Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2008 14:05:35 -0800 (PST) From: Randy Howard Subject: The Journal / Chapter 5 'The Final Chapter' / Beginnings The Journal By Randyhoward2@yahoo.com Chapter 5 The final chapter. The usual disclaimers apply. >From the last chapter. "Excited babe or nervous." "Both, I wish we were already there and back home." I said. "I am also nervous because I have never flown before." I tell him squeezing his hand tighter. We finally take off and climb to altitude. The fasten seat belt sign goes off and people start to move around. The stewardess comes over and asks if we would like a cocktail. We tell her thanks but we are having a baby and we don't think it wise to drink. She looks at me as if I have two heads or something. Then Kyle explains the trip. She smiles and congratulates us. He explains that we will be returning on a connecting flight an hour later after we land. She get up from her squatting position and moves onto the other passengers. The pilot comes on the speaker and tells us that there is a snowstorm in the Vancouver area and that the temperature is twenty-eight degrees. He also asks that we remain seated and seat belts fastened until we land. We are a half hour out of Vancouver when the plane drops thousands of feet and the interior lights go out plunging us into darkness. "Kyle!" I scream. "What's happening?" "Ladies and Gentlemen. This is the pilot we are going... Chapter 5 "Ladies and gentlemen. This is the pilot, we are going through some turbulence and I have turned on the fasten seat belt sign. The power failure was an accident. My elbow hit the kill lights switch. Sorry for any scare but we will be landing in twenty-five minutes. Please enjoy the rest of your flight." "My God that scared me. I almost pissed my pants." I said to Kyle. He laughed at me so hard I wanted to hit him. The plane made a perfect approach and landing at Vancouver International Airport. When we had departed the plane, our lawyer was there to meet us. We met the judge and he seemed very pleased with us. I noticed a woman holding a baby over to our left and wondered if that was our Dylan. We spent twenty minutes talking and signing papers and forms. When all the paper work was done, the judge motioned for the woman I had seen to come over. She had the baby all wrapped up in a blue bunting. She handed me the baby, turned, and left, no emotion and no words were spoken. Kyle and I unwrapped the boy and looked at him. He was asleep and had the cutest face you ever saw on a baby. He looked like an angel all soft and cuddly. Kyle looked at him and said, "Hey Dylan, welcome to the family son." He had the look of pride as only a true dad could looking at his new son. That stupid grin he gets just went from ear to ear. He bent down and kissed him on the forehead, as he lay asleep in my arms. "You better take after me because your other dad can get quite dramatic," he says looking at me and grinning. Everyone laughed and we said our thank you and good byes and left for our departure gate. We needed British Airways flight 169 leaving from gate 38 and we were at gate 17. We caught a shuttle that took us to our gate with minutes to spare. They were announcing passengers with small children and infants could now board. "That's us," I told Kyle with a smile. We gave our boarding passes to the attendant and boarded the plane. It was a full flight with college kids headed back to school and all. We found our seats and we were thankful that our lawyer had booked three seats instead of two; it gave us extra room for the baby, not that we would put him down. The flight home was smoother than the flight out and I was so thankful to be home. Steve and Michael met us at the airport to take us home. We got home and showed off our Dylan to everyone. Mrs. Whitehead had a cute little outfit for him and Steve and Michael had bought him an old fashion carriage like the ones used at the turn of the century. Everyone left about an hour later and we just took our time checking Dylan out and admiring our little man. He had dark brown fuzzy hair and bright blue eyes and a voice that could wake the dead. When he cried his little face turned so red and he had a deep purple streak straight up his forehead. Kyle said that was his temper streak. We put him in his crib and decided to take a nap also. When we stripped and got in bed Kyle says, "Can we practice making kid number two bud?" "Number two, can we enjoy number one for awhile please." I say with a smirk. "But we are only going to practice bud. I won't get you pregnant, I promise," and he gives me that grin and jumps on top of me. His mouth found my neck and ears. He sucked and bit on the lobes driving me crazy with lust for him. He sat up and looked at me and said, "Bud you are the best lover a man could ever find. You complete me and bring out the best in me. I love you so fucking much." He kisses me hard and deep our tongues fighting for domination. I break the kiss and tell him, "Without you babe I would be like a cart without a horse. You complete me like flowers complete a garden," and we kiss some more. "Now Dylan completes our picture of love." "If he is half the man you are Kyle he will be a fantastic man." I tell him with pride and admiration in my voice. He just smiled at me, as his eyes got glossy. "You know how to move me more than anyone or thing could ever move me bud. I love you more than I can but into words love," and he kisses me again. He rises, lifts my legs over his shoulders and drops down, and starts to make love to my treasure spot with his tongue. My hips rise to get more of his tongue in me. He inserts a finger while fucking me with his tongue and I yell out in ecstasy. "Oh fuck babe you have me so fucking close babe." I yell out. Just then, Dylan lets out a cry. He is whaling away in his crib and wants attention. "Fuck babe I forgot about the baby," I said jumping up to go tend him. I return a few minutes later after I got him back to sleep and Kyle is sound asleep. 'Fuck,' I thought, 'I really wanted to finish what we had started.' I let him sleep and got up to fix me a tea and just chill out about being a dad. Talk about someone making you complete, this little man does that for the both of us. His life will be filled with love because of the love his dads have for each other. My eyes begin to fill with tears and they run down my cheeks as a voice says, "What's the matter bud, did I do something wrong babe." Kyle asks me as he throws his big arms around from behind. "No babe, just so happy that I can't contain it," I tell him. "My life feels so complete now that I have you and Dylan babe." I turn in his arms and we kiss. "Hey bud want to finish what we started earlier," he asks with that grin again. He has to get a patent on that fucking grin of his. We go back to bed and he makes the most passionate love to me that he had ever made. We are one in mind, body and spirit. We both came at the same moment and kissed in the fuzzy afterglow of our love making just holding each other tight until we both fell asleep. Dylan. 'God, I never knew how much they loved me.' I thought to myself. I knew they loved me because they made sure to not only tell me everyday but they showed me in ways most kids only dreamed of. They would unexpectedly throw their arms around me and say, "Dylan party lets all have a love Dylan party," and they would kiss me, and hug me and tell me they loved me. It was fine and fun when I was little but in high school, it was so embarrassing when they would do that, and once in front of my friends. They finally got the message and would only do it when we were alone. 'God what I would give to have another love Dylan party right now,' I thought to myself. The tears flowed from his eyes as he sat there and remembered the happy times he had growing up with his dads. He just let them flow and then he heard a noise. A cry came from the chair across the room. It was facing the window and he could not see who was sitting in it. He got up cautiously and grabbed the letter opener. He carefully walked towards the chair with the letter opener in front of him as a knife ready to stab the intruder. As he got to the back of the chair, he noticed the gun on the floor beside it. He quietly bent down and crawled to retrieve it. He took it into his hands and pointed it towards the chair as he slowly walked around it feeling braver holding the gun when. "My God dad what happened," he said as he saw the blood on his dad's white shirt. "Dad please wake up, its me Dylan. Oh my God he shot himself," he said with his mind racing and panic racking his brain. 'I must call 911,' he thought and raced to the desk. He picked up the phone and dialed, "911 what is your emergency," asked the operator. "My dad is shot and he is bleeding badly," he tells the operator now with full panic driving him on. "Is he alive sir," she asks. "Yes but I don't know for how much longer," he shouts. "I show your address as 1545 Mulberry Ridge Road, is that correct," she asks him "Is this Mr. Kerry-Fitzpatrick?" "No that's my dad, he is the one shot," Dylan tells he. "Please hurry, please." "Calm down sir and listen to me. Can you see where the blood is coming from?" She asks. "Ah yes I think so," he says to her. "Put your hand on the wound and apply pressure to it and hold it there. The ambulance will be there shortly." She says. "We are upstairs on the second floor and the front door is unlocked," he tells her and she relates it to the ambulance. Although it took ten minutes for the ambulance to get there, it seemed like hours to Dylan. They arrived and hurried into the house and heard Dylan yelling from the second floor. "We are up here please hurry." He yelled to the attendants. As they came into the room, they saw Dylan holding the wound with his hands. "Please save my dad I can't loose him too." He pleads. "Stand back son and let us take over. You need to talk to the officer about what happened." The paramedic told him as a familiar face stepped in the room. Steve stood in the doorway and he held out his arms to Dylan, and Dylan ran into them and the damn opened. He cried until he had no more tears to shed. Steve held him and rubbed his back telling him it would be all right. The paramedics had loaded Kyle onto the stretcher and were preparing him for transport. Dylan let go of Steve and ran over to him, "Dad hold on dad please hold on I need you dad," he said through sobs and tears. "Son we are taking him to Toronto General," he told Dylan. "The officer will take you there," and they left with Kyle. "Dylan, listen to me and calm down," Steve said. "You won't be much good to Kyle like this," he said. "Uncle Steve, why," he asks him with despair in his voice. "Why did he try to kill himself, Uncle Steve, why please tell me." "I can't Dylan," he says sadly. "Only your dad knows why. I would suspect that it has something to do with Joshua's death." "I didn't even know that he was sitting there when the coroner and funeral home came for my dad's body," he told Steve. "I had just gotten in, rushed upstairs, and found my dad still lying on the bed I cried until the doorbell rang and I went to let them in. The chair was turned towards the window and with the back so high I didn't even know or see dad sitting there. I could have done something if only I had looked around the room more. I thought that dad was off at the funeral home or something. I should have known that he would not have left dad alone like that." "Don't blame yourself son," Steve told him. "He evidently didn't want to be found or he would have been more noticeable. You come with me and I'll take you to the hospital," he told him and they left. At the hospital, they told us that dad was in surgery and nothing else. "The doctor will be out when he is finished and brief you on your dad's condition. Why don't you wait in the solarium and he will find you there," the nurse said. "Come on Dylan lets get a coffee and wait for the doctor," Steve said to him. They waited for almost four hours and Michael and Adam had joined them when the doctor finally came to see them. "Are you Dylan, I am Doctor McMillan," the doctor said to me. "Yes, how's my dad?" I asked with concern and worry. "Well he is stable at the moment but in critical condition. He lost a lot of blood and we had to do a transfusion. The gunshot missed his vital organs but he bled a lot. The next twenty-four hours will be critical for him." "Can I see him doctor," I asked. "For a moment. He is still unconscious but he is resting comfortably. As I said, the next twenty-four hours will determine his fate. Now I have to go check on him so if you will come with me I will take you to see him." "Uncle Steve will you come with me please," I asked almost afraid to see dad alone. "Sure son lets go," he said and put his arm around me as we followed the doctor. When we entered his room, he looked so pale and drawn. "My God is he alive doctor?" I asked. "He looks so pale." "Yes he is. It is because of his loss of blood that he appears so pale. With time, his color will return. If you like to talk to him and let him know you are here. Patients in a comatose state have said that they remember people talking to them while they were unconscious." I went over to his bedside and took his hand in mine and said, "Dad, its me Dylan. If you can hear me please come back to me, I can't bare to bury both of my dads," I told him. "I love you dad and I still need you to be here with me and not to follow dad to heaven. Please dad wake up and come back to me, please dad." "Why don't you go home and rest young man," the doctor said. "We will call you if anything changes." We stayed a few more minutes and left. Uncle Steve took me home and Adam said he would stay with me tonight. On the way home I told Uncle Steve and Uncle Mike about the letter and the journal that dad had left me. I told him that I was reading it when I heard dad moan. "What did the letter say Dylan," he asked me. "It basically said that Josh was is life and reason to live and that he loved me. He said that he was taking the only way recourse he could find for the situation and hoped I would understand. I thought he was talking about the journal and not suicide Uncle Steve." I said and the tears started again. Adam pulled me to him and held me rubbing my back telling me that dad would be all right. When we got home, I showed them the letter and journal and told them how I had been reading some of it. They read the letter and looked at the journal and then said their goodbyes and left. "Dylan you know that your dad loves you, don't you?" Adam asked me. "Yes, but why did he leave me like this. He just tried to end his life because he couldn't bare to loose my other dad, don't I mean anything to him." "Of course you do Dylan, after all you are his son. But sometimes pain can drive us to do things we would second guess if we had the chance." He said in his consoling way. I just sat there in Adam's arms quietly crying and feeling so abandoned. Adam was such a comfort to me and had been through the years. We grew up together even though he was a year older than I was. We even were in the same grades together because of his birth date. I loved having him as a friend and confidant. We even experimented with sex a few times together. We both were popular with the girls and we were both on the football and golf teams together. We both worked out at the school gym and had great bodies to show for it. He was tall, six foot three, while I was only five foot eleven. He had long blond hair and green eyes, while mine were blue with reddish brown hair. Even though he was straight and had a girlfriend, I on the other hand was gay and totally, I love with him; I had been since I was sixteen. I wish I could have told him but I didn't want to loose his friendship. We laid in bed most of the night talking about the journal that my dad Josh had kept and laughed about how my dad had punched his dad thinking him to be the thieves that had robbed their place. We laughed even harder at how his dad kissed mine and then got all embarrassed. We both would have loved to see that transpire. It was along about two thirty in the morning, and Adam was holding me in bed comforting me, that I turned in his arms and looked in his eyes and said, "You know Adam if it hadn't been for you I would not have made it through this night. Thank you for being there again in my time of need and being a friend." It was then that he pulled me up to his face and kissed me on the lips. I pulled away from him, looked him in the eyes, and said, "Are you sure or is it sympathy?" He looked me squarely in the eyes and says, "Is this sympathy," and he kisses me again and with passion letting our tongues meet and caress each other. "I have loved you for so many years and had always been afraid of loosing you if I told you how I felt," he said. We kissed again and he climbed on top of me and started to nuzzle my neck. 'Oh fuck what he is making me feel,' I thought. He kissed and gently bit on my ears until I thought I would cum right then. "My God Adam how much time we wasted being afraid to share our true feelings," I told him looking into his eyes. "But just think the fun we will have making up for lost time," he said with a grin. 'Oh God, not him to with an irresistible grin.' I thought. We got up, undressed, and got back into bed. He took me into his arms, kissed me, and told me how much he loved me. He was kissing my neck when he whispered in my ear, "Dylan I love you and I want to fuck you, but only if you want to." "If I want to," I said to him with passion in my voice. "I have wanted that since I was sixteen," I said and kissed him again with passion and urgency in my lips. He sits up and asks me, "Have you ever done this before?" "No you will be my first love," I tell him. "Am I your first," I ask. "Yes babe contrary to the rumors you heard about Marybeth and me." He said. "I am a virgin also and had saved myself just hoping for just this moment." He kisses me, and drops to my nipples and softly sucks and bites them and caresses them with his tongue. He goes down to my cock, takes it in his hand, kisses it, and licks the pre-cum off. He takes it fully into his mouth and sucks it down to my pubes arousing feeling I never knew I had. My hips rise to meet his downward sucks. He places a finger at my hole and slowly rubs around it. "Oh fuck Adam what are you doing to me," I say in short gasps. He pulls off my cock, wets his finger, and goes back down on my cock. He gently pushes his finger into my hole and my ass jumps off the bed. Slowly he works my ass and hits my prostate making me jump again. "Oh fuck what is that you are rubbing babe," I ask. "Its your prostate," he says. "Well you better stop if you are going to fuck me because you have me ready to cum." I tell him. He pulls out his finger and asks, "You have any lube Dylan?" "In the top drawer of the nightstand," I tell him. "I use it to jerk off with." He finds it and squirts some on his dick and on my hole. He gently rubs it into my asshole and just about brings to a climax. "Love just fuck me or I will come right now, you have me that close," I tell him. I reach down and work the lube in on his cock. He pushes my legs up and apart back to my chest and lines up his cock with my hole. "This is going to hurt babe," he tells me. "Just go slow babe a little at a time," I say. "How big are you anyway." I ask. "Almost ten inches and fat." He says with pride. "Just go real slow and I do mean slow babe." I warned him with a smile. "I will love and just tell me to stop and I will and pull out," he says with concern in his voice. He pushes against my asshole and it resists. I push back as he again pushes and the head pops through. "Oh fuck that hurts, my God that hurts Adam," I protest. He stops and pulls it out. "I can't hurt you Dylan, you mean to much to me," he says with tears in his eyes. "No babe try again and stop to let me get accustom to it. This my first time and my ass needs to stretch." I tell him. He lubes my ass more and his cock and gently pushes in his cock head. It doesn't hurt as much this time and I tell him to push more in. He adds another few inches in and stops to let me relax. We continue this way until he has his whole cock in me. "You alright love," he asks. "Yeah oh fuck yeah," I tell him. "You feel so fucking good in me I could stay this way forever." He slowly starts to fuck me, in and out only a little at a time until we find a rhythm. He is fucking me in and out now almost all the way out and slamming it in deep and hard hitting my prostate with each push. "Oh fuck me babe harder.deeper babe I'm going to cum babe," I yell. He leans down and kisses me deep and hard. I shoot my cum between us as we kiss. My ass constricts around his cock and pushes him over the brink. The feeling of his cum filling my ass makes me cum a second time and I shoot all over my chest. He keeps fucking until he has no more to give and pulls out. He lifts me up into his embrace and we kiss in the afterglow of our first lovemaking. "Oh Adam that was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced." I tell him with love in my eyes. "I love you my love and will forever even if you don't want to become a couple," I add with hope in my voice. "Dylan how could I cut off my right arm or my left leg and still be hole. You are the part of me I have been missing my entire life babe. I could not; no will not let you go now or later. You are my life now and to loose you is to die my love." He says and pulls me close and kisses me deeply and passionately. We fall to sleep holding each other as if someone might steal us. We awake around ten when the telephone rings. I jump out of my sleep and grab it before the second ring. "Hello, this is Dylan Kerry-Fitzpatrick," I say with a touch of fear in my voice. "This is Toronto General. Doctor McMillan asked me to call and tell you that your father has awoken and is asking for you," the nurse said. "Tell him I will be right there, and thank you," I said with excitement in my voice. I hung up and jumped out of bed running for the bathroom and a shower yelling, "Adam dads awake and wants to see me love. Hurry, lets shower and get to the hospital." We are in the car and at the hospital in less than forty-five minutes. Adam drops me off at the hospital entrance and goes to park the car. I take the elevator to the fifth floor and I run down the hall to Intensive Care. My dad's door is open and his bed is stripped. He is nowhere to be seen. Fear strikes my heart, I see Adam coming down the hall, and I run to him. "Adam dad's gone," I tell him in tears now. "I was just in his room and it has been stripped and made ready for the next patient." "There has got to be a logical explanation Dylan," he says with reassurance to his statement. "Lets check at the nurses station and inquire as to where he has been moved, ok love." We go to the nurse's station and the head nurse tells me that dad has been moved to the psychiatric ward. "Psychiatric ward but why," I ask. "Well he did try to commit suicide and it is the law that patients that have tried suicide be moved and held in the psychiatric ward and get treatment. Also it is to protect them from trying it again." She explains. "Oh my God Adam they think my dad is crazy," I say crying again. "How much more does this family have to take before things change." I ask. "Where is this ward located," I ask. "Well.err.let me call Doctor McMillan for you. Why don't you wait in the waiting room and I will send him into you." She says stammering. We went in and waited as Doctor McMillan was paged. About ten minutes later, the doctor came into the waiting room and directed us into a private office. "Lets have a seat and I will answer all your questions," he says rather professionally. "Why have they moved my dad to the psych ward," I asked very sternly. "Well the law says that a person who tries suicide is a danger to himself and must undergo evaluation and mental treatment. Your father tried to end his life and he must be treated as if he would do it again." He says. "But my dad was distraught over loosing his life long partner," I said. "I know Dylan but he is still deep into grieving and could very well try it again and this time he might succeed." He says. "He needs supervision and evaluation. He will be treated as any other patient with care and professionalism." "Can I see him doctor," I ask. "Of course, why don't you come with me and I will set you both up with the necessary passes to gain entrance into the ward. You see even though he is not a criminal that ward is locked up tight as a drum to prevent patients from leaving without permission." He tells us. "All visitors must have a special pass to gain entry into the ward for visitation." He adds. "Now gentlemen lets go and set up the passes and get you into see your dad. He is awake and very depressed but he has asked about you Dylan." By now, my eyes are full of tears and Adam takes me in his arms and sooths me and we head up to the ward that has my dad. When we arrive a guard sitting at a desk asks for our pass. The doctor gives our passes to the guard and he checks them against a list and hands them back to the doctor who gives us back our passes and says, "Remember you must have your pass and it must be presented to the duty guard before you can enter." He tells us. The guard gets up, opens the locked doors, and lets us pass. The ward is quiet and all the doors are closed. "Are all these doors locked also," I ask. "Most are to protect the patient. But some, like your dad's is unlocked." He says. He leads down the hall to the end room, knocks softly, and opens the door. My dad is sitting in a chair facing out the bar covered window. His face is expressionless and his eyes are swollen from crying. His skin is white as snow. He is wearing a Johnny and is slightly opened in the back showing his bandages. I place my hand to my mouth in shock fighting back tears. Adam can sense my discomfort, puts his arm around my shoulder, and says, "You got to be brave babe, for your dad." "I know but the shock of appearance caught me off guard," I say. "He looks so frail and helpless sitting there just starring." I turn to the doctor and ask, "Does he know I am here doc?" "He does but in his condition nothing matters to him right now but his pain for your other dad," he says. "His grief is so intense that nothing else matters to him but his loss." The doctor walks over to my dad and puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Kyle your son is here to see you." He shifts his gaze towards me for a moment and returns it to the window. I walk over to him, kneel down in front him, take his hands in mine, lift them up, and kiss them. I lift my eyes to his empty ones and say, "Dad it's me, Dylan. Dad I love you and need you to come back to me, dad." Again, his gaze shifts to me for a brief moment and returns it to the window. I lay my head on his lap and cry, deep hard sobs until I feel his hand on my head gently stroking my hair. I lift my head to face him and he is looking at me and says, "Don't cry my son, not for me but for my Joshua. I am so sorry for putting you through this pain but I cannot go on without him son. He was my life, the very air I breathed. How can do you continue without your heart? How does one continue without love, a love that sustained the very beating of your heart." He looks deeply into my eyes and says, "Forgive me my precious son for the pain I have caused you but I can not, will not go on without the man I lived my life for." He then shifts his gaze again to the window and stares. "But dad, what of my life, I need you also dad," I pleaded. "Its not fare to think of just yourself dad. He wouldn't have wanted you to do this. He told you many times when he knew that the cancer was beating him that he wanted you to go on and be happy again." "Happy! How can I be happy and go on without my bud? How does one survive without that which sustained them in life." He said still staring out the window with that far away blank expression on his face. "Would you have wanted him to do this if circumstances had been reversed," I asked. "Would you have wanted him to throw away his life just because he missed you?" He was silent for a long moment and then turned to me and said, "Have you ever been in love my son? He asked me. "A deep, give up your life for them love? How can you ask me to but aside my grief and go on in life if you have never had that kind of life." "Dad I know that kind of love. Adam is my life and has been since I was sixteen," I tell him. He turns to me and then Adam and for just a second I recognize the man who is my dad. "Yes dad, Adam and I are very much in love and have been for some time. I would lay down my life for this man and he for me," I tell him while reaching out my hand towards Adam. He rushes over to my side and takes my hand in his and says, "Its true Uncle Kyle, our love is no different than what you and Uncle Josh had," he says with emotion in his voice. "I would also give my life so that Dylan could live. He is more than the air I breathe; his is my very heart that sustains my life." I look up at Adam and for the first time I realize that we have revealed our true feelings for each other to my dad. My dad turns and looks at me says, "I can see the love I had for my bud in your eyes for Adam. Know son that, that love will not only give you great joy but also sorrow. That kind of love knows no dept; it is a bottomless love that grows larger each day. My son, relish that love, let it envelope you until you can hold no more, and then let grow even greater until you can not tell where you end and he begins." He says and for a brief moment, he smiles that grin that always got its way with dad. "Bud's death is so hard because it showed me were he ended and I began. All our years together, I never was I and he was not he. We were we; a dynamic team that sustained all that life threw at us. Our love could move mountains and could conquer the most difficult of problems. Son I hope you and Adam find that kind of love and never, ever take it for granted because in an instant it can be gone. Now I am tired son and want to rest. Please don't grieve for me, but let your love for Bud and I fertilize the love you have for Adam. I love you Dylan and even though you think me, selfish now I will survive because you were right. Bud would not have wanted me to let our love die but let it sustain me until we are together again. Thank you son and you also Adam for helping me see what I would loose. Now kiss your dad, go home, and let me rest. I will be all right with time and this good doctor's help." We gave him a kiss and hug and told him we would be back tomorrow and left. Before we had walked out the door he said, "Son on my nightstand is a picture of us that was taken at Woodstock. Would you bring it to me please," he asks. "Yeah dad I know the one. It's the one with that stupid grin that dad couldn't resist." I tell him. "You know dad, Adam has that same grin." "I do not," Adam says. "That's my charm babe." He laughs and walks out the door holding my hand. We got home and sat for the longest time just holding each other and kissing. I felt like a teenager in love for the first time. Adam turns me to face him, looks in my eyes, and says, "Did you mean those things you said about our love to your dad?" "Of course, I meant every word I spoke." I told him. "I know that we didn't have time last night to speak our heart, but babe, you are my love and life. I have felt that way since I was sixteen and thought the world revolved around you." I drew him in and kissed him hard, long and passionately. Adam just sat there with his grin and looked at me until he said, "You know I hope that we have the kind of love our dads had. I have loved you since I was fifteen. You had such a cute little way of needing help and you always came to me for it. I can't say whether we will have a long life together but I do know that whatever God gives us I will love only you my love." He kissed me with a kiss that would have made the gods jealous. We talked later about my dad and if he would recover. I mentioned bringing the journal to him and let him read some of the things Josh wrote. We decided to go over to Adam's house and tell his dads about our love and update them on my dad. When we got there, Michael greeted me with a hug and kisses and asked how dad was. I told him about how they had moved him and how despondent he was. Then when we had both of them together we told them about us. "We want to share something with you both," Adam said. They looked at each other and then back at us. "Dylan and I are a couple now and we have pledged our love to each other until we can marry." He said with that grin on his face. He looked like a kid in a candy store he was so excited. They both got up and gave us a big hug and kiss and told us, "We always knew you two would end up together. The way you were both so inseparable growing up we just knew. We are so happy for you both and just wish that Josh could have been here to share this happy moment." Michael was almost crying and Steven just laughed and said, "my God Michael you get so dramatic over the funniest things," and we all laughed. "We have to have a party for you both, a reception type party," Michael said. "Not yet please Uncle Mike," I said. "Lets wait until my dad is better and he to can enjoy our love." "Your right Dylan we can have it as soon as he recovers." He said. "I am so happy for you both that I want to tell the world." Adam and I stayed for dinner and then headed back to my house. We had a bittersweet day because of dad's mental condition and it totally wiped us out. We were in bed by nine and asleep shortly after. The telephone rang at one-thirty and it was the hospital. "Dylan this is Dr. McMillan calling," he said. "Your father has suffered a heart attack and is in critical condition," he told me. "His outlook is not good and I think you should come right over. He is in the Cardiac Unit on the third floor, room ten." "Dylan what's wrong babe," Adam asked me. "Dad has had a heart attack and it doesn't look good." I tell him. "I need to get to the hospital Adam." We dressed and got to the hospital within an hour after the call. Dad's doctor met us and he told us that a heart specialist had been called in. The outlook was not good because of dad's mental state the doctor told us. He told us that dad was resting comfortably and was somewhat awake. We went in and dad had all kinds of tubes and wires keeping him alive. I looked at him and kissed his forehead and said, "Dad I am here with you and I love you dad." He opened his eyes and tried to speak but the tube in his mouth made it impossible. "Don't speak dad I know you love me," I said. What I was about to say took every bit of strength I owned. "Dad look at me please. I know you miss Josh and I know you want to be with him. I love you and I understand how you feel now. Adam and I are a couple dad and if you are holding on just for me dad.you don't have to. Adam is here for me and will take care of me dad. So if you want to let go and be with Josh you can go with my blessing and love dad." I said with tears in my eyes running down my cheeks. Adam was behind me holding me close as dad smiled and closed his eyes and died. The doctor and nurse came running when the heart monitor started to beep signaling that dad's heart had stopped beating. The doctor looked at me and I said, "Don't try to revive him please; he is with his Bud now and happy." I cried so hard and thought I would never stop. Adam just held me tight and caressed me saying, "He is in a better place now love. He is with your other dad and they are complete again." "I know," I said between sobs. "But it doesn't make it any easier." I bent down, kissed dad softly on his forehead, and told him that I loved him and to give my love to daddy Josh. My heart hurt so much I thought it would break. "Take me home Adam, please," I said to him. "Can you have the funeral home come and pick up my dad and do the same for him as they did for Josh," I asked the doctor. "I will Dylan and please accept my deepest condolences." He said. Adam took me home and I called the funeral home and told them that I wanted the service as soon as possible for both my dads. I told them that was to be cremated and that I would like together in the same urn. They told me that my first dad had been cremated already and his ashes were there and that they would add my other dad's ashes to them. I thanked them and Adam and I went for a nap, this day had been so exhausting mentally that I needed to sort out my thoughts. I felt melancholy about telling my dad it was ok to go to my other dad. I knew he wanted to but it still hurt me to say it. Adam has been a great comfort through all this. He has been my support and strength. I fell asleep in Adam's arms and slept through to the next day. When I woke up the pain woke with me. It strangled me. I screamed out for Adam when I couldn't find him and he came running almost immediately. "What's the matter babe?" He asked. "I could not find you and I thought I had lost you also," I cried. "You could never loose me babe, I am here for you and always will be." He said hugging me and kissing me softly on the lips. He brought me a cup of coffee and asked if I was hungry. I told him no the coffee was fine. I got up, took a shower, and felt at least revived by it. I dressed and went downstairs to the living room and found Adam sitting there with another man. He was tall and in a dark blue business suit. As I walked in he rose and extended his hand saying, "Good Morning, my name is Brian Campbell. I was your dads lawyer for years," he said. "I have brought his will over to review it with you. As you know, your dad Joshua left everything to your dad Kyle. Now in his will he leaves everything to you young man." "I guess I knew that," I said asking if I could get him a drink. "No thank you I am fine," he said. "I figured you knew you would be his heir but do you know the exact extent and value of his estate," he asked. "No sir I don't think so," I said. "I figured that had to be around a couple of hundred thousand dollars," I added. "Sir, your dads together were worth in excess of three hundred million dollars. That is not counting their stocks and bonds that they held in a safety deposit box at the Royal Bank on Bloor Street in town," he said. "Excuse me I thought I heard you say millions," I asked. "Yes sir three hundred ninety seven thousand four hundred eleven dollars." He said with a smile. "He, Kyle, was principle stock holder in his late mothers manufacturing business. Now those stocks revert to you and makes you the largest share holder." "Oh my.oh I don't.can't comprehend." I was totally tongue- tied. He also left you a house on Martha's Vineyard, ah.lets see.oh yes here it is, a eighteen room Victorian in Oak Bluff on Martha's Vineyard. I believe it belonged to your dad Joshua's family and of course your dad's vacation home in Hawaii. So young man you are very well of for a man of twenty seven," he said. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to do with such wealth. I knew though, that I would give it all up just to have both of my dads back. Mr. Campbell stood and offered his hand and bid us good day. He said that I could stop by his office at my convenience and sign the necessary papers. We showed him to the door and went back into the living room. "Can you believe what Mr. Campbell said," I said looking at Adam. "Babe your dads were savvy business men and they amassed millions. You won't ever have to worry again about money babe." "I know but it is still such a shock," I said. "This is going to take some getting use to," I added. "I never imagined being a millionaire love. What does one do with over three hundred million dollars?" "Anything they want to," he said with a touch of humor to his voice. "Well I need to meet with the funeral director today and make arrangements for my dad's service. I also need to place the obituary with the Toronto Star and the Columbus Dispatch. I had already placed the obituary for Josh with the Springfield Republican on Monday after he died. This way their friends from the states would know of their passing." I explained. "Later I want to read some more in dad's journal. It makes me feel like I was there with them and close to them." "I would enjoy reading it with you if I may babe," he asked. "If you may or course you may. Adam lets get this straight right now. I pledged my love to you forever babe and I hope you meant to keep your pledge also. You are my family and life now and I wouldn't have it any other way." I told him in a tone that he knew that I meant business. "Of course I meant every word I said last night love. I just thought that now." "Now that I had money I wouldn't want you," I interrupted. "Well.yes.I guess." He said sadly. "I am the same person now that I was last night, just a few dollars richer." I said taking him in my arms and kissing him. "Besides, I need someone to keep me grounded. Now I want to take you to bed and have you make love to me babe. Ever fuck a millionaire," I ask pushing him over unto the sofa and running for the bedroom. "You little shit I'm going to get you and fuck that cute ass of your real good," he says. One year later. I was sitting in my study typing when Adam came in and stood behind and nuzzled my neck. He was reading over my shoulder as well and after awhile he said, "What the fuck are you writing?" "I'm putting together a story based on some of the journal entries dad had made," I told him. "There are quite a few entries here with your parents included and some are quite hilarious. Here is one for instance." 'July 1976- Fourth of July Celebration. We had decided to join Steven and Michael up at the lake house they rented for a barbecue and to just relax. Kyle has been out straight with classes and now in summer school we hardly get any us time anymore. We haven't had sex now in three weeks and my ass is growing back its virginity. When Steven called and invited us to spend the four-day weekend with them up at the lake I accepted before talking to Kyle. We arrived about six-thirty on Friday and the car was packed. Mike came out to greet us with a hug and kiss. We unloaded the car and put our things away, I joined Mike in the kitchen while Kyle, and Steve headed outside. Mike and I started to talk about things and I said, "You know Kyle and I have not had a minute to ourselves in weeks. Why we haven't had sex in three and my ass feels like a virgin again. He is so busy with summer classes trying to finish his degree early that he has completely forgotten that I am around. I know he wants to finish early and get a jump on the kids that will graduate a year later but I am afraid he is going to burn himself out." "Why don't you let me take care of Dylan, he can play with Adam and you two go for a walk in the woods. There is a path that leads to an old lean to that is quite secluded if you know what I mean," he tells me. "You don't mind, we just got here and now we go wandering off," I say. "Don't be silly, I know what its like to be horny and can't find the time to get off, now go," he says pushing me out the door. "Oh and send Steve in ok," he adds. "Sure thing hun, and thanks I owe you one," I tell him hurrying out the door. "Hey Steve, Michael wants to see you a moment," I tell him. As soon as Steve is gone, I grab Kyle's hand and lead him off into the woods. "Where are we going bud," he asks. "You'll see babe, now just be quiet and follow me," I tell him and give him a wink. We walk for about two miles and come across the lean to that Mike had told me about. It was still in somewhat good condition and had a few platforms that could be used as beds. I pulled Kyle over to one of the platforms and sat down in front of him. I unbuckle his belt and shorts and pull down the zipper. His shorts fall to the ground and he says, "Is this cool right here, what if someone comes across us," he asks. "Mike told me about this place and told me to go for it. Besides you have not given me any in over three weeks and my cherry is growing back," I tell him with determination in my voice. He steps out of his shorts, I remove his boxers, and he steps out of them. He is fucking naked and he watches me as I undress. He takes me in his arms and kisses me and then says, "Bud this is just like Woodstock babe. Being naked and outdoors like this in the open." "Yeah some, but a few thousand people less," I tell him and again we kiss. I drop down to my knees and start to suck on his large man cock; oh, it feels so good in my mouth. It takes about ten seconds for it to get steel hard. I swallow it into my throat and he says, "Bud you better stop or I'm going to cum soon." I keep on sucking and begin to feel his cock head swell. "Oh fuck Bud don't stop I'm cumming. Oh fuck.so good.so fucking good babe." He says between gasps of air. Click. "Mmmmmm," I moan with a mouth full of cock. He explodes into my mouth and his sweet fucking man seed flows down my throat, 'mmmmm good. Fuck you Campbell Soup' I think to myself as I swallow all he has to offer. Click. He pulls me to my feet and kisses me tasting his own cum. He lays me down on the platform, gets between my legs, and goes down on my cock. "Oh fuck that feels so fucking good babe," I say with my head moving from side to side. "We have to make time for us more often babe, oh yeah just like that babe. Another minute and my nut is dumping down his throat. "Oh fuck babe, don't stop I have so much cum for you," I yell out in ecstasy. Click. I finish and he climbs up onto my chest and gives me a taste of my own cum with the most passionate kiss he has ever given me. "I love you so fucking much Bud." He says. "You make my world rock the way you love me." "And you are my morning and night love," I tell him. "Your love makes days and nights so worth living babe. I love you so much babe." Click. We get dressed and slowly walk back to the camp stopping every so many feet to kiss and hug. 'God life is so fucking good' I say to myself and smile at man who is leading me back hand in hand. We get back and have a great dinner. We sit around a fire that Steve has started and watch the stars slowly fill the night sky. I am leaning against Kyle and Mike is leaning against Steve just chilling in our love for each other. The next morning we get up and when I go into the kitchen there on the cupboard doors are Polaroid pictures of us having sex in the woods. I blush as I look at them and wonder when, how, who could have done this. When I hear a laugh from behind me; it's Steven and Michael and they are laughing so hard at my embarrassment. Kyle comes into the room naked and says, "What's so funny out here?" "Babe look.hell you're naked babe what the fuck are you doing?" I ask looking so shocked at his appearance. "To hot and humid to wear clothes so I thought I would go naked seeing how we are in the middle of nowhere." He says with a grin. "Sounds good," Steve says and starts to strip. Michael is staring in complete shock and then says, "Oh what the fuck Josh lets go," and he starts to strip also. I am the only one still dressed looking at my lover man and two best friends standing there naked and says, "Well if you all are going to go naked I might as well join you," and I to undress. "Wait one fucking minute here," I say in a perplexed tone. "Who took these pictures of us yesterday in the lean to." "I did," says Steve with a shit-eating grin. "I just got this new Polaroid camera and wanted to try it out and well when Michael told me where you were going and why, well I decided to try it out on you two. Nice shots, no pun intended," he says and laughs again. We all start to laugh and I take the pictures down and say, "Souvenirs of our weekend, thanks guys." "Wow, I never knew about that weekend, did you bud," Adam says with a smile on his face. "No but it sure sounded like they had a great time doesn't it." "Yeah it does," he says and adds, "remind me to mention that weekend to my dads. I think you writing about their life together will make for great and amusing reading babe. Hey are you keeping a journal about us babe," he asks with a suspicious look in his eyes. "Maybe but you will not find out until you are real old lover," I muse. This ends the story of Josh and Kyle and the saga of Dylan and Adam begins with 'Adam's Rib'. I hope you have enjoyed my first attempt at writing and please, let me know what you think. Randy.