THE PHOENIX CENTER
a story series by K.L. Montgomery
© 2007 K.L. Montgomery, all rights reserved.
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“It's been awhile
since I could say that I wasn't addicted.
And it's been awhile
since I could say I love myself as well.”
The men gathered in the Group Room for the evening support group session. Jeremy and Damon sat on the sofa, while the rest either sat in love seats or desk chairs. Dr. Stockwell entered the room along with his assistant, Dr. Linda Huckabee.
“Gentlemen, we have a new patient joining us this evening. His name is Jeremy Cauldwell, and he's 19 years old.”, Dr. Stockwell said, sitting down. “Jeremy, this is one of our support groups. It's where we discuss issues and talk about why the patients came here and how they're doing. Since you're new, I'll let everyone else introduce themselves and explain to you why they're here. So, we'll start with the person next to you; his name is Damon Collins, and he's 20 years old.”
Damon stood up, cleared his throat and began to tell his story.
“My name is Damon Collins. I'm 20 years old, and attend State University. I belong to a fraternity, and I'm gay and stuck in the closet.
“I first discovered I was gay when I was 16. I had just broken up with a girl I really loved, and I was lonely and horny. I was on a chat room when I got an instant message from this 17-year-old boy. He said he had just broken up with his girlfriend, and that he lived across town.
“My parents were away on a business trip, so I invited the dude over. He brought a six-pack of beer and we started drinking and talking about our breakups. The beer made us tipsy, and all of a sudden, we were talking about sex. Then, he pulled out a girlie magazine out of his backpack and we began looking at the naked girls, and we got horny and decided to jerk off.
“So we were jerking off while looking at the magazine, when suddenly he puts his hand on my dick and begins jerking me off. The only natural thing to do was do the same to him. I found myself getting very excited touching another dude's cock, and started fantasizing about doing nasty things with it. He asked me if I wanted to suck him off, and I said yes.
“After he came, he sucked me off, and then we raided my dad's liquor cabinet and got totally wasted. I began to drink every day, and it helped me deal with the guilty feelings I had for giving another dude head.
“In college, I would go online and look for gay, bisexual or curious guys on the Internet to have fun with, and the next night I would go to a party and get really drunk, trying to rid myself of the guilt I felt for having sex with other guys. I guess you could say I was in total denial about my true sexuality, liking guys instead of girls.
“What brought me here was when I got into a fight with this asshole who called me a faggot. After I beat him up, I got so drunk that I passed out. That's when I knew I had a drinking problem, and so I decided to get help before it was too late.”
Damon sat back down, wiped some sweat from his brow, and exhaled deeply.
After the rest of the group introduced themselves to Jeremy, the group was adjourned and they all went to the cafeteria for dinner.
Damon and Jeremy loaded their plates with baked chicken and gravy and they sat down together at a table to talk.
“You know, Damon, everybody has problems coming to grips with their true sexuality. I was in denial for a long time. But being in denial and feeling guilty isn't going to make things better.”
Damon sighed and took a sip of tea. “You're right,” he said. “I can't keep loading up on booze in order to forget about my guilt. I've gotta deal with this head-on. I need to get sober, and then I need to concentrate on coming out.”
The two ate their dinner quietly for a few moments.
“I've got a confession to make.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“I think I'm attracted to you.”
Jeremy almost choked on his food when Damon said that. He quickly took a huge gulp of milk and let out an exasperated sigh.
“You're what?!”, Jeremy said sharply.
“I said I think I'm attracted to you.”
Jeremy stared deeply into Damon's green eyes and said “How attracted are you to me?”
“Don't know yet. You've only been here for less than 4 hours. I have to learn more about your personality before I can figure out how attracted I am to you.”
So for the remainder of dinner, Jeremy told Damon all about his interests. Damon and Jeremy's bond grew deeper, and the two shared plenty of things in common.
During evening free time, the two talked more about their lives and backgrounds, and when it was time for lights out, Jeremy found out he'd be sharing a room with Damon. This got Jeremy very excited.
In their room, the two sat down at the small desk placed between their beds.
“Jeremy, I enjoyed talking to you this evening. You're the most interesting guy I've ever known. Now I can tell you how attracted I am to you.”
“Well, tell me!”
Damon placed his hands around Jeremy's neck, pulled his head close, and gave Jeremy a soft kiss on the lips.
“That's how attracted I am to you”, Damon whispered softly.
“Wow,” Jeremy said in amazement.
“Well, goodnight, buddy.”
The two friends got in their beds and went to sleep.
Jeremy felt so wonderful because he was in love with Damon, and he couldn't wait to see what would happen next.
Written Thursday April 12, 2007. --KLM