Date: Wed, 9 May 2012 05:32:28 -0400 (EDT)
From: Pwrlftrbear@aol.com
Subject: Standing On the Edge of Forever 5-8 (Part 2)

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					 			5

	"This is the last one," he said, adding his box to the stack.
	"That's it?" I said, amazing that a life could be contained in a
dozen or so boxes and a few bags.
	"Yeah.  Other than my travel clothes.  You sure you're okay with
all this sitting in your livingroom till I get back?"
	"Well, if I get ambitious, I might try getting them upstairs.  But
on the other hand, I don't know what you want where."
	"It is your house," he began.
	"But I want this to be your home," I said, stepping close to him.
	"My home is where my heart is," he said softly, putting his hand on
my chest.
	We stared into each others eyes for a long moment, then we both
started laughing.
	"God, what cheesy rom-com is that from?" I giggled, wiping my eyes.
	"No idea.  But it was good, right?"
	"Don't know about that."
	"You could come with me," he whispered, holding my chin.
	"You've got family stuff to take care of.  You don't need me
hanging around.  Besides, I gotta work."


	The thought of leaving him made my heart ache, but I knew it wasn't
for long.  There were things I had to get done before I could really settle
down.  I was a little worried about the talk we'd have to have when I got
back.  Was also concerned how he'd feel about me when I got back.  It was
entirely possible he was...well, don't think on the rebound is the right
word, but it'll work.
	But he seemed quite sure of things.  I would have liked to take him
with me, but that might open that can of worms earlier than I'd like.
	I could see how much he wanted to come with me in his eyes, but
also the steely resolve to do what he had to.  I wonder if that was what
what I loved about him.  Well, at least one of the things.
	"I still wish I could have you with me.  I'm betting they're going
want to meet you."  Knowing how we usually are, they'd really have trouble
keeping their hands off of him.
	"Well, maybe we ought to be sure where we're headed before we start
meeting family," he said, that old look of sadness darkening his eyes.  It
was understandable that talking about family still hurt him.


	"I don't have to go right away," he said, interrupting my
introspection.
	"I know, but some time apart might be what we need."
	"Sick of me already?" he said, ducking as I shook my fist at him.
	"I'm just saying, it will give us time to think."
	"So, you can't think with me around?" he said with a grin.
	"All I can think about around you right now is how I want to throw
you on the bed and have my way with you."
	"And there's something wrong with that?" he leered, then took in my
serious expression.  "There's something wrong with that?"
	"If sex is all we want?  Nothing.  Is that what you want?"
	He gave me a half-smile.
	"Sex, I don't usually have trouble finding.  You, however," he
said, touching his finger to my nose, "Make me want more."
	"So, you go see your family, talk it over with them, and see how
you feel when you come back."
	"And what about you?"
	"I know how I feel," I said with a shrug.  "And honestly, it scares
me."
	He looked at me soberly.
	"And why does that scare you?" he asked softly.
	I closed my eyes and swallowed heavily.
	"Because every time I've felt like this about someone, they're
taken away from me."
	He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead.
	"Hey, hey, now.  I'm not going anywhere...well, I am, but I will be
back.  After all, you've got all my stuff."
	I laughed and hugged him back.


	I understood what he meant.  Meeting me had turned his world upside
down.  I hate to admit it, but he did the same thing to me.  Since I lost
Rick, I'd kept things casual.  I think I had been sleeping around to
assuage the pain of losing him, the exact opposite of how he had been
reacting.  He had been shutting everyone out.  But he made me want more
than just a one night stand.  My head knew we had a lot to discuss, but
looking into those big, brown eyes, talking was the last thing I wanted to
do with him.  Maybe he was right about putting a little distance between
us.
	But not right now.
	I so wanted to take him into my arms and soothe away his pain.
Even if I couldn't do the latter, the former I could.  I liked how his head
fit beneath my chin when I held him.  I could feel the tension in his body.
I wondered if his emotions were this apparent to everyone, or if he was
just this transparent with me.


	"Don't worry.  I've got your jockstrap to remind me of you," he
chuckled, pulling down his jeans to show me the waistband.
	I took advantage of his move to stick my hand into his pants,
fondling his sweaty nuts.  I pulled my hand out and brought it to my nose.
I inhaled his scent, feeling my dick harden in my jeans.
	"Ahhh!" I sighed.  "Can't wait to see how it smells when you get
back.  Just do me a favor?"
	"And what would that be?" he said with an amused smile.
	"Wear it when you pick up someone on your trip."
	"What?!?" he exclaimed.
	"Wear it while playing on your trip," I repeated seriously.
	"Wait, you want me to play around on you?" he said, shaking his
head in confusion.
	"I want you to be you.  You told me last night that you've not
exactly been celibate on the road.  That's part of who you are."
	"And you're okay with that?"
	"I'm of the opinion, you don't go into a relationship intending to
change the other person.  You do go in prepared to compromise.  You seem to
be used to a more open relationship than I am, but I'm willing to give it a
go."
	"Are you sure?  I mean, I...."
	I put my finger over his lips.
	"Learning situation.  I cannot, I repeat, cannot, be talked into
something I don't want to do."
	"You really mean it, don't you?" he said in wonder.
	"Who knows?  I might like it," I said, grinning evilly.  "After
all, it works both way."
	"Why?  Is there someone you have your eye on?" he said archly.
	"Just you," I said with a shrug.
	He roared in laughter.
	"You know, that bartender last night said you were something else,"
he said, tipping my chin up.  "And he was right."
	He kissed me tenderly, having a predictable effect on me.
	"Just one thing I have to do before I take off," he whispered in my
ear, groping my crotch.
	He opened my pants and pulled out my cock and balls.
	"Have you always liked it rough?" he asked as he tugged on my dick
and twisted my nuts.
	"Dunno," I gasped.  "Long.  Story."
	He pushed me back and I fell into a chair.
	"Make it quick," he said and sucked me into his mouth.
	"My load or my story?" I snickered, running my hands through his
hair.
	He just chuckled around my head.
	"Well, it started when I was in college.  Was home for spring
break.  I was giving my nephew a horsy back ride when I got worn out and
laid down on my stomach.  He decided to stand on my back and start jumping.
He slipped, stepped on my neck and fell on my head."
	He pulled off my dick and looked up at me, mouth hanging open.
	"Holy fuck!"
	"Well," I said with a grimace, shoving him back down, "Was the
scariest fifteen minutes or so of my life.  Couldn't move or feel anything.
As you can see, got my movement back.  But the feeling...not so much.  This
happened a few years before my first time.  So don't really know if that's
why, but what I think may have happened is my brain rerouted things in my
nervous system.  Somehow things got twisted around so I feel pain as
pleasure, so I get off of on what would bring most guys to their knees."
	He patted my nuts and I groaned.
	"Yeah, that's right.  Or maybe it's just that I don't feel gentle."
	"Can I get a picture?" he said.
	"I suppose," I laughed, "So long as it don't get plastered all over
the net."
	He pulled out his cellphone and clicked a couple of pictures, one
of my face, one of my cock.
	"I'm betting Jim's going to like this," he said checking the
pictures.
	"Who's Jim?" I said.
	"He's my...brother, the one I'm going to see.  Too bad I didn't get
one of Mr. Hyde," he said grinning up at me, sliding his phone back into
its case.
	He sat back, stroking my dick in one hand, undoing his pants with
the other.
	He pulled me to my feet, tapping my balls, sending slime oozing
from the head.
	"Something to remind me what's waiting for me at home," he said,
standing up, smearing my dripping cock head across the pouch and waistband
of the jock.  "And something to send me on my way."
	He dropped to his knees and slapped a load out of my balls.
	"And believe me," he said in my ear, the scent of my cum heavy on
his breath, "I will be back as soon as I can."

								6

	I wiped the sweat from my brow, satisfied with a job well done.
After Paul left, I decided to clear some space for his stuff.  I didn't
know what was in the boxes and bags piled downstairs, but I had to assume
he had clothes.  I went through my closet and dressers, pulling out clothes
I hadn't worn in years, either because they were too small or just not my
taste any more.  Some things I couldn't bear to part with, so they were
boxed up and put up in the attic.
	I paused, wondering if I was overstepping myself.
	"It's not like I'm going through his stuff," I said to myself.
"I'm just making sure he has his own space.  Hell, he might even decide he
wants his own place, at least at first."
	Were we moving too fast?  We had only just met.  He might change
his mind once he gets among his family.  Hell, they might even try to talk
him out of it.
	Sudden worry made me tense.  I took a deep breath and let it out
slowly.
	"If it's going to happen, it's going to happen.  There's no point
in getting all worked up over it," I muttered.
	There was something else bothering me.  I kept getting the
impression there was something he wasn't telling me.  But I couldn't be
sure.  Maybe I was just being paranoid.  After what Joe had... neglected to
tell me, maybe I was being overly sensitive.
	Maybe it was guilt for keeping things from him.
	I hauled the boxes of clothes I was going to get rid of downstairs.
I would probably swing by the resale shop in the morning.
	I wandered into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water and
checked the fridge.  There wasn't much in there.  It was difficult for me
to cook just for myself, so usually ended up just picking something up on
the way home.
	With a sigh, I grabbed a sleeve of crackers and the jar of peanut
butter.  I flopped down on the couch and started flipping through the
channels.  Nothing caught my interest.
	With a sigh, I laid back, staring sightlessly at the wall.  Slowly
I began to focus on the painting in front of me.  It was a landscape, a
wooded scene overlooking a lake.
	That was it!  I could take him to the cabin next weekend.  It might
even be the perfect segue to telling him.
	It had been in my family for a long time.  I remembered going there
every summer when I was a child.  It was one of the few properties that I
had inherited that I had kept.  It was an hour to an hour-and-a-half away
and was very private.  I smiled thinking about what we could do there.  I
had done some major remodeling after I lost my family, but never got a
chance to really enjoy it.
	I hadn't actually been there since Joe had gotten really bad.
That's what I'd do tomorrow.  Get it cleaned up and ready for next weekend.
	I lurched up off the couch, getting excited, now that I had a plan.
I headed upstairs, deciding to take a shower and hit the hay.
	"Maybe I should have washed the sheets," I thought as I was getting
ready for bed.  I rolled over, shoving my face into the pillow he had used,
inhaling deeply.
	"Then again, maybe not."
	I set my phone on the charger and turned the lights off.  I hugged
the pillow, thinking I'd not get any sleep, but again, I was wrong.


	It was hard leaving him, but I wanted to get this over with.  I had
started over before, but this was the first time I'd had to do it without
Rick.  I needed help.
	I drove the evening away, hoping to make some good time before
stopping for the night.  My thoughts whirled, always settling on him.  I'd
had plenty of partners over the years, but none since Rick made me feel
like this.  But I knew I had to tell him the truth.  He'd been so open with
me and it hurt keeping it from him.  How could I tell him?  Could he handle
the truth?
	I had been driving in the darkness for a while when I saw a sign
for a truck stop a couple of miles ahead.  I decided I'd at least stop and
get something to eat.
	I pulled into the parking lot, noticing the number of semis idling
there.  First sign of a good truck stop.  I felt my cock shift in my jock,
knowing another sign.
	"Behave," I said to my crotch.  It, as usual, refused to listen.
	I climbed out of my truck and stretched.  I had been taking it
fairly easy until this past weekend, stopping when I wanted.  This was
probably the longest I'd driven in quite a while.  But I knew I had a
longer trek ahead of me.
	I walked into the ubiquitous trucker diner and slid into a booth.
The waitress sauntered over and took my order.
	As I was waiting for my food, I pulled out my cellphone.  I called
up his number, staring at the picture I had attached to it.  He was smiling
with an amused glint in his eyes.  In my mind, I saw him as he was when I
first saw him, pain and longing burning in his gaze.  How could he have
changed so much in less than a day.  Was it because of me or because of
him?
	I wasn't sure what time he went to bed, so I decided to send him a
text.


	I was in a clearing in a forest.  On the far side of the clearing a
pair of bears...frolicked.  Do bears frolic?  Though what they seemed to be
doing was a little...heavier than frolicking.  They were mating, even
though it was obvious they were both males.  They looked like big
grizzlies, the one on top had fur that seemed redder than the other one.
With a roar, the red one bit down on the shoulder of the darker one, and
began thrusting erratically.  As he pulled out, their shapes began to
change.  The red one became a huge, red headed man with a thick mustache
that grew into his heavy sideburns, leaving his chin bare.  The other
changed into a familiar form.  It was Paul.  The red head stood staring at
me with a twinkle in his emerald eyes, then bent to speak to Paul.
	I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to find Joe standing
beside me.
	"It's all right," he whispered, his thick mustache tickling my ear
like it used to.  "I will always be with you."  I felt his hand on my back,
urging me into the clearing.  The red head looked up at me and winked.  He
gently shoved Paul toward me and we embraced in the middle of the clearing.
	I woke up in bed, painfully hard.  Mr. Hyde had paid me a visit.
	"Damn," I muttered.  "I'm having some fucked up dreams."
	At that moment, my phone chimed.
	"U there?" it said.  It was Paul.
	"I'm up," I texted back, grinning at my pun.
	My phone rang and I answered it.
	"Hi," Paul said.
	"Hi.  What's up?"
	"Not much.  I'm somewhere in Minnesota, I think.  Think I'm going
to try to find a place to spend the night."
	"Just a second.  I think I have something for you."  I leaned over
and flicked on the light.  Squinting, I aimed my phone at my dick.  I
grinned and sent it to him.
	A second later, I heard him laughing into the phone.
	"You said you wanted his picture," I said innocently.
	"You're something else, you know that?" he chuckled.
	"Sure you can handle me?"
	"Dunno.  But I intend to find out."
	I could feel myself blushing.
	"So where are you at?" I asked.
	"Some truck stop.  Figured I'd get something to eat first."
	"Mmmm.  Truckers...." I said.  "Maybe you can get one of them to
let you use their sleeper."
	He laughed.
	"Maybe I will," he said.  "As long as you're sure you're okay with
it."
	"I am.  Have fun.  And when you get back, maybe we'll have some fun
of our own."
	"Woo-hoo!" he exclaimed.
	"Now I gotta see if Mr. Hyde will let me get some sleep.  Got a big
day planned for tomorrow."
	"Oh?  Doing what?"
	"It's a surprise for when you get back.  Now go find yourself a bed
and try to get some sleep, too."
	"Okay.  Brian?  Don't hate me for saying this.  I love you," he
said softly.
	I felt my breath catch in my throat.
	"Why would I hate you for that," I struggled at last.  "I love you,
too."
	My phone chimed and I opened what he had sent me.
	"You're a dork," I laughed, looking at the picture he had sent of
himself grinning like an idiot.
	"Yeah, but I'm your dork.  And don't you forget it.  I will talk to
you in the morning.  I'll try not to call too early."
	"Don't worry.  Contrary to what you've seen, I'm usually up early.
Talk to you then."
	We hung up and I laid there, cock throbbing.  I tried thinking of
anything else, but every time I almost succeeded, those three little words
echoed in my ears and I'd start leaking all over again.
	Finally, I grabbed the remote.
	"If Fox News don't make this go away, nothing will," I said.


	When he didn't respond when I told him I loved him, I cursed
myself.  Then when he replied, obviously sincerely, my heart swelled.
	After we hung up, I sat smiling at his picture.
	"They'll let just about anything in here, won't they?" came a voice
from behind me.
	I looked up, my glare turning into a surprised grin.
	"Tucker?" I cried, looking up at the big trucker standing next to
my booth.
	I stood and grasped his hand.  He pulled me into a big bear hug,
while his younger partner watched in amusement.
	"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.
	"We were just on the road and decided to stop for the night.  Was
going to get some food when I caught your scent.  Been a while, but I
recognized it."
	"I was just about to eat, myself.  Want to join me?" I said,
smiling at the youngster.
	"This is my new cub, Josh.  Josh, Paul's a...cousin of ours."
	Josh smiled and nodded in understanding and they slid into the
booth across from me.
	"So what are you doing here?" Tucker asked.
	"Well, been over ten years since Rick died.  People were beginning
to...question things.  Knew it was time to move on."
	"So where you headed?"
	"Heading out to see Jim.  He may be my 'little brother', but he's
got more experience with creating a new identity than I do.  Rick used to
handle most of that, and besides, it's not as easy as it used to be."
	Tucker laughed and reached across to slap my shoulder.
	"You're preaching to the choir, bud.  Just got Josh set up with his
first one," he chuckled, nudging his cub.
	"Mmmm.  Fresh meat," I grinned at the cub and was pleased when he
winked back.
	"You're welcome to join us tonight," he said, glancing at his bear.
	"Well, was just about to try to find a place to get some sleep," I
said.
	"Though not sure how much sleep you'd get with us," Tucker leered.
	The waitress brought our food and the only sounds for a while were
forks and knives on plates.
	"So thought about where you want to settle down?" Tucker asked
after we'd finished eating.
	"Well, after I get my new ID, I'm heading back to Northern
Illinois."
	"Oh?" he said, raising one thick eyebrow.
	"Yeah.  I've met somebody."
	"That who you were talking to?"
	"Yeah, just met him, actually.  It sounds stupid, but do you
believe in love at first sight?"
	"Yes," Josh said immediately.
	Tucker chuckled.
	"He said love at first sight, not lust at first sight."
	Josh elbowed him in the ribs.
	I pulled up the picture of his face and slid the phone across the
table.
	"Woof!" Tucker grunted, passing it to his cub.
	Josh shot me a sly glance and flicked to the next picture.
	"Mmmm," he said with an evil grin, flipping to the next.  "Okay,
which is him?"
	"Actually, both," I chuckled.  "Weirdest thing I've ever seen.
It's like two different dicks."
	"Like cheating on your partner with your partner," Tucker said,
looking over his cub's shoulder, and we all laughed.
	"Does he know?" he asked, suddenly serious.
	I was silent for a long moment.
	"Not yet," I said eventually.
	Tucker grunted.
	"And when are you going to tell him?"
	"I...I don't know," I said, looking down into my coffee.
	"Well, I can only speak for me," Josh said.  "Tuck made me think
about it first.  Gave me a whole month and...well, I think...no, I know I
made the right decision."
	"Just think it's better then, oops, oh, your life's going to be
turned upside down.  Sorry," Tucker said, his hand falling under the table.
"Even if you're careful, accidents happen."
	"Of course, you could just screw around with our own kind," Josh
said with a wink.
	"We've got room if you want to bunk in with us," Tucker leered.
"If you'd rather just watch, that's okay, too."
	"Well, he told me to have fun on my trip," I said with a grin.
	"Does he know what you mean by fun?" Josh asked.
	"Yeah.  He told me in no uncertain terms to get laid."
	"Huh," Tucker grunted, then yawned widely.
	"Conversation boring you?" I chuckled.
	"Turning me on, actually," he grinned.  "Just tired of talking.
Want to get fucking."
	"God, is he always this horny?" I laughed, looking at Josh.
	"You mean we all aren't?" he said, tilting his head to the side.
	"You may have a point."
	We paid our bills and went out into the lot.  I followed them to a
white semi with a bear logo on the side.
	"Never would have guessed this was yours," I chuckled.
	We climbed into the cab and Tucker locked the doors.  Behind the
seats was a nice sized sleeper. He pulled the curtains shut.
	"Not enough room for us all to get really comfortable," he said,
starting to strip.  "But enough for the old fashioned way."
	By the time I got my boots and jeans off, they were naked.  Josh
had sucked his papa bear into his mouth, taking it deep with the ease of
long practice.  I peeled my shirt off, leaving the jock on.
	"What's this?" Tucker chuckled, snapping the waistband.
	"He wanted me to have it.  Said it was something to remember him
by.  Don't think he'd realized I wasn't going to let him get away when he
gave it to me.  He told me to take it anyway and wear it while I fool
around.  Wants it for when I get back."  The thought of him caused my cock
to push against the thin pouch.  "He's...something else."
	Josh reached over, pulling the jock aside, letting my meat and nuts
fall out.
	"I can see that," Tucker grinned as Josh pulled off his cock and
went down on mine.  I've got a couple inches on Tucker, but Josh was well
able to handle me.  Tucker leaned over and snagged a cigar and lit it up,
offering me a hit.  He pulled me into a kiss, practically sucking the smoke
out of my lungs.
	"Sounds like you really like this guy.  Tell me about him," he
murmured into my beard.
	It felt good having someone who could really understand my
situation.
	"Well, he's been through a lot," I said, deciding to keep it short.
"In a way, he's trying to start over, too.  He's lost everything in his
life that really matters.  Friends.  Family.  Lover.  He's been alone for a
long time and was shy to start out.  But, damn, when his came out of his
shell, it was incredible.  He's part bear, part pig."
	Tucker chuckled, taking the cigar from my hand.  I ran my hands
through his thick fur, tugging at his nipple.
	"He likes it...more than a little rough.  Hate to say it, but it
kinda turned me on."
	"What's wrong with that?" Josh said, drool and pre-cum running into
his beard.
	"Afraid of getting carried away and really hurting him.  Remember,
he couldn't recover like we could.  He said it'd been about a
year-and-a-half since he'd had sex, over a decade since he took it up the
ass, but damn," I said with a shudder, pre-cum oozing out of my slit.  Josh
swooped in to lick it up.  I imagined it was Brian's tongue.
	"Once he opened up, he blew his load down my throat, then filled my
ass, twice.  Then he took me all the way up his ass, and damned, but he
blew again."
	"You sure he's not one of us," Tucker chuckled, watching Josh
switching back and forth between dicks.
	"I'm sure," I began.  "I know this sounds weird, but he seems to
have a lot of our traits, from the sound of it.  He's a big, hairy guy.  He
always seems to be horned up.  And from what he's said, he's recovered from
an injury that a 'normal' guy probably wouldn't have survived."
	"Well, I'm of the opinion that it takes a certain type of guy to
make the change.  A 'normal' guy might Survive it, but actually dealing
with it," he said, shaking his head.  "Heard some rumors, though...."
	"As much as I'm enjoying the conversation, I really need to get
fucked," Josh said, pulling on our dicks.
	"Well, Paul?  Want to plow his ass, or just watch?  I will tell you
his hole is something else."
	"Don't want to turn down such an inviting offer," I grinned as Josh
laid back, lifting his legs, exposing his hole.
	I crawled between his legs, rubbing my leaking head along his
crack.  I pressed into his hole and he practically sucked me in.  I began
pounding him, hard, and he was loving it.
	"Yeah, that's hot," Tucker said in my ear.  He reached around,
playing with my tits while his thick cock humped my crack.  I bent, giving
him an open invitation.  He aimed his dick at its target and punched into
me.  My dick was driven deeper into Josh's ass.
	"Paulie sandwich," I groaned.  "My favorite."
	"Whole lotta meat in this sandwich," Tucker growled.
	"Keep that up and it'll have lots of special sauce, too," Josh
gasped.
	We got a good rhythm going, but I knew it couldn't last.  I felt
Tucker sinking his teeth into my back as he blasted his load up my ass.
Josh frantically pulled at his dick, spraying his load between us, his
contracting hole bringing me off.
	Tucker pulled out of my ass and I rolled off Josh.  Tucker ran his
hands through our fur, smearing the cum across our bellies.  He brought his
hands to our face and we licked them clean.  Then he cleaned us up with his
tongue.
	I ended up spending the night snuggled between the bear and his
cub.

									7

	I was up before the sun was even thinking about rising.  I tossed
some grubby clothes into an old gym bag, grabbed my work clothes, laptop
and chargers and headed out.  I made a quick stop at the store, picking up
some supplies, just the basics.  Some food, some cleaning stuff, every box
of Magnums I could get my hands on.
	The cashier scanned the rubbers, then picked up the can of
shortening.  He raised a brow with a slight smile.  I just shrugged.  He
handed me my change with a wink.  Probably made his day.
	I got out of the city and drove for a little over an hour.  The sun
peeked over the horizon, lighting the woods.  I reached the turn off and
drove up to the cabin.
	It made me smile just being here.  There were some good memories
here.  And hopefully there will be some more.
	I tapped the guardian on the nose and walked up on the porch,
kicking at the accumulation of leaves.
	I unlocked the door and went in.
	I called it a cabin, but it had been my family's summer home.
Nearly a year and a half of neglect left me a lot of work to do.  I had
barely started cleaning when my phone rang.
	"Morning," Paul said.
	"Morning.  Have any fun last night?"
	He chuckled.
	"Well, right after I hung up with you, one of my...old friends
showed up.  He's a trucker and just happened to be there.  What are the
chances?"
	"With as much as you claim to have slept around, pretty likely," I
laughed.
	"I'm going to get you for that," he growled with a grin in his
voice.
	"So did you get any sleep?"
	"Eventually.  Got a chance to try out his new cub," he chuckled.
	"How was he?"
	"Good.  But I think I like what I've got better."
	I felt my face warm with pleasure.
	"You're blushing, aren't you?" he chuckled.
	I roared with laughter.
	"Answer enough," he said.  "So what you up to today."
	"Just thought I'd do some cleaning," I said evasively.  "Decided
last night I should have changed the sheets.  Every time I'd roll over,
clouds of dried cum would billow up."
	"You're too funny, you know that?"
	"Well, sometimes.  So what you doing?"
	"Getting ready to hit the road again.  Hoping to make it there
tonight."
	"You call them yet?"
	"Oh, crap, no."
	"Well, call them and let them know you're on the way.  Just let me
know when you get there."
	"Will do.  Miss you."
	"Aim better next time, then," I said, kissing into the phone.
	I opened up the windows, letting in some fresh air.  I checked the
water heater and the furnace.  Everything seemed to be working fine.  I
turned the fridge down and stored the perishables.
	"Need to ask what he likes to drink," I said, making a mental note.
He had been drinking beer at the bar, but they didn't have that big of a
selection.  I had some ideas, but will have to see if I can get it in time.
	I was surprised it only took me a couple of hours to clean up the
whole place.  It was solidly built, so there was less dust then I had
expected.  Soon, I was left with only one room to do.
	I opened the door, watching the dust dance in the sun shining
through the skylights.  I brushed a hand along a stack of canvases.
Colored swirls of ground chalk coated the floor, the faint scent of paint
thinner lingered in the air.
	I sat down at the drafting table with a sketch pad, graphite stick
scratching rapidly across the page.
	It had been so long since I did this.  After Joe died, it was like
part of me had died with him.  But now I felt it unfurling within me.  I
ripped the page out, beginning another drawing.  Again and again I repeated
the process, until I was satisfied.  I sorted through the sketches, finding
the ones I liked, piecing them together the way I wanted.  I taped the
sheets together and stuck them to the desk.  I dropped the front down, the
loose papers fluttering to the floor.  I pulled an easel next to the desk,
selecting a canvass.  I grabbed a stick of vine charcoal, staring at my
sketches, transferring it to the canvas.
	I pulled the table holding my pallet towards me, squatting down,
opening drawers, pulling out tubes of paint, tossing the ones I wanted on
the pallet.  I rolled a stool beside me, placing a cup of brushes and
palette knives on it.  I reached into the nearby cabinet and snagged the
thinner and linseed oil.  I squeezed out dollops of paint and began.


	About noon, I decided to give Jim a call.
	"Hello?" came an unfamiliar voice.
	"Uh...Hi.  Is James there?"
	"Sure.  Just a sec."
	I heard the phone laid down and waited.
	"Hello?"
	"Hey, Jim.  It's Paul."
	"Hey!  How's it going?"
	"Doing good.  I'm hoping to be there sometime tonight."
	"Wow!  I thought you were taking your time."
	"Yeah, well, I was.  But I think I've found a place to settle
down."
	"Uh-oh," he chuckled "Did you at least ask his name?"
	We both laughed.
	"Yeah.  His name's Brian.  I'll tell you all about him when I get
there.  Oh, by the way, Tucker and his new cub said to say hi."
	"Damn.  When did you see him?"
	"Spent the night with them last night."
	"Oh?  Wonder what Brian would think about that," he said archly.
	"Sounded like he was okay with it when I told him.  He told me to
have fun on my trip."
	"Great," he said, a leer in his voice.  "I haven't had a go at your
ass in years.  Been looking forward to it."
	I laughed and continued on.


	I hadn't been to Jim's place before, or more accurately his latest
place.  It was a couple of hours out of Seattle, in the Pacific
Northwest. Some beautiful country out there.  Even this far north,
everything was green and warm.  I could certainly see why he decided to
settle here.
	I pulled up to his house.  It was a nice place, deep in the woods.
There were a couple of vehicles parked out front.  I pulled in between two
of them and grabbed my phone, hoping it wasn't too late to give Brian a
call.
	It rang a few times before he answered
	"Hello?" he said, sounding a little groggy.


	My phone ringing brought me around.
	"Hello?" I said, realizing the sun had set at some point.
	"Did I wake you?" Paul said.
	"No.  No.  I was just finishing something up.  What's going on?"
	"Just wanted to let you know I made it to my brother's place."
	"You made good time," I said, looking at my watch.  "Oh, crap!"
	"What's wrong?"
	"I...just hadn't realized what time it was," I said, stifling a
yawn.
	"Yeah, I am in another time zone.  I just pulled up to Jimmy's and
I wanted to be sure to say good night.  What time are you going to be up in
the morning?"
	"Early.  I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about, so just give me a
call when you can."
	"Well, you get some sleep.  'Cause you're not likely to get much
when I get back," he said, the leer clear in his voice.
	"Me?  Just make sure you have enough left over for me."
	"I've got plenty for you.  Twelve inches worth."
	We shared a laugh.
	"Well, just wanted you to know I'm here.  I will talk to you some
time tomorrow."
	"Okay.  Love you."
	"Love you, too."
	I hung up and looked at what I had painted.  At the bottom were
Paul and me, arm in arm, me on the left, Paul on the right.  Behind and
above us were two men.  Joe had his right hand on my shoulder, the red
headed man from my dream had his left hand on Paul's.  Above us all, loomed
the great, reddish bear, standing upright, paws spread out above us as if
in benediction.  With a satisfied sigh, I turned off the light and closed
the door.
	"Maybe now that I've got that out, I'll be able to sleep," I
muttered, shuffling to the master bedroom.  I pulled the clock towards me,
groaning as I looked at the time.  I set the alarm for two hours earlier
than normal.
	"Who's bright idea was it to come out here?" I grumbled.  "Oh,
yeah. Mine."

								8

	I grabbed my bag and walked up to the porch.  I knocked on the door
and it was opened by a big red-headed bear.  He had a graying dark red
beard and flat top.
	"'Bout time.  Was beginning to wonder if you got lost between the
truck and the door."
	"No," I laughed.  "Just wanted to let Brian know I made it here in
one piece."
	"Well, come on in," he said and pull me into and embrace, his lips
warm against mine.
	"You got company?  Or is Mikey and his new cub still here?" I asked
as we parted.  I followed him into the livingroom.
	"They're still here," he said with a mock groan.
	"Let me guess.  They're still fucking like rabbits?" I laughed.
"Actually glad he's still here.  Had a great time when you came out East to
help me out after Rick died."
	"Well, he's been busy," Jim chuckled, dropping onto the leather
couch.  I dropped my bag and settled next to him.  "Found out that being a
papa's not all fun and games."
	"You sure about that?" I chuckled.
	"Well, can be.  They're in bed right now.  Might even be sleeping,"
he winked.  "I was waiting up for you."
	He reached over, rubbing the back of my neck.
	"Figured we could start on your new ID in the morning."
	"That'd be great," I said.  "I'm anxious to get back."
	He chuckled knowingly.  He pulled me close.  I inhaled his rich,
familiar scent, man musk with a hint of cigar smoke.
	"So, tell me more about this guy."
	"Well, we just met on Friday.  Was at this little bar for their
inaugural 'Bear Night," I began, feeling his chest vibrate as he laughed.
	"Let me guess, you were all over each other," he smirked.
	"No," I said and he looked at me in surprise.  "Don't get me
wrong," I smiled.  "I wanted to, but...well, he was in a lot of pain.  He's
had a rough few years.  He...he lost his entire family, then last year, his
partner died."
	We sat in silence for a while, then he kissed the top of my head.
	"And you could relate to that," he said softly.
	"Yeah, but I had you all there for me.  He was, for all intents and
purposes, all alone, struggling with it all.  God, Jim, just the pain in
his eyes," I shook my head, my beard rubbing against his flannel shirt, "I
couldn't help myself."
	"Well, we are predators," he pointed out.  "That kind of thing does
tend to draw us."
	"I just wanted to hold him, make the pain go away."
	"I bet you did," he said with a leer.
	"I wanted him so bad," I said and was quiet for a while.  "I
haven't wanted someone like that since Rick."
	He rubbed my shoulder.
	"Are you sure?" he asked gently.
	"Yes," I said firmly.
	"Have you told him yet?"
	"I'm going to when I get back," I said with certainty.
	"He did eventually ask me back to his place," I continued.  "We sat
and talked for a long time and we ended up in bed."
	I could hear Jim chuckle knowingly.
	"No, we just went to sleep.  At least at first.  I don't really
know what happened, but in the middle of the night...."
	"You couldn't help yourself?" he said, grabbing my crotch.  Just
thinking about him had got me hard.
	"Actually," I chuckled, "He was the aggressor.  And, damn," I said,
feeling myself begin to leak, "I wanted him so bad."
	I pulled out my phone and called up his picture.
	Jim growled.
	"I can see why."
	"Look at the next two pictures," I said.
	He flipped to them, back and forth.
	"Okay, which one?" he said.
	"They're both him.  I don't really understand it, but his
dick's...got a split personality.  It's hard to believe, but I've seen it
myself."
	"Hmmm," he said, not seeming to notice the tent in his sweats.
	"Yeah, he has the same effect on me," I laughed.  "And that's just
his picture."
	I reached over and grabbed his dick, feeling the heat of it through
the thin material.
	"What ever would he think?" he grinned down at me.
	"Well, he said it was okay."
	"Really?" he said archly.
	"He said he knew what I'm like and he wasn't going to try to change
me."
	"Even if you want to change him," Jim said, suddenly serious.
	I grew still and thought carefully before I answered.
	"Not until I tell him," I said at last.  "I want him to know what
he might be getting himself in for."
	"And what if it scares him away?" he said softly.
	"I...I don't know."
	"Well, get there when when you get there.  Think it's a good idea,"
he said, his torso shaking beneath my head.  "You know our 'family' tends
to be more accidental.  Don't know if Rick ever changed anyone the way
you're considering.  But from the sounds of it, if he chooses to join us,
he'll make the transition well.  I often thought that it takes a special
kind of man to become the bear.  Sometimes think there might be a genetic
predisposition to it.
	"Well," he said, stretching, "I think I'm gonna head to bed.  Care
to join me?"
	"Thought you'd never ask," I responded.


	"Nice jock," he said as we were stripping.
	"Thanks," I chuckled.  "It's Brian's.  Asked me to wear it out
here."
	"Not sure it'd survive if you leave it on and go full bear."
	"I know, I know.  Just think he's more than a little raunchy," I
grinned.
	"Give it here," he said.  I peeled it off and tossed it to him.  He
caught it and brought it to his nose.
	"Aah," he sighed.  "I certainly understand where he's coming from.
Always had a thing for jocks myself.  Hate to disappoint him," he said and
rubbed it around his heavy nuts, letting it soak up the musky, intimate
scent of him.
	He dropped it to the floor, and reached for me, the fur already
sprouting on his face.
	"Been a long time since I really let the bear out," I said, feeling
my muscles shifting along with him.
	"Let's make it count, then."