Date: Fri, 29 Aug 2003 13:01:14 -0700 (PDT) From: JMH Subject: Wedding Ring/Wedding Ring 16 Here is another chp folks but this one deals with more serious issues about love, family, and sex. I hope you enjoy. Again, this is a story about gay relationships so 1. if you are breaking the law, underage, or just hate gay stuff don't read any further. The World Wide Web is a big place so you can find something else. 2. The story is not based on any real person place thing, or another person's idea. So any similarities are pure chance. 3. Since this story is of my own creation, I have the copyright to it. No other postings, except at nifty, are allowed. Nor is the selling of the story to others permitted. Any questions about the above, please write. Enjoy JMH trandar2002@yahoo.com ********************************************* In the end both Darren and Philip chose the adoption route. They endeared themselves to one of the social workers Philip had spent some time working with. Monica promised to give them the best of the litter, but Darren, wanting to rescue a child pressed her for some of her harder cases. This of course agitated Philip who wanted the situation to be ideal. In compromise they set some rules. First... as Darren wanted an older child while Philip wanted a baby they agreed that the kid had to be below the age of twelve but above the age of three. Rule two was no drug addicts... Philip was still a cop and could not afford to have drugs found in his home. The final rule was that the child had to be accepting of their relationship. It was the last rule that had made things so difficult... what kid would jump up and down on hearing that a gay couple would want to adopt them. It left just a small stack of files. "Now I know this does not look like a great number of possibilities but they a good group," Monica said as she handed them the first file. "He's ten years old and just adorable." Darren smiled as he shared the file but Philip had a disbelieving look on his face. "He has Downs Syndrome." "Yes, but he is an amazing child." "I'm sure he is," Darren said with a forced smile... he was finding this embarrassing. "Yes, I'm sure he is, but I have no intention on taking a child whom I will have to take care of for the rest of my life. I want a kid I can talk to and have fun with." Philip insisted. "You can talk to him and he is loads of fun," Monica insisted. "My answer is no." Philip said flatly. "Ok but let me ask you... if you don't take him who will? Do you think he has much of a chance to being adopted? Do you think he deserves to live his whole life in an institution or foster care?" "No I don't. I just don't see why we have to be the ones... and don't give me that look Darren," Philip said as he noticed Darren giving him puppy eyes. "We have no idea how to take care of such a child." "I took care of Will when he was in rehab," Darren said the memory instantly causing him pain. "I know hon, buts its just... I don't think I have the patience to raise such a child. I'm a cop, I'm used to people listening and doing what I say." "Yes... but you also know how to defuse tense situations." "Darren, when we talked about getting a kid I had hopes. I hoped he would be on the football team... hoped he would go to college... hoped to have grandkids one day." "He can have grandkids... Down's Syndrome does not pass on." "Yes, but we would have to help raise them." "We never finish raising our kids... it will be the same with John." "Not the same... not at all. I know why you want this child... he reminds you of Will." "Yes... that might be correct, but if that's the case the same is true with you. Even with Will buried under the ground you still feel threatened by him." "Alright!" "Well I guess Kyle is out of the question," Monica said as she made to take the folder back. "No... we'll keep it," Philip said as he took the file from Darren's hand. Darren's last comment had struck home with him. It was no longer an issue of Kyle not being the ideal child but now one of pride... could he prove that Will was not still and issue for him. ********************************************** It meant that Will had to give up his own room, but in the end Lane was able to stay and continue his watching. At the end of each night Will would go to Lane's room and talk about their life experiences. It was when Will told him about his intentional arrest that Lane stopped him. "You mean to tell me you arranged yourself to be arrested?" "Well, yeah, I knew from Philip where the police were. It did not take me much time to find a seller who was really a cop." "I think I know why you did it, but I want you to tell me." "I did it... I did it because I didn't deserve Darren." "Why do you think that... especially after he spent so much time taking care of you?" "That's because my mother made him." "Did he tell you that?" "No, my mom did." "Then you might be wrong... If my mother told me to do anything I would more likely do the opposite." "I guess, but you don't know Darren." "True... but I'm also not as emotionally caught up in him as you are. I might be able to see things more clearly." "Ok then explain why the first guy he had sex with was Jacob... not me?" "You've told me that you and he had been good friends for a long time before you came out to him." "Yes." "During that time did you ever try to make a move on him?" "No." "Ok... then what are you upset about." "He should of known how I felt." "But you never told him... I know you think highly of him, but do you think he's so amazing that he can read minds." "No..." "And what did Darren say to you when you finally came out to him?" "I don't remember. I can't remember those days since the accident." "I see... is that the real problem." "Yes... I woke up with him telling me he loved me. That should have been the happiest day of my life but..." "But you could not remember how he fell in love with you." "Yes... it was like I had woken up to find myself in a prearranged marriage... a happy marriage but still prearranged." "You still love him." "Yes." "Then that is all that matters... go back to him." "I can't... it's been too long. How can I explain everything to him?" "I don't think that would matter... just you coming back would be good." "Yes, but I will still need his forgiveness." "And you are too much of a man to accept it." "Yes... every time I would see him the fact that he needs to forgive me would torture me." "But that is already happening... would it not be better knowing what Darren really thinks." "Enough..." Will said frustrated. "You know why I've lived in the closet... what about you?" "That is very hard for me to talk about." "Why? "Because it... because it is so difficult to talk about." "You don't have to tell me." "Yes... I need to. Not for your benefit but for my own," Lane finally said after taking a deep breath. "Ok..." "I was five when IT happened. I had gone over to a friend's house... I should have told my mother where I was going. She always insisted I tell her where I was, but that was not the type of neighborhood. Kids were always popping in and out of each other homes. ...I went to my friend's house not telling my mother and there was where IT happened." After a long silence Will had to ask the question. "What happened?" Lane gave Will such a look that it could of caused a flower to wilt. "Are you going to make me say it...?" "..." "I was RAPED... ok! I had not yet finished kindergarten and I was fucked up the ass!" "I'm sorry Lane," Will said for he truly was. He wanted to hug Lane to try to take away the pain but at that moment it looked like Lane would jump if touched. After a long moment Lane continued..."As a kid I kept it all to myself for I felt it was all my fault... my mom HAD told me not to wander off. I was sure that if I told her I would have been punished. I also became hyper sensitive to touch. Besides my mother I would not let anyone touch me." "Then I entered my teenage years and I began to notice other guys. You can't imagine the conflict of both wanting people to touch and not touch you. It also led me to start blaming myself... I became half convinced that the one who did IT to me did it because he could see that I was gay...that some how it was all my fault." "It was not your fault," Will had to interrupt. "I know, but when something senseless happens, the mind tries to explain it regardless of how insane the explanation is. So instead of perusing men, I pursued God in the hope that he would save me from myself, but all I did was end up hating myself which is not what God wanted... he wanted me to love myself." "I'm glad you can still see that." "Thanks, but it took cancer for me to see that." "Doing ok?" Will asked when he saw Lane wipe away a tear. "Yeah... glad I got that off my chest." "Sooo... how am I going to heal you?" "Heal me? I don't think I am ever going to be free of cancer." "Put that aside for a sec... what about your spirit?" "My soul?" "Yes... would you like to have it healed more then it is right now." "Yes but I don't know how to do that." "Just leave it to me," Will said as the wheels in his head began to turn. **************************************************** It was decided to take things slow, not just so that Darren and Philip could learn how to take care of Kyle, but also for Kyle to get used to them as he had lived in a mental home for his whole life. Kyle, to Philip's surprise, instantly became attached to him as his police uniform made Philip someone Kyle right away trusted. Kyle became so attached to him that Philip worried that Darren might feel ignored, but each time Philip tried to pass Kyle off to him, Darren who laughed and pass him back. "You need this time," Darren insisted. "You've never been a parent before." "I should have taken the time to change my uniform," Philip replied. "No... this is great." "You don't feel left out?" "Not at all... you need this." "Ok... but if you do feel left out just tell me." "No... I like watching," Darren grinned as Kyle made his tenth grab for the handcuffs. "Hey... don't touch those," Philip scolded Kyle. He immediately regretted it as Kyle gave him a look that could cause rocks to weep. "Oh don't do that," Philip pleaded. "You better let him play with them." "Ok... here you go Kyle," Philip grinned as he handed over the cuffs. As soon as he had them in his hands, it was as if Kyle noticed Darren for the first time. "Are you the bad guy?" "No..." Darren said as he held back his laughter. "He is my prisoner though," Philip joined in. "I have to keep a close eye on him." "Why is he not wearing the cuffs?" Kyle asked concerned. "Good point...want to put them on him?" "Now wait a minute," Darren half protested. But it was only a matter of seconds before his hands were behind his back. Philip did most of the work but let Kyle click the cuffs in place. "There... now he can't get away. But if we want to be sure you better sit on his lap," Philip said as he put Kyle on Darren's lap. Darren at first worried that Kyle would fall off but Kyle soon moved so his back rested again Darren's chest. "Why are you a bad man?" Kyle asked with complete sincerity. Darren gave Philip a deadly stare warning him not to confuse the kid. "He's not a bad man but I have to keep an eye on him for his own protection..." And so Philip tried to explain witness protection programs. "So as you see he will be living with us because we both will have to protect him." "I will be a police man?" "Yep." "Yay!" Kyle laughed with glee as he hugged and kissed Darren before running to Philips open arms. After leaving the center, Philip uncuffed Darren and hugged him. "You were so right about this," he thanked his lover. "I already miss him.' "Same here hon." "But you know... I actually liked having you in cuffs." "Well I'm glad that you enjoyed it but your not getting me in bed with them." "Darn it," Philip said, disappointed. "Not even just once?" "NO!" "Ok..." Philip tried to say in a sad voice but he could not hide a sly grin. "Am I going to have to take way your toys?" "Hmmmm?" Philip ignored the question as he headed for his patrol car. "Ok..." Darren gave up as he made for his own car. He would have to sleep with one eye open for a while. ************************************************************** The first part of Will's plan involved cutting off the phone to Lane's room. If he could not have room service he would be forced to come out to eat. Second, Will called the mainland for the services of a nurse...male preferable... and one who was also skilled in massage therapy. His lawyer was able to find one right away and would be flying in the next day. When Will went over to Lane's room, he could hear loud cussing coming from inside. "Work, you fucking piece of shit!" Lane shouted as he banged the phone against the wall, leaving black marks on the peach painted walls. "We will bill you for that," Will said with a straight face. "Good... I'll pay for it. Just have them painters bring me a steak as well." "Not sure how good they are at cooking." "I don't care... I'm hungry." "We have two restaurants." To that, Lane gave Will a look of hate. "You know I can't leave this room." Lane said in a slow... over enunciated voice. "Well with the way you wave the phone around, I think you have the energy to make it down the hill." "You know that is not the reason." "Yes, and its finally time you got over it. Join me for dinner... I know how much you like our jerk chicken... you've ordered it enough times." "I have nothing to wear." "You have plenty to wear." Will said pointed to the open suitcase full of clothes. "Yes, but I look like a skeleton in them." "Then wear your bathrobe." "I can't go to dinner in a bathrobe." "Hahahaha... you've seen the people on the beach... if they can go to dinner in a thong I think you can go in a bathrobe." "Alright... but I want a private table." "Fine... then after dinner I'm taking you shopping." "You said nothing about shopping." "I just did... you said you didn't have any clothes so we are going out to get you some. In fact... lets do that before dinner." "... Let me guess you are not going to let me eat until I let you dress me up like some doll." `Like some ken doll...yes." Will grinned. "Ok... I'll do it but only if you do one thing for me... tell Darren you are still alive." "...No." "Then I guess I'll just stay here and starve." "Stubborn bastard..." Will grunted. He wanted to help Lane out and he knew Lane was just returning the favor, but he did not think Lane understood how hard it would be for him to talk to Darren again. It was not a matter of not wanting to, but the fear that Darren would tell him he did not love him anymore. It was better, from his point of view, to live off the memories of the past then to risk them in rejection. "All right... I'll write to him." While there was a small boutique at the hotel Will was sure that the last thing Lane would look good in was Lycra. So they boarded the plane for Kingston, Jamaica, where Will took Lane to a tailor. Will observed as Lane tighten up when he was being measured. Each touch would cause him to cringe and raise his shoulders. "Come on now... if you keep that up the clothes will just make look as stresses as you feel." Will said as he grabbed Lane by his shoulders. "I would if I could focus on something other then getting poke by a pin." "Ok... the I'll tell you a story." "Which one." "The first time I fucked Darren." "Oh a comedy!" "Haha...very funny. It's a love story really. Jacob had just disappeared..." ****************************************************** "Doing ok hon?" Will had asked as Darren stared at the phone. "I can almost hear the phone ringing in my head," Darren sighed. "Well then it's time for you to get away from it before it drives you crazy." Will insisted as he grabbed Darren's arm... pulling him out of his chair. "It's only been three days and I already miss him... why? We had been apart longer when I was with you," Darren said confused by his emotions. "Well, my guess is that you knew when you were with me that Jacob would be here waiting for you... you no longer have that." "I guess." "Come on... lets go to bed. You feel a void right now and I want to fill it." "Are you trying to be funny or are you just a bad romantic." "A little of both... now come on. We no longer have to worry about a nurse coming in on us. I want a whole night of loving out of you. "I feel too sad to fuck," Darren pouted. "I know... I bet you've not even gotten off since Jacob left. I want to see how much love juice you have saved up." "You're just horny." "Yes I am... but the only person I want to fuck is you," Will said seriously causing Darren to give him a weak smile. "Come on Darren... let me take care of you. Let me make you happy again." "Alright," Darren relented as he fell into Will's arms. Locked together in each other's arms, Will walked Darren over to the bed kissing him lightly on the way. At the foot of the bed, Will pushed Darren back onto the mattress before taking a few steps back. "Rule number one... we no longer wear clothes in bed." Will counted off as he untucked his shirt. "Ok..." Darren said as he began undoing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. "Rule number two... we never call it "fucking" when we make love for that is what it is- "love". "Alright." "Rule number three... the beginning and end of our lovemaking must always include a kiss." "I can live with that." "I knew you would like that. Finally rule number four... regardless of other men we agree to stay together." "I don't understand..." "Well, you have Jacob... You love him and I'm not threatened by it but I don't want you running off with him." "I know Will... that is why I accepted your ring." "Yes, I know you know, but I want the same understanding from you. I might find a hot guy and "fuck" him." "You want an open relationship?" "No... but I want us to enjoy life. I guess it's the years of doing nothing. We might want to have an orgy with other men... I just want you to make sure that I don't hurt your feelings doing so. So if you feel any jealously or your feelings are ever hurt tell me and I will stop." "Ok," Darren said after a long moment of silence. Will didn't take the chance to ask, but he half feared that Darren wanted to tell him it already hurt. But instead, Will continued to strip down until only his stretched out white briefs remained. Darren, who remained on his back, had only unbuttoned his shirt and the buckle of his belt when Will climbed on top of him. "And with this kiss I began our lovemaking," Will said as he pressed his lips against Darren's, pushing his tongue into Darren's mouth. Darren responded my lifting his head off the bed and wrapping an arm around the back of Will's neck. Will though, quickly slipped out of Darren's arms and began tugging his pants, pulling them off with his underwear included, freeing Darren's cock that slapped against his stomach. Will then climbed back up licking the base of Darren's dick before giving him another kiss. "Well, it's now my turn... you made love to my hole all during rehab," Will said as he flipped Darren over and began to massage his ass. "Oh gosh," Darren sighed. "Shhhh... It's going to be ok babe." "Hey... I'm not scared," Darren said as he turned his head around to face Will. "I'm not saying you are, but it is a big step in our relationship... bottom boy!" "What!" "You heard me!" Will laughed. "Oh, you're going to pay for that." Darren laughed as he rolled his body over knocking Will off him but as soon as he was on his back Will jumped back on top of him. "You are SO not going to get out of this," Will said as he tried to pin Darren down. "Yes I am... bottom boy indeed." "It was just a turn of phrase," Will laughed as Darren flipped him over so he was on his back. "Yes and I just turned the tables on you." "No you don't... I couldn't even walk straight the day after you did me. It's your turn," Will insisted. This time he kept rolling their bodies together till the fell off the bed with his body falling on top of Darren's. "Ugh!" Darren groaned as he felt the wind knock out of him. "Give up!" Will chuckled not knowing what had happened. "Gasp!" "You ok?" Will asked as he watched Darren's face turn red before he finally took in a deep breath. Will then offered Darren a hand. "Come on hon... lay down on the bed." Darren took the hand as he continued to try to catch his breath. Once on the bed, Will rolled him onto his side and spooned against him. "Sorry if I got a little rough." Darren nodded his head...still unable to speak. "I'm going to make it up to you but tonight I really need your ass," Will said as he sucked on Darren's ear lope. In response Darren bent one of his knees, exposing more of his hole. Will made his way down Darren's back, kissing as he went until he was kissing the soft but muscular flesh of man ass. He pushed the two cheeks apart licking Darren's pink pucker, triggering a moan from his partner. "So you can talk now... can I continue?" Will chuckled. "Yes...please!" Darren groaned. "I knew I could make you my bottom boy." "Will!" "Hey... a man can dream can't he?" "Keep that up and I'll show you whose the real big bottom is." "Alright, butt buddy." "No." "Ok... rear-friend." "No!" "Ass-sistant?" "Will," Darren said in a deadly tone. "Ok... lover." "That's right... I'm not going to be the butt of your jokes." "But... you just did!" Will said disappointed. He had wanted to come up with pet names for all of Darren's body parts. "Can we get back to the fucking please?" "Lovemaking," Will corrected. "Ok... can we get back to it?" "Yes lover... be back in a few." "What!" "Have to get some things... and don't touch yourself while I'm gone!" "Ugh!" Darren moaned in frustration. When Will came back he had metal rings and tube of lube. He had another ring, but it was already around the base of his dick. "What is that?" Darren pointed. "A cock ring... you like it. I got you one as well." "I know what it is but why are you wearing it." "It's suppose to trap the blood engorging the penis... making you harder." "I know that, but why are you wearing one." "What, you don't like it. I even got our names inscribed on them. Just think of them as the wedding ring we wear during sex." "How romantic," Darren chuckled. "Isn't it?" Will replied with a goofy grin. Now come to the edge of the bed. I want to put it on you myself." "Gosh it's tight!" Darren replied as the ring was put in place. "It's supposed to be. So how does it feel?" "Real weird... it almost sends shivers down my back...like someone is sucking at the base of my cock." "Well speaking of sucking... " Will grinned, he knelt down on his knees and took Darren's prick into his mouth. "You taste wonderful babe." To which Darren just groaned. Will cupped Darren's balls with one hand while the other twisted his right nipple. Darren escaped his grasp when he fell back onto the bed. His lover pulled more of his body off the bed so his butt hung off the bed. While continuing to run his tongue down the base of Darren's dick, Will lubed up one of his fingers and slipped it into the crack of Darren's ass. He swirled his tongue around the head before taking his mouth off to work on the balls, which he fluttered with his tongue. He then pushed a second finger into Darren spreading the two apart. "I think you are ready," Will finally said as he watched Darren squirmed. The clamped his mouth onto Darren's dick, going down to the pubes sucking until he got his creamy reward. He then spent a few seconds watching Darren as the post orgasmic calm took over. Now sure that his lover was relaxed, Will stood up, lifting Darren's legs onto his shoulders. He lubed himself up and slowly pushed his way pass the ring muscle into Darren's hole. Will watched as Darren's face tensed and then relaxed as his breathing calmed down. Will then continued his penetration deeper into his lover, relishing every moment, as he became more a part of Darren's body. "You know this has been my dream for a long time." "Me on my back?' Darren laughed. "Yes... I know you don't like me calling you "bottom boy" but..." "Yes?" "I don't look on you as a woman but me as your man... your husband and..." "And?" "And as your husband, it's my job to made love to you." "You make me sound like a chore." "No... not that... it might just be all the heterosexual stereotypes... husband and wife. I guess I always viewed myself as the husband. You were the one who cooked dinner, did the laundry, made the beds. You were my wife before we even had sex." "Well, I'm no woman." "Definitely not... I guess instead of calling you my wife ... caretaker." "Ok then what are you?" Darren grunted as Will made his first stroke in and out of his ass. "Your plumber." "No...seriously." `I want to be your protector, but you never have seemed to need me for it. I would like to be your pillar but I lean against you more then you do me. I wish I were the wage earner so you could do what you want. I wish I felt you depended on me.' That was what Will wanted to say, but instead he said, "I'm your lover." Which was true and very romantic, but did not give Darren a clue to what Will was truly feeling. "And I'm your lover too," Darren replied clueless. Will, wanting to get lost in sex instead of his emotions picked up speed and began to pound Darren's ass until in a final thrust he shot his load. After both regained their breath the two cuddled together in bed. "Was it all you expected it to be?" Darren asked. "Yes," Will half lied. Physically it had been but emotionally he felt as if he were taking something he did not have a right to. ****************************************************** "Hmmmm... you know what... I think you're right. You don't deserve Darren," Lane said as he heard the end of Will's story and as they finished dinner. "I knew you would say that," Will said as if Lane's statement confirmed what he felt about himself. "But do you know the reason why I think you don't deserve him?" "Ok...why." "Because you don't think you deserve his love. He gives it to you but you throw it away. The issue is not your looks, your personality, or your failing to protect him. The issue is you feel like he has no reason to be with you. "But he has no reason to want to be with me." But I tell you he does... he loves you! You just can't accept that love can be that strong of a force." "..." "Let me ask you... do you still love him?" "Yes." "And until you pulled this death stunt do you think he still loved you?" "Yes... that is why I did it. I wanted him to go on with his life." "Do you really think Darren would be only mad on knowing you are alive?" "He will be very mad." "Yes... but don't you think he will also be relieved in seeing you again... after he wipes you ass that is." "He might..." "And I'm telling you he will. You were his best friend. You two lived together longer then many people remain married these days. You just need to get rid of some of your excess pride and go back to him... begging him to take you back." "I will not beg!" "No... you might not need to, but you should go back to him in that mind set or else your ego will get in the way. You need to be forgiven, Will. Not just by Darren but by yourself for not being perfect." "How did you get so wise... it's not like you have had many relationships. You speak of pride being bad...well, I needed my pride. You try relearning how to walk and use your muscles. I needed my pride to survive." "But I have had relationships... not romantic, but with family and friends. I know how pride can actually be hurtful. I was too proud to admit that I was gay. You are too proud to accept forgiveness. Which do you think is worse?" They ate dessert in a silence that remained on the flight back. The only light they saw when they arrived back to the hotel was that of the nightly beach bonfire. Before going their separate ways, Lane made a final comment. "Thanks for dinner...we'll have to do it again. Show me the letter before you mail it off." Will cringed on that. He had half hoped Lane would of forgotten about their deal. He still had no idea what he could say to Darren. When he got to the main desk where he had set himself up in a cot he took a pad of hotel letterhead and began to write... Darren, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Will That was all he felt he could make himself write but he felt he needed to remove any blame from Darren so he added a postscript. P.S. It was all my fault... I never doubted your love. Will then sealed the letter in an envelope but not before putting his engraved cock ring in as well.