Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2002 17:37:17 -0800 (PST)
From: Avatar One <ankh_one@yahoo.com>
Subject: What If?  Part IX

What If?  Part IX
An Original Series by Ankh_one


	Kurt's sadness and feelings of abandonment soon
turned to anger and disbelief.  Everything had gone
perfectly the night before... the dinner, the first
round of sex, the second round of sex.  Kurt couldn't
fathom what had caused Brad to run away without
leaving any reason for his departure.

	Unfortunately, it was a work day, and although Kurt
had the luxury of taking the preceding day off, he
could not remain home again.  As he stepped into the
shower, he noticed that his skin smelled slightly like
Brad's cologne.  With all of the body contact and
sweating the night before, it was no wonder that
Brad's aroma had mingled with Kurt's own scent.  The
reminder of Brad did not help to improve Kurt's mood.

	As Kurt showered, he imagined what his conversation
would be like the next time he ran into Brad.  Kurt
was completely stumped as to how he should approach
any future meetings.  After all, it was Brad who had
some explaining to do.

	Kurt finished with his shower and headed to work.
Not surprisingly, he did not get much accomplished
that day.  One of his co-workers even commented that
Kurt's head didn't seem to be in the game today.  A
couple of times during the day, Kurt checked his voice
mail at home to see if Brad had left any messages.
Much to his disappointment, he had no new messages.

	Quitting time finally arrived, and Kurt decided to
skip his daily visit to the gym.  He desperately
wanted to go over to Brad's house and demand an
explanation for Brad's behavior.  Racing toward his
neighborhood, Kurt broke the speed limit several
times.  It was a good thing that there were no police
cars in the area because Kurt surely would have gotten
a hefty fine.

	Kurt pulled into Brad's driveway and noticed that
there didn't seem to be any signs of life in the
house.  He walked up to the porch and rang the
doorbell.  There was no response.  Kurt decided to go
home since it appeared that Brad was not yet home from
work.

	While checking out the window every 15 minutes or so,
Kurt spent the night trying to figure out what was
going on in Brad's head.  Kurt had not pressured him
in any way about a long-term relationship.  After all,
the night before was only their first time to have
sex.  Kurt admitted to himself that he barely knew
Brad and began to wonder if this was Brad's usual
pattern of behavior.  After all, Kurt had seen that
twink come out of Brad's house only a few days ago, so
Brad obviously didn't have a problem with casual
encounters.

	Even though he knew it would appear that he was
desperate, Kurt decided to call Brad and leave a
message on his voice mail under the theory that Brad
would check his home voice mail from where ever he
was.

	When the beep sounded, Kurt said, "Hey, Brad.  It's
Kurt.  I was just wondering what was up.  I was kind
of surprised that you had left sometime during the
night and I was wondering if everything was OK or if
maybe you were sick or... I don't know.  Umm... look, just
give me a call when you get this message.  And, uh... I
had a really nice time last night.  Talk to you soon."

	Kurt knew as soon as he hung up the phone that the
message wasn't exactly the best that he could have
left.  Kurt knew that the message made him sound
desperate, and God knows that he never wanted to
appear to be so hooked on someone so soon.  He thought
that it might have set a bad tone for the relationship
in that Kurt had essentially just given Brad the
"upper hand."

	Kurt muttered to himself, "I'm sick of thinking this
way and playing those games that I claim I hate.  So
what if I sound a bit desperate?  I like the guy and I
thought he liked me.  Relationships should not be
about who has the upper hand and who is vulnerable.
It should be about being together and sharing things
on an equal footing."

	As soon as the words had escaped his mouth, Kurt
realized what his fatal mistake had been.  For several
years, he had tried to have a long-term relationship
with someone, and he repeatedly failed.  There were
many reasons why things did not work out with the few
people that he had gotten serious with, but the
overriding theme seemed to be that the vast majority
of men could not handle a long-term, monogamous
relationship.  Kurt began to think that he was chasing
after a dream that he could never fulfill.

	"You know what women say about straight men," Kurt
thought to himself.  "They're all dogs who will leave
you as soon as something better comes along.  Maybe
gay men are the same or even worse."

	These thoughts disturbed Kurt, and he spent the night
tossing and turning in bed rather than getting any
sleep.  He just couldn't get one thought out of his
head: he would never have a loving relationship that
lasted more than a few months.

	The next morning, Kurt's alarm went off and he felt
like he had been run over by a truck.  He had dozed
sometime around 5 a.m., but it was a restless sleep
that did virtually nothing to rejuvenate his body.
Work was not going to be fun again today.

	After somehow managing to get through what seemed to
be an endless workday, Kurt headed to the gym.  He
knew that he had to work out extra hard today to
relieve some of his stress and to make himself
physically tired so that he would be able to sleep
that night.  Of course, he had checked his home voice
mail throughout the day, and as expected, there was no
message from Brad.  His desperation even caused him to
run home during his lunch hour to see if there was any
activity at Brad's house.  All that Kurt found was
that Brad's mail and newspapers were beginning to pile
up on his porch.

	As he made his way to the locker room, Kurt said to
himself, "Fuck it!  I'm tired of wondering what the
hell is going on with Brad.  He obviously wanted a
one-night stand and is too much of a pussy to admit
that to me.  Instead, he must be playing the "I was
out of town on business" game to avoid explaining his
behavior.  Maybe I just need to go back to my tricking
days and just worry about getting laid.  Men are scum,
and it's about time that I accept that conclusion.  I
should use them for sex like I've been used so many
times before."

	Kurt stomped over to his locker and threw the door
open.  It banged loudly against the adjoining locker,
but Kurt didn't care.  He was going to throw his anger
into a really intense workout.  Rather than doing the
weight machines today, Kurt decided to focus
exclusively on swimming.  That way, he wouldn't have
to endure those silly games that some of the men
played while working out which included the quick
looks at other guys' crotches, getting caught looking
at another guy's ass, and the infamous "make eye
contact for a second and quickly look away" game.  At
least in the pool, Kurt could just put his head down
into the water and not have to look at anyone or
anything.

	Kurt practically ripped his shirt off and threw it
into his locker.  He removed his shoes and threw them
into the bottom of the locker.  A few of the guys
looked in his direction because of all of the noise
that he was making.  Kurt didn't care though.  If they
correctly thought that he was in a lousy mood, they
wouldn't bother him with silly locker room chit-chat
about sports and other butch matters.

	After removing his pants and boxer-briefs, Kurt
realized that he needed to relieve his bladder before
hitting the pool.  Normally, he would have put his
Calvins back on before walking over to the bathroom,
but today he didn't care.  He brazenly walked to the
bathroom without a stitch of clothing on.  Several of
the guys turned to look at his ass after Kurt had
walked past them.

	One of the guys who was especially turned on was Jake
whose locker was two down from Kurt's.  Jake had a
secret crush on Kurt, but he was afraid to reveal his
feelings because he simply could not tell if Kurt was
gay or not.  Jake knew the awful consequences of
mistakenly hitting on a straight guy, and he didn't
want to risk it with Kurt.  Jake was grudgingly
content to sneak quick looks at Kurt's body every day
when  he changed clothes.

	Jake had been walking to his locker at the time that
Kurt was heading toward the bathroom.  He said "Hey,
Kurt", but Kurt merely growled a response.  "Someone
is in a really bad mood today," Jake thought.

	Jake set his stuff down on the bench and opened his
locker.  While Kurt was away, Jake had extra time to
look at Kurt's stuff.  Jake noticed that Kurt once
again had worn Calvin Klein boxer-briefs, a fact that
Jake found very arousing.  Jake also noticed that Kurt
had a pair of Speedos laying on the top shelf of his
locker.  Jake surmised that today was a swimming day
for Kurt and that he would be able to once again see
Kurt's perfect ass in a brief pair of Speedos.
Willing his dick to go down, Jake began to change into
his workout clothes.

	After Kurt had relieved himself, he walked back
toward his locker.  He noticed that Jake seemed to be
paying a lot of attention to what was in Kurt's
locker.  He wondered if Jake was gay and was
interested in him.

	Because he was in a devilish mood, Kurt decided to
have a little fun with Jake.  After all, Jake was a
masculine, attractive guy.  Jake was 5'10" tall, 165
pounds, good muscle definition, and had a great hairy
chest.  Thankfully, Jake didn't seem to suffer from
that "disease" that inflicts most hirsute men: more
hair on their bodies than on their heads.  Jake had a
full head of light brown/reddish hair.  This was
really the first time that Kurt had noticed that Jake
was really attractive.  Usually when in a locker room
environment, Kurt wouldn't allow himself to look at
other men because he was afraid his lengthening dick
would betray his homosexuality.  Kurt was not ashamed
of being gay; he just wasn't the sort of guy who
thought that it was necessary to advertise his
sexuality to the whole world every moment of the day.

	Right before stepping in front of his locker, Kurt
tugged at his cock so that it would expand a bit.
Kurt decided that he was going to have a little fun
with his buddy Jake.

	"Hey, Jake!  How's it hanging, buddy?" Kurt said as
slapped Jake roughly on his naked back.

	Jake was startled and jumped back a bit, a fact that
was obvious to Kurt.

	"A little jumpy today, Jake?  Too much caffeine?"
Kurt asked.

	"No, Kurt.  It's just... I was lost in thought and you
startled me," Jake replied, making sure that he did
not look in Kurt's direction.

	Kurt put his right leg up on the bench and faced
Jake.  Kurt's cock was growing at the excitement of
having a little fun with Jake, and Kurt had no
intention of hiding his lengthening cock.  Putting his
leg up on the bench, though, did provide an adequate
barrier so that no one in the locker room except Jake
would see that Kurt had a hard-on.

	Jake was already shirtless and was proceeding to take
off his pants when he glanced over in Kurt's
direction.  Jake's jaw almost hit the floor when he
saw that Kurt's dick was erect.  Jake's own cock began
to stir in his boxers, and Jake knew that there was no
way he could take off his pants without Kurt knowing
that he was aroused.

	Kurt kept up his inane chit-chat while his cock rose
to its generous 8 inches.  He noticed that Jake was
beginning to sweat around his brow and that Jake's
pants were tenting out a bit.

	"It's time to turn up the heat a bit," Kurt thought.

	Taking his right leg down from the bench, Kurt turned
so that his ass faced Jake.  He bent over to get his
towel out of his gym bag, and he purposely took quite
a long time to rummage through his bag.  Kurt even
opened and closed his anus while bending over.  He was
certain that Jake had seen it because he heard no
sounds coming from Jake's direction.

	"That should be enough for now," Kurt thought as he
willed his dick to return to its flaccid state.
Kurt's dick quickly shrank since he was picturing all
sorts of disgusting thoughts in his mind like sticking
his tongue up a woman's cunt and the disgusting
ripples that occur when a fat guy's ass is being
pounded during sex.

	Kurt spun around just in time to see Jake's eyes
locked on Kurt's ass.  Jake quickly looked away, and
Kurt began to slowly put on his Speedos.  He pulled
them up as far as his balls and made sure that he took
a lot of time in getting the waistband past his
manhood.  After getting the Speedos up on his waist,
Kurt put his right hand into his swimsuit in an
exaggerated motion to adjust his cock and balls to fit
more comfortably in the tight nylon.  Kurt quickly
glanced over to Jake and thought that he could see
steam coming out of Jake's ears.

	"Well, my gaydar was right again," Kurt thought.

	After tying the strings on his Speedos and adjusting
himself once again, Kurt looked right at Jake and
said, "Well, Jakey-boy, it's time for me to get wet.
Have a good workout."

	"You, too," Jake managed to mumble despite the fact
that he had been holding his breath for over a minute
in amazement at the sight of Kurt's body.

	Kurt threw himself into his workout and, as expected,
he was pretty tired after an hour-long swim.  He knew
that Jake usually took an hour to complete his
weight-lifting routine, so Kurt got out of the pool
and headed toward the locker room.

	Jake was already finished for the day and was
stripping down for a shower.  By the time Kurt got to
his locker, Jake only had on a black jock strap.  Kurt
didn't hide the fact that he was seriously checking
Jake out, and he knew that Jake noticed.

	"Hey, Jakey!  Did you work up a good sweat today?"
Kurt asked.

	"Yeah, it seemed like I had a lot of excess energy
today," Jake replied.  "How about you?"

	"Well, I don't usually sweat much when I'm swimming,
but I had an intense workout.  I guess I'll have to
find a better way to work up a sweat tonight," Kurt
replied with an evil grin on his face.

	As he was untying the strings to his Speedos, Kurt
decided to kick his plans into high gear.  "Damn,
these things seem tight today," he said as he pulled
the waistband over his dick and balls.

	"Dude, I don't know how you can stand wearing that.
I don't like to wear anything that tight," Jake
replied as he stared at Kurt's crotch.

	"Don't knock 'em until you try 'em, Jake.  They're
not any tighter than your jock strap.  Besides, in the
water, they feel like you're not wearing anything at
all," Kurt said.

	"I'll just stick to my baggy trunks.  They're more
comfortable," Jake said as he removed his jock strap
and threw it into his locker.

	"But then no one can see what a great ass and package
you have," Kurt said before he slapped Jake's bare
ass.

	Jake almost fell over from Kurt's actions.  He
wondered if Kurt was indeed gay.  Then another thought
ran through his mind: what if Kurt was attracted to
him?  By this time, Kurt had already headed toward the
showers and Jake noticed that his own cock was
beginning to get hard.

	"Down, boy!" Jake thought to himself as he wrapped
his towel around his waist.

	In the shower area, Kurt purposely avoided the
private shower stall area and instead headed for the
common showers.  Eight shower heads lined the outside
of a rectangular area that was about 8' by 12'.  Kurt
walked over to one of the shower heads in the corner
and turned it on.  He just had enough time to start
soaping up his crotch when Jake walked in.

	"Come on and join the party, Jake," Kurt said as he
motioned toward the shower head that was next to him.

	Jake sheepishly looked at the floor while walking
toward Kurt.  He turned the water on and made sure it
was as cold as he could stand.  Jake really needed a
cold shower to calm his lust down.

	"Whoa, Jakey-boy.  What's up with the cold water?
Let's make this a little warmer," Kurt said as he
reached over to the spigot that controlled Jake's
shower.  Kurt's hand lightly brushed Jake's hairy
chest as he turned the nozzle to get hotter water.
Jake couldn't help his reaction; he immediately got a
hard-on.

	Kurt took his bar of soap and rubbed it around in his
hands to create some lather.  He then reached over and
began to wash Jake's back.

	"I didn't think you'd mind if I helped you out a
bit," Kurt said.

	"Uh, no," Jake replied in a high-pitched voice.

	Kurt slowly worked his hands lower and lower on
Jake's back, and seizing the moment, Kurt ran his
index finger slowly over Jake's ass crack and anus.
Jake shivered and let out a low moan.  His cock began
to leak some serious pre-come.

	Jake wasn't the only one who was aroused by these
actions.  Kurt's dick was hard as a rock, and as he
took a step closer to Jake, Kurt's cock made contact
with Jake's pucker hole.  Kurt just let his dick stay
right there.  He didn't try to push in nor did he take
a step back.  Kurt then reached around Jake and began
to massage Jake's nipples.  Jake moaned a little too
loudly, and Kurt immediately stopped what he was doing
and took a few steps back.

	"Let's continue this hot scene at my place, stud,"
Kurt whispered.

	"Great.  But hurry, Kurt.  I'm on fire," Jake
replied.

	Drying themselves off and dressing, Kurt and Jake
made it out of the gym in record time.  They quickly
reached Kurt's house and went straight (no pun
intended) to the bedroom.  Kurt practically ripped
Jake's clothes off and threw him on the bed.  Wasting
no time, Kurt removed his own clothes and reached in
the nightstand drawer for lube and a condom.

	"Umm... I don't have a lot of experience with gay sex
and I've always been a top.  So, you understand if I
tell you that I don't want to be fucked," Jake said
with a worried look on his face.

	"Well, Jakey-boy, no one stays a virgin forever,"
Kurt replied sarcastically.  Lifting Jake's legs up to
his own shoulders, Kurt added, "Remember this night,
Jake.  This is the night that a hot stud takes your
cherry."

	Jake could only whimper as Kurt began to lube his ass
and finger fuck him.  One finger, then two, and
finally three fingers were swallowed by Jake's hungry
ass.  Jake wondered why he had never bottomed before
since this felt really good so far.

	"Now, just relax and push out.  It'll burn for a
minute and then all you'll feel is pleasure," Kurt
advised him.

	Lining up, Kurt slowly stuck his dick into Jake's
virgin ass.  As expected, Jake cried out from the
pain.  Kurt craned his neck to begin to make out with
Jake, and the vicious tongue lashing that he was
receiving relaxed Jake.  Before he knew it, Jake had
taken Kurt's dick to the root.

	"Hang on for the ride of your life, Jake," Kurt said
as he began a slow rhythm.

	Jake was a natural bottom.  He soon was clamping his
ass muscles around Kurt's dick as Kurt pulled back
during each thrust.  Jake had never had so much fun
during sex.  Kurt expertly massaged Jake's prostate
with each thrust, and Jake couldn't hold back his
moans and pleadings to be fucked harder.

	Kurt was working up a sweat and needed a break or he
was going to cum shortly.  So, he pulled out and told
Jake to get on his hands and knees.

	"I can't wait for you to fuck me like a dog," Jake
encouraged.

	"Arf arf, Jakey," Kurt said as he slammed his dick up
Jake's hole in one strong thrust.

	"Oh my God, I've died and gone to Heaven," Jake said
in ecstasy.

	Holding on to Jake's waist, Kurt plowed his dick in
and out of Jake's tight ass.  This was one deflowering
that would make the record books.

	"I'm getting close," Kurt uttered.

	Before Kurt knew it, Jake had gotten out of the
doggy-style position, turned around and was removing
Kurt's condom.

	"I want you to shoot your load in my mouth," Jake
begged.

	"Hmmm... methinks you've done this before,
grasshopper," Kurt said as Jake deep-throated his
cock.

	Soon, Kurt shot a huge load into Jake's mouth and
Jake swallowed it without losing a drop.

	"Not the safest method of sex, but it works for me,"
Kurt thought.

	After swallowing Kurt's load, Jake only stroked
himself twice before shooting his wad all over his
hairy chest.

	"Lick my cum off my chest," Jake demanded.

	"Sorry, pal.  I don't do that," Kurt said as he got
off the bed and headed toward the bathroom.

	"Now the next question is what line will he use to
leave?  Will it be 'I've got an early meeting in the
morning?' or 'That was great.  Let's get together
again soon.'" Kurt thought to himself.

	By the time Kurt had finished cleaning up in the
bathroom, Jake already had his boxers on and was
looking for his other clothes.  He saw Kurt and rushed
over to plant a wet kiss on Kurt.

	"That was great and I'd love to do it again soon, but
I've got to go... early appointment tomorrow," Jake
said.

	"Oh, it's the combination line for Jake... a
first-class choice." Kurt said to himself.

	"Yeah, me too.  I'll walk you to the door," Kurt said
with mock sincerity.

	After Jake left, those old feelings hit Kurt like a
truck.  Feelings of emptiness, self-loathing, disgust,
and even a small bit of nausea almost overwhelmed
Kurt.

	"Gee, it's been so long since I've had these
'special' feelings.  And it's SO nice to know that
they don't change no matter how hot the trick was,"
Kurt said aloud.

	He collapsed naked on his bed and buried his face
under a pillow.  He berated himself repeatedly for
what he had just done.  At one point, he even realized
that he was no better than Brad when it came to
emotionless, mindless tricking.

	"God, I never should have done that!  Now I feel
worse than ever about my life and that asshole Brad,"
Kurt thought.

	After a few minutes of mental flogging, Kurt got out
of bed and went directly to the shower.  He always
felt dirty after tricking with someone, and his
encounter with Jake was no exception.  If he could
have turned back time to a few hours ago, he gladly
would have skipped doing what he had just done.

	After drying off and getting ready to go to sleep,
Kurt was about to shut off the bedroom light when the
phone rang.  Since it was pretty late, he wondered who
the hell was calling him.

	Kurt picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

	"Kurt, it's Brad..."

* * * * *

End of Part IX.  Comments are appreciated.  I think
Part X will be the last of the series but I'm not
exactly sure how to end it.  Part of me doesn't want
the fairy (sorry, no pun intended) tale ending but
part of me does.  Let me know what you think.  My
e-mail is ankh_one@yahoo.com.