Date: Thu, 1 Nov 2012 06:28:52 -0400 (EDT)
From: Pwrlftrbear@aol.com
Subject: Falling Into Forever Chapter 4

	It's sad how proficient one can become with things one would rather
never have to do.  The last few years had left me overly experienced with
planning funerals.  Though planning my own was a horse of a different
color.
	Or bear of a different color, I suppose.
	We had spent the last couple of months establishing myself as my
own...heir.  Took a little... influence and a lot of Excedrin.
	The finale, so to speak, was the 'accident'.  I hated having to
sacrifice my Jeep, but....
	Would have rather done without the visitation, but had to go
through the process.
	I was finishing things up when Paul's phone rang.
	"Hey, Jim," he said while I was checking things off my list.
"What's up?  What?  You're kidding!  I thought you were going to wait a
while.  I know, I know."
	"What?" I asked, looking up.
	"Looks like you're going to have another new cousin," Paul
chuckled.
	"Up there?" I asked in surprise.  "How?"
	"What happened?" Paul asked into the phone.  "He was working on his
house and this guy dropped out of the sky."
	"What?!" I exclaimed.
	"Apparently fell off that big bluff up there."
	"Oy.  Does he want us to stay here for a while longer?" I asked.
	"Do you want us to just stay with Mike and Cliff?" Paul asked.
"Are you sure?  Yeah, it'll still take us a couple more days.  All right.
Seen you then."
	"Well?" I asked as he hung up.
	"He says to just come home when we're done.  Think he wants our
help to finish his place.  Sounds like he's going to need it," he said
uneasily.
	"And what did he say to disturb you so much?" I asked.
	He looked at me in surprise and laughed.
	"I should know better by now," he chuckled, wiping his eyes.
	I looked at him with one brow raised.
	"The guy called him Rick," he said.
	My other eyebrow joined its twin.
	"Do you think he actually knew Rick?" I asked, taken aback.  "I
never knew him 'in the flesh', but even I know Jim looks a lot like him."
	"It's possible," he said, rubbing his chin.
	"So why did he bother telling us if he doesn't want us to stay
away?" I asked, shaking my head.
	"Suppose he didn't want to spring it on you when we got home.  I
think he doesn't want to piss you off," he said.
	I felt my face warm.
	"That only happened once," I muttered, then noticed his struggle to
keep his face straight.  "And I think we have enough ground meat and
vegetables.  Jackass."
	He laughed and reached out to tousle my hair.
	"Actually think it's more that he knows how much you need the
solitude," he said, concern clear in his eyes.
	I winced, but had to agree with him.  Just staying in the city for
the last couple of weeks had been difficult.  As if I didn't have enough
with my...inner guests, add in all the emotions of those people constantly
pressing in on me....
	"Well, I've got to get used to it," I sighed.  "Can't spend my
whole life locked away from everything."
 	"Dunno," he said, pulling me close.  "Might be fun as long as you
were with me."
	"That it might be," I smiled at him.  "And maybe you can lock me up
in a couple of hours.  Don't figure there'll be that many people showing up
for my funeral."

	"Don't think there'll be that many people showing up?" Paul
whispered in my ear a couple of hours later.
	When the visitation started, the parking lot was already almost
full.
	"I'm having a hard time processing it myself," I replied under my
breath.  "I don't understand why so many people are here just because of
me."
	He shook his head and patted my shoulder.
	"Maybe because they know you're something special." he said.
	Unfortunately another acquaintance approached to offer their
condolences, so I had to keep my eyes from rolling.
	I had been just an ordinary guy.
	Hadn't I?
	At that moment a familiar face entered the room.  She was
professionally dressed and visibly distressed.
	"Excuse me a moment," I said to Paul.
	I approached her cautiously.  She was standing before the board
studded with pictures of me, or more accurately, the man I used to be.
	"Ms. Jackson?" I said softly.
	She turned and her red rimmed eyes rose to meet mine.
	"Oh my," she gulped, her hand flying to her mouth.
	"Better than the reaction I usually get," I said with a sad smile.
"I'm Brian's cousin, Brian Galliano."
	I shook her hand and her eyes grew blank for a moment.
	"Yes," she said at last.  "He mentioned you often."
	"All good, I hope," I said, blinking away a moment of dizziness.
Implanting memories does take a lot out of me, but I haven't had to do it
too much this evening.  I think the strain of blocking out the amount of
grief pounding at my mind was more than I had expected.
	"Of course," she said, wiping her teary eyes.
	"Would you sit with me a moment?" I said, needing a chair before I
fell over.  "Or do you need to get back to work."
	"Certainly," she replied as I gestured her to one of the couches at
the front of the room.  "And no, we're closed for the rest of the day."
	"Really?" I said in surprise.  "What for?"
	"What for?" she said wryly, gesturing toward the urn sitting on the
table on the dais.
	Don't think I'll tell her how many cigars we had to smoke to fill
it.  I'd never smoked in my life, but I was beginning to enjoy the
experience.
	"But closing the whole company?  Was that wise?" I said.
	"Well, didn't have much choice," she said with a slight smile.  "So
many people asked for it off, there wouldn't have been enough to keep
things going."
	I glanced up and noticed a growing number of familiar faces.
	"Just to come to my...cousin's funeral?" I gaped.
	"He was a popular boss," she said, dabbing her eyes.  "And a good
friend.  I miss him already."
	She began sobbing and I put my arm around her.
	Okay.  I think now I know why Jim thought this would be a bad idea.
	"Judy?" came a voice.  A tall, slender black man was approaching
us.
	"Brian," she said struggling to regain her composure.  "This is my
husband, Karl."
	I rose to shake his hand.
	"Holy crap," he muttered, looking up at me.
	"Now that's more what I'm used to," I smirked.  "I know this isn't
the appropriate place to talk business," I said, turning back to her.  "But
from what the lawyers have told me, he left everything to me.  And that
includes the company."
	I held up my hand as she stiffened.
	"No, I'm not taking it over.  He chose you to run things and from
what I've heard, you're doing an excellent job."
	She relaxed and returned my smile.
	"Once I know what's really going on, I'll be in touch."
	She reached into her purse and handed me a business card.
	"I look forward to talking with you again," she said.


	"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked when he rejoined me.
	"Would you believe me if I said yes?" he replied.
	I scanned his face for a long moment.  The strain was clear in his
eyes, his brows lowered, creating deep furrows across his forehead.
	"No," I said finally.
	"Then there you go," he sighed, then stiffened.
	I followed his pained gaze to where where a group had just entered
the room.  The silver haired woman and her family paused to look at the
pictures.
	"Mary?" I asked and he nodded slightly.
	I hadn't gotten a good look at her when we had gone to her
brother's funeral a few months ago.  As she approached, I realized she
reminded me of someone, but couldn't figure out who.  Maybe it was just her
brother, Joe.
	When I turned to question my cub, his eyes were unfocused.  I
grabbed his elbow as he began to sway.  He shook his head and blinked down
at me.
	"Later," he whispered before returning his gaze to the standing
family.


	"Wolf," came a voice in my head as I watched Mary looking at the
pictures, reaching out to touch one of the few pictures I had of me and her
brother.  Her son stood behind her, patting her shoulder.
	"Watch it.  That's basically my nephew," I said silently.
	I was surprised to see Charles Jr.  He hadn't attended his uncle's
funeral a few months ago.  Audrey, I could understand.  She still lived
around here, but CJ, as we called him, had moved down South.  And looks
like he brought his family as well.
	"Bears," muttered the voice as a name and face floated up in my
mind.  "I said wolf.  W-O-L-F, not W-O-O-F."
	"What do you mean," I asked, allowing myself to become distracted.
	"I mean I scent my blood on them," Vytautus said.  I focused on his
sharp, swarthy features until his words sank in.
	"Wha...What?" I repeated, feeling myself sway.  Distantly I could
feel a strong grip on my arm.
	"Not on the old man," he continued.  "But the woman and her
children.  And the young ones as well.  I would guess that in the past,
I...dallied with one of their ancestors."
	My mind reeled and I thrust my thoughts aside as I focused on
Paul's worried face.
	I shook my head to clear it and approached Mary.
	"Excuse me, but aren't you Joe's sister?" I asked.
	Mary turned and looked up at me, her hand flying to her mouth as
her eyes widened.
	"I'm sorry.  I seem to keep having that effect on people," I said
with a sad smile.  "Always been told how much I resemble my cousin."
	"That...that's all right," she said.  "Was just a bit of a shock."
	"This has all been," I said.
	"And yes, I'm Mary," she said, and introduced the rest of her
family.  "Have we met before?"
	"Well, I don't know about actually introduced, but I saw you at
Joe's funeral.  My aunt and my mother...well, there was a long
standing...conflict there.  I'm not sure what happened, but I think it had
something to do with how much I looked like my cousin, if you know what I
mean.  Don't know how well you knew my uncle, but...," I said with a
sheepish smile.
	"Not to speak ill of the dead, but so I've heard," she said softly.
	"It was shortly after the accident that I reconnected with him
myself."
	"I don't think I caught your name," she said.
	"Oddly enough, it's Brian, too.  Kind of unimaginative in our
family, I'm afraid.  But I'm Brian Galliano."
	She looked rather taken aback.
	"What's wrong?" I asked, confused.
	"It's nothing," she said.
	"But Mom," her daughter said.  "Isn't that what your family's name
used to be?"

	"I think you need to say something," Paul whispered as the service
began.
	"God," I hissed back.  "I didn't expect anything like this.  I
don't have anything prepared."
	"Just wing it," he urged with a wicked grin.
	"You sure that's a good idea?" I muttered, but nonetheless stepped
up to the podium.
	"Hello," I said to the crowd seated before me, feeling sweat drip
down the back of my neck.  "I just want to say, if my cousin could see all
of you gathered here, he would be astounded and humbled.  He was a good
man, a hard worker, and a loyal friend."
	There was a murmur of agreement in the crowd that made me hide a
smile.
	"That is not to say he was without his flaws, but even there, that
would depend on how you viewed him.
	"He was always willing to help anyone out, but it was nearly
impossible for him to ask for help for himself.  He was used to, I think,
being the one others could lean on, but felt like an imposition if he
needed to lean on anyone else.
	"He was stubborn, but perhaps that is what got him through the
trials life put him through.  It's hard to say how he did it, for he was a
fiercely private person.  Not that I could blame him.  Look at all he had
and all that he lost.
	"It's hard to believe, but it was not long ago that I asked him,
after all he'd been through, how could he have not just...given up, if you
know what I mean.  He gave me one of those looks.  If you knew him at all,
you know what I'm talking about.  And do you know what he told me?"
	I looked into the crowd, amazed to the rapt attention I was being
given.
	"He said, 'I know it sounds stupid, but I feel that as long as I
remember them, a little bit of them lives on with me.  If something
happened to me, who would remember them?'
	"So I want to ask a favor of all of you.  Remember that stubborn,
infuriating, caring man.  And perhaps he will live on within you.  I know I
will.  And I will rest easy in the knowledge that he is now and forever
with those he loves the most."
	I looked up at the ceiling.
	"You suffered so much in this world, cousin.  I hope the next one
brings you all the joy you deserve."
	I reached into my memories for that moment when I realized that Joe
really was still with me, and always would be, with Paul's blessing.  And I
left it flow into the room.  Thankfully with more control than last time,
but still, the sounds of the the crowds' reaction made me stifle a laugh.
	"I think I have my answer," I said, letting a grin spread across my
face.  "Thank you all for coming."


	"Oh my God," I said after the last of the crowd had left.  "You are
something else."
	"Yeah, but we still haven't figured out what, yet," he said.
	Some of the strain was leaving him, but his smile was still pained.
	"Dunno.  You may have missed your calling.  You should have been a
minister."
	"Trying to say I was getting a bit preachy?" he said as he climbed
into his new SUV.
	Wasn't what he really wanted, but it's not like he could fit into a
little VW Bug.
	"Not at all," I assured him.  "It was...uplifting."
	"Well, if you think about it, there are some Biblical parallels,"
he said.
	"Oh?" I asked.
	"Well, I have been 'reborn'.  And we do have the Papa, the Cub, and
the Furry Spirits."
	He grinned slyly at me as I scanned the skies, but there was nary a
cloud.
	"Can't take you anywhere," I groaned.
	"Sure you can.  Take me home."