Date: Mon, 2 May 2005 16:56:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mickey S <njmcmick@yahoo.com>
Subject: Second Wind, Chapter 7

If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include
sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story,
please leave. This is a love story and it will take a while to develop, so
there won't be any love scenes in the first several chapters. If you're
looking for a more sexual story, I've written a few of those. Ask me. If
you're into romance, I hope this story pleases you.

I'd like to thank my friends in the Nifty Six for their support and
encouragement, especially Tim for his advice and his editing
assistance. The author retains all rights.  No reproductions are allowed
without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at
NJMcMick@yahoo.com.

Chapter Seven

Joey

When I brought Connor down for breakfast Monday morning I hadn't even had a
chance to sit down when I heard Mom gasp.

"Your ring, Joey. What happened to your ring?"

"Relax, Mom, I didn't lose it. I just took it off."

"But why? What for?"

"Because I'm not married anymore. That's all it means, Ma. Nothing more."
She was already planning my wedding to Angie and I didn't want to give her
any more ideas, not that I could have stopped her.

I tried to distract her by talking about the nursery, about bowling, even
about Ben. I didn't usually talk too much to my parents about him. Mom and
Pop were a bit suspicious. At first they were glad I'd made a new friend
and was going out more, but then Vinnie told them that my new friend was
gay, although he used the word queer. They didn't seem to be as homophobic
as my brothers but they also questioned Ben's motives for hanging out with
me. Pop had a talk with Uncle Angelo who assured him that Ben was a nice
guy who didn't seem to have designs on me. I offered to invite Ben over for
dinner one night so they could meet him but Mom said it wasn't necessary,
that she'd take her brother's word for it that Ben was okay. They were
still concerned but they obviously didn't want to meet him.

Until that day I never realized how many people paid attention to my
hands. Three different employees at work mentioned my missing ring and even
my brothers commented on it at bowling. Of course, they had been clued in
by Mom since John had stopped by the house on the way to the lanes. Even
Ben noticed it. When we sat down in the booth at Angelo's he looked down at
my hands and raised his eyebrows but kept quiet. I think we were both still
thinking about Friday night and feeling a bit awkward. I was determined not
to talk about our kiss. I knew it had probably been on his mind as much as
it had been on mine, but I didn't want to make matters worse. We talked
about the night's bowling for a little while.

"When I was waiting for you to finish up tonight, Ben, I was looking at
your league's standings sheet. You sure do have some colorful names for
your teams. What's your team name?"

Ben blushed and looked a little embarrassed.

"Uh, we're the Gutter Sluts."

I nearly choked on my beer. I'd seen the name but assumed it was one of the
female teams.

"You make my brothers and me sound boring. We're the Paisans."

"More traditional, but I guess both names are fitting."

We were quiet for a minute. He'd given me an opening to ask about his
personal life, something I'd wanted to do, but I didn't want to appear to
be prying.

"So you guys think of yourselves as sluts? I've never heard guys called
that. Does that mean you sleep around a lot?"

"Well, I can't speak for Mike and Scott, but I've done my share of whoring
around. When I first came out in college I was like a kid in a candy
store. Any guy I wanted who wanted me I just had to have. You remember what
it was like when you first discovered sex, I'm sure."

"Uh, yeah, I suppose." I did remember how much I loved sex and wanted it
all the time once I started, but I was with Jenny then so it was always
just with her. "But love makes it even better."

"Yeah, once I met Paul I settled down and it was just him for nearly ten
years. Then after the breakup this spring I went a little crazy again. I
guess I just needed to be reassured that someone still wanted me, even if
it was just for a few minutes. It felt good, but the feeling faded really
fast and left me feeling more alone than ever. So I've slowed down again."

"Saving yourself for Mr. Right?"

"Yeah, right, Joey, like there's anything left to save. Well, maybe my
heart. It's a little bit used and battered but at least I've still got
it. But I'm getting maudlin. Enough about me. With your looks you must have
sown a few wild oats yourself."

"Sure, of course. Hey, how about another beer." I didn't want him to know
just how limited my experience once, especially now that I knew about his
past.

Ben

I felt a little bit awkward talking about my past with Joey. Mike and Scott
were bigger sluts than I'd ever been and for longer so it was fun trading
stories with them and putting each other down for our 'loose'
behavior. Maybe I was just uncomfortable talking to a straight guy about my
sex life. I wasn't ashamed of my past. I'd done what I wanted when I wanted
and it was what I needed at the time. Lots of straight guys do the same
thing, especially right after discovering sex. I knew Joey had been married
and had a kid so it wasn't like he was a virgin or anything, but I sensed
that Joey was different. Maybe it was because he looked so young and sweet
but there was more to it than that.

Now that we'd broken the ice (had we ever) by getting together on a night
other than Monday, I decided to ask Joey over to the house during the
week. I thought that might be safer than going to the club. No chance of
running into Paul, no need to put on another show. I thought I was finally
showing signs of being over Paul, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him
all the time. As before, I was concerned that Joey might read something
into it, especially after Friday night, but he seemed to be moving past
that incident. Besides, he could always just say no if he didn't want
to. Instead, he seemed thrilled by the idea.

We decided that he would come over sometime after eight on Wednesday, since
he wanted to put Connor to bed first. While I was getting the house ready,
I thought a little about what it must be like to have a kid. Not that I
knew anything about what kids were like. They were part of another universe
as far as I was concerned. But to be responsible for another human being's
life, especially one so totally dependent on you. It was all I could do to
take care of myself and Lula and aside from feeding her and opening the
door for her a dozen times a day, Lula pretty much took care of herself. I
was the high-maintenance member of the household.

One of the reasons I'd bought the house was the fireplace in the family
room but it had been summer when I'd moved in so I hadn't been able to use
it. Now that it was the end of October the weather was finally cool enough
to try it out. A little after eight I built a fire and got it started. I
lit a few candles around the room, moved the coffee table out of the way so
we could sit on the rug in front of the fire and then went into the kitchen
to heat up some cider. I'd just put cinnamon sticks in the mugs and turned
off the stove when the doorbell rang. Perfect timing.

Joey was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and loose-fitting jeans but he still
managed to look so sexy.

"Hey Ben, how's it going?" He stooped down to make a fuss over Lula and
then looked at me. "You changed your hair. It looks nice."

"Thanks. I'm way overdue for a haircut and it's getting long so I thought
I'd try something different. C'mon."

I led the way into the kitchen and poured some cider into the mugs. Joey
followed me into the family room and I sat on the floor, leaning back
against the couch. He looked around the room at the fire and the candles
and then down at me, lounging on the floor.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?" He giggled.

"Oh gawd, please don't tell me that I remind you of Anne Bancroft. That's
definitely not the look I was going for."

He laughed out loud. "No, I didn't mean that at all. It's just that I saw
The Graduate on cable recently and when I saw how romantic this whole
set-up was, the line just popped into my head."

"That's a relief. And no, I'm not trying to seduce you, Joey. I just wanted
us to be comfortable."

Joey sat a couple of feet away from me and we sipped cider and chatted
about our days at work. He seemed to be a little tense. I was wondering if
maybe I'd made a mistake having the room like this.

"Are you okay, Joey? You seem nervous. I can turn on some lights and we can
sit on the furniture if you'd rather."

"No, this is nice, actually. It's just, well, I wanted to ask you something
but I keep thinking that it's none of my business."

"We've talked about some pretty personal stuff with each other, Joe. Go
ahead and ask. If it's something I don't want to talk about, I'll tell
you."

"Okay. A few times since we met you've made the comment that I wasn't your
type. What do you mean by that? What is your type?"

"Is that all? That's not very personal. Everybody who knows me knows that
I'm basically into big guys who are older than me. Blond and a bit hairy
are both pluses, too."

"Like Paul."

"Yeah, like Paul." I turned my head away from him and stared into the fire.

"Well, I'm definitely none of those things so I can see what you meant. Is
'your type' just about looks for you?"

"That makes me sound pretty shallow, Joey. I mean, looks are important to
me, but they're not everything. Besides, nothing is written in stone. I am
a little flexible. In college the guys I went out with were my own age and
came in all shapes and sizes. I guess what it comes down to is that I'm
looking for security, someone to take care of me. Bigger guys give me that
feeling and so do older guys."

"You're looking for a sugar daddy? That doesn't sound like the Ben I know."

"No! I didn't mean that when I said I wanted to be taken care of. Sure,
Paul's a partner in his law firm and makes fantastic money, but it's not
about money with me. I do all right myself and love my job. I mean that I
need someone to make me feel that everything is all right, that it will
always be all right. Emotional security, not financial. I want someone who
will take care of me emotionally."

"I think we all want that, Ben. The best relationships are when both people
give that to each other."

"I agree, Joey, but some of us need it more than others."

Joey

I wasn't sure where I was going with this talk about Ben's type. I knew
that I had to find out more about what he was looking for before I could
make the next move but I wasn't sure I'd be able to even then.

"So it's your turn, Joey. What's your type?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Ben. I don't think I have physical
type. I'm not as visual as you are, as most people are, I suppose. It's
more emotional with me. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate physical
beauty. I've even been turned on a bit by it now and then, although not
very much and there doesn't seem to be any specific physical type that does
it."

"No particular build or coloring? You aren't a tit man or a leg man or
something like that?"

"Well, now and then a nice butt catches my eye. As far as overall physical
type though, the few that have caused a stirring for me don't seem to have
had much in common with each other."

"Wow, so what do you think about when you jerk off?"

I think I inhaled half of my cider and began choking. Ben jumped up and
slapped me on the back a couple of times. When I'd recovered he sat down
again.

"I'm really sorry, Joey. That was way too personal. It just slipped out."

"No, that's okay, Ben. It's just that nobody's ever asked me that
before. To answer your question, I really don't do that very often. I don't
have a very strong, uh, libido, is that the word? And when I do it, I guess
I just focus on how good it feels."

"Okay, lets change the subject. I've been rude and you've been kind enough
not to be offended. What do you want to talk about?"

I think I surprised both of us when I started to talk about the past
weekend. It's what I had wanted to talk about but I hadn't thought I'd have
the nerve. Ben's shocking question seemed to have opened the door for
anything. I didn't talk about Friday night and our kiss directly but
touched on it when I told Ben about Saturday with Angie. I told him what
Angie had said about friendships sometimes developing into something else,
and that it was good to not stress about it and just let things
happen. Then I told him about my decision to stop wearing my wedding
ring. He got kind of quiet.

"So, you think maybe it's time your relationship with Angie moved to the
next level, that you're ready for that?"

I was stunned and more than a little frustrated. It had been so hard for me
to bring out all of these confusing feelings and he'd missed the whole
point.

"No Ben, I know Angie was talking about my relationship with her but as
soon as she said it I realized that that was what was going on between you
and me, at least for me. What I feel for you has become a lot more than
just friendship. I don't really know what is going on inside me but I have
to find out."

Now Ben was the one who was shocked. He just looked at me shaking his head.

"But you're straight."

"I never said that. If anything I said I was asexual. Yeah, I loved Jenny
with all my heart and body but I never felt that way about any other
woman. The few others I've felt any physical attraction for were
guys. Nothing like with Jenny, but then I barely knew them and, as I said,
it's more of an emotional connection with me anyway. So, what do you
think?"

"I don't know what to think. There was no way I was expecting this."

The longer he went without saying anything the more nervous I got. His
friendship had come to mean so much to me but I just had to tell him. I
just hoped I hadn't made a mistake.

"You've got to admit that we've had a pretty special connection ever since
we met, Ben. And while I'm not your type, you'll have to admit you
responded to me physically Friday night. Do you think that maybe there's a
chance that something could develop with us?"

There was a long silence while Ben stared into the fire. He finally looked
at me and smiled.

"Yeah, Joey, I think there's a chance. I told Becky Friday before we left
for the club that I could easily fall for you if you were 'my type'. I
think I was building that up in my mind to prevent me from getting in too
deep with you. I didn't think you were available, that you were a
possibility for me. I'm still not sure I'm ready for this, though, or that
you are for that matter. That's the only stumbling block that I can see
because both emotionally and physically you push all the right buttons with
me."

I let out a sigh so loud that Lula lifted her head and looked at me.

"You're right that we may not be ready for this. You're going to have to be
patient with me, Ben. I think the thing to do is go slow and do what Angie
said-not stress and just let it happen. Now that we both know that we want
it, there's no rush, no pressure. We can just let it happen."

"We'll go as slow as you're comfortable with, Joey. I really want this to
work." He got up and put some more wood on the fire but when he came back
he pushed my legs apart a little and sat on the floor between them and
leaned back against my chest. "This isn't too much for you, is it?"

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me. He leaned his
head back against the side of mine.

"No, this is perfect."

Ben

I was blown away when Joey told me that he thought he wanted to be more
than friends. I'd always just assumed he was straight. Looking back I could
see that he hadn't tried to deceive me but knowing he had been happily
married made me jump to conclusions.

We sat on the floor together in silence, looking into the fire, me leaning
back against Joey, him with his arms holding me tight, for I don't know how
long. In spite of the huge change in the direction of our relationship that
had just occurred, there didn't seem to be anything that needed
saying. Actually, there was probably lots that we could have talked about
but all either of us wanted to do was be together. Talk could wait.

I had known the previous Friday that Joey could very easily be 'my
type'. He didn't look like the guys I usually was attracted to, but he
there was no denying that he was sexy. And even before Friday night, he had
always made me feel secure, right from that night we met when he changed my
tire. It was a good thing that he wasn't my physical 'type.' A couple of
months ago I wasn't ready for this. He sneaked up on me and now I had no
choice but to be ready. I heard the clock chime in the living room and
realized it was getting late, that Joey should be getting home.

"So where do we go from here, Joey? What's next?"

"I don't know, Ben. I guess we can just keep going the way we have been,
maybe see a bit more of each other, be a little more
affectionate. Basically just let it develop. This is all so new to me. I
think I'd better take baby steps if that's okay with you."

"That's fine with me. There's no rush. Sitting here with you tonight is one
of the nicest evenings I've had in a long time. I can wait as long as you
want."

"I was just thinking about what Angie said. I know she meant it about me
and her but I wonder how she'd react if she knew the real impact of her
advice."

"What are you going to do about her, Joey? Do you think she's really
interested in you?"

"I don't know, Ben. I enjoy my friendship with her and would hate to lose
it. We've known each other forever, though we weren't close in school. But
she's a part of my culture, a link to my past. I'm just going to have to be
careful not to lead her on and head her off if I see any signs of her
wanting more."

"Yeah, just like with us, I guess you'll just have to see how it goes."

"Speaking of going..."

Joey took his arms from around me and nudged me a bit. I stood in front of
him and held out my hand. He grabbed it and I pulled him up to his feet. He
leaned into me and planted several tiny light kisses all over my lips, then
began gently nibbling them. I put my arms around him and began kissing him
back. The kisses became less playful and more passionate. Soon we were back
into the amazing kiss from Friday night. It was even better this time
because we knew what we were doing and both wanted it. I was hard as steel
and this time I knew that what I was feeling pressing back was Joey. After
a while I became aware of a panting sound. Since both of our mouths were
busy, I was puzzled. We pulled apart and looked down. Lula was humping the
air about two feet away from us.

"Jeez, we can't get away with this anywhere. Friday night Becky said we
turned on half the bar. And now, even in the privacy of my home, we've got
an aroused audience. I guess we'd better stop."

"It's just as well, Ben. Another minute of that and I might have started
humping your leg."

"I was thinking of a region just a little bit higher than that, Joey."

Joey's eyes widened.

"Baby steps, Ben. Remember, baby steps."

Joey

When I got home that night I lay on my back in bed for a while,
smiling. Ben felt sooo good. It had always felt good to be with him. Now it
felt even better. I hadn't been sure I would be able to talk to him about
it but I was thrilled that I had. He was too, obviously. I knew there would
be lots of stumbling blocks ahead of us. Angie was the first and probably
the easiest. My family posed all sorts of problems. I didn't want to think
about it. Somehow, I just knew it would all work out. It had to. If I had
been unsure before there was now no doubt in my mind that what I was doing
was the right thing for me. It would all work out if we just took it slowly
and let it happen.

Saturday night Angie and I went to the diner for dinner. I was careful in
everything I said not to give her any ideas. I hoped I wouldn't always have
to tiptoe around her like that but it was the first time I'd seen her since
the kiss and her little talk. I wanted to make it clear to her that things
were still on a 'just friends' basis. When I dropped her off later I made
sure my goodnight kiss landed on her cheek.

Sunday was Halloween and John and Carla were hosting a party for all of the
kids. I'd been lucky to find a NY Mets uniform that was just the right size
for Connor. It fit him perfectly right down to the cap and glove, although
he kept letting the glove fall off his hand. He looked so adorable. What
made it even more fun was that when I'd picked out the costume, the woman
at the rental shop mentioned that they had another one in my size. I hadn't
intended to go in costume myself. After all, Halloween is for kids. But I
couldn't pass up the opportunity to dress up like Connor. After I got my
costume on I went into Mom and Pop's room to check myself out in the
full-length mirror. It was a perfect fit, although it was maybe a little
snug across the butt. I had a small frame and pretty narrow hips, but I'd
always thought my backside was a little out of proportion. It was
well-rounded and firm but seemed to stick out a bit and that was especially
noticeable in these baseball pants. Something about the way the pants were
cut made the crotch bulge out quite a bit, too. I knew that ballplayers
wore cups so there would be extra room for that if this were a real uniform
but this was a costume. All in all I thought it was a little sexy, but not
too much for a kids party.

All of my nieces and nephews were at the party. About half of them were
still young enough to get dressed up. The older ones were there mostly
under orders from their parents and didn't all stay for the whole
afternoon. Mom and Pop dropped by for a while to fuss over the grandkids. A
few kids from the neighborhood were there as well. The one guest I didn't
expect to see was Angie.

"What are you doing here? You didn't mention you were coming last night
when I was talking about the party."

"I thought I'd surprise you. Carla was in the salon the other day and
invited me. I think your whole family is trying to play matchmaker."

"I keep telling them that we're just friends but they just don't give up."

"Yeah, well, whatever. Don't let them push you into anything, Joey, but
make sure you don't go in the opposite direction just to spite them. Do
what you want to do."

I tried to avoid Angie as much as possible but she stuck pretty close to me
all afternoon. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her but I didn't want us
to appear to be there as a couple. I knew my whole family was watching and
I wasn't sure where Angie thought things were going with us. Around four I
was thinking of leaving when Angie made a suggestion.

"Why don't you come over to my place and I'll make you dinner, Joey? My
parents went to my sister's for the day so we'd have the place to
ourselves."

"That sounds nice, Angie, but I had something else in mind, actually. I
want to take Connor over to my friend Ben's house in Florham Park. I know
his friend Becky was planning to be there and neither of them have met
Connor. He's so cute in this outfit, not that he needs help in making a
good first impression."

"Ben is your gay friend, right?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Maybe I'd better come with you. You're looking awfully sexy in that
uniform and you might need some protection."

"Oh c'mon, Angie, I can take care of myself. Besides, Ben doesn't attack
every sexy guy he sees."

"No point in taking chances, Joey. I'll get my coat and be with you in a
sec." She turned and went out to the hall closet. I turned around and
Vinnie was standing behind me frowning.

"You're taking your boy to that fag's house? Are you nuts?"

"I think you're the one who's nuts, Vinnie. Ben is gay, which means he's
into other men, not baby boys."

"You'd better watch him, Joey. I think you're making a big mistake."

Just then Angie came back with her jacket. I'd been hoping to talk her out
of going with me to Ben's but it looked like I had no choice. I wanted to
be able to be with Ben the way I wanted but if I started making excuses
Vinnie would wonder what was up. It looked like I was stuck with a
chaperone.

To be continued...