Date: Sun, 16 Mar 2003 06:51:45 -0800 (PST) From: JMH Subject: The Watch/The Watch 4 Well folks it's time for the moment many of you have been waiting for, the secret of "The Watch" gets revealed in this chp and I have to warn you that it is a shocker. So once again I better raise my hate mail shield up.....good, a nice thick skin. All jokes aside, this chp does deal with some serious issues but I hope that all of you still enjoy it. Again, this is a story about gay relationships so 1. if you are breaking the law, underage, or just hate gay stuff don't read any further. The world wide web is a big place so you can find something else. 2. As this story came from my imagination, everything is a big lie. The story is not based on any real person place thing, or another person's idea. So any similarities are pure chance. 3. Since this story is of my own creation, I have the copyright to it. No other postings, except at nifty, are allowed. Nor is the selling of the story to others permitted. Enjoy! JMH (just might happen) trandar2002@yahoo.com *********************************************************************** Robert woke up earlier then he had the day before, around 7:30, but he felt as if his mind had gotten no sleep. He had nightmares of Josh lying in his arms dying, blood everywhere with Josh repeating the same phrase over and over again; "I'm sorry." Robert showered and got dressed this time without the sexual escapade that had mark the day before. Robert was too sad even for sex. When he finally left his room he smelled food coming from down stairs. This he took as a good sign, at least Josh was out and about. His watch was also gone from the doorknob. When he finally reached the kitchen, Josh was cooking what looked like potato pancakes from the left over mash potatoes. "Hi," Josh said half spirited, his face red and puffy from evident crying. "Hi Josh. I'm...I'm sorry about yesterday. I should respect your privacy." "You were just worried about me is all. I do look a little freaky always looking at my watch." "No Josh, I shouldn't have done what I did." "Lets just forget it." Josh said his voice a little strained. "All right." Robert agreed. "For now at least." He mentally added. Breakfast was a little strained but they were able to make light chatter about work. "Well thanks for the breakfast Josh." Robert said when they were both done. "No problem." Josh said with a half smile. "Thanks also for smiling. I don't think you know how good it looks on your face." This brought on a wider grin on Josh's face. "Well since the office is closed and we have nothing better to do why don't I finally take you to the gym." "Sure, I guess." "Great." "But did you bring cloths to work out in?" "No, but I told you, I pay a half grand a month to have my own private exercise room there. It includes laundry service so I just keep my cloths there." "Oh... ok." "So just get your stuff and we can go!" Robert said in an attempt to motivate Josh who still had an uncertain look on his face Josh let Robert drive the car since he knew the way. It turned out to be an exercise club that was a part of a 30-story glass and steel building that included a bank, investment firm and for those after hours activities a steakhouse and a bar. Robert guided Josh to the elevators and took him to the third floor where the entrance for the exclusive members was located. A young woman dressed in a business suit instead of the usual gym outfit greeted them at the desk and handed Robert a package containing his cleaned cloths. She then asked him if he wanted to change his set up but Robert said what he had was fine but that he wanted a trainer to take a look at Josh and for a masseuse to come by after three hours. After typing all the info on her computer she said that the trainer would be by in an hour and then pushed the button to let them in. The door lead to a hallway lined with glass that looked down on the main exercise room two stories below. As they walked down the hallway Robert explained how the gym worked. "Each of these rooms are 20x20 and can fit almost any of the machines found on the first floor including a nautilus but you have to give them a few day's warning for that to be moved in. I mostly keep just free weights, a treadmill, a rowing machine, and an exercise bike in the room. If I want to use anything else I go down to the main floor. Each room has their own bathroom and shower and I had a three-person sauna put in last year. You don't have to worry about water, the room comes stocked with refreshments and each room has its own environmental controls. I could almost use it to blow dry my hair if I wanted to." Robert showed off. "But why bother with such an expense?" "Well I like exercising by myself but I don't want all the stuff cluttering my apartment. It gives me a good excuse to get out and I have to admit that it's a little of a guy magnet." "Ahh!" Josh smiled, as he finally understood. He had heard a few of the rumors of Robert's sexual exploits. He had even heard a few of the rumors about Robert and him being a couple. He knew this should have bothered him but he actually found it liberating. Why be afraid about being found out if everyone already thinks your gay. At least they thought they were a cute couple. Only a few malcontents said bad things about Josh. Josh thought didn't care. He had worked hard to make himself indispensable to the firm. "Well." Robert coughed, a little embarrassed. "Here we are." The room was as large as Robert had said with a raised ceiling that rose to the floor above. The walls were a creamy tan color. The equipment that Robert had mentioned was all there but there was also a massage table on one side of the room and a television held up against the far wall. As soon as Robert closed the door he ripped open the package that contained only three pairs of black jock straps. "I hope you don't mind," Robert grinned a little guilty. "Another advantage to having your own room is that you can wear whatever you want." "I see." Josh was able to say as Robert began stripping down right in front of him. "Oh boy." Josh thought as his dick began to rise. "Are you going to change?" Robert laughed with a wicked grin. He saw Josh move his hands so they now covered what Robert correctly guessed was a hard on. But like most things in life, Robert found the direct approach the best. "Let me help you." Robert moved so that Josh was pinned between him and the now closed door. He worked one hand through Josh's weak defense and got a firm grip on Josh's hard cock. "Josh what do you think this means." He said seriously as he gave Josh a squeeze. "I..." Josh tried to say but couldn't. "Josh it only means one thing. It means you love me. Is love evil Josh. Is love wrong." "...No." Josh whispered. "No it's not." Robert then grabbed Josh's limp right hand and slid it into his jock so Josh could feel what effect he was having on him." "Josh I want you to feel me and understand how I feel about you. I love you Josh." Josh allowed his finger to brush against Robert's dick and touch the dampness coming from his precum. He then allowed himself to fulfill his urges. He removed his damp fingers from Robert's jock and took them into him mouth, tasting the salty fluid. "I... I love you too Robert." Josh said after he had removed his fingers. The two men then embraced each other. Josh grabbed around the shoulders while Robert wrapped his arms around Josh's neck. Both men were crying in finally hearing what they always wanted. Robert let his tears fall onto Josh's shoulder while Josh let his soak Robert's chest. Robert then lowered his arms and lifted Josh up by his butt raising the 5'10" man up to Robert's height. The two men looked into their red eyes and then to Robert surprise, Josh made the first move. He darted his head forward and slammed his lips against Robert's. In surprise Robert opened his mouth and was greeted to a new treat as Josh's tongue entered him. Their tongue dueled for supremacy but eventually Robert entered Josh's mouth. While Robert was in ecstasy, Josh was almost hysterical. All the emotional pressure built up over the years came rushing out like a flood. His legs collapsed and Josh fell to the floor. For a second Robert was sure that Josh was angry at him but Josh wrapped both his arms around Robert's leg like he was clinging to the mast of a ship in a storm. Robert was glad that the room was sound proof because Josh's wailing would of panic anyone who heard it, tears dripping from his eyes and on to his wrists. It was then that Robert finally understood his dream. It was not the watch that Josh looked at but what was underneath it. Josh carried not just emotional scars but physical ones as well. Robert joined Josh on the floor and held him close to him. "It'll be alright Josh." He said soothingly. "I love you Robert... I love you." Josh kept on repeating as he rested his head against him. "I know Josh. It's ok. You never have to fear loving me but promise me Josh, you must NEVER hurt yourself again." Josh's eyes went wide on hearing this but he nodded his head that he understood. Robert continued to cradle Josh in his arms, rocking him back and forth until Josh had calmed down. Though his face was now flushed he looked so peaceful as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. Robert stared down into his eyes and saw all the pain that had been there before was now gone. Instead of being masked by self-hate, the love that had always been hiding underneath was now free for the world to see. After a while Robert slowly helped Josh up and led him to the shower. It was large enough for both of them to get under the two showerheads. The shower was a cleansing away of the many tears Josh had shed over the years and for Robert it was an end to the loneliness he had always felt. It was a baptism of their love. They each took turns washing each other with the washcloth taking extra attention to each other's face as if to etch the form in their minds using their hands as their eyes. The redness slowly left their eyes so that they could look at each other without seeing the signs of what had just happened. After shutting off the water they remained there and just held each other knowing that it was finally ok for them to do so. "Lets come back tomorrow. I want to get you back home." Robert finally said. "All right." Josh quietly agreed. All he wanted right now was to be with Robert. The two got dressed in silence and left before the trainer arrived. As they headed out the doors Robert made a quick apology and said he would reschedule later. When they arrived to the car, Robert took the keys from Josh and took the driver's seat. He still was unsure on how stable Josh was and he also wanted to take Josh to HIS apartment and not back to the house. Surrounding Josh with reminders of his family was not in Robert's view the best thing for Josh now. Josh didn't protest when Robert started heading to his apartment, which was on the other side of the river in Missouri. He remained quite during the whole drive as if he too was deep in thought. He must have been because half was to the apartment he opened he window and threw his watch out, never looking to see where it landed. Robert gave Josh a smile and grabbed his now watch-less scarred wrist and kissed it. A little of the nervous edge returned to Josh it but he also gave Robert an understanding half smile. It would take time for the emotional scars to heal but now that they had removed the secrets between them the healing could begin. ******************************************************* It's when you think things couldn't get any stranger that life works overtime to prove you wrong. As Robert and Josh exited the elevator Robert was nearly scared to death when he saw his old trick Dan knocking on his door. "Dan, what are you doing here?" "Oh Robert, sorry I just wanted to apologize for not returning your phone calls." "No problem. Dan... I would like you to meet Josh." "Hi Josh." Dan at first said casually until he heard what he had said. "You mean Josh, Josh!" Dan said in disbelief. "Yes the real Josh!" Robert beamed in pride. 'Wow, so he's REAL!" Dan said before he could stop himself while Josh gave Robert an inquisitive look. Robert for his part blushed in embarrassment. "I'm so happy for you Robert." Dan beamed. "Thanks." Robert said in a tone that begged Dan to let him out of this awkward situation. "You have to tell me the whole story when you have the time. Well I better go. Bye." "I think I'll need to hear the whole story too." Josh laughed after Robert's energetic friend hopped onto the elevator. "Well I think that'll be a long story." Robert sighed, still embarrassed. "Well I don't plan on leaving you any time soon." "You seem to be very understanding Josh." "Robert, my problems with me being gay was exactly that MY problem. I never had a problem with other's being gay or being sexually active. It was...it was just that I couldn't accept it for myself and THAT is definitely a long story I don't wasn't to go into just now." "Well as I think you might have guessed, Dan was one of my tricks except when I had sex with him it was your name I would call out." "I see." "Yeah, I did that to a lot of guys. You're actually a legend in the local gay community. If I'm not careful they might come after you just to find out what the big deal was about." "Well that's one problem I think you'll never have to worry about." "I wouldn't count on that Josh." Robert said seriously. "What do you mean?" "Josh you are a "newbie" it is almost your fate that you will want to explore your sexuality with more then just one man. I don't even know many straight people who only had sex with just one person in their life." "I really don't want another person then you Robert." "I'm glad to hear it. I just don't want you to think that I'm the only man out there that can make you happy. You'd be cutting yourself short if you did." "Thanks Robert but I don't think I'm cutting myself short with you. Its more like I won the lottery." "Same here. Well shall we go in?" "Yep. I want to see this famous bed of yours." Josh laughed They reached the door and Robert unlocked it but before letting Josh inside he lifted him up in his arms so he could carry him across the threshold. He carried him through the living room and to the bedroom where he tried to make his way in the darkness of the faint morning light that came into the room via the thick drapes to the bed. As soon as he felt his knees touch the mattress he lowered Josh on to it before hoping in himself. Robert spooned up against Josh, wrapping his arms around his waist,, pull Josh closer to him and allowing Robert to kiss the back of Josh's neck. All that crying must of worn the both of them out cause soon they were both asleep. When Robert finally awoke, his natural response was to hug Josh tighter, waking him in the process. "Sorry," Robert apologized as Josh turned around to face him." "No problem. I can't think of many other ways I would like to be waken up with." Josh returned. "Josh we need to talk." Robert said seriously. "About what?" "About what kind of relationship we are going to have." "Your talking about Terry, aren't you." "Yes." "I don't know what to do about that." Josh replied truthfully. "I don't either. I think you should have a real honest talk with her." "I'm afraid of loosing you Robert but I'm also afraid of loosing Nate." "I just realized something." Robert admitted. "You seem to be the only one to call Nathan, Nate." "Well yes. Terry wanted to name him Eric but I sort of insisted that he be named Nate." "Why?" "Because...because that was the name of my brother. I guess I was trying to recreate my old family by naming my son after him. His name was also Nathan but as a little kid I always had problems with the "th" sound so I called him Nate. "Does Terry know this?" "Yes." "You know that Terry loves you Josh." "I know." "She feels she owes you a lot and I think would never do anything to hurt you." "You know something I don't?" Josh realized. "We talked." Robert answered. "I see." "All she wants is for you to be happy Josh and she knows that Nathan is one of those things that makes you happy. She would never do anything to take that away from you." "I know... and I guess she knows about you as well." "Yes, she knows or hopes that I too can make you happy." "Robert I hope you don't mind but I would like to refrain from having sex until this all gets sorted out." "No problem... but would it be ok if I kept you with me in bed." Robert asked with puppy eyes. "I would like that. I don't think I would like sleeping alone tonight." "Well its still early. How about I call in some dinner before we call it an evening." "But we still have all that turkey left over back at the house." Josh said. "I'll be honest with you Josh. While Terry's bird is one of the best I've ever had, I've never been fond of turkey. How about I call in some steaks." "Sure, why not. Most of the turkey will get used up when we made soup anyway." "Well I would like to heat you up in the Jacuzzi." Robert grinned as he began to tickle Josh. "Plan to make a meal out of me?" Josh surprised himself in saying. "You bet. Why don't you go to the bathroom while I order dinner. It will take them a good hour before it will arrive and so we will have plenty of time to soak." "No problem." Josh returned as he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. "Robert took a deep breath. It would be hard not to have sex with Josh as they both soaked in the tub but he was willing to give Josh the time and space he needed. He just was surprised on how easily Josh was now taking everything. It was just time morning that he seemed to be close to a mental break down but now he seemed happy and was even willing to flirt a bit with Robert. Robert heard the water running from the bathroom before he got up and went to the phone to order dinner. He called up a delivery service and got two 16 oz New York strip steaks, two dinner salads, an order of gratin potatoes, and a side of asparagus. He even went and ordered dessert, fried ice cream with fudge brownies but he committed himself that he would try to exercise it off the next day. With the order placed, Robert went back to the bedroom and stripped before joining Josh in the bathroom. Pink marble tile stairs that led up to it surrounding the sunken tub. The tub was ten feet in length, three feet across, and three feet deep in the center. When Robert entered, the tub was about half way filled. Josh was naked and sitting in the side of the tub his hand testing the temp of the water. Robert looked at Josh's limp cock nestled in a wreath of brown hair. The skin was pale compared to the rest of his body making it look like he was still wearing a pair of white briefs. Robert had to control a smirk at seeing the tan line. It was proof that Josh, the farm boy, had some vanity in him, as the tan would not of occurred unless Josh went to a tanning booth during the cold winter months. Robert went and sat next to Josh, letting his hand dip into the rising water and giving Josh a small splash triggering a small water fight between the two. In the end, Robert pushed Josh down into the now full tub with him falling after him. It might have been by chance but when Josh finally came up for air, he found Robert's prick pressed against his thigh, rapidly growing. His own dick was also quickly coming to attention press between his body and Robert's stomach. Both of them had nervous looks on their faces not know how far the other wanted to go. It was Josh who made the first move, reaching behind Robert's neck and pulling him into a kiss. Robert, with a dumb founded look on his face took this move as a sign for him to take it further. He rolled off Josh and moved up close to his side with his arm wrapped around Josh's shoulder. He then took his other hand and grabbed Josh's, which shook in his grip. He lowered it back into the water and allowed the fingertips to brush against his cock. Josh's lips were trembling so Robert tried to calm him by kissing those lips. It seemed to do the trick. Instead of worrying about what was happening Josh just concentrated on ho good it felt to have Robert pressed against his mouth. When the kiss was finally released Robert whispered; "Grab it," in a manner that was part desire and part demand. Josh took a few deep breaths before wrapping his fingers around the top of Roberts cock, rolling his fingers as if he were playing a scale on a piano. Robert then put his hand on top of Josh's, tightening Josh's grip and keeping his nervous fingers still. He then slowing guided Josh's hand to slowly stroke his hard dick." "That's it Josh. We are going to go nice and slow." Robert encouraged. Josh sighed and allowed himself to sink a little deeper into the hot water. Robert then released his hand and for a second Josh stopped his stokes but he soon pick them up again. Josh was now floating on his back with one hand holding on to the side of the tub while his other hand held on to Robert. Robert pulled Josh toward him so that Josh was floating perpendicular to Robert. He then wrapped one hand underneath him to hold him up as he used his other hand to rub Josh's washboard stomach. He started high where the ribs join together but slowly made his way down until his hand rested between the belly button and the start of Josh's pubic hair. He let the very tips of his finger rub against the course hair at times letting the hair get trapped between his fingers and giving them a little pull. He did this until he pulled a little to hard and Josh folded up, His head and legs shot out of the water but his mid section sunk like a rock, right onto Robert's cock. That surprise had Josh standing up in a second, a worried look on his face. Robert quickly got up and hugged the nervous Josh, apologizing to him for the abrupt surprise. "Sorry about that Josh." "No problem. I just wasn't expecting that." Josh said. "How about we take a shower instead." Robert said, thinking that it would have to be a cold one. "That would be great." The two of them got out of the tub and at first Robert stood outside the glass shower, letting Josh wash off by himself but then Josh opened the door and reached out an arm to pull Robert in. As soon as Robert was in, Josh walked behind him and began to wash his back. "That feels real nice Josh." Robert sighed. "I feel like I owe you an explanation." Josh returned. "What is it?' Robert asked as he tried to turn around but Josh held him in place. "Robert... I love you but I still have problems with being gay. It still very hard for me to accept." "I know Josh." Robert returned sadly. He rightly guessed that Josh didn't want him to see him upset and was therefore staying behind him. "I want to believe that being in a gay relationship will bring me happiness and I believe its possible since you bring me so much happiness..." "But..." Robert filled the blank. "I need to be convinced Robert that I'm doing the right thing. Giving up my family for this unknown life." "I understand Josh." "I want to take my time at this but I know that if it were just up to me I might never come to terms with how I feel about you." "What can I do to help?" "I don't want you to push me into anything I'm not ready for but I ...I don't want you to let me ignore how you and I feel." "I think I understand Josh. You don't want me to force you into anything but you want be to try to convince you that it's all right to do these things." "Yes." Josh said nervously, not sure if Robert would be convinced that this was something he needed. Robert thought about it for a minute before answering. "You want me to seduce you, to drown you in so much love that you will have no choice but to accept it." "I guess so." Josh replied lowing his hands from Robert's back. Robert took this opportunity to turn around and face Josh. "I can do that Josh but it will never work if you don't learn to accept the love given you. No matter how much people tell you that they like you, if you don't believe it they are just wasting their breath." "I know." "...I'll do it Josh but you just need to promise me that you will try to seduce me as well. A relationship is a two way street. Just as I'm trying to talk you into living with me, I also want to feel that you want me to do so." Josh thought hard for a moment before deciding. "Then Robert if you will let me, I would like to move in with you." Josh said with conviction. "You really mean it?" Robert asked excitedly. "Yes." "What about your family?" "I'll still spend the evening at home but it's here that I want to sleep." "I promise that I will do whatever is needed to make this work." Robert promised as he hugged Josh. "No Robert, it is me that needs to promise. I've been a little shit about everything, acting afraid to be with you. I just need some time. I will sleep with you. I want to sleep with you but we can't SLEEP together. If you know what I mean." "You mean we can sleep in the same bed but no sex." "Yes. I'm... I'm going to have to think about what I'm going to do about Terry. I love her. She has been my best friend for many years. I can't betray my vow to her." "I think that all she wants is for you to be happy Josh." Robert said. "I know that too. She worries about me a lot. I don't want to give her any more heart ache." "She knows about the scar on your wrist?" "Yes. She was the one who found me." "Will you tell me why you did it?" "I'm not ready yet Robert. I'm sorry. All I can tell you is that I will never do it again. I will never hurt Terry or you like that again." "I know Josh." Robert said as he wrapped his arms around him. "Just let me know when you're feeling bad. I can't help you if you don't tell me you're hurting." "I will try." Josh returned. One of the things that had taken him over the edge was his issue over being a problem for people. As long as no one knew something was wrong, there was no problem. It was still and issue Josh struggled with, being forthcoming about his feelings but if there was any chance for healing he needed to learn. They left the shower just as the doorbell rang. Robert rushed to wrap a towel around his waist and answered the door where a tall cute brunet greeted him. The delivery boy ogled Robert with his eyes and spent some extra time digging into his pocket for change after Robert paid the man. Robert also felt the towel tent as his dick rose. When he took his change, he was also handed a card that he was certain had the man's phone number on it. Robert returned the man's smile but not his wink as the man asked him to call for his services any time. Robert closed the door and sighed, he was still a horn dog. He loved Josh but he was still uncertain if he himself could handle a monogamous relationship. So many men and so little time until he became an over aged has been. Being wanted by many men had been his only measure of love. The more men he slept with the more he felt he was loved and popular. He knew deep down that this was a false belief and that Josh was offering him the closest thing to true love he had ever had the chance at. Even his relationship with Lance had been an open one. He just was insecure in himself and his place in Josh's heart. He was seven years older then Josh and once Josh got over his sexual hang ups he might want to go out with a younger, better looking man then Robert he feared. As Josh was insecure with himself, Robert was insecure with how people saw him. He was still the little boy looking for acceptance, for a family. He waited in the kitchen until his prick had subsided before calling Josh. Josh was now dressed in the cloths he had brought for the gym. It was a dark blue tank top and a pair of red running shorts. The blue brought out the blue of his eyes while the red added to the tanned complexion of his nearly hairless legs. This time Robert didn't feel bad about getting an erection and did nothing to hide it as he brought dinner to the table. "Dinner is served!" Robert laughed as he put the plates down and pulled off his towel to show his hard cock." Josh blushed in embarrassment but the meat he couldn't get his eyes off was not the steak on the plate before him but was the one swinging between Robert's legs. "Touch it Josh. It belongs to you now. Robert hissed as he moved it closer to Josh's face. Josh took a deep breath before he leaned forward and grabbed it with his fist. He didn't put it in his mouth but he rubbed the prong against his cheek letting a few drips of precum to be smeared there. "Josh I don't know how far you want to go but I really need to get off now." Robert sighed. "I know Robert. I just can't yet." Josh said as he looked at the ground. "It's all right. I'll be back in a sec." Robert went back to the bedroom and proceeded to jack himself off. He was struggling with Josh. He didn't want a reluctant lover but a willing a eager one. He felt that Josh wanted the same. He just didn't know how to break his shell. Thinking bout this was a major turnoff and soon Robert was holding a limp dick in his hands. That was until Josh came in the bedroom naked. "I'm sorry Robert. You deserve more then this." "You're right, I do.' Robert said with a hint of anger on his lips. "Robert... I want to trust you. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll try to do it." Robert remained silent for a moment. Josh was offering to do anything he wanted but he was also testing Robert to see if he would ask him to do something he couldn't do. It was a trust building exercise. Josh had to trust Robert and Robert had to trust that what he asked Josh to do would be something that Josh wanted to do." "Lay next to me." Was Robert's first request. Josh climbed up the foot of the bed and laid on his back next to Robert. "Turn and face me." Robert then asked. Josh turned over, a little embarrassed...his dick was hard. Robert gave him a reassuring smile before giving his next request. "Kiss me." Josh moved his head forward and gave a quick peck on the cheek. "Again." Robert asked. The kiss was almost the same except Robert was nearly certain that Josh's lips remained on his cheek a fraction of the second longer. "Again..." Robert repeated over and over. With each kiss, Josh became less nervous, less hesitant. The kisses increased in length and passion. Robert knew what he was doing. By having Josh kiss him over and over again the stress and fear associated with the act was worn away. There was a psychological term for this but Robert could not remember it. It was similar to having a person who is afraid of heights climb a ladder one step at a time. The person might start off on the first step and when he became comfortable with it he would climb the next step. Robert now felt that Josh was ready for the next step. "Now kiss me on the lips." He said. Josh hesitated for a second but then he let his lips gently touch Roberts. This time Josh did not move them but held them there, just touching. He didn't even allow himself to breath for when he released the kiss he had to gasp for air. "Doing all right?" "...Yes. Can I do it again?" "You don't even need to ask." Robert smiled. Josh took in a deep breath and went at it again. This time he let his lips wrap around Robert's lower lip even letting the tip of his tongue to touch it. When he let go of it this time, his face was red from holding his breath. "You can breath you know." Robert almost laughed. "I...I just don't want anything to break the moment." "All right, lets do it again but this time I'm going to put my hand on the back of your head so don't panic." Josh kissed him again just like the last time but when Robert bought his hand to bear Josh exhaled in surprise. Their lips were no longer touching but Robert kept Josh there hoping to make Josh comfortable to his touch. He held him there for several minutes before letting him go. "Was that all right?" Robert asked concerned. "Yes it was. I liked it actually." Now Robert was faced with a problem. He now wanted to explore Josh's mouth with his tongue but was uncertain if Josh was ready. He was in control but up to now Josh had control on how far to take things. He decided to continue playing things safe. "Josh this time I'm going to leave my mouth open. I want you to put your tongue in there as much as you are comfortable with." Josh nodded his head yes but Robert could see that he was nervous. The first try Josh only got his tongue as far half way past Robert's lips. He also held his breath the whole time. The second time, Josh didn't let his lips touch but he allowed himself to breath and let his tongue lick around the opening of Robert's mouth. The third time was the charm. Josh pressed his lips against Robert's and let his tongue slip into Robert's mouth, resting his tongue against Robert's. After the kiss, Josh climbed on top of Robert and rested his head on his chest. Robert took this as a sign that Josh had done enough for this go around. Robert let Josh fall asleep, letting his wavy brown hair move through his fingers. Robert enjoyed this moment of peace. Josh was going to be a large investment in time and patience but if things could be worked out the dividends could be huge.