Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:25:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: firehose Joe <firehosejoe@yahoo.com>
Subject: Chapter 52 To Thine Own Self Be True

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Thanks to Chael for assistance in editing and proofing the story. This
is wholly fictional with no reference intended to persons alive or dead.

Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the
author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com

From the previous chapter:

Soon Alejandro and Ben were ready to go. Ben checked his directions and
confirmed he knew a shorter, more direct route back to the university and
his apartment. As Alejandro headed for his car Paul called out softly,
"Remember, word to the wise."

Chapter 52

All the way home, Alejandro let the ramifications of Matt's and Paul's
comments work on him. If they could see something – okay they knew him
– but if they could see it so quickly, so easily, others would
eventually notice it too. Yes, Ben was of age as the legal definition went
but he was a student of the university.

`Damn it,' Alejandro yelled silently at himself, `You're a board
member'. Recalling that the President and Dean obviously didn't have any
hesitation in helping the two of them connect. `What the hell are you
doing, Alejandro?'

By the time he arrived at the condo, he'd made some decisions that would
cut this off at the knees, he was sure. Next time, towels – none of this
quasi striptease, tee-shirts for both of them, turn your back on the boy to
wipe off and pull on the shirt. That will send him a signal...hopefully,
Alejandro shuddered slightly. He realized he wanted to look. He wanted Ben
to look.

Sighing, he lay in bed; sleep evaded him as he determined not to think of
that beautiful, toned, muscled flesh. He finally quit looking at the
bedside clock. He was lying naked and hard, staring at the ceiling when
sleep finally overtook him. He was grateful when the alarm sounded and he
realized he had finally slept. He showered, dressed and went to work.

It was just after 8 a.m. when his secretary knocked. She had just arrived
and the office didn't officially open until 9 a.m.

"A Mr. Craighead would like to speak to you. Are you in yet?" she said with
a smile.

Alejandro nodded and smiled his thanks. Ben was apologetic but said he was
under orders. Matt had just called him.

Ben said, "I promise Mr. Algara. He made me swear I would say this. I even
wrote it down. `Tell Alex if he's going to pull me away from work to talk
to you then he's got to buy us both lunch, something nice.'"

Alejandro laughed `til his side cramped. Finally Ben started laughing too.

"Classic Matt. He must think a lot of you, Ben. Tell him and I quote, `Matt
it's the same old same old. Just sign the ticket and be glad he's feeding
you again.' Let him fume a few seconds then tell him I'm treating at
Morton's within the next two weeks when all four of us can work out a
time. You got all that?" Alejandro asked, finally under control.

As he stared at the phone he was smiling thinking he had to work this out
with Ben. The kid was great company, fun, and more mature than other recent
graduates he'd encountered.

The following Sunday they met for their ride. Alejandro caught up on the
news from the lunch meeting Ben and Matt had enjoyed.

"We batted lots of great ideas around. I'm doing some preliminary research
to see if some of them are doable in the situation where he's working."

When they finished their ride, Alejandro could sense Ben knew something was
a little off from the weeks before. `Good' Alejandro thought.



Tossing Ben a towel, he said, "Heads up. Here's a clean T for you. I hate
putting on a wet shirt. Know you hate it too."

With that, Alejandro turned to his side and stripped off his polo. He
quickly toweled himself dry and pulled on the T, busying himself with
watering his horse and pulling some hay into the manger. Without ever
looking in Ben's direction he closed the stall door and went to find the
manager.

"Back in a minute," he called over his shoulder.

When Alejandro returned Ben was leaning against the fender of his car.

"I'll wash the towel and T and bring them next Sunday if we're riding
again." Ben sounded tentative.

Alejandro was uneasy he'd gone too far. `No! It's okay', he thought.

"Of course we're riding unless it's a driving rain. If the weather's dicey
I'll call you, okay; otherwise unless I've got to be out of town we've got
a date." Alejandro watched Ben visibly brighten and smile widely.

"I haven't ridden this much in years. I'm enjoying it and enjoying having
someone to share it with," Alejandro said.

"Cool! Okay, heading for the gym. Call you sometime this week."

Alejandro thought about the `Ben Factor' as he had begun to refer to it in
his imagination. Boundaries were good in defining relationships. Whatever
Ben had been thinking, Alejandro's precautions of the towel and T seemed to
put things in perspective for both of them.

They were lucky all summer. Sunday weather was good for riding. They put
hours in on horseback and both felt great. Alejandro had checked with Matt
and found that, indeed, Ben had come up with some ideas that would
interface nicely with the garden projects.

At the beginning of August, Ben asked Alex to wait after they'd cared for
their horses and changed shirts.

`Uh-oh, here it comes' Alex thought keeping his face in a neutral
expression.

"I'm going to be gone starting next weekend for the rest of the summer
visiting family. I haven't seen my Grandparents or Uncle in months. I'm
flying out to California to see all of them. I'll miss riding with you."

All Alejandro said was, "I hope you have a great time. Stay in touch, will
you? Call collect and I'll tell my secretary to accept the call. You can
leave a message if I'm not in. I'd enjoy hearing how your visit's
going. Okay?"

On the way home, Alejandro realized in all the time they'd spent together
Ben had made only passing reference to his immediate family. Something was
off but he didn't know what. There would be time when Ben got back to sort
it all out. It left his mind as he headed toward the condo, a shower,
supper and a glass or two of wine.

Later that evening he got a call from Sanchez. Alejandro was relieved that
he wasn't being called to come to Mexico for some kind of consultation.

"No, Amigo, there is nothing more to do until the weather cools off. The
cement will dry too fast in this weather. We've erected the columns and
laid the floor of the lanai; the connecting limestone beams are in place
and the wooden beams for the vines are cut and drying. The pool is
excavated. We will begin again in the cooler weather, perhaps late
September."

Alejandro knew how hot it would be then but said nothing. After inquiring
about Sanchez' extended family and Cesar he said good-bye.

Alejandro had spent chunks of every week with David Tapper a.k.a. Linchpin
– Grants Administrator for the philanthropic work of the Algara
Group. For the first time ever, Alejandro felt he had a handle on all the
gifts that they normally gave - the reason for them and how they would be
used. Even better the number of requests had increased exponentially, but
were being handled personally and professionally.

The committee enjoyed their monthly luncheon meetings because of the
extensive preparation Tapper had done for them. What amazed Alejandro was
that Tapper had met with each committee member and gotten to know some of
the things the member typically wanted to know about the request and those
doing the asking.

To facilitate the committee's review process for requests, Tapper had
assimilated the typical questions and concerns raised by members. Each
member was provided with the information gathered. Together they formulated
a general list of questions that would help address typical concerns of
each member. With each request for funding a letter was sent to the
organization asking them to answer the list of questions and only when the
answers had been responded to, did their request get a hearing.

Alejandro had gotten a little pushback from administrators he knew
personally when new standards of accountability had been announced and
additional requests for information had been made. Alejandro responded
gently but firmly that there were so many requests a different system had
been implemented. Of course their request would most likely be granted but
Alejandro asked as a personal favor that the
organization/individual/committee be patient.

The message was writ large for each group receiving Alejandro's
response. The game had changed. Alejandro asked Tapper after several weeks
about some of his favorite causes and found that to a group they had
complied to the letter with attached documentation supporting each item
addressed. Message received.

When Ben returned they resumed their Sunday rides but with greater
infrequency due to Alejandro's travel. He encouraged Ben to ride alone if
he wished or even request the stable manager ride with him. Ben smiled his
thanks but didn't say he would. Fair enough, Alejandro thought; he'd
offered.

Sanchez called one Sunday night about 9 p.m. He'd learned it was the best
time to catch Alejandro and have his attention.

"We will begin pouring tomorrow, Amigo. The forms for the floor are in
place and there is enough rebar to foil an earthquake on top of a
hurricane." Both laughed.

"When the master's room floor has cured we will set the forms and pour the
side walls, perhaps three weeks from now. If weather holds and it should
this time of year, we will be able to walk through all the rooms of the
structure in a matter of weeks."

"What about the ceilings and roof, Sanchez?"

"I have checked every weld, Alejandro. Elephants could dance on the cured
concrete and all you would notice would be the noise – and not even that
in the master's suite with all the insulation that will be installed,"
Sanchez said.

Alejandro had begun assembling an annotated picture book with the first set
of pictures and notes that Sanchez had sent. He was surprised and uneasy at
first that the people of the village were doing almost all of the
work. Sanchez had foreseen the possibility and had closeups of taped
measurements, levels with the bubble centered, T squares proving the angles
of door and window openings and plumb lines showing slope.

Nothing had been said by anyone but each knew it was important for someone
a thousand-plus miles away to be able to see accurate results of
labor. Alejandro had consulted with Cesar and arranged a feast for the
workers – the entire village. It would be at the building site paid for
by Alejandro. Cesar would host and express Alejandro's regrets. All would
understand. It was the spirit of `Mi casa es su casa'. It would make him an
esteemed neighbor.

With fall came the cold, the rain and neither opportunity nor desire to
ride. Alejandro and Ben stayed in weekly touch by phone and both seemed
glad for it. Alejandro had even called several times while out of town. Ben
had appreciated that.

Alejandro made a trip in mid-October to the hacienda for a visit with Cesar
and to do a walk through. The progress was impressive. Everything was
weather tight, dried in and reinforced against potential storms coming in
from the sea. Alejandro tried to be unobtrusive as he glanced at door
fittings and window joints.

Sanchez noticed. "I have checked them all many times, Alejandro. It is
where shoddy workmanship is first and most often noticed. You will find
none of that here. I guarantee it."

"Amigo," Alejandro said taking Sanchez by the shoulders and looking him in
the eye. "I have trusted you since the first set of pictures. When my home
in Chicago was being built I was so excited that I visited the site nearly
every day.

"The master carpenter wondered if I was checking his work. He went to great
pains to show me details of the quality of the work being done. Finally I
convinced him that I was just enjoying the process. Your pictures have done
the same thing for me. Finally I can touch and see with my own eyes the
wonderful work that has been done here."

Sanchez seemed mollified with the explanation as they continued the
tour. Alejandro found himself anxious for the work to finish. He wanted to
live here, sleep and eat here, walk on to his deck naked and watch the sun
rise.

Suddenly it hit him. Who was going to take care of this place in his
absence, make it ready for his arrival? Damn, how was he going to get here
without the help of Cesar or Sanchez? Why hadn't he considered this before?
He'd talk with Cesar later; perhaps he'd have an idea.

When Alejandro posed the question over dinner, Cesar looked at him with a
twinkle in his eye and a barely contained smile.

"Sanchez asked me during your last visit if you'd said anything about
staff. I said, `No' and he mentioned that he'd have some suggestions for
you when you returned," Cesar said leaving everything for Sanchez to
explain.

The next morning Alejandro sat with Sanchez over café con leche. Alejandro
was chagrined that he'd not considered the need but decided to face it
squarely and ask for help.

"Alejandro, you and I both know this casa has been more a dream than a
reality for you for most of the process. I have enjoyed the work. My people
have taken great pride in their labor and have studied the pictures with
great detail before I sent them to you. Each is very proud when a specific
shot of something he has done has been sent. They are very proud to work
for the man they refer to as the Patron del norte, Patron of the north.

"Several have asked who would care for the casa, prepare your food, tend
the gardens, and clean the pool and lanai? I've answered them that, of
course, you would make the decision. I do have some recommendations for
you, however."

After their extended breakfast, Alejandro was convinced that Sanchez had
things well in hand. He would oversee the staff and make sure the grounds
and casa could be ready for guests in a matter of a couple of hours after
being notified.

They discussed the need for transportation and Sanchez suggested a car, and
a jeep or other cross-terrain vehicle. It meant building a garage but that
was expected. He would see to maintenance as he did for Cesar. Alejandro
asked if Sanchez thought boarding some horses was possible.

"If you didn't suggest it, we were going to encourage you. You enjoy
riding. It would be good to have your own horses. Cesar will ask for some
compensation if only to save face for both of you. This, too, has been
discussed."

Alejandro looked at Sanchez as he listened wondering who the real Patron
was. Cesar, of course was the one with the title. Alejandro expected that
Sanchez was the real power behind the throne. Again he felt fortunate for
the friendship and help.

During the next week, back in Chicago, Ben called, excited with some good
news.

"You've got to let me take you to lunch, Alex. Don't get your hopes up; it
will be same old same old" Ben laughed, "but I'll pay this time. I've got
some great news and wanted you to hear it first."

Alejandro after numerous requests had gotten Ben comfortable with calling
him by his given name – or variation thereof. They agreed on a time.

Ben was a bundle of excitement. Alejandro was glad to see him and eager to
hear the news.

Ben waited `til their orders had been taken. "I got a grant to implement
the plans I've made with Matt for enhancements for the project. I can't
wait to tell him. I got a nice letter, very complimentary on my final
report for the research last summer. I thought, `Well, that's that' but
applied for the implementation sector anyway. I got the notice in the mail
this morning. This is just so cool!"

Alejandro followed most of the conversation as Ben rattled on. His
enthusiasm and joy were contagious.

Alejandro finally broke in, "I've got nearly all you said straight. Tell me
where Matt fits in and implementation of what?"

Ben launched into his further explanation. When his sandwich arrived he was
polite and thanked the server but didn't touch it for several minutes as he
outlined the grant requirements, partnership with Matt and how they were
going to make history.

After a few more clarifying questions, Alejandro finally understood that
Ben was going to design hardware to harness solar power and deliver it so
that the greenhouses could extend their growing season. Matt and Paul had
helped him research potential manufacturers in the area and he had that
piece locked down.

"Now, we can go into production and do some real measurements."

Ben, normally linear in his thinking and explanations was all over the
place. He patiently explained to Alejandro what was to be built, how it was
going to operate and what function it would serve – the measurable
piece.

Alejandro hid his amusement at the slightly condescending tone Ben assumed
as he walked Alejandro through the technical bits and pieces. `Ah, the
Patient Professor' thought Alejandro.

"I'm going out to Matt's this evening for dinner to tell him. Just can't
wait!"

Alejandro was already looking forward to enjoying a hearty supper at the
Duo's next weekend and hearing the take from Matt's perspective. It had
been hovering between cold and uncomfortably chilly for several
weeks. Alejandro was surprised when he didn't see any preparations for
dinner.

Paul said, with an attempt at casualness, "We're eating in the new place
tonight."

Alejandro wasn't prepared. A picnic table was in place, set and ready with
a cloth, plates and cutlery. A board set on two boxes served as a
sideboard. Wine was open, breathing. Construction lights were placed so
that they illuminated the sidewalls and spilled onto the ceiling.

As Alejandro had walked up from the house, he'd shoved his hands in coat
pockets and pulled it closer in against the damp. Inside it was actually
warm - warm enough to take off his coat and be very comfortable.

"Thermal heat transfer and a few lights. That's all the heat we're using at
the moment," Matt said nonchalantly as he poured wine.

The space looked cavernous. Not that, Alejandro thought, just big. It
didn't resemble a cave at all but was still nearly completely underground
he reminded himself. The high ceilings, painted concrete walls and indirect
lighting made the place inviting and warm. Yes, it was warm. He imagined it
furnished with rooms and smiled. What a great idea they'd had.

Paul cleared the table and returned with a small cake and champagne flutes.

"What's this?" Alejandro asked.

"This was all Paul's idea but I think it's appropriate," Matt added with a
smile at his lover.

Alejandro watched as Paul returned with what looked like a bottle wrapped
in a cloth. "We didn't want to have to pick up the glass, but we're sure as
hell going to christen this place. Come on!"

He led them outside. Two patio torches were burning that Alejandro hadn't
noticed before. Paul gave instructions and when they were all in position,
each grabbed onto the bottle or at least put a hand on it.

"On three!" Paul shouted. They all counted, swung and heard the glass
shatter against the corner of the building. Paul dropped the sodden mess
into a box he'd prepared. They all clapped and cheered. `It was worthy of a
christening,' Alejandro thought.

Alejandro was glad for the warmth when they stepped back into the new
space. They spent time at the table enjoying the celebration and talking
about Ben and his progress.

Matt was especially helpful to Alejandro in explaining the process and
where they were with the implementation grant. Ben was going to build
prototypes of disks that would focus the sunlight and convert it into heat
that could be transferred and used by the greenhouses.

"Now, mind you, it won't be enough to make them efficient growing spaces
through winter but it will very likely prove his point and that's what
matters. The boy's bright!" Matt said in conclusion.

The next week Alejandro recalled the dinner with pleasure. The Duo had
become a team at so many levels and seemed to grow on each other's
strength. `What a great partnership,' he thought.

During dinner they'd all agreed that last year's Thanksgiving party was fun
but one for the record books and something that should not be repeated. On
the spur of the moment, Alejandro offered them the condo in San Francisco
to use for their Thanksgiving. It would be the first time they'd been able
to get a few days away without feeling like things would fall apart. They
accepted immediately remembering the fun they'd had during their first
visit.

Doodling on a pad at his desk later the next week, Alejandro considered
possibilities for Thanksgiving. He remembered the fun he and Frederick had
shared skiing. That would be a great way to spend several days. But with
whom? Unconsciously he pressed against the pad breaking the pencil lead.

He was used to flying solo as he referred to it. Being single suited him
most of the time. It was situations like this that proved a challenge. `Oh,
Charles, where are you?' he thought and laughed out loud. He shrugged, and
assured himself something would work out.

The weekend promised to be clear and cold. It might be the last time to
ride before New Year. Alejandro called Ben and found he'd been thinking the
same thing. They met at their regular time at the stables.

The horses seemed glad to get out for the exercise. A gallop `cross a field
was a treat for man and beast. Steam roiled from the horses' nostrils as
they walked back to the stables.

As they groomed the animals, Alejandro asked Ben what his plans for
Thanksgiving were, expecting him to head toward hearth and home for family
time.

"I usually stay here for the holiday. Several folks have informally adopted
me as a guest for dinner and football games. I get a lot of work done with
all the quiet."

Alejandro, glad he was hidden by the horse's flank felt his face wrinkle in
question. Nothing ventured, he thought.

"I was hoping to get in some skiing time but hate to go alone. You ever
skied?"

Ben's `What?' startled Alejandro. He looked up and saw Ben with his mouth
slightly agape.

"Have you ever skied?" Alejandro repeated the question.

"It's been several years but I love it! Last time I went skiing, I spent
most of the time on the expert slopes swishing through powder. Wow, what a
memory!" Alejandro watched as Ben smiled and shook his head as if recalling
a wonderful time.

"Well, I've got a proposition for you," Alejandro said.

Ben looked at him with curiosity.

"I'm a beginner but did progress to the intermediate slopes the last time I
was skiing, seven or eight years ago. If you're interested, I'll get us
there, feed us and put us up for however long you can stay. You're
responsibility is to not leave me on the bunny slope while you hit the
powder. I'd enjoy the company for both the trip and the skiing. What do you
say?" Alejandro asked. Ben's face had grown more animated with each second
Alejandro had talked.

Ben radiated excitement and anticipation. Alejandro suggested they go for a
beer and discuss their plans. Instead of begging off as he often did so he
could hit the gym, Ben eagerly agreed.

They shared a pitcher and a pizza as they made their plans. Alejandro was
pleased that Ben could be available on Monday mid-afternoon. That would
give them five full days.

Alejandro had David Tapper do some research for him since it was a slow
time during the funding season. The report and information was typically
thorough and informative. The man did good work, Alejandro thought time and
again.

After making his list of preferences, Alejandro called Ben out of
courtesy. Typical of Ben, he had good questions that neither Alejandro nor
Tapper had considered. Ending the conversation they agreed that if all
checked out, Alejandro would make the reservations and finalize the plans.

Tapper was in the office the next day with the spring schedule. `He'd be
able to run this without too much help from me,' Alejandro thought. `He's
good!' The balance of the week was spent in planning meetings and
conferences drawing up agenda.

Friday before he left the office, Alejandro called John Abernathy and
confirmed their Saturday morning workout.

As they were concluding, Alejandro had an idea, "John, have I ever
mentioned Bears' Den to you?"

Hearing not, Alejandro gave John a description and a brief background of
his own experiences there.

"It's crowded and a bit smoky but I think you'd enjoy it. Pizza and beer on
me if you're interested. If not, that's okay, we can get together
tomorrow."

"Heck yeah! That sounds like my kind of place, Buddy. What time and where?"
John said eagerly.

Later over their Chicago deep-dish and a cold pitcher, Alejandro filled in
the gaps about Bears' Den telling John about some of the people he'd
met. The private stuff he left private. There was more than enough to
share. John was chomping at the bit when Alejandro had finished his
anecdotes.

Nicco wasn't bartending that night but there were several people Alejandro
recognized. John couldn't get enough. He kept up a running commentary with
opinions of the combatants, their studliness and build and the style of
wrestling. Alejandro enjoyed John's reaction every bit as much as the
wrestling itself.

On their way home, when Alejandro asked John if he'd enjoy a drink, John
jumped at the chance. They never got their drink but did thoroughly trash
the bed as they wrestled on the mattress and the floor. After they had both
cum twice in succession they drifted into sleep. When Alejandro awoke, it
was to John's cacophonous snoring. He slipped out of bed, covered his
friend and headed to the shower. After a quick soap and rinse, Alejandro
headed off to the guestroom.

John was filled with chagrin the next morning when he came out of the
bedroom. Alejandro was sipping coffee at the counter in the
kitchen. Quickly putting his guest at ease and fixing him some coffee,
Alejandro and John talked about the night before. They shared a light
breakfast and parted company agreeing that another Saturday would be better
for a workout.

The Sunday before their departure, Alejandro realized he hadn't spoken to
Ben in nearly a week and a half. When Ben answered the phone he said he had
been counting the days off on his calendar. He'd not been able to shop for
any ski gear and said he'd have to rent skis as he had before.

Alejandro said not to worry, they'd work all that out when they got to the
resort. They arranged a time for the driver to pick Ben up on their way to
the airport.

Ben's anticipation energized both of them. They laughed and talked almost
nonstop on their way to O'Hare.

The weather had cooperated and the flight to Colorado was smooth. When the
seatbelt sign went off, they both unbuckled and stretched back in the large
leather chairs. After they'd been airborne for a while, Alejandro asked
about Ben's last time skiing. One question logically led to another in
Alejandro's mind but he noticed Ben's answers becoming briefer and
strained.

Alejandro let it go when it was obvious that Ben didn't want to talk about
it for some reason. Wanting to change the subject, Alejandro, without
realizing, asked the question that made the house of cards tumble down.

"Ben, I know your parents are going to miss you for the holiday. Tell me
more about them. You've mentioned your Dad's work in passing and I know you
learned to ride when Davie started his lessons. You just haven't said much
and I guess we've been preoccupied. I'm sorry I haven't asked before."

Alejandro had glanced out the window. When he looked back at Ben he saw the
color had drained from his face and it was like a stony mask.

Alejandro's concern for Ben flooded him. "Ben? What! What did I say?"

Ben raised a finger, indicating Alejandro should wait. A moment later he
drew in a shuddering breath.

"Sorry, sometimes the question catches me off guard. Alex, they all died on
the return trip from bringing me up to school my freshman year. It was a
truck; the driver had gone to sleep and they hit head-on. Mom, Dad and
Davey were killed instantly."

Alejandro expressed deep and sincere regret struggling to find the right
words to say. There were none, of course. What can one say? Ben had his
eyes squinched tight. Alejandro watched his chest shudder with a barely
suppressed sob. Tears began to run down his face as he finally gave into
the spasm of grief that had gripped him.

Alejandro turned in his seat and put an arm across Ben's shoulder, the
other on Ben's knee. Unbidden, from memory hidden deep within, he found
himself saying some of the comforting things Isabella had said to him as a
child. Somehow the soft, repeated, almost hypnotic murmurings seemed to
calm Ben.

Ben turned toward Alejandro. His eyes were bloodshot. He sniffled and his
voice occasionally shook. "It was our first time skiing, the winter I was a
senior. We packed up the car and drove to a resort where we had rented a
condo. I took to the skis like a duck to water. Dad and Davey spent lots of
time together while I hit deep powder. Mom was content curled up by a fire
with her book. I can close my eyes and see it right now."

As Alejandro watched, Ben's face became a mask of anguish. His eyes
squeezed shut and the tears streamed again.

"Oh God, I miss them so much!"

Ben's shoulders sagged as he shook, racked with sobs. Alejandro felt
paralyzed for a moment, then simply reached out and pulled Ben to him. Ben
grabbed Alejandro's neck, buried his face in the crook of Alejandro's neck
and quietly sobbed.

Occasionally he'd mutter, "I'm sorry, Alex."

It seemed an endless time for Alejandro but had only lasted minutes. Ben
broke his embrace and asked simply, "Bathroom?"

Alejandro pointed and Ben got up, went in and shut the door. A few minutes
later he returned. He'd washed his face, straightened his shirt and combed
through his hair.

"Thank you, Alex. It hasn't hit me like that for nearly three years. I
wonder if the hurt will ever go away," Ben said softly as if to himself.

"Contrary to what you've seen today," Ben said with a sad smile, "it does
help to talk about it. I think I'm done with the waterworks so don't
worry."

He quickly searched Alejandro's face for any reservation. Seeing none, Ben
began to talk mostly about Davie and how close they were and how much they
had enjoyed their Saturday morning rides.

Alejandro watched with growing ease as Ben fell into almost a storytelling
mode, tracing strands of his youth, interweaving bits and pieces about his
Mother and Father.

He told of their home in California and the wrenching experience of the
move to the mid-west. He'd adjusted more rapidly to a new school and
friends. Davie was devastated. He'd left his best and only close friend
behind. His parents were concerned and let the boys run up outrageous phone
bills talking several nights a week. Finally Davey met someone at school
who was big into dressage and riding.

"He begged Mom and Dad. Finally they relented only after Mom bribed me to
be the watchdog." Ben grinned broadly, "I was 14 and had watched out for
Davey all his life. I was promised extra hours of television, my favorite
desserts twice each week, extended curfew; it was a real sweet deal.

"Best part was that I discovered I really enjoyed riding. I was too big,
even then, to find my seat for serious competition. I did it for Davey. Let
me tell you, he enjoyed being the guy with the trophy cups and ribbons for
a change.

"We weren't exactly Leave it to Beaver but Mom did stay home with us. We
were comfortable but didn't have money to waste. I didn't know it then but
Dad was saving all he could to build college funds for us and to provide
for Mom should something happen to him."

Ben took another deep breath that shuddered slightly in his chest. "When
they came and told me, one of my professors took me to his home. They
helped me get in touch with Uncle David in California. He's my Father's
older brother. He was there within less than a day.

"In kind of a daze, I insisted that I had to go to classes the next
day. They let me as David made arrangements long distance.

"A couple of days later, he took me home. Friends had come in and
cleaned. There was a wake that evening. All my friends and Davie's
friends," Ben shuddered again and waited a moment to gather himself, "we
cried together, laughed together swapping stories. We had a big sleep over
so I wouldn't feel so alone. Of course Uncle David was there but it was
different. You understand, don't you?" Ben looked at Alejandro but not
quite. He was lost in his story.

"The next day we had the funeral. There was very little to bury, David told
me later. My Grandparents, David and I sat stoically during the Mass. I
don't remember much of that except that afterward friends came back to the
house. The noise and friendly faces helped so much.

"That night it was just me and Uncle David. The ladies, Mom's friends, had
cleaned up. Friends volunteered to stay but David said I needed some time
alone.

"Late that night I lay in bed, unable to sleep, crying on and off. Uncle
David heard me and came in to check. He sat on the edge of the bed and
rubbed my back. It felt so good. He asked me if I wanted him to stay. I
didn't want to be alone and was grateful for his offer.

"The next morning when I woke up I was horrified that my morning woodie was
jammed against his butt. I jumped up, pulled the sheet off to cover
myself. It woke him up. He was startled and grabbing for cover. When I
tried to apologize and explain, he started laughing, laughed `til we were
both laughing and panting for breath.

"He got up and arranged his own hardness shaking his head and suggested we
go take care of our problems. He went to my parents' room where he'd been
sleeping and took a shower. I used the hall bathroom Davie and I always
shared.

"He took me back to school and made sure I was settled in with the faculty
family then returned saying he had to see to the house and other legal
stuff.

"He came up the following weekend. He suggested I stay in his hotel. We had
lots of business to discuss and he was flying home from Chicago. He
explained about the finances – all the insurance was written so that, as
the sole survivor, all funds were paid to me. That along with Davie's
college fund assured I could pay for all the education I needed and have a
good-sized nest egg to start a career.

"He'd had a judge appoint him with Power of Attorney in my behalf until I
turned twenty-one. He took care of everything."

Ben lapsed into a few moments of silence. "Thanks for listening. I probably
should have told you earlier but it's weird. They're my past and I'm trying
to hold them close but not make that time part of every friendship or
relationship I have. Sometimes it just spills out."

Alejandro let the silence grow. It was comfortable just to be there and
give Ben his space. Finally Ben asked about the resort and the subject
turned again to skiing. Ben's eagerness returned and soon they were
chuckling at some of Ben's antics and mishaps his first day on the slopes.

"Don't worry, I'm a quick study and learned what not to do. I'll have you
eating my powder chasing me down the big slopes in no time."

When they landed the promised car was waiting. The driver collected their
luggage and soon they were off. It was a short ride, Alejandro explained,
since they were a small charter and could use one of the smaller strips,
closer to their destination.

At the resort, Alejandro and Ben went in, Ben to stretch his legs,
Alejandro to register them. A bellman collected their bags and held them
awaiting instructions. Soon they were being shuttled to one of the outlying
condos by one of the front desk assistant managers.

"I hope you don't mind being out in the boonies," Alejandro said. "It's
much quieter than staying in the lodge, I imagine, and we have our own
fireplace."

"Mr. Algara, I hope you and your guest will enjoy your stay. I have a list
of things that were requested. Please check and make sure everything is as
you wish. I'll take your bags up to your rooms."

When he returned the man quickly gave Alejandro and Ben a tour of the
kitchen showing them where wines and liquors were stored. The refrigerator
held a bountiful variety of breakfast foods, deli items, beer and
snacks. The cupboards offered an array of canned foods for a hot lunch if
they decided to stay in or come back for a brief meal and rest.

After lighting the fireplace the man left. Ben looked at Alejandro and said
quietly, "Wow. We are well and truly set up."

 "It's probably overkill but last time I discovered just how convenient it
was to have a kitchen stocked so we didn't have to run out any time we were
hungry or thirsty. Besides it's comfortable to be able to walk down for a
cup of coffee in the morning in your boxers," Alejandro said with a smile.

It was 6 p.m. and it had been a long day for both men. They sat in front of
the fire enjoying a drink, talking about the plans for the week.

"You know even with all the exercise we both get, we're gonna be hurtin'
boys after the first day," Alejandro said, remembering the ribbing he and
Frederick had given each other.

Ben asked about Frederick and Alejandro gave him an abbreviated version but
hit all the high spots, leaving out their sexual relationship. When
Alejandro mentioned the wrestling, Ben's eyebrows raised slightly.

"I'd have never pegged you for a wrestler. I mean you're obviously strong
and in shape but I guess I think of wrestlers being bigger and kind of
muscle-bound guys. Did you wrestle competitively?" Ben asked, genuinely
interested.

Alejandro filled him in on the intramural team, his enjoyment of the
one-on-one nature of the contest, and the camaraderie he enjoyed with
Frederick and Mike on the wrestling mats and at their apartment doing
homework and sharing meals.

Ben's stomach growled and they both laughed that comments about meals had
that effect. They decided that dinner at the lodge and an early night
sounded like a good plan.

"I want to clean up a little before dinner. You mind if I take time for a
quick shower?" Alejandro asked.

"`Course not. I need one too," Ben said as he took an exaggerated sniff and
laughed.

Both guys headed upstairs. Alejandro stripped to his boxers. He'd left the
door open and Ben saw him sorting clothing on the edge of the bed. The
desire he'd kept so steadily in check surged through him. He felt his cock
begin swell. Shaking his head despairingly he went in and pushed the
bathroom door most of the way closed.

Alejandro was stripped and adjusting the water when he heard Ben yelling in
the bathroom. Ben was standing in the tub having just tested the water
temperature and lifted the trip on the faucet for a shower. He had reached
up to dial the adjustment on the shower head to pulse when the whole
assembly shifted and water began to spray all over the bathroom ceiling and
out into the floor.

Alejandro rushed to the door and called out to Ben to see if he was
alright. Ben didn't hear him as he swore, trying to get the shower head on
tighter. It came off in his hands as Alejandro stepped into the room.

"Are you alright?" Alejandro asked as he heard another stream of curse
words. The water stopped and Ben pulled the curtain back violently.

Alejandro caught his breath. Ben's body glistened with water. His muscle
definition was all that Alejandro had remembered, perhaps more. The defined
pecs and abs were cleanly cut. Ben's thighs were thick corded muscles. His
cock was long and thick. Ben, even though distracted by the past few
seconds let his eyes gaze hungrily at Alejandro.

Trying to cover the moment, Ben attempted to explain what had happened, all
the while stealing glances at Alejandro's thickening muscle and furry
chest. Alejandro listened as Ben talked but kept letting his eyes drop to
take in the sculptured shape of the smooth powerful body.

He somewhat panicked as he felt his cock steadily filling and beginning to
rise. Grabbing a towel off the rack he covered himself. He told Ben to give
him a minute and Ben could use the master shower. Yelling down the hall as
he walked to the bedroom for Ben not to worry about the showerhead,
maintenance would have it fixed before they got back from dinner.

He stepped back into the shower and adjusted the water to a cooler
temperature, soaped and rinsed quickly and was back in his boxers before he
heard a knock on the open bedroom door.

"You done?" Ben asked from out in the room. Alejandro walked out toweling
his hair dry and said, "It's all yours," trying to sound nonchalant. Again
both men stood for a brief moment drinking in the sight of the other.

"Uh, sorry about that mess. I swear I didn't break anything," Ben said as
he went into the bathroom.

While Ben was showering they shouted back and forth, Alejandro teasing Ben
about not knowing his own strength and agreeing to split the repair
bill. The tension of the moment passed until Ben stepped out of the
bathroom with only a towel wrapped around him. Alejandro's breath caught
again as he looked at Ben and felt the lust welled up inside him.

`Damn him', Alejandro thought. Ben stood there still talking about the
shower and thanking Alejandro for not being mad. Finally Alejandro
realized, he was stalling, wanting to prolong the moment.

With an attempt at lightness Alejandro said, "Get yourself out of here and
get dressed. I'm hungry." As he said it he knew he'd glanced at Ben's
chest. When he looked up Ben had a small smile on his face as he left.

He tossed the comment over his shoulder as he walked down the hall, "I
won't be a minute."

Alejandro secured the fire-door on the fireplace and poured another finger
of Scotch in his glass. As he was finishing it Ben bounded down the steps
two-at-a-time, all smiles and ready for dinner.

They walked to the lodge. It was a bit of a hike but the cold air was
bracing and Alejandro was glad for it as he felt himself gain more control.

Dinner was comfortable with good food and easy conversation that at times
felt to Alejandro like they were both avoiding something. Their table
looked out over the lighted slopes. It was a beautiful sight. Occasionally
Alejandro would catch Ben staring at him with the same look he'd seen when
they'd first started riding. It was a hungry look.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The peculiar food and drink of writers is the comment from the reader.
Please feel free to drop me a note at firehosejoe@yahoo.com