Date: Sun, 7 Oct 2007 08:07:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: firehose Joe <firehosejoe@yahoo.com>
Subject: To Thine Own Self Be True: Chapter 9

"This above all: To thine own self be true, for it must follow as dost the
night the day, that canst not be false to any man." Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Each relationship, unique unto itself, must find its way and become what it
will. We all make the journey. Enjoy this story of Steve and Alejandro
(sounds like a-lah-handro -- Spanish). Though the theme of wrestling will
be a key component in the early chapters and a continuing theme, the story
is about relationships and being true to oneself. Thanks to Bill M and
TalonRider for assistance proofing the story.

Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the
author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com

>From the previous chapter:

"Wait a sec." Mike said as he got a clean sheet out of his
drawer. Spreading half the sheet on the bed he told Alejandro to lie
down. He covered him and said, "Just relax. I'm going to warm some oil. You
do want a real massage don't you?" Without waiting for an answer Mike went
to the bathroom and began to run water to heat the oil.

Alejandro reached beneath him and straightened his nearly erect cock. He
smiled in anticipation.

Chapter 9

Mike returned with the oil. Alejandro was surprised when Mike tapped him on
his calf and said turn over. Alejandro thought of several things to say but
said nothing and followed orders.

Mike tapped his knee closest to the edge and said, "Scoot over, I need some
working room." With that, Mike straddled Alejandro's thick, hairy, thighs
and looked down at him smiling. "Glad you didn't start without me. That
monster of yours is drooling. Can't you train him better than that?"

They both laughed. Alejandro responded, "When he gets like this, there's
little I can do but let him have his way."

"Know what you mean, bud. Got the same problem." Mike responded.

Alejandro wondered why Mike hadn't taken off his shorts but said
nothing. Mike rubbed oil from the tube into his palms and then added more
all the while letting his eyes survey the muscled physique beneath him.

"This is a rubdown Studley. Yeah, don't worry, I'm gonna get you off but
first I'm going to turn your puny muscles into little puddles of flesh. Now
relax." With that Mike began at Alejandro's neck and worked his way down
his sides, arms and torso with a professional's touch. Mike's smile was
more of a sexy grin. His thighs were drawn in close as he let his arms and
hands work Alejandro's pecs. Rubbing his muscled quads against Alejandro,
he let his cock brush against Alejandro's thigh only serving to build the
heat in Alejandro's chest. Alejandro's cock was throbbing and leaking drips
of precum as he watched Mike's rippling muscles ply his skills. The boy
hadn't lied. He was good.

Mike worked every muscle group, every major tendon. In fact he touched
every part of Alejandro's front except his cock and balls. There was no
complaint he could make. In fact there was little he could do under the
masterful touch of Mike's strong, skilled hands. When Mike had finished
with Alejandro's feet he began to work his way back up the calves and
thighs he had previously massaged. His focus and intent were evident as
Alejandro watched him.

When Mike finished with the groin tendons he again oiled his palms and let
them slide along the pulsing, leaking erect muscle that projected from
Alejandro's pubes. Alejandro shuddered and Mike smiled.

"It pays to wait sometimes, Studley." Mike said as he began an intentional
offensive on Alejandro's sex. His touch was deliciously varied. No sensual
possibility was left unexplored. Alejandro squirmed from time to time,
dearly wanting to release his pent up desire. Mike continued to rub and
manipulate each area both adjacent to and part of Alejandro's sex.

Finally with a feather light touch, Mike began to rub his thumbs
alternately up the urethra then round the corona of Alejandro's
cock. Alejandro's abs tightened, his breath came in short gasps as the
indescribable pleasure built. His body grew more rigid, the only exception
being the occasional abdominal spasm. Mike never changed his touch or pace.

Alejandro's orgasm came on him with a sudden violence. A deep groan tore
from him as his board stiff body convulsed with jet upon jet of hot
semen. His eyes were closed, his head pressed back into the mattress. He
couldn't see the satisfaction on Mike's face. It didn't matter. Alejandro's
world had stopped for the moment, shattered by the sheer force of pleasure.

The eruptions of semen had stopped. The convulsions had ebbed to only the
occasional tremor that moved through his torso. His breath occasionally
shuddered. It was the last reminder of the power of his orgasm. Finally he
lay still. Mike continued to watch and wait.

Opening his eyes, Alejandro saw Mike's face wreathed in a smile. "I'm glad
that was good for you. Now turn over." It was all he said as he leaned on
one knee lifting his weight so Alejandro could follow his directions.

Alejandro felt Mike's weight partially settle on his buttocks. The strong
hands began to work the muscles at the nape of Alejandro's neck. It was the
last thing he remembered for several hours.

He awoke with a start. Nearly panicked, he couldn't remember where he
was. Quickly, though, it all came back. He looked at the clock. It was
after 1 a.m. The room was cool and he could feel a slight breeze. Mike's
light snoring and his arm draped across him was deeply comforting. He
relaxed and recalled the past few hours.

His urge to urinate had awakened him and it returned with a
vengeance. Slowly he lifted Mike's arm and the covers trying not to awaken
him. With a snuffle and snort, Mike raised up on his elbow. "Ah, sleeping
beauty awakes."

"I've got to go to the bathroom! Sorry I woke you." Alejandro offered by
way of apology.

"Not a problem. Gotta go myself." Mike threw back the covers and they made
their way to the bathroom. "Mind sharing?" He asked, following Alejandro.

Their tumescent cocks let flow with thick steady streams. Alejandro smiled
inwardly at the casualness of the moment and the freedom he felt. Shaking
the last drops off, Mike reached over and flushed. "Ok, back to bed
Studley."

Alejandro followed Mike, enjoying the animal grace of the movement of his
muscles. Mike climbed back in and lifted the covers for Alejandro. "You Ok
here or would you prefer the sofa or Freddy's bed?" Alejandro almost
laughed out loud, `Freddy!?'

"This is good, unless I'm crowding you." he said.

"No you're good. Now I imagine after this week you've got more than a few
questions if what Freddy tells me is true. So here's your free pass. You
can ask me anything you want. Got it?" Mike offered. Alejandro considered
the offer and dozens of questions clamored for attention.

"I don't want to be too personal." Alejandro said.

This was met with a sustained laugh. Mike finally said, "Let me
understand. You are naked in my bed. I've given you a full body
massage. You've shot a load of cum that covered you and some of my
sheet. You wake me up to climb out of my bed `cause you gotta take a
leak. We share a toilet. Can it get a lot more personal than that?" Mike
chuckled again his laugh warm and deep.

Alejandro joined in the laugh. Finally he said, "Well two things come to
mind immediately."

"Ok what are they?" Mike asked.

"What was Freddy talking about in the shower Thursday night and what's with
the name Freddy?"

"The second question will lead to the first. I met Freddy when he was a
freshman in the wrestling club. Through a short series of circumstances we
discovered we liked the same thing only coming from opposite directions. I
found that calling him Freddy got his dander up and that was kinda fun for
me. It stuck. What can I say?

"The thing he asked me was if I was going to be able to get my meat up for
him when we got home. You see I like to pitch as much as he likes to
catch. Its convenient for both of us though we aren't what you might
consider, well, I don't know what you might call it. It's just convenient."
Mike said.

"Pitch and catch? You lost me." Alejandro said.

"Damn, you are really green, just like Freddy said you were. Pitching and
Catching -- how to explain that simply. Well basically, I like to fuck,
that's pitching. Freddy likes to get fucked and bigger is better as far as
he's concerned. That's catching. It's sort of shorthand used by gay guys
when they want to cut to the chase about their expectations." Mike
explained.

"Ok, I get it. I didn't know that about Frederick." Alejandro replied.

"How the hell did you expect to. You've been too busy with other stuff. I'm
guessing you've never `pitched' or `catched' if I can abuse a word. Am I
right?" Mike asked.

"That's right. I'm not even sure what I'd do if the opportunity presented
itself -- that is to pitch or catch." Alejandro stated.

Mike laughed again, "Don't worry about that. Freddy intends to make sure
you have that opportunity very soon. I've tried to warn him that you might
just surprise him and be a bottom like he is. You should have seen his
face!

"You'll know soon enough. Freddy's small enough that if you want to try
being on the receiving end it won't be too bad for you. Now as far as I'm
concerned, I could see in your eyes that you were expecting a lot more than
a massage and getting jerked off. But I'm not like Freddy at all. I mean
he's into lots of oral stuff. Not me. When the monster gets up it want's to
fuck. I guess I'm kinda like a `meat and potatoes' man." Mike explained.
"From what he told me, you two fit well together and more power to you."

Alejandro considered what he'd been told for a moment. Long enough for Mike
to ask, "You Ok, Studlet?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry I got so quiet. Lots to think about. I'm sure you
understand" Alejandro answered.

"Yeah, well what else do you want to know?" asked Mike.

"How did you figure out you were, well, you know, gay?" asked Alejandro.

"Boy you gotta learn to just spit it out or we're gonna be here all night
playing with words.

"I started playing around with guys when I was in the Boy Scouts. On
camping trips there were several of us that liked to get naked after lights
out. We'd jerk each other and play grab-ass.

"One of the guys went to my school. One afternoon, after school, he invited
me over to his house. The parents both worked and we got naked fast and we
began to play around. He really liked the size of my meat. He spent some
time holding it, blowing on it, just weird stuff like that. I didn't mind,
horny as I was, I knew we'd get off soon. Damned if he didn't start lickin'
and sucking on it. Sent me over the edge.

"I got calmed down and cleaned up and reached for him. He shook his head
and told me I'd have to follow the rules we used camping. What one did the
others have to do. That afternoon I sucked my first cock.

"We got together often after that. Seems that he had an older friend who
had taught him all kinds of stuff. That got me started. I came into my own
the next summer.

"My mom's youngest brother, Buckley, called him Buck, had gotten a job in
Springfield. He'd finished trade school with certificates in Drafting and
Design. His job was with a large firm of Design/Build guys who were up to
their ass in work. He racked up all kinds of overtime hours -- enough to
make a down payment on a row house in an area that was run down but ready
for a come back.

"He'd been doing the work himself but with working overtime, the project
was not happening, if you know what I mean. Well, he called `Sis', my mom,
and told her if she'd let me come for a visit I could try my hand at
demolition and rehab work on his house. If I liked it I could stay the
summer.

"School had just gotten out the week before and I was already bored and
getting on Mom's nerves. I packed and in twelve hours was on my way to
Springfield.

"When I got there, he wanted to entertain me a little before putting me to
work. We went to his gym to work out. In the locker room he got a look at
me for the first time since I was a kid. He dropped his jaw for a second
then looked up and said that I sure had some man sized equipment for a
kid. I didn't say much but I didn't like it.

"Mom's dad and brothers were all big guys. I can remember being impressed
with Buck's older brother when I was a kid. He came to visit one a hot
summer weekend afternoon wearing a wife beater. I kept staring at his
chest. Saving me from an embarrassing moment, he waited until mom left the
room. He said I would probably have a hairy chest when I grew up but I
needed to stop staring at him. He smiled and winked, letting me know it was
Ok.

"Buck hadn't been ignored by the family gene pool. He had a furry pelt
across his pecs and with a natural disposition to stay in shape, he was
well built.

"After we had played some one on one half court basketball we were heading
for the weight room. Passing some mats, I challenged him to a wrestling
match. What he didn't know was that I had wrestled the year before on the
high school team.

He took me on and we hit the mats hard. Both of us were determined to
win. He tapped and said he wanted to lose his shirt before it got torn. I
did the same. We looked each other over. Damn he looked hot and had a
strange expression in his eyes I couldn't describe. I decided to play some
grab-ass as much as I could get away with.

"I got bolder with each move. I thought he was getting a boner but wasn't
sure. First chance I got, I shot my hand through his hips and rubbed his
cock as I slid my hand over his thigh for a throw. Not hard boned, but
nearly there. I hopped on his back to ride him and let him feel my swollen
meat riding his ass crack.

"He bucked me off fast and rolled on top of me. Sliding a hand under me, he
grabbed my cock letting me know that two could play that game. That just
lit my fire. It became a game of who could grab who the fastest. After a
few minutes he stopped us and looked at me. We were both sweaty and
breathing hard. I knew I'd crossed a line with him and hoped I hadn't
screwed everything up.

"We probably shouldn't be doing this. I don't want to get in trouble and if
you go home and talk about this I sure as hell will." I looked him in the
eye and said that if we could take this to his house we could have more
fun. He looked at me real funny then suggested that we grab our stuff and
clean up at his apartment.

"On the way home I began to freak a little. What if he told my mom? Well he
was smooth and led the conversation asking loaded questions that I could
either dodge or not. I hinted at stuff I'd done and slowly we began to
understand we were a lot alike.

"When we got home, he suggested that we share a shower. I knew I was home
free. Later that night he introduced me to fucking. He just couldn't get
enough of my cock and I wanted to rent his ass for the summer. It was so
hot.

"Needless to say, I worked with him for the two months before football
started and the following two summers. Sweating and doing work on his nasty
house by day and fucking him every night. The house turned out to be a real
show place when we were done. He's sold it, made a killing and has two more
in process."

Alejandro was quiet for a few seconds letting it soak in. "Do you still get
together with him."

"Every month or so he comes here or I travel south, and we fuck our brains
out. Helps keep me stay focused on school work -- well that's my excuse."
Mike said as he laughed. "Ok, what's next?"

"Damn this is kind of embarrassing." Alejandro paused trying to find the
right words and failing. "I felt sort of strange around Frederick after
Wednesday night. Not bad, but when he just walked out of the locker room
with you and didn't even bother to say more than `Hi' I didn't know if I'd
done something wrong or what."

Mike sighed, "Alex, after a guy has his first real hot experience with
another guy there's always some kind of reaction. It might be guilt,
disgust, affection, you name it; but, anytime I talk to someone who's just
been through it there is some stuff to deal with.

"When we left after practice, it was standard operating procedure. We come
back here, grab some supper and I head back to work and he usually
studies. Well we both know how that changed but Freddy didn't ignore you,
if that's what you're thinking.

"My advice -- when he gets back talk to him. He's been through this and has
friends who have been through it. He'll understand and it won't be a joke
to him. Trust me."

"Mike, do your parents know you are gay?" Alejandro asked.

Mike sighed and didn't say anything for a few seconds. "No and it's going
to be really tough when I tell `em. It's been going on seven years since I
figured it out and have played the straight, athletic, macho guy the entire
time. `Play' is the wrong word. The only pretend part of that is the
`straight' part. The other stuff is part of who I am. My dad is down on
gays -- always refers to them as fags and queers. I think Mom will be able
to handle it better than him. Hell, I'm 22 and a senior who's gonna
graduate. I don't know why the thought of it makes me so uncomfortable.

"I'm not planning on saying anything anytime soon. End of this semester
I'll complete my certs as an emergency medical technician. I've already got
certification as a masseuse and my emphasis in anatomy and physiology in my
bio major will be a big help with a variety of jobs.

"I'm heading west to California, Denver, someplace a long way from home and
make a life for myself. When the situation arises, I'll tell em. But even
then it won't be easy."

"You getting tired of all my questions?" Alejandro asked. Hearing Mike's
`Nope' he continued.

"You said that Frederick and `fit well together'. What do you mean?"

"You did hear what I said about all the oral stuff. What about that don't
you understand?" Mike asked with a touch of irritation.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to press the issue." Alejandro replied.

Mike's tone softened, "This is getting a little close to the bone here but
that's Ok, I said you have a free pass. You see, I've always" he paused
trying to find words that wouldn't offend, "well, the kissing and stuff is
a taboo from childhood with me. Between men the closest a man gets to that
is a quick hug.

"Freddy teases me from time to time when he's sure he's out of reach and I
can't pound him. He tells me I've got to find my inner self or I'll spend
most of my life alone with the exception of occasional impersonal fuck
sessions and my fist for gratification. What pisses me off is that I know
he's right and I don't know what to do about it.

"The oral stuff is just so personal, maybe I mean intimate. I mean a fuck
is a fuck. That I can deal with. The other stuff, well, I guess maybe with
the right guy it'd be Ok. I just can't imagine it though. What I said about
the two of you wasn't meant as an insult. I hope you know that."

"I know, Mike. I'm still trying to figure most of this stuff out. The
kissing and other stuff was great. It was like something I'd been
missing. The first time, uh, you don't want to hear this so I'll just say
it was really natural for me." Alejandro finished.

"See, that's what I meant about you and Freddy. It's a good fit for both of
you. Just be careful. It's that kind of thing that can get a guy hurt
bad. I've seen it more than a couple of times. With that, it's no different
for guys as it is for girls. I mean straight and gay. Damn, do you know
what I'm trying to say?!"

"I do, Mike. Relax. Its good advice." Alejandro responded. Hearing Mike
yawn, he added, "Let's get to sleep."

Yawning again Mike said, "Sorry bud, long day today and another one
tomorrow. Anymore questions that come to mind, just ask. K?" With that,
Mike turned, pulling a cover over him, and was soon gently snoring.

Alejandro woke briefly as Mike climbed out of bed, put on his running gear
and headed out at a few minutes after 6 a.m. When Alejandro got up there
was a note telling him to help himself to juice and toast and that Mike
would see him Monday at practice.

After a shower and glass of juice, Alejandro grabbed his books and headed
back to the dorm to finish cleaning up. The day passed quickly. Being one
who hated to wait until the last minute, he continued research on the two
papers due at semester's end, finished his reading and accounting work for
the week and reviewed for two upcoming tests.

Arriving at the dorm after a quick dinner, he saw a note from his roomie
that Frederick had called. Checking for a quarter, he went to find an
available phone. After small talk about their respective weekends,
Frederick suggested that Alejandro come over so they could pick up where
they left off. It was an abrupt segue but the thought made Alejandro's cock
stir. He headed for Frederick's apartment.

On arriving, Frederick told Alejandro that Mike was at the library till
late and they had the place to themselves. Grabbing a couple of beers,
Frederick said with an impish grin, "You want to take this to the bedroom
or sit out here and talk for a bit?"

"It might be difficult to drink a beer lying down. You mind sitting out
here?" Alejandro responded, unsure of what might happen. He wanted to talk
to Frederick before they hopped into bed, but was uncomfortable about how
to begin. Frederick tossed him a beer and nodded toward the sofa and chair
in the living area.

"So, what's up?" Frederick asked.

"Nothing special, just thought it, well, I just wanted to talk to you
some." Alejandro almost mumbled, hating the way he felt.

"So, like I said, what's up?" Frederick asked again, looking closely at
Alejandro's face and noting his body language. With a leg curled under him
and his free arm across his chest he looked uptight, Frederick
thought. Assuming a very open position, Frederick smiled and waited.

"I just wasn't comfortable coming over here and jumping into bed. That's
not what I meant, well maybe it is. I just need to talk with you."
Alejandro replied feeling his face flush. After an awkward start about his
weekend at home and the massage with Mike, he found his stride.

Once he got into it, Alejandro relaxed. Uncurling his body, he threw a leg
across the arm of the chair. Frederick, reading the change in body
language, smiled. The description of the massage was animated. Frederick
agreed that Mike was the best, though sometimes he had other designs on
Frederick's body. They both laughed about Frederick's nickname.

Alejandro launched into his feelings of Thursday afternoon when Frederick
and Mike left. "Not a word out of you. I wondered for a moment if I'd just
been another conquest giving you a hot time in bed, not that I'm
complaining of course."

The change on Frederick's face was immediate. His eyes that had been
reflecting Alejandro's experiences were suddenly hard. His body was
still. Alejandro didn't see the change immediately. When he did he stopped
short mid sentence, "What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern and
confusion. "Did I say something out of line?"

Frederick had been leaning forward, legs spread, and forearms resting on
his lower thighs. He relaxed enough to lean back on the sofa and stretched
his neck. His eyes were closed. Opening his eyes and taking in a deep
breath he glanced at the ceiling for a second, then at Alejandro. Some of
the hardness was gone but not all and Alejandro waited for him to speak.

With a measured pace and even tone he said "I'm reminding myself that we
haven't known each other nearly as long as it seems to me. That may sound
strange to you but it's the way I feel. Further, I got to keep in mind that
you are awfully new to all of this. If it weren't for that, I'd be really
pissed. As it is, I'm Ok. I'm calming down. You've got to understand some
things. Now listen.

"You're a smart guy. I'll bet you don't forget much of what you read, see
or hear. That being true, I'm sitting here wondering if you thought I was
just blowing smoke Wednesday night. You had a bunch of emotional
baggage. It was like handling crystal to get you calmed down so you could
hear what I wanted to say.

"Hey, Frederick I'm," Frederick cut him off with a look.

Still pissed Frederick continued with a tone of sarcasm, "Not wanting to
bore you I'll just hit the high lights." Frederick recounted in cold
analytical terms Alejandro's intimate confessional as he had unburdened his
years of self doubt and fear. Frederick included his own culpability in his
reprise of facts. His voice though `matter of fact', with little anger
evident, gathered energy.  Alejandro knew Frederick's anger, barely
contained, was just beneath the surface.

As he came to his conclusion, his voice began to rise, betraying the
passion he felt.  Frederick finished shouting, "And if you feel the need to
continue your questioning of my sincerity in what I've said, you can just
get the fuck out of my face. You got that!"

Alejandro was on his feet immediately. His teeth clinched and his jaw
working, he held his fingers open determined not to make a fist. He stood
stock still. Looking across the room and out the kitchen window he began to
get himself under control. Finally he gulped a deep breath and felt his
anger begin to dissipate and said, "Yep, got it." After a brief pause and
another deep breath he asked, "Now, you mind if I get myself another beer?"

"As long as you get me one." Frederick said, his tone now more
relaxed. Alejandro got the beer and resumed his casual position on the
chair.

He looked over at Frederick and saw the twinkle in his eye and the familiar
crooked smile and said, "That was both stupid and rude." Taking a sip from
the can he looked at Frederick and said simply, "I hope you'll forgive
me. I apologize."

Frederick just looked at him. Finally he said, "Thanks for the beer. I was
afraid I'd totally fucked up big time back there. It's not the way to treat
a friend. Sorry I lost control." After a moment he added, "You know how to
keep your cool under fire, I was impressed. The beer gambit was classic."

Alejandro returned the smile and held up his can in mock salute. Deciding
to change the subject he asked, "Tell me more about what you mean when you
say `you have my back'. I remember the words but I've been trying to put
them in a context. I know I'm not getting it right."

"Do you understanding in a fighting context? That's where it comes from."
Frederick said. "When I tell that to someone, I'm making a promise that
what ever happens to them they don't stand alone. If somebody's giving you
a ration for what ever reason, I'm with you. If you need help and ask, I'm
there. On the other hand, if I see that you are blind to something, like in
denial about something, I'll risk pissing you off to make you see things
from another perspective.

"It is a commitment most often between friends. Things can change
though. People go different directions and grow apart. That's life. In a
situation like that a person might not see a friend heading for trouble. Or
the friend might just not feel comfortable asking for help. Making more
sense now?" Frederick asked.

"Yeah, thanks. If it didn't sound so lame right now, I wish I could say the
same thing to you." Alejandro said looking directly into Frederick's
eyes. Frederick met his stare and the silence grew for a few seconds.

"It won't sound that way at all. You are a man of your word. Thank you, it
means a lot to me." Frederick answered quietly.

Little did either know how their relationship would grow and how the
promises they made would be fulfilled.

Suddenly it seemed Frederick had remembered something. "Hey you want to
play some ball?" he asked. Watching Alejandro's brow furrow and his
expression change, Frederick began to laugh. "Come on, you know, play
ball." His laughter continued.

As the intended meaning dawned on Alejandro he grinned and responded, "Just
as long as you brought your catchers mitt. I'm ready."

"Good. Now get your ass in my bedroom and strip. Looks like I'm going to
have to teach you everything, now that I think about it." Frederick said
laughing as he followed Alejandro into his room.


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