Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2005 03:07:42 +0000 (GMT) From: Lidyah Khan Subject: the-ugly-duckling chapter one Summary: Jordan begins a different day than usual. Ratings: PG 13- NC 17 Disclaimer: The story, the characters all belong to me. Archiving or plagiarising my stories are prohibited without permission. Legal: If you are not of age to read this please leave. However I hold no responsibility if you do choose to read this story. Please do at your own risk. Links: I post at www.slashfanfiction.com and www.nifty.org under the name Lidyah. My live journal http://www/livejournal.com/community/orton_fics is a locked community. You must have a live journal to access my community. Lidyah is by no means my real name, this is a mere alias. Other than these three places, and at odd times at www.fictionpress.com I only post my stories there. I have also started a yahoo groups for those who follow updates with them: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lidyah17/ Email: lidyah17@yahoo.co.uk or orton_qaf@hotmail.com. Feedback is lovely whether good or bad. Have something intelligent to say if you feel that my writing isn't all that good, giving me tips and pointers will help. * I lay on my small office couch for about five minutes. I usually pitied myself a lot longer at home, but I had work to attend to. Heaving myself off the couch, which was a difficult task on it's on, I moved towards my desk and plopped into my chair. I moved my mouse a little and my screen re-appeared after being on stand by. I looked closely at my programme the numbers and letters looking more of a virus, than a code to help make a better computer. I wasn't looking at the code to understand what I had wrote, I was just dazed and looking past the screen, other than at the screen. A loud buzzing sound jolted me out of my daze. I reached over and pressed the small grey button, "Yes?" "Junior Johnson has scheduled an appointment with you." "For when?" "Later tonight. He said he was quite busy and wouldn't have time to fit you in during the week." Fit me in. Man that made me feel so much better, this was business something I was good at and he couldn't find time to fit in his best programmer, that fucking piece of s----. "Mr. Smith?" "What time did he say Helen?" I was irritated now, and I felt like punching someone. "Geez. Don't get all snappy with me, it's not like you have a social life." Helen was a young twenty year old, blonde hair, blue eyes and the look of eternal elegance. For a beautiful young woman, she was a crass, foul-mouthed, rude bitch. Who didn't know the first thing about using a computer. The only reason she was hired was that she flirted her way through her interview with old Johnson. Cliche I know but it happens. Every office has it's flirt. "Helen get on with it," I prodded her along. Usually she would forget what she had been told five seconds earlier. "He said eleven sharp." "AT NIGHT!", I yelled. My God I may not have a life but that didn't mean he had to take the utter piss. "Geez. Do you mind not blowing my ear drums," whined Helen on the other end. "This is ridiculous," I cursed loudly. "Well whatever. You are scheduled in for an appointment then. So be there or be fired. His words not mine," and with that she hung up, I let go of the button, and sat heavily back into my seat. Why does this shit always happen to me. I come in early because I like too, but I hate leaving really late that just makes me look pathetic. Now I knew I wasn't going to be able to work. I now officially hated my new boss. * -Knock, knock, knock- "Come in," I yelled, while tapping away furiously on my keyboard. I willed myself to get something done, and I knew that sitting around not doing anything would agitate me more. "Anything from the trolley dear?" Chianna was an elderly black women, slim and tall her hair was always pulled back in a tight bun. She told me she refused to stop working until her legs could no longer carry her. Her job was simple, push a cart full off assorted sandwiches. She always graced me with a smile and a small kiss on the cheek. I walked over to her, she leaned over and as usual kissed me on the cheek, "How is my boy doing?" Chianna is the mother I never had, she took me under her wing when I started in the business when I was twenty-one, six years later and our bond was stronger than ever. "Just tired, I can't seem to work today," I said wearily. She gave me a small nod, closed my office door, picked up my favourite chicken sandwich, led me to the couch sat me down and handed me the food. I took it graciously and unwrapped the heavenly goodness. She handed me some orange juice and sat next to me, patting me on the knee. "Tell momma what's the matter." After knowing her for two years, and knowing about my relationship with my mother, Chianna told me that she saw me as one of her sons, and that if I thought of her as my mother then I should call her `momma'. So I did, and I never felt any remorse or guilt with the idea that maybe Chianna was replacing my `other' mother. Now when I said I stuck out like a sore thumb in my family portraits I wasn't kidding. My mother disliked me. I say dislike because she said to me that she didn't hate me, just that she didn't `understand' me. I was never a looker then nor now. My mother went out of her way to leave me home alone when I was a kid. She would take my brothers to parties, and parks, and everywhere that resulted in being outside. I remember when I was ten, and my mother had some of her `swat' friends over for some brunch. Her "closest' friend (If you can get one in between these backstabbers), said that I was one ugly kid. I remember the conversation like it happened just a few days ago. -flashback- "Claris the lunch is absolutely wonderful", said Joanne to my mother. Both were seated in the outside gazebo, eating smoked salmon and drinking red wine. "I'm glad you liked it, I had the fish imported in from Scotland," replied my mother. "Exquisite. So where are those two strapping boys of yours. I tell you Claris those two are going to be heart breakers." My mother laughed smoothly, "They are out with their father. He wanted to take them out fishing." "What about the other one?" "Whom," asked my mother like she forgot she had another son. "Jordan? That is his name right," giggled Joanne. "Oh. Probably up in his room reading or what not." "Claris darling please don't take this the wrong way...but you know compared to Adam and Chris he is well...ugly..." My mother laughed loudly," I know why do you think I never allow him to come outside all that much. I don't know what genes he got." Both my mother and Joanne continued to laugh, as I ran back upstairs and into my bedroom sobbing into my pillow. -end flashback- I had told Chianna about that, and many more hurtful memories between what my mother said about me, and what was said between us. She was out-raged and saddened by the lack of love I got from her. My father was just as bad, he excluded me from any `father-son' time, and only gave that pleasure to my older brothers. As years passed and as I grew into a teenager, I threw myself into schoolwork. Unlike my brothers I wasn't going to be achieving any scholarships through sports, so I used my mind. My father was and still is a rich man. Owning a multi-million dollar fashion business, he had enough money to put all of his three sons through college, a million times over. Yet he refused because he was a greedy man. My brothers got their scholarships through football, and I got mine through my academics. Both Adam and Chris got a party, while I was again left out in the cold. My brothers however were great to me, they were the only ones who celebrated my birthday, and bought me presents. The ones that through me a small party when I got my scholarship or passed my exams. The ones that attended my graduation from university. They were there when I got my own house, and my first job. They loved me through and through and were more like parents to me than my own. My parents tried to make them distance themselves from me, it worked when they were younger, but as they got older they hated our parents for treating me the way they did and still do. Adam and Chris both still live in Chicago, and I see them once a month and we call each other every two days, and email everyday. Adam being the oldest at thirty-four wanted to make sure we didn't all loose touch when I moved. Adam at first didn't want me to move to Los Angeles, but Chris made him realise that I was a young man and had to draw my own path, and they couldn't coddle me forever. Chris who was only a year younger than Adam, he was much more laid back. Other than myself and Chianna he is the only one that knows about me being gay and a virgin. Not that I don't trust Adam, he's so much of an alpha male, that his sex stories intimidate me, and I felt he would laugh at me about my `situation.' I guess I shouldn't assume that from him, but telling him is slightly daunting. I promised Chris a few months back that I would tell Adam about me being gay. I own them both the least to be truthful. Without my brothers I would have been truly lost. However when I left Chicago at twenty-one I felt lonely and scared. Chianna is a mother of five, all which are boys and all whom are only one or two years apart. All the handsome, well muscled, beautiful black men. They also took me under their wing, never once looking at me as an outsider. It's true what they say, sometimes strangers seem like your own. Jonathan, Peter, Mackey, Thomas and little Albert helped me through some of my worst time. I had been a cutter, a few years back sometimes life got too much for me. Peter and Mackey had come over to my place, each of them had a key and when I didn't open they let themselves in. I didn't hear them when they opened the door to my bathroom and saw me slowly slicing at my arm. Everything after that was a blur, and I remember waking up a few days later and seeing the hurt and pain in their eyes, and vowed never to go back there. Over the years we have become a tight family, when Adam and Chris come they come with me to see the boys and Chianna. I have the love of seven brothers and a mother, yet I still felt incomplete. "Tell me baby," she cooed at me making me smile at her. "New boss. He's `demanded' to see me at eleven at night," I replied lying. Yes I was agitated and frustrated at him but it wasn't that. I knew that Chianna was buying it. Why did I bother again? "I'm sure you'll be fine with seeing him then, you must understand his point too, and sweetie please don't lie to me. What is the matter?" I sigh loudly and shrug, "He's gorgeous and he's everything I can't have," God sometimes I wish I could shoot myself for sounding like a little brat. "Says who?" "You have to be supportive," I replied sarcastically. "No I don't baby. You can be everything that he is, you can be that man who looks like he walked out a magazine shoot, but unlike some you don't put much thought in appearance because at the end of the day, it's the heart and soul what matters." I smile at her lovingly and wonder why she didn't give birth to me? "You will find your love my son, and he'll love you for YOU, and not the way you dress, eat, walk or talk. He'll love you for your love, trust and friendship. And I'll be damned if I let you sit there and pity yourself because you don't think your good enough," she finished sternly. I laughed lightly, "Got it momma." "That my boy," she replied patting my knee, "I have rounds to make. Coming to dinner Aiye?" "Of course." "See you then baby." I wave her out watching her push her trolley, she was the only one who could get me out of a stump. Feeling better and rejuvenated, I made my way over to my computer and began working again, and this time I wasn't dazing out. * Time had rolled along and I was so engrossed in my work, that I didn't hear Helen enter my room. "Geez. Are you deaf?" "Can you say `geez' anymore than you do," I snapped back not bothering to look at her. "Funny. It's nine, I'm headed off remember you have to see stud in two hours. Don't make me lose this job," with a swish of her blonde hair she left my room, leaving a trail of sweet perfume lingering after her. I continued to work hard, I was close to finishing my programme and I was full of adrenaline. * I leaned back against my chair, and smiled excitedly. I had finished the code I had been working on for the last four months. It was probably one of my best works. I glanced at my watch, and then did a quick re-take it was ten past eleven. Holy crap, I stumbled out my door and all but ran to the new bosses office. Heaving slightly I knocked on the door, and heard him shout out to come in. I opened the door and saw him standing by the window. No longer dressed in his black suit. He was decked out in blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. If it was possible he looked more beautiful dressed casually. He moved his hand initiating me to sit down. I did so quickly and folded my hand on top of my lap. Fidgeting only slightly. He sat down placing the papers he held on the smooth table top. "Tardiness is something I do not tolerate," his voice was smooth but firm. "I'm so sorry sir. I was working out the new graphics code for plan213 and I didn't realise the time." "In any case you must be able to attend schedules on time Mr. Smith," he was so professional that it made the whole situation sort of funny. Mostly because he looked like a gorgeous dumb model. "I understand." "So do I. You seem to have a high standard here Mr. Smith and I see that you spend most of your time working hard for this company. It is all appreciated, and all your codes have been major successes. " I nodded blushing slightly. "My uncle may have not realised what he had here, but I do and I intend to keep you close to me." If it was possible my heart started beating that much faster. "I'll be looking over the code of plan213 you have just finished, and I must say a month before the deadline is very impressive." "Thank you," I replied modestly. "If that is an all go, we'll be both working on a new code. It's a hush, hush matter and all under wraps and only the best and talented will be allowed to work on this. Seeing as you are one of the best I hope you say yes to my new proposition." "As long as it's not illegal," I replied giving him a wry grin. He smirked at me, `Indeed not Mr. Smith. But it will be beautiful." "Well I can't wait to start then." He smiled softly at me, "Leave the code at my desk first thing tomorrow morning. Thank you for staying back, and welcome to the team." He stuck out his hand which I took smoothly, "Thank you." I left his office and all but leapt into the air. The day looked that much brighter.