Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2012 18:50:53 -0400 (EDT)
From: Pwrlftrbear@aol.com
Subject: Falling Into Forever Chapter 3

	It didn't take long to get his life wrapped up.  Apparently, he had
been thinking about retiring, so already had everything pretty much in
place.  But he was full of questions.  I just stepped back and let Mike
answer them as best he could.  He was the papa, after all.
	I have to admit, Mikey could have done worse.  As I got to know
Cliff, I found I liked him a great deal.  He seemed to have a steadying
effect on Mike.  He had a whole different sphere of experience than Mike
did.  And Mike was an interested and willing student.
	After a month or so, I decided it was safe to leave them to their
own devices.
	"But Papa...!" Mike said anxiously.
	"You need time to bond with your cub," I said as I was packing my
things.  "Don't need me around interfering with that."
	"You had Rick and Paul," he pointed out.
	I zipped my bag shut before answering.
	"That was an...unusual situation.  Paul's never been a real papa.
You will be."
	"But what if I fuck it up?" he said, worry clear in his expression.
	I pulled him close and kissed his forehead.
	"I'm only a phone call away," I assured him.
	"Where will you be going?" Cliff asked.
	"Going to visit some of my...our family.  Going to see how some of
my other cubs are doing."

	Now I remember why I don't do these cross country rides very much.
By the time I got to the East Coast, I was beat.
	Early one afternoon, I pulled into the parking lot at Papa Tony's
Pizzeria.  There were only a couple of cars in the lot, but then, it was
between lunch and dinner.
	I walked in and saw a big man standing in the doorway, talking to
someone in the back room.
	"I'm dying for some decent pizza.  Know where I can get some?" I
called.
	He turned, then his eyes widened and a broad grin crossed his face.
	"Papa!" he cried, rushing forward to catch me in a big bear hug.
	"Good to see you, too, Tony," I grunted.
	"Where's Mike?" he asked, glancing out the door.
	"Back home.  Looks like you're going to be an uncle."
	"Woo hoo!" came a voice from the back.
	"Fresh meat!" came another.
	A pair of faces grinned at me through the long window in the back
wall.  Tony might be able to tell them apart, but it's been a while since
I'd seen the boys.
	"Hey Sal.  Hey Gabe.  So, how's business?" I asked.
	"Not bad," Tony said.  "Think it helps having a number of bears
around here."
	"Is Mark still around?"
	"Yep.  He and Kip stop in every so often."
	"Think I could get his number?  Don't think I've got his latest
one."
	"Sure."

	"Jim!"
	The red headed bear barreled down the steps.  His dress shirt was
unbuttoned, exposing an expanse of fur, a tie hanging loosely around his
thick neck.
	"How you doing, Mark?" I asked as he pulled me off my bike.
	"Can't complain.  Nobody'd listen if I did," he laughed, hugging me
tight.
	He pulled away, gripping my shoulder, his eyes moist.
	"Forgot how much you look like Rick," he said.
	"You look in the mirror lately?" I teased, trying to divert his
mood.  "Where's Kip?"
	"He had a class this afternoon.  I just had the one this morning.
We both finally got our tenure.  Again.  I think that's the worst part
about starting over like we have to do.  But he should be home...," he
said, tilting his head, listening.  "Right about... now."
	Another truck was coming up the drive.
	"Jim!  What are you doing here?" Kip asked as he climbed out,
loosening his tie.  "You said you had a surprise for me, but I wasn't
expecting this.  Can I unwrap it now?"
	"Be my guest," I said, holding my arms out.
	He cast a wicked glance at Mark then stepped toward me, pulling my
t-shirt up.
	"Can tell you two are related," Kip teased, running his hand
through my chest hair.  "Always thought it was funny how much you look
alike."
	"We both take after Rick," I said.
	"So how come I don't look like him?" he asked, nodding toward his
papa, dark hair falling into his eyes.
	"How the hell should I know?" I shrugged.  "I ain't no geneticist.
Though Mark and I are the only ones I know who look alike.  God knows Gene
certainly doesn't take after Rick."
	"So what's going on?" Mark said, guiding me into the house.
	"Well, Mikey's a new papa.  So I decided to visit some family while
they're bonding."
	"You stop and see Tony?" Kip asked.
	"Of course.  How do you think I got your number?  Hope you don't
mind, but he and the boys want to stop by after their shift.  They said
they'll bring supper."
	"Mmm.  Pizza...," Kip growled.
	"Don't know about you," Mark said.  "But I'm not hungry for food."

	A few hours later, we were interrupted by a knock on the door.
	"Papa Tony's Pizza!  It's hot, meaty, and tasty!" Tony bellowed.
	"Sounds good," I said, opening the door, buck naked.  "And I got
your tip right here."
	"Just the tip?" Sal asked.
	"Was hoping for the whole thing," Gabe finished.
	"So how's my old man doing?" Tony said, sliding several pizza boxes
onto the table.
	"Calling me old?" I laughed.  "If I remember right, you're getting
close to your twentieth decade yourself."
	"You're almost two hundred years old?" Kip said, his eyes growing
wide.
	"Yeah," Tony said sheepishly.  "Didn't your papa explain that to
you?"
	"Yeah he did.  Just...hard to accept sometimes."
	"And actually, I've had the boys for about a hundred and seventy
years or something like that."
	"You've been together all that time?" Kip asked.
	"Pretty much," Tony chuckled, wrapping his arms around the boys'
necks.  "They keep me satisfied."
	"I've always wondered," Kip said as we sat down to eat.  "How did
you end up with twins?"
	The boys looked at Tony and he looked at me.
	"Well, I made a rookie mistake.  I left him alone," I chuckled.  "I
had headed into town for some supplies.  Now, I'm not talking like today
when you can get to town and back in an hour or so.  Was a major effort
back then."
	"I keep forgetting how much older you are," Kip teased.
	"Yeah, well, you'll get to be my age someday," I growled.
	"Yeah, and you'll still be my older brother," Mark laughed.
	"And don't you forget it," I laughed.  "Anyway, it took me a couple
of days to get to town, a few more to get the supplies we needed that we
couldn't make for ourselves, then a couple of days to get back.  When I got
there...," I said, nodding to the boys.
	"Well, while he was gone, I decided to do some hunting," Tony said,
picking up the tale.  "Some fresh meat was always welcome.  Just wasn't
expecting the kind I found."
	"Salvatore and I were fur trappers," Gabe continued.  "We were
checking our beaver traps when I suppose karma caught up with us."
	"Didn't notice the tree had been girdled until it was falling on
me," Sal said ruefully.
	"It was too heavy for me to lift.  I was sure I was going to lose
him," Gabe said, remembered fright moistening his eyes.
	"So were you...?" Kip asked.
	"Lovers?" Sal chuckled.  "Yeah.  Back then, people didn't think
much about two trappers going off together.  'Course, weren't nothing like
that damn cowboy movie."
	"Know that was a straight guy's idea of what gay sex is like," Gabe
laughed.  "Just slid right in.  Maybe if he's hung like a mouse."
	"So, anyway," Tony interrupted.  "I heard the tree fall and Gabe's
shouts.  By the time I found them, Sal was in bad shape.  I got the tree
off of him, but knew he wouldn't make it without...well, you know.  But
then, what would I do with him?" Tony said, nodding to Gabe.  "Well, I
didn't have it in me to save the one if I had to...get rid of the other.
So, I bled Sal and bred Gabe."
	"Oy.  Two at once," Mark groaned.
	"Tell me about it," I agreed.  "By the time I got back with the
supplies, I had to turn around and head back to town for more."
	"Was hell trying to keep them feed.  Didn't have restaurants around
back then."
	"Bet you were worn out," Kip teased, elbowing me.
	"Are you kidding?  After the first few weeks, I left to give them
time to bond, just like I'm doing now."
	I didn't think they needed to know what I did with my time.  Let's
just say, that was when I found out that not everybody that gets bred
becomes one of us.
	"Actually, it wasn't too bad," Tony said.  "If I was worn out, they
tended to take care of each other."
	"Still doesn't explain why Gabe and Sal look so much alike."
	"What can I say?" I shrugged.  "Just because Mark and I take after
Rick, not all of us do."
	"Speaking of which," Mark said a little too casually.  "Have you
heard from Paul at all?"
	"Not in a long while.  Why?  Have you?"
	He winced and shook his head.
	There was some...well not exactly bad blood between those two, but
there were some hard feelings.
	"Not heard from," Kip corrected darkly, turning to his computer.
	He pulled up an obituary for our older brother dated a few months
ago.
	"Have you heard anything?" I asked quietly after I read it.
	"Just that it's a fake one," Tony answered.  "He's been seen
around, but never anywhere for long."
	"And how do you feel about that?" I asked my youngest brother.
	"I...I don't know," he said softly, looking at his feet.  "I
said...I hurt him when he needed me the most."
	He looked at me, regret clear in his eyes.
	"If you hear from him, could you...would you have him call me?"
	"That's a mighty big if, Mark," I said.  "But I'll do what I can."

	"Well, Grand-père.  Think you can handle both of us?" Gabe asked
after dinner.
	I pulled them close to me, shoving my hands down the back of their
pants.
	"Not like I haven't handled you before," I growled.
	"But it's been way too long," Sal said, licking my bare shoulder.
	"Let's make up for lost time," Gabe said, unbuckling his belt.
	Naked, they were even harder to tell apart.  They grinned at each
other and pulled me to the bedroom.
	"Go ahead and make yourself at home," Mark laughed as he and Kip
stripped Tony.
	They pushed me back on the bed and Gabe ran his tongue up my shaft.
	"Looks like somebody's already been busy," he said.
	"Had to do something while waiting for dinner," I chuckled as Sal
climbed onto the bed with me.
	He swung his leg over my head and I reached up, wrapping my hands
around his hips, pulling him down onto my face.  I tore into his ass while
his brother inhaled my meat, his saliva matting my dense bush.
	Sal lifted himself off my face and turned around.  Gabe held my
dick as Sal worked it up his hole.  Once his brother was firmly impaled,
Gabe took his place on my face.  Sal rode my cock for a good long while,
then he switched with his brother.  Back and forth they went, one on my
dick, one on my face.
	"Okay," grinned the one lifting off my face.  "Which one's which?"
	I pulled him back down, taking a deep whiff of his crack.
	"You're Sal, so Gabe must be the one grinding my cock up his ass,"
I chuckled.
	"You remember," Sal laughed, feeding me his nuts.
	"Let's see what else you remember," Tony said as I felt him pushing
my legs apart.  Sal leaned forward, grabbing my ankles as Tony began nose
his cock into my hole.  My hands were pulled from Sal's hips and filled
with sticky bear meat.
	"You boys know how to make a bear feel welcome," I laughed around
Sal's ass.
	"Well, we'reglad you came," Mark replied.
	"He hasn't yet," Gabe panted.  "But I'm guessing he soon will."

	I wonder if I might have returned home sooner than I ought to have.
But I didn't want to be stuck trying to ride my bike through snow.
	On the plus side, being a papa seemed to have settled Mike down a
bit.  Cliff appeared to have a stabilizing effect on Mike that he really
needed.
	After his change, Cliff ended up one hot blond bear.  Much like
Kip, he didn't resemble his papa all that much.  Of course, Mike doesn't
take after me...much...either.
	On the negative side, they seemed satisfied to stay where they
were.
	By the time the snow began to melt, they were about to drive me
nuts.
	Then the other shoe dropped.
	One evening, my phone rang with an unfamiliar number.
	"Hello?" I said.
	"Hey, Jim.  It's Paul."
	"Oh my God.  What's going on?"
	"Nothing much.  I...I figured it was time for me to start over."
	"Yeah.  I heard about your 'disappearance'."
	"You heard that?" he said in surprise.
	"Yeah.  I was out that way a few months ago.  Wanted Mikey to have
some time alone with his cub."
	"Mikey's a papa?!?" he exclaimed.
	"Yes," I groaned.
	"Well, was going to ask if you wanted some company, but...,"
	"You?"
	"Yeah.  I...I need your help."
	"Anything, bro.  What do you need?"
	"Well, I realized I...don't really know how to do it."
	"Bend him over and shove it in.  Duh," I laughed.
	"I mean making a new identity, you ass," he laughed, then sobered.
"I'm afraid I let Rick take care of all that.  Know there's more to it than
just resettling somewhere like we used to do."
	"You got that right."
	"Think you'd be willing to show me how it's done?"
	"Sure.  Gonna have to show Mikey soon anyway.  When will you be
here?"
	"I figure it'll be a few more months.  Don't know where I want to
settle down again yet."
	"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you again."
	"Same here, bro."

	Plans, as they say, are subject to change.  Turned out, on the way
out here, Paul met somebody.  I have to admit, when he finally showed up at
my door, he was more like the man I remembered than the one he'd been since
Rick died.  When he talked about this guy, he practically glowed.
	From the sound of it, the guy had been through the wringer, but he
was doing his best to stand up to everything life had thrown at him.
	Paul hadn't told him yet, but he was determined to do so when he
got back.
	After giving Mike a pointed glance, I agreed that was probably for
the best.
	It took a couple days to make sure Paul knew what to do, and Mike
as well.  I would have liked him to stay a bit longer, but Paul was anxious
to get back to his guy.
	I thought about him a lot over the next few days.  It's not often
that someone is offered this kind of life.  Most of the time, like with me,
it's a choice between changing someone or letting them die.  Other times,
like Cliff, it's more of an 'oops' moment.  Giving someone a choice
beforehand runs the risk of them running away in terror.  And risking our
secret getting out.  With just anybody, doing what we'd have to do in that
situation would be hard enough.  But...taking care of...someone we'd fallen
in love with....  I just hoped Paul wouldn't have to face that.
	A couple of days after he left, Paul sent me a photo message.  It
was a picture of a painting.  Looking at it was unnerving.  It had Paul arm
in arm with a handsome bearish man.  Above and behind them was a
mustachioed man beside Rick.  Above them all hovered Rick, but this time as
a great bear.
	I immediately called him.  He told me he had found the painting
when he got back there.  Brian was at work, so they hadn't been able to
talk about it much, but Brian didn't seem to know how he knew what Rick
looked like as a human, much less a bear.  He said it came from a dream
he'd had after they'd first met.
	When we're going through the change, we have some pretty weird
dreams, but Paul insisted he hadn't done it yet...or at least he didn't
think so.
	I reminded him of what signs to watch for, with a start realizing
he might not actually know.  He had helped raise me and all the others who
came after me, but he'd never...done it himself.
	I reassured him as well as I could, made more difficult by how
unnerved I was by it myself.  I sat in my chair all day long, staring at
the picture.  The boys went about their business quietly, respecting my
introspection.  I stayed there until late into the night when I finally
slipped into an uneasy sleep.
	I dreamed about Rick.  He was exploring the body of a great, white
furred bear.  The old man turned and looked at me and I awoke with a start.
	"Grandpapa!" I cried.

	It took the better part of the morning to track down someone with
his number.  Since Rick died, he had withdrawn from the world.  The short
note I got after it happened spoke to me of the depth of his grief.  Rick
had been his cub for...God knows how long.  Well, I suppose Grandpapa
should know.
	Went through a lot of, 'So-and-so might know where he is' before I
finally got a solid lead.  My...well, never seen a were-family tree, but
suppose in some way, we'd all have to be 'related' somehow, so supposed
he's my cousin, several times removed.  Roark was up North.  Way up North.
He said Grandpapa was up there, though even he hadn't heard from him in a
while.  But he did have his number.
	When I finally got a hold of him, I don't know why I was surprised
about how much he already knew.  He had always seemed to know what was
going on somehow.  Like that Paul had bred his cub.  Or Brian, as Grandpapa
corrected me.
	Even so, he was obviously taken aback when I sent on the picture of
the painting.
	He wanted to meet this guy, and what's more, wanted me to come with
him.  Listening to the racket the boys were making, I agreed.  I could use
some peace and quiet.
	But as it turned out, I would get some sooner than I had thought.
That very afternoon, Paul called.
	He told me what I'd already knew.  I had a new nephew.  More than
that, Brian had a cabin they would be waiting out his change in and they
wanted to know if Mike would like to rent his city house at least until
they decided what to do with it.
	Mike jumped at the offer, but I suspected an ulterior motive.  When
Paul was here, he had raved about how...wild Brian was in the sack.  Think
Mike wanted a chance to try out his new cousin.
	Had to rent them a travel trailer even though Paul said they
wouldn't need the big stuff and in a few days, they set out.
	It was strange to be alone.  I had expected once Mike moved out I'd
get to enjoy the solitude, but instead, I found myself lonely.  So, by the
time Grandpapa finally showed up, I was ready for some company.
	While we were eating dinner, I confronted him on why he had decided
to visit this particular cub.  When he finally admitted that Brian was
descended from him, the wheels started turning.
	What he said explained at lot.  If, as he said, there were human
families descended from werebears, when one of them changed, might they
take after their ancestor more than their papa?  Or did some cubs resemble
their papas because they both came from the same line?
	But there seemed to be more to this than a regular change.
Grandpapa believed that Brian was already exhibiting some...esoteric
abilities.  Abilities he himself possessed.
	Abilities he himself possessed....
	Not long after the boys left, Paul had called me while Brian was at
work.  He told me that they had gotten jumped coming out of some
restaurant.  Just days after being bred, Brian took a knife to the gut and
healed nearly as quickly as we could.
	As strange as that was, Paul was more unnerved by what had happened
before they had even done it.
	Brian had lost his lover the year before.  Somehow, he had spoken
to Paul through Brian.  Not to frighten him off, but to urge him
to...accept Brian's love.
	Brian held the soul of the one he loved....
	I looked up at Grandpapa, my mouth falling open as another looked
at me through his eyes.

	I couldn't tell him no.  And besides, I wanted to meet this guy.
The more I learned about him, the more curious I became.  Then too,
Grandpapa wanted me there to deflect any recriminations he might get from
Paul.
	But I knew my brother better than that.
	We decided to first stop and see Mike and Cliff before we headed to
where Paul was.  As Grandpapa was...getting to know Cliff, I wondered anew
about what we had discussed.  Cliff didn't look much like Mike.  Did that
mean he was bear stock?  Or was it because he was bred instead of bled?
Did it make a difference?
	Then my attention was captured elsewhere.

	I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting, but the boy....  Okay,
he wasn't that young.  But to me, they all seem to be that way.  He was
about a head shorter than most of us.  He had dark hair, heavily streaked
with silver.  Either he was dark complected or he'd been spending a lot of
time outdoors naked.  Of course, could have been both.
	But he seemed fairly hesitant at first, which was odd compared to
the stories the boys had told us about him.
	Then I noticed the way he tensed every time he glanced at
Grandpapa.  I could practically smell the agitation rolling off of him.
	And that wasn't the only thing his scent seemed to tell me.  If it
wasn't for the fact that I knew he only been bred a couple of months ago, I
would have thought he was nearly there.
	Turned out, I was right.
	A normal change usually takes about four months, give or take.  His
took place in about two.  Now typically, if a cub doesn't eat enough, the
change takes longer.  But this time, it wasn't taking any excuses.  We
continually plied him with food, which he took in varying levels of
tolerance.
	I couldn't really blame him when he'd get irritable.  Actually, he
took it better than I think I would have.
	The next few weeks were hard on all of us.  I'm sure if he was
asked, Brian would say it was hardest on Paul.  I think the rest of us
would agree it was worse for him.
	As I got to know him, I came to like him a great deal.  He usually
left me either impressed or alarmed.  He had a good head on his shoulders,
though he had a mercurial temperament.  One moment, he'd be completely
serious.  The next, he'd get a wicked gleam in his eye and I knew he was
about to pull something.
	I have to admit, it was hard not to envy Paul.  The way Brian
looked at him told me it was more than just the love a cub has for his
papa.
	And then there was his dead lover, Joe.  Grandpapa was right.  He
was a part of Brian.
	Then came the change.
	I think what happened was Brian thought that in order to...be
Paul's, he had to rip Joe from his heart.  And that likely would have
killed him.  Fortunately, Paul's better than that.  He told Brian he could
have them both.
	After that, his physical change seemed almost anticlimactic.  But I
don't think we got enough calories in him.  He made the change, then back,
but it left him so weak he could barely stand.
	As he changed, I...we all felt it.  And I mean all.  Somehow, his
mind reached out, touching weres almost everywhere.  He was able to feel
Mark's anguish over the arguments he'd had with Paul.  So, when he was
recovered enough, I gave Paul Mark's number.
	Paul invited them to come and visit, and hopefully make up.  As we
waited for them to arrive, I got to observe some of his more...esoteric
abilities.  He found he was able to influence others' perceptions, even
inserting false memories into their minds.
	As unnerved as I was at what he could do, I was more concerned by
his...cavalier attitude about it all.  It seemed like a game to him.  Then
I got a good look behind the mask and rethought that impression.
	Then he felt what happened to Gene.  He lost it.  The four of us,
at full bear strength, barely even slowed him down.  But even in his rage,
he did not harm any of us.
	But what he did to those who killed Gene....
	Not saying they didn't deserve it.
	The sick look in his eyes proved he knew it wasn't a game.  But at
the same time, there was the knowledge he might have to do what he had done
again.  And he would do what he had to do.
	As he did when he accepted the spirits of the other changers.  And
that ended up knocking him out for a week.
	It had been a rough month.  I gained a nephew, but lost a brother.
Then gained another nephew.  It reminded me how much family meant to me.  I
decided to stay.
	But I didn't want to impose on Paul and his new cub.  The youngster
offered me space on his property.  And after doing some research, I took
him up on his offer.
	He was able to use some of his...new connections to find someone to
lay the foundation for my new place.  Not our kind, but was interesting to
meet more of the...extended family.  There weren't any other bears in the
area, but there were some pockets of weres around.
	Brian had originally thought he might be able to keep up the
illusion he was still... himself.  But after the added strain of holding
all those...spirits, he decided that something would have to happen to
himself.  He had spent the last couple of months establishing himself as
his own cousin, so he could inherit his own property.
	Between my own experience creating new identities and his ability
to...influence others, I think we had finally worked everything out.
	He and Paul went back to the city to deal with his funeral.  They
asked if I wanted to come along, if for nothing else, to see the boys.  But
my new place was coming along nicely.  They had offered to help, but I took
pride in doing most of the work myself.
	That morning I headed to the build site and got to work.  I had
barely started when a loud crack and a shout broke my concentration.  I
could hear something falling down the bluff overlooking the woods.
	I set out at a good clip and found a young man sprawled among
fallen rocks and broken branches.  His face bore old scars, perhaps old
burn marks, around which, red stubble sprouted.  His eyes fluttered open as
I approached, struggling to focus on me.
	"Rick?" he coughed, blood dribbling from his lips.
	I froze in shock, then answered, unsure if he heard me.
	"Sorry, but no.  My name is Jim."
	His eyes closed as I knelt beside him.  I had picked up a good bit
of first aid over my many years.
	"Looks like a broken arm.  No guessing on that one," I muttered out
loud, glancing at the awkward angle of his leg.  I bent to sniff his
breath, smelling blood.  "Damn.  He may have broken ribs, too.  Think he
must have punctured his lung."
	I sat back, gnawing my lip.  Maybe I should try to get him to a
hospital.  But there may not be time.  Not even sure I could even tell them
how to get here.  And wouldn't answer the questions I had.
	"What choice do I have?" I muttered, pulling out my knife.