Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2012 20:53:41 -0700 (PDT) From: Bono Torros Subject: Sleepy Days, Come No More_Chapter 48 Sleepy Days, Come No More Chapter 48 With winter came college deadlines and an impending holiday season, fortunately I survived both. I spent the holidays with Adrian and a mix of our friends. We had a pretty good time. I had spoken to Blake around Christmas and we had exchanged gifts. He had even sent gifts for Michael and for Marie and Thomas's baby, which I thought was sweet. We hadn't seen each other since the summer he left for Peru, but that was about to change. I was meeting Adrian at a downtown restaurant to have dinner with another couple. I was waiting in the reception area when someone tapped me on my left shoulder. I turned around expecting to find Adrian but instead I found Blake. He smiled broadly. He was a bit darker and he had grown a beard, but he was still so handsome and his emerald eyes still sparkled. Before I knew it I had practically leapt into his arms. I was just so happy to see him. "Whoa!" He exclaimed as he embraced me. We hugged for a few moments then just took a step back and looked at each other. "You look good. I see Peru agrees with you." I observed. "I feel good too; I think that Peru has been great for me. You look good too." He said with a smile. "When did you get in town?" I inquired. "This morning." He informed. "Why didn't you say anything? We just talked a few days ago?" I asked. "Well, it was kind of a last minute decision and I thought I would surprise you." He replied. "You did surprise me. What are you doing here?" I asked. "I was driving by and saw you coming in here so I pulled over." He explained. "So this is one of those happy coincidences." I said with a smile. "Or fate which ever you choose." He replied. "I don't care which, I am just so happy to see you." I confessed. "So you here for dinner?" He asked. "Yeah, I'm meeting people for dinner they should be here. I was just waiting for the hostess to return." I informed. "How are you Steve?" He asked. "I am fine." I said with a smile. "You've gone the rugged route I see." I observed as I reached over and brushed his beard with my finger tips. He laughed and grazed my hand with one of his, "Yeah. You like it?" He asked. "You look handsome." I said. "Thanks." He said with a bit of a blush. "Are you blushing Mr. Mitchell?" I teased. He looked down for a moment, showing a bit of embarrassment, "It is sun burn." He said with a laugh. "That is a horrible lie and when did you become so bashful?" I asked. "I have no idea." He said. "Well, it is certainly a change, though it is cute too." I confessed. "Are you flirting with me?" He asked with a grin. "Now that is the Blake that I remember." I said and we both chuckled. We were standing close enough to each other that when I leaned slightly forward, I clapped his chest with my hand. "Steven." A voice called out and broke our laughter. I turned and this time it was Adrian. He walked over to us. "Adrian." I said. "Hello, we are waiting for you." Adrian said. "Oh, I bumped into a friend of mine. This is Blake Mitchell, Blake Mitchell this Adrian Janssen, my boyfriend." I introduced. "Hello Blake." Adrian said extending his hand to Blake. "Hello Adrian." Blake replied and shook his hand. "I have heard a lot about you young man." Adrian said. "I hope it wasn't too bad." Blake said with a smile. "No, not at all, Steven thinks a lot of you." Adrian replied. "That is good; I think a lot of him too. I hope that you are treating him well." Blake said. "He is treating me very well." I said intercepting the question. "What has brought you back to town?" Adrian asked. "Well, I have been gone a long time and wanted to come back and visit my friends before going back to Peru." Blake informed. "That is great. When are you leaving?" Adrian asked. "I'm going back to Peru in two weeks but I am going back to Chicago on Saturday." Blake answered. "That isn't much time, but perhaps we can all do lunch or dinner before you go, if you are available." Adrian suggested. "Yeah that sounds like a good idea. I know that Michael would love to see you and you could see Marie and Thomas' baby." I suggested. "That sounds like a good idea. Just let me know when and where." Blake said. "My place would probably be fine." I said. "Great. It was nice meeting you Blake, Steven we are being very rude." Adrian said. "Oh, yeah, I guess we are. It was nice seeing you Blake." I said as I stepped closer to him and gave him a hug. He seemed a little reserved with his embrace. "It was good seeing you guys, I um, look forward to getting together." Blake said with a smile. "Have a good evening." Adrian said. "You guys do the same." Blake replied. Adrian placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me through the reception area and into the dining hall. That night we went back to Adrian's apartment. I had been spending a lot of time over there and had drawers and closet space. We both changed into our pajamas and climbed into bed. He read from a novel, which he did every night and I worked on a crossword puzzle. Once I finished the puzzle I put away the book and turned on my side facing Adrian. He was immersed in his book and did not take notice of my gaze at first, but before long he looked over at me and smiled. "Is there something troubling you?" He inquired. "Why did you want to have dinner with Blake?" I asked. "Do you not want to have dinner with him?" He asked. "It isn't that, I was just a little surprised that you would want us to spend time together and you didn't even consult me first, it was just very unexpected." I explained. "If it bothers you we can cancel. I saw how happy you were to see him; I just thought that you would want to spend some time with him before he leaves." He informed. "No, that won't be necessary; I just wanted to clarify your reasons." I said. "What motives did you think I had?" He inquired. "Well, you know that Blake and I were involved and we loved each other very much, he was my first love so to speak, so I didn't know if you wanted to size him up or test me or something." I said. "Honestly, it isn't about sizing him up or testing you, I know that you and Blake were involved in a very intense relationship and clearly you two still care for one another and still contact each other, sharing emails and holiday gifts, I just figured if he is going to be a part of your life I should get to know him a little and I want him to see us together too." He explained. "Those are very valid reasons." I acknowledged. "I thought they were." He agreed. "Do you want him to see us together because you think that he still interested in me?" I asked. "I just think that it is best, if you two are going to remain friends, that we all know our positions." He said. "I think I understand." I said. "Good." He said. "Goodnight." I said and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight." He said and resumed reading. I turned off my lamp and settled into a comfortable position. I was just about to close my eyes but there was one question left that I needed to ask. I again turned over and looked at Adrian. "Adrian." I said. "Yes." He replied. "Does it bother you that Blake and I are still friends?" I inquired. He took off his glasses and placed them on his night stand along with his book. He turned and looked into my eyes. "Would it bother you if I asked you to end your friendship with him?" He inquired. I was a little surprised by the gravity of his question. Of course it would bother me if Adrian asked me to stop communicating with Blake; I didn't even know if I would consider honoring such a request. I scrambled in my mind to find an appropriate manner to express the truth without offending Adrian. Before I had the opportunity to present my appropriate answer Adrian chimed in, "I know that it would bother you more to not be his friend than it bothers me that you are." He said. "That is very considerate of you Adrian." I contended. "It is reasonable. We both have people from our past, if our relationship is going to be successful there has to be some concessions made." He said. "Yes, I suppose that is right." I replied. He looked over at the clock, "Goodnight Steven." He said and reached over and turned out the light. "Goodnight Adrian." I replied. I had lunch with Vanessa. We met at a sandwich shop near the hospital. We embraced and ordered our meals and the found a place to sit. "So what's up?" Vanessa asked. "Nothing much, I saw Blake yesterday." I informed. "Oh, we saw him yesterday too. Where?" She asked. "At Niche, downtown." I informed. "Fancy." She said. "Adrian and I were having dinner there with a couple of his friends. It was just a chance occurrence; apparently Blake was passing the restaurant and saw me going in. I guess he was probably on his way to your place because it's right in your area." I said. "I wondered why he didn't mention it." She said. "Well, it was no big deal. But we are having a little get together for Blake at my place, just so everyone can see him before he leaves. Do you and Rico want to come?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm sure I will be there and if Rico doesn't have to work he will probably come too." She said. "Good." I replied. "So, Adrian is okay with you throwing a party for your ex-boyfriend?" She asked. "It was kind of his idea." I said. "It was Adrian's idea?" She asked in surprise. "Well, he suggested that we go out to dinner or lunch with Blake, but I suggested that we did something at my place so Blake could see Michael and Marie's baby." I said. "And Adrian went for that?" She inquired. "When I suggested it, it was a bit of an impulse so last night I asked Adrian about it and he said that it was fine, that it was a "concession"." I informed. "A concession?" She inquired. "Yes. He said that all couples have to make reasonable concessions to have a successful relationship." I said. "That is very mature of him. That must make you happy that he is being so understanding." She said. "Yeah . . . . . . I guess so." I said. "What is wrong?" She asked. "I think that it kind of bothers him that I am still friends with Blake. I think that he has not asked me to stop because he knows that would make me unhappy." I informed. "Well, why does he want to spend time with Blake?" She inquired. "So we all know what our "positions" are." I said. "Oh . . . . . well, you can't really blame him for that. If I were him I think I would feel very uncomfortable with you maintaining a relationship with Blake." She confessed. "I know, I can completely understand that." I said. "Wouldn't you have a problem if Adrian maintained a relationship with one of his ex-boyfriends?" She asked. I thought for a moment, "Honestly, I don't think that it would really bother me." I confessed. "Okay, if you and Blake were together would it bother you if he remained friends with Jonathan?" She asked as she looked intently at my face. "Yes." I exclaimed. "But not Adrian." She observed. "That is different, Blake had an affair with Jonathan, so clearly Jonathan wouldn't have any type of respect for our relationship, and I would feel uncomfortable with that scenario. But I don't think that Adrian would cheat on me, so I would feel okay with him communicating with his ex." I explained. "That sounds logical." She said with a smile, "Anyway, the party or dinner will be on Thursday at 6pm." I informed. "Should I bring anything or help setup?" She asked. "No you don't need to bring anything; it is going to be very relaxed." I said. "Well, I'll bring a bottle of wine or something." She insisted. "Okay." I said. "So, we have talked about me, now what about you?" I asked. With that question I managed to shift the direction of the conversation and we discussed her for the remainder of the time. Michael helped me get the apartment ready for our little party. It didn't really require much, though since I had been spending much time at Adrian's I had not been around to encourage my roommate to maintain my standard of cleanliness. After we mopped, dusted, vacuumed and sanitized, we moved on to cooking. Well, I cooked and Michael watched and passed me things. It was actually nice to spend some one on one time with Michael. It sounds strange but it was like he getting older and didn't need me as much anymore. He was spending a lot of his time with Malcolm and he was working at the hospital now, in a different department, so he was always busy. "So what time is everyone coming?" Michael asked. "I told them 6." I informed. "Well, I have to work tonight so I'm going to have to cut out around 9." He said. "Cool. I think it should be over by then." I said. "So, Blake and Adrian are both going to be here. Maybe they will bond and go out play a game of basketball or golf." Michael said facetiously. "Is Malcolm still coming?" I asked. "Yeah, he wouldn't skip a free meal." Michael said with a laugh. "I know." I said with a smile. "You know what I just thought about?" He said. "What?" I inquired. "That everyone will be a couple except Blake." He said. "You're right, but it shouldn't matter we aren't in high school there won't be any necking or anything like that." I said. "Speak for yourself." Michael said. "It wouldn't kill you to limit your public displays of affection." I said. "I'm sorry we can't all be as prudish as you and Dr. Janssen." He quipped with a laugh. "He asked you to call him Adrian." I reminded. "I know but I feel more comfortable calling him Dr. Janssen or maybe Uncle Adrian." He replied with more laughter. "Is that an age joke, because as I recall you had a major crush on one of your professors and he was quite a bit older than Adrian and less attractive." I retorted. "It isn't about his actual age; it is the way he acts. He is always so serious. And he may be more attractive than Professor Robbie but Professor Robbie was extremely cool and very sexy." Michael insisted. "I thought you said that Adrian was a nice guy?" I asked. "He is a nice guy, he is just boring and you tend to be a little boring so together you're like an implosion of boredom." He said with a smirk. "We aren't boring, we are a mature couple. You are just limited and young. Your idea of excitement is being pushed around in a mosh pit with loud music blasting." I contended. "Whatever you say grandpa." He retorted. "Aw, stuff it." I said as I popped him in his stomach with a dish towel. Everyone had arrived by 6:15 and we were having dinner by 6:45. Everything was going fine. Everyone was happy to see Blake, especially Michael. We all talked over dinner. Blake told us about his time in Peru. He was really quite excited about the entire thing. He often smiled or laughed when discussing his students. He said that he lived in an old apartment building and apparently it was very small, but he seemed to love that too. He said it was less to clean and he said that it didn't much matter since he spent most of his time out of the apartment any way. After dinner we sat in the living room and I served cake and coffee, milk for me. Everyone scattered about the room. I sat on the sofa between Adrian and Vanessa, while Rico sat on the opposite side of Vanessa. Marie and Lena shared the loveseat, while David and Thomas pulled up dining room chairs and sat on either side of the loveseat, next to their respective partners. Blake sat in the over sized chair in the corner while Malcolm and Michael shared the ottoman. "Dinner was great Mattie." Blake said. "Mattie?" Malcolm asked. "Steven's middle name is Matthew." Michael informed. "Oh, you like being called Mattie?" Malcolm inquired. "Well, my younger brother calls me Mattie sometimes; I believe I may have told Henry that." I said. "Who is Henry?" Malcolm asked. "Henry is Blake's first name." Michael said. "I think you all will like the cake it is a Mitchell family recipe." I informed. "I thought it smelled familiar." Blake said. "It is good Steven." Adrian complimented. "Thank you." I said. "So how are you two liking parenthood?" Blake asked Marie and Thomas. "It's great man. I love being a dad. She is still so small but I swear she gets smarter every day." Thomas gushed. "It has been a major change, I never thought it would be so hard but Madalyn is just perfect, she has her own little personality and spirit, I love her. And Thomas is already spoiling her and Michael and Steve have helped out so much." Marie said. "She is a beautiful baby." Vanessa added. "Thank you. You are pretty good with her too, are you and Rico considering having children any time soon?" Marie asked. "No!" Rico exclaimed with a smile, which caused a bit of laughter amongst us. "Well, Rico and I aren't sure that we want children at all. I mean I think parenthood is a beautiful experience but I don't know if I am the mothering type. I have plenty of nieces and nephews and I am certainly the aunty type but mother, not so much." Vanessa confessed. "I think that is great, that you acknowledge that parenthood isn't for you. I see so many mothers with multiple children who are completely overwhelmed and miserable. And everyone suffers, the parents and the children." Lena said. "And it is so difficult to balance parenthood, a career and a full personal life, I mean can anybody really have everything and be successful at it all?" Vanessa asked. "Yeah that is a good point. It does seem that things have gotten harder, especially for women. It seems that they have to be mother, wife and career woman. It seemed like it was hard enough being a housewife." I said. "Plenty of parents raise children and have careers. My parents did it, so does my sister and her husband. Steven, your parents worked and Blake you said your parents had careers too, so it isn't impossible." Thomas added. "Well, I don't know how your parents and your sister are faring but uh, my parents were completely terrible at it. Don't get me wrong I love them both dearly, but they were never around and I think it would have been better if they had been." Blake said. "I think it is a matter of balance. It is possible to have a successful career and be a parent." Adrian chimed in. "It is possible but it requires a lot of sacrifice, and the more successful the person the more sacrifice it demands." Vanessa added. "Are you implying that the more successful the person is in their profession the more sacrifice that it requires to be a parent?" Lena asked. "That is exactly what I am saying. I mean most professions are extremely competitive, if you let up at all there is a long list of people just waiting to pounce on the opportunity to replace you. We are all professionals here, all of us have put a lot of time and effort into honing our skills and it would be a huge sacrifice to take time away from that." Vanessa said. "I think you are only looking at from one perspective, if your career is the biggest priority in your life, and I am not criticizing that, then of course it would be an unfulfilling sacrifice to have a family but if being married and having children is a higher priority for you than professional advancement, then it would be a greater sacrifice not to have a family. For me, I went to school so I could get a career so I could one day provide a stable life for myself and my family, so the former is lesser than the latter." Marie countered. "I completely understand what you are saying, and in your case family is obviously the top priority, but I would have to suggest that most people feel pressured to have a family and career and everything. It just seems like parenthood has become very romanticized, almost like it is the ultimate goal . . . . . . . . if you don't procreate you are less than a woman . . . ." Vanessa said. "The expectation is only for woman?" Rico said as he playfully nudged Vanessa. "I was speaking from the feminine perspective, but certainly there is pressure on males to procreate also, to carry on the family name and prove their virility. But men have more time and society still expects the woman to be the primary caregiver. Rico can start his family at 50, at Christmas dinner my mother basically told me that time was running out and I am not even 30 yet." Vanessa said. "That is true, though there have been strides made for equality among genders, the fact still remains that women are expected to become mothers and wives and men are expected to work and provide." Lena said in agreement. "I think that part of it is vanity." David chimed in. "Vanity?" Thomas asked. "Yes, vanity. Like people have a strong desire to have little copies of themselves' walking about, almost to assure their own immortality or something. The world is already filled with children who need good homes, yet people spend millions of dollars a year on fertility treatments. Is biological connection the sole determinate of who a parent is? Is that the only factor?" David replied. "David that is awfully cynical. Certainly there are millions of children who need homes, but is that any reason to criticize those who what to have biological children, I mean it isn't there fault that so many parents couldn't or chose not to care for their children. I imagine that for some people the process of pregnancy and the excitement of being present for the birth of their child is something extremely special. I don't think that it is necessarily vain to want to experience that. I think I would like to have a child that might resemble me or my partner, who may share some of our traits." I added. "Not to mention the fact that adoption in this country is extremely difficult. It is very hard to get a new born or young child and many of the older children in the foster care system are troubled, which creates even more apprehension on the parts of potential parents." Lena said. "Wait, Steve, are you and Adrian thinking about starting a family?" Michael asked abruptly. The question drew a few glances in my direction, most notably from Blake. I sighed quietly and looked over at Adrian, and then I looked at Michael. "Yes, um, we have been talking about it recently. You know considering what our future should entail." I answered. "That is great." David added. "I think so." Adrian agreed. "How would you manage that?" Vanessa asked. "Manage it? You mean adoption or surrogacy?" I inquired. "No, I mean with both of your lifestyles." Vanessa clarified. "Like I said earlier it is all about balance. I mean if we start a family, I know that I am willing to alter my professional life and I think that Steven would be willing to also. Perhaps one of us would even be willing to stop working for a few years while the children are young." Adrian added. "Wow, I mean, that would be sacrifice." Rico said. "Well, nothing is concrete. It may be a little while off and it is more complicated seeing as we can't conceive as easily as Marie and Thomas." I informed. "But you can still try. It may prove fruitless, but at least you two will have lots of fun trying." Michael said with a laugh. We continued to talk about family and the importance of parenthood for about twenty more minutes. After that I collected the desert dishes and took them to the kitchen. Lena and David said that they had to go around 8 and Adrian said he should be heading out shortly after. I walked Adrian to the door. "Are you sure you have to leave so soon?" I asked. "You know I have that conference in the morning and I have to drive an hour and a half to get there so I need to get some rest." Adrian reminded. "Well, do you want me to come?" I asked. "No you stay here and enjoy yourself. How can you leave your own party? You are the host." He said. "It is not a big deal one of them can lock up." I said. "No. You stay. I will see you tomorrow night." Adrian said and leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "Alright. Well, call me and let me know you made it home safely." I instructed. "I will send you a text." Adrian said. "Okay." I said. I went back into the apartment and in to the living room. "You guys want to play taboo?" I asked enthusiastically. "Yeah, that should be fun." Marie said. "Teams of two." I instructed. The actual couples paired up together leaving Blake and me as a pair. We all sat around the dining table and took turns playing. It was really fun; it was just like old times. We laughed and teased each other. We played for about an hour until Michael had to go to work. After Michael and Malcolm left, Marie and Thomas went home taking Madalyn with them. Soon Vanessa and Rico were calling it quits too, which only left Blake and I. "Well, we managed to run everyone off." I said with a laugh. "Yeah. I guess we did." Blake said with a smile. "Did you enjoy yourself?" I asked. "Yes, it was nice to see everyone." He said. "Yeah, Michael was very happy to see you; he thinks you are just the best thing since sliced bread." I said with a laugh. "Well, can you blame him?" Blake said with a laugh. "I won't blame him for being a little confused." I countered. "Very funny Mattie." He said. "It's a gift." I said with a grin. "I guess I should be heading off soon myself." Blake said. "Yeah, it seems unrespectable for me to be entertaining my ex-boyfriend at this hour of night all alone, what would people say?" I asked playfully. "Adrian seems like a nice guy, really smart too." Blake said. "Yes. He is very nice and very smart." I confirmed. "He treats you well?" He asked. "Yeah, he treats me well." I answered. "That is good." He said. "Are you seeing anyone?" I asked. "I have been out with a couple of guys, nothing serious. You know Peru is a heavily Catholic country. They don't persecute homosexuals to the point of murder or imprisonment but it is still not the most acceptable thing to do and really I am not there to date. I am focused on my teaching." Blake said. "I am proud of you. At first I was a little concerned about you moving so far away but I see that it has really made you happy." I said. "Thanks." Blake said. "You are welcome." I said. "So, you and Adrian are seriously considering starting a family?" Blake asked. "Well, we are talking about it. Adrian is ready to start." I said. "And you?" He asked. "I am graduating soon, so it won't be immediately." I said. "Will Adrian be the one to stay home until the children can go to school?" Blake asked. "Well, he makes more money than me, so from a financial stand point it would be more logical if I stayed home for a few years." I informed. "You want to stop working, your career has been so important to you?" Blake inquired. "It is all about compromise, I suppose, besides nothing is concrete. We have only talked, nothing more." I said. "Just follow your heart Steve." Blake said. "I will." I said. "Well, I should leave." He said. "It was good to see you." I said as we walked toward the door. Blake opened the door and stepped into the hall. "Thanks for dinner, it was great." He said. "All of your favorites." I said with a smile. "Yep." He agreed. "Look I am leaving Saturday morning, you think I can stop by to say bye?" He asked. "I would like that." I said. We said goodnight and hugged and then he was gone. ******************************************************************** Acknowledgement: I must take the time to acknowledge Raziya, my editor. I have been producing at quite a high level of late and this woman has been simply amazing. She has proofed and reproofed so many chapters for me and has improved the quality of the story with her editing and sound advice. I really want to give due praise for all of her great work. Thank you Raziya. ******************************************************************* Comments: The relationship with Adrian is just......for lack of a better word....boring.˙ Steven does admit that its nice, but definitely does not have the spice and excitement that his and Blake's had.˙ True also, that spice and excitement did not bring them happiness...at least, not yet, but it certainly˙makes a lasting impression on one's heart and mind. ˙˙This relationship with Adrian may give him comfort and security, but I think he˙will forever keep remembering the passion, love and excitement he had with Blake, and˙even with Sean.˙ I hate to see him settle for˙such a low key relationship. Jake Adrian...maybe he's is what Steve needed to not be alone, but even Steve knows Adrian is not the one..he's nice, gentle and considerate, but so is a dog. Yes the sex, everyone needs that, but when there's no spark, it's just getting off, not making love. Big difference..Steve needs love too. I'm sure there is a friendship there, but more "Friend with benefits". It's like for now Steve's just settled for the one who is there. He compares Adrian to Blake...Adrian is a shadow, Blake is the body, similar in shape, but oh so different. Steve needs the whole body...As for Chuck...He's a scrambled egg...He is spiraling down..Sad... Clayton I must say Steven is something else. He has so many internal problems, I'm beginning to think he shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. I seriously don't think he needs to be with Adrian as they go through the motions of being in a relationship with no spontaneity or passion. At the same time, Steven is so logical and analytical he might never catch fire. With Steven, I don't have to worry about spontaneous combustion. Michael *************************************************************************** Appreciation: Special thanks to Oscar, Lou, Arch, Clayton, Jake, Ed, Adolfo, Khalid, Gary, Lucas, Vern, John, Lance, Oz, Dudung, Alan, Terry, Rogue, Jerry, Paul, Greg, John J., Harold, Kim, Small, Barry, Michael B., Cameron, David S., Randy, Liam, Byron, Kris, Bryan, Fred, Leslie, Greg S., Chris, Tomaz, David, Alex, Tony, Jerry L., Emmanuel, Lulu, Joseph, Bruce, Peter M., Andrew, Matlock, Shawn, Bobby, Brissie, Dale, Gregory, Bill, Ryan, David R., Bradley, Ron, Bruce, Tom, Mick, Curtis, JT and Mikal for their support, and everyone who has taken the time to follow this story, I really appreciate you all. Sincerest thanks to Nifty and all of the wonderful participants who make this site possible, from the generous donors to the archivists and administrators, you all are truly appreciated. Last but not least, thanks to the editor, Raziya, for all of the wonderful work. *************************************************************************** Let Me Know: Please, forward any comments or feedback to bonotorros@yahoo.com. I would also encourage you to visit the yahoo group, Bono's Corner at http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/bonoscorner. Whichever one you choose I look forward to hearing your thoughts.