Date: Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:11:07 -0400 From: Juan Macias Subject: Thanks to Chuck (Part 1) DO NOT READ UNLESS OVER THE AGE OF 18. THIS CONTENT MAY BE FOUND OFFENSIVE, AND IT IS ILLEGAL IN SOME PARTS OF THE WORLD.SO UNLESS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE TOPIC TALKED ABOUT IN THIS STORY, SEXUAL GAY STORIES, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING. I TAKE NO RESPONSABILITY IN THE CONSEQUENCES CAUSED BY READING THIS DOCUMENT, GOOD OR BAD, AND ASK THAT THIS DOCUMENT IS NOT COPIED IN PART OR WHOLE WITHOUT PERMISSION. DUE TO SOME RECENT EVENTS IN MY LIFE, I, FOR ONCE, AM WRITING A STORY THAT HAS MORE ROMANCE, IS LONGER AND MORE DETAILED. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT ARE MORE INTO THE SEX SCENES, I RECOMEND THAT YOU READ A DIFFERENT STORY, AS YOU WILL NOT FIND MUCH "ACTION" IN THIS TALE. It seemed like another boring day in work of looking at over 25 screens for more than 11 hours, typical day I guess, the kind of day that made me want to quit and move somewhere more calm and get a new job that wasn't as demanding. For some reason, we were called to the Main Meeting Hall. We weren't aware of anything too important that required the whole staff to be present, but usually these things are Important. I usually have to stay in the control room for these meetings, and watch through the monitors, but since the store wasn't open yet, I asked the manager if I could attend the meeting and get caught up on the company's goals, issues, etc. Being completely honest, it was just a lie, but telling it was a thousand times better than "watching" the meeting in a very cold room with no people inside but me. I was pretty cold that morning, so I made an effort to agitate myself and warm up a little. Before I go on, let me tell you a bit about the life of Joey, Joey being me... My name is Joey, I'm 22 years old and I work in the Central office of a Technology Equipment Company, In the Security Department, but I guess you could have figured that out somehow. I'm not the kind of guy you would call interesting, or talented, not even the active and outgoing type. I have short black hair with blonde tips, and hazel green eyes. I'm average height and have a very slim and athletic body. I am good at some things, but not much really. I like to socialize a lot, but I've been told that I try too much, and it sometimes annoys or scares people away. I do like to go to... the movies, maybe? Or maybe I grab something at StarBucks, or Taco bell. I do want to improve my life quite a bit, but work is hard on me, especially because I have to work almost 12 hours a day... but the salary is great! I don't get much free time, so I'm trying to change jobs for a better lifestyle. I hope. Well, not much else to say, but I will update you as we go along. For now, let's get back to my story. I was the last one to get to the Meeting Hall, because I had to leave the alarms and all of the security cameras and systems prepared, which took about 10 minutes. I rushed down and quickly almost tripping several times. I did war up however, and was just in time. When I walked in, I saw some rather odd decorations. And I say odd because they weren't very common. Nothing connected to a birthday or anything like that. But the usual streamers and balloons were there. I tried to slow down my pulse, since I kind of overdid myself on my workout. Mr. Williams, the boss, said "Today, we are celebrating Niki's retirement. Niki, our secretary of the sales department, was very happy to work here for over 15 years, but her body is getting tired of work, and is now retiring and moving to Canada. Congratulations Niki and we wish you the best at Canada." We all clapped and said our goodbyes. Mr. Williams was a great guy, do not get me wrong, but he needed to be more discrete. For example, talking about Niki's body getting tireed. Niki was only 62 or so, and he made it seem like she was 80 and she could barely lift a binder. He wasn't good at setting a mood, let's just leave it at that. "Before you go", said the boss, "I want to introduce you to our new secretary, Chuck." I quickly turned to see an average size guy standing there, saying hello to everybody. I Felt a nice and warm feeling by just looking at him and waving hello. He was About 3 inches taller than me, he had black, average length hair, or a little longer than average, stretching through about half of his slightly tanned cheeks. He was a bit more built then me, but I always focused more on muscle toning when I did get to work out, so I would probably ask him to arm wrestle me some other time. I really wanted to say hello and introduce myself and to get to know him, he did seem like a kind person, but a person that can also be fun if he wants to be. I didn't think twice about saying hello, but as I walked over, I tripped on something, not really notice what it was or that it was there in the first place, and fell to my knees. I could feel the hot red blood pumping on my face and cheeks as I heard some giggles and some cries of concern. Suddenly, a hand reached out to help me. "I'm Chuck, what's your name?" I took a firm grip and pulled myself up, hoping he wouldn't fall on me, he seemed heavy somehow. "I'm Joey, nice too meet you, I just wish the whole "scene" just now wasn't the way we met". We both smiled and talked for a bit. We talked only on a professional level, not really concerned about each other's social or personal lives. It was getting a bit close to opening time, so we had to wrap the conversation up, sadly, since it was getting interesting. I felt really comfortable around Chuck, and oddly enough, I felt kind of "warm" when I was in his presence. It's hard to explain the feeling, and it was kind of weird too. I just completely forgot about it and rushed back upstairs, so that I could disarm the security system and everyone could come and go as they usually did. As usual, I sat there for hours at a time, staring at all the black and white, and slightly static screens. Drinking coffee was a big thing for me, both to keep warm and to avoid falling asleep. But today wasn't as horrible as it could have been. Throughout the day, I saw Chuck taking a tour of the upstairs offices, and learning what is where. At some point, they told him to wander around and get to know some of the other employees, especially the ones he'd be working me. I sat back and looked at the ceiling, thinking about what to do on the weekend. I almost fell asleep a couple times, like 2 or 3. I saw some suspicious customers on the cameras, they were a bit sneaky and "grabby" and "touchy", as I referred to them. After a while, they left, and I kept surveying each screen carefully. I was surprised by Chuck as he started waving at a camera obnoxiously, kind of like a cute little 5 year old does to get attention. I laughed, later telling him he looked extremely ridiculous. He walked up to the security room, using the tour as an excuse. We both laughed and chatted for a bit. "So, what are your major interests, skills, and stuff like that?" he asked me. He spoke so smoothly and freely, and in a unique way. I felt like I was starting to admire and look up to him somehow. "I like... umm... soccer?" I muttered. Chuck giggled softly. "Well, what does Mr. Smart-ass like?" I chuckled. He was at first a bit startled, but then let out a loud giggle or two. We smiled at each other, and kind of looked into each other's eyes for a second or two. "Ohhh, right! I like... a lot of things really. Sports, scary movies, comedy. All sorts of things." I felt we hit off to a great start and would become good friends. We chatted of a bit more, but after a while, he said he actually decided to meet his boss, and all of the people he interacted with daily. I had that sudden warm feeling again. I ignored it and got back to work. After what seemed like forever, it was lunch break. I hate my job because for lunch break, I have to have someone come up and bring me lunch, which kind of made me feel like crap. A couple of minutes later, Chuck came rushing in. "Hey Buddy, what do ya want for lunch?" Though I was slow at realizing it, I remembered that Niki always brought me something to eat from where-ever she went. "Ever try Antonio's? It's the Italian place across the street." He replied with a simple "no". Here, Please get me a Teriyaki Chicken Sub, a girl named Tina should be there, tell here that I said I want "the usual". And to inform you, lunch is on me today. Anything you want for lunch is on me." He thought about it and said " I'm gonna get the same thing you are, but I can't let you pay. It's on ME today." Before I could say anything, he was out the door and in the elevator. I had that feeling of guilt, but I knew one day I'd get to return the favor. I watched Chuck go in the elevator, and out the store afterwards. Starving to death, I took a peek out the corridor every five minutes to see if he would be here soon. I took a glance at the cameras, but no Chuck. A couple of minutes later, I saw Chuck in the elevator. I quickly looked away because he was "fixing a situation" in his pants. For some reason, I felt the need to look back and watch him now shoving his whole arm into his pants. At least he seemed to have my lunch. He walked in, and I acted surprised as best as I possibly could. "Sorry I took so long, apparently there's a good special today and everyone is making a huge line over there. But here's what you wanted" I could smell some delicious aroma hovering through the room. "Thank you so much, and I appreciate you paying for it." I felt a little nauseous. I've had all of these weird feelings since I first saw Chuck, and I didn't know what they meant. I hoped to the lord that he would not notice my awkward expressions. "Well, I gotta get downstairs, I have work to do, and it's only the beginning" he winked at me, and I felt blood rushing to my face. I smiled a smile that I really meant. As I expected, Chuck stopped at least 5 times before the workday was over. The last time he stopped by, he seemed a bit cheery. "Hey Joey, wanna do something after work? Hit the bars or something like that?" Though I could really use a drink, I knew that I would probably end up drunk, and I had to work late today to make sure that everything was safe and in place, and that on Monday, everything in here looked exactly like before I left. "Well if drinking's the problem, why not let me give you a ride? I'll drive ya home." I knew things could get out of hand, but with all the work lately, I really could use a drink. "I take no responsibility in any of the actions I might take. I get out in 30 minutes, wanna go right after work?" I said, suddenly feeling butterflies in my stomach. I didn't understand what all these weird things happening to me were, I figured maybe some Pepto-Bismol would do the trick. "Nah, I have to ho to the gym. How about I go get you at 8? Give me your number and I'll call you when I'm heading out so you can tell me how to get to your place." He said a bit too fast. I agreed and got back to work. The extremely nice yet annoying weird discomforts would not go away, even after he left, so I just completely disassociated him from all of it. I though about the rest of my day as it went by. If I can leave at 6, I could probably get home, have a snack, shower, and be ready by 7:30. The rest of the day went smoothly, no more Chuck. I figured since it's his first day, he might have gone home early, since he's not technically working yet. I got home with a lot of anticipation. I said hello to Oscar, my Schnauzer, gave him a quick pat, served him some food and water. The phone rang, a number I didn't recognize. "Hello?" I said, calling out to the person on the other side. "Hey Joey, I can't really talk right now, which really contradicts my call, but can you text me your address at this number?" He said, sounding a bit out of breath. "Ok I usually don't text message, so I might be a bit slow. I'll do that now, and then you can just call me when you're here, ok?" "OK sounds great bud, see ya later, don't forget the text." The call ended as soon as he was done. I put my phone to charge for a bit and literally ran into the shower. Hot steamy water ran down my sides and abs. It slid slowly through my legs and to the floor. I shaved my pubes, which were getting a little too long, and causing uncomfortable itching. I soaped my whole body and put on some shampoo. I let some even hotter water wash down the soap and shampoo. I dried myself thoroughly and checked my face in the mirror. Not a pimple, that's good. I got dressed and got back to the bathroom. I put on some gel and spent 10 minutes trying to make it look PERFECT. I'm not a perfectionist, but tonight was different, and I didn't know why. I had a veggie and chicken sub, and some raspberry iced tea. I looked at the clock, 10 to 8. I looked at myself in the mirror once more, to make sure that I looked ok. My cell phone rang, a number I had never seen before shod on the caller I.D. "Hello?" I answered. "Hey Joey, get your ass down here so we can go party or something" He said, sounding like he had a few already. I hung up and headed out. "Right on schedule, driver. And that's a pretty sweet ride too" I grinned at Chuck as I got in his car. "Ok, you got options. If you really feel like you can't be a big boy in public, we can get a few beers and go to my place, or we can go to a bar if you're up for it." He said, sounding very serious. At this point, I just wanted some booze and nobody to piss me off. "I'll take the beer. Is there anything good on TV?" I said, a bit anxious. "How about some football? Or perhaps some soccer?" he grinned back at me. I don't know exactly what was decided, but I was ok with it. Chuck seemed really cool; I knew I was in good company. We arrived at his place, it seemed a lot like mine, but a bit bigger, maybe even an extra room. I sat on the couch while Chuck got the beer. He brought back two 6-packs and sat down. He put on the TV and Tom and Jerry was on. I started laughing hysterically both at him for watching him, and at the show itself. I personally like the comedy they apply, it's a good comedy, though a bit violent. "Now, don't drink too much alcohol, I want to actually have a conversation here. So I'll start. Well... I like to watch movies, go partying, go out with friends, and all other kinds of things." He told me, hesitating a little bit while he thought of what to say. "Well, I don't honestly do much. I don't have many friends; I just haven't gotten to know someone too well. I do have a few really close friends, and we do party a lot, but it get's kind of boring. I also like too cook, but often I somehow manage to end up with something burned. I'm also kind of a Techie, I'm good with the computer, not great or anything, but skilled to some degree." I said. Nobody really knew my intense passion for cooking, except those few close friends I mentioned not too long ago. We turned on the TV and put on some football. Before I knew it, I was zipping down the beers. As I drank more and more, the whole room started to spin. Chuck's voice went from deep, to a whole bunch of alien gibberish. I felt his arm go around me and pat my shoulder. "C'mon Joey, take it like a man." he said laughing hysterically. He kept saying stuff, but I could not make it out. I started having those weird feelings again, and I also got a massive headache, but all of my senses were slowly coming back, kinda like a hang-over. "How many rooms you got in this bad boy?" I tried to sound like I was still drunk. Without letting him finish, I said "Well, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna crash here tonight. It's Friday, no work tomorrow, and I feel kinda sick now". "Feel free" he said, moving just a bit closer and tightening his grip. With Chuck having his arm around me, I looked at his eyes. His eyes met mine, and I lost control. I slowly moved my head towards his, and his lips met mine. NIFTY READERS: I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOING IT. I WOULD LIKE TO GET FEEDBACK AT juanmacias.2k@gmail.com. THANKS FOR READING. I kissed him gently. I hugged him strongly, and rubbed his back. I felt so comfortable being held by him, yet it was something that wasn't expected by either of us. He moved away from me and kissed my lips again. He leaned on me, and was now completely on top of me. I, for once in a very long while, I was happy, but I knew I couldn't do it. "I'm sorry Chuck, I can't do this, and this isn't anything like me. I love girls, but I could not help myself but kiss you." I whimpered, very softly, as my eyes started watering. "It's ok Joey. Stay here and we can talk about it. Maybe I can help you." He said, putting his arm around my shoulder. "I can't do this. This is so strange!" I almost screamed. I ran out to my car, but I forgot that I was in Chuck's apartment, and he drove me here. It was cold and windy, which for some odd reason made me feel even more depressed than I did thus far. Instead, I ran down the apartment complex's corridor and into a bathroom, freezing cold rain soaking me, and warm tears rushing down my face. I locked the door before he could try to stop me. I sat against the door and cried. I didn't know why I did that, but I couldn't stop. I didn't know why I cried either. I just let all of my thoughts and emotions out that way. After a while of thinking things through, I decided to come out. It was still raining, even harder now, and Chuck was nowhere in sight. I walked to his apartment and knocked on the door, hoping we could talk about how we both felt, but nobody was inside. It reminded me of how I felt, alone. I looked through the parking lot, but his car was gone too. I was scared of being rejected by anyone, especially him. I looked at my watch; it was 11:00 P.M. I could not wait, so I decided to call a cab. I reached for my phone, but I didn't have it. "I must have left it inside" I said to myself. I leaned on the wall right next to his door, hoping he would be back soon. I kept thinking about all my feelings, trying to figure out exactly who I was, who Chuck was, and what we were as one. The rain calmed to a drizzle, and the winds were now a slightly warm breeze, something experienced in the beginning of the spring and summer seasons. Slowly, my head slid and rested on my knees, I curled up, and slowly drifted into a very soothing and calm sleep. I opened my eyes to a bright sun. I was in my apartment, going through everything that had happened the previous night. I hoped that it was all a dream; I couldn't face him anymore otherwise. I got up to walk my dog, and had some breakfast. I pondered through what had happened to me since I met him. I figured he must have driven me home. I was in thought on how he got me in his car and into my apartment afterwards. He must be really strong, or maybe I'm really light, who knows. I didn't leave my apartment for the next two days. I didn't want to go into the sun, so I stayed home doing nothing productive. I knew that Monday at work would be really tense, if what I experienced was in fact reality and not a dream. I knew it had happened, but I tried so hard to convince myself otherwise. There was so much to think about, and I only had 2 days to think. I wanted to talk to someone, maybe someone that could understand. I decided to get my cell phone. I looked everywhere, but I could not find it. This made it so much harder to pretend like nothing ever happened. I didn't give up looking for it, and I eventually found it in the guest room. It looked like the guest bed had been used. My phone and a note were sitting on the night table. I was afraid, to be honest. At this point, denying the past events was a complete Impossibility. I took my phone so I could call a friend, but the battery was dead. All the odds were against me today, it wasn't the best day I've had. I thought about it all day, it would not exit my mind. So many questions for me... What does Chuck think of me now? What am I? Does he hate me? Why did he play along? It was all a puzzle in my mind. Throughout the day, I was absent minded. I decided to play one of my favorite videogames to try and focus on something different. Eventually, after what seemed like days of waiting, night came. I took a late shower to relax my body. I used warm water to relax my muscles. It was only Saturday, I thought. I had another day to prepare myself to face Chuck. I didn't want to think about it, but I felt like I knew what had happened. As I begun to think about it, I fell asleep. "I think that I might be attracted to..." Morning came. I didn't sleep much. I had to wake up constantly, I felt suffocated with heat, and constantly had to re-hydrate. Today, I wanted to go out and work out, but I didn't have the strength to do too much work. Instead, I went swimming. The same sports center that I made most of my friends at a while ago. I figured that there might be some one whom I could talk to about my problem. In fact, I saw an old friend of mine. I remember him being gay, and we always asked him about the weirdest questions about being gay, and we got a laugh outta him. Though I never got to know him too well, I felt like my hope lay in him. He was doing laps nonstop, and I was trying to find a way to get his attention. He was very serious about swimming, he always dreamed of the Olympics. I figured this would be hard. I swam about 6 sets, by this time everyone but him was in the lockers or doing something else. While he swam to the other side, I got one lane closer to him and swam. As I swam back, I saw his features. His name was Robby. He was actually a bit shorter than most, which was something we teased him about as well. He had a light brunette hair color, honey brown eyes, and a nice smile. Now that I thought about it, he was kind of attractive. What was I thinking? I felt so strange as I thought about it, as if Chuck had awakened something inside of me. When I knew he was swimming back, I got close to the edge, and then yelled. "Ouch! My foot! I can't swim." He stopped swimming and looked in my direction. I made a splash and pretended to be sinking and paddling. He swam at an incredible speed in my direction. I started floating a little more. When he was about five feet from me, I gave a little yelp and paddled gently, sinking on purpose. He swam underwater and positioned my waist on his elbow. He swam to the edge and tried to make me stand as best as he could. I coughed a bit and opened my eyes. "Rob... ow!" I said, trying to make it seem like I was slowly recovering. "Oh my god! Are you ok Joey?" He said, in a deeper voice then I remembered. "I'm fine bro, my foot hurts a bit, but I think it was just a cram. No big. How you been?" I said, trying to completely draw away from my foot. "I've been great, I'm dating someone. No teasing please. And you?" "I'm not doing so good man, you think you can help me out? I'm having a huge problem right now, and you seem right for the conversation." I said. "Ok man, I think that's enough swimming for you, let's go talk at the locker room. "You're getting better in looks" I blurted out. "Haha I said no teasing Joey." We sat down at the locker room benches. "Well thanks for helping me out man, here's what's going on..." I told him everything that had happened thus far. He told me some things about his life, and helped to comfort me. He gave me his cell number in case I had any sort of emergency. I refused to believe what was so obvious. I denied anything that came into my mind. I headed come. I had some cereal for dinner, I wasn't even in the mood for cooking. I felt horrible. I didn't think I was ready. I woke up, it was Monday. I followed the daily routine that I do every day. I headed of to work, avoiding the highway, and eventually made it. I made it to my office, and dove deep into thought again. It was odd. I knew what I felt for Chuck, but I also knew that it just couldn't be. However, I was anxious to see him. I looked carefully through all the cameras. I found his desk on camera # 11. I was watching him working and printing and speaking on the phone the whole day. He seemed a bit strange, and a bit thoughtful. Also, he did not go out of his office except for the bathroom. Finally, lunch time came. I saw Chuck leave his office, head downstairs, and out of the office. This gave me a chance to blink. I ran to the bathroom and back. When I came back, I sat down and checked my e-mail, but I didn't get anything worth opening. I glanced back at the monitors and I saw Chuck walking through the lobby and into the elevator. As the elevator doors closed, Chuck pressed my floor's button, and he was carrying two bags. I really hoped that he brought me lunch, and I was anxious to see him. But then I was devastated. He was looking at the camera, and his eyes shined. Two tears ran down his pale cheeks, and he looked away. He quickly wiped his eyes and straightened himself up. I was now completely sure that what happened on Friday night was reality, ALL OF IT. I pretended to be busy watching monitors, though I expected him in any second. The door violently swung open, Chuck walked in, avoiding my eyes at al cost. He simply put one of the bags on my lap and started walking away. "Did Friday night really happen?" I asked. "All I remember is you picking me up, football, and I woke up at my apartment the next morning. Was it a dream? Or did it really happen?" I asked again. I tried to walk around him and close the door. "What happened last night was something I wanted from the moment I met you. I was so... frustrated. I wanted to talk to you but you locked yourself in the bathroom. You cried, and I now realize that you don't want this. I thought of you as something you weren't, and to feel your lips against mine was pure happiness. I had to leave because I could not stand the pressure on me. When I came back I found you asleep right by my door. I brought you into my car and drove back to your apartment. The point is... I am leaving this job because I now know that..." I walked up to him, grabbed his head and kissed his teeth. We both giggled and smiled, and them we kissed again, this time it was the right way. I knew that it couldn't be, I was convinced, but I loved Chuck, and I knew he was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I didn't know what would be of us, but I wanted to go through it, no matter what. The whole work-day, I was thinking. I could not take my eyes of f of camera # 11. So many times, he looked at the camera and blew me a kiss. We decided to meet after work, and though I was nervous, and I was confused. I did not know what the future held for me, but I was ready to face it. AGAIN, PLEASE SEND ME SOME COMMENTS ON THIS. GOOD, BAD, NEUTRA, IT DOES NOT MATTER, AND FEEL FREE TO GIVE ME SOME TIPS! ;) juanmacias.2k@gmail.com I was very confused though. Throughout my whole life, I've liked girls. Personality, quality, looks, and even body were a pleasure to me. So why now would I start Caring for Chuck. I kept trying to focus during work, fiddling with my thumbs to avoid distracting myself. I also could not stop thinking about what happened only 3 hours ago. I kept looking at cameras in a certain pattern today. 1, 11, 2, 11, 3, 11, 4, 11, 5, 11... It seemed to me like the clock was rolling back. About an hour before Chuck got out of work, he grabbed the phone and started calling somebody. My phone rang, completely startling me. I picked up and heard his voice, muffled, but still nice to hear. "Hey Joey, are we going to meet today after work?" He said. Though I was kinnda happy, I was nervous as to what would happen when we met. "Yeah Chuck, want to come to my place this time?" I said. I decided that it would be better at my place since there, I might have a bit more control over what he wants to do. "Sounds good." "Please call me when you're on your way". I hung up the phone to keep the conversation brief, otherwise, somebody could say something as to why he calls me every day or so. I thought about how tonight would be. I suddenly became a nervous wreck and started breathing heavily. I quickly grabbed the phone and dialed. About 3 rings or so, a man answered. "Hello?" he said, sounding cheery. "Hey Robbie, It's me Joey". Robby answered "Hey Joey! What's up?" he said, cheery as ever. "I'm good, I guess" I said, trying to prepare myself to open up again. "Listen Robby, I'm having a hard time right now" I said. "Well what's up Bud? I'm here for ya" he said, in him "Good ol' Texas accent". "Ok, well I already told you all about Chuck. Well we made up and he wants me to meet with him in my place after work. I'm afraid that he might want to pull something." I said, shivering for some reason. "To be completely honest, it's different with every guy. Some guys are sweet, and some just want to get in your pants." "It's just that I... I have feelings for him. You know me, I can get very attached to him, but I don't even know what I'm getting into, and I'm afraid that I might not be able to get out, and I don't want my heart broken either." I said, almost yelling now. There was a strange silence between the phones. I calmed down a bit. "Joey, all I can tell you to do is to go with what you feel, and everything will be alright, trust me." He hung up. I knew he had some feeling for me, but I didn't like him as a boyfriend before, and I now found him attractive, but still don't see him fit for me. My phone rang again, this time, it was my home phone. I answered "hello?" But it sounded more like a whimper. "Hey Joey, I'm gonna head to your place right now. What's your apartment number?" I thought. When he came to get me 2 nights ago, I was outside already, so he didn't know exactly where I lived. "Apartment 246. Let me know when you're here so I can come outside to greet you" I said. "Ok, see ya in a little bit" he hung up. I called the pizza place down the street to order some pizza. I've always been good at cooking, but I didn't feel that a nice dinner would be ok just yet. I sat back on my couch to finish playing Parasite eve 2, and awesome videogame. I always play the "killing zombies and monsters with handguns and machine guns" kind of game. I lost at the exact same part I lost at the previous nigh. I put everything away, fed my Butterfly Koi fish, my miniature schnauzer dog, Oscar, and waited for Chuck and the pizza. I sat there for what seemed like hours, but it had only been 10 minutes. I anxiously paced back and forth in my living room, until the doorbell finally rang. I almost jumped up and down in happiness, but then I heard the person at the door yell "Pizza Delivery". "Aww crap" I said. I got some bills and a pen and answered the door. The Pizza guy stood there, he was very... handsome? For some reason, which I still didn't understand, I found him attractive too. I've never in my life been gay, and now I have all there emotions and sentiments for males. The receipt read $16.83. I gave him 19 bucks and told him to keep the change. I set the pizza on the counter, far from my dog, grabbed some plates, and set up my dinner table. Since everything in my apartment was pretty small, and so was the apartment itself, I'd be close to him most of the time, but I was worried we wouldn't be doing much eating and more of something else. I decided to put on some TV while I waited. As soon as I sat, the doorbell rang again. I jumped of my seat, knowing for sure it was him. I fixed my shirt and clothes, and answered the door. "Hey" Chuck said. He walked towards me to give me a kiss, but I stepped back, a bit afraid. "Hey Chuck, come in" He gave me a strange look, but he came in and looked around. "Nice place. I think it's a bit bigger than mine" He winked, and I feared that he meant that as a sexual remark. "Chuck, is all you want from me sex?" I blurted out, as my eyes watered a little bit. DON'T FORGET TO WRITE TO juanmacias.2k@gmail.com AND GIVE ME SOME POINTERS. THE SECTION ABOVE WAS DONE My eyes continued to tear up as I stared at him, surprise evident in his features. "Whoa..." he began to mutter and then his voice rose, "what the hell are you talking about, Joey? I just got here and haven't even tried to kiss you yet." He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Where is this coming from? I know we just met, but what have I done to make you think that way?" I realized I had just over-reacted on a grand scale and just stared at him unable to speak, my face growing red with embarrassment. "Joey... what did I do?" He started to say something else, then a look flashed across his face that I couldn't read. "Nevermind... maybe I should just leave. I've obviously done something to make you mad." And he turned towards the door. "Wait..." I said weakly.He stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "You haven't done anything," I said. "I just don't know what I'm doing... I don't know what to expect. Please stay. And I'm not mad." "Are you sure? Your face tells another story." "What?" Then I realized he was talking about my face being so red. "Oh... no, that's not anger... it's embarrassment. I turn red when that happens." Chuck didn't look entirely convinced. And I couldn't blame him. I had just accused him of only wanting sex from me and he had just walked through the door. My anxiety is going to be the death of me. "Please, I'm sorry. I'm just a little off balance here. Please stay. I have pizza and beer." Chuck walked over and sat at the table before looking up at me. "OK. Let's start over. But we're going to talk about this later." And then he smirked. "What kind of pizza have you got? I hope you didn't put mushrooms on it. I don't eat fungus." I laughed and felt the tension ease out of my body. "No, it's just pepperoni and cheese. I figured I'd play it safe tonight." I handed him a beer and opened the pizza box. We ate and talked about our day. He told me about how he was adjusting to his new job, figuring out how Niki did everything, changing things here and there that worked better for him, and learning what his boss expected of him. I chatted a bit about my day, not that was much to tell. Unless we get a customer trying to shoplift, my job is pretty boring. I decided against telling him I spent half my day looking at him through the cameras. I handed him another beer when he drained the last of his. He glanced at me while opening it. "So, you mind telling me what all that was about when I got here?"I definitely could have skipped this entire conversation and never complained. "Chuck, this is all so... alien to me. I've never questioned my sexuality before this. I've dated women since high school, and never in that entire time did I think about men. And then I meet you two days ago." I paused to down the rest of my beer, then opened another. "It threw me off balance. I have absolutely no idea what to expect, what to do. I don't even know if I'm gay. Well, I know I'm not gay because I like women, but can I really be having these feelings? I'll be honest, a huge part of me just wants to run and pretend none of this happened." The expression that flashed across Chuck's face made me pause for a second. "But, I committed myself earlier today to seeing what this can be." His expression changed again... he looked... relieved? "Also, you may as well know up front. I have a problem with anxiety. When something starts bothering me like this thing with you and me, I get anxious as most anyone would when they are put in a situation they've never been in. But with me, it just builds and builds, and I end up pretty much freaking out." "So that was a panic attack earlier?" "Well, the result of one, anyway. When I'm in the middle of one, my thinking isn't exactly rational. It can be... OH SHIT!" "What?!" "I just remembered I called my friend Nancy earlier while I was freaking out about this and blurted out that I was having feelings for a guy." I just sat there in shock. What was I going to say to her next time I saw her? Had she told anyone else? Would she even talk to me again? What was it she said when she got off the phone? I couldn't remember anything about the conversation except telling her about my feelings for Chuck. I started when I felt hands on my shoulders. Chuck had somehow came around the table and was starting to massage my shoulders. His touch was very soothing and I felt myself calming down. He sighed, "This is too much for you, Joey... at least for right now." He sat down beside me and I looked up in his ice-blue eyes. "I do really like you, but this isn't going to work. I think it will be best if we just be friends for now. Maybe that's all we're supposed to be, anyway." I felt a tremendous sense of relief at those words. But yet, why did I also feel sad? "Come on, let's go watch some TV or something. What were you doing before I got here?" He said as he stood to walk toward the living room. "Chuck, I'm s..." "Don't, Joey." He turned to look at me. "There isn't anything to be sorry for. I don't know what it is you're going through, but I can imagine. If I suddenly found myself attracted to women, I'd probably be disoriented as well. Let's just not worry about it, ok? We can be friends, can't we?" "Of course we can, but..." "No buts. Besides, you know you're not ready for anything else. Last night and tonight are proof that you're not. So let's just be friends. Who knows what will happen later. Now, are you going to tell me what all that whimpering is?" "Huh? Oh! That's Oscar, I must have shut him in my bedroom before you got here." I went and let Oscar out and he came running into the living area and went straight to Chuck, wagging not only his tail but the entire rear half of his body. "Looks like he likes you." "Yeah, I seem to have a way with animals. I don't know what it is." He knelt down and gave Oscar some attention that was eagerly accepted. When he stood up, Oscar jumped up and propped his front legs on Chuck's, obviously wanting more. "You'd think I never petted that dog," I chuckled. Chuck laughed at that, but leaned down to pet Oscar a bit more. He then sat down on the sofa and Oscar curled up at his feet. "Traitor" I grumbled. "Now, don't blame the dog... I'm just likeable." He smirked. I grinned and sat beside him, petting my turncoat pet in spite of being abandoned. "I see you have a PS2. What games do you play? I told him about Parasite Eve 2 that I was playing earlier and some of the other games I played. "I've never been too big into the Zombie type games myself." "Oh? What do you play? I can tell by the way you said that that you're a gamer." "Oh yeah, I do like my games. I like racing games, RPG's and some strategy games. I've been playing World of Warcraft for a long while now." "I've heard that was a great game. I don't have a computer, though. I make do with the PlayStation. Lots of zombies to kill on there." Chuck laughed at that. "Nothing wrong with saving the human race from people that have forgotten that they're no longer among the living. Next time you're at my place, I'll show you the game. You'll probably like it." He glanced over at me. "You want to play it for a bit?" "Nah, it's only a one-player game. You'd be bored." "I did say 'for a bit' you know. But I'm curious to see what you like about it. We can watch a movie or something later." So, I started up the game and played for a bit pointing out the parts of the game that appealed to me. I could tell it wasn't his thing, but I appreciated him taking an interest. Then I remembered an old racing game someone had given me that I'd never played. And, if I remembered correctly, it was multiplayer. I saved my game and shut off the PS2. I then looked through my games until I found it. "Have you ever played this? It's two player, so we can play together." I handed him the game. "Oh! WipeOut Fusion! I love this game. How far have you gotten?" I confessed that I had never played the game before and that I only had it because a friend had given it to me after he beat it. "You don't know what you've been missing. Come on, let's play." I was surprised by how much fun the game was. The split screen was a bit annoying, but the racing was a blast. I was surprised to find that the vehicles had weapons, and I loved the music. If I had known the games soundtrack was techno and trance, I might have been playing this game earlier. To no one's surprise, Chuck wiped the floor with me but I was getting noticeably better at the end. After an hour or so of that, we decided to watch a movie. Chuck pulled out three movies he had rented and asked me to pick one. He had Transformers, Boondock Saints, and Ocean's 13. "Hopefully, you'll like one of these. Boondock Saints is a movie that got missed at the box office, but became well known after it was released on DVD." "A cult classic?" huck's lap. "I don't know about that, but it's definitely different. I think you'll like it." "OK, let's watch that one then. And then Transformers if we have time after. I wanted to see it this summer, but was working too much and I don't like going to movies alone." "Ditto. It's just not as much fun without someone to talk to about it after, is it?" "Nope, not at all." We settled in to watch the film, and I must admit I really enjoyed it. He was right, it was different, but I loved it. The dialog was great and Willem Dafoe was brilliant in it as were the two main actors. We talked about while I was popping some popcorn and getting ready for the next one. It was violent without a doubt, but always had that touch of comic relief to balance things out. The microwave signaled that our popcorn was ready, so we grabbed a couple more beers and headed back to the sofa. Transformers was great, much better than I thought it would have been. I remember watching the cartoon as a kid and had a hunch that Hollywood had bungled it. But I was much relieved to see they did a good job. The story was great, the action sequences were very well done without going over the top and the characters were believable, mechanical though many of them were. I loved the scene that made the president look like an idiot. When the movie was over, I was surprised to find that I was leaned up against Chuck and was quite comfortable. I started to feel some panic building up, but was able to force it down. We weren't doing anything after all. We chatted about the movie and agreed on most points. I was about to mention that I also liked the music in the movie when I yawned. "Getting sleepy, I see. So am I... what time is it?" Chuck said as he pulled out his cell to look. "Yeah, it's almost 1:00am. I better get going, you and I both have work tomorrow." "Thanks for reminding me", I grinned. "But you're right, I need some sleep." We got up and I walked him to the door. "I had a great time tonight, Chuck. Thanks again for being so understanding." I thought I saw something flicker across his face but decided I must be seeing things. "Yeah, I had a great time as well. We'll have to do something again soon... maybe get out of the house this time as well." He smiled. "That sounds good. I spend too much time here by myself to begin with." "Great! Well, I will see you tomorrow. Have a good night's sleep." And with that, he was gone. I spent some time cleaning up before going to lie down. Oscar jumped up on the bed with me and settled in to his spot at my feet. I lay there thinking about everything today and feeling much better about everything now that we were going to just be friends. So why did I feel so alone since he left? That thought plagued me as I drifted off to sleep. I woke up a bit hung-over. I wasn't used to drinking too much. I didn't get much sleep, and that's what I hated about the job. The long hours gave me no time to do anything except eat, sleep, and with that I only had 3-4 hours of free time. I showered. As hot steamy water ran down my body, I though of the outcome of the previous night. I thought of how chuck massaged my back gently, and how I was leaning on him after Transformers. The water felt a bit colder... I suddenly remembered the note that I saw the night after I was dropped off by Chuck. I went into the guest room and picked it up. It was in a napkin, but still easily read. "Joey, I guess by now you realize that I am gay. And I can also see you're not gay or even bisexual. I guess it was just the alcohol that made you want to kiss me. it's my stupid fault for getting the wrong idea from you, but fell in love with you from the second I helped you up from your fall. I fell in love with you, all of you, and I'm crushed because it cannot be. I just didn't expect anything to happen that night, and when it did, I got my illusions up. the point is that you don't want me with you, so I guess hat's that" It wasn't even signed. Reading this made me very emotional, but he was the one who rejected me. I got dressed, and headed of to work. The whole drive, I could not stop thinking about it. I wish the outcome of the whole night could have been different. I walked into work. I was a bit early. I walked through the lobby, greeting people as I saw them, though not many knew me. I jumped on the elevator and headed to floor 3. The elevator rose. I had a bit of an elevator phobia. It terrified me that this metal box could crash down on any given day. I almost ran out of the elevator, and headed through offices, and into the "Control Room". I sat down my chair and slid to the wall. I swiped my card and clocked in. I rolled back to my desk and looked at the Ceiling. I felt alone again. I though of the positive side to my change in sexuality. I shook the thought out of my head, and tried to focus on work. About half an hour later, Chuck walked through the lobby, looking a bit sloppy... NIFTY READERS: I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOING IT. I WOULD LIKE TO GET FEEDBACK AT juanmacias.2k@gmail.com. THANKS FOR READING. THOUGH THIS HAS ONLY HYST BEEN POSTED, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS ABOUT HALF WAY DONE ALREADY. HOWEVER, THIS WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO BE FOUR CHAPTERS, BUT THEY WERE PUT INTO ONE. THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS WONT BE HALF AS LONG AS THIS ONE, BUT I WILL CONSTANTLY BE UNITING THEM SO THAT IT'S EASIER TO MANAGE THE STORY OVER ALL. ADRESS ME FOR ANY THOUGHT ON THIS OR ON THE STORY.