hand and led him to one of
the loungers, where he lay with Ethan wrapped up tightly in his arms.
Even I had nothing to say about that. I was crying way to
much. Hela even let me hug her, she was so touched. Mic and
Cole came over and joined in for a group hug, and Cole whispered, "God bless you both for this. And
you, too, Mic, for your intuitiveness in picking that movie.
I... He..." but the tears of joy took her voice. And
really, she did not need to say anything, because we all knew what she
So, we all settled in for the movie and a good cry.
I was not the least bit worried when Killian said "I think we need to talk." for I was
sure he knew what needed to be done.
The little guy kept
trying to look away, but Killian kept bringing the
kid's gaze back to his own. I knew the shame the little guy felt,
because I was still connected to him emotionally. "I 'm real
about all this. Truly I am." he began, and his eyes
were flooded with tears of regret. "I was
I needed some money, or they were gonna hurt me."
was going to hurt you?"
Killian asked, and I could feel the certainty Killian had, which lead
me to believe
that he already knew all of the answers.
this gang of guys. If
you don't give 'em money every week, they hurt you... " he
paused. I could feel his terror he had over these boys. "Normally,
I get lucky begging for food money. But, not this week. I
have to have it to 'em by 10:30, or they'll come lookin' for me.
One of the kids last week didn't pay up. They found him yesterday
at the trash dump, beaten to death." My heart was
breaking for the poor child, but I trusted Killian enough to let him
call the shots on this one.
you decided to
rob us, is that right?" Killian calmly inquired.
I don't wanna die. I
really wasn't gonna hurt nobody. The gun ain't even loaded. I was
take what I needed, just fifty bucks. You guys looked like you
could've afforded that much." He stopped and looked at
me. "When I got
enough to see you guys, I recognized ya, and I got real mad."
sorry about today. I feel
just awful about it." I stated. Then, it hit
me. "Hey, why
did you say those things and try
to hit me to begin with?"
every time I see ya, you look
at me like I am some low-life trash. I'm just a kid. I
can't help it that I ain't rich." he replied, and I could
feel the hurt within him.
don't think I have ever seen you
before today." I
ya have. We see each other
almost every day. And it is always the same look you give
me. Like I am disgusting and you are so much better'n me."
he shot, and I knew he spoke the truth, because I could feel it if he
were lying. "Well, I
return the favor today when I saw ya bein' all touchy feely with him."
He then pointed to my love. "I
figured that most people look down on that sorta stuff, so I was in a
position to look down on you for once. Truth is, I don't really
care 'bout that, you two bein' together and all. I have too many
other things to worry 'bout,
like my next meal and stuff."
I felt like the lowest
form of slime to ever exist at this point.
I could feel all the hurt I had obviously caused him, even though I
could not remember ever doing so.
"Again, I can only apologize for my
actions towards you. I hope you can forgive me."
And I was relieved, for I felt his feelings towards me change. He
then resumed talking with Killian. "Like I
said, I really wasn't gonna hurt
ya', but I got all mad. I'm real sorry about that now though."
me say this, and you just think
about it." Killian
"Now granted, you told us the gun was not loaded, and I
believe you. But what if one of the two of us had a gun, and ours
was loaded. What if we were so frightened that you were going to
hurt us, that we shot you?" The kid thought about my
love's words for moment
and then shivered as the reality of what he said sank in. Killian
then continued, "Yea.
Guns are weapons. They are not toys. Weapons are used to
defend, protect, hurt, kill, and destroy. In every instance there,
someone gets hurt or dies." He paused for a
moment. "Now, as
far as needing
the money, I understand your motivations, but it is still wrong to take
something from someone else, regardless if they can afford it or
not. There are other ways to get money, you know."
The kids eyes grew huge
when Killian said this, and he immediately
reacted. "I don't
wanna do that
Some of the kids do that, but I don't wanna do that."
thought. 'At least
spared that much.' "He is not
talking about hustling,
kid." I carefully
about getting a job, or doing legal things for
people, like mowing lawns?"
hire me?" he sadly
stated. "If I came
house and knocked on your door, just wantin' to see if you'd let me cut
your grass, what would you do? Look at me." With his
arms raised, he twirled about in a circle. "You would
call the police, not even
botherin' to answer your door. You'd think I was some low-life
thug tryin' to rob you or somethin'." With
complete shame, I had to admit that I would have done just that.
there no one at home to turn to?
No one in your family?"
Killian asked. Even I knew the answer to that one, because the
loneliness he was feeling was so very strong.
family? What home?
Look, I don't have nobody. I live on the streets. They put
me in those state homes, but the streets are better'n living
there. They've got so many of us orphans to look after, they
prob'ly never even noticed I's gone. No one came lookin for me
he replied in sorrow.
just have to see what we can do
about that. Right now, though, I am kinda hungry. We were
on our way to go eat when we ran back into you."
little guy muttered, as he felt broken-hearted and let down. "Well,
I'll see ya' around sometime."
Then, he slowly began to depart.
kid." I stated
"Are you not coming with us?"
could feel his excitement and surprise as he asked, "You
mean it? After what I did?
You want me to come with you?"
answered his last question.
"To dinner, for starters. To
live, if you like."
knew he needed reassurance, so I said,
"Yea, kid. WE WANT YOU." I just
felt that he needed to hear what I knew we both felt and thought.
"There is just
something very special about you. Somehow, I know we will never
able to live our lives without you being there with us."
He ran and hugged us both, and we all cried a bit. I kissed his
forehead and said, "Well,
kid, I think you are a little bit
too old to be called kid, so I was wondering if you have a name."
shot me a look as if to say 'What?
You mean you have to ask? You don't know?' I gave
a look back to Killian that assured him I had figured it out.
I mean, I knew he was
given to us by God, and we had met him in the gardens, so it just had
to be. Then, he confirmed it. "My
Chance. Chance Samuel Givens." With
that, we headed towards the car.
"I am Kanawha Darkstorm, and this is
Killian Lord." I offered as we walked and he clung to us
both. "Chances given." I
mumbled to Killian, and he just looked at me. "Chance Samuel Givens... Chance S.
"Well, is that divine or what?" he laughed.
"Guys, I don't know if I should go with ya'... to eat that is." Chance
started. "I am all dirty and
stuff, and people will laugh and stare at me. If they even let me
in." he said, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in
"Not where we are going, little buddy." I offered. "I'd tell ya where, but it is a
secret surprise for Killian, and I don't want to ruin it. But
trust me, you'll be fine." With that, our little Chance
just perked right up.
"You know," my love said, leaning his head on my shoulder, "Just when I thought the night could not
get any closer to perfection, all this happened. Just goes to
show you that no matter how good things get, they can always get even
"Only you could be so optimistic." I said as I drew him into a
passionate kiss. "Most guys
would have wanted a refund after this." I joked.
"Lucky for you I am not most guys!"
he skillfully rebutted.
"How right you are, my love. How
right you are." I said caressing his cheek and looking
into his eyes.
"Um. Guys?" Chance
said to gain our attention. "If
you can keep from humpin' each other in the parkin' lot, we might at
least make it to the car." We both laughed at that.
His belly growled, and he blushed. "Sorry, but I'm kinda hungry."
"Well, then, I guess we better get
going." As I opened the door for Chance and Killian, I
asked. "Chance, buddy, how old
are you, anyway."
"Fourteen. Why?" he said
as he got in the back seat.
"I just wondered how long it would be
before I get to take you for driving lessons is all." I
said, as Killian sat down and I shut the door. I walked around to
the driver's side and opened the door.
"What is today?" Chance
I sat down and shut my door. I thought a minute and realized that
he probably didn't keep up with the dates that much, considering his
recent living situation. "Today
is August the 15th."
"You have four months and three
days." He said, excitedly. "Then, I turn 15 and can get a learner's
permit. Hey, how old are you guys, and when are your birthdays?"
"I am 25, and I will be 26 this
Saturday." Killian said.
"Your shitting me!" I said, as
Killian swatted me.
"Language." he warned. "And no, I was born on August the 19th."
"Sorry." I apologized as I
rubbed my arm. "This is just
too freaky. We are both orphans. We both lost our parents on our
6th birthday's. And, we were both born on the exact same
day! Now, how weird is that?"
"What? Oh, Wow. That is
just... Wow." Killian muttered.
"You guys each lost both your parents
on your sixth birthdays?" Chance asked. We both
shook our heads in confirmation.
"Wow. I am so sorry."
he offered, patting both our shoulders as he sat in the middle of the
back seat. "I don't really
remember my mother. She died from cancer when I was three.
I just have one picture of her, and I keep it with me all the
time." He fished into his back pocket and produced a warn
picture for us to see.
"She was lovely." I told
Chance as I held the picture. Killian agreed and handed back our
little guy's treasure. Chance seemed somewhat proud that we
thought his mother lovely. " You
know, you look a lot like her." I said as I put the keys in the
He positioned himself so he could see in the rear view mirror. "I guess I do." he smiled.
"Seatbelts." I instructed
everyone. "Let's go eat."
On the drive, Chance asked where we worked, and I told
him about my work-study through the university. Killian
told him about his work at the mission, which is when he thought to
call one of the social workers employed there for his help in getting
things squared away with our keeping Chance. That conversation spawned
several more questions from Chance, which we both answered. Soon,
we arrived at our destination. Killian had been so engrossed in
talking with Chance, he never realized where we were until I opened his
door and he looked around.
"Oh! What a great little
surprise this is. You arranged for dinner, here?" he
"Yep. I couldn't think of
anywhere else I would rather eat than our little café, so I called and talked with
Valerie. Oh, by the way, did you know she and her husband Ed, the
guy who does all the cooking, own the place? I would have never
thought it, the way she was just so casual with us and all.
Anyway, I hope this is OK with you." I said. His
reply was but a rather strong, passionate kiss, which left me a little
too excited, if you know what I mean. Thank God we were wearing
jackets, because those pants did not leave much to the imagination.
"Oh, they have great food here."
Chance said. "I get breakfast
here a lot. Sometimes dinner too."
Then it hit me, and I began to wail with guilt and shame. I just fell
to my knees and hugged him close. He
was that kid I saw almost every morning digging through the garbage
trying to find something to eat. The one I have always been so
"Yea, Kanawha. That 's how I know ya."
he said, running his fingers through my hair and holding my head close
to his chest. "It's OK,
though. Really. I forgive ya, just like ya forgave
me. Now, we both just have to do better." he said,
lifting my head and smiling at me. Gently, he wiped the tears
from my eyes. Killian was puzzled, but
just pushed it all away. "It's
all just water under the bridge. Nothin' to worry about
'He may forgive me and let it
go, but I promise you, God, I will never let this boy go needing
anything ever again. He will know I love him for as long as I
draw breath.' I vowed.
I stood and grabbed my little guy up into a big bear hug, raising him
up off the ground. "You know,
you really are something special! I am so glad we finally have
each other." Chance then kissed me on the cheek and
hugged me back.
"You know, a guy could get a little
jealous with such a nice looking young man kissing his boyfriend."
Killian joked, and Chance just giggled and kissed me again on the
cheek. "Oh, you wanna play
dirty, do you?" my love jested as he tickled Chance's
sides. Chance just squirmed and shrilled with laughter. "What do you say we go have our first
family meal?" This brought out smiles in all of us, and we
happily went inside the café.
There, at our little table, was a candle lit dinner, set for three.
is always a wonderful experience to be a vessel for the good Lord's
work, but seeing that little Chance smile, and I had to just thank our
maker for allowing me the privilege to be a part of bringing the three
of them together. If my only purpose in life was to assist this
moment into being, then my life was well worth it. Ed came up
behind me and rubbed my back.
"So, this is why I have cooked so many special orders, only for you to
box them up, bag them, and then throw them in the garbage can out
back?" I gently shook my head as his arms wrapped around
my waste and he leaned his head over my shoulder to watch the three of
them. "I knew you had your
reasons, but I never knew they were this important. To think we
were feeding this poor kid the only meals he had to eat."
Then, he kissed my cheek. "Thanks
for letting me be a part of this, Val. You just don't know what
this means to me." He said, as his tears fell on my
"I could never ask for a better life,
nor a better person to share it with, Ed. And I should be the one
thanking you for letting me be a part of this. You were the one
who thought of opening up this place. None of this would have
been possible without you." I said, leaning my head back
and snuggling my face against his.
"I guess we should start this meal out. I know poor Chance is
hungry again. Breakfast only lasts so long, you know."
With that, Ed and I entered with drinks and salads on the serving
cart. "Unsweetened tea for two,
and a large chocolate milk for this fine looking lad." I
said, patting Chance's head. "I
am so overjoyed to see that everything has worked out."
Killian and Kanawha both stood and embraced me. "Thank you so much, for everything."
"Oh, sugar, it wasn't me who arranged
for all this. I just gave you his message. That is
all. He is the one who gave your love a Chance." I
"Yea, but you helped watch over the
little guy, feeding him and all every morning, while I just..." he
started, but I interrupted him.
"The past is gone, and the future is
not ours to claim. All that we have exists in the here and now.
Forgive yourself and move on. Chance has. Learn from your
past and make the most of the present." I said. He
nodded and half-smiled. Then the lovers thanked Ed for helping
watch over the little guy. Ed just blushed and winked at me as he
set the salads on the table. "Now,
get to eating. Your little one is hungry." I smiled and
swatted them both lightly on the shoulders.
"Will you and Ed please join us, at
least." Kanawha asked.
Then, Chance looked Ed and me with those hazel eyes of his, saying "Please. I owe you guys a lot.
Ya may not know it, but you did somethin' special for me. I just
wish there was somethin' I could do to pay ya back."
In all the years I have loved him, there has never been a moment I have
ever felt regret for marrying Ed Chambers. He just continued to
remind me why. "Well, we could always
use a little
help around here. But it would have to be after school or on the
weekends. And, of course, you would have to be paid to do it,
'cause our insurance does not allow us to have volunteers." Ed
said, and we all smiled at him.
"You mean it? You'd hire me?"
"Of course I would." Ed
replied. "An honest, caring
young man like yourself must be a hard worker. Of course, we will
have to get you a special work permit. But I have a friend from
church who can take care of that. So, would you like the
"Oh, would I!" he
exclaimed, jumping up and hugging Ed. Killian and Kanawha just
smiled and mouthed their thank you's to Ed, who just turned beat red
with all the sudden attention. My Ed can be pretty insightful
sometimes, and I made a mental note to thank him properly later on
"Well, then it is settled. You
are officially my little helper." Ed said, ruffing up Chance's
hair. "Now, why don't you go on
and eat a little something." he smiled.
"Not unless you join us, boss."
Chance said. "Otherwise, I
can't eat neither. Seein's how I work here now." What a
smile that little fellow has. That was all it took to melt Ed
into a pinky ring just Chance's size.
"Well, if you give us a few minutes,
we will get everything ready and be back to join you, then." Ed
said, turning towards the kitchen. He stopped and turned back to
Chance. "Hey, are you sure you
aren't the boss? It kinda seems like it to me." he
joked, and Chance just giggled. He made it as far as the kitchen,
when he turned again and asked, "Well,
squirt, I just wondered if you would like to help cook for
everybody. I sure could use your help if you are willing."
Chance just glowed with excitement as he raced to Ed's side. "I'll let you handle everything out on this
end, darling." he said to me with a wink. I knew that was his
way of apologizing for fussing earlier because I brought back fixings
for five special dinners, not three. While at the
market, he told me 'Ya
better make it five, Val', so I did. Accepting his
apology with a
nod, I smiled to myself.
"You certainly have a great husband."
"You just don't know the half of it,
boys." I smiled.
"So, tell me about it. I see
many big picture things, but not the small details that I find
interesting to know." I began "I also may be able to answer a few
questions... if he gives me the answers and allows me to, that
is. But, we can see
anyway. So tell me about it."
Killian began telling me everything from his perspective and all the
things that were going on with his gifts. Isn't it amazing
God gives us all completely unique gifts. Though similar in both
being gifts of knowing, Killian's gift was vastly different than my
own. He relayed to
me how he saw symbols from another language he
did not know, but could interpret their meaning. I then asked him
to draw a few of the symbols he saw, especially the one he was unable
to interpret. He explained to me that the symbols often
moved, which also added to the meaning.
"Hmm. You know, Killian, when I
first learned of my gift, it came and went as yours does
currently. But, I learned to harness it through prayer,
meditation, study, and practice. It is no different than singing
or drawing, which are also great gifts from God. His gifts or
talents are meant to be used, and through their use, we get better with
them. But, I think you actually have two, maybe three, gifts
that you are using simultaneously, so it is no wonder you are having
some problems with it. I would like to set up some time with you
to explore this further and see if we cannot figure it out together. If
you are willing, that is, Killian."
"Oh, please, call me Kal. All my
friends do." he smiled, and I graciously accepted his
friendship. "I was hoping you
would offer to do that. I just feel like I could have intervened
more if I had better control and understanding about how it works."
"Well, it all works out according to
God's plan, not ours. But, I agree that control and understanding
are important here, because you will be using your gifts a great deal
in the days to come. That much I know for sure." I
replied. Then, I turned to Kanawha, who was fascinated by Kal's
gift and the symbols he had drawn. "Now,
tell me how things went for you. I know your gifts are starting
to surface. Explain to me everything you can think of about the
Kanawha told me about his reoccurring dream and his being able to sense
Chance's presence. He elaborated about the voice speaking to him
in the alley way. He described in details as best he could about
the energies taking the shapes of the animals in his dreams, except he
had never seen the
bear who was around him. Kal interrupted and told us of his
reoccurring dream, which was almost identical to Kanawha's. This
explained the bear, but, it also brought up a question for Kal and
Kanawha as to why Kanawha saw a badger, yet Kal saw a bunny. When
the animals transformed, Kanawha saw an eagle, while Kal saw a
dove. Kanawha said that the badger he saw did not change, or at
least he did not see it change. He admitted that it might have
while he was holding Chance. Finally, he discussed how he could
feel emotions from Chance. Even now, he was still connected to
"Well, the dreams seem to be a
manifestation of the gift of knowing. It is odd that you both had
such a similar dream, which I am sure was indeed the same dream, but
the one you were saving was somehow different. Maybe it is just
your perceptions of the world around you, maybe not. Something to
ponder later on, but for now, I cannot answer that one." I
counseled. "As to the voice, well God
speaks to us all in whatever ways we let him. You are lucky to
have such a clean-cut voice, believe me. To me, he whispers like
a gentle breeze. It took me a long time to learn to hear and
listen to his
"Now, the animal-shaped energies you saw, that one I can answer and
explain. That gift is the discerning of spirits. You have
the very rare gift of seeing the spirit or soul of a person and the
state in which that soul exists. The badger was
injured. Little Chance's very soul has also been injured.
The fox was loving and trusting of you. Well, it is obvious
what kind of a man Kal is." I said pointing to him as he blushed
profusely. "I also think that
your heritage has something to do with your seeing their souls as
animals. Many Native American stories and folk lore are filled
with the presence of animal spirits, and each one held special
meanings. Perhaps, you might want to get in touch with your
"Maybe you're right about that."
Kanawha softly said.
"Sensing Chance's presence seems to be
tied to sensing his emotions, and that, dear, is empathy.
Kanawha, You are able to put yourself emotionally in another's shoes,
so to say. It is not mentioned in the Bible when the gifts are
explained, per say, but it is hinted at several times through the
stories. However, empathy stems from love, which is mentioned
the Bible as the greatest of all gifts. I think you both have
that gift in many forms." I paused. "I know you love Chance, and I feel certain
that is why you remain connected to him now. Can you sense Kal?"
Kanawha searched within himself a minute. "Yea, I can. Quite strongly in
fact. I think I have since the instant we met." He
pondered for a moment. "Look.
I am not normally so touchy feely, but since I met him, I have been
just oozing with emotion. Do you think that is why? Am I
feeling his emotions and not my own?"
I just laughed and shook my head. "Oh, son. Heavens no. Kal just
awakened a part of you that you buried deep the day you buried your
said that in your dreams, Kal touched you and you were healed.
His love for you has enabled you to love again. I do believe some of the internal peace you
have been exhibiting
has come from your sensing the love he feels for you, though.
Perhaps you have sensed the peace about him as well."
"Yea, I think you are right about that, too. I am not really into
people much, but I knew I had to go through with meeting everyone
tonight, like it was a necessary evil or something. Let's just
say that it made me rather nervous while I was getting ready this
evening. I even hurled a few times just thinking about it.
But, the closer I was to his front door, the more it all
subsided. As soon as I saw Killian, though, all I felt was his
love, and every bit of my nervousness and doubt just faded away."
Kanawha related. Then, he reflected a moment. "So, will it always be like this?"
Again I laughed. "No,
child. Everything you are experiencing is so new
to you, and it is overwhelming. It was like that with me and my
gift, too. But, in time, you will find a balance. You won't
be exactly the way you were before, because you have changed and
grown. But, you won't be oozing
with emotion either." I consoled.
"Thank God." Kanawha said with relief. "It is just too weird being so squishy around everybody. It
is just SO not me. A little bit is OK, I guess, because it has helped
me relate better to Ethan and Jena... well, even Hela for that
matter. I am just not ready to be quite so open." he
admitted. "But, I LOVE
and Chance so much, and I
don't want this love I feel for them to ever go away. I need this
love to be real." Tears filled his eyes, as he looked to his
beloved. "I was so lost and
alone before I met you. I don't want to go back to
being that empty shell of a man again. I just hope you still love
me when I am me once more."
Kal was touched by this, and rubbed his lovers hand. Nothing
needed to be said, because his eyes said it all, and Kanawha's eyes
mirrored that love right back to Kal.
"I am glad to hear you say that,
because I believe that your empathy
is intertwined with another gift, the gift of healing. Only, the
gift of healing works within you in an emotional capacity. Chance
seems to be much better than the state in which you found him,
and I am certain it has everything to do with you. I believe the
emotional apex and release was a healing point for our little
guy. For his soul to be
completely healed, though, he is going to need your love and
support. And, at times, that might mean you have to get squishy for him." I
"I would do anything for that little guy. If helping him meant
that I had to stay this way, then I would gladly do it." he
I realized that our time to talk privately grew very
short. "Look, let's set aside
some time later to discuss this further. That is just the general
gist of it all, but our time right now is short." I said,
glancing to the kitchen, and they nodded their understanding. "You have all you need to go on for now,
anyway." I assured them. 'But
there is so much more to it
all, boys. So much more to learn and
discover. And so much more you have yet to do down your path. And
your journey is only getting started.' I thought to myself.
Within a few minutes, Chance and Ed were carting in dinner, and we
reset the table for five. You just had to love that little guy,
and it was so apparent that Ed was falling quickly for him.
Hmm. So was I for that matter. He was just a wonderful
young man. Everything was set on the table, and we were ready to
do some fine dining.
"Um, guys?" Chance
"Yes, my little man." Kal
"You know, it's been a real long time
since I ate with other people
'round me. So, if I do somethin' wrong, please don't get mad and
hate me or nothin', OK?" he softly asked, looking at us
those huge hazel eyes of his.
"Never, Chance." Kanawha
answered. "Nothing you could
do would make any of us hate you. And none of us here have
perfect table manners either, so don't worry so much." He said,
his fingers through Chances hair.
"You need some help cutting up your
steak?" Kal asked.
Chance nodded yes, and he moved over a little to help him out.
"You do it like this, son." he
said, demonstrating, but Chance just
could not concentrate on what he was doing. He just gawked at
Kal, smiling like he has probably never smiled before.
"Did you mean that? Did you mean
what you just said?" he
"Well, yes. Son, this is how you
cut up a steak." He joked.
Chance just beamed. "See,
there. You just said it
again. Do you really mean it?"
"Well, if everything goes as I am just
about certain it will, it will
be legal. But in our hearts, yes. You are our son, Chance."
Kal smiled, and Kanawha agreed whole-heartedly. Of course, we were all
bit teary after that.
Then, Chance broke the silence again. "M-m-m. This stuff is
good. I never ate no steak before." he said with his mouth
am sorry, but I
had to laugh. He was just so cute. I am, after all, only
"Hehehe. I remember my first
time eating steak." I said, covering
from my slip of laughing. "My
Aunt Betty cooked it, and it was
just terrible. I think an old sneaker would have tasted
better. Of course, nothing Aunt Betty cooked was very
Ed, chimed in with complete agreement, and Chance just giggled. "Good thing she
wasn't cookin for us today, huh, boss?" Ed just grinned
"Ed. Chance. I have to say
this is the best steak I have
ever had." I smiled.
"Well, actually, Chance is the one who
cooked the steak. I just
told him when to turn them and when to take them off. He
master chef today." Ed slyly bragged.
"Son, I don't know what you did, but
you can cook for me any day."
"Well, just don't forget to cook for
me too. OK, son?" Kal
further added. Chance was just glowing from all the praise, and I
leaned over and rubbed my husband's leg in appreciation.
Overall, Chance did rather well with his first real dining
experience. He tried everything offered. Though
tentative at first, he soon found that he even liked broccoli.
Honestly, I do not think there was one item on the menu he did not
was so pleased to see that Kal and Kanawha did not try to correct him,
which I feel certain would have embarrassed poor Chance and further
his fragile self-perception. Rather, they showed him by correct
example and allowed him to pick up on the questionable behavior. I
think it builds better
self-esteem in our impressionable children.
He asked Kal a question, once, and Kal held up his hand showing him to
wait, then brought his hand near his mouth so Chance could see he was
chewing. When finished chewing and swallowing, he answered the
question. From then on, Chance did the same. He
observed us all and imitated our behaviors. He
had slurped a couple of times, but he noticed Ed drink his milk without
doing so, and the behavior ceased.
seconds were offered, Chance eagerly accepted, immolating the manners
he had witnessed. He even ate two pieces of blueberry pie. He
ate his fill, and I was so thankful that he would never again go to
After dinner was over, we sat and drank coffee and hot tea. "So, where do we go from here? What
do we do now?" Kanawha asked.
I responded sagely, "Well, you go
home. You make a life for yourself and your family. You
learn to live together as yourselves, as a couple, and as a
family. Then, you work on your relationships with all those
friends you two have. As the time presents itself, you find
your destiny. Just know that in this, there are no second
chances.... hehehe... he is one of a kind!" They both
just laughed, feeling somewhat relieved. 'What a ride you boys are gonna have.'
I mused to myself. 'And what a
destiny you have waiting on the road ahead.'
fella's offered to help clean things up, but Ed and I refused their
help. We told them it was probably time to be getting Chance to
bed, and they agreed, seeing that it was a little later than they had
realized. Kanawha tried to pay, but Ed refused his money, telling
him that he never charged for a family member's meal. The boys
all smiled at that and thanked us both repeatedly. Chance
asked Ed to be sure and call him when he needed him to work again,
slipping him the phone number Kal had given him when he had
said our goodbyes, and the nice young family was on their way
"Ed, Darling. Lets just leave
this until the morning. I
have something else in mind to do with you besides scrubbing dishes."
"Lead the way, then, darling."
He said eagerly. And off we
were to bed. A few hours later, our little portion of the earth
stopped moving, and we finally settled into sleep.
I know it was not the
smartest thing Jena and I have ever done, but, we did it anyway.
And the worst part of it is, it was all my idea. We secretly
followed the big guy to check out this Killian that had stolen his
heart. Of course, he knew all about it. After he talked to
Killian a few moments and grabbed him into a hug and planted a huge
kiss on him, he then turned. He let
us know he knew we had followed him, summoning us from the bushes where we
were hiding. Frightened, I
he were mad or going to hurt us. He just responded that we best
get our asses in there, so we high-tailed it to the front door.
He then introduced himself, Jena, and I to the herd of people in the
house. Kanawha finally introduced us to Killian.
He was truly everything Kanawha had said he was. And the way they
interacted, without saying a single word, all those mannerisms just let
you know they were truly in love. 'So
this is the guy who has made such a drastic change in the big lug.' I
thought, sizing him up. He was quite gracious, and had such a
wonderful smile as he welcomed us and shook our hands. When he
referred to Kanawha as Love, I just knew I liked him. He then
told us everyone called him Kal, which I thought fit him better
for some reason.
He then introduced us to everyone. Sis about shit herself when
she saw the one they called Jew. I wondered if I would ever be
able to call him that without feeling guilty. I guess I am just too politically
correct or something. Then, he introduced us to another
set of brother/sister twins. Cole was beautiful, but she did not
hold a candle to her brother.
His hair was black, but not raven black like the big guy's. It
was much softer, just like his darkly tanned skin looked like it would
feel... like velvet or silk. His hair was cut close on the sides
and back, but was longer on top. And, the curls just kind of cascaded
loosely off to one side without a definite part. His body seemed
to be covered with more of that soft black hair, but his face was
clean-shaven. He was thin, almost lanky if he were not so
short. He seemed to be my size, which was a complete thrill to
me. I mean, he was
someone I could look eye to eye. Being short, you really get
tired of looking up to people and having them look down at you.
He wore a dark green, loose-fitting T and baggy tan cargo shorts.
He was barefoot, which I thought was so ironic, because I hate wearing
shoes and socks with a passion.
He had such a nice, thin nose, but full, luscious lips with an awesome
set of teeth. They just lit up the whole place when he
smiled. His eyes were so deep brown, it was hard to tell his
pupil from his iris... the kind of eyes in which you could get totally
and I felt myself drowning in them quickly. Overall, he
looked quite young, but I knew we were around the same age from
Kanawha's story earlier. Truth
be told, I looked like a teenager myself, and oh, how my hormones were
racing like one!
As we mingled, though, he just sort of drifted off. 'Too, good to be true, Ethan.' I
told myself. 'Just like it
always is.' I sulked. I looked around the room,
trying to forget he was even there. After all, there was no sense
in pursuing something not meant to be, I justified to myself.
This was a really nice place. There were various hardwoods used
throughout, mostly in cherry and mahogany. The room we were in
was quite spacious, with a lot of antique furniture. Lots of
warm, vibrant colors were used, and it added a homey feeling to the
place. I was looking at the intricate plasterwork on the ceiling,
when I commented on how lovely the place really was. Jena agreed,
then Hela suggested Kal take us on a tour, grabbing Kanawha to stay
with her. Jena and I took this as our opportunity to find out
more about Kal and, well, rake him over the coals a little. Kanawha was our best friend and big
brother. We loved him. Of course we were going to protect
the big lug. Neither of us wanted to see him hurt any more than
he had already been in his rather tragic life. Kal, of
course, answered all our loaded questions with the right answers, and I
welcomed him to our family. We did explain that if he hurt
Kanawha, we would take it out in trade. Maybe it is a southern thing, but
we wanted to make our intentions known. He took it in
stride, and we soon found out that Kanawha had been under a test of his
As they drove off, Hela invited us to stay, which I thought would be
fun. Maybe it is the smart ass in me, but I so wanted to act like
a mad father to Killian and Kal as they came home. It just struck
me as funny. Anyway, Roe suggested we watch a movie, and he took
half the crew with him as Hela and Mic took Jen and I to the kitchen to
fix some snacks.
That Mic is really something. She so played Jena about Jew. But,
when it was all over, I realized that if Sis was a violin in their
orchestra, then I was the cello. I just never saw it coming until
the truck had splattered me on the highway. She slyly lead me
into admitting I was gay after letting me know Shaft was gay,
too. I then found out he was single and had never dated anyone
that they new of since they had met him. Of course, they all knew
I had a major bone going on for Shaft, but Hela indicated that she
thought it was mutual and a 'match
made in heaven'. Oh,
she was so the mastermind. How
dumb can a man get? Looking back, I realize I was but a jukebox,
so totally playing any tune they wanted me to play... and they were
shoving dollars up my ass all evening!
We went up to the movie room, which I must say was an awesome and
innovative idea. Hela decided that we were going to watch
Grease, which I have never
really watched much of before. Roe was
appalled by my admitting this, and his whole
really pushing my buttons. Before I even realized it, he had me
outing myself as a homo... a homo who loved Moulin Rouge, no less. I also
found out at this point that they sang and acted out the movie, which
seemed a little crazy to both Jena and I. Lord, they even had
trunks full of costumes and other props.
But, it did not turn out to be so bad and was actually quite fun,
I must admit. Jena was Sandy opposite Jew's Danny. I have to
say, they made beautiful music together. I know she is my sister,
but Jena has a lovely voice. Jason was really amazing, and I
thought they fit together so well. 'I just hope Jena can keep that big mouth
of hers shut until he gets to know her.' I snickered
Roe had decided that I would be Satine in Moulin Rouge. He was
the Duke, for which he did really well acting the part... but, oh God! His singing
sucked! It could make paint peel off the walls! Hela, on the
other hand, she just brought the house down. What a voice!
Anyway, Shaft was to play Christian. We decided to switch parts,
due to our voices. We were so into our parts, and I think into
each other by this point. In one part, he grabbed my southern gentleman,
and I was pulsating. We both blushed when it happened, and I so
wanted him to do it again.
Singing with him just felt completely natural, so right... and his
it just made my whole body quiver. There were too many
perfect moments for the two of us to kiss, but I was just far too shy
take advantage of them. Apparently, he was as well, for each
moment never happened.
When the Rouge ended, Kanawha
and Kal were still not back, so we
decided to watch a movie
movie. Mic chose Dying Young,
and I was elated. It is such
a wonderful, romantic movie. I told her so, and Hela seemed
surprised I found it to be romantic. So, I explained why.
In the middle of my explanation, Shaft just up and grabbed me into the
most breathtaking kiss anyone could ever imagine. "M-m-m. Not that I'm complaining,
cause I have been just dying for you to do that all evening, but what
was that for?" I said. He had tears running down his
and wiped them with my fingertip.
"Let's just say you inspired me to
live for the moment." Shaft answered softly, and then he kissed
again with even more passion! "We'll
talk about it
later. Right now, lets just cuddle up and watch your favorite
movie." He then led me by the hand to one of
the loungers, where I lay wrapped tightly in his arms. He smelled
so good, and I was lost in total bliss.
During the movie, I realized that we were continuing to inspire one
another, because I was completely boned up as he held me. I could
also feel his appendage poking me in the small of my back. 'At least we have a blanked over us.'
I mused. It just felt really kinky having a room full of people
around us and we were snuggled up in our current state. 'The hell with them.' I thought, as
I pressed back into him slightly. His hand, began ever-so gently
stroking my chest, and my nipples became so hard they almost
hurt. He began tracing my left nipple with his right index
finger, which just made me tingle all the more. He leaned his
head to my ear, and gently whispered, "Are
you..." To answer the question he was asking, I pulled his
other hand with my own and brought it to my not-so-little soldier.
The sensations of his whispering in my ear and his touching my most
made my whole body shudder. He continued, never missing a beat, "...enjoying this movie? I know I
sure am." Then, he gently nibbled my ear.
"Oh, yea!" I enthused
quietly. "It's my
favorite. And right now, I think we are at my favorite part."
I said, as he rubbed my throbbing erection, causing me to lean further
back into him.
"It's quickly becoming my favorite,
too." he again whispered, continuing to nibble on my
ear. "But I am afraid we might
reach the ending a little to quickly. It's been years since I
sat through it."
"Really?" I inquired, a little heart-broken with this
admittance. "How long has it
been since you have seen it?"
"A little over 26 years." he giggled.
I sighed with relief as I thought 'You
little shit!' "Well, I
have only watched it alone in the privacy of my own room, if that
counts." I snickered. I was really having a southern heatwave,
so I admitted, "But I agree with you,
the ending is going to happen way too soon."
We both eased off and returned to snuggling, as he once again
whispered into my sensitive ear, "I
just wish we had bought tickets for a private screening."
"Or picked a night when the theater was a lot less crowded." I
He snickered. "Yea, and I think
we have a few previews we need to watch first, before we get into the
I was so pumped up on hormones, but I agreed. "Yea, but I feel sure this is one movie I
am going to want to watch with you over and over again."
He just laughed softly and whispered yet again, totally shuttering my
body. "I sure hope so. I sure
With that, we settled back into the movie.
As the credits began, and everyone had their tissues, Shaft asked if I
wanted to step outside on the balcony. Seeing that our conditions
had subsided, I agreed. As we walked through the room towards the
balcony, Jena, who was snuggled up next to Jew, winked at me, showing
her approval and her wishes for everything to work out. I gave
her a smile back to show my appreciation for her gesture and my
approval of Jew, as well as conveying my good wishes for her. Most of the time, Jena and I really
don't need words. I guess being soul mates, we just know.
The cool night air felt so inviting as we stepped out on the
balcony. Shaft rested against the railing, and I stood in front
of him, gazing into the black pools of his soul, gently wrapping my
arms around his waist. He stroked his hands up and down my
back as he returned my gaze. After what seemed like an eternity,
he broke the silence.
"Ethan, I have something I need to
tell you before this goes any further. And I will totally
understand if you want to just walk away and never look back, but
promise to just be up front with me, OK?" he said nervously, as
his lip twitched slightly.
"I promise." I replied,
thinking 'OK, here it goes.
The big bomb to ruin your life, Ethan.'
"Ethan, I believe I really love you,
and that just makes this so much harder." he said, as tears
filled his soulful eyes. "I
know when someone begins a relationship, they promise to be together
forever, and that is the way it should be, I guess. But, Ethan, I
just can't do that. I cannot promise you forever. I can't even
promise you tomorrow." Tears trailed down his moonlit face
as he continued. "I have a really bad
heart. I was born with it. There were so many defects to
correct, they did not think I would live to make it out of the
hospital. I have had so many surgeries through the years, and I
have almost died a few times in the process." He looked
away. "My last surgery was a
year and a half ago, but I know it will not be my last. I have
always felt it was unfair to ask this of anyone, but tonight, you gave
me hope in finding someone to love... something I had given up on years
ago." He looked at me again. "What I am asking is, can you find
it in yourself to love me anyway, with no promise of tomorrow?
Can you love me for the person that I am and not out of guilt or a
sense of obligation? Can you just love me for being me?"
he asked, and I joined him in his tears.
I just could not think. I admit, it was not something I really
wanted to hear. But, it had already been said, and the reality of
struck home with a vengeance. There were no words to offer him as
to what I felt in that moment. I so completely understood him and
all the pain he must have been through. But, I pushed that aside
and went with how I truly felt. I just slowly pulled him into me
and kissed him with all the passion I have longed to give to someone
for my entire lifetime. I loved him! As crazy as it might
seem, I was completely head over heels for him. As the tears
continued to run down my
face, I looked into the depths of his deep, dark eyes and finally
replied, "You know, I cannot promise
you tomorrow, either. No one can. But, I can promise you
this moment, and I will gladly give you all that I am, for as long as l
draw breath. Can you accept my love? Can you accept me as your lover and not see me as a man
saddened by his lover's tragic heart condition? Can you just
accept me as the man who loves you?"
He then kissed me passionately and said, "Till my dying breath, Ethan. Till
my dying breath."
I smiled at him, "For what more
could I ask?" And kissed him once again. "Um, we can still, you know, watch the movie. Yes? Oh, God! Please say yes!" I
whispered in his ear. He just giggled and kissed me yet again,
each time, I noticed, they just kept getting better.
Then, we heard them, the sniffles of our nosy friends standing at the
balcony doors, eavesdropping on our conversation. I turned and we
both looked at them all. Then, Cole ran to us both. "Oh, Thank you God! I have prayed for
this for so, so long!" she wept. Jena quickly followed,
and we were soon surrounded in a huge hugfest of well-wishers.
going to say that Kal was adorable, and I think he and Stormy make a
fine couple. The others were nice, and I was happy to see Kanawha
handling the crowd of people so well. But, I want to focus upon
something much more interesting. Jason Edward Wilson. Jew
was so fine!
He stood at six foot one, with a nicely toned and developed body.
He wasn't hulkish like Kanawha, but I liked it. Lord, did I like
it! His skin was a warm golden-brown, and his almond shaped eyes
gave him an exotic look. His poker straight hair was very dark,
but still what I would call brown. It was layered and fell to his
shoulders. His dress just spoke comfort, well worn jeans and a
black A-frame shirt. He seemed ether really shy or nervous,
probably both. But the way he looked down at the ground and scoot
his foot back and forth reminded me of a young child, and I found that
to be so attractive. He just had this child-like quality about
him. He nervously chewed his lower lip as he looked up at me
through his thick, long lashes. Damn. Why is it that only men
get a great set of lashes?
His honey-brown eyes met mine for only a second, but in that instant, I
was completely infatuated with Jew. But, he just kept moving
further and further away from me. I did notice, thought, that he
seemed content to watch me from a distance. It seemed romantic to
me, for whatever reason, and I found myself looking back at him
After Kal and Stormy left, Hela asked Ethan and I if we wanted to stay
and see how the date went. Ethan and I agreed quickly. I
have to say I liked Hela almost instantly. I think we are kindred
spirits or something. Anyway, Roe suggested we watch a
we were divided up into groups. Hela, Mic, Ethan, and I were to
make snacks. I so noticed that for the most part, the women were
stuck in the kitchen, but did not comment. While preparing
munchies, I found out that Jew was the straight boy of the group, and I
was so glad to hear that. Guys that look like him are often
too good to be true and usually end up being gay. Hey, I live with two of them, OK.
His shyness led me to believe that he was sensitive. Do you know
how hard it is for a woman to find a handsome, sensitive, single,
man? Next to impossible, I'm here to tell you. So, yea, I
was thrilled. I
outed my attraction to him, and then outed Ethan's attraction for
Shaft. Like I even had to. 'Payback is a Jena!' I mused
myself as he looked so shocked about it. Anyway, Hela let him in
on the fact that it was mutual. Are all men so blind to what is
going on in the romance department, or what?
Hela had some plan in mind as to how to get Jew to quit turning tail
every time I was nearby, so we went up to the movie room. On the
way up, Hela turned to me and said, "Now,
when the moment presents
itself, just be direct with him. Let him know you are
interested. Then, he might just calm down enough that we can
cage his spastic ass." Mic laughed and agreed with Hela's
As soon as I walked in, Jew tensed up and started breathing heavily,
trying to calm himself. Mic and Hela had his numbers down right
for sure! And, as much as I hate to admit it, my heart just
melted seeing him there like that. He was just so damned adorable.
Hela announced that we were going to watch Grease, which I really like.
Roe agreed so long as he was Rizzo, and at that point I thought 'What
the hell is that supposed to mean?' Ethan must have had the same
look as I, because Roe explained they act out the movie and do the
musical numbers while they watch. He said he and Riz were both a
'trashy ho' bitch' and I had to laugh. Ethan admitted that he
really did not know Grease,
and Roe went kind of ballistic on Ethan. Then Ethan
confirmed his sexuality for Shaft to hear. Damn, they were the most sneaking,
conniving people I had ever met. I felt so at home here!
Ethan brought up his love for the Rouge,
which was promised to be next, except Ethan had to be Satine. The
mental images of him in a Satine costume or even just a tiara for the
ending just had me tickled. Ethan is not exactly macho, but he is
definitely not a flamer.
Anyway, we were in the Grease
movie, at the slumber party just before Hopelessly Devoted To You, and I
down next to Jew. He started to scoot over, but I turned to
him and laughed, "I am a bitch, but I
don't bite." then he got even more nervous and began
fidgeting and bouncing his leg up and down really fast. I just
laughed again. "You are just
damned cute. You know that?" He just blushed and
smiled, taking side-ways glances at me through those eyelashes of
his. This was the opportunity Hela mentioned. "I really mean that, you know. I think
you are completely adorable, and I would really like to get to know
you. You don't have to be so nervous, OK?"
He just exhaled this huge breath, and I giggled. Another
side-ways glance, and a smile was my reward. He formed his words
several times, but said nothing. Then, he finally spoke, "Thanks." Though be it quickly
spoken, he did finally speak.
"See, now that wasn't so bad, now was
it?" I smiled, and he blushed even more.
Another silence fell, then he spoke again. "I, um, you know, get nervous, and mmm I
guess stutter s-sometimes." he said, looking towards the
ground. Silence again. "S-so,
um, I guess, you um, aren't um, you know, interested." his shaky
voice sadly stated.
I just giggled, 'cause it was just so cute. And I told him so, "I swear, you just get harder and harder
for me to resist, you know that?" He looked up at me like
I were crazy, so I explained. "I said
I was a bitch, but I did not say I was stupid. Or shallow for
that matter. Here you are, a great looking, single, sensitive
guy... who is not gay, mind you. What do you think I would say?"
His face lit up with hope, then, he blushed again and looked
down. "So, you get a little
nervous and stutter. Big deal. I used to piss my
pants. Now, that is a hard one to live down, let me tell you."
"Really?" he questioned somberly.
"Yes. Really. So, I can
relate to what you must go through. But, you don't have to worry
about that with me. I like you, and I would like to see what
happens from here if you want. And personally, I think you have a
lovely voice." I smiled, as I leaned in and kissed his
cheek. His face just glowed.
Then, I realized it was time for the big number... My favorite
in the whole movie. "Hold that
blush. I'm up."
Then, I did my part and sang my song. The whole time, Jew
and I never broke eye contact. No matter where I walked in that
room, his eyes were locked to mine. And I realized, as I sang
that song, that I actually was feeling completely devoted to Jason
Edward Wilson. After the number, he looked up at me through those
lashes again and then... slowly... hesitantly... he took my hand.
God! I so loved acting and singing out movies then!
Our last big number, Your the One
That I Want, was amazing. When
I grabbed his hands to put them on my hips and sang 'feel your way', I
took a quick peek in the pantry. It looked like a loaf of French
bread to me! And... HE WAS STRAIGHT!!! I was ecstatic.
The Rouge went well, with
Ethan as Christian and Shaft as Satine (They switched parts, but it
really fit better that way). They were fabulous together.
Ethan even got felt up, though I don't believe he minded a bit.
The best number, though, was Roe and Hela's Like a Virgin. Lord,
was that comical! And Hela could seriously sing. Roe REALLY sucked, though.
Jew was getting quite comfortable with me too, and started
talking to me more and more. There were fewer and fewer
hesitations and stutters as the night went on. He was just beyond
anything I had ever hoped to find. I was falling for him, hard
After the Rouge, Kal and
Stormy had still not made it back, so we decided to watch an actual
movie. Ethan was thrilled when Mic suggested Dying Young. It is his
favorite of all movie. Hela inquired about this, and I just
cried as he explained his reasonings. Everyone else seemed to be
touched by his explanation as well. Then, in the middle of it,
Shaft rose up and quickly grabbed Ethan into a big passionate
kiss. I leaned to Jew and whispered, "Good. He shut him up. He was
totally ruining my makeup." and he snickered.
They were so adorable together. They just looked like two teenage
boys. And as Shaft lead Ethan to a lounger by the hand, well
let's just say that Tammy Fae had nothing on me. They just
snuggled up together like two little love birds, but they were
more like two horny pigeons. Hey, I know my brother.
Jew and I snuggled up on one of the sofas as well. I felt so at
peace in his arms. We watched and cried through Ethan's
favorite. How little did I know the significants of this movie
and the part it would play in my little knight's life.
As everyone was using their tissues when the movie finished, Ethan and
Shaft went out on the balcony. Everyone was crying, and I just
found it too odd. Cole came over and embraced me. She then
told me about her brother's heart condition, and I just wailed.
'Poor guys!' I
thought. But I knew what the ending would
be, because, like I said, I knew my brother. We all slowly walked
to the balcony door to, well, watch. Now, it sounds so intrusive,
but you just had to have been in the moment to understand.
I honestly think it was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever
witnessed. It was the most bitter-sweet, for sure. As we
eavesdropped and Shaft explained himself, I was so impressed by his
sense of honor and resolve, being so straightforward about it
all. But you could tell it was breaking his fragile little heart
at the same time. I know it was breaking mine. When he
asked Ethan if he could love him anyway, with no promise of tomorrow,
there was nothing but a fine powder left to my heart it had broken so
much. The kiss was very moving. Ethan said that he could
only promise this moment and would gladly give Shaft everything that he
was for as long as he drew breath, asking him if he could accept him as
the man who loved him. When Shaft replied with my dying breath,
both Cole and I totally lost it. I guess that is how they caught
us eavesdropping, but we all rushed out to give them our love and
My little knight, my hero, my soul mate, my little brother... he was in
love. And I truly knew Shaft was the luckiest man on this earth,
because they came no better than my Ethan. It was at that very
instant when I realized just how amazing the grand design is. How
could I have ever doubted or forsaken it? I have no doubt that
Kal was created solely for Stormy, just as Ethan had been created for
Shaft. Both Stormy and Shaft suffered from a broken heart, one
emotionally, one physically. As Kal had made such a difference in
Kanawha, I just prayed that Ethan could do the same for Shaft.
Perhaps it was the moment, perhaps it was one of our moments, but I
grabbed Jew into a passionate kiss, all the while praying that we could
somehow make each other complete as well. To think, this morning,
we started out as three lonely friends. 'The Lord truly moves in mysterious ways,'
I thought, 'and when he moves, he
were ridin' back to 'the house' as Killian called it. I was so
excited. So much had happened to me in the last couple
hours. I had a job, which I never thought I'd ever
have. I had a home, which was a dream come true for me. But
the best part was I had two dads! I had a family, and I was
I just couldn't believe my good fortune. I was richer'n any boy
could be right then. I had two guys who wanted me. They
even said it. "WE WANT
YOU." I never thought I'd ever hear someone say somethin'
like that to me, but it was the one thing I have wanted someone to say
to me and mean it since as far back as I can remember. I
ain't nothin' special. I know that. Just some homeless kid
with no family or nothin' at all to his name. Everyone around has
never let me forget it either. But, for some reason, these
two, my dads, well they thought different. They even said there
was somethin' special about me and that they knew they'd never be able
to live their lives without me as part of it.
They were the one's who's special, 'cause they loved me. A little
piece of trash from the alley, and they loved me. I might have
been young'n all, but I knew how special that was.
Most people'd just look at me like I's low-life scum. I was
dirty 'cause I had no place to take a bath or nothin'. I'd wash
up in the bathrooms sometimes, but a lot of places wouldn't even let me
in. They'd just threaten to call the police if I didn't
leave. All I wanted was to wash my face off a bit, but I wasn't
even good enough to do that in their place. So, most the time,
I's dirty. It wasn't like I wanted to be a dirty kid, just how it
worked out I guess. People just don't know how lucky they are to
be able to have a place to sleep, or take a bath any time they want to,
or even have a toilet to use.
But I guess I can't complain really. I didn't get to eat every
time I's hungry, but I did get to eat. I'd find food in the café trash cans out back.
That was some good eatin', too. Usually, there'd be a bag of
somethin' boxed up that didn't even look touched. I guess a lot
of people changed their minds and didn't want it after they ordered or
somethin' like that, but I took it as a blessin'. Most the
time, it was warm, sometimes even hot, which was nice durin' the colder
days in the winter.
It was there I first saw Kanawha, 'course, I didn't know his name or
nothin' back then. I don't know what it was, but I just wanted
real bad for him to like me for some reason. I even daydreamed
'bout him bein' my dad. But, he just looked at me like
everyone else, like I was nothin'. Can't really blame him, I guess.
But that day out in front of that college, I was real mad when I seen
him huggin' up on Killian. I knew some people'd look down on that
kinda thing, so I yelled really bad things at 'em. Called 'em faggots, which I ain't
proud of, but it's the truth. That's what I called 'em.
Then, Kanawha ignored me. He just turned his back on me, like he
always did. But this time, I got real ticked and tried to hit
him. It just hurt to be
so worthless is all. I didn't care that he liked Killian.
Kanawha just jerked me up with one hand, and it really scared me.
He was gonna hit me, sayin' he'd kick my ass, but Killian wouldn't let
him. He let me go, and I ran as fast as I could, crying I's so
scared. He's a big guy and could'a hurt me but good.
So, I run a while, then rested. I tried to get some food money,
'cause I had to have 50 bucks to give them gang boys or they would hurt
me. Nobody would give me nothin' though, and I didn't know what I
was gonna do. I's gettin' kinda hungry, so I was lookin in some
dumpsters in the alley behind some stores when I found it. A
gun. Then I got the idea it was a blessin', 'cause I'd be
able to get someone to give me 50 bucks with it. I wasn't gonna
hurt nobody. I just needed 50 bucks to keep from bein' hurt
So, I waited till dark and went lookin' for someone to get the money
from. I waited in the dark in the alley beside the parkin'
garage. After a while, two rich lookin' guys came by, an I put my
mask on (I'd got it out of the dumpsters one day after the winter,
thinkin' I might need it this comin' winter). I got up my
nerve when I heard Killian shout that I had a gun. So, I tried to
be like the gang guys and played all tough. When I recognized
Kanawha, I got real pissed again. Oops! Don't tell 'em I said that, K?
I liked Killian 'cause he seemed
like a nice guy an' he ain't never did nothin' to me. But I was
mad at that Kanawha. I said some mean stuff again to 'em both,
but Kanawha kept ignorin' me, makin' me madder by the minute. I
ran at him and put the gun to his head. Then he smacked it away
and grabbed me yellin' "How do I
feel? How do I feel?" I
just knew for sure I's dead right then, but he just hugged me.
Then he said, "Sorry. I am so,
so very sorry." I don't
really know what happened, but I just felt all the pain and loneliness
just up and leave me. We fell down to the ground and he just held
me, saying he was sorry for hurtin' me today, and to let it out as I
cried, 'cause I was safe now.
Somehow, he knew who I was. He took my mask off and told
Killian. Killian hugged me for a minute, then pulled me to
my feet and said we needed to talk. I's glad we did, 'cause we
all got it off our chests and they forgave me. Then, they asked
me to come with 'em to eat and to live if I wanted to.
Then, they kept kissin' and just about humpin' each other right there
in the parking garage. I was hungry, so I asked if we could go
eat (Kanawha said where we were gonna go eat, they wouldn't mind me
bein all dirty, so I's ready to go eat). We talked about our
birthdays and I showed them a picture of my mom. They lost their
parents on their birthdays, and they was even born on the same
day. I told 'em I's awful sorry 'bout that. That's when I
told 'em 'bout mom and showed them the picture I have of her.
They said she was real pretty and I looked like her.
They's tellin' me about their work, when Killian called a social
worker. I was scared, but he told me he had to, so's I could live
with 'em. We talked 'bout that for a while. Then, I wasn't
so scared no more.
Wouldn't ya just know we ended up goin' to the café
to eat. I mentioned how good the food was, and then Kanawha
realized where he'd seen me before. He just fell to his knees
huggin' me and cryin'. I just pat him and all as he told me he
was sorry. But I forgave him, and we were all fine.
We went in to eat, and the table was already set for all three of
us. I liked Valerie and Ed, especially Ed, 'cause he gave me a
job. Then, before you knew it, I had 'em agreein' to eat with
us. Ed let me help him cook the food, and I gotta cook the steaks.
I's nervous 'bout eatin' with everybody, but Kanawha made me feel
better 'bout it. Then, Killian called me son and said in their
hearts I was their son. So, now I had two dads, and I's
Everybody told me the steaks were good. They were too, though that was
the first time I'd ever eat steak. Lots of the stuff was good,
'specially the broccoli. It didn't look none too good, but it
sure was. Then we had pie and coffee. After that, we was
heading to "the house."
I was wonderin' if I could take a bath, so I asked. "Hey,
guys. You think I could take a bath when we get there? I
mean I could wash off and all, but takin' a real bath would be great."
Killian laughed and said, "Son, I was
not sure how to approach that
subject with you, but I think a real bath is a fine idea."
smiled cause we was thinkin' the same thing.
Then, Kanawha said, "Shit!"
and stopped the car. Killian hit em
on the arm tellin' him to watch his language. That's why I asked ya' not to tell
'em I said piss. Man, I said it again! Well, don't tell 'em
"OK. OK. I will."
he said. Then he looked at me and
then back to Killian. "I think
we need to make a quick stop at a
store somewhere to get him something to wear, at least for tonight and
tomorrow. Then, we can take him out shopping for clothes and
other things tomorrow."
am so glad you thought of that. Well, there is only one place
open at this hour. " Killian said. Then, he rubbed
about earlier. I just think we should watch what we say. We
don't need to add any more negative words to Chance's vocabulary."
"Well, we'll have to clue Ethan and
Jena in on that one too." Kanawha
"Oh, dear God! What are we going
to do about Hela and Roe?
Especially Roe." Killian said, like he's in a panic.
Kanawha just rolled laughing then. He smiled and said, "Love, he
is a young man, not a china doll. I'm sure he has heard worse
Killian jumped in. "But you
don't know Roe. He was tame
tonight. Sometimes, he can be a bit extreme."
I didn't know who they's talkin' 'bout, and I got bored. Next
thing I know, We's in someplace I ain't never been before. "Guys? Where we at anyway?"
"We're just about at the loop.
>From there, it is just a few minutes to get to Wally World."
"I don't reckon I ever been around
here before. Just wonderin. Hey, you guys think they will
even let me in the store'n all?" I asked.
"Chance, son, everything will be
fine. Just relax. We will go in and get what we need
for tonight and tomorrow. Then, we will go home and you can meet
all of our friends. I just know they will love you, so you don't
have to worry about them, either. OK, son?" Killian asked
I shook my head, "OK, Dad. But
I just wish I could take a bath n' be clean before I meet 'em."
Killian started cryin', and I was thinkin 'OK, Chance, now what have you done wrong?'.
"I'm sorry Dad! I don't have to
be clean to meet 'em. I don't even need to take no bath if you
don't want me to."
Killian just smiled at me and reached his hand back and pat me on the
leg. "No, son. That's not
it. You just called me Dad, and it made me feel good. So, I
started crying. I'm sorry if it worried you, but you just
made me happy is all. "
"Whew. I thought y'all's gonna
put me out the car or somethin'." Then, we all laughed.
We were at Wally World in no time at all. I was excited 'cause I
ain't had nothin' new in a real long time. I had one Dad on
each side of me as we went lookin' for clothes. I got some
pajama's, jeans, two shirts, and a pair of shorts.
A couple guys were followin' us around, but Kanawha just asked 'em what
their problem was. They took one look at Kanawha, and almost
messed their pants. I
don't blame 'em none neither, cause he is a BIG man. They just said
they was security, checkin' to make sure we's OK, but they was starin'
at me. Kanawha just looked at 'em a minute and said, well, more
like growled at 'em, "He has
had a rough day, and he does not need you adding to it." Then, he pulled me
in front of him and wrapped his big ol' arms round me. "This is my son, and I will do anything to
protect him from being hurt again. Do you understand what I am
saying?" Those guys didn't even answer. They just
took off fast, and we didn't see 'em no more.
We then went to get some underwear and socks. They asked me which
kind of underwear I liked. "I don't
really wear none." I said. Dad said somethin' 'bout
commando, but I didn't know what he meant. "What kind do you guys wear?"
I asked 'em. They both just got bright red and looked at each
other. I guess it must be rude or somethin' to ask someone 'bout
their underwear, but I just figured that's what we was lookin'
"Boxer-briefs." they both
answered me at the same time. Then, they just started laughin'
and lookin' at each other again. I just knew they's gonna start
humpin' in the store the way they was lookin' at each other, and I just
"I guess I'll get some of them too
then." I said. Kanawha helped me find some he
thought would fit. We got some undershirts, socks, and
shoes. Finally, we got me a toothbrush, deodorant (Dad said
he would show me how to use it later), and some other stuff I didn't
know what was for.
The lady who took the money just kept staring at me, and Kanawha
growled at her too. "Look if
there is some problem, here, then maybe you can get your manager to
come over and tell me what it is." Her eyes just got all
big, but she said there wasn't no problems. Then Kanawha said, "Well, good. Then maybe you can
quit fucking staring at my son." 'Course Dad smacked
him on the arm again. Kanawha just looked like his feelings were
hurt, sayin',"Sorry, Love. But
she has no right to just sit in judgment over him. And, yes, she
was, because I felt it." Then, he ran his hand through
Dad's hair and rested it on his neck. "Can
you forgive me?" he asked, kinda quiet like.
Dad smiled at him. "Of course,
Love. But there are other ways of handling people like... Betty
here." he said as he read her name tag. "The way I plan to handle it is to speak
with Jack. He is the district manager and donates a whole lot of
merchandise and time at the mission. I am sure he will make sure
it NEVER happens again." It was funny, 'cause even though
Dad was smilin', that Betty could tell he was pis... I mean
mad. Betty didn't stare none at me after that, and we just
got the stuff 'n left. Soon, we were at Kanawha's house. He
said I could use his bathtub. Then, he said we'd go meet
That bath sure felt good, and Kanawha fixed it so's I had bubbles in
it. Dad checked on me a couple times at the door to make sure I
didn't need nothin'. He told me to be sure 'n wash my neck and
ears good. I asked him if he would wash my back for me 'cause I
couldn't reach it good, and he did. He asked me about some of the
bruises 'n stuff I had, and I told him about those boys threatenin' me,
tellin' me I best have that 50 bucks to 'em or else. Kanawha was
standin' at the door when we was talkin and said he would just have to
see about them boys. Dad told him, "You will do no such thing, so don't even
think about it again. Just calm down, love. He's safe
now. That is all that matters."
"Well, we can't just let them get away
with hurting people like this. We have to do something."
he told dad.
"And, love, we will. Just trust
me. We can do this without anyone getting hurt. Just have a
little faith." Dad said back to him.
"Alright, I concede. "
Kanawha just stood there a minute. "Well, if you need me, then I guess I'll be
out here." he said as he turned around.
"I can use some help washin' my hair
if you want to, Daddy." I said to him.
He ran back in there and Knelt down by the tub. "What did you say?"
He was smilin' at me, and I giggled. "I
said you can help me wash my hair if you want to, Daddy."
He kissed me on the forehead and said, "That's
what I thought you said." He got all teary eyed. "I never thought I would ever hear someone
say that to me."
I got teary too for some reason and told him the truth. "I wanted to call ya that since when I
first seen ya runnin' by me in the alley. I just wanted you
to be my Daddy and take me to live with you."
We all cried a while, then Daddy washed my hair for me a few
times. Dad got my clothes ready and laid 'em out by the
sink. Then, they said they would leave me to get dressed.
Dad told me to wait before I put my shirt on, cause he wanted me to
brush my teeth and learn how to use deodorant. They went out and
shut the door.
When I was done, I opened the door and they was snuggling on Daddy's
bed. I ran and jumped right on both of them, but it turned into a
tickle fight. After a few minutes, Dad showed me how to use
deodorant, and Daddy showed me how I should brush my teeth. They
both told me I's handsome, but I needed to get a haircut. I
wasn't none to thrilled 'bout that, but figured I'd just do it.
After that, Daddy put some clothes in a bag and we left to go to
Dad's house. On the way, I told 'em, "I guess I'm pretty lucky. This
mornin' I was homeless, but now I got two places to live at."
They both laughed. Then Daddy looked at me and Dad and said, "Well, I guess so, for now. But
soon, I hope we are all under one roof."
"We'll have to talk about this later
and make some plans. There are a few things I will need to
explain to you, then we can decide what the three of us are going to
do." Dad said.
Soon, we were pulling up to this really huge house. I was real
excited to think I was gonna live here, even for a little bit till we
found somewheres else.
As Kanawha explained the significants of 'Chances Given', I was
compelled to contemplate the grand scheme of things. Chance was a
delightful young man, and I had been blessed five times on this
day. I had met the love of my life, made three new friends, and
now, my love and I had a son. Things were going great, but they
It was so far beyond chance that both Kanawha and I had lived such
parallel lives, right down to being born on the same day. This
meant that we also lost our parents on exactly the same day, too.
It was just overwhelming to think that so many different elements were
in play, all bringing the two of us to this point. Chance was
such a darling young man, and I fell in love with him almost
immediately. I could tell he and Kanawha had a special bond, as
if they held a missing part of each other. But then again, these
same elements were pulling him towards us and us towards him. It
was all destined, that was certain.
I was so touched that Kanawha had made special arrangements with
Valerie for a romantic dinner for us. Seeing the table set for
three was somehow not a surprise at all. Valerie was just so
wonderful, and her Ed was such a great guy. He made Chance feel
special, and I thanked God that the two of them would also be a part of
his life. Ed promised Chance a job, and he was illuminated with
joy. Ed even let Chance help make dinner for us all, leaving
Valerie, Kanawha, and I and opportunity to talk.
As we discussed all the events that had transpired, more and more fell
into place for us. Kanawha and I had been sharing a dream, no
doubt the same dream, since as far back as either of us could
remember. The only difference was in how we each depicted Chance
in the dream. Valerie said she could not answer that, but that it
could be the way we each saw the world around us. She said she
wanted to get together with me to see if she could help me understand
my gift more fully.
I was truly fascinated by the gifts Kanawha possessed. It made me
realize just how perceptive and insightful he truly is, which just made
me smile all the more. 'God, I love that man!' I affirmed to
myself as he spoke. As he admitted that he was not quite ready to
be so open, I just felt kinda sad. 'He has been alone for so long, really,
and is not used to dealing with everyone. I could tell that
despite his friendships with Jena and Ethan, he was still very much a
loner.' I speculated. But, I also thought that he somehow
sees himself as being less of a man by sharing his emotions with
others. I was a little worried how this would affect our
relationship and the relationship he was forming with Chance, when he
answered my question.
"But, I LOVE
and Chance so much, and I
don't want this love I feel for them to ever go away. I need this
love to be real." As tears filled his eyes and he looked at me,
I was certain this openness he expressed towards Chance and myself
would never change. "I was so
alone before I met you. I don't want to go back to
being that empty shell of a man again. I just hope you still love
me when I am me once more." Valerie told him
then that he had partially healed Chance's torn soul, but for his full
recovery, he would need Kanawha's love and support. She said this
would require that Kanawha be squishy
sometimes with Chance. 'All
part of parenting,' I mused, 'and
my love is going to be a fantastic one.'
Dinner went great. OK, so Chance had a few bad manners,
but he quickly picked up on our good table manners and immolated
them. I was elated at how happy he was by my calling him
son. You would have thought I had given him the world, but in
reality, he and Kanawha had given me that... a world filled with hope
Valerie gave us her sagely advice for our lives, and we soon left to
head home. Chance asked about taking a bath during the ride, and
I was relieved that the subject had been presented. Kanawha
pointed out that we needed to get Chance some clothes for tonight and
tomorrow at least, so we headed to Wally World. As shocking as this may seem, I
really do not like shopping there. It is never a good experience,
even for me, and I am rather optimistic. In fact, we commonly
refer to it as the
worst place on earth. I reassured Chance that
everything was going to be fine, and he called me Dad! I was so
overjoyed when he said it, I cried. He was worried about saying
something wrong, but I explained that he had just made me very
happy. He seemed to accept this, and all was well in the world
Shopping was indeed not a pleasurable experience, as usual, and I
realized that Kanawha was quickly finding his balance again. Two
security men were following us, thinking that Chance was only there to
steal something. Kanawha set them straight rather quickly, and
they soon departed our company. Hehehe! I would not want to
tangle with him while he is in protective mode either.
We retrieved everything we could think of for Chance, and headed to the
only one of the sixty check out lanes opened. OK, now it was rude
for that Betty to stare at Chance, but I was flabbergasted when Kanawha
started in on her. "Look if there is some problem, here, then
maybe you can get your manager to come over and tell me what it is."
She was equally shocked by his directness, and muttered that there was
no problem. Kanawha then shot, "Well,
good. Then maybe you can quit fucking staring at my son."
I whacked him in the arm for his language, but not for his defending
our son. "Sorry, Love. But she
has no right to just sit in judgment over him. And, yes, she was,
because I felt it." Of course, I knew she was as well, but
he then tried to smooth things over with me. "Can you forgive me?" he asked, in
this innocent child-like voice.
I just smirked inside over this. "Of course,
Love. But there are other ways of handling people like... Betty
here." I said loud enough
for her to hear, as I overemphasized reading her name tag. "The
way I plan to handle it is to speak with Jack. He is the district
manager and donates a whole lot of merchandise and time at the
mission. I am sure he will make sure it NEVER happens again." She was a bit shaken up, but for
once, I did not care. She deserved so much more than the firing I
knew Jack would see happened. The gall of her to do that just
infuriated me, but I smiled... one of the iciest smiles I have ever
smiled before. I guess I had a bit of a protective mode as
Kanawha just snickered and rubbed my back, whispering, "I guess foxes can be just as vicious and
deadly as grizzly bears."
I fought the urge to laugh and continued my icy smile until we left
that God-forsaken store. As we left, Kanawha said we would go to
his place for Chance to bathe, then head to the house. Chance
seemed to like this idea, seeing as he really wanted to be clean before
he met anyone.
Bath time was an enjoyable experience. Chance was so excited,
especially when Kanawha made him a bubble bath. We gave him his
privacy, but I wanted to be sure he cleaned everything, so I reminded
him of a few things to wash at the door. He asked me to wash his
back for him, so I did. I noticed all the bruises he had and
asked him about them. Seems that gang had a hand in it, and I
really was getting protective again.
So was Kanawha. "Well, I will
have to just see about those guys, then." He growled.
will do no such thing, so don't even think about it again." I
said, in a cross me and see what I
will do to your ass voice. I guess I was developing rather
good parenting skills, having developed that voice so soon.
down, love. He's safe now. That is all that matters."
"Well, we can't just let them get away
with hurting people like this. We have to do something."
"And, love, we will. Just trust
me. We can do this without anyone
getting hurt. Just have a little faith." I replied
"Alright, I concede." He
said in a not-so-convincing manner. Then, he watched me wash our
son's back a moment. "Well, if
you need me, then I guess I'll be out here." Kanawha said, as he
turned to leave.
Chance quickly replied, "I can use
some help washin' my hair if you want to, Daddy."
I have never seen someone move so quickly. He raced into the
bathroom and knelt beside the tub excitedly. "What did you say?" he enthralled.
Chance just giggled. "I said you can
help me wash my hair if you want to, Daddy."
My love kissed our son's forehead. "That's what I thought you
said." Tears formed as he relayed to the two of us, "I never thought I would ever hear
someone say that to me."
Chance teared up as well. "I
call ya that since when I first seen ya runnin' by me in the
just wanted you to be my Daddy and take me to live with you." I
knew for sure that they had a very special bond then.
We all shared in the waterworks for a few minutes. Then, Daddy washed his son's hair, quite
a few times in fact. It
honestly needed it.
While Kanawha scrubbed away, put out Chance's clothes on the
counter. I told him we would give him privacy to get dressed, but
not to put his shirt on until he brushed his teeth and I showed him how
to apply his deodorant. We then went back into Kanawha's bedroom
and shut the door.
We sat on Kanawha's bed, but ended up snuggling up as we waited for
Chance to finish. A few minutes later, a shining angel appeared
in the bathroom door. He was such a handsome little man.
His hair was darker than my own, but not as dark as Kanawha's He
had strong cheekbones like Kanawha, but his nose actually looked
similar to my own. He had more of a tan than I, but again, not as
dark as Kanawha. He had dimples like me, but his strong jaw was
like my love's. It hit me during my observations of him that
Chance looked like he could actually be our real son, if it were
biologically possible for us to have one. He stood around 5'8"
and was so, so skinny. 'A few
of Hela's home cooked meals would definitely help put some weight on
him.' I smiled, realizing that he would never go hungry ever
Chance pounced on us, and we retaliated by tickling him. After a
few minutes, I took him back into the bathroom and showed him how to
apply deodorant. Killian then showed him the fine arts of oral
hygiene. 'Need to remember to
make him a dentist appointment' I mentally noted. Looking
at our little guy, we both told him how
handsome he really was. Kanawha suggested a haircut, and I agreed.
I asked if Kanawha would stay the night, because it just seemed we
should spend our first night as a family. He packed some clothes
and other items, and we headed over to my house. On the way,
Chance commented, "I guess I'm pretty
lucky. This mornin' I was homeless, but now I
got two places to live at."
We laughed, but I could tell we were each relieved that the subject had
been presented. Kanawha spoke first about it, though. "Well, I
guess so, for now. But soon, I hope we are all under one roof."
"We'll have to talk about this later
and make some plans. There are a
few things I will need to explain to you, then we can decide what the
three of us are going to do." I replied. There was
just so much I needed to discuss with him before we decided where we
Chance was impressed with the house as soon as he saw it from the
drive. I was surprised that no one met us at the door, but I
could hear a commotion upstairs and assumed they were in the movie
room. I showed Chance and Kanawha around a little downstairs, and
both seemed impressed. Then our tour lead us upstairs to the
movie room. As we entered, everyone was coming in from the
balcony, looking like they had just finished a big group cry.
>From the pairings, I could tell Ethan and Shaft were a couple.
Jena and Jew seemed to be heading in that direction as well. I
smiled at them, and one look to my love showed me he had noticed also.
"Kal, Kal. Have I not taught you
any better? Here you go out with this great looking hunk, and you
let him take your V. If that were not bad enough, you get knocked
up and return to us with child." Roe laughed.
Kanawha and Chance were taken aback by this, but Hela set things
straight quickly, all be it inappropriately. "Don't pay any mind to Dildo Faggins,
here. No one else does. Now, who would you be, little guy?"
She asked, kneeling in front of Chance. His eyes lit up as he
took her in.
"Our son." Kanawha simply
"Long story we will save until the
morning. Everyone, this is Chance, our son. Chance, this is
Hela, Ethan, Shaft, Jew, Jena, Mic, Cole, and Roe." I said,
pointing out each of our friends as they replied their hello's to
"I thought she said his name was
Dildo." he replied as I introduced Roe.
"That was just a joke, Chance."
Hela replied. "I said something
I should not have said. That was not a good word to use in front
of you. Sorry, Kal." I was a bit shocked by this,
because, well you just have to know Hela.
They then began telling us about their evening, when Chance pulled at
Kanawha's arm. "Daddy, What's
I rolled my eyes as I looked at Hela for that one. Kanawha just
laughed and replied. "Well,
son, that is something you should ask your uncle Ethan, sometime when
it is just the two of you." We all laughed as Ethan looked
Chance walked up to Ethan and Shaft, looking them over closely.
He then smiled the biggest smile I have seen in some time. "Dad, you didn't tell me I 'd have kids my
age to play with! Wow, this is so cool!" I just
giggled, figuring we would cross that bridge later, but not
Everyone again started telling us about the evening. Kanawha and
Chance seemed intrigued about singing and acting out musicals. We
were both happy to hear a G-rated version of the coupling, and I was
elated for them all.
"We were talking about singing a
little. Would you guys like to join us?" Cole asked.
"That's quite alright." Kanawha
answered quickly, and Jena and Ethan burst out laughing.
"What is so funny?" I inquired.
"Stormy can't sing." Jena
"That is not true."
Kanawha stated flatly, almost like he had been insulted. "I just don't sing. I never said I
could not sing."
Chance looked up at Kanawha with his big hazel eyes and said, "Will you sing then, Daddy? Will you
sing a song for me?"
"Good luck, kid. He has never
sang in all the years we have known him." Ethan
"Well, I have never had a reason to
sing before." He said. Then he smiled at
Chance. "But I have two great
reasons to now, so yes, Chance I will sing for you. But this
song," he said, turning to me grinning, "I dedicate to you, my love."
He then gave me the best kiss we had shared so far that day.
With that, he led me to the baby grand, seating me beside him. He
played beautifully. The music was soulful, and Jena and Ethan
were so shocked. As he played the introduction, Hela enthused, "Oh, hon. I love that song."
"You know it? Good, then you can
back me up, if you will." Kanawha replied. Hela came
over and stood beside him. Then, he began singing, and he had the
most glorious voice I have ever heard. It was deep, yet smooth
and soulful. It ranged strongly from a base to a tenor through the
course of the song. He and Hela blended so well as she sang
harmony on the chorus. And the words, they were so
beautiful. But, he sang them from his heart, which was far more
special to me:
You walked in the room,
and time was
were my destiny
By the way
you made me feel.
Only you in
my life forever and a day.
everything I ever imagined
you for me.
stars need the sky,
river needs its rain,
eagle needs its wings,
and the fire
needs its flames,
like the sun
needs the day,
night needs the moon,
like the air
that I breathe,
that's how I
It's hard to
But when you
know you know
I was so
amazed by you
You had me
I need you
in my heart
mind and soul
It only took
a moment to take my breath away
stars need the sky,
river needs its rain,
eagle needs its wings,
and the fire
needs its flames,
like the sun
needs the day,
night needs the moon,
like the air
that I breathe,
that's how I
you and I,
can't be denied, no, no.
nothing I can do, nothing I can say,
That's how I
dreamed of you.
stars need (the) sky,
river needs (its) rain,
eagle needs its wings,
and the fire
needs its flames,
like the sun
needs the day,
night needs the moon,
like the air
that I breathe,
that's how I
need of you.
eagle needs it's wings,
and the fire
needs it's flames,
like the sun
it needs the day,
night needs the moon,
like the air
that I breathe,
that's how I
dreamed of you.
Like the air
that I breathe
I dreamed of
I was speechless, and completely moved to tears by this, the most
moving declaration of love I had ever witnessed before in my
life. I just kissed him, with all the passion I had ever felt
He just smiled and whispered, "I can
never truly express just how much I love you. I hope this gives
you just a small inkling of the vastness of what I feel for you.
You are my love... my life... my universe. Without you, I am
nothing." Then, he kissed me again. As we broke the
kiss and looked around the room, everyone was rather surprised. "What?" he asked.
"Wow, Stormy. You really can sing. And your voice is
just, Wow." Jena said, somewhat still in shock.
Kanawha just stood up and then helped me to my feet. Chance ran
to him, hugging him tightly. "Thanks
Daddy! You were so good!" He then scowled at Jena, and
looked back at Kanawha. "Showed
that mouthy girl a thing or two too. She won't pick on you so
quick next time I bet."
We all laughed, and with Jena neatly in her place, Kanawha said, "Well, love, Chance, I think it is time for
bed. I'm kind of tired." He stretched and yawned. I
realized just how tired I was as well. So, we made our exit and
walked down the hall to get some much needed sleep.
that it for chapter three. Thanks for reading, and please let me
know what you think. Chapter four will be coming soon.
Original musical written by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey
Screenplay written by Bronte Woodward
Produced by Robert Stigwood and Allan Carr
Pictures, 1977 All rights reserved.
Your The One That I Want and Hopelessly Devoted To You ©
1978 Stigwood Music, Inc., John Farrar Music, Inc., and
Ensign Music Corporation
Written by Baz Lurmann & Graig Pearce
Produced by Martin Brown
Twentieth Century Fox All rights reserved.
Come What May Written by
Your Song Written by Sir
Elton John and Bernie Taupin
Like A Virgin Written
by Billy Steinbero
Elephant Love Medley
All You Need Is Love
Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
I Was Made For Loving You Written
by Paul Stanley, desmond Child, and Vini Poncia
One More Night Written
by Phil Collins
Pride (In The Name Of Love) Written
by U2 with Lyrics by Bozo and The Edge
Don't Leave Me This Way Written
by Kenneth Gamble, Leon Huff, and Gary Gilbert
Silly Love Songs Written
by Paul McCartney
Up Were We Belong
Written by Jack Nitzche, Buffy Sainte-marie, and Will Jennings
Heros Written by David
I Will Always Love You Written
by Dolly Parton
Your Song Written by Sir
Elton John and Bernie Taupin
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Novel Written by Marti Leimbach
Screenplay Written by Richard Friedenberg
Century Fox All rights reserved.
I Dreamed You
written by Anastacia Newkirk - D.
Bramble - L. Robbins
album: Freak of nature