Date: Sat, 02 Mar 2002 19:33:34 -0500 From: readersstop@netscape.net Subject: TFAP Diary Notes - 007 Joining Together (LJB)(MM BB Bb 1st anal oralteen1b teen2b slow)(63/56) This is the seventh set of diary entries, notes and discussions involving characters and events introduced in the series "To Fulfill a Prophesy". I strongly suggest reading the original series before these entries to allow understanding of the characters and their relationship to each other. TFAP Diary - 07 Joining together Jackson's impressions. What a restless night it'd been. Images of Pa and Ethan flashed through my dreams. Tall buildings and elevators and rooms with indoor plumbing all showed up in places where they don't belong. And with each different segment of my dreams I'd see the young boy, Denny, standing there watching everything. None of the other new people appeared, but he was always there watching the endless trail of pictures running through my dreams. We was back where we found Dean and Ted. Pa was sayin' we was goin' to take Dean and leave his friend. I saw Ethan hit Dean ag'in for askin' about his friend. As the back of his hand connected with the side of Dean's head, I woke and sat up in bed. It took me a few breaths to realize where I was. I could see Dean still asleep in the other bed. I was startled when I suddenly realized the four boys was sitting facing me in a circle around me on my bed with their legs crossed. "Why have you gathered us here, Denny ?" Jamie asked. "I want you to help me decide how Jackson is to be punished." Denny answered all the while staring coldly at me. "Why would Jackson be punished ?" Davey asked. "He tried to help Uncle Dean save Dad's life." "You don't know the truth." Denny said. "He and his family left Dad in the woods to die. They didn't take Uncle Dean to try to help, they took him to make a slave worker out of him." The boys all turned and looked toward me and then behind me. I turned and behind me was the forest where we found Dean and Ted. We was all there. Pa, Ethan, me, Dean and Ted. We watched and listened as it all happened ag'in right in front of us. At the end, when we hiked off into the woods, everything disappeared. I turned back towards the boys. They was all facing into their circle ag'in. "I'm going to punish him, severely." Denny told them. "No." Kevin said. "You have forgotten. Uncle Dean is telling it differently. There has to be a reason for that. He would never protect someone who tried to hurt Dad, if there was not a really good reason." "Kevin's right." Jamie said. "Dad loves Uncle Ted every bit as much as any of us, even you Denny. If he's chosen to protect Jackson, we have to respect his judgment and try to learn from it." "They're both right, Denny." Davey added. "You said it yourself when Uncle Dean asked us to see and possibly help Devon. `As difficult as this may be, it is our duty to abide by the request of our Fathers.' By his actions and words, Uncle Dean has requested us to support what he is doing. It is our duty to do so." "I agree with your observations." the young boy spoke, but different from before. It was like he was someone else. "We will leave this matter for now, but it is not yet resolved. Kevin, you and Anson will provide as much support as you are able for Jackson. The Father must be given all the assistance he requests." "Dale must be dealt with." Davey said. "His anger and hostility are at a boiling point. I felt it even before we left the `castle'." "Dale knows the same things about this I know." the young'un said. "I will deal with him. The Father had to let him know what had happened in the memory Jamie transferred to him. Everyone please be clear. If we do not find a reason to excuse Jackson's complacency in what we all saw, I will punish him more severely than anyone has imagined. He will serve as an example to any who would harm the Fathers." As I watched, each of them, one at a time, nodded to the young'un and then disappeared. When he was the only one left, he looked at me. "You are having a dream." he said. "It's time to wake up." I opened my eyes slowly and realized there was a little bit of sunlight comin' in around the edges of the cloth coverin' the windows. As my eyes adjusted, I looked over at Dean's bed and saw Denny laying there tight up against Dean, looking back at me. There was a light knock at the door. "Come on in, we're open for business." Dean called out. The door opened and Kevin stuck his head in. "There you are." he said to Denny. "I figured when I woke up and you were gone, I'd find you here." "Anson went to the hospital," Denny told him, "and I didn't think I should wake up Uncle Eric or Dale. They just went to bed." "When did this all happen Denny ?" Dean asked. "Oh, about 6 o'clock this morning." he answered. "It's after nine now. Anson said, we should all sleep in, besides I had other things to take care of." Denny looked at me when he said this. His head quickly turned back to face Dean. "Dad just woke up. He wants to see you." Everyone started movin' at the same time. Kevin went to call Eric and Dale. Denny run to his room to git dressed and git t'others up. Dean started t'move to the indoor john, when he stopped and looked back ta me. "What did Denny mean, he had `other things to take care of' ?" he asked, but it seemed like he was talkin' more to hisself than to me. "Did he say anything to you this morning ?" "No, sir." I answered true. "Not since we been awake. He ain't never said nothin' to me, ever." He stood there a lookin' at me for the longest time. "Denny!!!" he let out a roar so as the whole hotel might just have heard. Quick as a fly headed for poop, Denny was standin' at the door. "Yes, Sir, Uncle Dean." the young'un quietly answered. Dean just stood and stared at him. First Denny's eyes opened very wide and then slowly his head drooped `til he was staring at the floor. "I'm not going to take time now, when we can be with your Dad," Dean said in a very quiet voice, "but when we get back, you and I are going to have a very serious discussion." Denny lifted his head a little and looked fast at Dean and then me. For the first time I saw not hardness and anger in his face, but a little bit of fear and worry. "Go get ready." "Yes, Sir." the small'un answered. I sat in the waiting room while t'others went to see Ted. Dean stayed with him the entire time. Denny and Dale didn't go until the very last. This time, I watched Denny as t'other people was called to go. He was bein' punished. It was clear to him and even to me. Anson finally came and told him he could see his Dad along with Dale. They was gone a long time. Finally Anson appeared and asked me to go with him. When I entered Ted's room, I found he was sittin' up in bed, lookin' much bigger'n before. Denny was sittin' on the bed beside Ted, tucked in under his arm and turned, so his head lay tight against Ted's chest. Dean sat on a chair next to the bed with Dale standing beside him. "I'm pleased to meet you, Jackson." Ted said, reaching out his hand to be shaken. "I'm also happy to welcome you to our family. Dean tells me without what you did for him, he might not be here with me." "T'wasn't enough." I told him. "T'wasn't soon enough and I didn't give him enough help. If I had, things might'a been different." "Jackson, I have told Dean this same thing." Ted said, looking me in the eyes. "'The past is gone and time spent worrying about what might have been, is totally wasted.' What has happened is past. We now move on from this point." I liked this man and I knew I was gonna trust him. "Denny has something he needs to say to you, Jackson." Dean told me. "He and Dale have both had a wrong idea about you and rather than talk to me, they decided to act on their own." "I'm sorry Jackson." Denny said. "I've treated you unfairly, because I made a mistake and I might have made a serious error if Uncle Dean had not caught me. I've learned from this mistake and I will not make it again." "I too, owe you an apology, Jackson." Dale told me. "I allowed my emotions to interfere with verifying my facts were complete and correct. It is a lesson I will also take to heart and try never to repeat." "I'm not really sure what y'all are talkin' `bout," I declared, "but I got no hard feelin's toward either one of ya. We're friends as far as I'm concerned." Denny got down offa his Daddy's bed and gived me a big hug and smile, while Dale came over and shooked my hand. "This does not mean it's over." Dean said to Denny. "You will still lose your swimming and riding privileges for a month." "Yes, Sir." Denny said, looking at the floor again. "'Scuse me, Dean." I said. "I would never interfere in somep'en whats none of my business, but if this is over somep'en to do with me, can I ask that Denny not be punished further. Sometimes mistakes are made and if they's learned from, then that's gotta count for somep'en." Dean looked to Ted and Ted shrugged his shoulders. "We have to talk about this further with Denny." Dean told me. "When we do, we will give your request fair consideration. Okay ?" "Yes, Sir. That'd be right `preciated." I answered. Kevin's observations. I had never imagined what it would be like if Uncle Dean yelled, but the sound of Denny's name coming out from his bedroom left no question in anyone's mind that our boy was in serious trouble. Denny had gone bursting into our bedroom, announcing to Davey and Jamie, Dad was awake and wanted to see Uncle Dean. We didn't need to ask any questions about it. We all knew Denny had been constantly monitoring Dad, waiting for any sign his condition was changing. By the time I followed him to our bedroom, after having wakened and told Dale and Uncle Eric, the other three were half undressed, rummaging through their suitcases for clothes to put on. The sound of Uncle Dean bellowing for Denny caused us all to stop dead. "Oh, oh." Jamie gasped and turned to look at Denny, whose face had turned an ashen white. "Better get in there, right now." Denny raced to the door and I stood aside to let him pass through. I looked out into the sitting room. Uncle Eric and Dale had opened their door and were standing watching as Denny raced to the Master Bedroom and opened the door. I could see Dale's uncertainty as to whether he should follow Denny or not. When he looked to me I shook my head `no'. We all seemed to hold our breath. The seconds passed like minutes and the minutes like hours. Denny finally came out of the bedroom, closing the door behind himself. His head remained bowed as he trotted through the sitting room headed straight toward me. Reaching me, he flung his arms around my waist and buried his face tight against my chest. "I've done wrong, Kevin." he told me quietly. "I've done wrong and Uncle Dean knows it." I stroked the back of his head. "What is it, Denny ?" I asked. I felt him project into my mind the events which had transpired between the time Dad was left in the forest and Uncle Dean was rescued. I knew my brothers had seen the events at the same time. Uncle Eric and Dale came over to us and Dale crouched down next to Denny. Denny looked Dale in the eyes and then Dale closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Dale" Denny said as he wrapped his arms around Dale's neck. "It's all right, Denny." Dale whispered to him. "This is just as much my fault. I know better than to let my feelings interfere with my actions. I failed you by not verifying everything you believed and not pushing Dean for details." "I'm sorry guys," Uncle Eric interrupted, "I understand there is some sort of problem here which I don't know about, but we still need to get to the hospital as quickly as possible." Of course, he was correct. We all forced ourselves to re-focus and got ready to go. When we arrived at the hospital, Uncle Dean went directly to Dad's room while the rest of us went to the waiting room. In a short while, Anson appeared. He told us all everything was going well and Dad was wide awake and sitting up. He said that Uncle Eric and I could go down to see him. I was really nervous as we approached Dad's room. Somehow it was easier to control my emotions when Dad was unconscious and I had seen him just laying there. Now, as I walked through the doorway and he turned his head and looked at me, tears started to run down my face. Dad reached out to me and I moved into his arms and felt the security of having him hold me tight against him. "It's all okay, big guy." he said to me. "There's no need to worry any longer. Everything is okay." Just the sound of his voice made me feel it was so. With all the things going on, losing him and Uncle Dean, Denny in trouble, Dad just recovering, Uncle Eric and Jackson being new to the family, it seemed like I was about to do a very selfish thing, but I couldn't help myself. "Dad." I said to him softly. "When you're feeling better and we get home, would you be willing to talk again about adopting me ?" "I would be happy to talk about that any time you want, big guy." he assured me. I knew it was the right thing to do. Ted's observations. I knew as soon as I looked at Dean there had been trouble. He hugged me and kissed me and then he pulled a chair over beside the bed and sat. After ascertaining I was fine, he told me the story about what had happened after we leapt from the plane. He told me about Jackson being with him and his intention to bring him into the Family group. He had my whole hearted endorsement. Dean asked Anson, who had been waiting patiently outside my door, to bring Kevin and Eric to see me. While Anson was gone, Dean filled me in on this morning's activities and his suspicions about what had transpired. It didn't take long to realize there were a couple of serious issues to clear up. Kevin and Eric visited briefly. Kevin finally broached the subject of his adoption. I had been waiting patiently, always believing it was meant to be when Kevin finally decided he wanted it. Now it looked like we would start moving toward tying together all the loose ends and solidifying our family structure. It meant that he would finally have something lasting to belong to. We made a point of asking to see Davey and Jamie next. There was a message in making Dale and Denny wait and we knew they would understand it. Davey and Jamie were just as emotional as Kevin had been and they both ended up cuddled in on either side of me, being assured that all was well. I thought to myself how I needed to stop more often and make sure I realized these four unique treasures were first of all children and had to be allowed the needs of children. Too often I and the other adults looked to them as small adults and didn't give allowance for their emotional needs. I mentioned this to Dean as we waited for Denny and Dale to arrive. Denny stepped inside the door, took one look at me and ran to me sobbing uncontrollably. I lifted him from the side of the bed to my lap and held him tight to me as he cried and sobbed. Dean came and stood beside me, stroking the back of his head and neck. Dale came over and rubbed his arm and back gently. "It's all right, Denny." I soothed him. "We understand." And we did understand. The frustration of an eight year old boy when someone he loves is injured. Knowing that he can make that injury better, but if he does, it is the only time he will be able to do so. Needing to blame someone, everyone. Blaming Dean for leaving me, even though he knew there was no choice. Blaming Jackson without knowing the full extent of the story. Blaming himself for letting me go in the first place. "You have three people here who love you very much." I assured him. "We all understand mistakes are made. No one expects you to be perfect, if you were you wouldn't need us to help guide you. I am fine now. You don't need to worry about me. You can ease up and just be Denny again." His tears lessened and in a few minutes he was able to control himself enough to talk. "I could have done something awful." he told us. "I might have hurt Jackson very badly." "Then you will have to take this as a lesson." Dean explained to him. "You know you aren't to deal with others unless you have discussed it with your Dad. If he is not available, come to me or Dale." "I can't be included in this." Dale interrupted. "I'm more at fault than Denny. I would have let him hurt Jackson. I'm not fit to guide anyone, much less the fourth Guardian." "Of course you are." I corrected him. "I know you, Dale. What you were thinking and what you would actually do are two different things. You are a practical man, you are also absolutely fair. When it came to the final word, you would not have proceeded without being 100% certain. You had just not reached the point of realizing it yet." "Now, I think it is time we asked Jackson to join us here." Dean suggested. I agreed. Jackson was not anything like I had expected. Although I knew him to be 21 years old, he did not appear near that age. I realized after we talked for a few minutes his adolescent image was not as much physical as his youthful naivet^Â to our world. Jackson was like a tuxedo at the beach. Utilitarian in his own element, but totally foreign in the surroundings. I understood why Dean felt the need to protect him and help him expand his understanding of his new environment. Leaving him on his own in the woods would have been almost as cruel as turning him loose to the modern world. Dean mentioned the things which Jackson already found beyond his understanding and belief. Skyscrapers, elevators, helicopters, light switches, television, restaurants, indoor plumbing, sheets and pillows, tooth brushes, money and limousines were but a small part of the modern conveniences about which he had no concept. Dean also mentioned he didn't think Jackson could tell time, or even knew what the concept of a clock was about. To him it was `light out', `dark out', or `a while after it was dark out'. Last night, Dean had sent for Tim, feeling his intervention would provide the most benefit for Jackson. "Dale," Dean said, "would it be okay if Kevin and Anson took Jackson out for lunch, a haircut and some shopping, while you took the other boys back to the hotel for lunch and whatever activities you approve ? Eric can select which group he prefers to go with, or he might like to stay here and have lunch with Ted and me." "Yes, Sir." Dale agreed. Eric's observations. When Dale came back to the waiting room with Anson and the boys, he outlined to them what each of the two groups were going to do. He then suggested to me that I could choose to go with either group, or I might remain and have lunch with Ted and Dean. I immediately knew the latter would be my selection. "Anybody here know where Ted Tanner is lounging around ?" a voice inquired from the doorway. We all looked and there was Tim, a big smile of greeting on his face. As "Hello" echoed throughout the room, Kevin made his way to Tim and was quickly engulfed in a warm and loving hug. "Did you find them yet ?" a young voice rang out and Tim stepped aside to disclose Matthew standing behind him. Kevin knelt down and received another huge hug as the other boys moved over to greet their youngest family member. "He was concerned I'd get lonely on the plane all by myself." Tim laughingly commented as the greetings continued. Kevin introduced Jackson to the two new arrivals and both shook hands with him. Kevin explained to Jackson that Tim was their Teacher and also proudly designated him as his own partner. Jackson seemed slightly surprised. Kevin glanced over at me. It was the first time he had said the words in front of me, though I had clearly seen the way they interacted with each other. I gave him a reassuring smile and nod. I walked Tim and Matthew to Ted's room. Matthew immediately climbed onto `Uncle Ted's' bed and started his questions as to how he was. While the interrogation took place, Dean spoke to Tim about Jackson and the things he knew and had observed. Tim explained to him that most of Jackson's learning would have to be done through living experiences, but agreed having people capable of guiding him, such as Kevin, Anson and himself, would make the experiences easier and more fulfilling. "It would be even better if there were someone who could be with him when the others are not. I am talking about times like going to bed, shaving, showering. You know, times when we will all be tied up with our own partners and daily living." Tim outlined. "I don't think we can line up a lover for Jackson just to guide him through his daily routines." Dean chuckled. "What about a roommate ?" I asked. "I would be happy to spend some time with Jackson, if it would help and after being in boarding school and the services, the thought of a roommate doesn't bother me. There's lots of space in that big room you have me in" "That may be just the solution we are looking for, Eric." Dean told me. "Let's talk about it a bit and see if we can all work something out." By the time we were done our discussion, Matthew seemed to have satisfied himself Ted was going to recover. He delivered a big hug to both of his Uncles and received the same in return and then he and Tim were gone. "I was hoping you would decide to stay and have some lunch with us." Ted told me. "We haven't had hardly any time to talk." "I felt the same way." I replied. "Hope you don't mind too much that I hung around too." Dean said. "I haven't had time with him myself, so we can share him now and have him separately later." "Hey guys! I'm starting to feel like I'm being carved up like a roast." Ted chuckled. "I'm glad you're here too, Dean." I responded. "Maybe you can help me bring him around to renewing his acquaintance with his brothers and sisters." There was a pregnant pause at this point which made me realize what I was asking was not going to be simple in any way. "Eric," my brother began, "You have to remember that your experience with the family was much different than mine. I knew your brother and sisters when our parents were still alive. I was there to cushion the change for you when they were gone. You left the ranch four years earlier in your life than I did, so we didn't experience the same things there." "Is that why my scholarship was offered when I was 14 ? So I wouldn't be living there during those years ?" I asked. "Yes." Ted certified. "Why didn't you bring me to live with you, Ted." I asked a question which had bothered me for years. "I needed you." "I know." he replied. "I thought about it very seriously. I even discussed it with my partner, Davis. We had been together for six years and believed we would be so for the rest of our lives. Then Davis was killed in a car accident. I was not in a position to raise a teenage boy, so I selected your school as the next best choice." "I'm sorry, Ted. I never knew, so I never understood." I told him. "I'm sure you did what you felt was best for both of us. I still wish you had contacted me." "That would have raised your hopes for something I couldn't promise you." Ted explained. "I was always concerned about disappointing you. I kept a close eye on you and your progress. You were happy at school and I was not about to disrupt your life." "It's true." I admitted. "I was happy and well cared for. I realize now you must have picked my school very carefully." Ted didn't comment, but I knew I had been loved and cared about, even back then, when I thought I was alone. "I have spent the last several days getting to know your family, Ted." I said as we sat eating. "The people around you are a fantastic mixture of personalities who have been pulled into a family unit of sons, brothers, nephews, uncles, cousins and friends who compliment and enhance each other. I am jealous because these are the relations I would have given anything to have during my growth years. I am honoured to have the benefit of their association at this time of my life." I took a deep breath and looked at both Dean and Ted. "Your son, Dean is a marvel and my nephews are three of the most terrific boys I would ever hope to meet. They are as much family to me as anyone ever can or will be. I would like to know when and if you are going to tell me who your sons really are and how they can do the unbelievable things I have witnessed during my brief stay ?" Dean and Ted looked at each other. "If he's going to be with us for awhile and I hope he will be," Dean said, "he will have to know. He has become one of the inner circle because that is where he should be." Ted thought quietly for a moment. "Eat your lunch slowly, Brother." Ted told me. "I have a story to tell you which started over 5000 years ago and has now become our lives through the fulfillment of prophesy." I was totally mesmerized for the next hour. Lunch itself was not special. None of us had expected it would be. There are only a limited variety of hospital foods, but the story I was told took my mind off everything else. We received notice before leaving for the hotel, Ted would be released tomorrow, barring any unexpected developments overnight. This afternoon Dean was taking Jackson to visit his father at the Psychiatric Hospital. I decided as Jackson's new roommate to accompany them. Anson's thoughts. Dean and Dale had both asked me to spend time with and help to guide Jackson. I guess because he was closer to my age than any of the other security staff, except Brian, they felt we might better get along and have some interests in similar things. I thought how much more isolated Jackson and his family had been in comparison to my time growing up. There were certainly similarities and I could indeed relate to some of his feelings to the newness of things, but then I had lived in a modern world and he was much more distanced from everything than I had been. I didn't mind at all having the opportunity to spend time with Jackson. He was a very interesting person, intelligent, personable and full of wonder about everything. It was obvious he was suffering over the loss of his brother, but having so many people around him seemed to help distract him from his sorrow. I hoped my support would help him through this emotional period and allow us to form a lasting friendship. >From the hospital, Kevin, Jackson and I took a limousine back to the hotel. Instead of having lunch in the main dining room where we had dinner last night, we went to the coffee shop and introduced Jackson to hamburgers and french fries with a Coke. The food was well prepared and plentiful, not your normal fare for a hotel. Our next stop was the hotel barber where Jackson had his first professional hair styling and shave. He was astounded when he saw himself in the mirror the barber directed him to. I must say, he is a strikingly handsome man when he's cleaned up. Jackson was totally overwhelmed when we went shopping at the mall. The size of the building, the number of stores, the number of people, elevators with glass doors and sides that allowed you to look out as your rode from the bottom to the third or fourth level, the variety of choices, all these things were unbelievable mysteries to him. We took our time and allowed Jackson to experience all the things he found of interest. He readily accepted guidance from Kevin and me in the clothing which he would be needing. As he had never been shopping before, he tried on several items to determine what colours and styles suited him. Again, it was obvious when we dressed him up, this guy was going to be a major attraction. If Kevin and I were not in committed relationships............... We returned to the hotel in the early afternoon. Dean and Eric were waiting for us to arrive. They took Jackson to see his father at the Psychiatric Hospital. While they were gone Kevin and I joined the others in a visit to the hotel swimming pool. It was fun, but we found the chlorine in the pool really strong compared to the pools at home and we were all `red eyed' after an hour of play and swimming. The hotel had an arcade and Dale took us all to play the games there after we had changed and cleaned up from our swim. By the time we went back to the suite, Dean had returned. The rest of our stay was pretty uneventful. A group of us went to see a movie in one of the hotel theaters that evening. We all turned in fairly early. Sometime during the night Jackson woke to find Denny standing next to Dean's bed. "Denny ? What's the matter, boy ?" Jackson asked. "I'm cold and Uncle Dean won't wake up so I can snuggle with him and get warmed up." Denny told him. Jackson thought for a moment. "You could come and snuggle with me if you wanted to." Jackson offered. Denny didn't need a second invitation as he dove into the bed and moved up close against the grown boy. "I use to snuggle with Ethan when I was a young'n and felt the cold. He said it was his job to be lookiin' after me, but he really weren't mindin'. He took good care of me and I'm gonna miss him." For the first time since all this had happened, Jackson cried. Denny turned over to face him. "It's okay to miss Ethan, Jackson." he said softly. "Soon you will remember only the good times and they will make you feel happy again. You have joined our family now and there will be more good times. Each day the sadness and ache will grow less." Holding onto each other, they both drifted off to sleep almost immediately. The next morning we picked Ted up from the hospital by 11:00 a.m. The Corporate jet left at noon and we were back to the `castle' greeting the rest of our friends by 2:00 p.m. It was Saturday and we had only missed celebrating a part of the Labour Day weekend.