Warning! This is a tale about men loving men. If you find this disturbing - click off. If it's unlawful for you to read this - click off. If you under age - good luck if you can get away with it.

This is not a story for getting your rocks off. Just thought I'd let you know, so you won't waste your time if that's what your looking for. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy my writing.

I appreciate feedback and do my best to respond to it all. I may be contacted at: J S.Collection@Verizon.Net

Those Golden Eyes

Chapter 53

Brian's dick ached. He'd been in the pool for over and hour. It had been hard from the moment they all started undressing. No one had paid any attention to it except Roger, who couldn't seem to keep his hands off of it once they were in the pool. He'd even gotten his mouth on it at one point with everyone around them. At least he thought it had been Roger. Brian made a point of staying in the pool until everyone else had gotten out.

Of course, with Brian staying in the water, Roger wasn't about to abandon him. Roger grinned at Brian, who was propped in the corner with his arms resting on the edge from across the pool, dove under and swam over to him. Brian saw him coming and started to cover himself then realized that he would sink if he let go of the edge. He instead brazened it out by thrusting his hips forward as Roger approached. Roger engulfed it for a moment before bursting to the surface. He wrapped his arms around Brian's head. "Damn you're Beautiful." he panted, gasping for oxygen. Brian kissed him as he held both of them up. "No more than you are, Rog." Roger started rubbing against him. "If you don't stop that we're going to clog up the strainer."

"Yeah," Roger whispered.

Tim noticed that the two guys had gotten awfully quiet. He watched what Roger was doing for a moment, then with an impish gleam in his eyes, he nudge Johnny to look and yelled, "Hey, Guys, no cumming in the pool." Everyone else, of course, turned to look. Roger let go of Brian and sank with Brian right behind him. They'd both lost their boners by the time they stood up in the shallow end and headed for the steps. They were both grinning as they took towels and started drying. "Spoilsport," Roger said when he sat down next to Tim to put on his shoes and socks.

Johnny reached out a hand and ruffled Roger's hair. "Hey we've all been there and done that and had someone do that to us. Join the blue ball club," he said grinning.

Brian got into his clothes as quickly as he could. He was totally embarrassed having everyone stare at him with big grins knowing that he had been about to explode. He tried to slip into the house unnoticed. But Tim jumped up and caught him around the waist and swung him around into Johnny's arms. He found himself being hugged by both men at once. Brian was panicking. "Calm down, young fellow," Johnny said. "You're part of this family now. We all love you. If we didn't we'd have just ignored you guys."

"Yeah, Brian, we only pick on those we like. And we like picking on you and Roger."

Brian's eyes were big. He had come to idolize these two amazing men in the short time he'd been working in the Tower. "Family?" he asked.

Dave walked up and said with a big smile, "You and Roger have been officially adopted, Brian. We are now your brothers."

"Wow," was all he could say as one after another everyone gave him and Roger a hug. Brian loved it.~~~

They were all dressed and sitting around talking when Charley and Les finally came out of Jake's office. They were both red eyed and looked exhausted. Les stopped next to Robert. Robert looked at him with a silent question as he placed a loving arm around Les's waist. Les smiled and nodded. They watched silently along with the rest of the group as Charley walked over to Jake and embraced him. "Forgive me, Babe?" he muttered in Jake's ear.

"There's nothing to forgive Charley. I love you and I'm glad you're seeking help in dealing with this."

"Les is amazing. Robert is so lucky. You are amazing, too. And no one is luckier than me." Charley took Jake's face in his two hands and lovingly kissed him. He then turned and faced all the expectant faces.

"You guys are the best. Thank you for standing by me while I played at being an ass. Les has promised to stick around for a few days and work with me. I love everyone of you and thank you for whatever part you had in this afternoon. Just your presence, showing your support is more than I deserve."

"That's so much bull, Charley. You deserve all the love and support we can give you." Dave said.

Charley walk over to Dave and wrapped him in a hug. "I haven't been doing a very good job of protecting you, have I?"

Dave hugged him back. "That's okay. Get your head on straight and you will."

Dave turned to hug Joe, "I'm sorry I have fallen down on job the last couple of weeks."

"Charley we know what you've been going through. Don't sweat it," Joe said, giving him a hard body squeeze.

Johnny and Tim were standing right behind him waiting to give Charley their support. "You know we're ready to give you a hand anyway we can," Tim said, with a firm hug.

"Thanks, guys. I need your support."

As Tim let go of him Johnny grabbed him around the neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. "We love you, Charley, don't you ever forget that."

With tears again blurring his vision he smiled at the two men and nodded. Roger stepped up and offered his hand. Charley looked at the proffered hand and then into Roger's eyes. "I guess you gotten a lot more of the brunt of this than most of these guys. I'm sorry, Roger," he said taking his hand and pulling him into a hug.

Roger hugged him back. Patting Charley on the back, he said, "I went through the same thing you're going through, Charley. If it would help we can swap stories."

Charley pulled back and looked at him. "I didn't know."

"Yeah, over in Iraq."

Charley studied Roger a moment reassessing him. "We'll have to talk."

Brian, who was standing next to his new lover, grinned uncomfortably when Charley looked at him and said, "I guess you're the lucky one. I didn't really get a chance to be nasty to you." he held out his hand to Brian. "I'm Charley."

Taking the proffered hand in both of his, Brian said, "I know who you are. Your one of my heros."

Charley was properly embarrassed, but kept his composure. "I appreciate you telling me that, but I only did what I had to do."

Charley turned and looked around the room. Paul and Chess were standing by the fire place watching. Charley walked over to Paul. "Do I still have a job after all the shit I've pulled these last two weeks?' he asked.

"Don't worry about your job. It will always be there for you."

"Thanks, Paul. I don't deserve it."

Paul pulled him into a hug. "As Dave said, that's so much bullshit, Charley, and you know it. I'm just glad that it's not going to take longer for you to get your act back together."

Charley smiled at Paul and then turned to his dad. "Pop," was all he could get out before he broke down. Chess grabbed his son in a loving embrace.

"You're a good man, Son. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm glad, Pop, because I'm not feeling too good about myself right now."

"We're going to help you with that Charley. I talked to Tom. He's going to handle the office. We're going to stay through next week end. Think you could stand us that long?"

"Of course. It will be good to have you around."

"Your brother is looking like he's been left out. You should talk to him."

"I owe him big time, Pop. His attack earlier brought this whole thing to a head. I'd still be acting like an ass if he hadn't said what he did."

"Tell him that. I think he's feeling ashamed of himself right now."~~~

It had long been dark outside before the fellows all left. Dave and Joe had taken Robert and Les with them leaving the guest room in Charley and Jake's house for Chess. The night had turned chilly. Jake came inside from carrying out the garbage. He briskly rubbed his bare arms. 'Well, we squeezed in one good day in the pool before the cold weather started. Tomorrow they would have to drained it and prepare it for the onslaught of winter,' he thought to himself.

He took a dishtowel and wiped around the sink, carefully folded it and hung it back up. He looked around to see if there was anything more that needed to be done before turning off the light. He sighed and flipped the switch and then stood there in the dark wondering if Charley was going to be his old self behind their closed bedroom door. He sighed again, put on a smile and walked into the livingroom.

Charley was talking to his dad. Jake hadn't been listening. He'd been involved in his own thoughts. Chess smiled up at him as he entered the room. Charley seeing his dad's attention drawn away from his story, looked up at Jake. "Sit down, Babe, I was telling Dad about our run up to Richland last month."

Charley was sprawled in the lounger and Chess was sitting in the high backed armchair. Jake sat down on the sofa close to Charley, who continued with his tale. Jake was not really listening. He watched Charley. Although he was animatedly talking to his dad, Jake felt that he still wasn't being his old self. For one thing, Charley hadn't paid any attention to him other than the hug and kiss in front of everyone when he and Les had come out of the office. A hug no more special than he gave every other man in the room. And a kiss that held no feelings.

He wasn't going to be part of Charley's charade. He stood up. "Excuse me, I am bushed. I think I'll go to bed."

Chess looked like he was going to get up to hug him. Jake shook his head and turned to leave.

"Goodnight, Jake, keep your faith." Chess said.

"I'll be there in a bit." Charley called after him.

He went into the bedroom and closed the door. He leaned back against it and scrubbed his forehead. "Keep your faith" kept reverberating in his head. How long? It had been a week and a half since Charley had touched him other than the show he'd been putting on in front of all the others. Jake had known there was nothing behind the hugs. He could feel it. He wondered if Les had been fooled. He doubted it. Les was a pretty sharp guy.

Jake pushed off the door and wandered across the room undressing. He went into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. "Keep your faith, Jake. Charley will come around," he whispered to his image. He turned to the bowl and when he finished peeing, he thought about masturbating to relieve the stress. He looked down at his limp cock and sighed, shook it and went to bed.~~~

Up in the Eyrie, Joe and Robert had retired to their respective beds. Dave and Les sat at the kitchen table enjoying some camomile tea.

"So is Charley okay at this point?" Dave asked.

"He's got a good ways to go, Dave. What you saw this evening was a show. Bluster, put on to make us all think he is okay. If you noticed, he didn't pay any attention to Jake except to give him a hug and ask forgiveness while we were all watching. I'm sure you saw how animated he was, jovial, overly friendly. It's all coverup."

"So what happens next?"

"Tomorrow I will confront him with it. He'll deny it. We'll chew on it until he admits that he was putting up a front. The next couple of days will be pretty much the same before we start seeing him accepting himself again. He has to accept the fact that there was no other thing that could be done. And then he has to come to terms with himself. He'll be needing a lot of support during this time. He'll be fragile."~~~

Charley silently closed the door. He glanced at Jake in the dim light and assumed he was asleep. He removed his clothes, did his bathroom duties and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He stared at the darkness outside the window.

Jake watched him. His heart ached. He wanted to make everything okay for Charley, but what could he do except be there waiting with open arms when he finally broke through all the shit going on in his head? Well, he could talk to him.


"I thought you were asleep," Charley said, not moving.

"No, I was just lying here waiting for you."


Nearly a minute past. Charley still didn't move.

"Why don't you get into bed and let me hold you, Babe?"

"I don't feel up to doing anything."

"I'm not asking you to do anything. I just want to hold you, that all."

Without a word Charley stood and slowly undressed. He slid into bed when Jake held the covers up, and turned his backside to him. Jake moved up against him and slid one arm under his head and the other around his chest. "I love you so much, Charley."

Charley sighed. "I love you too, Jake, I've just go so much crap going on in my head. I think I might lose my mind."

"I know you do, Babe. And while you muddle through it all remember I'm here for you. What time are you getting together with Les?"

Charley shrugged. "We're supposed to go up to Dave and Joe's for breakfast. I'll find out then."

Jake's heart was soaring. Charley was talking to him. He may not have been up to anything physical between them, but at least he was talking. "Well, it's late let's get some sleep."


Jake kissed the back of Charley's neck. Getting no response he mentally sighed and said, "Good night, Love."

Charley didn't respond. They lay staring into the darkness until sleep overtook them. ~~~

Robert lay in the big comfy king size bed watching his lover putter around the room getting himself ready for the day. From the moment that Les had first walked into that jail cell a few weeks ago, Robert had been fascinated with watching him.

When Les stood still he looked like a big lumbering woodsman. His hair was always unruly. Robert had watched him carefully comb it all into place after he showered, but by the time he'd dressed it was messed with a shock of it stick up on top his head. Robert loved running his fingers through it. It was a soft shiny, dark brown that turned to a dark auburn beard.

Ah, the beard, Robert loved the feel of Les's beard all over his body, but especially between his legs. He could look at Les's beard and get hard just thinking about how it felt between his thighs. Les looked at him and grinned as he slid his arms into a long sleeved pullover. He stuck his head into it and pulled it down. He slid it down over his long lanky body. Once the knit was adjusted he ran the fingers of both hands through his luxurious four inch long beard, staring into Robert's eyes as he did. He grinned as Robert's cock rose. "It's not going to happen again until later you horny man."

Robert sighed. "God, I love you."

"You don't fool me, Robby. It's my beard your in love with."

"Yeah, that's true," Robert admitted, staring into his deep azure blue eyes, "but with out you attached to it, it would just be a mop."

"I love you, too." Les bent down to kiss him. Robert grabbed him by his chops and ran his tongue around Les's lips. Les settled beside him and got totally involved in the kiss.

He eventually broke the kiss, and slapped Robert's naked hip. He bent over and kissed the tip of his cock. "Come on, get up and shower. I know Dave and Joe are already back from their run. Come on, Horny Man, bet up."

Robert grinned. It was true he could never get enough of Les. Being near him always kept him in a state of horniness. "Okay, I'll be ready in ten minutes." But he didn't move as he watched the fluid grace of his man as he moved to the door. He marveled for the millionth time how someone so big and lanky and awkward looking when still could move like a big cat. Les turned and winked at him as he went out the door.

Robert smiled to himself as he headed toward the shower. "I've got to thank Jake again." he said, as he let the warm water cascade down his solid body. He'd lost his belly in the last month and was toning up his muscles. Funny how being in love made such a difference in one's attitudes about one's self.~~~

After their regular morning run Charley and Jake had gone home showered and return to the Eyrie with Chess. When breakfast was finished Les had filled Charley's and his own mugs with Dave's freshly brewed coffee and suggested that Charley and he retire to the den for another session. Charley nearly balked, but as he felt everyone's eyes looking expectant, he rose and followed Les out of the room.

"When was the last time you made love with Jake?"

Charley had just sat down in a comfortable club chair in the Eyrie's den. Les was still arranging his notes and had his back to Charley. Jake, Chess, Robert, Joe and Dave were still in the kitchen having another cup of coffee after a healthy breakfast.

He almost spilled his coffee as he gawked at Les. When he didn't answer Les turned and looked at him. "Well?"

"Isn't that rather a private and intimate question."

Les nodded. "Yes, it is. What is the answer?"

Charley gulped and studied his hands and then the room. He looked everywhere except at Les. Les sat down in a chair identical to charley's, facing him. "Last Friday? Or was it Maybe Wednesday? Or was it the day after you save Joe and Dave?"

"Charley turned and looked at him. "You've been talking to Jake."

Les looked back at him. "No. I'm merely guessing? Did I hit the right date?"

Charley looked away. He nodded.

"Did you initiate it?"

Charley looked back at him, a momentary hatred flared and died in his eyes. He looked down. "Jake did."

"How would you rate your performance. Eager, semi-active, or passive."

"I wasn't eager or passive."

"Bottom or top?"

Charley looked annoyed. "Neither. It was mutual masturbation."

"And did you ejaculate?"

Charley shook his head.

"Have you had an erection since?"

"No," he whispered.

"Can you tell me why?"

Charley nodded.

"Take you time, Charley. Tell me why."

Charley studied his hands. He began to unconsciously wash them. When he realized what he was doing he looked up at Les who looked back at him with no emotion on his face. He looked up at the ceiling and tears began to course down his cheeks.

"Sunday night. The night after I shot the kid."

"Charley. He was not a kid. He was a man. He was twenty-three years old."

Charley nodded. He scrubbed his eyes and started over. "The night after I shot the man. I woke up in the middle of night. The image of the bullet entering the man's head vivid in my mind. It still is. I close my eyes, I see him staring at me... alive. And then there's a little red hole in his forehead. The life fades from his eyes before he falls. Just like that. I wiggled my finger and he was dead."

"What was significant about that night?"

When I woke up..... I'd had a wet dream. I lay there mortified. How could something like that happen?"

"Where was Jake?"

"Lying next to me. In the middle of the bed."

"On his back, side, stomach?"

"On his back. I was laying against him almost on him. I came all over his belly."

Did he wake up?"


"Go on."

"I lay there for a long time. I could feel my cum liquifying and running down between us. I turned on my night light. I could see that I had made a mess. That only made me feel worse. I grabbed my shorts and wiped off his belly. I was just going to clean myself off, but I suddenly needed to shower. I needed to wash away the whole nightmare."

"You see your wet dream as a nightmare?"

"Don't you? It was horrifying to wake up and realize that murdering that....man..... turned me on."

"Did it?"

"Did what?"

"Did killing that man turn you on?"

Charley looked aghast, shaking his head in denial and at the same time saying, "It must have. I had a wet dream over it."

Even though Charley's body was unconsciously denying it, Les insisted that he say it out loud. "Charley, does thinking about that bullet entering the man's head stimulate you when you think about it?"

"No. It's horrible to even think about." Charley sat with his eyes closed as tears continued unchecked.

Les studied Charley for several moments before he spoke. "Let me tell you something about us humans, Charley. Even though we are civilized deep down inside of us we still have strong unconscious primal urges. There is something about witnessing a death that can set off the primal urge to reproduce, to copulate to procreate. You haven't had that dream since, Have you?"

Charley shook his head. "No," he muttered.

"I thought not. Your conscious mind has shut off your subconscious and closed down your libido all because you felt guilty over an unconscious primal urge that you had absolutely no control over."

Charley looked up at him as he mulled over what Les had just said. He didn't say anything, but Les could see in Charley's eyes and his demeanor that it was making a difference, changing his reactions to the whole thing.

They continued to rehash the dream and Charley's reaction to it until Les was convinced that Charley had been thoroughly convinced that okay to have a strong libido and that there was no reason for him to feel guilty over a subconscious reaction.

"When you go home today Charley, I want you to tell Jake about the dream and your reactions and feelings. Let's meet again for another session tomorrow morning."

Charley stood and walked over to his brother-in-law, (That's the way he thought of him.) and wrapped him in a hug.

Les hugged him back. "That's more like it. I can feel you mean it today, Charley." Charley pushed back and looked at Les. "I don't think you fooled anyone yesterday, Charley. But this hug was sincere. We all love you, Big Guy. Don't you forget that for a moment."

When the walked out, they found their mates with Chess, Dave and Joe on the deck enjoying the warmth of the mid day. They all had on jackets though. Their respective mates stood and held out windbreakers for them, too. Charley couldn't help but see the look of concern in their eyes. Les broke the silence. "So what is everyone discussing?" he asked as he sat down beside Robert.

"I was just giving a short summation of what my new book is about," Jake said. He was still standing and he felt Charley's arms snake around his chest and his lips planting a kiss on the back of his neck. No one missed the mist that filled Jake's vision for a moment.

"Jake and I need to talk, Guys. So if you will excuse us, we are going home. We'll call you later and meet for cocktails and dinner." Charley said.

Jake turned and studied Charley, seeing his lover acting more like his usual self, he smiled and raised his eyebrows as he looked back at the seated men. Charley took his hand and led him to the elevator. As soon as the doors enclosed then and they started their descent Charley embraced Jake and nuzzled his neck." God, I've missed you, Babe."

"I've been right here with you all the time, Charley."

"Yeah, but I wasn't."

When the elevator doors opened. They were greeted with a big smile from Brian who was sitting at the desk. Roger was standing behind him. From the looks on their faces Charley knew they'd been watching the monitor camera in the elevator.

Charley and Jake grinned and walked toward the desk.

"Fuck you, Guys." Charley said with a big grin as they continued past.

"Oh, I don't think it will be one of us that's going to get fucked," Roger said, grinning back, as they went through the door into the garage. Jake winked over his shoulder at him as the door closed.~~~


I enjoy getting feed back on my chapters. So if you liked it or hated it, won't you take the time to tell me why? I can be contacted at js.collection@verizon.net.